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Every Christian is a Theologian

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15

This past weekend was such an interesting one but definitely one that helped me to understand why it is so important  to study the Bible and grow in knowledge of God. 

In my journey of growing with God and submitting my will to his, one of the areas that I’ve had to keep an eye on is my theology. 

Say what?!

As anyone who has interacted with me for a significant period of time knows, I love theology. I love learning about God and seeing His amazing beauty. But anyone who delves too much into theology is also tempted to fall into the sin of pride. 

“I know so much about God. I’m obviously saved.”

“I can tell you any fact you want to know about church history. Test me”

There is a lot of pride there and one that I continually have to check myself for. However, just because that temptation is there doesn’t mean I shouldn’t allow myself to grow in that area. And every good and proper Christian should continually grow in their knowledge of God. After all, Jesus said in Matthew 22:37 that “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Proper theology is expressed in understanding God and in fully putting that into place. That’s why James says that “faith without works is dead.” (James 2:17). James is saying that if you say you have faith but don’t put it into action, then you should ask yourself if you really have faith. Proper faith expresses itself in good works. 

Likewise, we need to properly know God in order to know who we serve. To use the analogy that every other pastor uses, when you fall in love with someone you desire to know everything about them. You want to know their favorite song, their favorite color, their favorite memory. You want to meet their family. You want to know what makes them come alive. You want to know what they love to do. Their favorite foods. Their favorite places to visit. If you don’t know that, can you really be in love with someone? I remember preparing for a first date once. I remembered that she loved the color yellow so I wore a yellow shirt. She remembered that i liked a certain hairstyle and she did her hair in that way. 

How much more attention should we pay to the God who created the universe? The loving Father who gave His only begotten Son and who has sent His Holy Spirit to live among us? We should be eager to know everything we can about Him. About His character and about His attributes. And the best way to find that out is to search through the way He has revealed Himself to us. The Holy Scriptures. 

This past weekend I saw someone post an old argument that was long refuted by the Church Fathers. They said that the Father was suffering on the cross. That is known as Patripassionism and was marked as a heresy. To state that the Father and the Son are so indistinguishable that they both suffered on the cross is to deny the Trinitarian nature of the Godhead. Although I’m not one to usually get into Facebook arguments, I went for this one since it was such a blatant disregard for the Trinity. Quickly I found myself surrounded by verses taken out of context. Of notable remark was one person who said that they weren’t a theologian but they just felt this way. 

At that moment, I had to pause. WHAT?!?! 

EVERY Christian should be a theologian and IS a theologian regardless of how they feel. When we make a statement about God, we are saying it because of some study of Scripture we’ve come to. 

What amazed me more though was that this person very confidently said “I have no Scripture to back it up but...” This was upsetting to me. If you study Church history, you’ll find out how many people lost their lives in order to make sure that the common people had access to the Scriptures. Look at the lives of William Tyndale and John Rogers. Men who were so convinced that the laypeople needed the Scriptures that they gave their lives to this cause. We in America are so privileged to have so many version of the Bible that we forget the price that some paid in order for us to have access to them. As Christians who have their roots (in one way or another) from the Reformation, we MUST read the Scriptures. We MUST search diligently and make sure that we present ourselves approved before God. The Old and New Testaments are God’s words to His people. To make an assertion about God without basing it on Scripture is like saying “I haven’t asked my significant other about this, but I’m pretty sure they would like this” even though they have said what they like already. 

As I’ve mentioned to people before, I think that one of the greatest tragedies of Protestants is that we don’t know our Church history. We either don’t care to know or our leaders don’t care to teach us. In that area, I would say that the Roman Catholics have us beat. They know their history. They know their councils and creeds and confessions. And when they argue with a Protestant, they’ll usually have the upper hand in that sense. We have lost sense of our history. But we need to know our catechisms, creeds and confessions. We need to know why we believe what we do. Why we believe in grace alone, in faith alone, in Scripture alone, in Christ alone. 

We need to show ourselves as workers approved. If we don’t know the Scriptures, we won’t know how to defend ourselves against the world and against any heresies that come our way. Theology is important. At times it may feel easier to say “All I need is Jesus” and while that’s true, we need to know what Jesus we need. What Jesus are we depending on? As Paul told Timothy, we must do our best to show ourselves as workers approved. We can only love God as much as we know Him. 

This post is going a bit long so next time I’ll talk about the other part of my weekend which included going to a Kingdom Hall meeting with Jehovah’s Witnesses and which affirmed my need to fully understand Jesus and the Scriptures. 

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1st Semester Reflections

“And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” ‘ Job 1:21

As I approach the ending of my first semester at Western, I’ve been reflecting on life these past few months. A couple of years ago I remember feeling upset with life. I was still at Starbucks and it felt like life was going nowhere. I was venting to a friend of mine who then said, “You keep feeling frustrated, and you also keep talking about going to seminary. Why don’t you just go now?” It kickstarted a process that led me to researching seminaries and applying and finally getting accepted to Western Seminary. 

Three months ago I loaded everything I owned into my car and with Juli at my side and a wallet full of gas money we started the long trek from San Diego to Portland. I was excited to finally move to Portland and be studying something that I loved dearly. Life was good. 

Over the next few months it seemed like everything began to fall apart. The first challenge I dealt with was with finances.  I had come to Portland with ample savings. Unfortunately it took me a lot longer than expected to find a job. In the meantime there were several costs associated with moving that drained my resources. I needed to buy new groceries to start cooking. I needed a bed and a desk and other furniture. I needed to buy books for school, etc etc. At times the fear about my finances became crippling. I would lie awake for hours at night in bed trying to figure out what I could do. The future seemed bleak. 

The second challenge I dealt with was that I lost my car. I got into a car accident and it seemed like the damage was mostly repairable. But then I went to take it in and it would cost almost 4 grand to fix it. My insurance wouldn’t cover it. Plus when we talked about the damage, the guy said it could be more but this was just what he saw firsthand. On top of that I wasn’t sure if I would need to replace the transmission which is another 5 thousand at least. It didn’t seem worth it so I had to sell the car. I quickly learned how to use the MAX. So now on top of finances being stretched thin, I had no car. 

The third challenge was that my relationship ended. It was unexpected and came out of nowhere. My heart broke. 

And yet in the midst of all this I had peace. Even as my heart was troubled, there was an undercurrent of peace. One of the last words that my ex spoke to me still resounds to this day.

“Have you considered that this could be a spiritual attack by the enemy? It certainly feels like it”

As I thought on her words, it all started to make sense. I had briefly considered it before but had quickly dismissed it. I wasn’t important enough to the enemy for him to consider me. I didn’t matter. All I was doing was going to seminary. 

But then I realized that was another lie. I did matter. Even if all I was doing was going to seminary, I was still going there for the purpose of equipping myself to better handle the Word. I was surrounding myself by people who would help me stay on track with my beliefs. 

Just as quickly as I discerned the spiritual attack, I also felt like Jesus swooped into action. The financial situation was a repeated attack. I have felt it so many times over the past few years. Not enough income, roommates that ducked out on rent, etc etc. God reminded me that He had been with me through it all and had always provided. I knew that no matter what, God would provide somehow. 

The car situation also got resolved quickly. My parents brought up a new car which I loved. New car, new beginnings. 

I’m still working through the relationship issues but I know that God is still sovereign over that. 

As I have continued to trust in God day by day, He brought to mind the story of Job. Job lost everything he held dear. Yet it wasn’t because he had sinned or wasn’t following God in the way he should have. The Bible states that Job was one of the most righteous men to ever live. Yet Job was put to the test because the enemy wanted to prove that Job would falter under duress and God knew he wouldn’t. 

In the same way the story of Job has come to resonate strongly with me. I lost the savings I had brought with me, I lost the car I loved dearly, I lost the relationship which I held most precious to my heart. Yet in all this I know that the Lord is sovereign and He has not allowed any harm to come to me that would destroy me completely. I trust in His perfection knowing that nothing has happened without His approval. If He has seen that it is a good thing for me to go through these trials, who am I to argue? 

Three months ago I would have told you that I felt very confident in what God was doing. Over the past few months that confidence has come and gone. 

“What if this is God’s way of telling me I should have stayed in San Diego?”

“What if I am being disobedient by staying in Portland?”

“Maybe seminary wasn’t meant for me”

And yet in the midst of all that I know that is not how God works. Even when we go outside of the will of God, He brings us back with gentle correction. As I go into winter break, I am trusting that Yahweh has my back. He has allowed these tests and trials to come so that my faith in Him may be strengthened. And strengthened it has. I believe that my God will carry me through the trials and tribulations. He gives and He takes away. Already He has blessed me with a job and a manager who likes me. He has blessed me with a new car. I know that He will continue to be at my side. 

The enemy has tried to distract me from my purpose. As they say in the gaming world, “If you are going somewhere and see enemies, that means you’re heading in the right direction.” Even as Satan tries to discourage me, I shall trust in the name of the Lord. 

Blessed be the name of the Lord. 

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Latin@s and the Reformation

A couple of weeks ago I had the chance to get lunch with my Greek professor. As we were talking, I told him of my journey in discovering Church history and how stumbling across theologians like Luther, Calvin, Edwards, Piper, etc. etc., really shifted my theological framework. It gave me a more historic and full sense of my Protestant faith. As I read books and commentaries, I could see the ways in which those saints who came before me made the Gospel fresh and were used in mighty ways by God to illuminate His Truth. My professor then asked me why I thought so few Latino/as held onto Reformed theology. I told him I would think about it and get back to him. 

