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Mountaintops and Other Dangerous Terrain

Part 04: In Sight

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"The road back was long, full of ups and downs, but I kept on, because I knew that, eventually it would lead me back to you."

Damn...

...was the only thought in his mind as he trudged alongside the abandoned train track. He had been on autopilot for some time now, placing one foot in front of the other, working to block out all of the pain and the desperation. Even his thoughts of her were fading as survival became his only focus.

He hadn't seen signs of life for quite a while. Perhaps he had been wrong in his choice to take the road less traveled. There was no turning back now, even if he was strong enough to get to the base of the mountain his pursuers would be close.

However, he had to stop soon. His leg, which had been merely a limp before, was now dragging in the dirt behind him. each step extending shocks of agony to the other side. Breathing had become painful as his bruised ribs were swelling and constricting his lungs making each gasp of air increasingly torturous. His throat stung with damage from the smoke. He needed shelter and water or he wouldn't make it. If he didn't find something quickly, he would have to break his promise to her.

He didn't break promises to those he cared about. It was something that he took pride in. It wasn't that he had necessarily been virtuous or even compassionate in his dealings in the past, but he did have certain ideals that he held in high regard. She had reminded him of other ideals that he had long let go of. He wanted to be a better man for her and he was slowly becoming that. A better man who, though he carried baggage from his own vindictive and sometimes cruel behavior, had been shown the errors of his ways through the love of a good woman. A better man who was trying desperately to survive long enough to prove to himself and to her that he could use his skills to make the world a brighter place and to be someone that she was proud to call hers. He would continue, one step at a time, because he would not break a promise to her. He would prove himself to be a worthy person. It was important to him now that he had someone in his heart, and someone worth living for.

Because of this desire to prove himself and because of his desire to fulfill a promise, he pushed forward following the tracks mindlessly. stopping only occasionally to look for any sign of respite through the trees. There had to be something nearby. A dilapidated barn or a long-abandoned factory would be more than sufficient for his rest. In truth, almost anything would be sufficient at this point. He was in the woods, surrounded by many trees, but following so closely to the tracks left his weepy and tender skin exposed to the sun which seemed to beat down on him mercilessly, punishing him for all of the things he had done wrong. He hoped there would be an old well or pump house, maybe even a stream, somewhere soon. This forest had to be getting its life from somewhere.

Exhaustion setting in, he found a boulder in the shade among the trees to rest on for a bit. This was a fine place to catch his breath and decide whether to adjust his route or not. He could change paths and venture deeper into the forest, but it was easy to get lost that way and he couldn't really take a chance at ending up back at the mine. He also couldn't follow the tracks for very much longer without some sort of building or outcropping in which to hide.

With his head in his hands, he began to realize just how exhausted he really was. About to give up hope, he was beginning to think that staying at this rock, sheltered under the trees was the best option he had. There was shade here and maybe water close by, maybe he could forge some sort of shelter from nearby branches. He had watched videos of people doing such things, surely he could do what they had done. Normally, when his body was healthy, he could have, but the problem was, that his leg was practically useless and his ribs made it hard to breathe or move. It would be impossible for him to drag tree branches through the woods, tie them together, or be able to make his enclosure invisible enough to hide under.

He allowed himself briefly to think of her, of what she must be feeling. She must be afraid, maybe mourning the loss of him. She would be no doubt wondering if it was her fault that he was there in the first place. He wondered if Alan had put pressure on her, pelleting her with questions that she had no answers to.

He wondered how she was coping with the loss of Richy, another thing that she probably felt guilty for. She took the world on her shoulders and carried the safety of her friends as her responsibility. It was one of the things he loved about her, but it was to her own detriment that she tried to solve everyone's woes. He hadn't seen the world from that perspective before her.

He hoped that Richy died in that fire, if not, he was going to kill him with his own hands. He caused so much pain to MC and to Jessy. He was in this place because of Richy's poor choices. He was separated from her with no communication and no way of letting her know that he was still alive and his love for her was stronger than ever.

His anger fueled him to action. He was going to get to her, Richy was not going to win. Dragging his body off of the rock, he turned toward the woods and noticed he hadn't seen before, a dark spot through the trees. It could be a building or a boulder. It could simply be a mirage, but one thing was for sure. It was something. Maybe something that could save him. It filled him with exactly what he needed. His anger was replaced with hope. Hope that he can find rest and heal, hope that he can stay out of the sight of his pursuers, and, most importantly, hope that he would make his way back to her and someday into her arms.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Jake: What?

Jake: Did you?

MC: Yes

Jake: Are we?

MC: Yes.

Jake: When?

MC: About nine months...

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Beautiful and heartbreaking....

𝙇𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝘼𝙩 𝙄𝙩𝙨 𝘽𝙚𝙨𝙩

Character: Jake (mention of Jake x MC (she/her))

Warnings: Angst - !Major character death! - Burning wounds/injuries - Sad memories - Loneliness - Last breath - (anything else?)

A/n: Well, I don't exactly know what this is. Just a short random some some. I only had the last sentence and I wanted to do anything with it. I had many idea but this one was the only one I could get down. I've not really checked for mistakes or if it's too fast or whatever, so I'm sorry. It's probably very sloppy. But I still hope it's somehow enjoyable for you. Please don't judge for wrong wording xD My brain isn't braining but I was happy to get something done. Whatever, thanks for reading. 💚

The forest was suffocatingly quiet and was only interrupted by occasional crackling of extinguishing ember in the distance.

Jake staggered through the dense forest, every move was a terrible effort and only the adrenaline allowed him to walk at all. His skin, blistered and raw, withered with every movement.

The fire had come out of nowhere for him, he was surprised by the explosion, seconds later some walls collapsed. The flames ate their way through the stone corridors so quickly, climbing from one wooden support to another and the heat devoured everything, relentlessly. He ran through the ever narrowing tunnels, only his memories drove him to the place where the last hidden exit lay, about which he had not told anyone. It was his ace up in his sleeve. But to his horror, fire had already broken out there. Yet, it was his only way to escape.

The moment he wanted to pass the last passage, another pillar broke in and knocked him to the ground.

The flames threw itselves at him, robbing the fabric of his jacket, digging down to his skin.

The next few minutes he blacked out, not aware how he had freed himself and got out of this mine.

Next thing he knew was how he threw his backpack, jacket and mask on the floor, which he had only carried in his hand, just like himself, to suffocate the last ember.

The FBI agents had surrounded the place and their voices echoed through the trees as they searched for him.

Now, far from the burning debris, Jake finally collapsed on the cold ground. It was miles from civilization, surrounded by towering trees and stars glistening in the clear night sky. The pain was unbearable, every breath reminded him of the rage the fire carried.

He looked up into the sky, the stars shining as bright as ever. It seemed peaceful, an ice-cold contrast to the inferno he had escaped just minutes ago.

Right now he was thinking about the countless hours he had spent in front of glowing screens, the thrill of maneuvering out those who wanted to catch him. But now that he was consciously facing death, everything seemed meaningless.

The forest ground was hard and merciless, but in the silence of the night there was a calming atmosphere.

His thoughts drifted away, fragments of memories and regret interwoven with pain. He had been a loner his whole life, a ghost in the machine, now he was just a shadow between the trees.

He never thought his life would end like this, but somehow it was okay for him, he was tired. Tired of the fight, tired of life on the run.

If there weren’t the thoughts of MC creeping in the back of his head. He believed that this was the only thing he really regretted; never seeing her in reality, never kissing her. Above all, the broken promise that he would still be there after Hannah’s discovery would be broken, and he could do nothing about it.

The cold slowly crept through his body, the hacker’s breath flattened. His powers waned and the stars above him blurred into a hazy vortex.

His life, marked by secrets and loneliness, slipped out of his fingers. In his last moments he found comfort in the quiet beauty of the night sky, a reminder that even in his darkest hour he was part of something greater.

His insides showed him single pictures of his youth, single pictures of his mother, he saw the emails he had exchanged with Hannah. And he saw MC, the pictures he had seen of her. The sky gave him peace, but not as much as seeing her eyes, her lips, her laughter one last time.

He could have done many things differently in his life, he could have prevented many things, so many chances he had not taken. So many missed situations, so many untapped opportunities. But he wouldn’t have regretted anything as much as missing the moment to confess his love to her. It was almost as if he knew how this night would end.

He had gathered all his damn courage and refused to leave until he had told her what he felt for her. It was the scariest and biggest thing he had ever done, but she had returned his love. Without hesitation, without thinking. She loved him.

And while he was lying here, this thought comforted him very much. His life was not beautiful, but her light had finally led him through the darkness. Even though all this had brought him to exactly this point, it had made his last months on earth the most wonderful time he had ever had. And he was happy to learn what it feels like to be loved. How it is when there was someone who was worried and someone who was happy when he showed up.

MC had given him everything he wished to feel.

And how do they say? 'Leave when it's at its best'

With a final, trembling breath, Jake closed his eyes, the hacker who had eluded his capture until the end. The forest stood as a silent witness, the stars above twinkling in eternal indifference as Jake’s life disappeared in the night.

His vision blurred, the world around him darkened as his body succumbed to the injuries.

Long live the hacker, long live the love.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Mountaintops and Other Dangerous Terrain:

03: Derailed

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"The road back was long, full of ups and downs, but I kept on, because I knew that, eventually it would lead me back to you."

It was almost dawn when he viewed the bottom of the mountain. Almost dawn. He had to take advantage of what was left of the dark. Managing to push the thought of her out of his mind for a time and knowing that his concentration was key to his survival, he had been able to turn his focus to each step. Sometimes the path smoothed out, but a few times, the path simply ended and he appeared on the edge of a cliff with no idea how far down the drop beneath him would be. He tried to ignore the creaks of branches behind him and tune out the thought that he could, at any instant be a tasty dinner for a bear or wolf.

He was confident in most things. He knew how to stop criminals, he could change someone's future with the click of a key on his phone. He could rationalize and solve a myriad of problems, but he had no idea how to defend himself against a bear attack or see wilderness dangers in the dark. He supposed that this was a skill he should brush up on when all of this was over. If he survived and made it to her there were lots of things he needed to brush up on. Though he didn't like being afraid or feeling powerless, he was determined to push through, not allowing those thoughts to get the better of him.

Somehow without knowing how he accomplished such a task, he was almost to the bottom. It had been hours of walking and fighting the emotions that would weaken him. His steps regained some of their vigor at the thought of conquering the mountain and reaching toward those train tracks.

The bleeding had stopped a while ago, but left behind congealed blood caked to his body, the scrapes that covered his arms had stung every time he walked into a branch. His leg was turning purple and was a bit swollen. He needed to rest, but he couldn't stop, not yet. It wasn't a safe place to stay, one flashlight from his pursuers pointed in the wrong direction would identify him and then all would be lost. He couldn't get caught. He wouldn't do that to her.

If he only had his first aid kit and some water.

And time. He had no idea how long it would take them to find his tracks or simply stumble upon something that would lead them directly to him.

Suddenly, about a hundred feet from the place he saw the train, from the path he had chosen to follow, he found a seemingly abandoned railroad tie. Then he found another. And another after that. This must be and old bit of track. Weeds had grown up around the rails, nature having taking its rightful place. The train that he had intended to follow was headed south, this track veered to the southwest. He had a choice to make. Both tracks led away from the mines and the people there.

One path, the newer one, would certainly lead to buildings and more signs of a town, hopefully abandoned. Hopefully he could sneak into a shelter and find a place to rest. This route would also probably give him some access to water and hopefully he could find some bandages and alcohol to purify his wounds. It would also be easier for his pursuers to find him. It wouldn't be hard to figure that he followed the tracks. Jake knew this path would require much more stealth and planning.

The old route would give him a better chance to hide and more time to rest as it was difficult to see from a distance, but without shelter the quality of recuperation would be poor and he would more than likely be devoid of supplies. It might offer anonymity and with that came safety. If he had time to heal, perhaps he could blend in with other people much later down the road.

His body hunched over and his head fell in his hands at the thought of making this decision and the implications that the wrong choice would bring. Usually, he had very little problem with making a decision. He could quickly weave through the pros and cons of any situation and choose the best course of action without a struggle. Right now, he was in pain, a lot of it. He was hungry and thirsty and exhausted. He had barely escaped with his life. Right now, all he wanted to do was see her, and tell her that he loved her and let her know that he would do everything in his power to be there with and for her.

You will never be able to see her, to fulfill any dreams, or to ease her worry if you don't keep focused and get you lazy butt of of this rock.

He chided himself because he had to. This decision had to be made with urgency, he had to get to her and there was no way to do that without moving ahead. He didn't like it when there was no clear plan, but a plan wasn't possible today. He was not allowed to mourn his situation either. This was the fate that had been thrust upon him and he had to do the best he could. He would do it. He would find the strength to push forward. She was worth the pain. Her love was worth everything.

He looked at the well-traveled path and the hidden one, pausing as if to reconcile his decision. Then, with a sigh, he picked himself up off the rock that he had been leaning against, which was a feat in and of itself, and headed toward survival and a future with her.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Mountaintops and Other Dangerous Terrain:

01: Escape

(part 2)

"The road back was long, full of ups and downs, but I kept on, because I knew that, eventually it would lead me back to you." **

He stood at the top of the mountain, his shirt bloodied and torn. Ash and sweat covered his skin cloaking his appearance in the night sky. One shoulder stung with pain, yet despite all of this, he relished the fact that his face was free to feel the cool air as his mask, the one that made him feel safe for so long, had been lost in his escape. Though fire filled his lungs, he would not be deterred on a night such as this. Somehow, the the air never felt as fresh as it did in this moment and as he tried desperately to replace the poisoned air with the crisp, clean oxygen that the mountaintop provided, he could only wonder how the stars had retained their magic after sitting for so long in the night sky. He could only see the words she had texted only a few hours ago. He could only feel the swelling of his heart at the sight of them.

As the events unfolded in the valley, flashes of police lights and the commotion of those below filled the horizon. Everywhere there were lights, red and blue, and smoke billowing to the heavens. He watched the glow of flashlights enter and exit the cave, their brilliance swollen by the mist. He wondered how long it would take them to find his escape route. They were looking for him in the midst of the fire and the situation with Richy and Hannah. Alan had been on his track before the terrible events unfurled themselves and he didn't think Detective Bloomgate was a man to give up easily.

He should be nervous. He should be moving with cold calculation and a sense of urgency. Tonight however, there was a calm place in his heart that had been missing before. The lights which should be a warning that he needed a plan and fast, reminded him of Christmas and the times he had shared before his mother had passed, of the times he hoped to share with Macie. It was because of the warmth that she had filled his heart with. It would be the end of him if he couldn't regain his focus.

Things had not gone Richy's way and the group would all have to suffer from that man's poor choices. He should be angry, or saddened for them, and really, at the depth of things, he was, but all that he could feel was love and joy in the realization that she was the one who brought feeling back into his empty soul.

She had told him that she loved him. She had meant it and he had too. That had changed everything... in an instant.

She was only girl that had made him laughing a very long time, the one that broke down his walls, challenged him, and the one that would fight for him actually loved him. She had typed those glorious words and his heart started beating with hope for the first time he could remember. Was it possible that the stars really shone brighter in the night sky? Was it possible that the moon was bigger and brighter than it had been before those words came out of her mouth?

He knew that he still had to escape and find a path to freedom. Soon, he would have to move his thoughts from her and focus on the task at hand. The path ahead wouldn't be easy or fast, but he would get to the end of it for her.

He would find her. He had to. He made a promise to he and he was not a man to neglect a promise nor would he be a man to neglect her or her love.

The crowds were full of uniforms and flashing lights. Steam from the fire and the residual effects of an explosion clouded the air as he searched for her. He was about to stop looking, believing it to be too far away, when he saw one lone figure staring in his direction, right up the mountain. Right into his soul.

His heart leapt. If there had been any doubt that it was her, the increase in the beating of his heart was evidence of her identity.

He wanted to believe that she had seen him too, that somehow, despite all of the smoke and the sirens and the people, she could see the man who held her heart. He wanted to tell her many things, all of the things he had carried inside for so long, but his phone had been lost in the fire and there was no time for such a call. He wanted to run to her and hold her in his arms, let the world burn around them, but it was too dangerous and didn't offer a permanent solution. He felt his eyes lock on her figure and he couldn't look away. She stared into the darkness and he felt alive, knowing that she had chosen him. It didn't matter if she saw him or not, He saw her and knew that they would find each other sometime in the daylight.

He whispered lowly into the air, hoping that somehow his words reached her heart. "I love you. I am safe. I am trying hard to get you. The promises I made will come true. I am a man of my word and I can not be separated from you. Give me time, my love, and we can be together in all the ways that we dream of. You are all that I need or want and it is my mission to be by your side."

Jake took a deep breath and then broke his look from her.

Turning around to walk away was one of the hardest things that he ever had to do, but it would ensure their future, so he walked away as quickly as he could, one leg dragging behind him a little bit. Jake was in pain. He didn't have a safe place yet, but he would find one soon. Their future depended on it. A future with her was something that he was no longer willing or able to sacrifice. A smile grew across his face as he thought of her and their shared life, one full of love and other things he thought he would never again possess.

His lungs were scarred and the fog was cold, he had several unidentified injuries and he was almost positive that his leg had been seriously damaged, but he had never known the air to smell as sweet and the night had never seemed so comforting as it did right now. Her love wrapped him in hope and comfort.

His escape seemed possible because of his belief in her love.

He gave one last look over his shoulder and then he was off to find a place to heal, to find a new phone, and to find a way to be with her. There was only looking forward because she as there waiting for him at the end of this adventure.

** The quote is from an anonymous source. I documented it here in the first chapter as it will be the lead in all of the chapters.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Reunite

Because I’m not okay, I needed to find some form of refuge in my own head. :)  So, for all the broken hearts out there after finishing episode one of Moonvale, I decided to make a little AU – which a) Jake is more involved in, and b) will hopefully mend your souls as well as mine.  Also, slight Spoiler warning for episode one of Moonvale! 

Your smartphone blinks with an unread message. Frowning, you make a grab for the living room table, but before you can reach your phone, it dies. The screen just… goes black, your hand hovering uselessly over the device. 

“What the hell is going on,” you mumble. Did you forget to charge it? Granted, the last time you plucked it in was when you weren’t searching for some clues about Jake’s whereabouts. Considering you haven’t done anything else for the past couple of weeks, your battery’s crippling death isn’t surprising. 

You swallow against the feelings of guilt that seem to be stuck in your throat. Perhaps… some of the others have reached out to you? Since that day, you weren’t able to talk as much. Or, well. You couldn’t. Not until you found at least a slight trail of something, for the very least. Some hidden notice leading to Jake. Some news article that recalls an Anonymous mask. Some signs of life that he’d made it out, safe and sound. 

