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Spring wake 2024 arts

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I have a new theory which has resulted from me writing porn on my phone which im certain is old hat to everyone but is new to me

it kinda goes like this

basically, as a person or community writes a kinky story for longer, they will kind of inevitably move up a chain of 'paradigms of justification' required to make the kink continue to make sense.

the pace will vary depending on the kink, but motion is inevitable.

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so say you decide to write some rope bondage kink. as you continue to write, you are likely to progress through the stages as follows:

Stage 0 - Baseline: i am writing A tying up B, because i want to, A wants to, and B is into it (or isn't, depending on what kinda freak you are). Regular fic goes here.

Stage 1 - Psychological: Why is does A like tying up B? Why does B like being tied up? Normal character stuff. Not yet weird. You're still normal. If you mom found out you were writing this, she'd probably still love you.

Stage 2 - Logistical: How does A afford all those rope? Why hasn't B's hands fallen off from lack of circulation? Getting odd you'd write about this, but fair enough, real kinksters deal with this. You just like to pay attention to details.

Stage 3 - Sociological: You have written the kink long enough that you need it to be normalized in-universe in order to push the envelope. You need a Federal Department of Kinky Shit Why has nobody called the cops when B goes missing for three days due to the suspension bondage setup you researched for two hours last night? Did you just invent a law so its okay for A to tie up the pizza delivery guy? Why is it not a violation of the labour code that B spends all her time literally tied to her desk? This is where the descent into madness begins. You have total freedom now to introduce new characters, but they will probably end up being A-like and B-like because that's your kink and why you started writing in the first place. People laugh when they see the premise, but keep reading.

Stage 4 - Biological: Oh, now you fucked up. See, eventually, you're going to start wondering why the world is filled with people like A and B. You're going to need to answer definitively why B didn't fucking die when you accidentally wrote a poorly conceived stress position in chapter 2. You gotta answer why there's only like 1 A for every 10 Bs. You realize with horror you accidentally implied that shibari harnesses is literally a biological requirement for human reproduction. It's over for you. This is ABO with extra steps. Get thee to a nunnery.

Stage 5 - Synthesis: "Oh fuck, it all makes sense now." Terminal brain stoppage. Death would be a mercy. ---

The thing is, once you have progressed through these stages, you are going to skip ahead in future stories because, let's face it, its incredibly convenient to have these structures laid out for you. If you've gotten to Stage 3 in a previous fic and then start a new one, well, you could fuck around justifying what's going on, or you could simply bring back the Federal Department of Kinky Shit and jump straight to the silk cord. It's efficient and we're all busy people.

I ended up following this trajectory with my first set of Porn On Phone stories pretty closely:

Hot lady am sexy kidnaps!

But why am hot lady sexy kidnap?

How am hot lady afford lavish lifestyle for sexy kidnapee?

Why am nobody arrest hot lady for sexy kidnap?

am reason related to why am no men in stories?

characters am now exclaim 'judith christ!' when stub toe.

Terminal. Put me down like the dog I am.

But the dark realization I had, right about now, is that all the normie fics out there, all the boring straight stuff?

... yeah they're already at Stage 5. The straights are living at stage 5, patriarchy is their Federal Department of Kinky Shit, they believe in alphas and omegas already.

So, put that way, it's actually totally normal and okay to do this progression, right? Like, it's subversive. This is feminist! This is feminist! I scream, as I'm dragged into the van and driven down to the river to be drowned like an unwanted kitten. I'm the normal one! You're all mad!

anyway i started writing a star trek porn parody in an attempt to write 'normal' porn again, hit stage five within 3000 words, had a mental breakdown, and came here to write this.

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Absolutely love the vibes this guy is bringing to the table

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Because folks liked my latest pigeon comic so much, here's another pigeon piece!

I made this a couple years ago for a sadly now defunct publication called Pipe Wrench. I hope this piece helps spread more pigeon love.

