parabolical-motion

[parabolical-motion]

↪ Reblog this post if you’re okay with silly/wacky anons

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*they reach the entrance to the bosses office

and now lies a choice

do i enter the elevator or do i actually go through the proper ending

"..."

"Okay. I can't mask this confusion any longer, 'An-on'."

Again, the name "Anon" sounds sour on his metaphorical tongue.

"You act as if you've been here before, which, of course, is impossible. You keep diverting your attention away from my directions while simultaneously following them to the letter! I genuinely don't know what to think of you. Obviously you're not of my kind, I'd be able to sense that, you're not human or animal or shrimp, so what the hell are you doing? How do you know this much about the Parable?"

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*they continued up the stairs calmly singing a four note line

The Narrator, despite his exasperation with this Anon, tries to hum along. He's not the best singer, but he likes banging out the tunes every now and again.

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because it gives me a moment to think

also because its the only area this early on that i can hear the electricity in

*they continue down the hall as they talk stopping at the set of stairs for instructions

"The electricity? Stanley, this isn't a science lesson, this is a grand story about overcoming capitalism and tyrannical power."

He clears his throat.

"But enough spoilers; I digress. Do go up the stairway, if you will."

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it'll only be a minute

the ambient sound's nice

*they enter the broom closet and leave after almost precisely one minute has passed and continue down the hallway

"Everyone needs a brain break every now and again, but-

He does, for lack of a better term, a verbal keysmash.

"-well, really, Stanley? Really now?"

"Dear God, you're incorrigible."

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maybe so maybe not

i just want to get to the broom closet

*they walk out the room and lo and behold its a regular broom closet

"Broom closet?"

The Narrator's voice goes up an octave, surprised at Anon's knowledge of the Parable and their sheer audacity.

"How did you know about the bloody broom closet?!"

He lets out a long, agitated groan.

"I thought we were making progress, Stanley, but I suppose not."

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they enter the meeting room like they've seen it before if not in person

"Welp, that was easy. You seem awfully confident. A bit too confident."

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*they take the door on their left whistleing the tune of the adventure line™ quietly as they walk

"Hmm! Very catchy tune. Sounds familiar."

"Now, you should be reaching a meeting room of sorts soon, just keep going the way you're going and you shouldn't miss it."

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*they appear in the office in the form most comfortable to them in this case a grey humanoid with shades on its head

which way would you like me to go narrator

The Narrator clears his throat, half trying to stifle an amused laugh at their chosen appearance and half out of self-assertation. He can't help but wonder how much power this sunglasses-donning guy wields.

"Ah, yes, well. If you could take the door on your left right there, that would be splendid."

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you probably aren't in the process of making a mob given your reputation here

but people off anon might drop in at some point

so thats something to note

"People 'off anon'?"

The Narrator sounds out the phrase slowly, as if it tastes bad.

"I must admit, this is way out of my field of knowledge, Stanley. I hope nobody else enters the story, but strange things have happened here, so I suppose it's a possibility. Perhaps we should just move on to the office, yes?"

He nudges you with a ghost-like appendage, trying to put some distance between the two of you in the non-corporeal plane.

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we as in a group depending on the occasion a mob under one name

unless they sign things or are granted a name or title then they are still anons just usually more important

"So sort of and no? I see. Kind of. Metaphysically speaking."

"...I don't particuarly like the idea of a mob in my story, though. That would prove quite unorderly."

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it is all too perfectly possible although if needed we can exist in a more solid form

you need only ask politely

"A solid form would be appreciated, thank you very much... wait, did you say 'we'? Are you some sort of plural being?"

The Narrator's irked that his story got so off-track, and so quickly, but his curiosity is piqued.

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this is no longer your story alone

if it ever was

"What do you mean, 'if it ever was'? This is my story, Stanley, it's always been my-"

The Narrator's voice crescendos in frustration then trails off, exasperated. He starts talking a little rapidly, as if thinking out loud.

"Stanley, I've looked everywhere in the Parable and you simply aren't visible. The only thing I can assume is that you're in the non-corporeal plane with me, but that's impossible, isn't it? Spare me my sanity and give me something to work with here."

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excellent the connection is stable

i am an anon i go by no other titles and no scripts

"You're in my story, so you do go by my scripts, actually, as far as I am concerned."

He sighs with slight agitation, and shuffles through his papers again, just to double-check.

"If you're certain you don't have a name, I'll have to call you Stanley. You're hardly a replacement for him, but it'll have to do. Too bad I can't see you, then I could see if the name fits you. I'm searching for you in the office as we speak."

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hello ?

are we connected ?

"Erm, uh, yes? Hello?"

The shuffling of papers can be heard in the background.

"Bloody hell, you aren't in my notes anywhere... what are you doing here? What are you?"

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Okay, so without further ado...

Welcome to the Parable!

(Ask box is open!)

-Mint and Finley

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Ask box will be opening tomorrow! We look forward to writing with y'all!

The "y'all" was Mint's idea, by the way. (-Finley)

-Mint and Finley