You know it’s unfair to them. You’ve read their messages. Jessy would write to you almost every day, asking how you were holding up. Occasionally, Dan would send you a meme he found on Reddit, sometimes titled, “that u?” or, “u and ur hacker”. (He must have known it would make you smile.) Cleo would message you about the projects she was currently  involved in, accompanied with pictures of homemade cookies and cake. Even Thomas, Hannah and Lilly would want your input in some of their discussions. 

As if they wanted to reach into the abyss to bring you back to the surface. 

You wouldn’t disappoint them. That, you promised yourself. If – When – you would answer them, it would be with a trail leading back to Jake. You couldn’t let them down. 

Shaking your head, you’re about to stand up when the display of your smartphone flashes on its own. It reboots, you realise, but not in its normal way. Instead, binary code zips down. Despite staring at it, you can’t help but hope. You know this piece of code. You’ve seen it before. 

It couldn’t… 

“Please,” you whisper, feeling cold sweat prickling on your skin as you keep staring at the display, not wanting to miss anything, “please, please, please let it be–” 

The screen darkens. It remains black. One second, two. After the third –

There’s a message loading. The letters appear slowly, one by one. 

The display reads,

You have a present in your mailbox. Come get it. 

You almost trip in your haste to stand up. Catching yourself at the last second you skip to the door of your apartment. And when you open it –

His dark hair swallows any light from the dim-lit halfway of your apartment building. Instead of his usual black hoodie, he wears a white shirt, even though it must be freezing in the starless night. He’s slim, and pale, and hasn’t looked away from your face even once, but it’s him. 

It’s him. 

You feel his name on the tip of your tongue but he beats you to it. Arms encircle you, and then you are engulfed by him, his scent and the feeling of his quick and steady heartbeat against your ear.

“You’re alive”, you murmur, and hug him back, and wonder if this is all still a dream, “How did you– Are you–?”

His chuckle is breathless. “I promised I would find you.” 

“A little warning would have been nice, you idiot!” You try to sound mad, but fondness is dripping heavenly from your voice. You can feel the smile he presses into the juncture of your collarbone and neck, even as you slap him lightly on his back. Where his lips touch you, your skin tingles. 

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” he says. 

“I'll try to remember that during my next cardiac arrest, thanks.” 

When Jake finally leans back, his eyes sparkle. Under his watchful gaze, you suddenly remember the state you’re in – day-old clothes, unwashed, loose hair, bags under your eyes from too much screen time. You try to hold back a grimace. “Sorry, I must–” 

“You’re beautiful,” Jake says, glancing at your nose, at your eyes. He cups your face with one hand. At your lips, his eyes linger and darken. “Don’t try to hide. Not from me. Please.”

“I’ve waited so long for you,” you whisper, feeling his hot breath mingle with yours. “Can you– Would you–?” 

“Always,” he breathes, leans forward and presses his mouth against yours. 

He’s kissing you like you’re something precious to him. Something delicate. Something to hold onto during dark days. His lips are warm, but firm, and their soft pressure against your own makes you feel light-headed. 

It’s all you’ve ever wanted. To feel him, to know him safe. To have his body close to yours, your hearts beating united, being connected with each other after a time of sorrow. And you know he must feel the same, as you angle your head to deepen the kiss, hearing him groan lowly against your mouth, you know he’s in a similar state of mind. 

It’s overwhelming in the best way possible. 

Liquid heat seems to run through your spine, sweet and thick as honey. When Jake pulls back, you can’t help but chase after him, pecking his lips, and again, and again. You want to hold onto him, now, and however long he wants you to.

You need a couple of seconds to realise that Jake whispers your name. You lean back, but only slightly, and press your forehead against his, carding your fingers through the strands of his hair in his nape. “Hm?” 

“I will explain everything you want to know,” Jake murmurs. His face is flushed, his eyes gleam with something tender. “I promise. But could we get inside first?” 

You smirk. “.. and continue where we left off?” 

“Hopefully.” 

You laugh when you see Jake biting his slightly swollen lips. He’s endearing. How can someone be so endearing? 

Only when you guide him inside your apartment, you realise he has a backpack with him, sitting at the edge of the front door. While he gets to make himself comfortable in the living room, you prepare some herbal tea for the both of you. While you wait for the water boiler to heat, you glance over your shoulder. 

Jake wanders around your living room, inspecting the book shelf, hands in his pockets. Though this is his first time in your apartment, he looks like he belongs. 

Here, with you.

The thought is liberating. 

While Jake reads on some of your books, you put the tea down on the table. Then, you notice your smartphone still lying there. After Jake hacked into it, it seemed there’s still an unread message sitting in your inbox. Now, that you have your clue, that you won’t disappoint them, you can finally give the group an answer. 

Grinning, you open your messenger –

Only to frown. 

You have a new chat with an unknown number. 

Hey 🙂

Staring at it, you feel arms wrapping around your body. Then, Jake’s chin is on your shoulder. “Is everything alright?” 

“I don’t know,” you say, showing him the message. “Do you know this guy?”

[paigenoelchas-blog]

|| I WILL FIND YOU ||

Duskwood (meets) Moonvale Oneshot

WARNINGS : contains Moonvale episode 1 spoilers

CHARACTERS: mostly Alan Bloomgate and Jake, with mentions of Richy and Mc ofc 😊

A/N: Hello, hello! 😊 Uhm, well, I kinda wrote something that might got inspired with the (very) end of Moonvale 🤭 So here, have my first Duskwood meets Moonvale oneshot! Hope you'll find it likeable! 💚 Oh, and please, don't mind any mistakes you might stumble upon, it's 2am here, and I'm barely keeping my eyes open 😅

The hell with the FBI!

Alan curse inside for the umpteenth time already, as he slowly and carefuly searched through the Duskwood forest. He was the bloody Chief of Duskwood's police, and the moment the FBI showed, they treated him as some kind of rookie?? Outrageous!

He was actually grateful to be alone right now, because if that arogant FBI's agent in charge once more addressed him with such undermining tone, he would punch him right in the face with all he got!

He stops for a short moment and takes a deep breath to calm his raging nerves. Continuing on, his thoughts began to wander back to all that happened ever since he managed to finally get in touch with Mc.

Could the outcome of this all be any different if he only listened to her, like REALLY listened, from the start?

Would he be able to stop the explosion that happened in the mine, and not wander around feeling guilty and responsible for the most probable demise of young Mr. Rogers? If only he trusted that little voice at the back of his mind just a bit more...

His train of thoughts suddenly gets interrupted by a rustling coming from a close vicinity.

"Who's there?" his voice comes out firm as he turns toward the source of the sound, his flashlight and gun pointed steadily in the same direction.

He waited for a moment, and when there was no response he tries again.

"My name is Alan Bloomgate, Duskwood's Chief of Police. I'm armed, so I suggest you come out, slowly, and show yourself."

"Don't shoot, I'm unarmed."

A short heartbeat later he grips his gun tighter as rustling comes once again from behind a tree a few feet away from him.

Alan watch as a young dark haired man slowly appears from behind the tree, and from the way the man moved, he immediately knew he wasn't alone either.

"Please, he needs help."

Alan stood still in his spot, closely paying attention to every move the dark haired man did. But when he finally looked at the other person, his eyes open wide.

"My god, Richy Rogers!"

Unable to keep both of them on their feet, the dark haired man collaps to the ground, Alan instantly movig towards them, putting his gun away.

"Is he all right?" he drops to his knees next to Richy, quickly putting his fingers on his neck to feel his pulse.

"I- I don't know." dark haired man replies, Alan detecting discomfort in his voice.

He turns his gaze to him, his expert eyes noticing right away some bloody stains all over his hoodie, which looked pretty torn on some places, too.

'And you? Are you all right?"

The black haired just nods before Alan speaks again "Mind telling me how you got out of the mine?

The young man tried to hide the surprise from his face at his question, Alan smirking in response "No need to act so surprised. After all, I have a pretty good guess who you are."

He could notice the young man tensing so he quickly speaks "Also, you do not have to worry - your seizing isn't at the top of my list right now." He turns his attention back to Richy "But helping him is - his pulse is very weak"

He starts to get back up, lifting Richy along in his arms. "So, if I were you, I would start moving in that direction."

"Wait!" the dark haired man calls confused afer Alan, who already started to walk from him in the opposite way "Why are you doing this? Letting me go - the FBI won't go easy on you for it."

"Screw the FBI!" Alan yells over his shoulder, but then stops and turns back "But if you must know, I owe it to someone - and that someone happens to be very fond of you."

The young man breaths in astonishing making Alan chuckle. But his face turns back serious again "But also, firstly and mostly, I am a police officer. So go now, use this leverage as best as you can. Because our next encounter won't be this pleasant."

The young man stare silently as Chief Alan turns and continue on his way. And even though he was tired and in a lot of pain, a smile crawled on his face as he watched Alan vanish among the dark of a forest "There won't be next encounter."

4 WEEKS LATER

Jake's eyes jumped all around the screen in front of him. His fingers were flying hastily over the numbers and letters on his keyboard. He wanted to do this as fast as possible. It already passed too much time before he managed to recover and acquire new equipment. And he also did not want to spend another second with the thought how Mc must be worried about him, not knowing if he's even alive.

And that thought pained him intolerably.

So he begin to type even faster, and not a minute later he leans back in his chair, waiting eagerly for confirmation tha she accepts the message he just sent her.

He didn't have to wait long for the sound alerting him of her acceptance, his hand lifting and hitting the enter key on his keyboard ao fast and hard, it was a miracle it didn't break.

With longing, he imagined her surprised face as she watched how Alan found his things in the forest, wishing that he could tell her in person that he is alive and well.

But just like that, that longing dispersed, and his face beamed with a smile, just like the one he knew for sure she has on her beautiful face right now, as his message came to its end and the image appeared on the screen:

A/N: I'm sorry, but I just had to use this picture! 🥺🥺😭😭💚💚

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Desire

Ever since he had investigated what you were like in person just to satisfy his own desire, Jake hadn't stopped dreaming about you.

Most of the time he thought he felt your fingers on his skin, he thought he felt the heat of your breath on his lips or the back of his neck.

He didn't have enough time to sleep, there was never a moment to allow himself that need and it was increasingly difficult to ignore that desire to fall into his dreams when every time he closed his eyes he found you.

You'd think he couldn't think of you that way, that he'd be more likely to think up tender, sweet scenarios with you (and he did), but his mind played tricks on him that he couldn't evade.

He felt embarrassed by what his imagination was showing him, it seemed like he was doing something wrong, but a small part of him wanted that contact.

Sometimes it wasn't even necessary to close his eyes. While he was trying to work on his computer, at times, a sudden thought would come. Your name would come to his head just because he was wondering what you were doing, and then the other thoughts would come in waves.

You next to him while he focused on his computer. He was aware that he was alone in the room, but if he tried hard, he felt that the wind coming in from the window was, in reality, your breath on his cheek while you rested your hands on the back of his chair, as if you were watching what he was doing on his computer even though you couldn't understand any of those codes.

He closed his eyes only in moments of great weakness. It was only a few seconds, but with the help of all the fatigue he was able to see you. Although as soon as he realized what he was doing, he opened his eyes.

Jake wasn't prone to letting himself go, he liked to have control over what he did or said, but lately, it seemed like he had less and less autonomy over himself.

One of his last dreams had been too realistic.

Your hands had begun to caress his hair, moving down his body, exploring every exposed part of his skin. Jake had felt as if after years of being in the desert he could finally find water to drink. You had caressed him with so much tenderness that it was inevitable that a couple of tears would slide down his face.

The "you" of the dream had kissed him and dried his tears tenderly. A soft moan had escaped his mouth when he felt the softness of your fleshy lips. He had pulled you towards him, cupping your face so he could kiss you again, but before that, you had slowly pushed him until he fell back onto the bed.

Human contact was never a need for him, it was never something he thought he would need as desperately as he did at that moment.

He remembered that you had run your fingers through his black hair, the feeling of them had been so real that Jake almost thought that you could really have been with him at that moment. You were so beautiful, someone could easily mistake you for an angel.

The angel who had come to save him.

Jake had grabbed you by the waist. He didn't wanted to wait, he didn't wanted to face the horrible reality of him and lose that moment. His hands were firm as he sat you down on top of his lap before crashing his lips hard against yours.

The heat of your body, the sensation of your touch, everything had seemed so real to him that when he woke up in bed he began desperately looking for you. It took him a moment to realize that you had never been with him in the first place.

Jake resigned himself to going back to sleep after that.

He had been staring into the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the screen of his computer showing the location of his pursuers. He didn't feel like continuing to run away, he thought about giving himself up like he did many times before meeting you, but this time, he was afraid of never having the opportunity to see you even from afar. Only that last bit gave him the strength he needed to pack his things and continue running.

The longing, the desire, the need.

You.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

No company “deserves loyalty” that’s an insane thing to say. Everbyte is not your friend. They are people working in a company for profit trying to make as much money possible. Moonvale has made that painfully clear. It’s not healthy to feel and encourage undying loyalty for any company no matter how small. Constructive criticism is not “hate” it’s necessary or things will never improve.

Constructive criticism is absolutely not hate, but not everything being written was constructive. There is also a way to give feedback without being hurtful. I didn't see a lot of kindness in the criticism and that is what I was commenting on, not of anyone's comments in particular, just the general commentary.

And loyalty may have been a poor word choice on my part, but I believe that you can understand what I was trying to convey even if the wrong word was chosen.

I am sorry that I offended. If you knew me offending people is the opposite attribute of the person that I am.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Moonvale

I have not finished Episode 1 so maybe I shouldn't be writing any of this, but I have some opinions about Everbyte.

1. I believe that they are going to do a fine job at weaving a story (Duskwood) that is so beloved into something new.

2. AI is here to stay, that fact sucks. It takes the ability for true artists to make a living, it removes creativity from the world and it deprives of a real emotion and depth of feeling in our art, but it is cheaper and easier to use than actors. I would have appreciated real people and the impact it would have made they had dealt with profiles in a different way, but if they are busy writing a good story and weaving Duskwood in and out of it, I can accept that some things have to be sacrificed.

3. It is hard to create a story. It is hard to program a computer game that is as full of life and creates as many feelings as Duskwood did for a lot of us. It is hard to please old fans and new ones at the same time. Certainly mistakes will be made. We have all made mistakes and will make more before we leave the Earth.

4. It is impossible to please everyone. A company that basically created this genre should be given the chance to try something new. They deserve our loyalty and at the very at the very least some human kindness and respect. They are people and no matter how much you disagree the should to be treated as such. Words hurt even if they are typed anonymously.

I may have a different opinion after I finish episode 1. I am just hoping that the team at Everbyte continues to produce this game with the passion and care that they have in the past. I personally want to play through this game and find out what they have done.

I don't like to push buttons or start fights or be involved in drama, but I feel bad for the game creators. I hope they know that some of us are still behind them and will follow all of the stories they plan to tell.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

even statues crumble if they're made to wait

Pairing: Jake x Fem!MC

Genre: Post-Episode 10 Duskwood, Post-Episode 1 Moonvale

Words: 8,916

Summary: It's been three months since the explosion in the mine. Three months since Hannah was found. And MC's accepted that Jake is never coming back. When she gets roped into another missing person's case, it makes for the perfect distraction. Jake is dead. It's fine. That is, until she finds herself on the phone with Alan Bloomgate who says he has something to show her. But it's fine. Jake is dead.

Until he's not.

EPISODE-1 MOONVALE SPOILERS AHEAD (MAYBE)!

[ A/N: Hello! :)

I know it's been a while since I've done this, but I finished Moonvale Episode 1 and if you've seen the ending (and used its Duskwood code), you know what happened and how excited I was to receive that bit of Duskwood. So, I took it and ran with it, and out came this extremely long fic. I did not proofread this as it took me literally almost 12 hours to write so it is completely and 100% me and my love for Jake and I hope you love it.

Side note: I suck with anything related to timelines, so I made one up on my own. I know Episode 1 of Moonvale takes place over the course of a day or two, but for the purpose of this fic, it made sense to make it longer, so it's not a typo, or me losing my mind, it's just the way my brain processed this.

Enjoy! :) ]

It’s been three months since the explosion in the mine.

Three months since Richy had been killed. Three months since Hannah was rescued. Three months since I had last spoken to Thomas or Cleo or Lilly or…or Jessy. I didn’t blame her then and I don’t blame her now. Any of them, really. I didn’t share the bond they had with each other. I wasn’t from Duskwood. It didn’t matter that we’d experienced a tragedy together—and yes, perhaps them more than me, but I loved Richy too. I had lost Richy too. And Jake—

But mostly, I think they just wanted to forget. To move on. They didn’t want to remember that their friend had been capable of…of that. And I was a constant reminder of that to them. So I understood why we didn’t necessarily talk anymore.

The one person I did keep in contact with from Duskwood, oddly enough, other than the occasional update from Alan Bloomgate, was Dan. We weren’t best friends or anything, but he allowed me to check in on our friends in a way that I didn’t know how to do with anyone else. Maybe because I thought he was the least affected among them. I knew he cared about Hannah, but he wasn’t to her what Thomas or Cleo or Lilly were. And he wasn’t to Richy what Jessy had been.

I’d learned from him that Thomas and Hannah had broken up. There was no bad blood, but Thomas hadn’t quite figured out how to accept the things he’d learned about his girlfriend when she’d been gone, and Hannah hadn’t quite figured out how to re-trust someone after Richy. Even if that person was Thomas. But I’d hoped they would find their way back to each other in the end.

I thought about reaching out to Jessy every once in a while—even just as an apology for everything that had happened. I’m sorry that Hannah was found at the expense of Richy. I’m sorry that he did this to you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner. We should have. We should have. We should have. I miss you. But I never send it. I’m not all that sure she’d respond anyway.

Cleo and I were never all that close. She has her best friend back, so I think she’s probably as okay as she can be. Helping Hannah find a new kind of normal in a time where her childhood friend had kidnapped her in order to prove a point. I don’t know how you come back from that—I don’t know how you come back from knowing that you killed somebody at all.

I hadn’t found the courage to ask if somebody had told Hannah about Jake.

Not that I think it would matter anyway. I hadn’t heard from him since before the explosion in the mine, which was, like I said—three months ago. I waited the appropriate amount of time—twenty-five days—before I broke down and concluded that maybe he hadn’t survived. Which just piled a shit-ton of guilt onto my shoulders because it was supposed to be me in that mine. He had gone in place of me and now he was dead.