As I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks, a few thoughts came to mind. The first and probably most important reason is that, in a sense, the Reformation never reached Latin America. Tenochtitlan fell to Cortes in 1521, the same year that Luther was officially excommunicated from the Church. Since the conquistadores were all of the Catholic faith, that is what they spread into the Meso-American civilizations. Sailing alongside the conquistadores, the priests of the Catholic church quickly got to work in Christianizing the natives. The British empire which would be the cause of the spread of Protestantism across the globe wouldn’t officially separate from the Catholic church for another 13 years when Henry VIII started the Church of England. At this time, the Roman Catholic faith was pretty much the official religion of all of Europe. With no other competing faith, and with stronger military might, Catholicism spread throughout Latin America as the conquistadores conquered more and more land. As a result, most natives and the countries that would arise in the next few centuries were influenced by the Catholic faith. 

The second reason is that due to the overwhelming influence of the Catholic church, Protestant groups rarely had any success in Latin America. After the many revolts and rebellions which liberated the countries from Spain and Portugal, Protestant groups started coming back in. However, due to their rejection of Catholic dogmas, as well as strict rules regarding smoking and drinking, these groups were seen as outsiders by Latin Americans in many places. It wouldn’t be until after the Azusa Street Revival that many Latino/as who had been there would return to their home countries with Pentecostalism as their cry. Pentecostal missionaries flooded into Latin America and the movement quickly spread, especially among people of the lower class. Since the Pentecostal movement had no tangible ties to the Reformation, many of the missionaries who carried it with them also didn’t bring the history of the Protestant faith with them. All they knew was that God was doing a new thing in their days. 

The third problem that I see with why  Reformed theology hasn’t taken off in Latin America is that in a sense, a lot of it feels intellectual. That’s not a bad thing. I’m just saying that sometimes it feels that to understand Reformed theology, you have to buy a lot of books and spend time reading these men and listening to sermons. Pentecostalism was a big hit among the poor and marginalized in Latin America. There’s a good chance that a lot of them couldn’t read or needed to work a lot to survive. I know that people will probably argue and say that “Preach from the Bible and you’ll get Reformed theology” but at the same time I cannot emphasize how much time I’ve had to spend on the internet and reading books and talking with people to understand some of the finer details. The Pentecostal movement said “This is what the Spirit is doing. Anyone can receive the gifts and minister to those around them.” What could be more appealing to a simple laborer than the open invitation that they too could be a witness with nothing more than a Bible on hand?

The fourth and final issue I would bring up is an issue that I’ve talked about before with other mediums. There is no Latino/a representation. If you make a list of Reformed preachers that you should read/listen to it will most likely include Luther, Calvin, Edwards, Owens, Whitefield, Spurgeon, Lloyd-Jones, MacArthur, Sproul, and Piper. All white men. One could also say that Thabiti Anyabwile and Voddie Bauchman have also influenced Reformed thought among African-Americans. But where are the Latino theologians? There is nothing wrong with reading these men, and I say this as someone who has read a good portion of these authors and been built up and edified by them. But in a sense these are men who are also speaking the Gospel truth to their culture and to their times. What would it look like for a Latino theologian to talk about the sovereignty of God to a Latino/a audience whose history involves oppression and whose present includes a desire by a nation to keep them out? Calvin talks about submitting to the authorities that God has put in place but what does that look like to an immigrant who is fleeing a war torn country? Why should I care about church politics that happened half a century ago on a different continent? As much as I disagree with the Catholic church on different issues, one could admire the way that they try to mix their dogmas with the culture they come across. For many Mexicans, La Virgen de Guadalupe is a cultural/national treasure. It represents the Virgin showing up to Juan Diego and speaking in his native language. La Virgen is practically synonymous with the Mexican identity. She didn’t show up speaking English or Latin. She showed up speaking Nahuatl. And yet, when you come to Reformed Theology it comes to you in a European language. It comes to you as a set of principles of worship that were decided a long time ago in a different cultural context. The challenge to Reformed theology is how can it adapt to different cultural contexts. The stoic song singing of traditional Protestant churches won’t hold much sway among a culture where emotions are worn on your sleeves. You can pretty much always tell how a Latino/a feels by how they look when you walk up to them. We push deep into our emotions. Times of rejoicing call for songs of loudest praise while times of lament call for deep and introspective songs. On top of that you have the desire to integrate our cultural background into Christianity. What does it look like to adapt hymns to a more rhythmic style such as bachata, cumbia, or merengue? Can you imagine singing A Mighty Fortress while being led by a mariachi band? 

This isn’t meant to be a discouragement. I think Reformed theology and Latin America can definitely get along. Total depravity? Just look at about any Latin-American government and people will know what you’re talking about. God’s sovereignty over every aspect of creation? Latino/as are the first to abrogate any phrase with “Si Dios permite” (If God allows it). We are notorious for holding on to a view that things happen cause God allowed it. Irresistible grace? Go up to any praying mother who is constantly interceding for her wayward children to come back to God. 

At it’s core I think Reformed theology would do a lot of good to many Latino/as. It would give them the sense of historic continuation that the Catholic church can give to its members. It would help build them up in spreading the Word to those around them. But at the same time, it needs to start spreading outside of a European-centric identity. It’s time for a generation of Latino/a theologians to arise and challenge the preconceived notions of Reformed theology while still holding on to its central tenets. 

Soli deo gloria.

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Suffering as a Christian

“Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” Job 2:13

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of pastors and “theologians” making the claim that God never intended for us to suffer. If we merely decree and declare victory over our circumstances, we should be able to move through life effortlessly. This is a horrible distortion of Scripture. 

These preachers will claim that one only has to look at stories of people like Abraham or the words God gave to the Israelites to see that God wants to bless His people. They conveniently ignore the rest of Scripture. Abraham was blessed that is true. But how many other people in the Bible were blessed and yet went through hardships? Hebrews 11 gives us a rundown of all these people who trusted in God and yet paid the price through suffering and trials, even to the point of giving up their lives? Starting from Abel, we see a list of people who put their faith in God and yet lost it all. Abel lost his life. Job, the most faithful man on the earth lost his possessions and his family. The prophets and judges who walked with God were scorned by the rest of the world yet they trusted in the name of God. Hebrews 11 points us to the ultimate representative of our faith. Jesus Christ. The Son of God himself. He fulfilled the law perfectly and never sinned, yet He too was killed like a common criminal. 

If you look at the Bible, there is a common theme of suffering that invades every page. And why shouldn’t it? Genesis shows us that Adam and Eve sinned and brought a curse upon the world. We must now toil to earn our keep. Men break their backs and women go through pain in childbirth. In agony we are born and in agony we die. Suffering is a part of life. Genesis begins it and it is only until the book of Revelations that it ends. Christ returns, judges the world, establishes the new heavens and earth and brings us true peace. But until then, suffering is a part of our world. 

1 Corinthians 15:26 tells us that “the last enemy to be destroyed is death”. I remember a couple of months ago, standing before the coffin where my grandmother lay. The evidence of the curse was before me. Death still had that claim on us. Yet, at the same time, death didn’t have the final word. I can trust that my grandmother will one day be resurrected in a glorified body. 

Death is a part of life. A couple of years ago, a friend of mine had her fiancee pass away in a car crash. The shadow of death loomed large. It was in those moments where I would talk with her that I had to trust the gospel was enough. The curse stood before us, yet the hope of the Gospel needed to shine brighter. 

In the few months since I have come to Portland, I have learned so much about suffering. More than I wanted to know. Finances, broken relationships, lost possessions. They have been a daily reminder that we still live in a broken world. And as much as I would love to decree and declare a word of victory and trust that I will wake up tomorrow with a brand new car in my driveway, that’s not how the world works. I know I have victory in Christ. But He never promised earthly security. He promised me an eternal security which I know is much greater. 

Everytime I see those preachers talking about how God wants to bless us, I think about the apostles themselves. If there was anybody God would want to bless, it was the men who walked with Christ and shared the gospel. Yet, except for John, all of these men died agonizing deaths. They were crucified, they were beheaded, they were flayed alive, they were stoned. As Voddie Baucham says “And oh by the way, if God would crush and kill His perfect, spotless, sinless Son, who do you think you are?”

This is the beauty of the Gospel however. When I look at the life of Jesus, I see the life of one who suffered and knows my sufferings. He knows my temptations and trials because He too went through them. When I look at the lives of the apostles, I find comfort. These men followed Christ with all their heart and yet they never owned mansions. They never had great possessions. Rather they trusted that their greatest treasure was Christ himself. 

As I have been blessed with these dark providences and see how God has been at work in my life, I am glad that He is not a God who rewards faith with material blessings. Because if He was, I would be like  those people who followed Christ to receive healing and miracles only. Rather, as God brings me through trials, I rejoice that He is drawing me closer to Him. He is breaking down my self-sufficiency and showing me that He is enough even when I may not believe it. He is the God who walks with me through my suffering and brings me through it for His greater glory. 

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Pentecostals and Latino/a identity

It is a common thing I deal with. I tell somebody that I’m Mexican-American and they’ll start the interrogation. Where are your parents from? What music do you listen to? Was your upbringing like this or like this? Is it true that...? Can you speak Spanish? Say something!

