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Jeremiah: Xavier. Have you ever had an argument with MC?

Xavier: Me and MC don't argue.

Jeremiah: Oh nice!

Xavier: She tells me, 'shut up' and I do.

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What a polite baby

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not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

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non-practicing slut. is this anythign

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me: why are the pillows always so fucked up

my cat:

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I can think of any number

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Omg New Sylus Chat Interaction!

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in World War 1 around 8 million horses died but in World War 2 it was under a million which can only mean horses started to evolve bullet resistance

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Alright, I hate Canon Sylus, so from here on out, I will be strictly talking about Fanon Sylus. These are my headcanons, I'm posting them incase anyone else may feel the same.

Also if somebody can tell me how to collapse this, or "read more" I will edit it

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He's still the leader of Osiris- or whatever. But the way we met is different.

He saw us fighting and fell in love, wanting a woman who could keep up with him.

The way we interact is like a more rowdy Gomez and Morticia Addams.

He says one thing.

We shoot back.

And we're just a menace of a couple.

AAAAAAAAND....

I think threatening him would be his turn on.

Imagine staring into his eyes with a crazed look. Hand around his throat pressing- not choking him. But just enough pressure to keep him there.

"I won't hesitate to slice you neck to navel, fishing around your insides, pull out your still beating heart, and eat it in front of your eyes."

Sylus, staring breathlessly at you, not because of your hand, but because of your words.

He mutters.

"O h m y g o d ... . . Marry me~"

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We either talk to eachother like Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia, sexually tension flirting.

Or we talk about how we'd kill him. And he wants to hear more.

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Mephisto is like a child with divorced parents. One week he's with Sylus, next week he's ours.

ALSO! Crows know how to talk like Parrots!

So imagine MC secretly teaching him how to talk, but it's the same as parrots!

"Whatcha doing? *kissy noises* Waaaaaaah."

And idk bout yall, but I desperately wanna hear a Crow singing that Earth Wind and Fire song XD

We hand him back to Sylus and he calls us frantically.

"What the hell did you do to my bird?"

Meanwhile you just hear loud rhythmic cawing in the background.

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Sylus tends to treat us like a kid, then changes his tune when he senses our blood lust.

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I have a reoccurring scene in my head of MC accompanying Sylus to a meeting with a different mob family.

MC stands behind him while He sits across the other boss.

The boss has his eye on her, and suddenly states.

"Quite the beauty. To solidify this union, why don't we trade?"

Intrigued, Sylus makes a noise, inviting the man to continue. The boss points a fat, bejeweled finger at MC.

"Gimme that one~" You can see the lewd, disgusting thoughts in his eyes as he licks his lips.

MC is disgusted, Sylus however chuckles.

"Sure, why not~?"

Before MC can day anything, he adds-

"Treat him how you do me~"

She grins widely, showing her canines. Agreeing, she saunters over to the other boss, before fully round house kicking him across the room.

"He told me to treat you the same as I do him. But he would've been able to block that easy~"

Cracking her knuckles, she approaches the trembling figure.

"After all, I train with him regularly~"

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If I think of more I'll make a thread.

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Xavier: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

MC: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Xavier, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

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Sometimes having a reputation for being smart beats actually being smart.

I once beat my school’s chess champion in a game because he spent the entire match desperately trying to work out my strategy because I was “smart” and therefore good at chess.

We were playing with a Lord of the Rings chess set. I was moving the characters I liked best.

I’m terrible at chess.

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Sylus: Something’s off.

MC: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

Sylus: No, but that’s funny.