It was the only explanation that made sense. I was used to Jake disappearing for days at a time, but never as long as he had been now. And he didn’t seem like the type to tell me he loved me and then leave without a single explanation. Not unless he had to. But it had been three months and as much as I missed him, as much as my chest ached with the thought that we would never eat Chinese food out of shitty motels and have that on-the-run ending we talked about, I had accepted that he wasn’t coming back.

I wonder if he had known about Richy or if he had died still thinking Michael Hanson was the one who had kidnapped Hannah. I wonder if his last thoughts were of me. Maybe it’s selfish, but I kind of hope they were, because I’m pretty sure I’ll think about him for the rest of my life.

I wonder what it would have felt like to run my hands through his hair. To kiss him. To spend every waking moment with him and know it was because I loved him. Because I would have. Talking to Jake became about more than just finding Hannah. It became a part of my day I looked forward to more than anything else. He confided in me in a way that told me he never had with anyone, maybe not even Hannah, and I needed that from somebody. I needed somebody to trust in me the way that Jake did. I needed somebody to love me the way that Jake did.

It was strange—and maybe a little ironic—the thought that something so beautiful could come out of something so tragic.

Anyway, my point is: it’s been a long couple of months. Of thinking about my friends. Of thinking about Jake. Of wondering if I should have done things differently. I should have gone to Duskwood to help. Not even with the mine, but sooner. I could have. I could’ve gone when Jessy was attacked on the way home. I could’ve gone when the group made plans to cut out of town and hide away in the house Richy had found. Selfishly, I should have. In that moment, when they were settled around the fire and Lilly called me, I had never remembered wanting anything more. I should have grabbed Jake—metaphorically, maybe even literally—and rode it out with them to the end.

I don’t stop missing them after three months. Of wishing things could have been different. Wishing I could have done more. But exactly ninety-five days after the explosion in the mine, seventy days since I had accepted that Jake was never coming back, twenty-two days since I had last heard from anybody from Duskwood (Dan included), my phone dings with a new message.

And the cycle starts all over again.

It’s somebody named Eric, who claims he needs my help to find his friend Adam, who disappeared while he was waiting for a ride in someplace called Redlog Pines. And much like with Duskwood, I have never heard of Redlog, and the case reminds me way too much of Thomas’ first message to me, so much that it makes my chest ache, but I can’t say no because there’s somebody missing, and if I’d say no the first time, God knows where Hannah would be.

So, I say yes, and I help out where I can, and Eric decides he needs to bring about four more friends in on his little plan and I try my best to stay emotionally unattached because I remember everything that happened the last time and I can’t go through that again. I offer up information when I can and keep my words short and careful because I’m not ready to get attached to somebody else I know I might never meet.

I know how this ends.

Two days in, Ash, one of Eric’s friends, brings up my Duskwood past and the unhealed wound I’ve been trying to mend breaks open again. She asks about Richy, and about the mine, and then because I’m me and I can’t help myself, I tell her about Jake. She tells me the news never mentioned another body and I shove that thought to the back of my head because hoping for something that will never come true will kill me.

Four days into Adam’s disappearance, and the police not giving a shit—as Charlie, somebody who reminds me far too much of Richy for comfort, points out—my phone beeps with an incoming call from somebody I haven’t spoken to in a while.

“Go for [MC].�� I answer my phone.

Ever since Hannah had been found in the mine and Jake had…you know, my phone had been more silent than I’d gotten used to. Until this new case. But even that—it was only a few days old and I didn’t want to go down the same path with them that I did with my friends in Duskwood. We didn’t really know each other that long, sure—even though sometimes it’d felt like it—but it felt like I’d finally been a part of something. Like, I had found these people who had chosen me for me.

And originally, maybe they had. Maybe they’d had every intention of keeping me around, but then Richy was the Man Without A Face and Alan Bloomgate had rescued Hannah and nothing was the same as it had been when we’d met each other. We knew too many secrets about each other by the time the town settled. Secrets we would have to take to the grave.

Or maybe I’m losing my mind a bit and I had really only been a means to an end.

Either way.

“Alan?” I raise my voice when there’s nothing but breathing on the other end of the line. “Did you mean to call me?”

His tone is clipped. “I found something.”

“You found something.” I repeat.

My heart clenches. For all I know, it might fall into my stomach. As far I know, from watching the news, from what Ash told me, Jake’s body was never found. Richy’s was. Or what was left of him to find, anyway. I had assumed that there just hadn’t been enough of Jake left. The thought left me nauseous, but it was better than hoping for something I knew I could never have.

“I’m sending it to your phone now.” He responds. “Let me know what you think of this.”

And then he hangs up.

That was a riveting conversation, I think as my phone dings with a message. I do my best to ignore my other messages—contacts from Duskwood I’m still not ready to acknowledge—and click Alan Bloomgate. He sent me a video that looks like—oh God.

Immediately, I’m overcome with emotion as an all-too-familiar forest pops up on my phone. It’s a video of Alan’s bodycam footage. He’s searching the Duskwood forest. A forest I’ve seen too many times in the background of other video calls.

I watch as he stumbles upon an object that’s too dark to make out at first. When he gets closer, it’s clear that it’s a backpack. It’s simple. Black. Nothing about it that screams this is mine and I left it here about anybody in particular. You stupid, stupid idiot, I tell my heart when it rattles against my chest in hope. He’s dead.

Alan stands and treks away from the backpack—I want to scream at him to go back, to open it and look through it and tell me if it’s what my heart aches to believe, but I can’t, because this is a video and I’m simply watching with wide eyes, waiting for…for something. But then. But then, he moves further into the forest and I watch as he stumbles upon an object that makes my knees tremble and tears rush to my eyes and my hands shake. A black hoodie. It looks like it’s been through hell, with holes scattered up the sleeves and dirt cakes into the hood, but it’s unmistakably his.

And then—Alan lifts the hood and picks up something that makes me sink to my knees with a sob that wracks my entire frame. Because I’m staring at Jake’s mask. The mask he doesn’t go anywhere without. The mask that protects him. And so my relief is short-lived, because I realize that even if he’s alive—which seems like a very big possibility at this point—he’s alive without the things that he needs to survive.

And then the anger kicks in. Because if he’s been alive, on his own, for three months—why has he not contacted me? Unless he survived the mine but he didn’t survive the after. But that didn’t make any sense. So, okay, he wasn’t dead. But that didn’t make any sense either. He told me he wouldn’t let them catch him. Because catching that meant he would be apart from me. Did something happen that prevented him from being able to reach out and tell me he was at least okay? A quick text that said didn’t die in the explosion in the mine, you don’t need to mourn me, by the way, going off radar for another year. Did he think I would have given up on him?

I wipe my eyes and shoot a message to Alan.

ME: Recently?? Did nobody search the forests before?      

ALAN: Searched the forests for what, [MC]? The logical assumption seemed to be that if anybody was inside the mine when Richy set the fire, they would have perished alongside him. Officers were stationed outside every known entrance and exit. Besides, after the story you and your friends spun around this town, do you think anybody would have gone back into its forests?

ME: But it’s possible?

ALAN: I would say these items had been there for some time. But I would say it is likely he ditched them when he fled the mine, yes.

Another sob tears through my throat. Jake is alive. I don’t know quite what that means for us as of now, but I know it’s the best news I’ve heard since Hannah was found. Jake is alive. He’s out there somewhere. And even if it’s been three months, and even if I’m a little bit mad at him right now, I know that if he was here, I would throw my arms around his neck and hold on to him until someone dragged me off, and even then—I would fight kicking and screaming.

I close out of my messages with Alan and pull up a conversation I haven’t had the heart to look at in quite some time.

ME: Jake’s alive.

LILLY: …

LILLY: Have you spoken to him?

ME: Alan called. He found some of Jake’s things in Duskwood. I don’t know a lot of details. But I know he made it out of the mine.

Lilly types for a long while, but she doesn’t respond. I don’t take it personally. I think it’s probably hard for her to be happy that her brother’s okay while also trying to accept that her sister may never be okay again. Her sister, who had once-upon-a-time been kind-of-sort-of in love with their brother she didn’t know she had. I think that would probably mess with any family’s heads. And on top of all that, you throw in manslaughter and a kidnapping. I wouldn’t wish anybody, not even my worst enemy, to have had to go through what the Donforts had.

When it becomes adamant that Lilly isn’t going to respond, I start scrolling through messages with the rest of the group in Duskwood. I click on Jessy. I’m here if you need me. That had been the last thing I sent to her, a couple of days after Richy’s death. She hadn’t responded. I click out of Jessy’s contact and click on Thomas’ instead. Thank you for everything. That had been his last message to me after we found Hannah. I’d liked it. I hadn’t expected at the time it would be the last thing we’d ever say to each other. I click out of Thomas’ and click on Richy. So, you want to turn yourself in? I’d asked. That was before he called me. Before he lit a match and burned himself and the mine to the ground. Some people would call that heroic. I mostly call him a coward.

I click on Jake’s name. It’s been a while since I read messages between the two of us. Maybe before I had accepted—thought—he was dead. In that twenty-five-day period when I’d hoped with all I’d had that he would come back. I love you. That was the last message he sent me. I’d responded with I love you too, Jake. Then, four days later: Are you okay? A week later: Jake, please, you’re starting to scare me. I know you said you would contact when you could, but it’s been a week. After twenty-five days, when I had finally accepted our fate, I’d sent one final message: I hope you know that I love you, and I will always care about you, but I think it’s time for me to move on. I’m so sorry that I sent you into the mine. It should have been me. And I will probably feel the guilt from that for the rest of my life. Thank you for everything. Take care of yourself, wherever you are.

After that, I had closed out of our messages and hadn’t looked back. Partly because I couldn’t bear the pain of it. It felt like I had given up on him. I hadn’t—if I had thought for a second that he was alive, if I knew then what I know now, I would have never sent that message. But holding out hope for somebody who I thought was a ghost at the time? That was slowly killing me.

It’s only then that I notice the screen flickering. Much like the way it used to whenever Jake would hack into my phone. I don’t think he’s much in the mood to be hacking right now, but somehow, I know it’s him. When had he done this? Recently? If I had opened our messages, would I have seen this ten—twenty—even fifty days ago? It hadn’t looked like this the last time I texted him. Did he see my last message about needing to move on? Was that why he hadn’t reached out to tell me that he was okay? Because he thought I was moving on happily without him?

No, my brain supplies. He wouldn’t. He would reach out anyway, because he knows how much the thought of him not being okay would have destroyed you.

The screen flickers once more and then a message pops up, bright and blue-tinted and clear as day on my phone.

[MC]

I WILL FIND YOU

And the world around me shifts.

--------------------------------------------------

Maybe it sounds crazy, considering I’ve never seen his face before, but I always thought that if I’d ran into Jake one day, maybe on the street or at one of those motels he stayed at or maybe even in Duskwood, surrounded by all our friends, I would know it was him. I would, because it’s him, and it’s me, and we’re the only two people who understand each other quite the way we do.

I still believe that.

I believe it when I book my flight to Duskwood (or rather, twenty miles outside of town, which is the closest airport). I believe it when I board the airplane and find a seat next to a mother with her screaming child and when I shoot off a quick text to Eric to let him know I’ll be MIA for the next few hours, but to message me if he needs anything—and I think about how much easier this case would probably be to solve if we had Jake.

Maybe it would have been harder to find Hannah without me, but I know damn well they would’ve never found her without Jake.

Dan picks me up from the airport. I haven’t told the others yet. Something about it felt off—like I shouldn’t message them and say hey, I know we haven’t spoken in a while, but I’m booking a flight to look into why my maybe-slash-not-really boyfriend left his belongings in a forest we really wish we could forget about, and by the way, can I crash at your place?

It’s quiet on the car ride back into town. I’m looking through my messages from Eric and the group from Redlog Pines and thinking about how I’m Duskwood with this group and I want so badly to laugh because it’s ironic, but Dan wouldn’t understand. He might just call me crazy. Better yet, he would ask how I manage to get myself into these situations, and really, I don’t have an answer for him.

“How have you been?” I ask, just to break the tension, as Charlie, in my messages, tries to persuade his friends to head back into that creepy cave in the middle of the forest. He’s going to get someone killed, I think.

Dan looks over at me. “Are you still with Hackerman?”

My chest squeezes. “His name is Jake, Dan. And we were never really together.”

“Hm.” He nods like he doesn’t quite believe me. “You already know mostly everything that’s been happening here. Thomas and Hannah called it quits. They say it was some mutual decision, but it’s hard to find them in the same room together. Jessy hasn’t been out with us since. I think we remind her too much of Richy. The group’s all changed.”

“And you?” I ask.

He gives me a cheshire-like grin that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’m always the same.”

We make it to Duskwood just as the sun’s going down. Much too late for me to try and trek through the forest and retrace the steps Jake might have taken that night. Not that I think it would help give me any clues as to where he might have gone, but mostly because I wonder if it will make me feel closer to him. We’ve never been in the same place before, and even if he’s not there now—he once was.

“Can you drop me at the police station?”

Dan blinks. “The police station.”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“We answered their questions for weeks, [MC]. I don’t think anything you have to tell them at this point is going to help. The investigation’s closed. Everybody knows Richy did it. He died with the fire in the mine. Everybody’s trying to move on from that.” He works his jaw. “Did you come here to open old wounds after all this time?”

I try not to show the hurt look on my face. “This isn’t about Richy. Look, Alan called me. He asked if I could look at some things. I figured it was better for me to do it in person. That’s it. Nothing to do with Richy. Nothing to do with Jessy. Nothing to do with you.”

He sighs, and I’m not entirely sure he’s going to abide by my wishes until we pull in front of a tiny building—tinier than most—that says Duskwood Police on the sign. Duskwood must not have that much crime. Well, not until this, I suppose.

“Thank you.” I tell him as I reach over to undo my seatbelt and climb out of the car. “This is a nice ride, by the way.”

He raises a hand in some mock-salute. “Need me to pick you up?”

“Nah.” I shake my head. “Think I’ll explore the town for a little bit.”

“Suit yourself.” He shrugs and then he’s off.

I square my shoulders and take a deep breath before opening the door to the police station. It wasn’t like Alan asked me to come down here. He hadn’t. Even during the investigation into Richy’s death and Hannah’s kidnapping, when he questioned us, he never asked me to come to Duskwood. We’d done way too many video calls and phone calls and at one point, I had asked if he thought it would be easier for me to come to Duskwood, to which he responded back, are you ready for that?

No, I hadn’t been. I’m not even so sure I was now. But knowing that Jake was alive, that here was the last place was, I had to try.

“Can I help you?” The woman at the front desk asks.

I clear my throat. “I was wondering if I could speak to Alan Bloomgate. I’m one of—I was involved in the Hannah Donfort case. My name is [MC].”

Her eyes widen. “Give me a moment.” She stands and heads to some back office—which looks to me more like a closet—and then returns with a clipped smile. “He’ll be right out.”

Apparently, she isn’t lying, because not two minutes later, Alan is stepping out from the same door and staring me down. I hold his gaze and hope it says that I’m not here to argue. I will tell him my truth, but only my truth, not Hannah’s, not Jake’s, not anybody else’s.

“I was wondering when I would see you.” He says.

I shrug one shoulder. “Isn’t a few months later better than never?”

“Let’s go into my office.” He says, and leads me around the desk and back into the closet space he had come out of. He sits behind the desk and motions for me to take a seat opposite him. “I’m just going to guess you’re not here to talk about Miss Donfort.”

“I want to see them.” I tell him. “His things. I want to see them for myself. And whatever you want from me in return, I’ll give to you.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game here, [MC].”

“He isn’t a game to me.” I snap back and then sit back and try to relax. “I appreciate that you called me. It’s—I helped you find Hannah. I would do it again. Even with knowing the things that we do now, I would do it all again. That’s how much that group means to me. That’s how much he means to me. I’m not asking you to break any rules or to lie for him or to—to let him hide in your basement for the next five years. I’m just asking you to show me what you found.”

He stares me down for a moment. Then, he sighs, says “wait here for a minute” and disappears to another room. When he comes back, it’s with an evidence bag in his hand filled with the objects I saw on his bodycam footage. My breath hitches in my throat.

“I can’t let you touch them.” He says as he lays them in front of me.

I stare into the eyes of the mask. “Did you tell anybody that he’s alive?”

“I don’t know that he’s alive,” is all the answer he gives, which is an answer to my question. I slide my gaze down to the black hoodie, to the dirtied sleeves and muddy hood, and think about the fact that Jake wore this. I’m so close to him.

And yet I’ve never been further away from him.

“Thank you.” I tell him. “For—for this. And for listening to me about Hannah. If you hadn’t, I—I don’t know what would have happened. How much longer he would have gone on for. If he would have ever stopped.”

Alan’s silent for a minute. Then, he clears his throat. “You know, it was strange to me. Both Hannah and yourself swore to me that neither of you knew the other.”

“I don’t.” I swear.

It was one of the (albeit many) things that didn’t make sense to me. How Hannah got a hold of my number. How she sent it to Thomas. She’d told Alan she hadn’t really remembered texting him my number at all.

“I believe you.” He reassures. “I just think it’s strange. One mistake, if you can call it that, and you throw yourself into a missing persons case to help a stranger.”

“They’re not strangers.” Even though Hannah is kind of still a stranger.

“But they were.” Alan reasons. “You had no reason to say yes to helping Thomas. I doubt anybody would have held it against you if you turned the other way. But you decided to follow this until the end. To make sure they found Hannah. And you care about them. Maybe that’s why I find that I’m more lenient with you than maybe I should be. Why you’re sitting across from me right now calling the shots. Why I’m not asking you about the hacker.”

“I wouldn’t tell you if you did.” I look him in the eye so he knows I’m telling the truth.

He returns my gaze. “Maybe that’s the other reason.”

“Hm.” I acknowledge before I turn my gaze away—from him, from the objects that I know belong to Jake and it takes everything in me not to snatch them up and run. “Well. Thank you for allowing me to steal some of your time. For letting me—” I cut myself off before I say something that makes me break down in a fit of tears in front of him. “—just thank you.”

Leaving the station is easier than coming in. I’m still not any closer to knowing where Jake is than I was when I arrived here, but there’s a comfort in knowing he walked these streets. I wonder what he would think if he knew I was here. He hadn’t wanted me to come to Duskwood when everything was happening…but now that it was over, would he be happy that I was here? That I had come to Duskwood to piece together where he might have gone? Would he track my location and come to find me and…or was I grasping at straws?

