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OpenVisionZ Blog #13 - The Story of the 13 Year Old Assassin

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Last night Farts got extremely drunk and started throwing Texas Clover Leafs, and Facebusters on his furniture unaware of operation "Gas Mask" the Chinese Triads assassination attempt on the malodorous Ex Pro Amatuer Wrestling Phenom - Roarin Farts McGuilliman Roarin Farts was walking home from his favorite restaurant, Chinks Lee All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet in Brooklyn, New York, he loved the cheesy stuffed Chinese burrito pockets and all you can smother hummus dip

they had and always ranted about how clean and well kept their restrooms were. Roarin Farts decided to grab a 30 racker of his preferred drink of choice, True Ice Beer, at One Eyes Beer & Spirits before heading home. Farts stepped into his apartment, plopped himself on the couch, popped in old VHS tapes

of his most classic wrestling matches

, and pushed out a giant fart while cracking a beer. When he got to the Cage and Rage Mania Match held at The Omaha Meat Grinder, he was elbow dropping couch cushions, as the matches went on, the more Roarin Farts would drink and reminisce of how he could finish a bum wrestlers career at anytime performing high flying dare devil signature moves like the Flying 360 Brown Eye Buttock Drop and the Flying Mouth Shart. Farts put in the last VHS tape

of his classic wrestling match box set, The Cage and Rage Matches from Hell Vol 5, the legendary match between Thick "Tuna Can Dick" Turner and him started playing, Roarin Farts began slurring out old wrestling taunts at his TV with frustration, he screamed out "Sharts in Yo Mouth Bitch" while throwing a sloppy arm bar and all of a sudden as if Thick "Tuna Can Dick" Turner was sprawled out on his living room floor, Farts climbed his coffee table and full of remiss leaped off attempting to pull off a high Flying 360 Brown Eye Buttock Drop, failing horribly and hitting his head on the end table knocking him out until the next day.

Roarin Farts Apartment

The next day, Roarin Farts woke up and reached over to grab a warm, flat, half empty can of True Ice Beer, after drinking it he chased it with the last drag of a cigarette butt he found from under the flipped over ashtray on the floor. He sat up and belched out the word "Mouth Farts" then stood up to see the mess he made, flashbacks of last nights imprudent behavior started running threw his head, he looked over towards his closet and the door was wide open, he squinted his eyes to see a little body sprawled out next to his closet, he thought to himself I hope I didn't call Lin's Escort Service for another Lady Boy midget again, but then remembered he was blackballed from Lin's and pretty much all of the escort services for paying with stolen credit cards.

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Farts had no idea who or why there was a 4 foot person face down on his floor, he stumbled over to the closet with a half limp stiffy and a half ass buzz to see who the vertically challenged suspicious unknown lifeless body was and began to poke at the little body with a broken selfie stick

, Roarin Farts mumbled "hey wake up it's time go party's over", he got no response from the person, he gave another poke and said aloud "hey get up you gotta go", still nothing. Roarin Farts knelt down and noticed that the little person was wearing a all black judogi

and had two ninja sai's

tucked into a black belt and for some reason they had a purple bandanna over their mouth and face. Farts was flummoxed.

Roarin Farts

Roarin farts anxious and bemused, tried to put together what he did last night that would have involved little ninja's but all he could remember was watching his classic wrestling match

with the ferocious 7'5 "Japanese Tornado" Swung Lo Hoggins in the 1987 International Wrestling Federation of Amateur Wrestlers "Royal Blood Battle" on VHS

. Roarin Farts McGuilliman was bewildered as to why there was a what seemed to be dead ninja midget on the floor of his apartment. Roarin Farts reached over and pulled the bandanna up, it was a 13 year old boy. Farts gasped then let a leaky fart slide out, at first he thought that maybe he invited one of the neighborhood kids over to play wrestling games