A lot of times I tend to leave people disappointed. Yes I can speak Spanish and obviously I know Selana songs (and not Selena Gomez!). But after that the conversation fizzles out. For there are a few  factors that really change the way my religious identity intersects with my ethnic identity. The first is that in addition to the fact that I was born in California, my parents are from Tijuana, a border town. So 1) I tend to identify with my American heritage a lot more. I grew up watching Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. I grew up surrounded by the sounds of Britney Spears and boy bands. In high school I was surrounded by emo/scene kids. Add to that the fact that my parents are from Tijuana means I have never ventured past Rosarito in terms of going to Mexico. I had a Polish girlfriend in high school who literally saw more of Mexico in one summer than I have in my lifetime. My extended family is in Tijuana so there is little reason to go past there. 

The third and biggest way that my upbringing really influenced my Latino identity is that I was born into a Pentecostal family. For that, I continually give God thanks that He allowed me to be born into a family where the Gospel message was the core of our identity. But at the same time it alienated me from the rest of my Latino/a community. 

I remember as a kid a bunch of my friends would talk about their first communion. When I asked my mom about it, she said it was something Catholics did but we didn’t. I was satisfied with that answer and wore it as a badge of honor. I was special. I was different. 

And that was what set the Pentecostals apart. The Pentecostals emerged from the Holiness movement which in turn came from the Methodist movement. From their roots in the Holiness movement came the idea that the Christian must be set apart from the world. No drinking, dancing, cussing, gambling, etc. In Central and South America this creates a sharp distinction between Pentecostals and Catholics. Pentecostals set themselves apart from the world. They reject secular music and secular traditions in order to remain holy for God. 

It was into this tradition that I was born. Growing up I only listened to Christian music. My t.v. watching was carefully monitored. Anything that had to do with Eastern religions was seen as suspicious. As such, I had limited exposure to the traditional Mexican culture. I knew who Vicente Fernandez and Walter Mercado and Los Tigres Del Norte were because of their popularity, but to this day I can’t really tell you much more than that. Celebrating the Day of the Dead was definitely off limits because we worshiped a God of the living. 

My experience growing up as a Latino was one that few share. When I meet other Latino and non-Latino Pentecostals there is a shared experience there. Veggie Tales? Yep! Going on weekend retreats where the teachers taught us from the Bible with finger puppets and mimes and felt? Yep! Going to church at least 3-4 times a week? Yep!

My religious identity has shaped my ethnic identity. Growing up it was easy to discard my ethnic identity. I went to a church where everybody was Latino/a so it didn’t really matter how that experience played out in the real world. I grew up believing that Jesus was coming soon to take us all to heaven so we needed to keep ourselves pure and holy. 

Yet in some ways, there is a bit of lamentation when it comes to reflecting on my ethnic identity. There is so much about being a Mexican-American that one only learns when you are immersed with others who have the same experience even if they may not have the same religious background. It was in college that I learned the depths of injustices that Mexicans and Mexican-Americans suffered under the U.S. It was in college that I learned how God can use our identity to reach the world around us. It was in college that I truly learned to accept the way that God had created me. 

This post has probably been a mix of thoughts so I apologize for that. I don’t even think I fully got into what I wanted to get into but that might take forever. Suffice to say that growing up as a Latino Pentecostal, my view on the world is different than someone who grew up as a Catholic Latino. If you ask me what I think about politics in Mexico, I’ll look at you with a blank face. If you try to talk to me about soccer I’ll tell you about the time I didn’t get called back to play soccer after winter break. 

Talk to me about theology. Ask me about how I think the gospel can further permeate Latino/a culture. Ask me what are the spiritual needs of the Latino/a community. That’s what I know. And that’s ok with me. I may not be the most Mexican person out there but I don’t mind. True, at times it causes a rift between me and those around me or between me and generations that came before me, but that’s my tension to live in. For now I’m content to follow Christ and proclaim the Gospel as someone who is a Mexican-American and lives in that hyphen in between. 

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Luther

With this being the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation, everybody and their momma is putting out articles on the five solas, TULIP, Luther, Calvin and all other things Reformation related. Learning so much history has given me a greater appreciation for the legacy that we have inherited. 

When Luther nailed his copy of the 95 Theses to the door of the Wittenberg church, he could have never predicted how the echoes of his hammer would resonate throughout Europe, changing both religious and secular history forever. 

Born in 1483, Luther studied to become a lawyer. As he studied the use of reason, he felt that it didn’t satisfy his desire to know more of God. He believed that reason could be used to question men and institutions, but not God. God could only be revealed through divine inspiration which is what led him to rely on the Scriptures. 

Caught in a terrible storm in 1505, Luther cried out to St. Anna, promising that if he survived the storm, he would become a monk. He kept his vow and joined the Augustinian order. As a monk, Luther was constantly in anxiety over his sins. At one point, he spent six hours confessing his sins to his superior, Johann von Staupitz who encouraged him to focus on the merits of Christ, rather than his sins. Staupitz wanted Luther to see that true repentance comes from a change of heart rather than rituals. 

In 1507, Luther was ordained to the priesthood. During his first Mass as he held the elements of the bread and wine and prepared for the Communion, he froze. The thought that he, a sinner, was holding the body of Christ terrified him. He felt unworthy to lay unclean hands upon a holy God. 

By 1512, Luther was awarded his Doctor of Theology and inherited the chair of theology from Staupitz at the University of Wittenberg. Throughout the next few years, he continued to struggle with the idea of how sinful man could truly stand before a holy God. 

In 1517, Johann Tetzel, a Dominican friar, showed up in Wittenberg to sell indulgences. Purchasing an indulgence would both contribute to the funds to help build St. Peter’s Basilica and would grant the buyer a shortened time in Purgatory for either themselves or somebody else. Luther, who disagreed with the idea that anybody besides God could grant forgiveness posted his theses on the door of the Wittenberg church, inviting people to debate with him and possibly to clear up the manner for him. The date of this was October 31, 1517. Luther had no intention of splitting off from the Catholic church and starting his own church. He wanted clarification on the manner and to get to the heart of the issue. 

The theses got into the hands of the people however. What was meant to be a purely ecclesial matter, started to become a social one. The theses had been printed in 1517 in Germany. By January 1518, several friends had translated them from the scholarly Latin in which they were written into the common German tongue. Within two weeks they had spread throughout Germany. Within two months, they had reached all of Europe. The flames of the Reformation had been lit ablaze and nobody would be able to put them out. 

Luther had mailed a copy of his theses to his Archbishop who checked them for heresy and then passed them along to Pope Leo X. In October of 1518, Luther was summoned to the Imperial Diet where he defended his views. For speaking out against the church, Luther was branded an enemy of the pope.

The Catholic theologian Johann Eck wanted to expose Luther’s theology. In the summer of 1519, the two men debated vigorously. Luther believed that the foundation of the church mentioned in Matthew 16:18 was Christ. Christ himself was the rock and foundation of the church. Luther was accused of being a Hussite, a follower of John Huss who had existed a century earlier. Huss had also spoken out against abuses in the church and was burned at stake. Although Luther denied the charge, after further review, he conceded that he agreed with Huss on many points. These debates with Eck boiled down to whether or not the Pope had sole authority over how to interpret Scripture. Luther asserted that neither Pope nor council were infallible and had contradicted themselves many times in the past. 

It was during this time that Martin Luther also had his famous “tower experience”. Still agonizing over his sins and how he could stand before God, he was stuck on Romans 1:17 which read “For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith as it is written ‘The righteous shall live by faith’”. As Luther struggled with this passage, he felt a light go off in his head. The righteousness of Christ was not merely infused into the believer allowing them to do the works necessary to have good standing before God. Rather, the righteousness of Christ was imputed to the believer giving them standing before God on the basis of the works of Christ. This was the birth of sola fide, by faith alone. We can stand assured before God of our justification by faith in Christ and the imputation of his righteousness to us. Faith was a gift given freely by God. 

In the summer of 1520, Pope Leo X issued an edict regarding Luther. 41 of his teachings were seen as heretical. Luther had 60 days to recant them or he would be excommunicated. In December, Luther burned the papal bull that had been issued to him and a month later, he was excommunicated from the Catholic church. According to history, Luther should have gathered his followers around him, they would have created their own separate community and with time, they would have faded out of existence. Yet God had other plans for this German monk. 

Luther was ordered to appear at the Diet of Worms. He went with the protection of Frederick of Saxony. Eck placed Luther’s books in front of him and asked him if he was the author of these books and if he was willing to recant. Luther admitted to being the author and asked for some time to answer the second question. He was given 24 hours. 

The next day Luther showed up and gave his famous speech where he said “Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Scriptures or by clear reason (for I do not trust either in the pope or in councils alone, since it is well known that they have often erred and contradicted themselves), I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted and my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and will not recant anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience. May God help me. Amen.” Some writings also insert “Here I stand. I can do no other” before “May God help me”. 

This was too much for the Catholic church. An order was issued that anybody could kill Luther without any kind of prosecution. Frederick III hid Luther at Wartburg castle and for a year, Luther translated the New Testament from Greek into German. During this time the fires of the Reformation had swept across Europe. Several groups saw this as a call to radical action and they began to arm themselves and to incite rebellion. This brought Luther out of hiding and through his writings he condemned the rebels. Luther believed that one should still submit to the government put in place by God. He believed the Word itself would be enough to bring about change. As Luther himself said “I simply taught, preached, and wrote God’s Word; otherwise I did nothing. And while I slept … the Word so greatly weakened the papacy that no prince or emperor ever inflicted such losses upon it. I did nothing; the Word did everything.”

During this time as Scripture became interpreted into the common language and the writings of Luther spread throughout Europe, many monks and nuns were leaving their former positions. Rejecting the idea that one needed to be celibate to serve before God, Luther helped many of these former clergy to marry. He himself however, refrained from marrying. He barely took care of himself and he lived as though every day might be his last. However one nun, Katharina von Bora refused to marry any other man except for Luther himself. He relented and the two married in a ceremony. 

