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How To Be A Good Match For Your Partner

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Five Signs He Is The Right Man | Relationship Advice For Women When you are torn between choices of the right guy for you, there are some key things you must know. In this video i highlited those vital things you need or signs to look for to enable you choose the right man. In this video we cover this hot topics: #datingadviceforwomen #howmenthink #relationshipcoachforwomen #relationship advice for women I hope you will enjoy this video, please like and subscribe to our channel for more enlightening topics on life and relationships. Feel free to drop me a comment or your questions in the comment box and i will be very happy to answer you back. Inspired by: Mathew Boggs https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSNdh3JaCS6OqNyJqUWIs2w

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What You Can Do About SARS CORONAVIRUS Right Now - Sars Virus Natural Remedy Revealed!!!

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Over the last 50 years, chronic diseases like arthritis, diabetes, cancer, and heart disease have skyrocketed.

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In fact, recent discoveries found that supplementation with vitamin D can prevent and treat at least 17 types of cancers! That's the power of just one vitamin! Now, just imagine if you had a goldmine of effective alternative natural health remedies readily available anywhere and anytime… Click the link above for more info.

A new Chinese coronavirus, a cousin of the SARS virus, has infected hundreds since the outbreak began in Wuhan, China, in December. Scientist Leo Poon, who first decoded the virus, thinks it likely started in an animal and spread to humans. Leo Poon said "What we know is it causes pneumonia and then doesn't respond to antibiotic treatment, which is not surprising, but then in terms of mortality, SARS kills 10% of the individuals".

It's not clear how deadly the Wuhan coronavirus will be, but fatality rates are currently lower than both MERS and SARS. Experts stress that it will change as the outbreak develops. China confirms new coronavirus can spread between humans The World Health Organization offered guidance to countries on how they can prepare for it, including how to monitor for the sick and how to treat patients.

Here's what you should know about coronaviruses. What is a coronavirus? Coronaviruses are a large group of viruses that are common among animals. In rare cases, they are what scientists call zoonotic, meaning they can be transmitted from animals to humans, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Coronavirus symptoms.

The viruses can make people sick, usually with a mild to moderate upper respiratory tract illness, similar to a common cold. Coronavirus symptoms include a runny nose, cough, sore throat, possibly a headache and maybe a fever, which can last for a couple of days. For those with a weakened immune system, the elderly and the very young, there's a chance the virus could cause a lower, and much more serious, respiratory tract illness like a pneumonia or bronchitis. There are a handful of human coronaviruses that are known to be deadly.

Middle East respiratory syndrome, also known as the MERS virus, was first reported in the Middle East in 2012 and also causes respiratory problems, but those symptoms are much more severe. Three to four out of every 10 patients infected with MERS died, according to the CDC. Severe acute respiratory syndrome, also known as SARS, is the other coronavirus that can cause more severe symptoms.

First identified in the Guangdong province in southern China, according to the WHO, it causes respiratory problems but can also cause diarrhea, fatigue, shortness of breath, respiratory distress and kidney failure. Depending on the patient's age, the death rate with SARS ranged from 0-50% of the cases, with older people being the most vulnerable.

The Wuhan coronavirus is currently thought to be more mild than SARS and MERS and takes longer to develop symptoms. Patients to date have typically experienced a mild cough for a week followed by shortness of breath, causing them to visit the hospital, explains Peter Horby, professor of emerging infectious diseases and global health at the University of Oxford.

So far, around 15% to 20% of cases have become severe, requiring, for example, ventilation in the hospital. In this video you will learn about all these: 1. coronavirus transmission 2. coronavirus diagnosis 3. coronavirus in babies 4. coronavirus nl63 5. coronavirus dogs 6. coronavirus cats 7. coronavirus sars 8. human coronavirus 229e #SARScoronavirus #SarsVirus #wuhan This presentation contains images that were used under a Creative Commons License. Click here to see the full list of images and attributions: https://link.attribute.to/cc/680044

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izyXH8596uY Culled from: https://edition.cnn.com/2020/01/20/he...

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I’m Hotter than My Boyfriend and I Feel Like I’m Settling

I recently came across your article on what to do if you’re not super physically attracted to your boyfriend, and while I really appreciated the article, there was one thing you didn’t address–what to do if you not super attracted to them physically and are a lot more attractive than they are, but the compatibility is a 10.

My boyfriend relentlessly pursued me for a few months even after I kept telling him I wasn’t interested because he wasn’t my type. But as I got to know him, I realized he has the most incredible heart I’ve ever encountered, and understands me and treats me better than I’ve ever experienced. We started dating 7 months ago, and I’m the utter happiest I’ve ever been. He makes me laugh, takes care of me, and has even tried to take notice in styles that I like so he can dress better. I love him so much.

But as we start to talk about marriage and the future, and I KNOW our life would be wonderful and fulfilling, I can’t help but compare what he looks like to what I feel like I deserve.

I know you said a lot of people are delusional, but I am not. I would say that I am a 9 and he is around a 6, but he’s also just NOT my type so it makes it so difficult for me to feel attracted to him most days. He has lighter features, is balding, and is starting to get in shape but was previously very overweight. I want so badly to be more attracted to him.

I love him so, SO much and the thought of not moving forward towards marriage does not even compute in my brain most days because he’s my best friend in the world, but then other times I see people with the type of man I always longed for, and it aches my heart and makes me feel unsure.

What would you suggest?

