pancakes-and-adventures - Tumblr blog

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me: hey kids you want a tarot card reading

kids: these are pokemon cards

me: you get a bidoof it means fuck you

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I wore my spiked jacket out to town and a young mum with her 4 year old son complimented me on it. She then turned towards her son and said “that’s how mummy used to dress, before she was opressed by THE MAN” I love that woman

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Comics I’ve made this month for Its Nice That.

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Woman Sets Up Bird Feeder Photo Booth to Capture Close-Ups of Feathered Friends

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I love Gordon Ramsay so much.

He comes from a very poor family. His father was an alcoholic who beat him and his mother (he once poured hot tea over her and put her in hospital several times), his brother is a drug addict, he literally built an empire out of nothing.

He credits his mother as his biggest inspiration and often has her cooking in his shows.

When he left his first restaurant he pulled a successful Jerry Maguire - the entire kitchen staff went with him. That tells you what he’s like to work with.

He was one of the first to give a restaurant to a female chef.

He went to prison (Gordon Behind Bars) and taught inmates to bake and they opened a bakery (Bad Boys Bakery) that is still running. He hired one of them when he got out.

He did documentaries about the cruelty of shark hunting and cocaine. (when he discovered cocaine was used by his staff he didn’t fire anyone but made sure they are offered treatment)

His kids are a treasure.

He is always ALWAYS kind to servers.

When one of his partners (Marcus Wareing) wanted to leave they got into a fight and settled it in court, they no longer speak to each other but this is what Marcus said about him after the fight: 

I feel bad that the first association to him for a lot of people is this shouty TV chef when he’s truly a wonderful person. 

Oh and then there’s this:

this entire episode 

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journalists writing articles: millennials are eating Tide Pods.

me, a millennial:

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Things my dentist has actually said to me:

“Well, either the x-rays lied to me or you are spontaneously creating teeth. I’m going with the second one because it’s way cooler.”

“When was the last time you flossed? Your gums aren’t bleeding which means I’m either not doing this hard enough or you actually floss your teeth regularly”

“You don’t need to do a fluoride treatment I just want to go check my facebook for a second and this is the best excuse I can come up with. Don’t worry your insurance will cover it.”

“Take a whole handful of toothbrushes, I can’t order new ones in less ugly colors until these ones are gone.”

“Remember not to eat or drink anything for a half hour…or actually you know forget that go eat lemons and drink coffee right now. I make money based on peoples bad decisions, you should probably stop brushing your teeth too.”

“I became a dentist because I like making children cry and they don’t let you do that as a regular doctor.”

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Clever Illustrations by Danish illustrator HuskMitNavn 

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Artists Cut Raw Food Into 98 Perfect Cubes To Make Perfectionists Hungry

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unmute for the love of god unmute

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Ready to trick-or-treat

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Okay so Norway is like such an odd country cause like listen to this

Norwegians consume 9% of all Pepsi max produced

Norwegians eat the second most tacos in the world, just after Mexico

Norwegians drink the second most coffee in the world, just after USA

Norwegians read the second most comic books in the world, just after japan

There are only 5 million people in Norway

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florence welch: forest goddess, queen of the fae

hozier: florence's son with a mortal woodcutter, trapped between the mortal realm and the fae realm

lorde: dark entity summoned by victorian occultists

lady gaga: diva possessed by the spirit of a modern art exhibit

beyonce and solange: the sun and the moon

kanye west: protagonist of an epic greek tragedy

lana del rey: met the devil at the crossroads and sucked his dick

carly rae jepsen: a mortal, but we don't deserve her