p3ryt0n

[p3ryt0n]

logan howlett x chubby!fem!reader.

Imagine Logan but like Logan in X-Men 1, swooning around Jean until she has a mission, so he actually starts to check the mansion around.

And, oh, he almost wants to kill himself when he sees you, the phycology teacher.

You are simply soft, you wear your cute outfits, a lot of 2000s fashion, your chubby belly squeezed in your clothes, making you look like a damn tease for him, so freaking turned on and with the feral need to nibble at your hips violently.

He almost wants to rip your flesh, like when you see a really cute puppy. You are not just cute. I mean, you are pretty cute, yeah, but you are hot, like fucking burning hot.

When Jean comes back from her mission, he sees Logan following you around like a lost puppy, and she thinks that was gonna stop after a few days, but it didn't, he was all over you all the time.

And with you, he discovered what Jean didn't give him and he craved. Jean only gave him some glances that didn't lead to anything, some flirty comments that died after being said. But you? You did all that with him and actually approached, actually tried back, it was clearly mutual, and how it always had to be. Two grown-ups flirting with each other's type.

And oh, Logan was weak for a woman like you, he would tattoo the face you put the first time he lifted you, you squealed and giggled around him.

And if you are a tall woman, he loves seeing you in heels, being as tall as him, and how his hands reach your ass comfortably. And of course, he loves the moment when you can't barely walk and he gets to lift you bridal style.

He is simply obsessed, and can't believe he didn't meet you before because he was all around Jean, so he cherished every second he spent with you.

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Bucky knowing he’s adorable. He knows all he has to do is bat his baby blues and it'll make anyone fold instantly. He's become such a little shit about it too, because he acts so oblivious while knowing exactly what he's doing.

“For fucks sake. No. NO. Do not look at me with those puppy eyes it won’t work” Sam shook his head, refusing to look at Bucky's face while the soldier blinked innocently with a small pout on his lips.

"I didn't do anything" he shrugged, acting as if he hadn't swiped the last cookie with the evidence sprinkled on the front of his shirt.

"You're something else" Sam grumbled, rolling his eyes at the puppy like look Bucky had on his face, "You can't keep making that face and getting away with this, keep your grubby hands away from my oreos"

Sam only manages to keep up the act for so long before reluctantly opening a new box, pushing it towards the brunette who smirks, swiping another handful.

"Unbelievable"

-

"Who the hell broke another punching bag in the gym-

“He’s right behind me isn’t he” Tony deadpanned, knowing Bucky was slinking about somewhere, batting his brown lashes, making his job 100 times harder. "Barnes I swear-

The billionaire turned around to find Bucky tiptoeing around the mess he made with wide, remorseful eyes making the billionaire groan.

"Don't look at me like some dame in the 40's, that cute face won't work on me"

"Did you just call him cute"

"Shut up"

"Well, you're not wrong"

-

"Bucky you're late" you frowned as he ran over to you, dressed in all black, ready to take you to dinner.

"M'sorry doll" He pouted, burying his face into your neck, "Didn't mean to keep you waiting"

"You're doing it again, this is cheating, you can't keep acting adorable and getting away with being late to our dates" you huffed, eventually melting into his needy cuddles, missing his little naughty smirk. Of course he didn't actually mean to be late and he really was sorry but he loved when you fell for his sweet charm.

"Did you see that? That little smirk he just made" Sam hissed while Steve snorted, lowkey happy to see this version of Bucky making its way back. "He gets away with everything, it isn't fair"

"Well I think it's adorable" Nat smiled watching him dote on you while Steve hummed in agreement. "He's a little cutie"

"He's a little shit"

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I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

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I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

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enough of the sad, here’s some fluff

[p3ryt0n]

Christians hate when a gay man goes “fuck it, I’ll gladly go to Hell if you want me to so bad” because it takes the edge away from their tools of fear. If they can’t scare you with threats of eternal damnation then one of their main weapons is taken away.

[p3ryt0n]

Just found out my facebook birding group is public because my cousin (a lawyer who is not into birds) casually said to me “saw you couldn’t identify a willet the other day… pretty embarrassing”

[p3ryt0n]

(Author’s note:Thanks for sending in your request @just-mimebomb !)

Douxie x female!reader:

When douxie is having trouble with songwriting you help him by brainstorming.Which he repays you by bringing you to one of his band concerts and you get to meet his band mates after the concert is done.

You have given stickers to douxie to put on his guitar which he puts them on.As he thanks you and really likes the skull sticker you got for him.

