p3ar - Tumblr blog

[p3ar]

"Life begins after accepting everything that comes your way"

Well how can one live in life full of negativity,

How can someone call it "life" when dying is something you've been wanting,

That everyday you start complaining

That things aren't coming in your way,

Well, STOP !

Stop antagonizing yourself for not living the way you want

YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PURPOSE

Life may be hard but learn to go on

LIVE for everyone who believes in you

Maybe there are some that dislike you

but always remember to prioritize yourself,

You are the only one who knows Who you truly are.

[p3ar]

Truth be told,

As we grow older life gets dull

Days becomes repetitive like wheels on bus,

Smiles that masked the darkest side of man

Forgot the feeling of excitement in my life's pace as I ran.

[p3ar]

There is this point in life that you felt of getting tired even just after waking up

[p3ar]

“Are you ever so sad that you can actually feel your heart ache.”

— Unknown

[p3ar]

Hundreds of waves came splash

Tried to float as I gasp

In the sea of unknown I sank

I never saw a single riverbank.

[p3ar]

Creating void that cannot be filled,

Thoughtless words that cuts so deep,

Those sharp tongues that's been yield,

Imagine living the world like a fiery pit, causes burns that can't be healed.

Madness in perfection overflows,

Living with unreal standards that are imposed,

Acting so clever despite of being wrong,

Our society now is in disarray,

Voices are stolen and none can compete,

Lots act so mighty,

How is it so hard nowadays to find someone that bows and have remorse.

Pear

[p3ar]

for those people in my personal life who don't know I write a lot:

sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to share my art with you;

so many of you don't know how truly dark my mind can be...

[p3ar]

Nothingness

[p3ar]

“Never make fun of someone’s passion because that’s the thing that saves them from the world.”

— Unknown

[p3ar]

I found my safe space, where I can just easily post my rants about how hard life is. My writings that are stuck on my notes, well it really is hard to be so open to anyone these days. Receiving invalidation is very distressing, even if I know who I really am. Why are there so many unkind person who are only waiting for someone to fail. I am no problematic, I have my own hardships and I don't compare. I just find it cruel to judge anyone who cannot meet the standard that the society is building up. Anyone have their good and bad side depending on someone's perspective.It will not take an ounce to be nice to someone if we don't know them by heart. We all know that the only person who truly knows us is ourselves, so please stop comparing and commenting on how someone must live especially on what should they feel.

[p3ar]

TRAPPED

Memories of yesterday still clings

How can I move forward when it still hits

The heart I have as big as fist

Hurts like hell everytime it beats.

No one understand how I felt inside

Like why will they care about the feelings I hide.

Laughing so hard everytime we bond

But when left alone , tears can create a pond.

Stop whining like youngsters do

In every stituations that you can't redo,

Yes I am aware that I am trapped

Inside my state of mind which I want to stop.

Pear

[p3ar]

I am tired, but still trying my best to strive. World revolves not only around me, there are those who struggle more than I and still able to walk with smile. Well the irony of life is that when you are still able to live despite of dying inside. How I wish that I am able to live the fantasies that's been lurking in my mind and be able to show my purest laugh and smile, well now, I am living the opposite of what I dreamt. Why is it so hard to feel happy? I am drained of tirelessly working and often feels lethargic. Well I need to greatfull for all the things I am experiencing, but still I have the right to complain.

[p3ar]

Often times I am unable to comprehend the very person that I am, the thoughts and feelings that swarm my mind, leading me to wonder what is really behind this. Is it just me or is something more deep underlying there? As is quite frequently the case, I am not met with any answers. Happiness eludes me, even when it is close at hand just waiting for me to reach out and grab it; and yet, despite all this, there is laughter and smiles on the face to perhaps show that all is not lost, oblivious to the facade behind. On the contrary, eyes do not lie, and they are triggered quite easily to give away anything for which they might have made such strides to conceal in the first place, but that is also for only those, who have eyes that can actually see. As this trip is reaching its conclusion, I am reminded of my place in the struggles and strife, ones that have been conquered and those that are yet to amass. There is hope of course, make no mistake about that, and immense gratitude too, but that does not permit the mind to claw away from the enormity of things to come. For a once-labeled heartless person to feel things way too closely when they actually may not mean anything, is another irony of life I am yet to comprehend fully. For now, I let it be, telling myself I am but a mere human being, mediocre at best, work-in-progress at most, trying, just trying to ensure I am being the best I can be, and yet not really making that good a job out of it.

- DG (A memoir)

[p3ar]

Looking the calm and shallow lake,

The kayak can't move an inch from it's place

Forgot it's paddle thats needed to take,

Is it bad or good to wait?

For it to move freely without any help.

The place feels gloomy as it aged

Bricks falls, walls and columns cracks ,

Roof dances together with the wind,paints faded, floors creaking

Now looking at the broken window glass,

It is so strong to still stand against storms.

Pear

[p3ar]

“I have never known who or what I am supposed to be. The only thing I know for sure, is that I am supposed to be more than I have been.”

— William Chapman

[p3ar]

While wondering about how scary things could happen, I am starting to find my ground, even how the world will shake me up, I know I am glued to what I want, That I am capable to bring myself up without doubting anyone who extend their helping hands, I got no fear of failing, rejections and ridicules, I am starting to think less of what others say, I know now that life is a battle itself, and I belive that I have my armor that protects me, those who believe in me, those who never looked down on me and , I have my sword that I can yield during my battle, this sword is my courage, I am no coward , I will faced everything that life will throw towards me, with my armors and sword, I will win this battle and live without sacrifing my happiness, I will stand with pride with bruises I got from my battle with life.

Pear

[p3ar]

Every chapter, it falls into our laps from the stars as they watch us unfold the pages, rustling through leaves and forests and seas that flood the gates

of our ventricles,

every written heartbeat, every written text, smile and something that feels like home, it feels

like home but riddles and riddles and so many nothingnesses, it's like halls of a maze and I am walking towards your pulse, all these veils billowing in my face

and the pages of our scriptures litter the caverns of every minute, days that interweave

and every belief

is a bird swishing its wings through the air,

with grace. Can you feel me, can you hear my heart as it beats like sonar, like wings, like something

that feels like home?

© Anna S. 2023