ozzie-jests - Tumblr blog

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petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

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get in bestie we’re trying out new things even though we’re scared

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reblog to give the person you reblogged this from a fucking break

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imagine thinking 30+ year old women aren’t sexy lmfao can’t relate

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this was a hit tweet on bird app so might as well post it here too

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Working at the sex shop really did rewire my brain. There was basically no topic that was too taboo to talk about, and what little propriety I’d had evaporated. I’d be out walking and chatting with friends about erotica I’d had to read that day only to be shushed and realize people were staring at me.

It always struck me as a little bit silly but I learned to curb myself for others comfort levels. Mostly.

But I have one distinct memory of decorating holiday cookies with my parents and my grandmother. My mom had worked in a sex shop back in her day, and I never hid my line of work from my family, so I was telling a work story.

I was conscious that my dad was slightly more sensitive, so I was using pretty broad descriptions, but I happened to mention silicone lube and my nana asked, “What’s that?”

I went into full sales mode. Focused on the little reindeer cookie I was decorating I started info dumping, “Oh, it’s pretty great. Water based lubricants get absorbed through vaginal mucous membranes, but silicone is too dense and our body can’t absorb it the same way. So once you apply some silicone you never have to worry about chafing, and a little goes a long way. It’s especially popular with older women, because they start producing less natural lubricant and absorb water based lubes so quickly.”

There was a silent beat after this statement.

I looked up.

My mom and grandmother were looking at me with rapt attention, and I belatedly realized I was addressing two older women who probably would welcome extra lubrication.

And then there was my dad, blushing so pink with embarrassment that I thought he was about to faint.

“I can talk about something else,” I offered in apology to my dad.

“Like hell! He can go in the other room, tell me more!” My nana declared. My dad scampered off to busy himself in another room while I answered their questions and talked about brands and pricing.

I slipped them each a small bottle of silicone lube for the holidays.

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Muppet Fact #958

In the 2023 comic Elvira in Monsterland, Elvira and Vlad the Impaler are sent to Sesame Street and the two run into Count von Count and Big Bird.

Source:

Elvira in Monsterland. Issue 1. David Avallone and Kewber Bal. Dynamite. 2023.

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I bet he has pronouns

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Official pride image from the Sesame Street twitter (from 2019)

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So...in other happier news, I did some studies of the Count

I hope this makes someone happy

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