If you want to dye your hair or just do one or two highlights, douxie will help you.Whether you're dying your hair the same color as his bangs or the color you want.

He will bring your favorite snacks and drinks whenever you're feeling down or having a bad day.As watching your favorite movie and cuddling with you.

Douxie wouldn't be mad if he found you softly strumming his guitar while he was working.He would ask if you wanna learn how to play it and if you don't he wouldn't mind.

If you do say yes then he'll show you the basics of it.First using his lute and see if you're good to start playing his guitar.

He would do short quizzes on the things he taught you.So you can memorize it and know how to play it.

Even if you do get one wrong douxie would encourage you to continue.When you do get a note right he'll give you a peck or a compliment of how much you've grown in playing.

Douxie surprises you with your own electric guitar which is your favorite color and has your name on it.He even bought you some cute stickers to put on it.

Douxie has written some songs about you which he hoped you didn't find.But you did with the help of Archie, which douxie was so embarrassed.

To find you reading some papers he swore he hid from you.Since he wrote them into songs about you. 

"Archie how could you!"douxie said trying to grab for archie from the bed but couldn't

"Sorry douxie but they said they would give me smoked salmon which they did."archie said as he was hiding underneath the bed

You blushed at the details he put into the songs.As you continued reading them finding all the sweet things he wrote into them.As the dates he took you on and how happy he was to have you as his girlfriend.

Douxie did end up playing one of the songs which you recorded for safe keeping.Since you wanted to keep this memory as it was special.

Douxie doesn't mind you "stealing" his jackets or his shirts since you look cute in them.Some of his shirts are from bands that you've listened to before.

Douxie would play your favorite songs on his electric guitar when he has the time.If not he makes you playlists that you'll like.

Douxie would introduce you to rock and some of his favorite bands.Which after a while you like them too getting some of their merch for douxie when it's his birthday or you wanna give him a gift.

Douxie does the same mostly in jewelry or shirts.If said band sells jewelry which you have so many earrings now as a couple of band shirts.

When it comes to pda douxie is okay with it but he wouldn't over step your boundaries.Douxie likes cuddling with you the most since it helps him calm down and helps him to go to sleep more quicker.

Douxie loves it when you play with his hair as he finds it relaxing.He even lets you dye his hair when his bangs need to be re-dyed.

He helps you with your hair if you're having trouble doing it.Douxie would re-do it if it starts falling apart.

Douxie would get you hair accessories if you want any.If you start eye-balling a certain hair accessory he would get it for you as a surprise.

You always make sure douxie would get enough sleep since you've noticed his eye bags.From how many hours he does at his two jobs.

You're there to pick him up when he's done with work.If not you go to his job to deliver a lunch that you made for him.Which douxie hugged you and gave you a quick peck for making lunch for him.

"Thank you so much love for making me this lunch.I bet it's going to be good since it's your cooking um y/n you there?"douxie asked you waving a hand in front of your face

"Y-yeah I'm here also it's not a problem really.You're a hard worker so I wanted to do something for you."you said to him before waving goodbye since douxie was about to be off break

After that you started making him lunches for work.Some of them archie helped you with since you would make him something to eat too.

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Orihime and the rest of the Karakura Squad try to show Grimmjow, Hallibel, and Nel stuff in the Human World. They’re confused by the large amount of entertainment humans make and consume, and Orihime enjoys showing them different television shows. 

Grimmjow likes watching UFC matches and movies like Snatch and Reservoir Dogs with a shit ton of violence and crime, and is also a (secret) fan of telenovelas. He also begrudgingly sat down to watch Steven Universe with Orihime, Hallibel and Nel, but he only likes it when Jasper is on screen. Side note, Hallibel is THE biggest Garnet fan in the world (with Chad being a close second)

Hallibel likes competitive cooking shows like Chopped (she thinks it’s intriguing how something so mundane like making food can be made into something more intense when it’s a competition) and nature documentaries. Compared to Hueco Mundo, the World of the Living has such a diverse array of wildlife and she wants to learn as much about the flora and fauna of the world as possible.

Nel likes animated shows, regardless of who the target audience is (she likes shows meant for older audiences like Bojack Horseman, classic-era Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, etc. and ones for younger audiences like Spongebob, Steven Universe and Looney Tunes). She also adores The Good Place.

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My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."

He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."

He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"

I did.

"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."

It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.

So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.

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Regardless of what you think of this tree… this comment was my favourite out of the collection of people who didn’t know deer shed their antlers every spring