It felt like I had just gotten him back. Not really, not entirely…but knowing that he was alive, that he was out there somewhere, maybe thinking of me and looking for ways to come back, to live the life we talked about when he asked me if I was sure…that was worth it. The thought that we could maybe someday have that—even if it was a twenty percent chance.

I check my phone again to see a new message from Ash. She’s asking me if I’ve heard from Charlie in the last few hours. Apparently, he’s AWOL, and I want to help, really, but…it doesn’t really feel like that’s where I am at the moment. Not just physically—obviously—but mentally. We got lucky with Hannah. And that was really only because we had Jake. Adam didn’t have a Jake. Or…maybe he did and I just hadn’t met him yet. But I already had a Jake and I didn’t want another one.

Maybe—if I found him, I could convince him to help. That was a big maybe. Not because I thought Jake would say no. He would say yes to anything I asked of him. The maybe was whether or not I could find him. More likely, the maybe was whether or not he would find me.

Three months ago, I would have been able to come to Duskwood and have no shortage of things I wanted to do and people I wanted to see. Now, as I stand outside Duskwood’s police station, I feel nothing but loneliness. Nobody knows I’m here. I could pass Thomas on the street and he wouldn’t even know it. I could run into Jessy at the library and she would walk by me without even a second thought. Why would they? I hadn’t told them I was here.

So, with nothing left to do, I walked. Toward the town center. Toward the library that Jessy showed me on our walk through Duskwood. Toward the Rainbow Café where I knew that Cleo and Hannah had spent a lot of their time. Toward the Black Swan. Toward—

Ah, what the hell.

I had nothing better to do and The Aurora seemed like a great place to drown my sorrows. To think about my next steps. To figure out—now that I was in Duskwood—what I planned to do. The thing about Jake being so secretive (and on the run) was that I couldn’t retrace his steps. I wasn’t able to ask if anyone had seen him. One, because he would make sure nobody had. And two, because three months was a long time to forget somebody’s face if you didn’t know who you were looking for.

I pull open the door to the bar and step inside. Immediately, I’m hit with the stench of whiskey and a handful of chatter. Duskwood’s a small town. And The Aurora definitely proves it. The bartenders move melodically around each other, serving patrons on the other side of the bar. If you walk down further, there’s a handful of tables.

And dead in the center is a table with my friends. Or, some of them. Dan and Cleo and Lilly. Could I still call them my friends? Ex-friends, maybe? Acquaintances? I didn’t know what they were. Or how to address them. It wasn’t like we had gotten into a fight. We didn’t stop talking for any reason other than that we did. We stopped talking.

I make a beeline for the bar to avoid a confrontation and plant myself on one of the stools. One of the bartenders—a girl cute with bleach blonde hair and brown Bambi eyes—asks what I want and I channel my inner Dan to order a whiskey—neat.

Looking over my shoulder, I focus on the table of them. On Lilly, who’s smiling at something Cleo said. On Dan, who’s the only one of them who actually knows I’m here. But even he’s focused on the conversation they’re having. It’s strange—to see Dan a part of something I’m not sure he would have been before. It’s nice.

“[MC]?”

I turn my head away from the table of my friends and focus my attention across the bar on someone I should’ve expected to see. “Phil.”

“I thought I recognized your voice from when we talked.” He smiles. “I wasn’t sure, but I saw you staring longingly at them—” He nods towards Dan and Cleo and Lilly. “—and I knew. What brings you around here? I expected you to show up maybe a few months ago, but by now, I thought you’d moved on without us.”

I was tired of the words move on. Like I’d had a choice. Like the people from this town might open their arms and welcome me back into their lives. So I’d been part of the group who’d saved Hannah Donfort. So had a lot of people. It didn’t make me special and everyone here knew it.

I offer him a smile in return. “I’m looking for somebody.”

“Anybody I know?” He asks.

I shake my head. “Nah. At least nobody you would recognize.” I pause. “How’s Jessy?”

“She’s—Jessy.” He answers, like that is an answer. “I don’t know if she’ll ever really be okay with the way things happened with Richy. I wouldn’t expect her to. Obviously. But I don’t know. I think I just thought she would have gone back to her normal life by now. And then I remember that most of her life revolved around him. He was her best friend. She worked for him. And I’m trying to be patient about that. But—” He shakes his head. “Maybe you should talk to her.”

“She doesn’t know I’m in town.”

“Okay.” He hums. “So, you’re not in town for my sister. And you’re not in town for your group of friends because they’re over there and you look like you’d rather be anywhere else. There’s always Hannah, but I don’t think you knew her that well. Or at all. Would I be right to assume this is about a certain hacker who helped to find Hannah?”

“He didn’t help find Hannah.” I defend. “He was the entire reason we found Hannah. I would have never been able to do it on my own. Even with the others’ help. He’s the only reason we found out about—” I pause before I say something I maybe shouldn’t. “It doesn’t matter. He’s the only reason we found her. Everything I did was just dumb luck.”

“That wasn’t what the news said.” A voice cuts in and I turn my attention from Phil to focus on the stranger that slides into the seat beside me. Not too close—a couple inches away. I don’t recognize him. I don’t know him. But I don’t know every person in Duskwood. Maybe a total of like nine or ten. “I’m sorry to interrupt. But I heard you had a lot to do with finding Hannah Donfort. The news said you were some kind of hero.”

I offer him a tight smile. “That’s nice of them. But…if they knew my—friend—knew what he did to find her, I don’t think I would be as much of a hero as everybody says.”

“That’s noble.” He says, eyes meeting mine, and it strikes me at once how handsome he is. He has dark hair. Bright green eyes. Focus, [MC]. I scold. You have a…a someone.

My phone buzzes.

ERIC SENT A PHOTO.

ERIC: What do you make of this?

I sigh and click on the photo. It’s of—some object. Much like the one that was addressed to me on the envelope in Adam’s glove compartment. The image is a bit different—but I don’t know enough about what it means to have an answer as to why.

ME: Was this one addressed to me?

ERIC: Nope. Ash.

“Are you okay?” Phil asks.

I clear my throat. “I’m a popular person—apparently.” A thought strikes. “Have you ever heard of a place called Redlog Pines?”

Phil frowns. “No.”

I turn to look at the stranger. “You?”

“Redlog Pines is a small town about two hundred miles north of Duskwood.” He answers. “Known for their wooded forests, much like Duskwood.”

“Why are you looking into a place with forests as creepy as ours?” Phil asks, incredulously. “Didn’t you get enough of that with Hannah’s case?”

“Yeah.” I sigh. “You would think.”

“Hey, [MC]!”

I wince at the sound of Dan’s voice. Shooting Phil a look that screams please help me to which he shakes his head amusedly, I turn and plaster on a fake smile as I take in the shocked looks on Cleo and Lilly’s faces. I should have known better than to come to The Aurora and talk to Phil when the three of them were having a conversation across the room. I should have known they would sooner or later see me. I just hoped it was later.

“Hey.” I hop off my stool and make my way across the bar to them. “It’s, uh, fancy seeing the three of you here.”

“What are you doing here?” Cleo asks.

“I haven’t really figured that out.” My eyes meet Lilly’s. “It sounds crazy to say it out loud. But I was hoping that—I’m not sure if Lilly told you—”

“That Jake’s alive.” Cleo nods. “None of us ever really thought he wasn’t.”

I don’t think she means it as a dig—but it still feels like one. Like she’s saying you gave up on him you gave up on him you gave up on him even though she’s not and she didn’t really know him and the only person I can talk to at this table who even might understand is Lilly and even—Jake didn’t confide in her the way he did me.

“Right.” I acknowledge. “So I thought that maybe if I came here, I could trace his steps from when he was here and—I haven’t really thought that far ahead. It’s not like I thought he left me any clues in the forest or anything like that. I don’t think he expected me to be here. He hadn’t wanted me to be the last time we talked. But that was before everything happened.”

Lilly’s eyes track behind me. “Does Jake still have Nymos on your phone?”

“Uh.” I furrow my brows. “I think so. I hadn’t heard from him in a while, but I went back and read through our messages after I talked to Alan and…my phone glitched, like it used to when Jake had hacked it. And then this message appeared on my screen.”

“And by chance, can Nymos track your location?”

“What—” I shake my head. “Maybe. I don’t think I ever really asked him. It didn’t seem necessary at the time.”

“Uh huh.” She focuses on me once more. “Let’s say, for one minute, that Jake has access to Nymos who has access to your location.”

Cleo must catch onto something I’m not sure of. “Jake didn’t want you here.”

“Uh, thank you?”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” She waves me off. “He didn’t want you in Duskwood. He had been adamant about that when we were talking about the mine. That’s why he went. If you showed up in Duskwood—”

“Nymos would have alerted him.” Dan finishes.

“Okay…” I’m not entirely sure I’m on the same page as them. “So—you think that Jake found out when I came to Duskwood.”

“Correct.” Lilly beams like she just solved life’s greatest mystery.

“And you think he would—come find me?”

She smiles sympathetically at me—like I’m the world’s biggest idiot for not realizing what she has been trying to say sooner. “I think he already has.”

“You think Jake’s in Duskwood.” I deadpan.

“[MC].” Cleo grabs my shoulders and turns me around. “We think he’s in this bar.”

Stranger, as I had nicknamed him—AKA the guy sitting beside me at the bar, with Phil and Redlog Pines (which he probably only knew about because of me) and the whole Hannah being kidnapped and not taking any of the credit thing—was looking back at me. So was Phil. Like they thought I was the crazy one. Like it would’ve been so hard for him to look and me and say it’s me or anything that might have clued me into the fact that—

“Jake?” I whisper, because I’ve lost quite a bit of sleep over the past couple of months and I’m not one hundred percent sure what—or who—I’m seeing is real. “Are you here?”

He tilts his head and smiles at me. Actually smiles. A bit shyly, like it’s something he’s not used to doing, but maybe like it’s something he could get used to. And I think about how terrible I probably look right now because I’m not wearing makeup and my hair is tousled from constantly pulling at it and my clothes are wrinkled from the plane and the police station and I look like a mess. But our relationship has never been about looks. Clearly. I didn’t even know the person I’d been talking to until Lilly and Cleo and even Dan pointed out the obvious.

“If I—” I close my eyes and open them again. Nope. Still there. “I need you to still be there by the time I reach you because it’s been a—” I sniffle. “—it’s been a rough few months and I don’t think I could handle you disappearing again.”

He stands from the stool he was sitting on and shuffles his feet. Like he’s not quite sure where he’s supposed to stand. If he thinks about moving, I’ll tackle him onto the floor of The Aurora and then apologize to Phil later. It feels like everything I wanted is right here in front of me. And I’m scared to death that it’s not real.

“What’s one thing you would take with you if you were stranded on an island?”

His smile stretches. “My computer.”

And that—that’s what breaks me. I think I might start blubbering like an idiot but I don’t remember the time it takes for me to cross the measly twenty feet between us. All I remember is grabbing his black hoodie—because of course—and dragging him to me. I don’t kiss him, despite how much I want to, because I don’t want our first kiss to be tainted with my snot and tears. Instead, I bury my face in his collarbone and wrap my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life.

Because I can. Because he isn’t dead.

“Y—You’re here.” I pull back and cup his face with my hands. “How are you here?”

“You came to Duskwood.” He responds, and then—hesitantly—he presses his lips to my forehead in a kiss. “Alan called you.”

“He found your things in the forest.” I whisper back. “He said they’d been there a while. The police hadn’t searched the forest because they assume you died in the mine.”

“They aren’t looking for me here.” He confirms. “I didn’t expect it to take so long for them to find my belongings, but I anticipated that you would find out. At the time, it wasn’t safe for me to reach out and contact you. They kept on my trail for a while before they assumed I died in the mine with Richy.”

“Why didn’t you contact me then?” I ask. “Is it because of what I last messaged you? I didn’t mean it—I swear, I thought you were dead. If I had known you were alive, I would have waited, however long it took. I wasn’t trying to give up on you.”

“Hey.” He places both hands on either side of my face. “I know. I know that, [MC]. That was never why I didn’t reach out to you. I know you said you wanted this life with me. But I didn’t want that for you. But I was selfish. I couldn’t let you go. So I was trying to find a way to make both of those things true. But I was always coming back to you.”

“And did you?”

“Come back to you?” He asks.

I sniffle. “Find a way to make both of those things true.”

“Not entirely.” He admits. “Nymos alerted me you had boarded a plane headed in the direction of Duskwood and I—” He shook his head. “I knew I would find you here.”

“You could have found me sooner.”

He lets go of my face and he feels like he takes my skin with him. “It wasn’t that easy.”

“It could have been.” I demand.

I’m angry again. Now that I know he’s alive and okay and that he could have found me, I’m angry that he didn’t. I told him I would choose that life with him. Over and over and over. He didn’t need to make the decision for me. He didn’t need to try and protect me. And yes, maybe the fact that he did makes my heart flutter a tiny little bit, but that’s besides the point.

“I told you before you left me.” I tell him and I’m aware it sounds like we’ve been in a relationship for five years and I’m aware that everybody in here is watching and listening in on our conversation and they probably all know we’re who we are, two people involved in helping to find the kidnapped Hannah Donfort, and maybe that’s all we’ll ever be in this town. But I would rather be the girl who found Hannah Donfort in Duskwood with him than be me anywhere else. “You told me you would let me go with you.”

“That was before I told you I loved you.”

My heart skips a beat. It screams I love you I love you I love you back, but I say— “What does that have to do with anything?”

He looks somewhat amused. Like he knows I would never hold it against him. It’s clear to both of us that I wouldn’t because even though I’m glaring up at him with my furrowed eyebrows and my lips pouted, I’m still pressed tightly against him. His hands—even though they’ve moved from my face—are now resting on my hips. Pulling my tighter to him. There’s no space in between us. If it was up to me, I’m pretty sure there never would be again.

“[MC].” He says, and oh god I wish he would say my name every day for the rest of his life. “Have I—in the short time we have known each other—ever struck you as the type of person who says I love you? But with you…” His words are a whisper against my lips. “It’s easy to fall back into old emotions with you.”

“I want to be angry with you.” I tell him.

He shakes his head. “No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.” I agree. “But I might be if you don’t kiss me.”

He brought one finger underneath my chin and tilted it up until our lips were separated by a fraction of an inch. My eyelids fluttered. I didn’t care that everyone in here was about to see just how much Jake meant to be. I didn’t care because I had waited too long for this. And then—just as I’m leaning toward him to press our lips together, he whispers— “[MC]?”

“Hm.” I acknowledge.

“Who’s Eric?”

My eyelids crack open and I shove at his chest. “That’s what you’re worried about right now? Here I am, in front of you, covered in snot and tears and who-knows-what-else because you’re here right now, and you’re worried about some guy I don’t even know?”

“Who’s Eric?” He repeats.

“Ugh.” I run my hands through my hair and take a step back. “I don’t know. He’s the other side of Thomas or whatever you want to call him. If we lived in a different town.” I glare back at him and try not to admit that I think his jealous side is a little cute. “He messaged me. Thought I picked up his friend from some parking lot and I didn’t, but his friend sent him my number, and it was Hannah all over again. I’m trying to help them.”

“This Adam has been sending you a lot of videos.”

“You know I hate when you hack my phone.” I complain, even though I really don’t. Even though I had prayed for him to help me with this case. “I really don’t know Adam. Like—even less than I know Eric.

“But you know Eric.”

“For like a week.” I reassure. “He added me to this group chat with him and like three other friends of his. They’re desperate to find Adam who has apparently dropped off the face of the earth and I don’t know what to do. I had you with Hannah’s case. And you knew her. And they—” I look over my shoulder at Cleo and Dan and Lilly, who are pretending like they’re not listening in even though I know and Jake knows they are. “—they knew her. And obviously Adam’s friends must know him but I don’t and you don’t and there is no Jake in Redlog Pines.”

“I don’t trust him.” He shakes his head. “Any of them.”

I laugh. “Jake, you didn’t trust half the people in this bar when we first started talking.” I look over at Phil and then Dan. “It doesn’t mean they committed a crime. If I had backed off when you asked me to help you find Hannah, we may never have.”

“I thought that was all thanks to me.” He sounds smug, like that little smiley face he loved to annoy me with (AKA make me fall in love with him). “Did he flirt with you?”

“No.” I deadpan. “I think he was focused on his missing friend.”

“I was focused on my missing sister.” He shoots back.

I close my mouth. Alright. He has a point. But I wasn’t flirting with Eric. He was focused on finding Adam and I was focused on mourning—and then finding—Jake. Maybe it felt like Eric and I were two sides of the same coin. Maybe that’s why I agreed to help him. Because I didn’t want to happen to him what I thought had happened to Jake—to me.

“You’re being ridiculous.” I say instead. “How do you think I could ever entertain the idea of being with somebody else when for the past three months—more than that if you count the time we have actually had together—I’ve been focused on you? On discussing Hannah with you and then talking to you about anything and everything and then worrying about you and then hating you a little for convincing me you should me the one to go into the mine and then mourning you when it was hard to even think about you and then finding you?”

His eyes are wide. I think I’ve rendered him speechless. Which—serves him right. I know he’s not somebody who serves their feelings up on a silver platter. I know that. Obviously, I knew that from the first time I spoke to him. Back when he was nothing more than ??? and I was almost convinced that Dan was right and he was the Man Without A Face—a thought that I now hate with everything in me. But I need him to trust me. Jealousy streak and FBI and the missing persons cases aside, he needs to trust me.

“Trust me.” I cup the sides of his face again. “He’s nothing like you.”

He swallows. “Some people might consider that to be a perk.”

“I don’t.” I say.

And then I’m kissing him and it feels like coming home.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Everafter Epilogues:

Christmas

It had been a few days of waiting with gift in hand, his parked in the garage, hers in three tiny boxes, one of them blue and hidden deep beneath a cavalcade of his mother's things that he hadn't had the heart to let go of yet. It had seemed like weeks as the excitement had become palpable, a real living thing. He had to be sure she didn't find it before the perfect moment. Phill and Betty as well and Jessy and Dan, were all aware of the surprises, but not one of them would tell. If the women hadn't threatened to disengage from all affection if the truth was spilled, they likely might have given something away in their excitement. Dan and Phil were almost as eager for the couple to exchange gifts as Mahri and Jake were to give them.

The group had hung out for Christmas Eve, they had a movie night with all of the popcorn and snacks that they could handle, but they had decided that they would wait until noon the next day to exchange presents together as Mahri was strictly a no presents until Christmas Day kind of gal. It would be hard to wait for the gift exchange, but it would give the couples every opportunity for a lazy morning, which Jake and Mahri planned on taking every advantage of.

