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[page-mistress]

Heck, I'm just happy to see most of my favorites have nice things said about them. I even agree to being so used to Rogal with facial hair that pictures without it looking lacking. Not bad, but it's like ice cream without toppings versus ice cream with toppings. Still good ice cream, but it can be made even better.

As for Lion, I will say that he looks far better with a beard than he did before. Gives him an Authurian brand of handsome. I'm biased because as someone on the spectrum, I kinda identify with him. So if we continue with the rice thing, I will say that he is now rice seasoned with salt and butter, at least. Nothing fancy, but better.

Konrad Curze is handsome, but only in a “sewer monster” sort of way. He looks like he crawls out from under a manhole cover at night and eats unwary children. He looks like the thing that pennywise doesn’t want to find in his sewer. He doesn’t look like he knows what soap is, and if he does, he hates it. He looks damp and greasy and horrible, but I appreciate that about him.

This much is better than how Roboute Guilliman looks, because he’s handsome in the dullest way possible. Which to say, he’s so “conventionally handsome” that it loops back around, and he just looks boring. He looks like he’s about to ask me if I know why he pulled me over. He looks like gets excited to do his taxes. He looks like a wartime propaganda poster. He looks like a brand deal for astartes pattern toothpaste, and I hate him.

Neither of them hold a candle to Sangiunius, obviously; but no one does, so it’s ok.

[page-mistress]

Mortarion: First I reap my crops, then I reap my pops.

Angron: First I rally the slaves, then we dig your graves.

Khan: First I lead the horde, then I stab with my sword.

Lion: First I kill these beasts, then I attend royal feasts.

Roboute: WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP?

Dorn: First I will fortify the base. Then I will put you in your place.

Sent by Anon.

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SHES COMING 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[page-mistress]

Little primarchs grow quickly, but their favorite horses don’t.

[page-mistress]

“But surely you jest, M’Lord Vect.” the waifish alien mused, sipping from a fluted glass of some unknown intoxicant as she lounged back in her seat. The trueborn daughter of one of the high Archon’s senior Dracons, few could have enjoyed such casual conversation with a figure as imposing and feared as Asdrubael Vect.

“Please, you know my jests, dear Kaitria. If I were attempting to fool you it would be far less obvious and yet far more humorous. The creature is indeed a Mon’keigh.” the grand overlord chuckled through closed lips, eyes flashing for a moment in time with a great cheer from the crowds below.

Keep reading

[page-mistress]

I'm begging for some vulkan headcanons he's the goodest boi

hell yeah love that guy. same disclaimer as always; if i contradict canon, my L, i am big silly

the first time he died, he was very young. he’d been playing around alone, unsupervised, and he fell from somewhere too high. he woke up a few hours later, in his adoptive father’s arms. n’bel was crying. vulkan didn’t yet know what death was

an extraordinary cook. if you like spices

his first thought when he first saw corvus corax was “...is he ill??”, unfortunately

has regular nightmares about caldera. and about isstvan. and about being tortured by curze. and about his past deaths. has, just, incredibly regular nightmares in general. there’s one that reocurs often where he turns into curze, he hates that one

he likes to avoid said nightmares by going increasingly longer without sleeping, or by sleeping around other people, which -- helps. it does lead to him being found cooking at 3am because he hasn’t eaten in a hot minute, but i think waking up at 3am because you smelled spices and meat and got hungry is like, a fair trade, and so does vulkan, so he’s not stopping

(as an addendum, although i think i’ve mentioned this before? he’s just generally a stress cooker. like a stress baker, but for meal prep. lots of food made over an open fire, obviously, but just in general cooking. he likes to help however he can, and food was always welcome in nocturne, and most death worlds anyway -- so cooking centers him).

also re: sleeping around other people, it can mean either him cuddling with someone else or simply just... taking a nap around someone else. has crashed on ferrus’s forge before. has also slept multiple times on corvus’s couch. 0 nightmares. it’s like magic

short hair was always practical on nocturne (for everyone, not just men) and he’s kept the look, so he isn’t really sure if long hair would suit him, but he’s always been curious

thinks salamanders (the animal) are kind of cute, in their own way

will come to your birthday party. will do party tricks with your birthday cake’s birthday candles

ferrus used to bitch with him about fulgrim, so he still knows insane amounts of shit about fulgrim and it’s colored his already incredibly negative opinion

