paladihn

[paladihn]

blushing is so stupid you're literally my blood wtf. obey me

[paladihn]

[paladihn]

jokes that will literally never not be funny to me:

saying “speedrun strats” every time you fuck up

saying “first try” when you’ve tried the thing like 15 times, minimum

[paladihn]

honestly

[paladihn]

obviously dietary requirements aren't a joke but my grandma sometimes runs errands for her church and i asked her what she's up to today and she said extremely seriously "ive got to track down the body of the gluten free christ, julia"

[paladihn]

i leave my mark wherever i go (loose strands of hair)

[paladihn]

notices that girl sitting in front of me on the bus has black and white drone footage on her phone and when she taps baby orangutans with her big acrylic nails and they silently get replaced with clouds of dust and debris

[paladihn]

which one of you is hovering your crosshair over me i can f⊹ucking feel it on me

[paladihn]

i guess tumblr thought my name was too long and shortened it in this reblog notification i’m cryinf

pl…eep

[paladihn]

let me dig this bullet out of your shoulder in the most homoerotic way possible. that’s crucial to the healing process. i know what i’m doing

[paladihn]

house md is wild because house tells wilson that he’ll sacrifice many things but never himself and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he

[paladihn]

"what's your dream job??" Uhh to have 17 weird little hobbies that I don't have to be good at and hang out with friends. I get money via being the world's specialist little princess

[paladihn]

I know why I am here. Its something only I can do.

[paladihn]

drag queen called Sissy Puss whose sole act is pushing a boulder on and off the stage

[paladihn]

I fucked up so badly on this sudoku page no ones ever gonna wanna have sex with me

[paladihn]

Bedtime. 

[paladihn]

this is how Roman the Showman will light up the sky