In organizing the church for those who had left Catholicism, Luther adopted the model they all knew, that of the Mass. However he stripped it down to the bare necessities. All could partake of the elements of Communion. Luther wanted every city to have their own church with their own appointed leaders and pastors. He did not want to replicate the hierarchy of the Catholic church. Luther established a German catechism during this time. During this time, Luther had also started to clash with some of the other Reformers who had sprung up. In 1529, he debated with Ulrich Zwingli about the Real Presence of Christ in the Lord’s Supper. Although Luther rejected transubstantiation, he believed that Christ was “in, under, and above” the elements while Zwingli believed that the Lord’s Supper was merely a way to remember the sacrifice of Christ. In later years, John Calvin would try to reconcile the two views by stating that the believer, through the power of the Holy Spirit, is carried to heaven where they partake of the blood and flesh of Christ in a spiritual manner. 

All these years of debate and strife had left his body ravaged. In 1546, Luther fell ill and lay on his deathbed. Luther was asked if he stood by the doctrines that he had taught. He affirmed that he did. On February 18, 1546, Luther breathed his last and passed into the glory of God. 

Although Luther was a powerful man who was used by God to bring His church back to truth, we cannot overlook the fact that Luther was just a man. And like any other man, Luther carried the effects of sin within him. The most well-known charge is that Luther was anti-Semitic. On one hand, one could almost excuse it on the charge that most of Christendom was anti-Semitic in that day. But we must also recognize that all of us are accountable for our own sins. Just as we can hold the Puritans accountable for their owning of slaves, we must also hold Luther accountable for his anti-Semitism. We acknowledge that racism is a sin. Luther stands accountable before God for that. Likewise, when Philip I wanted to marry one of his wife’s lady-in-waiting, Luther didn’t speak out and implicitly gave his permission. For that too, Luther will stand before God. 

Yet, these charges alone cannot make us dismiss the work that Luther did. If God only used perfect men to carry His message, we would only have the story of Jesus. Yet there are many men in the Bible who sinned and were used by God. Abraham and Jacob were polygamists yet God made a covenant and established Israel through them. Moses, like Luther, could also be hot-headed, killing the Egyptian and later striking the rock. Yet Scripture states that there has never been a prophet like Moses. David was an adulterer, a murderer, and a terrible father, yet God called him a man after his own heart and established his lineage as the one through whom the Messiah would come. Peter was a coward, fleeing when Jesus was arrested and later denying Jesus, yet he became the first among equals within the apostles. Paul was a murderer of Christians, yet God used him to become his mouthpiece. We can honor Luther without celebrating everything he did. Although Luther never explicitly stated the five solas, it is through his work that they were established. His work on the righteousness of Christ being imputed to us gave us the ideals of sola fide and sola gratia. We are saved purely by the grace of God through faith in Christ. His insistence as Scripture as the ultimate authority even above Pope and council gave us sola scriptura. Luther’s belief that we stand before God based on one mediator gave us solus Christus. And of course, as Luther fought against the Catholic church, he did it all so that God’s glory could be fully proclaimed, soli deo gloria.  As Protestants, we believe that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ, based on Scripture alone and all to the glory of God. 

There is no doubt that Luther was a controversial figure. If you have ever read his writings you can tell he was hot-headed insulting his enemies with sharp wit. Yet, it was this hot-headed German monk that God used in a powerful manner. As David Mathis said “Luther was a pioneer, hacking his way through centuries of superstitious brush with an apostolic machete,” and the other Reformers used more precise surgical tools. Luther had the unenviable task of standing up the church and the pope and calling them back to the Word of God. 

In this we can see that God will always preserve His word until the end of time. Luther did not stand alone nor was he the first to call for reform. Wycliffe, Huss, Waldo and others had also called for reform within the church. Even within the ranks of those who stayed within the Catholic church, such as Aquinas and Erasmus, we see the desire to bring about change. Luther was merely the instrument that God chose to use at that time to bring about change. I’m sure that Luther never expected for things to turn out the way they did. He was merely a monk who was trying to bring about change to the Church that he loved. Yet God used him in a powerful way. 

My prayer for all those who read this is that we may always stand ready to defend doctrine from those who might twist Scriptures to their own end and that we may always recognize where sin lies within our own hearts. May we always submit to the will of God in all things. 

Soli deo gloria and ecclesia reformanda semper reformanda.

To God alone be the glory and the church reformed, always reforming.  

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Sola Scriptura

Sola Scriptura is one of the 5 solas that most Protestants hold on to whether they know it or not. Alongside sola fide and sola gratia, it was one of the points of contention that Luther had with the Roman Catholic church. Luther believed that the Church had given too much power to the Pope and tradition. Despite popular belief, Luther wasn’t the first person to do it. Waldo, Wycliffe, Huss, and many others had felt drawn to go back to Scripture alone to see how God spoke to his people. 

But what exactly does it mean to follow sola scriptura? Sola Scriptura at its heart means that we follow Scripture alone when it comes to defining what the Christian believes. Protestants believe that Scripture holds everything that one needs to know in order to be saved and in order to grow in their relationship with God. Scripture alone is our authority. Scripture alone is what we go to when we need to figure out how to deal with an aspect of life. Scripture alone is the inspired and inerrant word of God. 

However, sola scriptura does NOT mean that we reject other kinds of authority. A healthy view of sola scriptura means that we also look to the creeds, confessions and catechisms that other Christians have created. Although many people would reject this as a form of sola scriptura, it is not so. Sola scriptura means that although we believe and recite the creeds and confessions, they ultimately derive their authority from Scripture alone. If any part of them can be rejected by Scripture, that part must be thrown away. Nuda scriptura is the term for those who would reject anything else. 

As I mentioned before, we believe that Scripture is the inspired AND inerrant word of God himself. That means no contradiction exists even when it may seem that way. Scripture interprets Scripture. So if something seems problematic we must look to the Scriptures themselves to see how it should be interpreted. If we believe in an all powerful God, we must believe that this God cannot contradict himself. As Paul said, all Scripture is useful for teaching, reproof, correction and righteousness. God has given us His own word in the Scriptures that we hold. If we want to hear God, we merely have to open our Bible! 

Sola Scriptura is such an amazing doctrine! It assures us that we have the very words of God recorded down. The triune God has spoken to us and has recorded his words down! Every time we open our Bibles, the living and true God speaks directly to us through his word. 

There are a few things I would like to address before I finish up this short piece. The first is that, as I mentioned before, sola scriptura does not mean that we negate the councils, creeds, confessions and catechisms that have come before us. As long as whatever is contained in them can be validated by Scripture, we can trust in them and use them as tools to help us grow in our faith. Scripture is the ULTIMATE authority but not the only authority. We have generations of Christians who have come before us who can speak into our life circumstances. Just like the Bereans in the book of Acts, we must look to Scripture to make sure everything holds up. 

Likewise, we must understand that the Scriptures are the scriptures because they witness to themselves not because we have decided that they are scriptures. This is a bit confusing so let me expand on it. Scripture is inspired by the Holy Spirit. As Peter said, all the prophets spoke as they were carried by the Holy Spirit. It is never a man made thing. The prophets and authors of the Holy Scripture spoke because they were inspired by God. Therefore we can say that the church never chose the canon. God preserved his word and made sure that it was recorded. The canon is the canon because Scripture testifies to itself about it being the word of God. This might sound circular and perhaps it is, but ultimately we appeal to Scripture alone to prove itself. And proven itself it has time and time again. 

As we approach the 500th anniversary of the Reformation I will ask you to really think about how you approach Scripture when you read it. Do you see it as merely a task that you have to do daily? Or do you approach it as the living word of the God who created the universe. The word of the God who gave his only Son so that all who might believe might not perish but have everlasting life. Sola Scriptura testifies to itself. When we read the Bible, we are reading the words of God himself. This is so humbling and yet amazing. The God who created all things has recorded his word to us so that we might read it daily. 

[out-of-egypt-blog]

Waves

My girlfriend told me it would come in waves. She unfortunately, speaks from experience. She says that some days you’ll wake up feeling fine and then, out of nowhere, you’re a mess. She told me that the best thing to do was to get through each moment and just try to get through it day by day. 

I woke up feeling fine yesterday. I drove to work with my biggest concern being, telling my manager I needed to take two days off during my last week there. I sat down at the front desk ready to greet any members who came through the door. Then it came. 

A sadness washed over me. A wave of grief that knocked me down. The tears just started coming down at the front desk. It felt like a dam had burst inside me and there was nothing I could do except to let it flow. I did my best to slow it down as I greeted members. They didn’t need the awkwardness of wondering why the bearded man at the front desk was crying. 

I can’t even say what specifically triggered it. One moment, I was joking with my coworker that I was just going to stare at the eclipse and the next, my eyes were filled with water. 

My lunch break was early. I went to Taco Bell since I hadn’t had the chance to cook any food. On the way, I played on repeat Andy Mineo’s “Death has Died”. I wept in my car as I reflected on the way that Adam’s curse had finally struck home. When I got back, I sat in my car for a  bit, thinking about how glorious the day will be when we can sing that death has finally died. 

I went inside and started to eat my lunch. I took one bite of my taco and had to stop. I realized I didn’t really feel hungry. And as I stared at the taco, I had one thought. “She’s never going to eat another taco again”. I had to leave the branch. I went to this area behind the branch and just sat there openly weeping. At that point, I didn’t really care who passed by. I started thinking about the next day, when her body would be there for viewing. It would be her body, but it wouldn’t be her. Not really. 

