paix-calme

[paix-calme]

so fucking stupid

[paix-calme]

[paix-calme]

[paix-calme]

sometimes the bad days are really bad and i wonder if this is right

[paix-calme]

fuck fuck fuck i’m not sure of anything anymore and maybe i’m just reading too much into things and maybe i’m overreacting but i hate this

[paix-calme]

good morning

we go to sleep with your arms wrapped around me, i’m locked in your embrace safe and sound;

we separate in the night, finding more comfortable positions as we’re sprawled out on the bed;

as dawn breaks, we find ourselves making our way back to each other, you stroking my cheek while i feel the rise and fall of your chest;

and time feels like it has stopped for us because there’s nothing more beautiful than two sleepy lovers holding each other as the sun shines in.

[paix-calme]

today was a pretty good day, was quite productive in managing to find research for mkting report and had lunch with the sisters; just the three of us which we havent done in awhile.

my lower back and cramps were killing me the whole day and it was so annoying...plus with all the shitty self-image issues coming back it just felt damn exhausting..

met X for dinner and a movie (johnny english - which was a memes movie HAHA) and it was so nice to see him. like its only been 2 days since i last saw him but t always feels so long and i just want to close any gaps between us cause i can’t stand it.

today i learned that the flowers he buys every month for me are quite expensive and i had to keep nagging him to not buy so expensive ones cause i really am a simple person and i know its his way of showing his love for me so i’m not going to stop him from buying but at the same time i don’t want him to spend so much..

every time he sends me home i wish that we live tgt alr because i just wanna be able to head home tgt and just go to bed knowing he’s there with me. i wish that i could sleep over more often but with my parents being so strict its hard.

it’s coming to 1.30am now and im super pooped so time to hit the sack and hopefully my cramps will ease up tmr sigh

[paix-calme]

feeling shit shit shit

[paix-calme]

not sure if its because of the pain of my period from the cramps and lower back aches, plus diarrheoa, i’m feelig realy crappy today..

to be honest, i’ve been feeling rather down these couple of days like even though there’s happy moments there’s just this feeling i can’t shake off.

trying to remind myself of the good things that happen to me today but it’s so hard to stay positive.

i think i’m just gonna sleep earlier and pray that tomorrow gets better.

[paix-calme]

i’ve realised that i have a bad tendency to make whatever point i am in life right now (no matter how good) bad. and its honestly super unhealthy, because no matter how many good things i have going for me, i just focus on the bad stuff.

i realised this time around that because im around a friend who’s quite negative a lot, i’ve been quite affected by her? things that have been bothering her, i feel are subconsciously causing me to reflect on my own life and wonder if its that great?

for example, X and i had a couple of small fights the past weekend and i got so bothered by them even know we acknowledged the problem on both our sides and forgave each other so its like done and we’re ok but i kept harping on the irksome parts and kept asking myself if i could deal with that like forever??

and just cause the past couple of days, we haven’t had much conversation besides checking up on each other during the day, i kept overthinking about it and stupid shit like that

but now im thinking back and im quite done being this way? because 1. not every rship is gonna only have its ups but if you hv a partner who’s willing to work thru the downs, apologise when in the wrong, and make amends then i think i’m pretty lucky.

nobody is perf; i hv annoying and bad qualities of my own too and he chooses to look past them (at least i hope he does).

because when you love someone you love ‘in spite of’ not just ‘because of’.

and 2. wtf i already have a pretty good bf?? like he texts me good morning and good night every single day and he checks up on me when he can. why can’t i be secure and just do my own thing and be ok that sometimes there just isn’t much to talk about?

at the end of the day, he’s my best friend and we still have our fun, i just gotta remember that life happens and not everyday is gonna be exciting.

u have a lot to be grateful and happy for clarice. focus on what you have and the happiness it brings you.