(one of) the reason(s) why he’s so infinitely pissed with the eldar (dark or not) to the point of being able to be swayed to burning a planet because they worshipped eldar for saving them from the dark eldar (reading abt this stuff on the wiki threw me for two separate loops, ngl) is because n’bel lost his spouse to an eldar raid shortly before vulkan arrived, and since him being a primarch meant he grew up fast, it meant vulkans childhood was primarily characterized by n’bel’s grief. vulkan really would’ve liked a second parent

[page-mistress]

...I think I would watch that.

The Ghostbusters theme song but it’s set to the image of Angron in a tan jumpsuit angrily choking a warp entity out with a vacuum cleaner hose in a hotel lobby while a similarly dressed Rogal calmly takes down notes on the whole affair in the background. Citizens and hotel staff watch on in horrified fascination.

[page-mistress]

Primarchs According to Pop Tart Flavors:

Horus: starts out as s’mores but then turns to frosted grape and eventually just mashed up and burnt pop tart goo.

Jaghatai Kahn: hot fudge sundae and confetti cake because they’re the only two with enough sugar to propel him faster than a motorcycle.

Leman Russ: brown sugar cinnamon but he dunks it in beer for breakfast.

Fulgrim: Wild berry, but he eats it with a fork and knife.

Ferrus Manus: unfrosted brown cinnamon.

Vulkan: cookies and cream but he toasts it so long that it’s completely burnt and is more like a large and burnt tortilla chip.

Rogal Dorn: unfrosted strawberry(but he cuts the crust off).

Perturabo: the crusts that came off Dorn’s pop tart.

Sanguinius: Simply frosted harvest strawberry (the “healthy” flavor).

Lion El’Johnson: chocolate chip but scarfs down jolly rancher green apple when no one is looking.

Robute Guilliman: frosted blueberry.

Konrad Kurze: pumpkin pie but replaces the filling with nacho cheese and gives it to whomever he hates the most today.

Corvus Corax: pop tarts are too cheery for him, but he still eats cinnamon roll flavored.

Mortarion: A&W rootbeer and gatorange, eaten at the same time and downed with a monster Energy.

Magnus the Red: Cherry and Chocolatey Strawberry, but always untoasted.

Angron: usually whatever he doesn’t crush in his hands as he opens the packet, but usually raspberry and Strawberry milkshake.

Alpharius Omegon: they get their pop tarts from a featureless white box with the words, toaster pastries, in blocky font and quotations printed on it. Inside is just unmarked foil packages that have no clues to what’s inside. The packs are just a literal grab bag of random flavors, some discontinued, some rare, and some never before seen...

Lorgar: Unfrosted store brand popping toaster pastry.

[page-mistress]

...okay, when and where did that sewer goblin write this? I might read just so I can see proof.

So if anything Ian Watson writes can be considered even vaguely cannon Rogal Dorn has “lush tough lips”

[page-mistress]

an exploration in waves

[page-mistress]

...I'm sorry, but why are we calling Moana a water bender? Did... did you guys that she is friends with THE OCEAN? That is just Moans asking her buddy for help, and Ariel swimming in it so it gets into the best shape for helping.

Ultimate Disney Princess Team Up  

Wreck It Ralph 2

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[page-mistress]

I suddenly want to see her perform. I want to see this woman on stage, because I look at these and I can tell it would be an amazing experience.

“I come from a favela in Brazil. I am black. I have a poor family. Yet, despite all those odds, I became a ballerina. I had to get by on my own [upon arriving in New York at the age of 19 on a full scholarship to the Dance Theatre of Harlem]. That’s when I grew up and learned to appreciate what my parents taught me. I’m not here [at Dance Theatre of Harlem] because I’m poor. I’m here because of my dancing.” —Ingrid Silva

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Linda Friesen Haute Couture Gowns

[page-mistress]

Donald Trump gets attacked by an eagle.

This eagle truly represents America. What a majestic symbol.