our-aplatonic-experience

[our-aplatonic-experience]

Aplatonic experience is not wanting to be rude to people when you help them out in a game they're new to and accepting their friend request, but then unfriending them after they go offline and hoping you don't run into them again just so you don't have to come up with a very bad lie on why you unfriended them 💔

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

My aplatonic experience is realizing I can say no to people. I don't need to force myself to make friends. I don't need to pretend to be someone's friend to please them. I don't need to accept the random friend requests I get after one convo with someone. I can say no. I don't need to keep pretending.

Its nice

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

@ the afamilial anon:

i just want to note: "aplatonic" doesn't mean "no friends". coming out as aplatonic doesn't mean "i don't want to be friends with anyone", it means "i don't experience platonic attraction". just like there's sex-favorable aces and romance-favorable aros, there's plato-favorable apls. additionally, not experiencing platonic attraction for others doesn't mean not caring about them, not wanting to be around them, etc. based on your phrasing ("coming out as saying 'we aren't actually friends and never will be'"), you seem to be taking the label of "aplatonic" not as a statement of lack of attraction (which doesn't [have to] mean anything about the kind of relationships you want or whether or not you care about the people around you), but as a statement of hostility/malice, or intentional deceit at the very least.

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

Hi. I'm afamilial, not aplatonic, and I'm having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around the idea of aplatonicism. I've seen many many posts from aplatonic people to the effect of "I came out to people I know and they took it badly", and I feel bad about this but I feel like that's a given whenever you're coming out as saying "we aren't actually friends and never will be"? I'm sorry if this is insensitive, genuinely, but I really really do want to try and understand aplatonicism more!!

i think that people who react like that dont truly understand aplatonicism. its simply a lack of attraction and maybe not wanting to be called friend. nothing changes when you find out someone is aplatonic. im not sure if i got my thoughts out right im not good at explaining things like this and if anyone else can do it better youre welcome to

[our-aplatonic-experience]

My aplatonic experience is being out as apl and STILL being called friend by some of those I'm out to (I'm eating a chair in my head)

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

you're kinder than i am because i would have deleted that ask so fast. not only are google and wikipedia right here, the word really isn't mysterious at all given that most tumblr queer people are at least somewhat familiar with asexual or aromantic as labels

i try so very hard to be nice

[our-aplatonic-experience]

What does aplatonic mean? ❤️

[our-aplatonic-experience]

Demiplatonic culture is simultaneously loving the "loner character slowly makes a friend" trope because "haha it's me" and also getting really frustrated with how it's portrayed as inevitable and necessary for the character to be happy. I just wish I could see a character who is fine by themselves and isn't lonely, who just happens to make a friend in their own time, not someone treated as incomplete and pressured into friendships by other characters because it'll fix them or something. If they find a meaningful friendship, great, but one where they don't have to be "convinced" and dragged into it, where it's acknowledged that they just need time because that's who they are and that's okay.

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

This is more of an ask but can someone use both the aplatonic label and the dark greyplatonic label? I feel platonic attraction so absolutely little that even if i'm okay with the dark greyplatonic label i think the aplatonic label will be best to explain to people

yeah if u want ofc

[our-aplatonic-experience]

I don't actually feel any kind of love except romantic. But, for me, aplatonic is an important term (rather than saying atertiary) because friendships are always expected and enforced in society, it seems. It's seen as almost sad when I say I don't have friends, but it's less strange to people if I don't experience alterous, familial, or sensual attraction to others and people see a lack of those attractions as more "normal" or at least less relevant to day-to-day experiences than friendships.

"I don't experience love for my family or attraction based on familial aspects." - Understandable. Not all of us are close with family. "I don't experience platonic attraction and I don't have friends at the moment." - That must be really lonely for you.

Hence the need to call my atertiary experience aplatonic and nothing else, because I want to emphasize that I don't fall into platonormative expectations and that there's nothing wrong with me.

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

I want friends, and I like having friends, but I don't really feel "love" for them. They care about me so I try to do the same things for them to show that I care, but I really don't. To me a friend is just someone you do cool stuff with and have good conversations with. But I can go months without seeing my friends and not miss them at all. I've never really cared that much when I lost a friend either.

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

My aplatonic experience is both not caring if my friends like me but also deeply caring if my friends like me

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

aplatonic (spectrum) culture is yearning for a life where you could love your friends/acquaintances with the intensity that you know they deserve

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

aplatonic culture is getting excited when aplatonicism is mentioned and getting dissapointed when its just "aplatonic people bad and weird"

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

Aplatonic culture is wondering why everyone wants to gravitate towards you and claim themselves as your friend. Like no you’re not, I barely like the people I do call friends, you’re nobody.

And the people I do call friends think the others are also my friends. No they’re not, they won’t stfu talking to me.

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

having EXTREME attachment issues and being demiplat (due to extreme trauma) whilst wanting to genuinely befriend someone again is genuine hell

i think "ohmygod i actually am experiencing platonic love again!!" and then it turns out its Not actual platonic love and i just put them on a pedestal and think of them as someone who can "do no wrong" and then they accidentally saY or do the wrong thing and suddenly theyre the devil's reincarnate and the worst person to ever exist and why did i ever try and befriend them i should just block them rn. and then they do smth right and its like Oh Ok. Yay

so like atp ive just accepted only 3 people will ever make me feel platonic attraction and one of them is my gf and the other 2 are my fps so thats ass ✌💔

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[our-aplatonic-experience]

When people tell me that platonic love is as strong as or stronger than romantic and familial love, I’m reminded that I can’t understand it. I’m fine with the fact that I don’t understand it, but remembering that I can’t is always an “…oh… right…” sort of awkward feeling.

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