pampompom

[pampompom]

Just realized I’m the only one from my coworkers to be single.... and I’m talking 1 out of 11. I’m trying really hard to see the bright side but all I can think about is, am i really that awful?

And that’s why it’s not cool for Pamela to have free time, I start to think all kinds of bullshit

[pampompom]

do you ever just ‘there’s probably something medically wrong with me but i’m just gonna ignore it and hope i don’t die’?

[pampompom]

Hello Tumblr, it’s been a while, there’s a lot that has been goin on, moving out from my parents house (wich I still visit every weekend), lost of work, friends leaving, friends coming back, having an intense but toxic “relationship”, wich is the reason of my visit today, I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately, maybe loneliness it’s catching up, I used to feel so free and empowered, now I just feel lonely, I’m not saying leaving was a bad decision, it was a one way street to nowhere, I was feeling more than I was receiving, but I was feeling something, lately I’ve been feeling empty, that I’m going nowhere in my relationships, work’s fine and family’s fine, but how am I? I’ve been going to therapy but I’m not sure she can help me with this, I’m so scared to realize that I’m the problem and that it’s going to take more than I’m willing to give to “break the spell”. It was a good decision to leave, and maybe missing whatever that was it’s worse

P.S. thanks instagram for keeping blocked people on the messages part and for allowing me to see those DM’s from 14 w ago

[pampompom]

[pampompom]

Today I remembered this place exists

Weirdest moment in my life, I feel god about my self, confident, comfortable with my job, comfortable with my family, excited about my new home, but still so lonely, still dealing with the fact that u might spend the rest of my life alone with no chance of having the family I want. It’s incredibly bittersweet.

[pampompom]

Why is it so hard to leave?

I want to go, sometimes I just want to give you up, I know you’re not right for me, I know we don’t belong, but in the end you were the one that saw me when I was invisible (how poetic, right?) even when what I had to offer wasn’t what you were looking for you took me between your arms and gave me the “love” I was looking for, it was a lie and you weren’t into it, I was just a girl to fuck and to spend some time with, but for me you were the guy that brought some hope back into my life, the hope that someday I might be the right girl for someone, and when someone helps you build up from the inside you don’t forget it that easily and it’s hard to let go. So thanks for it and I hope someday you find someone that actually makes you feel like you belong somewhere.

[pampompom]

I’m going to start doing commissions like this soon! Let me know if you’d get one? 

Time lapse video of this drawing here

[pampompom]

[pampompom]

[pampompom]

My favs!! Their all so bloody pretty! 💜

[pampompom]

brock turners neighbors are not playing at all

[pampompom]

[pampompom]

[pampompom]

Things only bullied kids will understand

-Beliving that none of your friends actually want to be your friend and they hate being near you -Hating normal things because they were used to mock you -Having to seek constant validation for your existance -Remembering particular insults you’ve been called for years and will probably never forget them -Beliving you’re too ugly for anyone to ever love -Not wanting to go to a new school/further education because you know the same thing will happen there -Having your parents tell you that you’re only being ‘teased’ -Having people wash their hands in disgust if they accidentally touch you.

[pampompom]

I will never stop sabotaging myself, I will probably die by my own hand.

Am i crazy? I feel like shit but I just can’t show it anymore, I’m dead on the outside, I can’t cry no more, I feel the hole in my stomach and the tears burning my eyes, but I can’t get myself to cry, o just can’t show how I feel anymore. This is good I guess, nobody knows I’m dying inside 🤗

[pampompom]

[pampompom]

“Once someone’s hurt you, it’s harder to relax around them, harder to think of them as safe to love. But it doesn’t stop you from wanting them.”

— Holly Black