outofcontextscp - Tumblr blog

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remember that time someone called the serpent’s hand “sjws”

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From the AIAD cannon(congrats on cannon status btw!)

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Notable events include a schism over the admittance of lobsters into the Salt Canon (six casualties) and the deaths of forty-five individuals inside a single trailer home under claims that sardines were the most holy of fish

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Marked A5-size Envelope, Addressed to "GIVE THIS TO DADDY", Unsealed.

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You sat on your own corpse pile, and you said, NO! This is the BEST corpse pile, these are the BEST corpses,

The Cool War

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How did he build that stuff? Is he… how is he on the moon? What the hell ARE those things

The Clipper

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The list of inappropriate clothing is fully detailed in Document-2353 but includes the following: Foam clogs commonly known as Crocs White clothing, including laboratory coats, between the first Monday of September and the first day of Spring Any kind of flip-flop or sandal when worn with socks Denim shorts commonly known as jorts

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While its content may list several sexual techniques, please don't use this book for personal pleasure.

Dr. U. R. A. Fish

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(Note from Researcher: At this point, three common white mice are introduced into SCP-682's containment cell. SCP-682 normally devours prey on sight.)

SCP-682: Ahhh… a conference call. I sense… redundancies… we must smartsize… to better push the envelope… in our core competencies.

(SCP-682 then dismembers and eats two of the three mice.)

SCP-682: I hope they find… their severance… suitable.

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"At least he died before the skeleton got him!" "Don't-" "Yup! They're plotting to rule the world! They hide inside of people, and they're skulking in wait for the perfect time to burst out and order spare ribs from restaurants! If they had the stomach for it."

Tale: Family Business

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Have you ever had unkind thoughts about ██████ ████?

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It sold surprisingly well in the 8-12 and midlife crisis demographic.

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Could someone please Google “Torso”?

Dr. ██████

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We have 420 followers. Blaze it. - Mod Shark Punching Center

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John. Born Johnny Monterey Macarena Kalene Wondertainment, known in most documentation as John "I-Don't-Want-A-Bloody-Middle-Name" Wondertainment.

Tale: Family Business