Thanks so much, Justine

Summer, 2000. I’m out to dinner, in West Hollywood, with the most physically attractive woman I’ve ever dated. We’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend for a few months. She lives with her Mom an hour away and is currently unemployed. I’m a struggling writer with big ambitions and a desire to love and be loved. We’re lonely and dysfunctional but passionate.

As we look at the menu, we observe a Billy Joel/Christie Brinkley-type couple.

My girlfriend says “Oh, that’s just like us.”

You could hear the record scratch.

I think one of the hardest parts of life is deciding when to compromise and how much.

“Excuse me?” I said.

“Well, let’s face it, I’m a lot more attractive than you.”

I looked at her, dumbfounded.

I mean, I largely know where I stand on the looks continuum. If we’re being honest, she IS objectively more attractive than me. But really, who SAYS this stuff out loud?

Sorry, Justine, that was just my way of trying to identify with your story.

I’m not actually equating you with the worst of my ex-girlfriends.

I think one of the hardest parts of life is deciding when to compromise and how much.

I would only point out to you that you compromise on everything else without nearly as much agony.

Your job – too much work, not enough pay, long commute, glass ceiling, unappreciative bosses, annoying co-workers, lack of autonomy, too many meetings, too few vacations…

Your home – too small, too expensive, too far away from parks/malls/freeways/nature, not the best school district, high taxes, costly maintenance, no bathtub or guest room…

You get the point. Yet for some reason, we don’t really want to compromise on our spouse.

The whole point of Love U is to teach you what you should and should not compromise on so you can make a decision with the next forty years of your life that you can live with.

Listen, I don’t know you, nor your boyfriend, nor your relationship dynamic – I only know what you shared with me in a short email. So I won’t tell you what to do. I’ll ask you:

How many years did it take to find this man? “I realized he has the most incredible heart I’ve ever encountered, and understands me and treats me better than I’ve ever experienced. I’m the utter happiest I’ve ever been. He makes me laugh, takes care of me. I love him so much.”

Now calculate what would happen if you threw him back in the sea and tried to find someone JUST like him – just an 8 on your looks scale? How long do you think it would take to meet and marry that man. Well, given that you’ve NEVER done it before, it may be awhile.

And that’s the EXACT calculus I used when I was debating whether to get engaged to a woman who was 38 when I wanted to have two children. I told myself I could break up with her to try to find the 33-year-old version of her, or I could stick with what I got (because it was so hard to find) and take my chances.

11 years later, I very much made the right choice. When I look at what matters in marriage, it’s not whether my wife is hotter than others’ wives, it’s how we work as a couple.

If – despite his middling looks – he’s good, giving and game in bed, I would think long and hard about whether he’ll be that easy to replace. Chances are you can find a cuter guy, but can you find a BETTER one?

Good luck.

The post I’m Hotter than My Boyfriend and I Feel Like I’m Settling appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

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Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/im-hotter-than-my-boyfriend-and-i-feel-like-im-settling

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How to Let Go of Grudges and Negativity in Relationships

I remember just about every negative interaction I’ve ever had.

I remember my “closest” high school friends not inviting me to a New Years Eve party.

I remember my girlfriend insulting me in front of my mother on her birthday.

I remember the anti-Semitic email I received from some alt-right crazy.

I also remember the instances where I was at fault.

I remember turning on my nerdy best friend when I was trying to be cool in seventh grade.

I remember insulting another dating coach in a fit of arrogance.

I remember screaming at my two-year-old son and seeing the fear in his eyes.

Thousands of happy experiences have come and gone, but I have perfect recall of all the conflict I’ve ever been a part of.

This, by the way, is relatively common. 

We have negative run-ins and hold onto the feelings of the conflict way beyond the expected expiration date. The question is why? What do we stand to gain by turning people into the worst caricatures of themselves? Why not bury the past in the past?

Are people selfish? Sure. But most (not all) negative interactions can be ascribed to two people wanting different things and failing to communicate (or disengage) properly.

It’s not like we’re talking about the man who murdered your son; we’re generally talking about isolated incidents from years ago. Those incidents may have left scars but there is nothing redeeming about focusing on ones’ scars. You become an angry person, a bitter person, or worse, a victim, who sees the rest of the world as selfish people who are out to hurt you. The problem is that it’s not true. Are people selfish? Sure. But most (not all) negative interactions can be ascribed to two people wanting different things and failing to communicate (or disengage) properly.

Since this is a blog about dating and relationships, let’s think of all the past relationships where someone got hurt.

How do you get past that without carrying the anger around with you?

According to the article, full forgiveness has four actions. But before that, we need to recognize three things: 1. Forgiveness is for you, not the offender. 2. It’s best to do it now. 3. It’s about freeing yourself — forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to like what they did or become their friend.

From there, the first tactic is to calm yourself down in the moment. This can mean just taking a deep breath to collect yourself or going on a jog, but the idea is you want to slow down and collect yourself to create a little distance between what happened and how you’re going to react to it. “You have to counter-condition the stress response when it happens,” Dr. Luskin said.

Next, shift how you think and talk about the source of your grudge. “Change your story from that of a victim to a more heroic story,” Dr. Luskin said.

The final two pieces go hand-in-hand. Pay attention to the good things in your life “so you have an easy way to balance the harm,” Dr. Luskin said, then remind yourself of one simple truth: Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to. Combining those two ideas can “shift the ground, and it lowers very dramatically” your general level of stress. 