Juli called me. She spoke with me and gave me advice. She cheered me up. As I went back to work, I still felt this sadness. For the rest of the day, the sadness permeated everything. When the eclipse passed by, the sky got a little bit darker and the world looked strange. When grief passed through, it felt like everything was tinged with it. 

I got through the rest of the day and went home to sleep for several hours. I got up and packed. I played Civ 5. I hung out with Juli. I ate. I watched Netflix. Juli was right. It was all about getting through the day. 

A while ago, I had told Juli that I had never had anybody close to me pass away. 

I wish that were still true. 

[out-of-egypt-blog]

The Lord’s Supper

A few weeks ago, at Ethnos, we partook of Communion together. Without intent to dishonor the act of partaking in the Lord’s Supper together, I would have to say that the majority of the time, I take it and remember the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross when He reconciled us to God. I remember the last words that He gave to the disciples and to the glorious victory he had over Satan at the cross. 

However, this time something was different. This time as I reflected on the cross and my own sinful nature, I looked outward instead of inward. Instead of looking to my own sin and how Christ redeemed me, I looked towards all of those around me who were walking forward to receive the body and blood of Christ. In those few minutes, I felt like I experienced a cosmic view of what was happening. 

No longer were these people just people sitting around me. No. All of a sudden these were people who each had their own story of their walk with God. Each individual was someone who had experienced highs and lows in their spiritual journey. Someone whom God cared for and loved so deeply that He sent His only begotten Son to die for them. This was the body of Christ with whom I would be worshiping alongside, for all of eternity. These were the redeemed. They were the people from every tribe and tongue and nation. (Which can be very literal at Ethnos) Those who had once walked as enemies of the cross, yet now bowed before the wonder of God. These were my brothers and sisters. All of us walked in rebellion at one point or another. Yet, all of us had been justified and sanctified by Christ. All of us had our own story of how God continually works in our lives. And all of us will be worshiping for eternity at the great throne room of the Father. 

In that moment I felt so overwhelmed by the majesty of God. How, despite our sinful and prideful attempts to be our own gods, Jehovah stepped in and said “Here is my Son. Here is the Lamb who takes away the sins of the world”. Jesus came down as a human and suffered for us. He endured the mockery and shame of the cross for love. Love for us! And not just merely those who were physically worshiping next to me. But every single Christian who declares that Christ is their Lord all around the world. From the smallest church in San Diego to the ends of the earth in South America and Asia and Europe and Africa and Australia, there were brothers and sisters partaking in the Lord’s Supper alongside me. All of us who have been redeemed by the blood. And that is something that is truly awe-inspiring. To God alone be the glory

[out-of-egypt-blog]

The Cloud of Many Witnesses

As a child, I remember being very confused by the history of the church. Mostly because, I knew none. I knew that Jesus had lived, died, and resurrected. I knew that the apostles were sent out into every corner of the earth. I knew that we served God and prayed for the return of Jesus. But I would be confused as to how we got here. What happened in between?!?!?!  How did we get from the apostolic age to the current generation of the Catholic church, the Orthodox church, and the Protestant churches. 

I remember studying some history in middle school. They taught us about the Great Schism that divided the Western and Eastern churches. We went a bit into the Protestant Reformation which changed the course of European history. It was through this that I was like “Well, I guess I fall under the Protestant category?” I knew for sure that I was a Pentecostal, but I had no idea of where that fell into, in the larger scheme of stuff. 

In the second half of my time at UCSD, I started to dig deeper into Reformed Theology. This was theology that came from the teachings of the Reformers. There was something amazing about learning of these teachers of the faith. People who had written books and sermons that had impacted generations upon generations. From people like Luther, Calvin, Owens, Baxter, Edwards, and Wesley, to others like Piper, Keller, Packer, Pink, and Tozer. People who not only looked forward to the coming Kingdom of Christ, but also looked back at the teachings and traditions of those who came before.  This instilled a great love for Scripture and tradition in me. Always ask questions. Always seek to learn more. Always bring it back to Christ. 

Over time, I sought to learn more. Who influenced the Reformers? The Protestant branch split off from the Catholic church. What teachers did they have? If the Reformers had their origins in the Catholic church, could I not also lay claim to the writings of those early church fathers? And so, I learned about Augustine first. (Obviously). Then I started reading about Polycarp and Irenaeus and Jerome and Clement. The people who succeeded the apostles and learned at their feet! The unique challenges they had in forming and shaping Church doctrines and creeds. 

It’s been amazing to see how deep and intricate the Christian faith is! As I’ve been delving into Church history, it is humbling to think of all those who came before me and all those who will come after me. To think that my story is merely one link in a long chain of witnesses that extends back to the disciples who saw the risen Christ. As I go along in life, witnessing and speaking of the Gospel, I am following in the footsteps of Jerome and Polycarp and John Calvin and Jonathan Edwards and John Piper. I am a witness to the risen Christ! What greater honor is there than this? As I run the race, I am surrounded by the cloud of many witnesses as the author of Hebrews says. That, just as every true and faithful Christian has done before me, I look to Jesus, the founder and finisher of my faith. The head of the church body of which I am a part of. 

I believe that another added benefit of looking to the past while praying for the future is that you have a strong tradition upon which to rest. Your beliefs aren’t merely isolated beliefs that sprung up out of nowhere. No. You have the witness and testimony of those who came before you. Through tradition, and ultimately looking to the Scriptures, it helps every believer root out heresies that might infiltrate the Church. We can root out the Marcion’s and Rob Bell’s that try to bring in teachings that are anti-Biblical and un-Biblical. We can learn to discern if a new movement is truly from God, or merely a man-centered doctrine. That is amazing. It brings that passage from Hebrews to greater life. We run the race surrounded by generations of those who have come before us. We can rest assured knowing that we are not the first Christians to have to deal with a specific problem. No matter where you fall in the doctrinal spectrum, it is amazing to think that there is a cloud of witnesses that have come before and left us with a great and rich faith. We are truly one body that will one day be reunited with Christ as a whole. 

I have more to write, but I’ll save that for a second part. :) 

[out-of-egypt-blog]

The Least Among You

“The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.” Leviticus 19:34

Throughout the Scriptures, we see dozens of instances where God commands His people to treat the strangers residing amongst them with love and care, or where we see non-Israelites playing the central role in Biblical stories. In fact, the lineage of Jesus has four women who were foreigners; Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba. One of the main themes that we see in the Bible is that of sojourners passing through strange lands. Abraham was a stranger in the lands he travelled through. The Israelites were strangers in Egypt. David was a stranger in Canaanite lands while he awaited the throne. Throughout the exile, the Jewish people struggled to reclaim their homeland. Joseph and Mary had to travel to another city when Jesus was born and shortly after became foreigners in Egypt. This theme resounds clearly with the writers of the New Testament as they shared how the heroes of the faith knew that they were strangers passing through a foreign land.(Hebrews 11:13). 

The Bible is clear in how we are to treat the foreigners among us. We are to welcome them and love them as ourselves. In the Leviticus text I started with, Jehovah was reminding the Israelites that not too long ago, they too were foreigners in a strange land. In fact, when the brothers and family of Joseph came to Egypt, escaping a famine, the Pharaoh of that time welcomed them with open arms. The act of welcoming strangers was seen as a virtue. How many times did people in the Old Testament welcome in strangers and fed them, not knowing that they were angels in disguise? Or in some cases, manifestations of God Himself? God wanted the Israelites to remember that they had once been welcomed into a foreign land themselves. He wanted them to remember that He was a God who cared about those who couldn’t take care of themselves, or those who were outcasts of society. Deuteronomy 10:19 repeats the same verse saying “And you are to love those who are foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt.” 

These verses that call us to care for the stranger among us need to be remembered today. For all my Christian brothers and sisters who are praising President Trump’s order to ban Muslims from entering the country, I urge you to remember the words that God Himself declared. We are to love the foreigners among us. How can we claim to love God when we don’t love His creation? Every single human is created in the imago dei. The image of God. Just because they might believe something different from us or come from a different culture doesn’t excuse the fact that we are called to show proper respect to the image bearers of God. These are real men and women who are fleeing difficult situations in their homelands. Yet many Christians are hardening their hearts against these situations. They are not showing love for their fellow human beings. Many of these American Christians who have taken up the slogan of “All Lives Matter” are now ignoring their own statements and deciding that the lives of these refugees don’t matter as much anymore. 

John 13:34 tell us "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” The words of Jesus Christ Himself. We are called to love one  another. In fact, Jesus takes it one step further in Matthew 5:44 where he says “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Love is the commandment that we have been given. We are to love these foreigners. We  are to take them into our homes and into our lives and live out our lives with them. 