His eyes opened slowly. They had a wonderful night of laughs and popcorn, with the best of friends, he didn't even mind the matching pajamas that Jessy had insisted on, but his best thing, his favorite thing was waking up with her in his arms. He wasn't ready to move or leave her side, but he felt her stirring and he wanted to make sure that they were both ready for the day so he reluctantly threw on a pair of sweats and drug himself to the kitchen. Mahri would need coffee.

After a while, he reentered the bedroom, "Good Morning, Love... Merry Christmas." Jake said as he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Her hair was everywhere, her lips were chapped from the night before he supposed, and she had a terrible case of morning breath, but he never loved her more. He could only see how the light that streamed in the window at this hour of the morning made her eyes shine and the way that those same sleepy eyes looked at him with more love than he thought possible. Waiting for her eyes to open, he chuckled when she grumbled at the sun and that fact that she had to wake. He could only imagine this being how every morning would begin for the two of them and how he would never tire of this or any other instant they shared as he handed her a cup of coffee.

She patted on the bed next to her, the sheets barely covering her. He wanted to touch her skin, to feel its silky smooth underneath his fingers. He wanted to kiss the honey skin in the place where her shoulder curved delicately down and to touch the soft strands of her hair and move them out of her face to reveal the slight blush on her cheeks. Right now, though, he would settle for holding her for a while longer while she sipped on her coffee in the early morning light.

He sat down on the bed next to her, leaning back so she could nuzzle up next to him. She climbed between his legs, still the perfect fit, and he wrapped her in his arms. "You do love me," she squeaked out as she wrapped her fingers around the hers mug that resided in his cupboard. They were quiet for a moment and as she took slow languid sips from her mug, he stole sweet soft kisses on her neck and took in her sweet fragrance. Ian this silence, there was utter peace for him, no worries crossed his mind, the day was starting but the pressure to make it into something hadn't arrived yet. He had never been bothered by silence, but the silence with her was something more, it was somehow intimate. It was as if the whole universe was right in this room and they were in control of their own destiny.

She suddenly, now that her cup was half gone, broke into his thoughts, "I was so excited about coffee that I forgot to tell you Merry Christmas." She grabbed one of his hands and kissed it ever so softly.

He gave a low chuckle. "I expect nothing from you until that first cup is empty. I know that coffee is imperative to you well being."

She turned her body sideways so she could see him better. "You, Jake, are imperative to my well being, but I am glad that you understand the importance of a good intake of caffeine." He smiled and kissed her softly on the forehead. "I have been meaning to tell you that I have an issue with these mugs," His eyebrows raised as she commented. He always thought she enjoyed them, her sense of humor at the oddest things made her even more endearing to him. She continued, "This one says "hers", but shouldn't I technically be drinking out of the "his" mug. I am yours after all."

He straightened her hair and brushed it back from her face with his thumb his eyes met her hers in a long embrace. His voice was low and throaty as he spoke, "You are mine and every part of me belongs to you." His eyes never left hers as he spoke and she felt the depth and the breadth of his words.

AS quiet as the moment had been, those words sparked something in that bedroom. Quickly she flung her coffee mug on the nightstand, fortunately it was empty, and jumped on top of him, covering his face with kisses, unable to keep her hands off of the wonderful man that shared his heart with her.

Sometime later, they pulled themselves out of bed, untangling their arms and legs from each other, and began their preparations for the day. The gang was supposed to show up around noon, but Betty was always early. Mahri had some baking to do and Jake had one more errand, something in the back yard that he still wouldn't let Mahri know about. It didn't bother her, she had a few secrets of her own. Ones that she was excited to share later in the day.

Jake and Mahri had created an inviting and festive atmosphere in that old cabin. Swags of pine and white paper stars had been hung gracefully from the beams and twinkle lights colored the walls with a flickering glow, sending dancing light into even the darkest corners. The fire roared and warmed the old place like a sweater that had been knit by your oldest and sweetest grandmother. Presents were packed under the tree, each had been thoughtfully picked out by the couple, all were wrapped in matching paper, a red buffalo print that made Mahri think of her California childhood. Jake was surprised at how much he liked picking out presents with her. It was all of these little things that had been so long missing from his life. All of these little things that Mahri had given back to him. All of these things that made his love for her continue to grow. The sounds of a crooner singing a traditional holiday gem hung in the air which held the aroma of coffee and cookies.

The cookies were Mari's first surprise for Jake, they were his mother's recipe and one of the first memories from his childhood that he had shared with her. She had stumbled upon the recipe weeks ago but had been waiting for this moment to prepare them. While Jake was outside doing whatever he was doing, she had lovingly made more of the cookies than all of their friends could consume in a week. She wanted his mom to be there somehow. She wished that she could have met his mother, but more importantly she wished that Jake had been able to share more memories and love with her. If cookies were all that she had to give him even the slightest remembrance of her love, and remind him of Nana and all of the things that she meant to him, Mahri would make them at every important event and even at the not so important ones.

Mahri's heart was full of love and joy. She was content in every possible and unexplainable way. It wasn't even about the gifts that she was excited to give or the ones that she hoped to receive. It was all about their friends and the love they alll shared. Family was important, but chosen family was everything. It was also about him and her and this house, about the hope for their shared future and the plans that she was sure they would make and fulfill together that made her heart beat faster and harder.

So as she filled her "his" coffee mug, her fourth cup, and carefully placed those magical cookies on Jake's childhood Santa plate, she danced around twirling in er red dress and dreaming of future Christmases, of more times in front of the fire, of dancing in his arms. She dreamed of watching the seasons change, enjoying sunsets, candlelight dinners and bubble baths. She dreamed of babies, their babies, crying and laughter filling every inch of the cabin.

Jake had returned from the backyard unnoticed. He watched her in the kitchen longer than he probably should have since the guests would be arriving soon. She was mesmerizing as he gazed upon her while she danced. He listened to her hum a tune he didn't recognize and was amazed that his life was so unexpectedly more than his wildest imagination could have created.

His thoughts flew back to the time they had met on the porch, her hair wet and mussed, her cheeks flushed from the cold, and how he couldn't have possibly guessed the beauty and the joy and all of the love that would change his life in such a short time. He couldn't possibly have understood the depth of her compassion, the gentleness of her spirit, or the deep understanding behind those emerald eyes. He loved her before he knew her, but his love had only grown from that day. He hoped that he could show her half of the happiness and light that she had shown him. Before he could ruin the moment by thinking of all the ways he didn't deserve her, he headed to the shower, his thoughts lingering on all of the ways he loved her.

Straightening presents under the tree, she felt his strong arms, the ones that made her feel both safe and loved, wrap around her waist from behind and the heat from his lips began to dance on her skin. Her dark hair had been pulled up in a loose bun, she knew that he couldn't resist her when it was like that. She moaned in satisfaction as the kisses lingered on her neck. It wasn't long before he spun her around to gain access to the low V of the dress she had bought just for this party. She was gorgeous in it. She knew that it fit her perfectly, the scarlet fabric hugging her in all of the right places. He knew that in or out of that dress, she was the most beautiful thing that the universe had ever created. He couldn't wait to get her out of that dress, so he continued to kiss her in all the right places. He was about to let things get out of hand without the slightest bit of guilt.

She tried to focus on the little things like the coffee brewing or the other food that still had to be prepared in order to maintain some sort of control. But her heart was beating faster and she was feeling a little dizzy from his kisses and his roaming hands.. Once she took in his scent, fresh with soap and cedar, the fragrance that never quite left his hair this time of year, she thought about the warmth of his skin and of his strength as he held her pinned against the counter with one hand while he touched her ever so gently with the other. She thought about how he whispered her name as his hands went under her skirt higher and higher. She thought about the fact that his fingers were playing with the lace of her panties... and then she could think of nothing else but him and how he gave her butterflies and set her on fire at the same moment.

"Do we have enough time to....?" He asked in a low husky voice, full of desire.

"No," Mahri panted out the answer, but refused to move away from his touch, "Betty is always early, she should be here any ..."

At that moment, Betty appeared in her sparkliest of black sparkly dresses. The twinkle lights that filled the cabin made her glow. She had the appearance of a goddess. Mahri was in awe of her beauty both outwardly and inwardly. She was pleased that Betty was included in world, but right now, she was bitterly disappointed by her early arrival. "Well, well, what is going on in here?" Betty asked with a smile plastered on her face.

The two were truly still in the midst of their embrace. Jake's back was to the door and his lips were still lingering at the lowest part of Mahri's fantastically low cut dress, his hand still hiding under the hem of her skirt. He turned quickly at the sound of her voice, pulling his hand to a socially acceptable position, sighed and then quickly unraveled himself from his love. "Oh, well, " Jake answered confident in his love for Mahri, "light foreplay...if you must know... If you were willing to come back inside in five minutes, I am sure that we would be much better hosts."

"Is that all the time you need, Romeo?" she smirked. He blushed realizing his poor choice in words, forgetting for a moment that she could turn anything into a verbal jab. Betty continued, "Alas, I am here and Phil is right behind me unloading the car. If he knew that you two were up to something, he would make it even more awkward for you on principle. He lives for that shit." Mahri nodded her head, Betty was right. Jake cleared his throat and ran his hands down his black dress pants and adjusted his tie. Mahri attempted to straighten her dress, at least making sure the V was pulled high enough to cover the bits that were currently on display..

Betty smirked, her eyes twinkled. She was proud of catching them in the act, she was proud of the place the two of them had come to and she was extremely proud that they had invited her today. She continued, "Geez, Look at you two behaving like teenagers. Besides, there will be plenty of time for all of that after we leave." It was Jake's turn to nod. Indeed, they would have plenty of time for all of the things they wanted to do and for the rest of their lives if things went his way tonight.

Phil slammed into the room, arms full of presents and food. Snow flew in the doorway as the door itself flew back into the coatrack. He was flustered, something unusual for Phil. Mahri counted eight bags and two boxes perched on his arms. She was sure that Betty had bet him that he couldn't get it all in one trip.

He flung the food on the counter and looked at Betty with a victorious smirk, "I told you I could do it with the right motivation." The bags quickly dropped to the floor, "Do with it what you want, woman." Phil responded, looking proud of himself. Betty must have been proud too because suddenly Mahr saw Betty fling herself across the room, wrap her lips and her legs around him and cover him in passionate kisses. How she managed to bo that flexible in a dress that tight impressed everyone in the room.

"Keep it in your pants, sister." Jake exclaimed more loudly than necessary.

"The man was simply collecting his reward." Betty retorted through heated and irregular breath. As usual, she was unashamed.

"Well, you have plenty of time for that later, after YOU leave." Jake teased. She climbed off of Phil and while he pouted, he said, "I guess he is right, besides, the real reward is too indecent to be given in mixed company."

Betty patted him on the chest and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, then headed straight for the coffee. "What I have planned for you is indecent in the privacy of my apartment." She winked at Phil and made a challenging face to Jake. Mahri wondered if that was a blush she saw fly across Phil's cheeks.

"Ugh," Jake moans and meets Phil's gaze. "None of that talk in front of me, remember. Disgusting."

Betty laughed as she headed to the kitchen to pull Mahri in for a hug. "Merry Christmas." Mahri returns the hug, "Merry Christmas to you. I am so glad that you are here. It wouldn't be the same without you both." Betty then walked past Jake, punched him in the arm, and whispered "Merry Christmas," as she headed to the other side of the cabin to place presents under the tree.

Phil, who wore a rust colored button up shirt and pants with the perfect amount of sag, watched in amazement. He appeared to be fascinated by everything about her. Jake couldn't help but notice and smile. He handed Phil a Christmas ale and bumped his shoulder. Phil spoke, "Man, she is truly something that they don't even make words for." Jake uttered only a low, "uh huh" because he was observing Mahri and thinking the exact same thing.

The adoration committee was interrupted by a knock at the door. While Betty and Phil had just walked in, Jessy had knocked. Betty thought it was impolite to knock when entering a loved ones house. She and Jake had often disagreed on this fact, but today was no day for disagreements, so Jake kept his comment about Jessy's good manners to himself.

Mahri ran to the door and greeted both Jessy and Dan at the door. Laughter and squeals were heard from the other side of the cabin as Jessy and Mahri acted like they hadn't seen each other in years even thought they had been together last night. Dan had all of the presents and grinned from ear to ear as the two walked into the kitchen arm in arm. Jessy walked over to Jake and offered him a hug which he returned by wrapping his arms tightly around her. He was grateful for her in too many ways to count. Dan meanwhile, kissed Mahri on the cheek and gave a thumbs up to Jake over Mari's shoulder in an effort to encourage him. Dan was, by far, the most invested in this whole evening's climax. If it hadn't been for their tumultuous first meeting the two probably never would have become as close as they were. Dan had stayed true to his vow to be a friend to both Mahri and Jake. Jake viewed him as a reliable and trustworthy brother and a welcome presence in his life.

"Hellooo, my favorite people on the best day of the year," He hugged Betty as he singsonged into the room. Usually, he would have been the one to bring the booze, but he had made a promise to Jessy and he was not going to break it. She was all that he wanted. He wasn't about to risk it or Mahri's friendship over something as needless as a drink.

Dan slapped Jake on the back and nodded at Phil as he made himself a cup of coffee, extra cream and extra sugar. He still wasn't used to coffee, but a guy had to indulge in something and he had this really cool machine to make it. The boys exchanged pleasantries while the girls fiddled with ribbons and found warm seats in front of the fire. Jake eyed Dan as he used his precious espresso machine. Trusting Dan in this way said a lot about their friendship. There were very few people that he would allow to go anywhere near his precious machine. Truthfully, everything Dan was doing right now stressed Jake out, but he was determined to keep his mouth shut and try to control the facial twitches that were threatening to release themselves. He was very thankful the Phil preferred water, soda, and alcohol to his fanciest of espressos.

The girls were ensconced in some discussion involving squirrels as they nestled by the fire. Taking advantage of the moment, Dan leaned over and in a conspiratorial tone asked, "You ready for the big ask, man? How are the nerves?"

Jake shrugged and smiled. He shouldn't be nervous and he wasn't really. He knew, without question that this was what he wanted. He also knew what she wanted, but this is a big deal and he wants the moment and the memory to be perfect. He didn't know how to express his feelings and the guys didn't want to push it.

During this awkward silence, Jake's eyes fell on the plate of cookies in his old Santa plate. As he reached down and grabbed a cookie, he bit into it seemed to travel back in time. He could almost feel his mother in the kitchen, he could almost hear her laugh. It was a though he was ten years old and she had walked into the room. He remembered baking with her, perched on a stool, how warm the house felt, how loved he was. Jake's eyes began to tear up.

"Where did you just go?" Phil asked without trying to mask his concern.

"I just fell into a memory. My mother made these cookies with me every Christmas. Tasting them brought me back to when I was a little kid," He paused, "This is quite the gift. I don't know how she did this. They taste exactly like Mom's."

"Mahri has some special powers." Dan responded. Phil nodded, "She should never be underestimated, that is for sure."

Mahri had been watching him from across the room as he tried the cookie. She walked over and placed her arm around his waist. He responded in like manner. Mahri leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Did you like the cookie? I know I can't make them like your mom, but did you recognize the recipe?"

He kissed her forehead. "They are perfect, just like you. They made me feel like I got a hug from her, like she is here somehow. Thank you."

Mahri beamed. She was proud that she had delivered those feelings to him. She would bake a billion cookies if it brought that look to his face.

He pulled her in closer, his arms around her waist. "You are amazing. I love you," He whispered in her ear. He kissed her forehead, she wrapped her arms around him, he stayed in her arms for a bit.

"What is this about a cookie?" she stopped herself when she saw the look on Jake's face, "Jake, is this your mom's recipe? I have missed these." Betty asked more loudly than usual then ran toward the tray and immediately grabbed two. Forgetting all of her manners, she shoved the first cookie in her mouth. Her eyes closed in delight. With her mouth still partially full, she handed one to Phil, "Babe, try these. They will change your life."

Mahri chuckled at her enthusiasm, turning to Jake, "I thought I made more than enough, but the way Betty is eating, we may be out of stock by 12:05." He laughed, "Well, I can't say that I blame her. Besides, we will have a lot of chances to make more." "Oh, will we?" she asked but knew the answer. Jake smiled at her and turned quickly back to his friends.

She kissed his cheek and settled in beside him while the friends ate cookies and thought about how happy they were that they had found each other. Jessy's red hair twirled as her jade green dress swayed along to an incredibly classic Christmas tune, Dan in his Christmas best and looking as swoony as Mahri had ever seen him, reached out and asked her for a dance. Jessy laid her head on his shoulder and enjoyed the closeness. They looked peaceful and comfortable and just about perfect. Mahri's heart burst at the seams.

The moment was broken by another knock. The last of the guests. Jake left Mahri's side to greet his sister and Cleo. It was Hannah who was quick to grab a hug from her brother as soon as he opened the door. She hugged him so tight that he had to catch his breath.

He opened his mouth to say Merry Christmas, but she spoke first, "I am so sorry for what happened with Thomas the other night. He will not be in my life any longer."

Jake lowered his eyes, "That was not my intention."

"I know," she leaned down to meet his eyes, "He was not the same person then that he is now. My kidnapping changed him."

"I am sorry to hear that, but I am so glad to see you," Jake said giving Hannah another quick hug. And his words were true. He had put off dealing with his sisters because it was going to take a lot of work to make up for all of that lost time and he was busy falling in love with Mahri, but he was given sisters and it was about time he figured out how to be a big brother. If Christmas wasn't the right time to do that, then the time would never come.

Cleo and Lily followed closely behind. Cleo wasn't a sister exactly, but she was one of the group and she did need to be here. She was carrying boxes and pastries. Mahri's mouth watered at the sight of all of the baked goods as she rushed over to help her. Cleo was lovely and they all supported her baking, Mahri often agreed to help try out her new recipes. She gave a warm smile to everyone and headed straight to the kitchen to organize her goodies.

Lily was carrying gifts and a facial expression no one could read. Jessy took the gifts from her so that she could greet Jake. Her hug was much more tentative and her only words were, "Hello Brother, Merry Christmas." Out of character for him, he initiated a deeper hug. Her shoulders loosened and a smile formed on her lips. "Thank you for having us. I wasn't sure if we made the cut." Her eyes darted to Mahri as she spoke.

Betty noticed.

Jake did not. "Of course you were invited. You are family. Mahri and I are glad that you are here." He put his hand on her back ushering her into the cabin and out of the doorway. She headed straight to her sister's side and while she was polite and happy, she did her best to avoid being in Mahri's presence.

Now that everyone one had arrived and eaten and filled their glasses it was time for presents and Mahri had a plan. She wanted to go last.