and a horrible accident happened, but then realized that the neighborhood he lived on had no families just users and losers, no kids just hookers and dope dealers, and definitely no mini ninjas just pushers and pimps, then he thought that maybe the neighborhood pimps may have started a child sex ring but the main pimp in the area was Long Dick Chappy, he ran the trade on vagina and was only in the business of selling snatch from older woman, grown men, and some animals. Farts knew Chappy would never deal with children and especially little ninja boys. He started digging around the boy for identification and came across a piece of paper which had his address and the words "operation gas-mask" written on it. Roarin Farts started to fart out of shear nervousness he had to put 2 and 2 together, he thought that maybe this kid was one of his illegitimates conceived during his illustrious pro amateur wrestling career, so he tried to look for recognizable facial features, he propped the dead ninja kid up and turned his face to the light to get a better look, then noticed that this kid was covered in scars and had cross-hairs tattooed on his neck and a tear drop tattoo under his eye. Roarin Farts had a bad feeling about the situation, last nights hangover started to wear off as did the half limp stiffy, he started to wonder what kind of kid runs around a neighborhood with neck tattoos, and Chinese ninja sai's

then it became clear that the kid laying on his floor was not one of his illegitimate children, nor a neighborhood hoodlum. Farts came to the conclusion that "operation gas mask" was a sepc ops assassination contract put out by the Chinese Triads

to eliminate the gas. Farts ran to the phone and started to dial his old wrestling manager, Mr. Bob Bickles whom he thought could give him some answers, he got a busy signal followed by "sorry this number is disconnected repeated by please try your call again.

The Loquacious Pimp

Farts was confused he tried to dial the number again but it was followed by the same busy signal and message, he knew something wasn't right, Mr. Bob Bickles was retired from the wrestling business and only left his house to hit the XXX Peep Shows

around Brooklyn. Roarin Farts started to fart out of fear, he had a bad feeling about why Mr. Bob Bickles wasn't answering the phone, and it became clear as day that the Triads

were out to cut the cheese. Roarin Farts grabbed his Polaroid

and snapped a picture of the 13 year old assassins face and immediately called the only pimp who still gave him credit on hoes, Long Dick Chappy, the loquacious pimp. Long Dick answered the phone, "Fuck is this" - Roarin Farts, "It's Farts I got a dilemma Chappy" - he explained that he woke up with a 13 year old ninja assassin on his floor dead, and that he had a feeling the Triads are involved and possibly got to Mr. Bob Bickles because his phone isn't working. Long Dick Chappy said, "Dont worry Farts I got that LD, Get to my office baby, take it easy like a mac makes em sleazy, keep your cool like a pimp gets em wet by the pool, papa keep it smooth, relax I got you" Long Dick knew how the Triads liked to operate, he's dealt with the Triads a few times and has also defeated a few assassination attempts from crime organizations, like the Guyanese Mafia, the Nigerian Organized Crime Organization, The Spanish Smuggling Association and others, Long Dicks worst enemy was the Triads, he knew that Roarin Farts or Mr. Bob Bickles must have disrespected the Triads in a horrible unforgettable way or they would not have sent the 13 Year Old Assassin.

The Tale Of The 13 Year Old Assassin

Triads Grand Master Leader - Ghou Han Zhen

The 13 year old assassin was a ancient Chinese myth that has only been rumors in the streets, Long Dick Chappy knew that Roarin Farts was in trouble but had to make a plan to get him to safety. Farts arrives at Long Dicks office, white as a ghost, shaking, trembling, and bursting out little poots as he stood at the door way. Long Dick Chappy invited him in and locked the door behind him then began to ask Farts if anyone followed him, Farts said, "no," Chappy began telling the tale of the 13 year old assassin, and how he doesn't appear for no reason, and that the little ninja dead on the floor back at the apartment was not the only 13 year old ninja assassin, that there will be more 13 year old assassins that will make more assassination attempts. Chappy went on to say that The 13 Year Old Assassin is a old Chinese tale from the Ming Dynasty

, it involves triad ghost warriors created by Pakistani voodoo witch doctors who had teamed up with the Triads Grand Master Ghou Han Zhen back in the day to eliminate Japanese Yakuza

Pirates. It all started when Triads Grand Masters 13 year old son, Qou Han Zhen, was on a fishing excursion, the vessel he was on was hijacked by Japanese Pirates who sold children to a Philippine child labor group and executed the rest of the fishing crew older than 13. The Triads Grand Master Leader, Ghou Han Zhen, received the news of his sons capture and had a plan to buy back his son from the Filipino Child Labor Group, he agreed to a large amount of gold to be delivered to the Spratly Islands off the south coast of China in exchange for his son, The Spratly Islands were secretly occupied by the Japanese Yakuza

