overheard-at-school

[overheard-at-school]

"How much do strippers get paid? I really want to drop out to skip this exam."

          "Not that much.  Prostitutes get paid more"

"I want more money, but I don't want the STDs."

          "Well, you’re not the best dancer, so prostitution would be the most viable career option."

[overheard-at-school]

"Why the fuck do all our text books smell like fish?"

          "That's disgusting."

                    "Ewwwww, fish."

[overheard-at-school]

I'm so hungry! Maybe if I breathe fast enough I'll inhale some calories!

[overheard-at-school]

That's a deadly weapon! You do NOT stab someone with toothpaste!

[overheard-at-school]

I look like a butt cheek on a stick.

[overheard-at-school]

His name is Alex Trebek, and he's my god.

[overheard-at-school]

Which one of you smells like the orthodontist?

[overheard-at-school]

It's like our butts are touching, but not really.

re: sitting on a warm chair

[overheard-at-school]

Nothing in life matters except getting that booty.

[overheard-at-school]

No, I don't want any diet cock.

[overheard-at-school]

They're gonna save all the gays. The gay Armageddon.

[overheard-at-school]

You need to start drinking milk and not semen because it has more protein.

[overheard-at-school]

Wait, Amazon is an actual place?

[overheard-at-school]

"I gotta talk to the big man upstairs."

"...you mean God??"

[overheard-at-school]

Ugh! Fuck this. I want to be a fish.

re: war

[overheard-at-school]

But the zombies have to be gay, or else it's homophobic.

[overheard-at-school]

"Anyone that isn't present?"

"My emotional stability."