Amen.

I feel like an authority on this because of my natural personality: I am confident, I am opinionated, I’m not afraid of conflict, I’m introspective, and I have tried and failed a LOT.

In other words, I’ve had a lot more conflict and negative interactions than most normal humans who tend to be more conflict-averse.

After all that, I feel like I’ve arrived at largely the same conclusion as the article – I’m always going to try to listen, communicate, and do my best to own and repair things. And, at a certain point, if there are diminishing returns and little hope of resolution, I learn to let go – of exes, friends, contractors – anyone where the bad outweighs the good. And, for the most part, rather than talking shit about them, I write off the conflict as a function of difference and incompatibilities as opposed to character flaws. People who don’t like me aren’t wrong; they’re just not my people, that’s all.

That’s a valuable relationship philosophy that I teach in Love U: relationships should be easy. If they’re not easy, they’re not that good. Move on.

Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated.

The post How to Let Go of Grudges and Negativity in Relationships appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

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Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/letting-go/how-to-let-go-of-grudges-and-negativity-in-relationships

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What Makes a Man Want An Exclusive Relationship With You?

What makes a man want exclusivity with you? It’s a question burdening countless women.

Here is how it usually plays out. You’re seeing a guy that you really like. He seems to like you a lot too. You hang out often, you laugh, you connect … but you’re not an official couple. You try bringing it up to him, but he either changes the subject or gives you some excuse as to why he doesn’t want to be exclusive. You feel hurt and confused. It doesn’t make any sense, everything seems to be going so well, why doesn’t he want an exclusive relationship with you?

When you’re in it, it’s a painful question and the answer can seem hard to find. But it’s actually all pretty basic.

MORE: Major Signs He’ll Never Commit

So let’s look at exactly what it takes to make a guy want to be exclusive with you.

Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out once and for all if he likes you…

How often does he call and text? (Question 1 of 15)

Pretty much every day.

Two to three times a week.

Once a week, if even…

He hasn’t called or texted me yet.

Continue

This is What Makes a Man Want to Be Exclusive With You

It’s really all about your intention and overall demeanor. A lot of women have an agenda in their relationships. They date with a goal in mind. Rather than focusing on connecting with the person, they focus on reaching their goal. And then they’re baffled when the guy won’t commit in the way they want him to.

MORE: How to Make Him Commit and Want Only You

It’s about choosing him because of how amazing he is, not wanting to be with him because it will validate you in some way or because it will fulfill some unmet emotional need.

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Guy Talk: 10 Undeniable Signs a Man is Ready To Commit

Ask a Guy: When a Guy Withdraws…

How to Be a Good Girlfriend (And the Best He’s Ever Had!)

Original source: https://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/what-makes-a-man-want-exclusivity-exclusive-relationship-with-you/

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Is My Boyfriend Hypersensitive or Am I Too Insensitive?

We dated for 6 weeks and had a wonderful time. I noticed that he was very sensitive. He’s had a lot of emotional trauma in his life, there was abuse growing up, he had problems with authority, he acquiesced to his ex-wife all of the time and he said the single women at work were controlling so he doesn’t date them. One day I asked a question about the use of the word “minou” which is French for cat/kitten and also used as a term of endearment. I then joked that I could call him minou and starting saying the word as a joke, bit of overkill. He then got mad and said he didn’t like being called that.

About a week later I used it in a text message at the end of a sentence followed by a smiley face. He responded saying that it was “disturbing” to him that I used the word after he said he didn’t like it. Then proceeded to say that I’m controlling. I asked for examples of what I’ve said or done that is controlling so that I can modify this behaviour for the next guy I date. He said the way I speak sounds like it’s my way or the highway. I said just because I speak a certain way doesn’t mean it’s set in stone. I’m not the type who’s afraid to admit she’s wrong, I have no problems compromising, I can apologize and no BF has ever told me that I’m controlling.

He said that when someone asks him to stop something he does it and the fact I continued is indicative of a future behaviour pattern. He said we were getting along great but I didn’t let it go. All the good qualities I have and all of the good times we had together did not outweigh this one incident of teasing. As far as I know, most couples still tease or irk each other with something they know irritates their partner. Was this an over-reaction? I thought the adult conversation should have been something like this, “when you use that word, I feel teased. I was put down, humiliated and teased a lot growing up and I’m very sensitive to it. Could you mindful about this and I’ll be mindful not be so hyper sensitive.”

Am I way off base here? I was very upset.

Nora

I’m with you, Nora. 100%.

It’s not that I can’t empathize with highly sensitive people.

It’s that highly sensitive people expect the rest of the world to cater to their sensitivities and get upset when the rest of us fail to be as sensitive.

I can imagine how maddening it might be for this guy to feel that you’re OPENLY DEFYING HIS WISHES AND ACTIVELY TRYING TO HURT HIM – because that IS what he’s feeling.

But here’s the thing about feelings: they’re not facts. They’re not universal.

But here’s the thing about feelings: they’re not facts. They’re not universal.

And while everyone’s entitled to feel his/her feelings, such feelings don’t automatically override everyone else’s.

The current political correctness wars and cancel culture are a perfect example of this.

Should everyone strive to be more sensitive? Sure. Asians should be called Asian. If you have a different pronoun as a gender nonbinary person, your loved ones should endeavor to refer to you as you wish. But what we can’t do – what we have been doing – is having a zero-tolerance policy for decent people who fall short. That is unfair and short-sighted, as it demonizes your allies and lumps them in with your enemies.