, they were using the islands as a pirate recruitment base, but the Triads had known that Yakuza Pirates were occupying these islands because of a trade deals involving opium for hummus with Pakistani witch doctors, the witch doctors gave reports of flat faced pirates being seen in and around the south coast to the Triads who kept close tabs on the Yakuza pirates, as a way to keep friends close but enemies closer tactic. So the Triads Grand Master Leader, Ghou Han Zhen, proposed a deal with the Pakastani witch doctors to make a voodoo potion weapon, but in exchange for the potion the witch doctors wanted perform voodoo, a spell would be performed on all of the Triads 13 year old children, they would be immortalized. Grand Master Leader, Ghou Han Zhen agreed to the deal with the Pakastani Witch Doctors for 2 reasons, it would aide of the rescue of his son and make trade safe on the south coast again, eliminating the threat of Yakuza Pirates. The Pakistani Witch Doctors made a poisonous gas tincture of hummus

and curry that the Triads would hide in the chest of gold, Grand Master Leader Ghou knew that Yakuza Pirates would attempt hijack the shipment, and when the Yakuza

Pirates opened the chest, it would trigger the release of the poisonous gas which will knock out the pirates, allowing the Triads to capture them, then the Triads would be able to slaughter the Filipinos because they would not have the Yakuza Pirates as back up. The plan worked, the Triads were able to defeat the Yakuza Pirates all while regaining control of the Spartly Islands and rescuing the Baby Triad Emperor, "Qou Han Zhen", from the Filipino Child Labor Group who the Triads

captured and sold into slavery in Indonesia. After the rescue, Triads Grand Master Leader, Ghou Han Zhen, allowed the Pakistani voodoo witch doctors to cast a voodoo curse spell on 13 children of the Grand Masters choice. The voodoo spell meant to immortalize the 13 children gave Ghou Han Zhen a advantageous opportunity for the Triads Organization. Ghou Han Zhen chose to make a crew of immortal child warrior ninja assassins, training the immortalized children in the art of war, and building the temple of the 13 Year Old Ninja on the Spartly Islands. The children were trained in all aspects of hand to hand combat and combat weaponry, it resulted in a army of 13 year old Ninjas that were eventually sent to eliminate the worlds Child Labor Organizations. Legend has it that the immortalized children of the Triads still occupy the Spartly Islands, and that the Triads have used them to their advantage to grow the organization to be the most notorious gang the world has ever seen.

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Now that Long Dick explained the story of the 13 year old assassin, Roarin Farts started to remember that back in his preeminent wrestling career, Mr. Bob Bickles scheduled a lot of mid tier amateur wrestling matches in japan, Mr. Bickles would talk about some deal he had with this Chinese company to sponsor wrestling matches, and that they imported hummus

and owned a bunch of child day care services in and around China. One day after Roarin Farts winning one of the wrestling matches, Mr. Bickles seemed very distraught and warned Roarin Farts never to eat hummus in a Asian restaurant after dark, but Farts didn't pay no mind to the statement by Mr. Bickles about eating hummus after dark and thought he was just getting old.

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Long Dick Chappy started getting a weird feeling and then there was a knock on the door, he gestured to Farts to be quiet and tiptoed to the door and looked through the peep hole but no one was there, he opened the door and there was a big heaping bowl of hummus

with a severed human hand on top holding a note, the note had the words "operation gas mask" written in red crayon. Long Dick knew he had issues, he started to go for his gun safe but then realized that if the Triads knew Farts was here, they must have already booby trapped the gun safe and probably are watching them right now. Long Dick looked over at Farts and said, "yo, we got a problem, The triads know where we are and we have to get out of here now big daddy smelly legs", he showed Farts the bowl of hummus

and the severed hand, Farts blew a fearful fart and said, "I know those fingers man, thats Mr. Bickles hand!! What the fuck they killed Mr. Bickles Long Dick, they killed Mr. Bob fucking Bickles!! What are we gonna do?" Dick Chappy reached for his secret throw away emergency phone and called his bottom bitch, "Olivia Le'Avenem Limp", aka "The Lil Babushka", LD explained the problem and told her to reach out to the Russians for some back up, then to meet him in Brooklyn, at the hand job spot under the subway tracks. The Lil Babushka was a Ex-Professional Russian Bear Jockey who was not intimidated by anyone, especially the little dicked Chinese Triads. She decided that she would not reach out to the Russians, and handle this business with her bare hands. She hopped in a taxi and headed towards Brooklyn.