She stood up and announced, "This has been just the best day, but we have one thing left that we have to do. It is present time." Jessy perked up. "Who wants to go first?"

Cleo volunteered and then the group proceeded to hand out their gifts. Some were homemade and thoughtful like the scarves that Hannah had knitted for everyone, or Cleo's "Pastry of the Month Club", but most of the gifts were group hangs. Betty gave the girls a year's worth of weekly cooking classes with a "very hot, very single, very French male instructor" who might be the "perfect man for Cleo" and Dan who bought Jake more poker night accessories, complete with Cuban cigars and a promise of the third and fourth Fridays of the month for "guy time" to which Phil, who had received a book entitled "Poker for Idiots" from Dan, readily accepted providing they could find an "adequate and agreeable" fourth player. Dan was very thoughtful and bought the girls personalized wine glasses for the girls' nights they would inevitably have when the boys were hanging out.

And so it went until the only two gifts left were Mahri and Jake. Mahri looked at Jake questioning his desire to go last. "I guess it is my turn. Before anything else, I want you to know how much I love you all and I'm glad that you are here."Her focus was on the room looking at all of those in this space with her, "You are my, our, family and I hope that we stay like this forever." Jake thought he heard a smirk coming from Lily's direction, but he couldn't be sure. Mahri handed out her gifts. She got spa packages for the girls, and they were set to go for Valentine's Day. For Phil, she paid for a new tattoo, and for Dan, a collection of romantic comedies that she knew he secretly appreciated. He bought a king-sized blanket as well, hoping that he and Jessy would be able to share this and have some time together.

The last gift was for Jake. She went to the tree and pulled out a big box. It was beautifully wrapped in red and white striped paper. She was nervous as she handed him the gift. "Here you go, Jake. I have been waiting quite a while to give it to you. I hope you like it."

"I will love whatever you give me because it is from you." She bent down and kissed him. By now, she could barely contain her excitement.

He opened the box quickly. He wanted to know what was inside but more importantly, he was in a hurry to get to give Mahri her gift. Jake tore through all of the paper and found a black leather jacket. He thought it was nice, but it wasn't exactly his style unless he had a motorcycle. He tried hard to find something positive to say because he knew that Mahri had thoughtfully picked it out. Maybe it was a fantasy of hers. Mahri stopped him before he could become frustrated. "Check the pocket." He looked confused but did as he was told. Inside he found a note and another box. "Note first?" he asked. She nodded. He looked around the room Phil and Dan seemed anxious but not miserably so.

The note was handwritten by Mahri,

Dearest, I remember not long after we met, you told me that your favorite Christmas gift was a bike from you mother. I wanted you to have something to remind her of you but since I have never seen you ride a bike, I thought I would have to upgrade that memory a bit. I hope this leads to many new memories that we can share together. xoxo, M

He looked. up with tears in his eyes. The fact that she remembered his childhood gift, that she brought a little bit of his mother back to him, that she helped him feel the love of Nana, and of his childhood spent in this cabin, they were all the most wonderful gifts that he had ever received. He would have been happy to stop here, but there was one more thing in the envelope.

A key.

It looked like it belonged to a... vehicle? He jumped up from the couch, threw his leather jacket on Mahri's shoulders, grabbed her hand, and ran out the front door pulling her behind him. The rest of the group followed them quickly behind, arriving just in time to see Jake's expression change from love and appreciation to joy and excitement.

"You bought me a motorcycle?" He stuttered incredulously. His eyes were wide and his smile broad. He seemed to bounce on his toes, unable to contain his energy.

Mahri nodded. She was ecstatic that he was pleased with the gift.

"She bought you wind in your hair and the freedom of the open road," Phil yelled from the porch. Jake was already sitting on the bike, but nodded at Phil's comment.

"I did notice," he said looking at Mahri and speaking to her in a low voice, "that there are two seats. I am assuming you want to have some new adventures together?"

"Only if you want me to accompany you." She answered shyly.

"That's all that I want, besides, any activity that assures you will have your arms around me is more than desirable." He pulled her close, still straddling the bike, and kissed her with such passion that the group groaned and began to retreat back inside the warm cabin.

Everyone except Lily.

Betty's gaze landed on her. She stood with herarms crossed in front of her body and her eyes shooting daggers at the happy couple, Betty grabbed her arm, causing Lily to jump. She spoke to her in a low whisper, "Jake has not noticed your disdain for Mahri. This is your chance to fix your face and be pleased for them. If you want your brother in your life, you have to find a way to pretend that you think the Mahri is the bees fuckin' knees. If you can't do that, leave or you will be removed. Am I clear?"

Lily watched her as a deer in the headlights, her anger slowly turned to submission. She nodded and forced a bit of a smile on her face but refused to speak as she turned and headed into the house. "It could use some work, but it shows progress." Betty pat her backand let her hand linger as she lightly encouraged her inside the doorway.

Soon enough Mahri and Jake were alone outside. Jake was holding her and placing soft kisses on her neck, breaking only to speak in a low groan, "Maybe I will have to let you drive sometimes so I can hold you as tight as I want you to hold me."

"Ohh that would be fun," She added, climbing behind him on the bike and wrapping her arms around him the way he imagined.

"I am so glad that you are happy." She whispered in his ear.

"You are all my happiness, all my sunshine, all of my joy," he spoke as he stood up from the bike, turning around to meet her eyes. He slid her in between his legs and held her there. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him even closer. His breath was warm in her ear, his tongue teasing her lobes, "I meant about the bike, happy about the bike," she croaked out through muffled breaths.

He pulled back and fixed the hair he had rumpled, then took her hands in his, helping her off the bike. He would have loved to keep her here for longer, but he had to break the spell, he still had gifts to give after all. His voice returned to normal. Jake, for the second time today, straightened his shirt and her dress. "It was a generous, thoughtful, and lovely gift that pays homage to my past and creates opportunities for the future. You couldn't have picked anything more perfect. Thank you, Mahri."

"You're welcome," She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his forehead. "But you should also thank Dan and Phil, I couldn't have pulled this off without them."

"I will thank them. I am becoming quite fond of them." He said, blushing.

Like family?" She asked.

"Exactly." Beaming, from the thankfulness of friends, for the gift of the bike, and for the thought of what the rest of the night holds, Jake looked around and realized that the others had gone inside. Suddenly he was aware of the amount of time they had been out in the elements. He immediately thought of the weather and was alarmed at his ability to neglect Mahri.

"Shall we join the others? I am sure that you are cold." He rubbed her arms, trying to increase her circulation.

Her voice was sultry and soft, "You were doing an excellent job at keeping me warm, besides, I thought you would want to go for a ride."

"There is time for that later. I can't wait to give you your presents. I have been waiting too long to wait any longer. They walked arm in arm back to the cabin, her head resting on his shoulder.

Once inside, Phil quickly handed over one large box for both Mahri and Jake. "I wanted to make sure you had this right away," Phil said.

Mahri knew what it was so she insisted Jake open it. He smiled as he pulled the helmet out of the box. It was a dull black old school biker helmet with the words HACKER emblazoned on the back. There was an additional surprise in there for Mahri, a matching helmet with "The Old Lady" carefully engraved on the back. Jake chuckled at the biker term and then looked directly at Phil, "Thanks man, for these and for the help you must have given Mahri."

Phil nodded and he looked toward Dan, "Thank you too. I never would have thought that we would all be in this place together, much less that you would all become people that I have grown to care for so much." Jessy had tears in her eyes, knowing that Jake must have felt so much to be able to share those words.

Betty interrupted. "Enough with the mushy stuff," She spoke firmly, but winked at Jake in reciprocation of his feelings. "You wanted to give the last present and Mahri is the only one who is still waiting, Let's get this show on the road."

Jake was appreciative for Betty's announcement as he had been trying to find the moment to give Mahri the gifts that he had for her and to fulfill a dream that he had a long time ago when she was just a girl on the other end of the phone.

"Very well," Jake conceded and went into the office to get her box. He had been too nervous to leave it under the tree. He had instructed her not to move and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

Jessy was so excited that she could barely sit still and was holding Dan's hand so tight that he was losing circulation. Hannah already had tears in her eyes, Lily looked bored, Cleo was happily eating some of Mahri's cookies, thinking of ways that she could improve the recipe. The most surprising expression was from Betty. Her usual calm and unaffected demeanor was replaced with an unbridled set of emotions. Her face seemed to carry all of her feelings. She was estatic and nervous and weepy all at the same time. Phil knew that it came from a place of love for Jake, that all she wanted was his happiness and that all she needed was for this night to end the way he hoped. He also knew of her affection for Mahri and how thrilled she was that the two women had found each other in this crazy world. He didn't know what else to do so he pulled her down on his lap and wrapped his arms around her, giving her a sweet soft kiss on her cheeks.

Jake looked flushed as he left the bedroom. He was excited and a little flustered. He wanted to remember all of the words of his heart. When he looked at her, he could only see love. She smiled at him sweetly. He was suddenly ready for all of it. The rest of the world faded away.

"Mahri, there are three parts to this gift and there is some participation involved. I want you to know that your genuine response is required. There will be no consequence or repercussion if you...respond in a way that I do not wish. I love you and I want these gifts to speak to you. I also need you to know that every part of me is in love with every part of you, even the part that drinks too much coffee and the part that is a scaredy cat, and the part that will punch a werewolf when threatened."

She laughed and it was still the most beautiful sound to fall on his ears.

The box was small, wrapped in gold foil paper, and a lovely white bow. Mahri knew this gift would change things somehow and she what she hoped for was the thing that she had been waiting for since he was just a voice on the phone all of those months ago. She didn't know it, but it had been the dream of her heart.

She untied the ribbon to find three keys. She was a little disappointed that there wasn't a ring, but she knew that his love for her didn't require that.

"The first key was part of a surprise that I had prepared for you before we were snowed in. Dan helped in a major way with this. I can't thank him enough, I needed his expertise and brute strength which he provided. I was glad that it made us closer than friends. Without looking directly at him, Mahri knew what these words meant to Jessy and Dan. That was a gift in itself.

He reached out his hand, asking for her to take it. He put the key box on her seat and walked her to the back porch. 'Remember when we first met and we told each other about our family? You mentioned your sister and her love for peonies and how you always missed her, like you missed part of yourself?"

She nodded as the tears fell. He paused to wipe them away with the back of his finger. He kissed each of her cheeks.

Jessy was crowding by the door, trying desperately to hear every word. Dan would have pulled her away, but he had spent a long time on this and he wanted to see Mahri's reaction as badly as Jessy did. Betty would have done something, but she was too wrapped up in the moment to consider moving from her happy place in her boyfriend's arms.

Jake waited for Mahri to gather herself. She loved the way that he could be so patient and so kind. She leaned into him for a bit. When she pulled away, he met her eyes and continued.

"I can not bring your Lily back, Love, as much as I would like to. I can however, hopefully, create a place where you can feel close to her."

He walked her into the backyard and her eyes lit on a gated garden. fairy lights as small as fireflies danced overhead. She headed straight for the gate, dragging him after her. To Mahri, there was magic in the air as the memory of her sister came flooding back.

The fence was made of black wrought iron with intricate floral designs. One gate allowed entrance into the garden, It was sturdy, and the top met at a point, like a Gothic arch. Above the arch, there hung a sign, made of wood, inlaid with "Lily's Garden". It was secured with a heart-shaped lock for which only Mahri had the key.

She placed the key into the lock and opened the gate, Metal lanterns turned on and created even more dancing light in the space. Her body spun as if automatically and a smile grew. She had a lightness about her that Jake hadn't noticed before and she began humming a tune that he didn't recognize.

Suddenly she stopped. She pulled Jake inside and flung her arms around him. She kissed his cheek and then looked to the afternoon sky, twilight and almost purple. "Lily," she spoke into the air, "This is Jake. He is my whole world. You would love him. I miss you every day. I hope you will join me here from time to time."

She turned around and met Jake's eyes. "You are perfect, this is perfect."

Jake responded, beaming at her, "You haven't seen anything yet. When the spring comes, the peonies will appear and this whole garden will be full of them, with plenty of room for you to dance." He watched her as the tears began to roll down her face." He kissed her cheek. The tears were good, not happy exactly, but full of love and peace. He continued, "...and this bench, it is just for you. I thought maybe you could sit here and spend some time with your Lily and maybe even from time to time, with mine.

Beneath two birch trees, sat a padded bench with a statue of a dancer, spinning on her toes resting behind it. This will be a lovely, peaceful place to visit and Mahri planned on visiting whenever she could. She hoped that he would join her from time to time and they could talk about the people that they loved and lost too soon. He didn't rush her as she stood with her thoughts. When she was ready to leave, she intertwined her fingers with his and pulled him out the gate, locking it behind her.

She saw Dan smiling from ear to ear. She grabbed his arm and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she whispered placing her hand on his cheek. There was no way that she could express the depth of her gratitude. He understood the gesture and was pleased that it meant so much to her. Jessy looked at him with pride as they returned to the couch by the fire.

Jake asked Mahri to retrieve the second key. This one was on a keychain with an inlaid wooden house that was beautiful in itself. She stared at it for a while and then asked, "What is this key for?"

Jake paused and signaled her to come to the front door. "Remember when we first met on this porch? Remember dancing on the back deck? Remember twenty questions on the couch or our very first meal together? Think of all of the firsts that we have had here, all of the things we shared with each other... I hope that you feel some sort of belonging here, that you feel this cabin is as much yours as it is mine, or Nana's, or my mom's. I hope that you will use this key to come home whenever you want." He paused as she was staring so intently into his eyes trying to mask her confusion. He didn't realize that he was being vague. To rectify this, he continued with his speech, "To be clear, I am asking you to move in, but if that isn't what you want, you are under no obligation. I want you to know that you are welcome and this place is our place as my heart is your heart. I would so love to have you as a part of every aspect of my life. I could imagine nothing better than waking up to you every morning and falling asleep in your arms, or with you in mine, each night."

Mahri couldn't speak for a minute. This was what she had been feeling and wanting, to spend every day with him, every night. She wanted to with all that was in her.

Her voice was thick with emotion, "Jake, of course I remember all of the firsts, and of course I want more, and I am absolutely certain that I want to live here, and to make this our place and I want to spend all of the time here, to join our worlds."

He picked her up and spun her around, plastering kisses on her cheeks. They stayed, embraced, foreheads touching, staring into each other's eyes, arms wrapped tightly around each other for a few moments too long, when they heard Betty clear her throat.

"It is getting late here, pals. What is the last key for?" She asked as if she didn't know. The truth was, she just couldn't wait anymore. She had never been so nervous in her life. She also wasn't sure how long Lily could keep her cool. She watched her closely as the smile that Lily had plastered on her face began to turn into a smirk.

Jake and Mahri broke apart with embarrassed smiles. "Right, "Jake said shaking his head slightly as he tried to bring his mind back to reality, "The last key..."

Mahri fumbled on the last envelope. Inside was a key, small and fragile, made of gold metal and emblazoned with her monogram. Mahri couldn't imagine what it would be for. She had already given her his world.

She stilled as he began to speak. "When we started looking for Hannah a long time ago, I was immediately intrigued by you. You continue to impress me with your compassion and your intelligence. You asked me questions that no one had cared enough to ask in such a long time and I trusted you when I had no space for trust in my heart. You opened me back up to a world of feelings that I had long forgotten about. We kept talking and before I knew it, you had melted my cold heart and brought me back to life. Every day, you give me more happiness and comfort than I could have imagined even the day before. I know I said that I want to spend every day with you, and I do, but I want those days to last forever."

Jake pulled out a blue box with a small lock on it. Mahri knew where the key should go. With a shaking hand, she put the key in the lock and turned the key. Her voice caught in her throat as a princess-cut diamond mounted on a simple platinum band was revealed. The ring was simple and elegant. She could imagine nothing better either in style or in meaning. She loved him...forever. He was the one and the only one there would ever be for her. He was the only one who held her future.

Jake got down on one knee and all of the girls held their collective breaths and tried to hold back their tears. "Mahri, the first time we danced, it was to a song that spoke of holding on to each other as we grow old, it spoke of only knowing each other when there was nothing else, of the life that is held only in the other's arms. That is the kind of love that I have for you, One that wants my last vision to be of you, my last breath to be in your presence, and my last dream to be of the long life we shared in our love. I will love you and fight for your happiness every day and in every moment that I am given. I know that the universe brought us together, and that fate has had a hand in our loving each other. Please marry me and allow me to show you how deep and how full life can be when we spend it side by side until our last dance."

All of the women and Dan were crying. Phil suddenly had something in his throat and refused to blink for fear that a stray tear would drop. No one said a word. Jessy did her best to hold her phone up as she had been assigned to video the moment, forgetting that she would be the worst of all of the criers. Dan saw her struggle and relieved her of her duties by taking the phone and simultaneously handing her a tissue. Her eyes. were light and full of joy. The tears that had flowed easily the rest of the evening had dried. She had no room for them in her heart and was full of more happiness than she believed possible. She met Jake's cheek with her hand and lovingly brushed her fingers across his cheek before she grabbed both of his hands and pulled him off of his knee and close to her.

"I have an answer, but I need to say something first." She took both of his hands in hers and kissed the palms, then lowered them between them so that they were facing each other, her full emotion speaking more than words could. Jake was a little nervous, but he nodded and held onto her hands tighter. She met his eyes and spoke, "I love you without shame or fear or question. I want to grow old with you side by side. I want to be your partner in all things not just the good. there will be many more things than just good. Sometimes, things will be hard and we will be mad at each other. You will inevitably talk to our friends about how I drink too much coffee and I will certainly gripe about how you like to jog. We will fight about many things like what our children's names should be and where they should go to college. Life won't always be easy, but it will be wonderful because we will be sharing every experience together. You will not be perfect and heavens knows I will not be, but I do know, without a doubt, we will be happy eating grilled cheese in front of the fire, laughing with our friends, and dancing under the stars and in the rain. I want to share this life with you until my eyes go bad and I can't remember anything but your love. I want to have my every dance and especially my last one to be with you. Please let me say yes and be your bride, Please be my husband for all of the wonderful and all of the terrible. I can think of nothing else I want or need. I can't wait for every moment that is to come."

There were hoots and hollers and congratulations though no one moved near the couple. There was something sacred in this moment. Jake and Mahri didn't look or notice, they only had each other's heart and mind at this moment.

