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[ozzykyrgios-blog]

sammy-sheridan:

Sammy had been enjoying a last minute day off. Enrique had agreed that he’d been putting in way too much overtime, and since the boy would work 80 hour weeks if he could he often needed to be told to slow down. So he agreed to take time off. Stepping out towards the pool he was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a loose tank top. Hair a mess as he wasn’t trying to style it today. He’d nearly crossed the bar area when he heard that all too familiar voice call out.

“Uncle Ozzy.” He turned and gave a bright smile, but faltered as the other man spoke. “I was given the day off… Wait,” he pauses for a moment as he gets closer to the older man. Hand resting on the older man’s knee as he whispered the next part “you don’t think my outfit’s titilating Daddy?”

Ozzy gave Sammy a long, hard stare as he contemplated his words. It would do him no good to insult Sammy, even on a day off. Not that insult was his intention, either - constructive criticism was where the man truly shined. “In my honest opinion?” he said with a bit of a laugh, one that felt both admonishing and playful all at once. “It’s certainly titillating something, someone, somewhere.”

His hand reached out, pinching the fabric of the shorts and giving a slight tug upward, about half an inch up Sammy’s thigh. “These are a little long, and not really your colour. The shirt’s nice, I’ll give you that.” But he flashed a smile regardless, bringing the hand up to give Sammy’s cheek a light, friendly tap. “You’ve worn better. And you’ve certainly worn...” He now returned the whisper. “Skimpier.”

[ozzykyrgios-blog]

abelwrecker:

Wait. Running the establishment? Abel’s expression twisted in thought, as the man just said he didn’t–

Maybe it would be better not to question it. “I didn’t know I was coming until last week.” Whether or not the man accepted his excuse, it was the truth, and that’s all that mattered. The owner passed him, and Abel paused. “Right. Resort store,” he said as he turned and hastened to follow once more. Rather than walk beside the man, he opted to follow behind and to his side. No need to invite further issue, not when he was being kind enough to show him along. “Thank you for taking the time. The sooner I’m out of these, the better.” His soft smile turned fond, as he looked towards the ground in thought. “I told them I didn’t have anything to bring, but the wouldn’t listen. The tickets were already bought.”

“You could always go au natural,” Ozzy suggested, looking back over his shoulder for the briefest of moments. Fish out of water was his least favourite position for fish to be in, but he wasn’t about to deny the man the opportunity to drop some cold hard cash at the shop. One man’s forgetfulness is another man’s monetary gain. “There are some decency laws in effect, but the beach is private. I take no responsibility for any leering stares, but be sure to report unwarranted physical contact. We have a zero-tolerance policy.”

He reached the shop, tucked in a corner off the admin building. He took another long look over the visitor and gave a quick nod. “You’re, what, a large? Medium? This should work.” Reaching for the rack, Ozzy grabbed the first shirt he could find (I Found My Dream In Mykonos in campy lettering and a splash of colour). “First one’s 50% off, because I believe strongly in giving back. But you’ll need more than one, of course.”

[ozzykyrgios-blog]

abelwrecker:

Well and clearly out of his element, Abel pulled on the collar of his long-sleeve shirt. “I am not your husband,” he confirmed, a bit wide-eyed. The man he followed just seemed to know where he was going, was all. “I didn’t meant to assume– I mean, I wouldn’t have followed you all this way if– I didn’t mean to overhear–” He paused, frowned, huffed, and re-squared his shoulders. “You wouldn’t happen to know where the gift shop is, do you?”

Again, he tugged at his collar.

Ozzy took all of a moment to size up the quarry, and in that split-second he realized it wasn’t worth the challenge of chewing him up and spitting him out. Sometimes the universe threw him a softball, but Ozzy was above bunting. “What sort of establishment do you think I’m running here, exactly?” he asked, using what Rique would undoubtedly call his ‘inside voice’. “Who comes to Greece dressed like my bubbe at church in mid-January? You’re going to get a rash in that.” He sighed, silently praising himself for his kindness, and began walking past the man, back the way he came. “Come on. I’ll show you the resort store. But, please, for the love of all that’s good... don’t call it a gift shop again.”

[ozzykyrgios-blog]

@sammy-sheridan.

Sometime after 10 in the morning, Ozzy found himself leaning against the beach bar’s front service counter, nursing a drink that was far too vodka-heavy to be acceptable at the hour. Around him were the happy guests, the happy staff, everybody happy, but a storm brewed beneath Ozzy’s congenial surface. Par for the course, really. 

His conversation with the bartender ended as his eyes drifted to the side, spotting a rather familiar face in a rather unfamiliar outfit. “Samuel,” he said, taking a sip of the bright red punch. “That doesn’t look like your work outfit. Shouldn’t you be off titillating somebody somewhere? Or did Enrique give you the day off?”

[ozzykyrgios-blog]

“We’re only a week into peak season and we’re already running out of shrimp? So I stared him dead in the face, told him he could take his sorry ass and--” Ozzy stopped talking, stopped walking, stopped walking and talking, and finally turned around to look over who was following him. His brow furrowed, head tilting slightly to the side. “Oh. You’re not my husband.” When had Enrique been replaced by... this? “Do you need something? I know I’m wearing a polo shirt, but that doesn’t mean I work here.”

[ozzykyrgios-blog]

Jeff Goldblum and Emma Thompson in The Tall Guy (1989)

[ozzykyrgios-blog]

NAME // Ozimandias “Ozzy” Kyrgios AGE // 64 OCCUPATION // Oneiro Resort Owner, Manager, Proprietor, Supervillain RESIDENCE // Private Villa FACE CLAIM // Jeff Goldblum PLAYED BY // H, HE/HIS, 27, MST OVERVIEW // If you want something done right, you’ll have to get Ozzy to do it. Few can compare to the man’s perfectionist streak, but it was this drive for quality that allowed him to get where he is today. Ruthless, intimidating, and over the top scarcely begin to describe him. To the uninitiated, he appears to be untamed and a few crayons short of a rainbow, but his eccentricity is one of his greatest strengths: he can use it to cushion himself when called out for his rampant assholery. 

As the owner-manager-head custodian of the Oneiro resort, Ozzy has earned some pride: the resort is his baby, and everything he does is to ensure its success. Sometimes that means losing his temper yelling at insufferable guests, sometimes that means seducing them. He likens himself to Gordon Ramsey meets Tim Gunn. He’ll make it work, you stupid donkey.

Don’t believe what Enrique tells you: yes, it is his birth name, thank you very much.