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grocery store mission barely accomplished took massive damage to the hull and all internal systems. shield repair could take days

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hello teenagers.

high school especially post stranger-danger, No Child Left Behind, and columbine shares more with the prison system than it does with the workforce. you are being held against your will and everyone is lying to you constantly. you will survive, i believe it, because you are very powerful and righteous. ✌️but you have every right to be angry.

your parents used to be able to leave campus for their lunches, take life skills classes or trade classes, and smoke in school. you are locked in a room for your “safety”, monitored by camera 24/7, and expected to time your lives to an authoritarian regime or lose what small freedom you are allowed. that’s unconscionable. you are right to be angry.

i love you.

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Telephone Sheep by Jean Luc Cornec

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Look upon my beast who tries to bolt out the front door

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Happy birthday!! (Here’s a photo of the sturgeon touch tank at the Toledo zoo!)

STURGEON TOUCH TANK?????

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[Begin ID: "Gif of a red and white tabby having his tummy pet by a big hand" End ID]

hmmmm my tummied

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yayy!!! my bear from @bearhole arrived.... he's a cute tmasc bear tasked with guarding my houseplants :3 thanks for the little freebies!!! amazing work

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These beliefs are also often insanely contradictory? Like some of them are hardcore Christians… who also believe in space aliens. Or “higher dimensions”. It’s like a complete slop of the last ~100 years of conspiracy and wellness and spirituality have congealed into a gloop.

There is a huge chunk of them hellbent on “decoding” messages from “the globalists” in popular media and stuff because they believe the Devil is cosmically bound to reveal his evil plans, but in secret code. That’s why they’re obsessed with like… symbolism and pizza and rainbows and shit.

The Devil is part of it and there’s a huge emphasis on bringing about the Revelations Apocalypse death-cult stuff, but that also waxes and wanes?

Sometimes they want America destroyed in Hellfire and to be Raptured and sometimes they want to build a Shining City on a Hill. Sometimes one precedes the other.

They’re at war with the Devil but there is no agreement on what a win-state for that looks like. And they will sometimes flip flop between the two, often based on what sells more Products (tm).

It is brain-fryingly crazy cuckoo bananas.

Listen to QAA Podcast and Knowledge Fight if you’re curious about these freaks.

It will cook your mind to know where the rabbit hole of this ends, low key, and what they believe. And most of them aren’t this deep in. A lot just struggle with crazy cognitive dissonance every day. They get pulled in deeper trying to resolve the confusion and contradiction. It’s like a barbed porcupine quill.

IMO you can't say anything coherent about most US-based right wing conspiracy theories without understanding how seriously the diehards in these movements believe in The Devil

the obvious question, "who benefits from maintaining this elaborate lie," does not stop people like Flat Earthers because many of them are young earth creationists who believe in powerful spiritual forces whose only goals are

1. convincing people that Christianity isn't true

2. the proliferation of largely symbolic Evil, which they enjoy tricking you into supporting

"tricking" people into believing the earth is round is enough of a goal for The Devil to go to all that trouble. if people don't believe in God's perfect little flat earth then they're also free to believe in things like evolution and the big bang

practicality and material concerns are usually irrelevant. the lie is worth maintaining because The Devil has near unlimited time, resources, and human servants, and his top priority is Getting You

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why are bathroom sinks designed like that. infuriating

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people engage in a lot of magical thinking around the idea of "clout." "clout" as this continuously existing resource that can be expended on anything the clout-haver wants is a myth. you don't "have" clout, you make things people like or find interesting and they respond to it and that is the clout itself. a person with clout can't actively give that clout to another person by sharing a post for them or recommending their book or their album. they can give a boost to something that is already amazing on its own and help it find more appreciators, but they cant magically imbue something that isn't already good or interesting with any social cachet. most people who are repeatedly s-tier posters got that way for a reason. they might be total pieces of shit but they are good at posting. the audience and the followers and likes don't "belong" to the clout-haver, they dont do everything the poster says, they are their own people who form their own reactions to things and only consume a person's content because they are getting something out of it. usually that something is free posts they like looking at. and that's very hard to mobilize "liking looking at free posts" into any other action but consuming more posts.

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bought a big black umbrella recently and now every time i use it i think about "thought the cunt was turning into a bat"