Jake wrapped his arms around her. Where the other yes had been celebratory, this one had been quiet, full of so many things. Their lips crashed into each other. Jake's hand slipped down Mahri's back as he pulled her into him. He held her. appreciating her scent, orange, and persimmon. He ran his hands through the ends of her hair, reveling in the silkiness of it between his fingers, reminding him of the smoothness of her skin. She took in the strength of his arms and the way his touch was making her feel. After a while, during which the friends were trying to slow down their tears and memorialize the moment with video and selfies, he leaned his head back to meet her eyes. "You are my betrothed. I am at your mercy now more than I ever was. I love you. Thank you for saying yes." He leaned down to meet her lips. There was something about knowing for sure that those were the last lips he would ever crave, that they were for him and him alone, something in the fact that their hearts belonged to each other that made the kiss sweeter. It made the warmth she brought to his heart deeper. There was something about knowing that their world was going to be one that made the peace he felt expand even more. They kissed and the gentleness turned to fireworks, then to some passionate ass-grabbing. Mahri wrapped her legs around Jake's waist and he turned toward the bedroom.

Jake didn't know for sure, but he thought he heard Betty yell, "Good job, Stud. We're headed to the Aurora to have a drink for you."

Mahri waved a passive goodbye as she heard the door open without releasing him from his kiss, this was their moment and they weren't letting anyone get in the way. Jake wanted them to witness the ask, and he knew that Mahri would have if given the option, but he was glad that they were gone now, they had some celebrating to do.

Mahri was glad the friends had left, she loved them dearly, but she wanted to show all of her love to her fiancé in their bed, in their cabin, for the first night of the rest of their lives.

Maybe in the morning, they could dance, spend the day sans clothes, and later ride off in the sunset on Jake's new bike tackling whatever adventure lay ahead. Tomorrow and every other tomorrow was full of possibility and hope and joy and tears and coffee, but the most important thing that tomorrow held was their love.

Nothing was greater or would ever be greater than that.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Feels Like Home apologies and edits

Over the next couple of days, I will be completing my story Feels Like Home. If you have been following, that means that I will be editing out about three chapters to end the story more quickly and will be adding a few epilogues that are moments in time.

In the next couple of weeks, I will have Christmas events as short chapters. Like Christmas Day, which I have had sort of planned since chapter three. Maybe proposals or big events just for fun. Which I do not have planned. I couldn't leave this story hanging any longer. It needed to be finished and I needed to move on to other things. It mattered to me.

I am sorry that I have stepped away from writing for so long and have many things hanging around unfinished. I hope to be able to write some of those over the winter months.

I also know that the Duskwood Fandom is down in the dumps right now, let's hang in there boys and girls. Jake wouldn't give up on us.

If you were one of the people reading, thank you. If you weren't I am sorry to fill up this space with my jabber and I appreciate you and all of your encouragement.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

A oneshot in honor of 800 days since I played Duskwood for the first time <3

Jake was the first to wake up. He was used to it because of his job, wanting to finish early so he could have the rest of the day free.

He sat up in bed, looking to his right. A smile appeared on his face as he saw Macie sleeping. And it was replaced by laughter as he heard little Hope blow bubbles with her mouth in her sleep.

After spending the whole night crying, he now seemed like a little angel. Just like her mother.

He took a handkerchief and wiped her face. Every time he saw her, the protective instinct grew. Now it wasn't about protecting a single person.

It was still difficult for him to think that all of this was real. That he finally had a life with her. It had taken him being granted complete freedom in exchange for working for the FBI, but there he was. Having a normal life.

He slowly stroked Macie’s cheek and she was awake, blinking slowly.

She looked up and smiled at Jake. The light from the window made him a perfect silhouette of a shadow resembling the presentation of a hero. She bit his lip, controlling herself. It wasn't the time.

"Good morning," she said with a hoarse voice, still a little asleep. "Admiring the scene?" her voice sounded sweet, holding her daughter's little hand.

Jake nodded, bowing to them.

He rested his forehead on his wife’s, with a smile. Macie laughed happily. She also didn't believe she had this life with him and had something beautiful that the two of them had created. Having Hope had been something she'd never thought about if Jake hadn't come into her life. She was what showed her that a miracle could be born from a pure love like theirs. Hope had been the hope they had had to be together.

The little girl began to stretch, making small sounds. The parents laughed without making much noise.

Macie carefully placed a small kiss on her head and Jake placed a small kiss on her little hand. The little girl opened her eyes and looked at them curiously.

"Good morning, little angel," Jake said slowly, so as not to scare her.

"I thought I was your angel," Macie joked.

Jake smiled at her, placing his hand behind her neck, pulling her close to him and kissing her slowly.

“You are the angel, she is the little angel” he looked at Hope again and then at her “and you both are what I love most in this life.”

Macie's face lit up. She always seemed to be hearing those beautiful words for the first time.

She wanted to kiss him again, but Hope started to complain.

She laughed, sitting up in bed.

"It seems like someone is hungry," she picked her up, speaking to her tenderly.

“Let me help you,” Jake put her hair up in a small bun, and then looked at them lovingly.

He would truly give his life for them to be safe.

But also, he would do anything to continue being in their lives.

And he was sure that this life together was going to be wonderful if he had them to forget all the bad things he had gone through.

He finally got a family he was never going to lose.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

CHAPTER 30: Holding on.

See the Author's Note at the end of the chapter...

Mahri's POV:

The roads had been cleared and I had, regretfully, returned home. Work was busy since we had missed so many days due to the storm. All the overtime was worth the five days we had in absolute bliss. All of the torture that has come from going back to normal life is worth it for those memories.

I pour coffee into my half of the "his" and "hers" mugs that Jake had bought me and drink it fast. I have to admit, I am not the coffee snob that Jake is. You see, I can, and often do, drink coffee from the gas station, from the pot at work that has been sitting there unattended since morning, and from my old coffee maker that I can program the night before. I save the robot, which I call Al and greet with a hello every morning, for when Jake is over because that machine is intimidating. He says I can reprogram it, but it feels weird to do so now that I have named it. So, I drank a cup of coffee that Jake would have thrown down the sink as he shook his head. 

It is early to head into the office, but I hope to leave early as well. I have to pick up Jake's Christmas present, which I am so excited about, and put some last-minute touches on his gift. As much as I desire to be with him, I am glad I have a few more days to get everything ready. 

I remember that I needed to text Dan. He would be the one to help me get Jake's gift.

MC: Dan, are you ready for the delivery tonight?

Dan: Not even a good morning for your old pal?

MC: Hey there, Danny Boy. How are you?

Dan: Much better now that I know you aren't just using me.

MC: Never, that is Jessy's job. ;)

Dan: Cute. Yes. I am ready. See you tonight?

MC: 5:30?

Dan: See you then. 

MC: Hey, tell Jessy Good Morning for me. Thank you for bing who you are.

I put away my phone, more than a little jealous that Jessy and Dan get to wake up together. I miss Jake, even though I only came back to my apartment two days ago. Sleep has not been easy for me without him. I smile knowing that I will see him for a few hours tonight.

I hope that it won't be too long before I can wake up to him every morning, not too long before that cabin belongs to both of us. I am lost in my own thoughts when I hear that a message came through on my phone.

Jake: Open the door...

Without a thought, I fly across the room to open the door. Jake rushes through the door and places the coffee he brought me on the table. Then wraps his arm around me tightly, one on my back, the other in my hair and proceeds to kiss me soundly. My back is against the wall, he is flush against me. This kiss is fast and deep, a mix of desire and hunger for each other. 

He pulls back, smiling and sighing deeply, "That is much better. I missed you."

I smile back, "Jake, it was only two days." I protest, but he knows I feel the same.

"Two long, lonely days," he pouts and lowers his voice as he meets my eyes. They are cerulean and calm. He is wearing a casual shirt and some dark jeans, his usual attire for work and casual for most, but to me, he is the finest-dressed man on the planet. I am stunned by all of him, his kiss, his appearance, his love. 

His grip is loosening on my hips and I already hate it.

"What are you doing here? Not that it isn't a pleasant surprise..." I ask trying to keep him close for a bit longer.

"Two reasons. I missed not waking up to you this morning and I had to see you for a few minutes before work." He picks up the coffee cup off of the table hands it to me, and walks into the kitchen, eying my "hers" mug. Without a word, he takes it and dumps it down the drain. "I also had to save you from that horrible coffee that you are so fond of. I bought you a new machine so you wouldn't have to settle for such garbage." I break his words with a kiss. I knew he would react poorly to my choice of beverage.

Jake holds my face in his hands as a big smile creeps across his face. "Baby, you are so cute. You know that it is a machine and has no feelings, right?" He teases and kisses me on the forehead to let me know he means no offense.

"Yes, but it feels weird. I can't do it." I mock defiance. I know it is odd, but I am not going to admit that. Not now.

With one hand still on my cheek and a smirk gracing his lips, he mockingly responds, "We are going to have to process this more thoroughly tonight. I have some concerns about you and your relationship with the Rocket."

He should.

"Al," I corrected.

"But," he continues, "Right now, I have to go to work and so do you." He places another firm kiss on my lips, one that promises more to come. "Have a good day, Love. See you at six." His voice is deep and low.

My eyes are glossed over and I am dazed. Man, he can kiss.

"Love you," I nod as he walks away. I can still hear him chuckling under his breath though I don't know if the chuckle was for my dazed appearance or for my relationship with Al.

I sip the coffee that he brought. I have to admit it is much better than what I made. I hope that he will always make the coffee. That man, that wonderful man has made me late. It may mean that I have to miss lunch, but seeing him was worth any amount of sacrifice. I grab my bag and slip on my yellow Rothys as I rush out the door. 

Once there, I greet my colleagues, pour a terrible cup of coffee, and enter my office, shutting the door behind me. I have a deadline. The magazine has to go out despite the weather. Fortunately, I had worked some in the cabin and my article was almost done. I have been researching another local murder. I am a true crime reporter. It is my job to breathe new life into real stories of murder, or betrayal. Any crime will do, as long as it is harrowing and can create a good narrative. Someday, I will write my own tale, the story of a missing woman, a reporter who falls in love with a man in hiding, and the man who deceived all of his friends in a misguided effort to assuage his own guilt. I get lost in the thought of my own story and how unlikely it was that the two of us actually came together. We have and whether I can give credit to fate or to God or simply circumstance, I know that I will forever be grateful.

I put down my coffee and start to type when my phone shows another message...

Jake: What do you and AI want for dinner? Is he picky? Does he have any dietary restrictions?

I shake my head and respond. Another smile appears on my face.

MC: We are quite close, so if you want to be with me, you have to accept our relationship. I told Al the same thing.

Jake: I don't like the idea of sharing you, but I suppose arrangements can be made in this instance. ;).

Smiling, I silence my phone and buckle down. He doesn't know it, but I have plans across town and I don't want to miss the time that we have together.

--------------------

Jake's POV:

I can't help but tease her. She is too cute. Her brain works like no one I have ever met. She is a genius but can suspend reality to the point where she can find the compassion that extends to an espresso machine. I can't help but love her all the more for it.

I am having a hard time focusing at work because I have been holding on to a surprise for over a week now, one that Dan and I had been working on. I decided to wait until Christmas for the Dan surprise because of the storm, but now I had even more reason to be excited, I have a couple of more plans, big ones. If things go the way that I hope, this will be the best Christmas of her life and the best memory that I have. I used to think that I would never feel at home again after the loss of my mother and the loss of Nana. I thought that the last Christmas spent with my mother would surpass all of the rest, but Mahri has renewed my faith in tradition and love and the hope of future Christmases filled with family and laughter.

It is hard to focus when I can think only of her, but I must. 

I shake my head and clear my mind trying to focus on the computer screen in front of me, hopefully, the 0s and the 1s will distract me for a bit...

----------------------

Mahri's POV: 

I manage to finish my article and get Jake's present over to Dan's with just enough time to pick some dessert on the way. 

Jake: Are you almost here? 

MC: Yes, just pulling up the drive.

I see Jake walk out to greet me. He picks me up in his arms and spins me around. He cradles his nose in my hair, taking in a deep breath. "I couldn't seem to get you off of my mind today. I had to skip lunch because I was being so unproductive." He pouts.

"I am sorry, but I brought dessert," I answer, trying to lighten the mood. 

He nibbles on my ear and in a husky voice, he whispers, "you are all the dessert that I need, well, unless you brought chocolate..." He smirks.

I feel my skin warm up as my arms wrap around his neck and his mouth meets mine. His hands make their journey down to my hips and land there as we continue to relish in the touch and taste of each other. People watching us would think that we had been separated for months.

His hands move to my hair. Without moving away from me, he leans back and meets my eyes. "Should we eat? Everything is ready." I nod and he takes my hand in his, grabs dessert in the other, which just so happens to be a chocolate cream pie, and leads me into the cabin. 

Every time I enter the cabin, I am calmer and more grounded. I don't know the reasons. Maybe it is because Jake is here, maybe the fact that it is in the woods, surrounded by trees, maybe it has to do with the professions of love and the memories it holds. It is a wonderful respite from the world. I hope with all of my heart that soon, this will be the place that I return to every night and it will be here that I can live my life with my love. 

There is soft music playing in the background. It is slow and sweet. I hope we get to dance later. It has been a while since he held me in his arms like that. The fireplace is roaring as usual, casting an orange glow to the room. In addition, candles are lit and placed around the entirety of the cottage. The smell of oregano and garlic fills the air, making my mouth water. 

He walks hand in hand to the table and pulls out my chair for me, laying the napkin in my lap before pushing me in and giving me a quick kiss on the back of my hand. The middle of the table is filled with fresh bread, pasta, and salad. He pours us each a glass of lovely red wine. I am blown away by his ability to sweep me off of my feet. "Jake, this all looks incredible. But I would have been happy with some of your world-famous grilled cheese. I just want to be in this cabin with you." 

"I wanted to make tonight special and I know that you had a long day," he responds, reaching for my plate to serve up the pasta. Our seats are next to each other so we can maintain contact. Once the food is ready to go, he picks up his glass for a toast. "To AI, my girlfriend's boyfriend. May they live long, happy lives." He smirks and I punch him in the arm. He places his hand on my thigh and leaves it there.

"Ok, Ok," He raises his glass again, "To Mahri, my love, for all that she is and for all of the love that we share." 

"And to Jake and all of the things he has taught my heart." I say as our glasses clink. The silence surrounds us in the best possible way. It allows us to decompress from the day and be enveloped in the comfort of each other.

Dinner is almost finished when he breaks the silence. "How was your day, Baby?" His hand moves behind my back on the chair and he turns his body to face mine.

"It was long. That kiss from this morning did not help my focus. I had to skip lunch too, but I finished my article." I am a little proud.

"Love," He leaned in toward my ear and whispered, "You are amazing," Jake said, finishing his sentence with some kisses that landed on my collarbone.

Pretending to be unaffected, I followed up his question with my own, "How was your day?"

"Once I figured out how to get you off of my mind, it went fast. That was no easy task. You are quite enchanting and very difficult to forget." He responds.

"Enchanting?" I ask and grab the collar of his shirt, bringing his face close to mine and giving him a sweet kiss. The kiss begins to deepen, but I pull away. We are still at the table and these activities usually call for a more comfortable location, or at the very least they require a table devoid of food.

"We have dessert to eat," I sing-song as I quickly kiss him on the cheek. I begin to pick up the plates. He quickly stops me. "I don't want our time together to be spent on such mundane things as dishes. I will do them later." He insists and leads me to the kitchen. "I will, however, " he adds, "take some of that pie.

He heads to the espresso machine and begins our drinks while I serve us each a piece of pie, then put the rest in the refrigerator. I know that pie will not be wasted, not in this house. 

He has something he wants to say. I am trying to wait for him to spill, but I can't wait any longer. "What is going on, Jake?" I look softly at him and wait for a response.

" was wondering, since you have been so accommodating tonight, I thought I might ask you something. Would you like to spend Christmas Eve here? Overnight? I would love to wake up with you in my arms on Christmas. I can't think of a better present." his voice sounds unsure, but the words carry confidence. He already knows the answer.

" I don't think that I could think of a better way to start any day, especially Christmas. I have a hard time sleeping without you after the storm." I hope he hears the depth of what I was trying to say. I want him to know that he is who I want to be with and that I am ready to be with him for all of the good and all of the bad. I believe we could fight anything as long as we are together.

-------------------

Jake's POV:

I understand what she is trying to say, that her heart matches mine, that it is the right time for us to be together, that we have a future and we don't want to wait for it anymore.

I am even more excited to give her the presents that I have for her.

Our coffee cups are empty and the pie is gone. Offering her my hand I ask, " May I have this dance?" She nods and moves to my side. I wrap my arm around her. 

The music had been playing all night, but I hadn't paid much attention until now. I don't care what song is playing as long as she is the one that I am dancing with, but this song is romantic and swooping in both musically and lyrically.

There in the middle of the living room, with the fire blazing and the candles dancing, I wrap my arms around her waist, she returns the gesture and lays her head on my chest. My chin rests so perfectly on top of her head. I am reminded of how perfectly she fits in my arms, reminded of how many things had to work out for us to make it to this moment, reminded of the moment that we met, the first night we shared in this now sacred space.

Our bodies sway and move to the music and I am overwhelmed that this can be my life, our life. We stay in this moment lost in our own thoughts, breaking occasionally to meet each other's eyes or lean in for a few kisses. 

I don't know what to do with this feeling that I have. I don't even know how to describe it. I only know that in the shadow of our love, I seem small. Nothing seems as powerful as what the two of us share.

Sometimes love is loud and bold, you want to scream from the tallest building of the love you share. It forces you to run and jump and make changes. In those moments, the world seems brighter and more alive. You feel electric and invincible. Mahri has made me feel that over and over again.

But sometimes love is soft and quiet, sweet and honest, like tonight has been. It is in these moments that I feel our souls intertwine like our fingers when we hold hands. It is those moments where we are so close that I can't find her end and my beginning because we are one. With her in my arms, I feel all of our love and all of our forevers.

----------------------------------

Later, after the candles have burned out and the coffee mugs have been emptied, I walk her to the car and give her a soft and loving kiss goodbye. I speak to her of my love and hope for the days when we won't have to leave each other, the nights when I don't have to watch her drive away. I can't help but think of her and of the future that we will share. I can not wait to ask her to share this cabin and our life together. As I watch as her taillights disappear and turn to return inside pondering all of the ways our lives are going to change, I can't help but smile. I miss her already and quickly reach for my phone and text her.

Jake: "I love you because I know no other way than this: So close that your hand on my chest is my hand -- so close that when you close your eyes, I fall asleep." **

Her response is quick. 

Mahri: I love you for all of who you are and all that you show me to be. I will love you until my soul fades because you own it in every way.