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Chappy asked how Roarin Farts killed the Ninja that was at his apartment and Farts insisted that he didn't, he said he woke up and the 13 Year Old Ninja was on the floor dead with a bandanna over his mouth. Chappy thought about the old Chinese tale and how the Triads defeated the Yakuza pirates with a Pakistani Voodoo Stink bomb

, he asked Farts if he sleeps with windows open, Farts said, "no, I don't even have windows" Then Farts made a couple fart snappers, tight poppers, packed with a cheesy redolence, Long Dick took a sniff then asked Farts, "what in the hell did you eat, you bad mah fucker," Farts told him that he had been drinking True Ice Beer and ate at Chinks Lee All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet in Brooklyn he had Cheese Stuffed Chinese Burrito Pockets, and how that they have the best Cheesy Stuffed Chinese Burrito Pockets but when he goes heavy on the hummus dip, it gives him horrible, cloying flatulence. Then a light bulb went off in Dicks head, he knew Roarin Farts must have filled the little apartment with Cheesy Burrito Beer Farts while knocked out on the floor, when the 13 Year Old Assassin entered the apartment unbeknownst to the miasma of Roarin Farts' deadly cheesy hummus farts, he got overwhelmed with the fetor stench of cheesy beer hummus

fart gas and passed out, then from the lack of oxygen to his little tiny lungs, and the fact that Farts had no ventilation, the prolonged exposure to cheesy farts the mini ninja in a stench coma!! Roarin Farts was in denial, he insisted his farts could never kill anyone but Long Dick knew that was the only thing that made sense. Long Dick grabbed the keys to his Big Dick Caddy Car and told Roarin Farts, "Lets go! We gots to meet that Lil Babushka at the hand job spot in Brooklyn".

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They slowly opened the door, Chappy sticks his head out and looks down the hallway and then said, "The coast is clear Baby Boofs", they quickly ran for the elevator but it had a out of order sign on it, Farts let a tiny little fart out and Chappy said, "Ain't that a bitch". Then they notice a small black figure walking towards them slowly, Farts shouts out "Chappy, That's the mini ninja kid!!". Long Dick reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter, he tells Farts, "Bend over and get ready to rip if this little Chinese ninja punk ass kid gets any closer!" Farts dropped his pants, spreads his cheeks, and bent over aiming his brown eye directly at the little ninja. The 13 year old ninja stopped, laughed, and threw a smoke bomb

on the floor then disappeared very mysteriously. While bent over, Farts was looking at a big open window at the end of the hall, he said, " LD, there's a window" Chappy and Farts started to run towards end of the hall, Chappy knew they could climb the fire escape down and get out of the building before the 13 year old ninja could come back. Farts went first, but as he bent over to climb out of the window, he blew a toxic monster fart that hit Long Dick directly in the face, Long Dick was immediately aswoon by the fumes. Long Dick began coughing and throwing up, he shoved Farts out of the window causing him to slip and fall down the fire escape right into the dumpster below. Long Dick knew that if he had inhaled anymore of the toxic gas he would have passed out, he instinctively dove out of the window behind Roarin Farts landing on top of him in the dumpster, but as Long Dick jumped out he seen in the distance his main bottom bitch, his top notch hoe, his all star of the track, "Olivia Le'Avenem Limp" also known as "The Lil' Babuska" hiding behind a mail box across the street. Long Dick and Roarin Farts both look up from the dumpster and see 3 little ninjas looking down from the window at them pointing to a SUV that was pulling up, then all of a sudden 6 13 year old ninjas surrounded the dumpster out numbering them. Long Dick threw his hands up surrendering, then Roarin Farts did the same asking "Dick, what the plan is?" Long Dick replied "Don't worry, I got that LD

