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please my friends are doing psychedelics and for whatever reason one of them asked me if I have anything to read and I checked my bag and all I have us Dante’s Inferno

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IL is having a contest to replace our not-very-good state flag and there are some amazingly good unserious submissions. I'm gonna show you my three favorites first and then put up a read more because this is a long post but you should click the read more anyways because laser Lincoln is too good to pass up.

If you want to see all of them, the PDF is here- but be warned, it's 1,878 pages long. However, there are some REALLY cute and well-thought-out kid designs towards the end- I think my favorite one from the kid-submitted ones is the one where there's our state mushroom releasing spores. Or maybe the one where the description says "We have the cubs and they suck."

Anyways, flags!

"The green background color represents our State's beautiful prairies. The goblin represents the uplifting spirit of our citizens, always hungry to achieve our dreams and goals. The "State Seal Dish" represents our state's government and the guidance and support it provides. The state of Illinois that is being consumed represents the nourishment that this State provides to its people. The text simply displays what is true."

"My flag represents the great turtles of our state. Illinois is home to seventeen different turtle species! This flag shows what Illinois is all about."

(There's nothing unserious about this, this SHOULD be our flag.)

"the laser beam projects a powerful image of Illinois. I believe my design is so powerful it does not need to be discussed."

"The blue-heeler cartoon dog represents the below-average rate of dogs in Illinois and the need for more. It also represents Australia's looming takeover of young America's minds. The blue background represents Illinois's blue sky. The word "Illinois" written in Hello Headline font represents Illinois and the clouds. The scroll has the words "State Sovereignty, National Bluey" written on it, which serves as a tribute to the old flag."

"The white and blue color is inspired by the Centennial flag, while the brown represents the Dave Matthews Band incident which is fondly remembered to Illinoisians. The bird is a Norhern Cardinal, the Illinois state bird. It destroying Chicago skyline represents how the city is often overrepresented and other cities didn’t get the representation deserved. The CGpog emojis pays tribute to Gavin Atack, which is the most legendary Chicagoan and symbolize how Illinois is a very POG state."

"This flag depicts Abraham Lincoln riding a woolly mammoth. Abe, who is the subject of our state motto "Land of Lincoln", represents honesty and virtue. The mammoth is an example of one of the most impressive creatures that roamed our state in its prehistory. The white background is an homage to the previous state flag, where the white separated it from the typical "seal on blue bed sheet".

This one is just AI slop- but it did make me laugh because I found the pretentious artist description to be hilariously at odds with the fact that this is AI slop: "StreetVanGogh: The Paintbrush that Binds Chicago and Illinois"In the heart of Illinois, where the wind whispers secrets through the prairies and the river runs like ink across a page, lies a city born from fire—Chicago. StreetVanGogh, an artist molded by this urban forge, wields a paintbrush not just as a tool, but as a compass that draws the lines connecting his city to the state he calls home.Chicago is the pulse of Illinois, a metropolis with a skyline that scratches at the stars," Hey, StreetVanGogh? Illinois famously does not have mountains. And Chicago famously does not have two Sears Towers. Try harder next time.

"It's a glistening NUTS though"

"The flag has a rainbow background, celebrating the vibrant LGBTQ culture in Illinois as well as the racial and ethnic diversity that makes this state great. The Chinese text is there to represent our fantastic Chinese community, the largest in the midwest. It reads, "Peace and joy, independent nation" which is what this state should aspire to be. In the center, is an outline of the great state itself with our most famous person, Abraham Lincoln, blushing to honored to be on this flag." I would love to know what those characters actually say.

"16th US President and Illinoisan Abraham Lincoln is a symbol of our great state and his work in quashing The Confederacy in the American Civil War cannot be understated. The background color is meant to evoke that of a Union Army uniform of the period, with the red representing the blood he shed defending our democracy to the bitter end. Lincoln would be proud to fly this beautiful banner commemorating his achievements."

"The colors represent the proud Chicago style hot dog. Beige for the bun and celery salt, carmine for the tomato and vienna beef, chartreuse for pickles and sport peppers, citrine for the mustard, white for the onions, and kelly green for the relish. The 21 black dots represent poppy seeds, as well as Illinois' inclusion as the 21st state. The citrine stripe of the mustard also represents corn and Malört."

There were a couple of hot dog flags, but this one gets a special dishonourable mention for mentioning Malört.

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you know that phenomenon where vaccines are so effective that people forget how scary the original disease was? I think Americans are like this about government

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does anyone have that 4chan post about the guy who got like. deradicalised from being an incel because he started taking care of shrimp?

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just some of the the changes in design for the Penguin Symbol on old Penguin Paperbacks 

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Charlie Day as Charlie Kelly in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005—)

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original thread by @pukicho and several other users

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Spin this wheel and tell me if you got something you need/want.

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I remember meeting a guy at a bar a year or so ago who told me he worked at the international consortium that does the porn parodies of all the top-grossing film releases. He said that the whole Barbenheimer situation presented his combine with some spectacular highs and lows. Because he said that with Barbie, right, the thing about Barbie is that there's already kind of a three-way ideatic, structural parallel between the curated artificiality of Barbie as a children's toy, the curated artificiality of Barbie as a mass market film, and the curated artificiality of pornography as a genre. Add on top of that that Barbie as a film is already feeling this tension, right where it's trying to be about a character graduating from the platonic sexlessness of a children's franchise to the functional-and-frank sexuality of being a living human woman, but it's also being bogged down in the "Everyone-is-beautiful-no-one-is-horny" aesthetic restrictions of any contemporary big-budget mass-market film so the two states end up looking pretty similar, he said. I mean the film itself is very aware of that tension, right, with that joke about how "casting Margot Robbie is the wrong move if you want to make that point," all that jazz. So, all that in mind, Barbie-themed pornography, he said, is in a weird way actually kind of complementary to the extant project, gesturing at unaddressed tensions and ideas, a dark mirror, the shadow self it wants to deny but can't, there's a lot of room to play in the space. He used the adjective "Lynchian" a couple of times, he seemed super stoked, he was talking with his hands. Oppenheimer, on the other hand. Oppenheimer he said presented a problem. Because obviously you can eroticize the detonation of an atomic bomb, we're all probably three mutuals removed from someone on this site who does exactly that, but obviously that's a niche market, and moreover it's a market that has a ton of overlap with high-minded thinkers who treat the historical use of atomic weapons against Japan with the level of gravity that atrocity demands. So they were stuck. They were really stuck. He told me that they'd been pulling their hair out for months trying to square the circle and all they had to show for it was a big whiteboard with the phrase "Grope-nheimer" written on it

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hey man. nice regional dialect. mind if i apply some baseless assumptions about your personhood to it? i was also gonna prescribe morality to it as well. if that’s cool with you

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This wins the internet for 2024!! 😂😂

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Thanks to a pair of a bionic gloves, this 80-year-old classical pianist can finally play the piano again. The maestro, João Carlos Martins, had lost dexterity in his hands due to aging and health complications. His face at being able to play piano again says it all. 🎶

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