You want to cancel Joe Biden? Stephen Colbert? Sam Harris? Do you really think that anyone who stumbles over the PC purity test or even has a contrarian point of view should be silenced and banished? If you feel that way, please, spare me the commentary below. This is not a safe space for you.

Everybody needs to learn to take a joke – yes, even historically oppressed minorities and hypersensitive people.

I am neurotic, intense, politically liberal, highly opinionated, frequently injured, and have a big nose and ears. I don’t have to love these characterizations but everyone I know and love can tease me about these things. I have no choice but to have a thick skin. The alternative is basically telling everyone to stop observing me objectively. You can say – in theory “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it,” but that’s not how the real world works.

Furthermore, there’s a big difference between saying something to be intentionally hurtful and something that is supposed to be funny or teasing. Friends/lovers/family can lovingly tease. YouTube comments? Not so much.

My wife and I once took friends to The Comedy Store in Hollywood. We had a great time. Our friends did not. Said one: “Why do comedians think it’s okay to make fun of people?”

My wife and I smiled and nodded – and never hung out with that couple again.

I’m not kidding. We take our laughter pretty seriously. Before our kids were born, my wife and I determined that we’d be fine if our kids weren’t gorgeous or brilliant or successful. All we wanted was kids with a sense of humor.

To have that sense of humor – the ability not just to tease others but to laugh at yourself – you need a deep foundation of unconditional love. We provide that for our children, just like our respective families provided that for us. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

We tease my temperamental son when he’s acting like Trump.

We tease my dreamy daughter when she’s off playing with her hair for hours.

We tease my wife when she is “as slow as a turtle with a parachute.”

And I better learn to play along when my kids pull my ears, honk my nose, and use, as a secret password “Daddy’s Big Belly!”

Listen, I’m sure there are some honorable dissenters who think that all teasing is inherently cruel, who believe that to make fun of someone is punching down, and that moral, sensitive people would never even make the justifications I’m making.

You’re certainly entitled to that opinion. But I don’t want to hang out with you.

You may be nice but you’re the death of laughter. I’d rather live in a world where we can joke about our foibles instead of pretending we have none.

And Nora, you should absolutely find yourself a boyfriend who can communicate his displeasure in the way you described in your last paragraph, rather than a guy who throws a hissy fit and acts like you’re some sort of monster for using a French word for cat.

I know another word for cat that is more appropriate.

P.S. A timely satirical video about cancel culture just popped up on the NYT today. 

The post Is My Boyfriend Hypersensitive or Am I Too Insensitive? appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

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Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/communication/is-my-boyfriend-hypersensitive-or-am-i-too-insensitive

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How to Compliment a Guy: Exactly What Men Want to Hear (With Examples!)

A lot of women are afraid to compliment men because they’ve been told that it’s unattractive to show too much interest.

This just isn’t true. If a guy likes a girl and she shows interest, that’s a good thing! That makes him happy and makes him want to take things further. What’s unattractive is a needy woman who bends over backward to please a guy and prove she’s worthy of his attention because she doesn’t feel good about herself and his approval will mean she’s “worthy.”

MORE: What Men Want to Hear From Women (But Would Never Admit) 

If you like a guy and are pretending to not be interested in order to get him to like you that just tells him you’re immature and he’ll probably lose interest real quick. Now at the same time, coming on too strong and not leaving him any room to pursue you can also be a bit much so don’t take things too far.

But compliments are great. They feel great. Just think about the last time someone paid you a genuine compliment. It’s an amazing feeling.

Read on for compliments that will really reach your man and make him feel good.

Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out once and for all if he likes you…

How often does he call and text? (Question 1 of 15)

Pretty much every day.

Two to three times a week.

Once a week, if even…

He hasn’t called or texted me yet.

Continue

Related posts:

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Original source: https://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/how-to-compliment-a-guy-exactly-what-men-want-to-hear-with-examples/

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How to Compliment a Guy: Exactly What Men Want to Hear (With Examples!) https://hotandsizzlingonline.com/how-to-compliment-a-guy-exactly-what-men-want-to-hear-with-examples/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-compliment-a-guy-exactly-what-men-want-to-hear-with-examples

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Why You Might Want to Stop Dating Your Type

In Love U, I have a saying: “Date your complement, not your clone.”

This is based on my observation that most of us seem to overvalue similarity – age, fitness, education, income, religion, politics – and undervalue things like kindness, communication, commitment, consistency and character.

Naturally, there’s more to the story, and this interesting (albeit dry) study shows that even more dangerous than trying to date the opposite sex version of yourself is dating the same person over and over in a different body.

In other words, we all have a “type.” For some, the type is physical.

In other words, we all have a “type.” For some, the type is physical. Some women prefer tall guys. Some gentlemen prefer blondes. That’s not that interesting. What is interesting is when you get into the ‘big 5′ personality traits: agreeableness, conscientiousness, extraversion, neuroticism, and openness to experience, it turns out that we really do have a kind of person that we’re inextricably drawn to.

In and of itself, that’s not a problem. But if you’re attracted to toxic narcissists, it is. If you’re attracted to damaged men, it is. If you’re attracted to avoidant, non-commital men, it is. Over half of my job is breaking women of their harmful relationship patterns and teaching them to value healthy, functional relationships.