I place the phone in my pocket awed that someone like her can love me. I am still amazed at her beauty, the incredible person that she is, of the fact that she is in my world. Months ago, she ran to me in the rain and bore her soul to me in the storm. She trusted me with her heart when logically, it made no sense. She made my heart grow in love for her with every moment we spent together and made it impossible to imagine a life without her in it. That day, she took the greatest risk anyone could take and I will be forever grateful to her, to the fates, to God, or to whoever I owe my happiness to.

I close the door behind me and hear it latch. It is the door to the place that has brought me the greatest joys and the greatest pain. It was here that I entered this world and had the best of all childhoods. It was in this cabin that I first learned what love was and where I learned the pain of heartbreak. In this place, I determined that my heart would never be able to handle that pain again and in this same home, I decided to lock myself off from any form of love. 

But it is also in this cabin that I returned to love and remembered what it felt like to be treasured, protected, and cared for. Mahri has delivered me hope and given me the dream of a future that I had long given up on. She has shown me unconditional love, one that shares tears of joy and pain, one that will fight for me and with me. Our is a love that cats about our souls and not about our pasts. That is a true gift.

It is in this wonderful little cabin nestled safely in the background of a rather busy town that I intend to ask my love for a forever. It is in the cabin that I plan to share all of my future heartaches and joys. It is here, where I am determined to make her feel loved and treasured for the rest of her days, that I intend to call her my bride, dance in the rain, make love by the fire, raise my children, and grow old by her side.

With light steps, I head to the bedroom, and though I am alone and want her here, yet I am filled with a calm that I have been robbed of for so many years. I see the path before me and it is full of love, so much more love than I could have dreamt up, so much more love than I could ever deserve. 

All of my love is held in her soul and all of my being is wrapped up in her. Her eyes are the only light I need, her lips my only nourishment. She is my comfort, my solace, my joy, and my peace. In her arms, I feel safe and all of the dark corners of my past are gone.

I am going to be confident in the depth and breadth of our love. I am going to capture it, hold on tight, and never let her or it go for she alone is the place that feels like home.

**Quote from Steve Oedekirk

Authors note: I have chosen to remove a few chapters of this story and end here. I will have epilogues so we can find out what their Christmas is like, and maybe see some times when they live out their lives together, but for the most part, this is it. I didn't want to leave this story incomplete and I wanted to give this the attention that it deserves, but I need the freedom to write other things without forsaking this story. Thank you to the few of you who kept reading and for the encouragement that you gave me through this process.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Just a quick little write to get my juices flowing again and to distract myself while I am waiting for #moonvale. I still love them so much.

Waiting

Sitting and staring at the phone was driving him mad. He thought he was long past waiting for her response to his texts. He thought he was well beyond waiting in nervous torture for her to send him any notice that she was safe and happy and that she still loved him.

But it had been three days and two long nights since she had called to tell him about her day and whisper words of love to help him sleep.

It had become their habit to speak every night to share their world with each other. He hadn't realized how much he had come to depend on those moments, hadn't realized how empty his life was without her. Though they still couldn't quite be together, they were connected in a way that he suspected, most other couples were not.

She was what made him more than human. She gave him humanity and filled his heart with something that he was sure he didn't deserve.

She should have been home from her business trip a couple of hours ago. He had distracted himself for a while, watching dishes and cleaning his living area, but there was nothing else to distract him. He could not separate himself from the worry.

If she didn't text him soon, he knew he would do something reckless, like track her phone, fly to where she was, or beg her to come to him and never leave.

He stared at the phone, begging it to ring, begging for a text, for any sign from her.

He imagined her gorgeous laugh and soft voice in his head. He imagined what it would be like when, one day, they would meet and the world would vanish. He dreamed of the day their lips would meet and he could take her all in, from her aroma to her warmth. He imagined what it would be like to sweep her up in his arms and do all of the things that he had only imagined in the middle of the night.

More than that, he wished for the days when they could share a couch and talk of their days together. When they could wake up early to eat waffles and speak of their plans for the day. When their world was one and their home was in the presence of each other.

And he was still imagining her and their life when the phone notified him of a message. Finally.

"Home safe, missing you." He couldn't keep the smile from growing on his face.

But just as quickly as he read the message, he heard a knock on the door.

Cautious, he grabbed the bat that sat beside the door. He wasn't expecting deliveries or a visitor. He couldn't trust the outside world yet, so he walked cautiously to the door and squinted into the peephole.

He saw a woman, blonde and stunning, better than she had ever appeared over a screen. She looked nervous and though he knew that he should send her away, he simply could not. Dropping the bat, he flung the door open with such intensity that it caused her to jump. Her cheeks flushed a little. He couldn't help but think that it added to her beauty. She had a bag of what appeared to be food and a suitcase following behind her.

Their eyes met. He froze. She began to look nervous, tucking her hair behind her ears. Without apologizing or saying anything, he ushered her inside while reaching around to grab her suitcase. She smelled like cinnamon. Once inside, he took the bag and placed it on the table.

As soon as the back hit the counter, she ran into him, quickly wrapping her arms around his waist and almost setting him off-balance.

He returned the hold that she had on him and refused to let go for what he was sure was an inappropriate length of time. He didn't care. He couldn't believe that she was here in the flesh, that she had risked uncertain dangers to get here.

Eventually, he pulled back and stared into her eyes again, trying to convey every feeling he couldn't put words to. "You crazy, wonderful, gorgeous woman... What are you doing here?" the words fell out of his mouth in a blubber. His thoughts, normally formal and thoughtful, had betrayed his messy heart.

She looked up at him and smiled softly, "I had a craving for Chinese food and remembered a promise made to me long ago." She removed a hand from his waist and brought it to his face, gently caressing his cheek, then added, "My heart was more than a little homesick."

He chuckled. It was deep and guttural, a mix of delight and attraction and only for her. Reluctantly, he began to release her. "I guess I should make an effort to fulfill my promise and get some plates for us before the food gets cold, I mean that is the least I can...."

"We can warm it up, later, you know." She interrupted. She reached for his hand and locked their fingers together.

It was at that instant that he placed his lips on hers, gently claiming her. Then, knowing that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom finally showing her all of the things he had been dreaming of.

[paigenoelchas-blog]

Everafter Epilogues:

preparations

Author's Note:

This is a previous chapter from Feels Like Home, but it will be independent of that story and will be written as little snippets in the lives of the gang but mostly Jake and MC focused. The timeline will be erratic. This chapter, save a few edits, has been published under the main story, but I thought it would work here as a friendship tale. I have one more edited work and then there will be more chapters to come that are new snippets of their lives together. Also, if you haven't read Feels Like Home, it is now complete.

Mahri's POV:

Phil and Dan stand in the garage admiring the bike I had picked out for his Christmas present. Jake told me that the best gift that he had received was a bike from his mom on his tenth birthday. I wanted to remind him of that gift and let him know that there could still be a world filled with amazing Christmases and unbelievable happiness.

"He is not going to know how to handle this beautiful machine." Dan starts, "Are you sure I can't take this off your hands for you?"

"He is an excellent driver," I say defending Jake, My hands are on my hips.

"And this, "Phil adds, "Is an excellent bike. Well done, M."

"Thanks." I beam. I am proud of this bike, a 1977 Indian Chief. Of course, it has two seats, a priority of mine in case he decides to take me for a ride. He will. I think about the adventures that we are sure to share and smile. I also think about him in a black leather jacket with my arms wrapped tight around him and my smile widens. The bike had one previous owner and low mileage. She is a beauty, black and retro and classy... very Jake-like.

"He will love it, the lucky jerk," Dan says sincerely and nods his approval, "Did you get a helmet to match the bike? Seriously Mahr, he needs a cool helmet."

Panic sets in. Phil notices. "I can handle that for you. I know a guy. It isn't a problem. Besides, I couldn't think of the perfect gift for my buddy. This seems just right." I am so glad that Jake and Phil are friends now, and so grateful that he is dating Betty. I am also more than thankful that Dan and Jake have reconciled. 

"Phil, I am impressed that you have your Christmas shopping done. three whole days beforehand." I quip and nudge him in the arm. He winks at me, understanding that I am teasing him. He is much more responsible than people give him credit for. He is also much more thoughtful since he met Betty. "Thank you, that would be amazing and if you get him a helmet, that is one more thing I don't have to stress over. I hug Phil and then Dan, "Thank you so much, thank you both so much for all of this. I haven't had friends like this in a while. I don't think Jake ever has, It means a lot to us." 

Dan stiffens and clears his throat, trying to hide emotion, "When does he get his bike and how are you getting it to him?" 

"I was going to blindfold him and have him see it here."

"I have a better idea," Dan blurts out, "Leave it to me. It will be there on Christmas morning. I will deliver it myself, red ribbon and all."

I nod and hug each of these wonderful friends. Quickly, their attention turns back to the bike. They continue to stand there after I turn to walk away, I am not sure they even notice I am leaving. They just stare at the bike and occasionally grunt things at each other without approaching the bike, just staying back with their arms crossed in approval. I shake my head and leave the garage. "Boys and their toys," I whisper over my shoulder. I have no idea what men think when staring at a vehicle, but these two see something I don't.

I just hope that Jake is as delighted with the bike as they are.

---------------------

Jake's POV:

The girls were supposed to be here five minutes ago. I need their help today of all days. I begin to pace. I am not nervous about my decision. I know that Mahri is the one that I want to spend all of my life with. I just want to make it perfect. I have to get this right. This is the only proposal that I will make. 

While I haven't confirmed that I am planning on proposing to Mahri, Betty knows. She knows everything and never stops reminding me of that. Confidence like that is a gift and someone who can have that without making other people feel small is a wonderful thing. Betty is incredible and I am so glad for our long friendship. 

However deep her intuition is, I don't think my affection for Mahri is a very well-kept secret. I am utterly at her disposal.

I also know that Jessy has an idea that I am going to propose. I know that she will be overjoyed. Her friendship is one of the rare sorts that truly delights in the happiness of her friends. Mahri's joy will fill her up. I am glad that the two of us are at a place where she can trust me with Mari's heart. We have become good friends, closer than that, I suppose. I am lucky to have two such tremendous women in my life. Three of course, if you count Mahri. 

I am about to text Betty to ask her location when I hear her laughter and see her peek around the corner, arms interlinked with Jessy. They are in the middle of a discussion, no doubt about Dan or Phil. Their faces light up like two women in love. I can't help but smile at the sight of them.

It is odd, I think, that those two particular men occupy their hearts. But I am odd and Mahri loves me. Dan and Phil have proven themselves to be reliable and I trust them to love these women properly. It is another thing that I am thankful for this morning. Being in love makes me appreciate all of the glories of this life. It makes me appreciate love in all of its forms. Happiness may make me a sap, but I wouldn't go back to living the other way, not for all of the money in the world.

"There he is, " Betty begins. "I am surprised that you haven't called yet. We are five minutes late."

"Six minutes," I correct her, "and my hand was on the phone." Betty's smile is broad and deep, the smile of a friend who knows you inside and out. She leans over conspiratorially into Jessy's ear but whispers loud enough for me to hear, "Look at the man who is about to make the second-best decision of his life. Have you ever seen such a sap?"

I smile, "What was the best decision?" I ask, remembering that her love language is name-calling.

"It was the day you decided that we should be friends. I have carried you a long way, brother." She responds.

"Indeed you have, but I don't think I had much say in the decision. That was all you. You have always been bossy." I say, acknowledging the impact that she has had on my life. She nods in agreement, knowing that I love her for all that she has been to me and for the person that she is. "Care to help me with one more task?"

She nods again as Jessy runs up to give me a hug which I happily return. Betty slugs me in the arm before doing the same.

"I am confused about a couple of things," Betty asks blankly. "I thought you were going to ask her to move in with you? I also thought you were unsure about her response."

"I am going to ask her to move in with me before I propose. I couldn't wait to ask her any longer life is too short to waste a second. I have already waited all of my life for her. I am confident that she will comply." I answer.

Jessy giggles. I am confused.

"Comply?" Betty makes a face. "Please tell me that you aren't going to ask her to comply with your request for marriage. Not romantic, dude. Please, please tell me that you have something less formal prepared, maybe use phrases like 'I love you' or 'the sun rises and sets in your eyes.'"

"I think I have something better to say, but nothing about the sun rising. Do I need to add that?" Now I am panicking. Am I going to mess this up? Do I need a speech written? I had planned on speaking from the heart like I usually do with Mahri.

"NO!" Betty stopped me, "You don't need a speech and you will do fine. I am just razzing you. Just stay away from your big words.  When you use them, it makes things seem too rehearsed and the words lose their meaning."

Jessy is nodding in the background. She finally speaks, "She adores you. There is nothing to worry about. Just tell her how you feel, she will say yes and remember this moment for the rest of her life." I begin to feel my nerves gurgle again at this thought. What if I mess this up and we are stuck with an awkward memory for the rest of our days?

Betty side-eyes Jessy, "No pressure. Just be honest. She can't resist you. I should know. I helped create the stud that you are now."

She always knows the right thing to say, "Right," I mumble with my head down. I have a lot of practical things to consider. I fidget with my keys.

Betty notices my nerves and breaks the silence, "Shall we go inside or stay out here and freeze our butts off?" 

Jessy is more than excited, "Go inside of course. So, Jake, what kind of cut were you thinking of, and what metal? There is the traditional gold, white gold, platinum, titanium..." She grabs my arm and pulls me through the door. 

I shrug, "Let's go see what we can find. I have the two best people with me to find the perfect ring for Mahri."

Jessy smiles and continues running through the options. I had no idea that she knew so much about this stuff. "You could do a platinum princess cut diamond, which is classic, or a...." her voice trails off as we continue inside. Betty looks at me with a pitiful smile. She knows that in about two seconds, I am going to shut down.

Betty leans in, "Hang in there, friend. This part will be over soon enough and you will be the happy sap that I have grown accustomed to." She pats me on the back as she walks ahead and tries to find an employee.

-------------- 

MC POV: 

I finish my work quickly spurred on by the knowledge that it is the last thing I have to do until after Christmas. It is officially vacation and tonight I was ready to go out. Getting caught up after the storm has been exhausting and I can't wait to spend a few more days in bliss with Jake. I am hoping that I can stay with him over the next week and not just for Christmas.

The second I walk out of the door, I text Jake.

Mahri: Guess who is officially on vacation...

Jake: The woman I love?

Mahri: Assuming that is me, yes.

Jake: You know that it is you. It is only you. It will always be you.

Mahri: :)

Mahri: Can we go out tonight, maybe to the Aurora? 

Mahri: We have been cooped up for a long time. I bought a new dress.

Jake: I have some things that I have to get done at the house. 

Jake: Do you want to come over?

Jake: Wait. I have a better idea. Hang on. 

Jake: I happened to run into Betty and Jessy in town. They want to know if you want to join them for a girl's night. You haven't been out with them in a while.

Mahri: You wouldn't mind?

Jake: Of course not. I love the affection that you all have for each other.

Mahri: Then I would love that. Have them text me.

That instant, I receive two texts.

Betty: Ditch that loser boyfriend of yours and hang out with us girls tonight.

Jessy: Please come hang out with us tonight. We miss you.

M: (to both women) I would love to hang out with you both. It has been too long. See you tonight, 6:30?

Jessy: Yay! I can't wait!

Betty: See you then, Sunshine. We have some things to talk about. 

Jessy: I will invite the other girls as well if you are alright with that.

Betty: OOOH, new people. I love meeting new people.

I don't know whether to be scared or thrilled by that last statement. Hopefully, Jessy can prepare Betty for the three women that she is about to meet. I also hope that Betty can tame her tongue for Hannah's sake.

Then I remember how good Betty is at reading people. She is someone that I trust implicitly. My nerves turn back to excitement.

I am about to put away my phone when I think of one more thing.

Mahri: Jake?

Jake: Yes, Love.

Mahri: I won't see you tonight....

Jake: I know. I hope there aren't many more nights that we have to say that.

Mahri: Me too.

Jake: You could always stop by after and stay the night if you want.

Jake: I would always like that.

Mahri: I may be drunk, you won't like me when I am drunk and you have work in the morning. 

Jake: I like you in every possible scenario.  I do have work, but it would never stop me from wanting to spend the night with you.

Mahri: You are the sweetest man.

Jake: No, I am just in love with a wonderful woman. If you don't come tonight, stop by tomorrow morning. I will make you breakfast and my hangover cure.

Mahri: Love you

Jake: ...and I love you. Be safe and CALL ME if you get into trouble.

Jake: Actually, call me BEFORE you get into trouble.

Mahri: ;)

I head home to change and see the girls. I wonder if this is what my life will always be like. Will I always be surrounded by such wonderful, amazing people who love me and whom I adore? I can't imagine a better future. 

My drive home is quick. I hop in the shower and change into a tight black dress. It has lace cutouts in all of the right places. The back dips to just above my ass. Jake wouldn't let me leave the house in this dress, not because he is controlling, but because we wouldn't make it that far before he ripped the dress off me. The thought makes me blush and miss him. I think maybe I will stop by the cabin tonight and add some red, very high heels that would make any boy's head spin. I can't wait to see what he thinks of me in them. I am going to have fun with the girls, but who is to say that I can't also have fun with my man?

I am on vacation after all.

------------

Jake's POV:

I wasn't entirely honest with Mahri. I am swamped, but never too busy to be with her. Mahri and I had been ignoring our friends for quite a while. It is easy to do when you are in love the way that we are. Spending time with Betty and Jessy today made me realize how much Mahri must miss them, whether she realizes it or not. 

Betty and Jessy were so excited by the thought of being together that I wanted Mahri to have that chance as well.

So, after I told Mahri I was busy, I did something that I never do. I invited Dan and Phil over for dinner and poker. I even invited Thomas, the idea of him was growing on me. I had almost forgiven him for his willingness to sacrifice Mahri's life at the mines. Almost. 

He is Hannah's fiancé, after all, we had to work things out eventually. I may never forgive him for his dismissive attitude toward Mahri, but we can be cordial. I am going to deal with my sisters eventually so I have to deal with him. But not tonight. Tonight is for fun and celebration. 

I am nervous and excited. I haven't hosted a party. I haven't spent time with many people. I still haven't become that acquainted with social norms. To say I am slightly nervous is an understatement, but I appreciate these men who have been added to my life and hope that tonight becomes the start of a really good thing. 

I feel anxious, but I channel my inner Betty and toughen up, make snacks, and set up the poker table. I make sure the beer is cold and the pizza is hot. 

I take one last look around the room when I hear a knock on the door. Taking one last breath, I think about how proud Betty will be that I did this and how happy Mahri will be that I consider these men friends. I smile and open the door.

"Welcome to the cabin. Allow me to rid you of your extra cash." Phil greets me and slides inside the cabin.