, just follow my lead." They hop out of the dumpster and the little ninjas hog tied them. A old Chinese man stepped out from the black SUV he walked up to Chappy and Farts, made a face of disgust, then slapped Roarin Farts right in the face and spit at Long Dick Chappy while making hand gestures that looked like the international jack off signal. Long Dick knew that the little old Chinese man was the Leader of the Triads and the owner of Chinks Lee All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet, if Olivia Le'Avenem Limp didn't act fast, the little old Chinese man would not hesitate in the execution of him and farts and sell the body meat to the Chinks Lee All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet out in Long Island.

The Lil Babushka

Long Dick whispered over to Farts, "We gotta make a diversion daddy-o, my Lil Babushka is behind that mailbox across the street, dig, we needs to buy some time for my main bitch to make a move baby, Farts daddy bear, ya dig?" Farts had a plan, he looked over and asked the little old Chinese man, "Do you know who the Japanese Tornado" Swung Lo Hoggins is?" "I beat his yellow ass down in the 1987 International Wrestling Federation of Amateur Wrestlers "Royal Blood Battle", then belched out very loudly "Asians can't wrestle bitch!!" The taunting worked, it created a distraction, but worked so well, one of the 13 year old assassins round house kicked Farts right in the head and shouted, "Shut up, ya Poopy cocka head" right then the Lil Babushka ran out from behind the mail box with a meat clever

and grabbed the little old Chinese man by the neck, she held the meat clever

to his throat and in Russian said, "Болтуна язык до добра не доведёт". The little assassin ninjas felt apprehensive to make a attack, they didn't expect a little Russian woman to be hiding on the streets with a meat clever

, but then the little old Chinese man told the assassins to attack!! One ninja reluctantly came rushing towards Olivia Le'Avenem Limp, she let go of the old man and tossed the meat clever towards Long Dick, giving him the opportunity to cut himself free, then she threw a left hook connecting on the chin of the assassin child dropping him, another little ninja boy began to charge her, she leapt into the air throwing a superman punch shattering the ninja childs nose, Olivia Le'Avenem Limp laughed aloud and in a broken English dialect said, "I make you all limp" transitioning into a spinning round house kick to the third ninja kids belly, dropping him immediately. The remaining assassins surrounded her, Olivia let out a loud growl, and said "it's the dance time boys", she leg swept one little ninja and judo tossed another followed by a spinning elbow that knocked out the third ninja. By this time Chappy had cut himself free and started cutting Farts ropes, Farts was just cutting farts. A gunshot rang out halting everything, everyone looked over to see the little old Chinese Triad leader holding a shotgun

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Pointing the shotgun to the head of Roarin Farts, the Little Old Chinese man said, "You know why I shanghai you friend Mr. Bob Bickles?" Farts shook his head no and with every head turn a little fart passed through his tightly clenched butt cheeks, sounding like bubble wrap popping, the Lil Old Chinese man laughed and said, "I tell you!! Son bitch, Yeah I tell you, You manager Mr. Bob Bickles, I tie him up, he in my restaurant righ now, he tie up in basement hahaha, with one hand hahaha," The little Chinese man started to become erratic and started shouting at Farts, "he shame me, he bootleg movie of XXX Peep Show when he visit China, he have no permission from us to record movie, and he make big big money, now I shame him back hahah, I cut off his matterbation hand hahaha, he now have to do some one hand tug now when watch XXX Peep Show hahaha", Roarin Farts said, "So Mr. Bob Bickles was bootlegging XXX Peep Shows in China and was selling them? I had nothing to do with Mr. Bickles and his perversion habits" The Old Chinese Man apoplectic with anger said, " No, you I assassinate because you come to my restaurant everyday, eat all hummus dip

and leave big shits in toilet and no flush, no tip, you no manors, very disrespectful, clogged my toilet three days!! You no apologize and leave note saying sushi farts leave sushi shits?? I no know what you think I am, no funny very disrespectful!!" Farts looks up and before he could say anything Mr. Bob Bickles walked up with a samurai sword

