orchidsangel

[orchidsangel]

[orchidsangel]

My Heart is Mine Alone, 1997, Helma Sanders-Brahms

[orchidsangel]

even though i have long since accepted that my father will never be present in the way that i want him to be, i still cry for the 8 year old in me who wonders why she’s not good enough for him to pick up the phone when she calls

[orchidsangel]

[orchidsangel]

love an autistic with an unusual special interest. yeah baby tell me all about your encyclopedic knowledge of the titanic. tell me exactly what went terribly horribly wrong to lead chernobyl to explode. oh you love tuberculous? i wanna know how that disease slowly kills a perfectly able bodied human

[orchidsangel]

Jason Todd being a freak of a man ♡

AKA weird/borderline red flag behaviors that Jason exhibits. TW mention of self harm in a passive way.

You got a period? He's tracking that.

Watches you sleep. The worst part (or the best for him) is that he's so good at being quiet that you've never woken up to catch him.

Jason gets the building plans for your apartment/house so he can identify weak spots, renovations, etc. He also likes to identify places that he can hide in. Just in case. :)

Jason's memorized every squeaky stair or door hinge in your place so he knows what to avoid so he won't make a sound.

He would hurt himself for you if he needed to. Take a bullet, break his wrist, whatever. Jason won't tell you because you'll get all concerned which is SO unnecessary because it's not going to change anything. You may not realize how precious you are but Jason does.

Sometimes Jason cups your neck and you think he's being sexy but he's actually checking your pulse.

He's made a copy of all of your keys. He knows all of your passwords. He doesn't break in or login to your laptop or phone (he doesn't need a password to do that anyway) but he has them for emergencies.

When you were first dating, Jason secretly ran an allergy test on you (don't ask how. He just did.) This was because he didn't want to bring you food you'd be allergic to or take you somewhere where you might have an allergic reaction.

Jason has a blood sample from you without your knowledge. He knows your blood type and significant DNA markers.

Sometimes Jason gets afraid that you're losing interest in him (because he's paranoid) so there are times where he brings you food every day and runs errands for you and makes himself extra available. It... borders on Pavlovian training.

He has a secret cabin far from Gotham, in case you ever want to leave for whatever reason. Jason mostly has it in case he or you ever committed a serious crime and needed to go on the lam.

He would break you out of jail, if that wasn't obvious. You'd have to do something disgustingly unforgivable to make him leave you there. Seriously. Jason has a low bar.

If you two had to leave the country, Jason also has several contingency plans for that.

Jason has at least sixty plans for what to do if you fall into some kind of danger or if he becomes indisposed and can't get to you. You do not know about these plans. You will never know about them unless they're needed.

If you get pregnant, Jason will know first.

He has hidden weapons in your place. No, you won't find them. No, they're not all guns.

Jason can do any kind of shopping for you. This is because he's so observant that he's memorized what kind of food you eat, what clothes you wear, what products you buy, what furniture you like, etc.

Jason has a shameful, repressed fantasy of you becoming a supervillain and making him your partner in crime. He would consent to this in a heartbeat. He knows you'd have a very good reason to turn evil.

Jason Todd would kill for you.

Sometimes he has nightmares that you're gone and Jason has to rest his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat to fall back asleep.

Jason has another buried fantasy of you being a mad scientist and doing experiments on him. Do you want to do experiments on him? Please say yes.

At least three of your belongings (jewelry, headphones, shirt tags, etc) have an embedded tracker in them.

Jason always seats you so you'd be able to escape an area quickly (i.e., putting you in the aisle seat at a theater).

When Jason's on a mission and he's trying to force himself to do the right thing, he'll say "(Your Name) would want me to be good. I'll be good for them." You're kind of his god. Whatever works, right?

When you were first dating, Jason made a little shrine of your things in his apartment. He also stole some of your clothes so he could smell you at home (he replaced them so you wouldn't notice! So thoughtful.)

Jason has a lock of your hair for... reasons. You never know when you'll need someone's hair. 🤷‍♀️

The last person who figured out Jason's civilian identity and commented on you landed in the ICU. They didn't make it. So sad.

Jason replicated your scent in a lab and bottled it as a perfume. He sprays it when he's away on a job and misses you.

That's all I have for now! Perhaps there will be more weirdo Jason behaviors in the future 🥰

[orchidsangel]

A lot of Sinner's content excludes Annie and Pearline or minimizes them. I'm talking about fanart primarily. However, Mary is always front and center, she is always drawn in fanarts over Annie and Pearline, especially Annie. Ask yourself why....

to answer, a lot of you, even unconsciously, feel a lot more comfortable having a proximity to whiteness. i know mary isn't white per se, but she has a very very close proximity to whiteness that a lot of you feel comfortable with. you feel represented in her, in a way you cannot the visibly, dark skinned, black women.

[orchidsangel]

COWBOY ★ CARTER ★ TOURBOOK

[orchidsangel]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[orchidsangel]

[orchidsangel]

is there something that outlaws air conditioning in gyms? bc why is every single gym hot as the fucking desert

[orchidsangel]

please don’t spend your life convincing yourself that love or joy is reserved for the idealized version of you that only exists in the future

[orchidsangel]

not to be self-obsessed, but holy shit my face card is ridiculous lately.

[orchidsangel]

whenever a mutual doesn’t interact with me for a long time i get so scared they don’t wanna play dolls with me anymore

[orchidsangel]

I AM A LIBERAL BLACK WOMAN FROM NEW YORKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gun slinging conservative man liked me on hinge. almost crashed out.

[orchidsangel]

gun slinging conservative man liked me on hinge. almost crashed out.

[orchidsangel]

made a hinge profile...