Often that means dating against your type – going for a guy you’re less attracted to – because the ones you ARE attracted to tend to make for shitty partners.

Check out the study and please, share your thoughts below. Do you have a type? Were you able to break out of it and find something healthier like I did?

The post Why You Might Want to Stop Dating Your Type appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

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Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/why-you-might-want-to-stop-dating-your-type

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Why Do Men Get Serious So Fast?

In this age of all of these swiping apps, I feel like men are trying to jump into a serious relationship immediately. Sometimes without even having met me, or after one date they are acting like we’re in a serious relationship. If I try to slow things down a bit and get to know someone, it seems like they disappear if I’m not responding with the same level of intensity. I think my slowing things down to actually get to know a man feels like a rejection to him. I feel like another woman is just one swipe away so why try to get to know someone a little slowly if someone else will pick up the intensity right away?

I noted in my profile that I prefer to get to know someone a little slowly at the very beginning. Some guys seem to respect that and I’ve even had a phone conversation with one guy about it. I asked “why don’t people want to actually date at the beginning anymore”? He told me it’s the scarcity mentality and men feel like you’re just one swipe away from meeting someone else so they want to lock you down right away. He is an example of what I’m experiencing. We were trying to sync our schedules up and we decided to meet about a week and a half after our initial call. We had a few calls over a couple of days and fun banter back and forth on text. Then poof, he disappeared. We didn’t even get to the first date. Nothing awkward happened in any of the calls. My assumption is that he just met someone more interesting to him than me in the meantime. We’re the same age and he is not that good looking at all but not terrible either.

In the past I have jumped straight into relationships where I was in a serious relationship right away but then realized a few months in that I didn’t really know the person and then figured out that we were not compatible. It’s a little painful to extract myself from those situations so taking it a little slow is the way to go. Am I the only one who thinks this? How do you keep the interest going before you get to the date? What if you really have no idea how you feel about someone before you meet them and don’t feel super flirty on text?

Lisa

Great letter, Lisa. I agree with almost everything you wrote.

In fact, my dating philosophy is based on the principle you outlined in the last paragraph:

“Taking it a little slow is the way to go.”

That’s why month 2 of Love U goes from Staying Cool to Sex to Being Selective to Becoming Exclusive to Boyfriend Material, in that order. Better to spend a month evaluating whether a guy is worthy of commitment BEFORE he’s your boyfriend, not after.

Otherwise, there’ll be a lot of hooking up and breaking up with people you never should have hooked up with in the first place.

All you can do is continue to go at your pace and show them how to please you better.

So why do we act like this?

Chemistry – dopamine and serotonin are much more powerful than “let’s take it slow.”

Scarcity – “If I don’t act fast, this amazing man will be off the market quickly!”

Competition – “I’m aware you have other options so, quick, choose me before you explore them!”

That’s what you got right, Lisa. But observing this doesn’t fix the fact that most people are more driven by passion than logic when it comes to dating. I’m no different.

In 2000, I was head-over-heels for a woman on Match. Totally wanted her to be my girlfriend after one date. She told me she was happy being single and dating 5 other guys. Instead of shaming her for dating other men, pressuring her into committing against her will, or bailing because of my own insecurity, I tried something novel:

I told her that she should date whomever she wanted. But the next time she went out with another guy and discovered she had more fun with me, she should stop seeing that guy.

I think it took about two weeks for her to become my girlfriend.

(Sadly, this was my hottest/craziest relationship, but the courtship was kinda cute.)

Bringing this back to you, Lisa, with these aggressive men:

All you can do is continue to go at your pace and show them how to please you better.

The right guy will follow your lead. The wrong guy will throw a fit like a petulant child. It won’t take long to figure out which one is which.

Two other points which you may not have considered:

“I noted in my profile that I prefer to get to know someone a little slowly at the very beginning.”

Please don’t do this. I agree with you in principle, as I wrote above. That doesn’t mean you should advertise it. “Moving slowly” or “Friends first” is easily read as “I’m fearful. I have issues with trust and sex. You won’t get laid for at least a few months.” You can move slow, but don’t take away the thrill of the chase by explaining this in your profile.

“Men feel like you’re just one swipe away from meeting someone else so they want to lock you down right away.”

But couldn’t that just as easily be said about women? At least the first part? You’re giving men all the power in this equation but wouldn’t you say that an attractive woman who has hundreds of men swiping right on her maintains the greatest level of power? You may not like how quickly men pressure you into commitment, but every guy knows the experience of a woman who disappears because some other guy got there first.

The answer – as always – is more confidence that you have the right to pace things in a way that works for you AND men, more communication to show men how you prefer to be courted, and more empathy for why the opposite sex does what it does. There’s a reason that men push hard – and it’s not just to be annoying.

The post Why Do Men Get Serious So Fast? appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

Related posts:

How Many Common Interests Do I Need to Connect with a Guy?

Why Does The Woman I’m Seeing Want to “Take It Slow”?

I’d Rather Have Sex With My Cheating Ex Than With My Devoted Boyfriend

Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/understanding-men/why-do-men-get-serious-so-fast

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55 Love Text Messages to Make Him Smile and Get Him to Want You More

How can you get a guy to miss you and think about you and want you even more? With the texts you’ll find in this article!

Texting is our main mode of communication these days, and can really enhance a relationship when done right.