and swung it full force with his left hand lopping the head of the little old Chinese man clean off, it dropped to the ground and rolled over to the feet of Long Dick Chappy who was in awe at what just happened and said, "Damn Baby, Now ain't that a mother fucker!" Farts could see pee stains and a giant shit smear on his shirt and pants, then looked up at Mr. Bob Bickles and said, "The china man said you were tied up in the basement of Chinks Lee All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet restaurant, how did you escape" and Bob said, "The toilet overflowed flooding the basement in shit water, the water was oily enough for me to slip free and I grabbed the sword hanging on the wall and just started swinging at these little kids dressed up as ninjas". Olivia Le'Avenem Limps phone started ringing, she started yelling in Russian and then asked Long Dick Chappy for $50 because the thots on the strip were out of hand lotion

and 2 for 1 tug job Tuesday was coming, Long Dick asked Roarin Farts for a fifty spot and told Mr. Bob Bickles to get his camera

they got a movie to make!

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openvisionz-blog · 7 years ago

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The OpenVisionZ.com Blog #12 - Long Dick Chappy & The Lil' Babushka

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The Story of Long Dick Chappy (the loquacious pimp) & The Lil' Babushka.

Olivia Le'Avenem Limp

It was a Tuesday night in the South Bronx, Long Dick Chappy was scoping his second string hoes from the Big Dick Caddy make money giving 2 for 1 HJ's, his bottom bitch wearing a pink ultra mini with Asian discount Red Bottoms

, "Olivia Le'Avenem Limp", was up $680 for the night, she was 4'10 and a former Professional Russian Bear Jockey which gave her a short stroke with a firm grip, making her fast and efficient with the hand jobs. Long Dick had her smuggled in from South America during a barter with the Mexicans involving Mandingo Sex Supplements

and a illegally bred rare breed Siamese cat. Long Dick had Olivia Limp as his main bitch not only for her proficient hand skills, but her Russian Bear Riding experience. Olivia Le'Avenem Limp was tough and capable of smacking the other scally wags if needed, she fled from the mother land Russia for setting up wild bear rodeo matches without a permit. In order to avoid the woman's gulag, she had to seek asylum in a Mexican Social Club where she made connections in the brothels that subsequently led her to meeting "Long Dick Chappy" who melted her down in a few words and a couple letters, "I Got That LD For Yo Lil' Babushka"! Olivia Le'Avenem Limp needed a change of underwear, and scenery, and she was broke. Long Dick made her a official second string bottom bitch and threw her on the strip, Olivia was now making money hand over fist, literally.

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The Week Before Long Dick Chappy met Olivia Le'Avenem Limp

LD Chappy just rotated his bench and had some white bitches flown in from Minnesota, these bitches had no charisma, no drive to make money, they were rookie tricks, Chappy had no patience for green hoes but had to keep his Main Thots fresh with tight snatches. LD was losing money on the streets, these second string Minnesota white bitches weren't getting it in nor did they have good business sense, one of them let a trick pay with a illegally bred Siamese cat, another had agreed to a around the world session for 3 crates of expired Nigerian Mandingo Sex supplements, and the rest of them didn't even know they were supposed to be charging. Chappy was still recovering from a botched carpel tunnel surgery, he couldn't slap any of these bitches and this had his blood pressure rising like a teenage boner at a strip club. Long Dick Chappy couldn't afford this shit and he needed to find a certified bottom bitch to put these bitches in training.

Now Long Dick Chappy had this Siamese cat that one of his green hoes received for a payment, Chappy had no need for a illegal rare breed cat, his only interest was 2 legged pussy. Chappy needed cash, he had to get this pussy off, he only knew one crew that fucked with illegally bred Siamese cats, the boys over at the Mexican social club "Local - Uno 2". Chappy threw the pussy in a bag and jumped into his BD Caddy then set out for the long drive to "Local - Uno 2" located just over the Mexican Border. Long Dick Chappy's name was affluential in the Mexican community, he had established the country's first Multi-National Brothel franchise in Tijuana called "La Chappy Dicks", they spread across the country faster than syphilis in a frat house. "La Chappy Dicks" imported unwanted refugee orphans from 3rd world countries and gave them work, health benefits and housing with no obligations, "La Chappy Dicks" gave back to the local communities by donating 60% off house profits to local schools and food kitchens, they turned into the biggest brothel franchise in South America in less than 3 years.