A majority of the people fleeing from these countries in the Middle East aren’t just leaving because they feel like it. Have you ever thought about the resources that it would take to pack up your entire life, and go to another country where you don’t know the language, where you have no family, where the culture is completely different from yours? Many of these people are refugees who are being forced to relocate due to war or famine, or a number of other reasons. These are the people that need the Gospel. That need to hear the good news of Jesus. That one day, war and strife will end and peace will rule over all. That there is a God who hears their cries and who loves them. That there is an international family of saints who are committed to caring for one another and walking with each other in good times and bad times. We cannot be followers of Christ if we turn our faces away from those in need. Jesus says “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35) That is how the world will know that we are Christians. It’s not by wearing crosses around our necks or putting fish stickers on our bumpers. It’s by the way that we love those around us. It’s by the way we make the Gospel real in our every day lives. The message of the Gospel is that there is freedom in Jesus. That despite the hardships of the world and the atrocities committed every day, King Jesus will one day rule in entirety over the heavens and the earth. In the Kingdom of God, there is peace and freedom. We must make that a reality in our day to day lives. Yes, we are called to proclaim the Gospel. We are called to tell those around us that there is a God who sits on the throne and rules over all. We are called to proclaim the reality of the cross. To urge repentance and show forgiveness. But we are also called to live out the Gospel in our daily lives. To bring hope to the hopeless, to release the captives and set the oppressed free. To love the image bearers of God wherever they are. Let us not harden our hearts against the plight of our fellow human beings. After all, someday we’ll be worshipping with a multitude from every nation, tribe, and tongue for all of eternity. Why not set the wheels in motion for that to be a reality now?

[out-of-egypt-blog]

Imago Dei

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,  I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

A few years ago, I remember my friend Amy spoke these words. I forgot what the conversation was about, but she quoted this Psalm. It’s stuck with me ever since. This past week, I’ve been reflecting on the worth of a person. Specifically the worth of men. 

I’ve always found it interesting how men’s conferences or sermons that are guided toward men tend to focus on the man as a leader. The anointed man. What it means to be a manly man. Rise up and lead. Take charge. They focus on the role of a man in relation to the world around him. But how many focus on the intrinsic worth and beauty of a man. Does it sound weird to say that? Maybe. 

But I think it’s important for men to be reminded and to remind each other that they are worth something in God’s eyes. That they too, are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image. That despite what the media says is the standard of beauty (handsome?) for a man, they are fearfully and wonderfully made and crafted by the Creator of the Universe. 

I’ve struggled with this in two ways. The first, more obvious way, is my body. Like every single human in the world, I’m not always pleased by how I look. 

“Why can’t I be taller?”

“Why can’t I be thinner?”

“Why can’t I have bulging muscles?

“Why do these Hot Cheetos continually tempt me and keep me from that six pack?” 

You get the drift. There is a standard that is shown that I do not measure up to. I will never be on the CW for example. But that doesn’t make my body be worth any less. That doesn’t mean that I am worth less than Stephen Amell (current Green Arrow). Both of us were made by God. Both of us carry the image of God in us. 

As I’ve thought about my body, there are definitely factors I could work on. Spend less time watching Netflix. Running more. Stop going to McDonalds for every meal. And I’ve got to say, that I’ve definitely started working on that. Making my body healthier. But it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t love the body that God gave me. It was a gift from Him!!! 

The second way I’ve struggled with intrinsic self worth is in terms of how others have viewed me. In the past few months, I’ve struggled with losing community and in the midst of that, also hearing of things spoken against me. It has caused moments of shame. Moments where all of a sudden, I feel unworthy. Less than other people. Unworthy to be in their presence as they retreated. When you feel excluded from a group, it’s not a pretty feeling. You start to question who you are. 

“Am I really as good as I think I am?”

“What is wrong with me that people don’t want to hang out with me?” As I’ve been wrestling with these thoughts, I have been reminded by the people around me to drown out the lies of the enemy and focus on the truths of God. In my alone time, I have meditated on Scripture and Christian authors. When these doubts about my worth start to sink in, I turn back to Scripture. The absolute truth of God speaks out to me. 

“Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:31

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.” Isaiah 43:4

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1st Samuel 16:7

My soul has been strengthened over and over again by these words of encouragement. No matter what man says about me, in God’s eyes I am loved. I am valued. I have worth before Him. 

I don’t know how many men have heard this messaged repeated to them. But you, as a man, are beautiful in God’s sight. You have worth. God lovingly crafted you and made you just the way He wanted you to turn out. You have worth in His eyes. When the world turns its back on you, God still loves you and cares about you. 

I’m sure that many of us will struggle with this over and over again. But each time, remember these words;

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made”

[out-of-egypt-blog]

Loving God in Prosperity

“Trials making me grow, so I’m starting to like them” -Stephen Brindle

The other day I came to an interesting conclusion. It’s a million times easier to follow Christ through suffering. It may not always feel that way, especially when part of the suffering may involve faith feeling diminished in the Creator. At the same time however, there is something beautiful about the way that struggles and trials force you to depend so deeply and intimately with the Father. There is a special connection that grows between one and Christ, when Christ is the only Rock upon which one can lean on. All of a sudden, the pleasures of the world have no meaning. That which we used to derive our meaning from is gone. The core of our world’s identity is shaken and at the end of it all, all that is left is Christ. Thus begins a season, a journey, in which one undertakes every aspect of life with only Christ to walk with you. Every single despair is brought immediately to Jesus. And though the solution may not be present right away, one’s faith starts to build up to the point where someone can rest knowing God is carrying their burden. Every moment of happiness points to God’s redeeming grace and the promise that a new life is just around the corner. Moments of loneliness and despair lead to a deeper prayer life with the only One who is eternally present by our side. Moments with friends and family serve to remind us that God has not left us alone when it comes to companionship. The journey through the valley of the shadow of death is hard. It is difficult and intense. You WILL break down and cry. You will have moments where it seems that you’ll never get out. Where it may feel like your life journey ends in that valley. And yet, it’s in the valley that one’s faith is forged. It is in the valley where all the inconsequential parts of faith that may be hindering you in your walk are stripped away. They are cast away and a pure faith starts emerging. 

The Psalmist said it well in Psalm 23 “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for you are with me.” God is with us. He does not leave us alone. He has promised that He will be with us until the very end. At Starbucks, when we’ve gone through a rough morning where the customers are never ending, and you run out of everything, and nobody gets a break for hours, and it feels like it’ll never stop, there’s a sort of camaraderie that develops with the people that worked that shift together. When it’s all over, we can relax as we put the store back together. We talk about how crazy the morning was. We laugh at anybody who started work after the rush and starts complaining about how tired they are. We went through craziness together so it bonds us in a weird way. In a similar way, when we go through a trial with God, it bonds us in a special way. Our souls have been bared naked to Him who sees all things. Our darkest thoughts have been presented to Him. Our greatest fears have been revealed. Yet God has walked through with us. And walking through the valley creates the deepest of bonds that man can have with God. 

Suffering is what we are called to as people who follow Jesus. We’re instructed to carry our crosses and follow Him. Throughout the Bible’s history we see how people suffer for the sake of God. Beginning with Abel who was killed for offering a better sacrifice, to the judges and prophets who suffered for speaking God’s truth, all the way to the martyrs of the early church, suffering in the faith walk has always been a part of the deal. 

And yet, God always points us to a picture of redemption. The darkness will not last forever. Joy comes with the morning. There will come a day when you realize you’re not in the valley anymore. When suddenly everything doesn’t seem as bad as it used to. When you realize there is hope just in reach. It’s a great moment. 

As those of you who have been reading this (like two people) know, I’ve been sharing parts of my journey here with you. I’ve shared how over the summer I felt like God really intensified my faith. How I felt as though my world shattered and I really came to know and trust God in a way I had never felt before. And faithful to His promise, I have felt God start to restore everything I felt I had lost. I have new community, a renewed sense of purpose, new ways to view life. Life has been good. And that’s good. 

But, the other day I sat down to reflect and I realized that part of me wasn’t feeling the same intensity that I had been feeling half a year ago. The same feeling of closeness that I had felt when God was the only thing I felt like I could cling to. And it made me realize that it can be easier to follow God when everything is falling apart. But it’s easy to find pleasure in other things when the world seems good. 

We see this story play out with the Israelites over and over again in the book of Judges. An enemy is oppressing them and they cry out to God. God delivers them. But when everything is good, the Israelites turn their back again. This realization made me feel sad. Because I remember thinking, “Man, the Israelites saw God do these crazy things, how would they turn their back on Him?” And yet, that plays out in our lives as well. We see God come through for us, yet when times are going well, we forget about what He’s done for us. 

It feels easier to walk with God when He’s the only one that’s actually providing us with support. It’s a lot harder when a million different things seem to be there for you as well. As I sat reflecting the other day, part of me wished that I could be back where I was six months ago. Not because I liked what I was going through, or I wanted to experience all that again, but rather because that was a time when I truly felt like I was walking side by side with God. Where I heard His voice on the daily, reminding me that I was His son.  

There’s a part of me that misses the intense period of growth that I had to go through. The period where God broke down my pride and reminded me that I’m merely an instrument of His using. The period where He still walked alongside me regardless of my brokenness. It was a great season. But God is faithful to His people and His goal is never to leave us in a perpetual state of sorrow and repentance. Rather, it’s to bring us the joy of fellowship and redemption. 

I know that it might be harder to praise Him and to come to Him when it seems that all my needs are met, but that is what I am called to do. I must praise my God at all times. In my lifetime, I know that there will be more moments where my faith will be tested. Where it may seem like everything is spiraling out of control. But no matter the circumstance, I am called to praise my God to the fullest of my abilities. 

"God gave me a high pain threshold/I know I'll suffer more as my age gets old/ but the pain can't compare to the glory/ my life changed so I'm sharing my story"- Stephen Brindle

[out-of-egypt-blog]

Holy Saturday

I feel that very often when we read the stories in the Bible, we tend to forget the human experience and focus on the bigger picture. I had that moment this past week when I was talking with my coworker Hannah about David and Bathsheba. I was talking about David’s sin and how nothing had been hidden from God. All of a sudden Hannah says, “Yeah, and I bet Bathsheba must have felt violated. I’m sure she loved her husband as much as he loved her and then David killed him.” I had to take a moment to reflect on that. In a few seconds, Hannah had re-focused my perspective. I had never really thought about how Bathsheba must have felt through all this. It got me to thinking about all the times that we forget the humanity that exists at the core of the Bible. 