We get a ton of questions from women wondering why guys don’t text back, or why he disappeared, or why he stopped texting. The main thing you need to realize when it comes to men and texting is that men will pretty much always respond to texts that make them feel good. And conversely, he will avoid dealing with texts that feel bad.

MORE: How to Give Him Space So He Misses You And Comes Back

What’s the difference?

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Ugh, why are you so hot?” This makes him feel good.

“Why haven’t you replied to my last text? I saw that you were on Facebook earlier so you obviously saw it! This is unacceptable!” This makes him feel bad and he will push off dealing with it.

The texts in this article will make him smile and crave you.  Some will intrigue, some will make him laugh,  some will make him blush- but all of them will make him feel good and that is what will make him miss you and count the minutes until he can see you again.

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Does he spend time with you as often as he used to? (Question 1 of 15)

Yes, but he never seems to want to be there.

I don’t know. I’m so confused. I just want the spark back.

No, he never spends time with me. It’s like I don’t exist. He spends more time doing random things. Internet, friends, work, etc.

Yes, he used to do things I liked, but now he could care less.

Yes, he spends the same amount of time with me as he always has.

Continue

Related posts:

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How to Get a Guy to Text You Back: Exactly What To Do

How to Respond When Your Ex Texts You: The Perfect Response For Every Scenario

The True Reasons Guys Don’t Text Back (And What to Do When He Doesn’t)

Original source: https://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/texts-to-make-him-miss-you/

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55 Love Text Messages to Make Him Smile and Get Him to Want You More https://hotandsizzlingonline.com/55-love-text-messages-to-make-him-smile-and-get-him-to-want-you-more/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=55-love-text-messages-to-make-him-smile-and-get-him-to-want-you-more

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Getting Sexually Rejected Sucks for Men and Women

People want to be wanted.

It’s not terribly surprising, but this principle has a profound effect on our relationships.

“To get a peek into the bedrooms of 115 heterosexual couples (participants were aged between 19 and 64), Kiersten Dobson from the University of Western Ontario and colleagues asked them all to keep sex diaries. Every day for 3 weeks, both partners independently logged whether they or their partner had made a sexual advance, and if so, whether that led to sexual activity. They also recorded their daily levels of satisfaction with their sexual relationship, as well as their relationship generally, answering questions such as “How good is your relationship compared to most?”

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the researchers found that accepting a sexual advance, or having an advance accepted by the partner, resulted in an increase in both sexual and relationship satisfaction that day compared to other days. 

On the other hand, being rejected decreased sexual satisfaction. But intriguingly, if the participant themselves was the rejecter – that is, if they shunned an advance from their partner – their sexual satisfaction still increased. (Neither being rejected nor being the rejecter had any effect on general relationship satisfaction.)”

It’s not shocking that sex leads to mutual satisfaction.

It’s not shocking that being rejected decreases sexual satisfaction.

It is really shocking that people get a perverse thrill out of rejecting their partner.

It is really shocking that people get a perverse thrill out of rejecting their partner. Of course, that’s not what the study actually suggests:

“Rather than reflecting some pleasure derived from rejecting someone, the researchers suggest that being approached for sex leaves a person feeling desired, so enhances sexual satisfaction even when no actual sex ends up happening. The team found that the boost in satisfaction from having an advance accepted persisted for 24 hours, with the slump of being rejected lasting twice as long. And the gratification that came from being either an acceptor or a rejecter lasted a remarkable 72 hours. “

This paragraph effectively illustrates two issues that men and women fail to acknowledge about each other.

It’s really risky and scary for men to approach women. It’s debilitating to say hi to women and get ignored, buy drinks and get ignored, write to women online and get ignored, and make a first move and get rejected. Women don’t experience this nearly as much and, in my experience as a coach, tend to lack empathy and understanding for what men have to go through. Most of my clients want to quit online dating if some guy doesn’t write back.

Conversely, within a relationship (which is what this study is about), sexual rejection is really corrosive to both men and women. When the person who has chosen you seems actively disinterested in sex, it is hard not to internalize that. And it is not just women rejecting their horny husbands. Lots of women have boyfriends who criticize their bodies, prefer sleep, gaming or porn, and reject sexual advances outright.

It’s a bit of a trick to make someone you’ve been with for a long time feel desirable, but it’s vital to the health of the relationship. Sex with a monogamous partner will rarely feel “new” but it can – and should be – mutually satisfying, no matter how long you’re together.

Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated.

The post Getting Sexually Rejected Sucks for Men and Women appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

Related posts:

Can the Honeymoon Phase Last Forever?

Why Women Should Make Men Wait For Sex — Part II

69% of Men Get Rejected Before a First Date

Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/sex/getting-sexually-rejected-sucks-for-men-and-women

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All The Guys on Dating Apps Just Want to Get Laid. What Should I Do?

On one of your articles, you make the statement: “My wife and I ‘hung out’ once a week for four weeks at the beginning of our relationship. I didn’t take her on a traditional “date” for over a month. She never wanted to know where we were headed, never called me to check in, and never did anything except respond affirmatively when I reached out.”

Would you please mind elaborating on “hang out”? It may sound daft, but for those of us who struggle (especially in the NYC area) may I ask what you were doing when hanging out? Taking a walk in the park? Drinking coffee at Starbucks? At a bar with friends playing pool? Watching Netflix at each other’s house? The reason I ask this is because… well… sex. If you do not mind sharing how long did you and your wife wait to have sex until after the traditional dating occurred? I know it’s a rather personal question but it actually does matter and it is tied to “hanging out” from the average dater’s perspective.