Local Uno 2

Local - Uno 2

So after two long nights of driving he arrived to the Mexican Social Club "Local - Uno 2", Chappy pulled his Big Dick Caddy into the parking lot, hoped out, grabbed his sack of pussy, seen what looked like "Pe-Pe Que Pasa" getting ready to open the club up. Pe-Pe was taking the stools off the bar and seemed to be talking to himself about last nights soccer game between the Taco-Plasmosa's vs. La-Pintos, but Long Dick didn't see anyone else in the bar, LD hadn't seen Pe-Pe Que Pasa in while and it was not out of the ordinary for him to have a couple Tequila's in the morning before opening the club, so he could have been having a conversation with himself. LD walked over to Que Pasa to greet him and as he got closer he noticed a little arm with a tattoo of a 8 point star reach up and put a bottle of Tequila

on the bar, LD looked over the bar and seen a little blonde woman with a face of a street fighter and the body of a Walmart greeter. So LD broke her down with his loquacious pimp game and introduced himself with "I Got That LD For Yo Lil' Babushka" She looked up at Chappy and in a heavy North West Russian dialect replied "I bite off you're LD and make the blumbkin stew with potatoes you disgusting pimp" then she spit on her hands and put her fist's up.

LD needed a woman like this, he was losing money and was in desperate need of a hoe that could train his bench of under performing Minnesota thots, Two for one Tuesday was coming up and Long Dick Chappy knew that unmanaged independent street tricks would take over his spot under the elevated subway tracks in the South Bronx if he wasn't running a full court, it could wind up costing him a thousands, Long Dick Chappy being the hard-bitten Pimp he was, was not willing to lose a god damn dime because of some incompetent green Minnesota white bitches.

The Pussy for Pussy Deal

Exotic Illegally Bred Rare Breed Mint Condition Siamese Cat

Long Dick still had to get this illegally bred Siamese pussy off, Chappy asked Pe-Pe if he would trade "Olivia Le'Avenem Limp" for a incredibly exotic illegally bred rare breed mint condition Siamese cat and a few bottles of Nigerian Mandingo Sex Supplements. Pe-Pe Que Pasa had been thinking about getting a mascot for the social club and members of the Mexican social club loved cats, he also knew some of the social clubs members had limp dick syndrome and the supplements could help that, but Pe-Pe couldn't just accept offers with out a club vote from the Mexican Social Clubs Chairmen. While Que Pasa was ruminating the offer Olivia Le'Avenem Limp was squeezing lemons wondering if she was going to have to rip LD Chappy's nuts off his scrotum and make a blumpkin stew, Long Dick looked over and seen how she was handling those lemons, he noticed that she had a tight grip and a short stroke and without hesitation offered Pe-Pe Que Pasa a lifetime free pass for any of the countries La Chappy Dicks brothels. Pe-Pe Que Pasa decided to make a on the spot executive decision and accept Long Dicks deal. Long Dick smiled because realized he just found a live one, Chappy was excited and he knew he just landed himself a money making machine, they all celebrated the deal with a round of tequila lemon shots.

The Latin Body Smugglers (L.B.S)

Long Dick knew Pe-Pe Que Pasa used to run with the Latin Body Smugglers in the 70's and he asked Pe-Pe how he could get Le'Avenem across the Border without a permit. Que Pasa immediately disliked this idea due to the fact that President Trump had tightened up the borders recently. Long Dick Chappy had to devise a plan. LD knew that he could knock off the rest of his Nigerian Mandingo pills to the local authorities and he did run the countries most successful multi-national brothels, so he had Pe-Pe hire the Latin Body Smugglers to pass out flyers to the local border patrol officers, and on the back of the flyer was a sample pack of the Nigerian Mandingo sex supplements and a coupon for 1/2 off at any of the cities "La Chappy Dicks" brothels.