Standing on this side of the Resurrection, the bigger picture of everything makes sense. The Law was meant to point to our need for a Savior, the kings, priests, prophets, and judges were merely representatives that were meant to be superseded by the One who would be our perfection before God. The Old Testament points to the cross, while the New Testament reflects on the effects of it. Yet, behind all these stories were real people whose day to day lives were still relatively normal. They felt human emotions. They were no different from you and I. In between the conversations and covenants with God, Abraham had to manage his wealth. Moses spent 40 years in the desert, fulfilling his shepherd duties, before God spoke. David must have had a normal childhood, never dreaming he would be chosen to be king some day. So on and so forth. 

The Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday tends to be forgotten by many. The Gospels stay relatively quiet about this day. Over the years, as I’ve reflected on this day, I’ve always felt that this day was about the humanity of Jesus’ followers. Good Friday points to the atoning sacrifice of Jesus. Our sins were paid and our debt erased. Easter Sunday points to the glorious resurrection of Jesus. Death was defeated and God was vindicated. Jesus was truly the Messiah who had come to deliver his people from sin. 

But what about Holy Saturday? I often imagine that this must have been one of the worst days in the lives of the disciples. For over three years, they had followed the rabbi they believed held truth. They had lived every aspect of their life alongside him. Here was a man who was able to bring a tax collector to eat dinner alongside a zealot who desired the downfall of Rome. Here was a man who made  “the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the gospel is being preached to the poor.” 

And yet, in less than 24 hours, he had been arrested, given an unjust trial, tortured, and put to death. The Pharisees had won. One of their own, Judas Iscariot, had betrayed them all. The movement was dead. I am sure that there was fear in their hearts. If the teacher had been killed, they would surely be coming for those closest to him next. The disciples were certain they would be the next ones hanging from crosses. Death, not life was what captivated their minds. At that moment, the fact that Jesus was binding sin and death once and for all must have been the farthest thing from their mind. To them, all that mattered was that they needed to get away. 

I once heard someone say that to get from the death on Friday, to the resurrection on Sunday, the disciples had to go through the lonely waiting of Saturday. Before they could see the bigger picture, they still had to wait through an entire day. A day of uncertainty. 

All of us are going to go through those moments in life. Where our worlds fall apart around us and we question where God could be in that moment. Where everything we had believed in suddenly seems laughable. Our solid rock becomes sand and we have nothing to stand on. And yet, it is in those moments that our faith truly becomes concrete. I always picture the despair that Peter must have felt as he realized that his last words with Jesus were those of betrayal. He had boldly proclaimed he would fight to the death, yet he was the only one who verbally denied Jesus three times. He was the one who cursed and raised up a storm. But he was also the one who ran to the tomb on Sunday morning. 

Especially this year, I have always seen Saturday as a day to reflect on our broken humanity. Saturday is the day when we realize how we failed. As humans we ate from the forbidden tree. As humans we failed to keep the Law. As humans we were the ones who put Jesus up on that tree and nailed him to the cross. The Savior was dead. Hope was lost. I have been reflecting this evening on my own shortcomings. This past year, I faced my brokenness in ways I had never imagined I would. I had to go through my own personal Saturday to reach the bigger picture that God is still working on. In the past few months, I’ve had to reflect on ways that I have failed God through my actions or words, or lack thereof. How have I denied Jesus in my every day living? How has my own sin led me to moments where my world fell apart and it seemed like nothing would ever be the same again? 

I’m sure that the disciples still remembered the words of Jesus about his resurrection. There was still hope, faint as it might be. If there was no slight bit of hope, why stay in the area? Why not start heading home? Likewise, in those moments where our humanity seems bigger than God’s divinity, we must always remember those words. God has not left us alone. The Holy Spirit still resides within us, even when we try to dim His light. In the midst of our darkness and tribulations, God is still at work. We may not be able to see the full picture yet, but God is working on something. The disciples would soon be standing alongside us on the other side of the Resurrection. They would see the glory of Jesus. They would go on to start the Church and spread the good news to every corner of the world. But first, they had to endure a Saturday of loneliness, shame, and despair. 

[out-of-egypt-blog]

Palm Sunday

Today is the day that Christians worldwide recognize as the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. It marks the beginning of Holy Week. Historically, this is the week before Jesus was crucified. 

As I’ve gotten deeper and deeper into the Word, Palm Sunday represents so much more than it used to. As a child, I understood that the crowds placed palms before Jesus as he rode into Jerusalem onto a donkey. The cries of “Hosanna!” showed their hope that Jehovah would send a messiah to save them from the tyranny of the Roman empire. That the Jewish people would be saved and the true king would reign once more over God’s chosen people. 

Contextually, the story is really intriguing. Although in the Gospels, we focus more on the fact that Jesus was the chosen Messiah who would redeem the sins of the world, when you look at the historical context, there is so much more that makes this story richer. Jerusalem at this time was a political hotbed. Dozens of “messiahs” had arisen that tried to wrest control back from the Roman empire. They had all failed. The people were daily praying for the Lord to rescue them and restore David’s throne. Some people called for more extreme measures while others sided completely with Rome. On a spiritual level, prior to just a few years before, when John the Baptist started his ministry, God hadn’t spoken through prophets for over four centuries. The people were awaiting a messiah, but they had no idea where it would come from. 

What is so deep and rich about the triumphal entry of Jesus is how coated in symbolism it is. He entered the city on the back of a donkey. Most kings entered cities on the backs of horses. This symbolized their victory and their status. Yet Jesus chose to enter through a humble beast. One that signified the concept of peace and reminded us that he is the Prince of Peace. The people laid palms before him. In a way they understood his kingship. They understood that he was the one who would restore David’s throne. 

But what the people expected was a political king. They wanted Jesus to be a messiah who would come and overthrow the Roman empire. They wanted Jesus to be David’s descendant who would establish his own kingship. With the political unrest of the time, if Jesus had demanded it, it is certain that the people would have risen to follow him. Yet, Jesus had a greater plan in mind. 

Yes, he was David’s descendant who would restore the House of David and rule forever, but not in the way the Jewish people thought. His kingdom was “not of this world” as he would tell Pilate in less than a week. His kingdom would transcend any other kingdom that ever existed or will exist. It was to be a kingdom where Jesus would rule sovereignly over the entirety of humanity. 

As always, Jesus exceeded the expectations that people had. This is an example of how higher God’s mind is than ours. The people expected a terrestrial empire. They expected political chains to be broken. Yet Jesus had such a bigger plan in mind. His kingdom would be eternal. The chains that he was breaking were spiritual. He was attacking the root of our corruption. He was taking the fight straight into the spiritual realms. He was reasserting his control of the earth as its creator. In the entirety of Jesus’ ministry, we see that he is waging a war against Satan for the souls of different people. His ministry was characterized by the expulsion of demons. Jesus was coming to reclaim what was rightfully his. This kingdom that he was establishing would never end. He WOULD rule as the king, yet not in the sense that people expected. 

I get excited when I think about this season. Palm Sunday was the beginning of the end for Jesus. In a week, his body would lie, mangled beyond belief, in a tomb. But yet, in a week, he would also rise. And weeks later, he would ascend to finally take the heavenly throne. And I think that’s really cool. The people expected one thing, but Jesus sought to give them more. Although Jesus didn’t overthrow the Roman empire in the way they might have wished, he was in the midst of doing something much greater than any human mind could have comprehended. He was beginning his final journey to being the “Lamb who takes away the sins of the world”. The redemption of humanity had begin when Jesus started his earthly ministry. But now the fulfillment of the prophecy from Genesis would soon be fulfilled. The enemy would soon strike the heel, but Jesus would crush his head. The story of cosmic redemption that had started from the moment that man fell from grace was about to be completed. 

[out-of-egypt-blog]

Catalyst West

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 28:19

Something that has always amazed me about God’s relationship to humanity is that His plan has always been to save a people for Himself. Growing up, I was taught that salvation belonged exclusively to the Israelites, and then, due to their failure in recognizing the Messiah, the plan was shifted to the Gentiles. But as I’ve studied the Word more and more, it’s become evident that the plan had always been to redeem humanity. Israel was meant to be a light to the nations. Through their testimony, others would see the richness of God’s mercy and grace. 

When the Israelites failed in their commission, the Messiah was sent to complete that plan. Jesus would be the ultimate sacrifice that would end the sacrificial system. He was to be the ultimate prophet, priest, and king. With His death and resurrection, the commission was given to the disciples to be the light Israel had failed to be. Through their words and actions, they were to spread the message to every single nation. Jew and Gentile needed to be reached. 

Therein lied the problem however. For centuries, faith in Jehovah had been limited to the Jewish people. Their faith and culture were intertwined as one. What was to happen when a people who belonged to a different culture were brought in to the faith?

From the beginnings of the Jesus followers movement, we see that culture clash play out. From the moment that Peter returns from witnessing to Cornelius, a group of Jewish believers immediately start calling for circumcision. If these Gentiles are to start following Jesus, then obviously, they must start to follow the Law that was given to Moses. Paul too, faced the same problem once he started witnessing to Gentile nations. The Jewish people, who dominated the culture of the early Christian movement wanted the Gentiles to conform to their way of living. 

So what’s the point of all this, you ask?