Let me explain my experience and concern….for some people (and many men) who want to “Netflix and chill” they are sending the Tinder industry standard message that they want a “FWB.” Almost every time I have been asked for this the conversation quickly turns into “oh and you can stay over” and I quickly let them know that I am not interested in sex this soon and they quickly disappear, which is fine but also a waste of my time. (and this is on every platform – Luxy/Eharmony/Match/ Bumble/ Tinder….You get the point).

There is 1 single guy to 5 single women in NYC and when you stack the odds up to add in the age of a person it gets harder. Tinder is geared to play on the psychology of meeting men’s short term needs and in as such even if they are commitment minded they will always default to meet their short-term needs – it’s just how the psychology of human mating works. Now that being said, for many women who will not have sex until they are in a solid relationship – they may not feel comfortable with that or may feel pressured into sex when they are not ready for it with the “hang out” scenario.

It might be helpful to actually get some advice because many women could interpret this the wrong way. And it seems that as your wife seems to have taken the right path with a guy who was a (self-identified) serial dater and made it work – you said it not me – been reading your blogs for years, have all your books etc….

What might be an interesting experiment – is if you make a profile as a woman sometime and see how badly we get treated out there – no matter how great our pics are. No matter how good our profile is, no matter how laid back we appear – I think Tinder and Bumble are unfairly geared towards meeting the short-term mating cycle of men and of course if that is where all the men are the women will go there.

Catherine

Hoo-boy, Catherine. Strap yourself in, because we’re going for a ride!

Your friendly neighborhood dating coach is going to tackle everything you wrote – and, in the process, separate fact from fiction and logic from emotion – so that you can start to approach dating with a healthier and more effective mindset.

But first, let’s validate your experience. Yes, it’s a jungle out there. Yes, New York is unique. Yes, men look for sex. Yes, Tinder is not designed with women’s relationship needs in mind.

Yes, it’s a jungle out there. Yes, New York is unique. Yes, men look for sex.

However, that doesn’t mean everything you wrote is true, nor does it mean that there aren’t ways to date successfully in NYC.

Let’s address four misunderstandings that you and I seem to have up front:

The 1 single guy to 5 single women thing? Not true. Not even close. Please stop repeating it and believing in it. It’s unhealthy and disempowering, as if the universe was completely stacked against you. It’s not.

I have written repeatedly how dating apps are terrible because they bring out the instant gratification side of both men and women. On this, we agree.

I have written about how men look for sex and find love, and how women should make men wait for commitment before having sex. On this we agree.

I’ve written about someone who created a fake profile to see what women experience. And my TEDx talk referenced how terrible guys are at online dating and gives a screenshot of one poor clients’ inbox. The idea that, after 16 years of doing this, I don’t know what it’s like for women? C’mon, give me some credit.

So, let’s get this straight:

We agree that dating apps are shallow, awful for communication, and brings out the worst in men because it allows them to text incessantly, push for sex, and move onto the next woman without a second thought.

We agree that dating apps make for a terrible experience for women.

We agree that women should not have sex with a guy if they’re not comfortable with the status of their relationship.

You just want to know two things:

When I slept with my wife.

What to do in spite of the above.

Believe it or not, both questions have the same exact answer.

In Love U, I outline, step by step, how to break free from the tyranny of dating apps, texting, friends with benefits, and the sinking (and false) feeling that it’s impossible to meet a quality guy for a long-term relationship.

  Understand, a guy who is open to Netflix and chill is not necessarily averse to love. I know I wasn’t. It’s your job to suss out the players early on to see who’s serious about you. If you don’t know how to do that – or feel it’s impossible give the tools at your disposal – that’s what I’m here for during our weekly coaching calls.

As to when I slept with my wife, that’s a story I’ll tell you when we’re on the phone – not here in public. But I will tell you this: I was the one who held out, not her.

Hope to see you in class next week, Catherine.

The post All The Guys on Dating Apps Just Want to Get Laid. What Should I Do? appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

Related posts:

Why Dating Apps Are Bad For Your Love Life

Is Tinder THAT Bad?

The Best Dating Apps (with Charts!)

Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/all-the-guys-on-dating-apps-just-want-to-get-laid-what-should-i-do

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Why Progressive and Religious Marriages Are Similar – and Better – Than Others

I’m always wary of citing references that are openly conservative because of the inevitable internet backlash about bias.

Then again, I think it’s really important to do what most liberals don’t do: acknowledge that just because a conservative has an idea, it isn’t inherently wrong.

Enter Bradford Wilcox, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia.

Wilcox is – like me – pro-marriage. He comes at things from a religious angle. I come at them from a secular one. And while I can’t speak for Wilcox, I can assure you I am not anti-single or remotely judgmental of those who choose to fly solo in life. What I also know is that pretty much everyone is happier when they’re in love, which is why I remain a fierce advocate for making healthy long-term relationship choices.

Anyway, this New York Times piece proffers a different look at marriage and points out that traditional marriage is often more satisfying than egalitarian marriage. He starts off with the common assumption in our progressive society:

No one wants a world in which women are uneducated, lack choices and resources, and are stuck playing housewife against their will.

“A 2016 report from the Council on Contemporary Families suggested that in “today’s social climate, relationship quality and stability are generally highest” in more egalitarian relationships. The Bloomberg Opinion columnist Noah Smith has speculated that “maybe liberal morality is simply better adapted for creating stable two-parent families in a post-industrialized world.”