The plan was beginning to go smoothly the border patrol were using the coupons and taking the Mandingo pills which made the border free & clear. The problem was Pe-Pe Que Pasa asked the Latin Body Smugglers for help in a shipping operation but they turned around and made a back door deal with the border patrol agents. The Latin Body Smugglers were a bad group of underground mule runners, they been involved with smuggling activities since the early 70's and had a long list of political connections, they routinely exported illegally cultivated produce, animal sex slaves, and many other illegal products. As of recently the L.B.S. have been working with the Mexican government to secure safety of their cargo. The Trump/Border problem was not a issue for the Latin Body Smugglers, they built relationships with Texas politicians that threw lavish but unscrupulous Mormon Sex parties, supplying them with inexhaustible amounts of confiscated guacamole from South Central Mexico and shipping animal sex slaves in from Lima, Peru.

Green Light Operation Sneaky Tits

Corn Torts Box Truck

Long Dick's plan was to have Olivia Le'Avenem Limp set up in a shipping crate and have Pe-Pe Que Pasa drive a small box truck loaded with freshly made corn meal tortillas across the border plain & simple. Timing was critical, Long Dick suspected that the L.B.S. would give him problems due to a past feud with the Latin Lovers who were just a bunch of bulky dick thugs from the Bronx, N.Y., so Long Dick Chappy gave Pe-Pe the green light for operation sneaky tits, LD was parked across the street from the border gates, he was watching from his BD Caddy, checking the mirrors and searching for unusual activity. He knew something wasn't right, he kept seeing a albino looking guy pedaling a black ice cream tricycle around the block, he thought to himself who the fuck rides a black popsicle tricycle? Long Dick seen Pe-Pe in his rear view mirror, coming down the road in the box truck about 400 yards out, Chappy had to create a diversion, he had to act fast he knew the Albino pedaling the black ice cream tricycle wasn't hustling fudgesicles to sweaty little Mexican kids playing "hop the border", it was a L.B.S. hit man waiting to catch Pe-Pe make a unwarranted shipment, He radioed Pe-Pe "Stop the truck there is a Mexican Albino on a black popsicle tricycle looking to catch the shipment...copy.." but the message came in mostly static, To Pe-Pe it sounded like Long Dick said "mayday..mayday.. There is a Mexican Albino sucking a black mans popsicle on a tricycle trying to catch the semen...over..." Pe-Pe responded with "copy that...No Problemo, I have my Mandigo Supplements with me...over.." Long Dick Chappy had no time to argue he hopped out of the Big Dick Caddy and knew he had to handle the situation, LD snuck around the back of his car and when the Albino came riding around the corner Chappy was going to cock slap him, a move that Long Dick Chappy had not had to do in many years for fear of damaging his dick. The reason he was called Long Dick was because he had a 18 inch black jack with a head like a mallet in his pants, back in the day he would cock slap rival pimps to secure working zones for his hoes, which is neither here nor there though, right now Long Dick had to cock slap a Albino popsicle slinger working for the L.B.S. trying to take a box truck loaded with money in the form of his main bitch Olivia Le'Avenem Limp.

Albino Mexican

Long Dick Chappy sees the Albino pedaling around the corner the same time as Pe-Pe in the truck, from the looks of it Pe-Pe may of been on the phone or rubbing one off, either way he did not appear to be paying attention to the road and did't see the situation unfolding. Long Dick ran out from behind his Big Dick Caddy, dick in hand, swinging it like a ball and chain, screaming -

"Bitch, You gonna make me scuff ma pretty dick" - BaDonkkk!!

Long Dick cock slaps the Albino Mexican in the face, the tricycle flips, and a bunch of fudgsicle's spill out all over the ground. Pe-Pe Que Pasa didn't even notice the spread of melted fudgsicle's and pulled right up to the border gate. Long Dick Chappy quickly popped the trunk of his car and threw the Albino in. LD picked the popsicle tricycle up and began picking the fudgsicle's up and hopped on the tricycle then started pedaling down the road looking back to see if Pe-Pe made it through the border gates and wondering if he just knocked out a ice cream man and scuffed his dick up for nothing. Pe-Pe crossed the border with no problem and radioed Chappy to tell him objective complete, LD ditched the tricycle, grabbed a few fudgsicles, and headed back to his BD Caddy to figure out what to do with the Mexican Albino in the trunk.

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