Last week, I got the chance to go to the Catalyst Conference with Pastor Scott, courtesy of Ethnos Community Church. The conference was held at Mariner’s Church in Irvine. It was a pretty great conference with some amazing speakers. 

One of the things that stuck out to me about the conference was how culturally white American it was. From the moment I stepped onto the campus of the church, I noticed that there was a lack of diversity. Over the conference, I saw several other people of color, but they were still in the minority compared to the number of white people. My problem wasn’t so much with the fact that minorities were in the minority, but more with the reason why. If the conference is designed for the Church, why does it attract mostly middle class people? The fact that one ticket alone costs around $200 probably doesn’t help. 

Likewise, although there was some diversity in gender and ethnicity among the speakers, it was still mostly dominated by white males. Once again, it’s not that I have a problem with white male speakers, but if all these speakers are coming from a similar background, where is the diversity in perspectives? What voices are we missing out on, by not including them in the conversation? 

The worship bands also reflected a distinct voice. All having the similar style of Hillsong or Jesus Culture. In fact, one of the bands that led us in worship was Jesus Culture. (Fun fact: I fell asleep during their set. Ask me about it). I was definitely blessed by the worship that was led. But the question that arose was, “Why is this style the only ‘appropriate’ way to worship God?” 

Having been a part of InterVarsity and currently attending Ethnos, has given me a huge appreciation for the ways that different cultures worship God. The ways that these unique styles can be brought together to worship a God who is reflected in every culture. 

What I saw in this conference reminded me that as the American church, we are still far away from reflecting that reality. These large conferences and mega churches are still reflecting a WASP culture. As I walked through the conference, my thought was “How comfortable would the average Ethnos member be at this conference?” By having the same type of worship and speakers at all these conferences, we’re implicitly saying there is one acceptable way to do church. We’re losing out on diverse voices and diverse ways to approach God because we’re saying that those who have different perspectives may not necessarily belong in these spaces. My pastor was telling me that there was a conference for multiethnic churches. What is this saying? That in these larger conferences, the space doesn’t exist to talk about multiethnicity so there needs to be a separate space for them. 

What’s the bigger implication? The fact is, that although they may not realize it, these large churches are subtly influencing the churches where minorities reside. I grew up in a Spanish speaking church. In the few years before I left for college though, I started to see how the worship music was slowly changing from the songs I grew up singing, to Spanish versions of Hillsong songs. The culture of the church was slowly shifting to reflect that of a different culture. 

We need a space for these other voices to exist. And it’s not enough to have separate spaces. These voices need to exist in the mainstream church. These different voices and perspectives need to be heard by everyone. Even in megachurches where the pastor may be a person of color, the conversation is rarely directed to talking about ethnicity or poverty or social justice. I’ve been blessed by people like John Piper, Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, Timothy Keller and many others, but why aren’t there more Latino or Black or Asian theologians in the mainstream? Men and women who care deeply about these issues that affect a large section of the church today. 

Being at the conference made me realize that there is still a long way to go when it comes to having these conversations as well as highlighting them. The church was always meant to be global. Every culture is represented at God’s table. If we truly believe that God has created every culture and person in His image, then that means we can’t afford to silence voices that don’t belong to the majority voice. Change is going to happen and as followers of Jesus, we need to think about how we can help create a global church that reflects God’s love for every single human.

[out-of-egypt-blog]

Rise

"We may fall, but we will rise. Not by my might, nor my power, nor by the strength of swords, only through your love my Lord. All that’s lost will be restored.” (Josh Garrels) 

Shortly after I stopped fundraising for InterVarsity, I read an article that really resonated with me. It talked about a pastor who had just stepped down from leadership due to brokenness in his private world. The last tweet he had posted on his account was “Welcome to the valley of the shadow of death. Thank God grace reigns here.” I ended up copying those exact words onto a piece of paper and proceeded to tape it up over my desk. In the weeks and months to come, it would be a source of strength. Thank God grace reigns here. 

In the darkest moments of my life, it reminded me that no matter where I was at, God was still at work in my life. After InterVarsity, it felt like I had lost my sense of identity, close relationships, a purpose to my life. For almost an entire month, I would wake up, go to work, then come back home and sit in my room alone until the next day. Part of me couldn’t face reality. I stopped talking to God for a season. Deep down, I knew that I needed to go face to face with Him, but I couldn’t do it. I knew there was so much to bring before God and I didn’t have the emotional strength to even start. I needed to vent, to ask questions, to rage, to threaten to turn my back, to pour it all out before the Father. But I couldn’t. It was too draining to even think about the emotions. 

By His grace, God still kept reaching out to me in those moments. At first it started through the work of the three pastors at Ethnos; Pastors Yucan, Tim, and Scott. They made an effort to meet up with me and continue to encourage me. In the moments where I didn’t want to even think about encouragement, they kept going at it. They kept reminding me that God was doing something greater in all this. Meanwhile, I was all like “God, can you just take me now? I can’t even.” 

It was also around the same time that I started feeling encouraged by Ethnos community. People that would just talk to me after service, or even just said  a quick hello in passing by. They may not have known it, but those hellos or how are you’s were small lifelines in the sea of despair I was drowning in. It reminded me that there were still people that cared about me. I’m eternally grateful to people like Eric Lige, Joy, Reyn, Christine, Austin, Emily, Eric Hazzard, my community group and many others.

A third place I saw God continue to reach out to me was at Starbucks. A couple of weeks after I left InterVarsity, a new barista started working there. Her name is Juli. I quickly found out she was Catholic and I started talking with her about her faith. I was amazed by it. Over the course of the summer, we had so many conversations about what it means to live out our faith in the culture we’re set in and what it looks like to give your life in service. I’ve mentioned it to her a few times already, but those conversations have had such a deep influence at how I started to view what it means to be a man of God. 

I started to go back into the Scriptures. My journal entries were a lot more heart felt now. Instead of saying things like “Today sucked,” they started to go deeper into what I was feeling. I poured my heart out to the Father. Raged, vented, cried, complained, and sought comfort in Him. I read Rebuilding Your Broken World by Gordon McDonald, and Undefiled by Harry Schaumburg. I then re-read both of them. Slowly, but surely, I started to see what God was doing in my life. 

It’s been crazy to think that it’s been over six months since all that happened. There have been moments where I thought I was moving forward, but then things happened that made me realize I still had a ways to go. There have been moments where I despaired of ever seeing change, but then I reflected and was amazed at how far I’ve come. 

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been doing some deep reflecting on God’s goodness. There is this quote by the artist Jackie Hill that I really like. It says “God’s goodness towards you is not subjected to your perceptions of ‘goodness’. Sometimes, the most chaotic seasons of your life are sovereignly ordained to be the best seasons of your life. Not for your comfort, but to draw your soul nearer to your Savior.” As I look back to this season, I definitely agree. There was nothing comforting about how I ended last year. Yet, in the midst of all that, I’ve never felt closer to God. Walking with God through the valley allowed me to walk as close as I’ve ever gotten with Him. There were moments where I felt that I had nothing at all except for God. Moments where the darkness overwhelmed me and all I could do was bring it to the Father. And the Father was gracious. 

As we enter the second month of the year, I can safely say that I’m not in the valley anymore. I know I’m not at the top either, but I’m not where I was half a year ago. It’s been a humbling experience. What I thought I was once entitled to, now I thank God for a chance to participate in HIs mission. I’ve had a chance to engage in spiritual conversations with so many of my co-workers. I like to think that I’m engaging in more “freelance” ministry. Just living life alongside my friends and trying to point them to Jesus. 

My church community has been amazing. I’m so grateful for each and every single one of them. Although many of them didn’t know it at the time, covertly, they were still uplifting my spirit. I am always looking forward to Sunday mornings. To worshipping alongside the rest of my community. To living life alongside them. To be able to carry their burdens as they helped carry mine. 

Words cannot express how grateful I am that we serve a God who gives second chances. A God who’s story to us is one of redemption and restoration. Just as Jesus was sent down to redeem creation from the effects of sin, so too does the Holy Spirit continue to redeem and restore us from our brokenness. In my moments of solitude and quiet, I reflect on how good God has been towards me. In the midst of everything, God was like “I’m still here. I’m here to restore you. To bring you life.” 

When I was younger, I used to read the parable of the lost sheep. How the shepherd left 99 sheep to go find one sheep. I used to be like “Yeah, Jesus, go find those lost sheep!” But in my moments of isolation, that story came to mean so much more to me. Instead of identifying with the 99 sheep, suddenly I was that one sheep. And it was like “Jesus, please come to me. I need you so badly.” And He came. Despite everything, He came for me. And I think that’s so amazing. 

I think it’s so amazing that the God who created the entire universe by merely saying it would be so, would care so much for an individual. That in the midst of the cosmic story of redemption and the infinite events happening in the universe, He would come to me. Just me and God. And instead of condemning me for my past mistakes, He would say, “Here I am. Let me walk with you through the valley. Let me love you. Let me show you that you’re not defined by your past”

God is good. That was something I could never let go of even in my darkest moments. In the moments where I honestly didn’t care if a car ran me over on the way to work, or if I just stopped existing, that core truth existed inside of me. I knew that God was good. I knew that He was doing something bigger in my life than I could even begin to imagine. 

And now, I’m starting to see beyond death’s shadow in the valley. I am starting to see where God’s restoration is. What redemption truly looks like. And it’s better than anything I could have ever begun to imagine. We serve a God who gives second chances. A God who is at work even when we can’t imagine the mechanisms behind his doings. A God who never ceases of showing us His love.

God is good.

All the time.