In theory, that sounds great. No one wants a world in which women are uneducated, lack choices and resources, and are stuck playing housewife against their will. What my fellow liberals rarely seem to acknowledge is that women and men are not the same and, therefore, don’t necessarily want the same things.

“The Pew Research Center reported in 2013 that about two-thirds of married mothers would prefer not to work full time — a fact that is often overlooked in our public conversation about work and family, which is heavily influenced by progressive assumptions. Anna says she is grateful that because Greg works hard at his small business, she has been able to make this choice.”

That describes my marriage entirely. My wife had the same job for 16 years and loved it. Then she got pregnant. She asked for a 3-month maternity leave. Then she asked for a 3-month extension. Then she told her boss she was going on “Eternity Leave.” That was 8 years ago. We are fortunate to be able to live on one income. But the point is that there are LOT of women – evidently 2/3rds of them – who would prefer not to be in the office for 40+ hours a week. A more traditional – some say “1950’s” marriage may be a better fit for those women based on their stated preferences.

That’s where religion comes in. As an atheist, I don’t like touting the virtues of religion at all. At the same time, Wilcox’s study shows that “feminism and faith both have high expectations of husbands and fathers, if for very different ideological reasons, and that both result in higher-quality marriages for women…

In fact, in listening to the happiest secular progressive wives and their religiously conservative counterparts, we noticed something they share in common: devoted family men. Both feminism and faith give family men a clear code: They are supposed to play a big role in their kids’ lives. Devoted dads are de rigueur in these two communities. And it shows: Both culturally progressive and religiously conservative fathers report high levels of paternal engagement.”

Makes sense to me. If the hallmarks of a good marriage are men who are sensitive to their wives’ emotional cues and help out with housework and childrearing, it doesn’t matter why they do it or what their religious/political leanings are.

Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated.

The post Why Progressive and Religious Marriages Are Similar – and Better – Than Others appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

Related posts:

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Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/understanding-men/why-progressive-and-religious-marriages-are-similar-and-better-than-others

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My Boyfriend Takes Boudoir Photos of Other Women and I’m Uncomfortable

My lovely boyfriend of one year, who showers me with love, takes boudoir photos on the side as a photographer. I wouldn’t think it that much of a problem (I’ve been reading your other posts on why men look at women), but what gets me here is that he has a pantyhose fetish. (Often, he seems obsessed with them). I can’t help but think this is just a little overstepping into inappropriate-land. I do trust him. Also though, I can’t help but imagine him getting very turned on by these photoshoots. I don’t want to be controlling. He’s been nothing but a wonderful boyfriend.

But, is his indulgence in these kinds of photoshoots healthy for us? Do I have anything to worry about if he has shown nothing but devotion to me?

Thank you, sincerely,

Claire

Thanks for your email, Claire. You referenced this post, “Why Men Look at Other Women,” and I thought it would be relevant supplementary reading.

What’s tricky about your question is that it’s very specific and doesn’t apply to any two people besides you and your boyfriend. That’s why it’s hard to extrapolate and tell you, with any amount of certainty, whether you have anything to worry about.

But I will tell you a not-so-secret secret about how I give advice.

When a reader (or a client) asks me about a problem she has with her boyfriend, I put myself in her boyfriend’s shoes and ask myself how I would feel if I were him.

It’s not that her feelings are irrelevant – far from it! It’s that she already knows how she feels. What she usually lacks is the imagination to consider how someone else might view the same exact situation. Every time I do this exercise – since I’m pretending to be me – I give the man the benefit of the doubt as an honest, ethical person – unless I’ve been given reasons to doubt his character.

Your situation is unique, but it’s no different.

It’s full trust or no trust.

If your boyfriend is a trustworthy guy, then you have to act under the assumption that, despite the erotic nature of his side-hustle, he’s being faithful to you.

If he’s not trustworthy (or you don’t believe him to be trustworthy), then he should no longer be your boyfriend.

If he’s not trustworthy (or you don’t believe him to be trustworthy), then he should no longer be your boyfriend.

Wherever you draw the line IS the line.

Is the stocking fetish weird? For a vanilla guy like me, yeah. In the pantheon of all fetishes, it seems like a relatively tame one that can be incorporated into your love life rather easily.

Is he getting turned on by the photoshoots? I hope so. He’s a human being with a sex drive chose a hobby that he presumably finds pleasurable. But there’s a HUGE difference between being turned on by a stranger and acting on it.

I find many strangers attractive. I’ve never acted on it because I value my wife and my word far more than I value a fling that would destroy my life. Most men in relationships, I would suspect, feel similarly.

The key for women, I think, is to not play thought police. It’s not a crime for a man to be turned on by other women, attracted to other women, or occasionally fantasizing (or masturbating) about other women. If that’s what you expect from men, you’re likely to be sorely disappointed.

But if you can see the sizable gap between thought and action, I believe you can have a healthy relationship with a lovely, devoted boudoir photographer.

  The post My Boyfriend Takes Boudoir Photos of Other Women and I’m Uncomfortable appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

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The Blind Spot In Rori Raye’s Circular Dating

I Cheated And I Regret It. How Long Do I Have to Pay the Price?

Original source: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/my-boyfriend-takes-boudoir-photos-of-other-women-and-im-uncomfortable

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