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[parafic]

fic ask game!

★ what was the scene you most wanted to write in [fic]? what was the hardest scene to write?

✿ did anything major change when you started writing [fic] to when you finished?

☉ what do you do when you get stuck writing?

✄ what’s your editing process?

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

✎ how do you think readers would guess a fic was yours if you posted anonymously?

ϟ tell me what moment/scene in [fic] made you sicko in the window.jpg to read and i’ll tell you which scene made me feel that way to write

��� send a prediction for a fic i’ll write in the future

♡ pick a fic and I’ll pick a comment that made me really happy

▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line

❖ pick 2 fics and I’ll combine them somehow

↻ pick a fic and a different ship and I’ll tell you how I’d rewrite it

☰ send a fic and an unrelated trope and I’ll remix it

♫ send a fic and i’ll make a 3-5 song playlist for you

✹ wildcard - ask any other question you have!

[parafic]

I’m Bored and Anxious So I Slapped Together a List of Fan Fic Writer Asks

1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title] 2. Do you read/reread your own fics? 3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? 4. How many WIPs do you have right now? 5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write? 6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time? 7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now? 8. What project(s) are you currently working on? 9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written! 10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting? 11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics? 12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it! 13. How much planning do you do before writing? 14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick? 15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters? 16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles? 17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic? 18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic? 19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs. 20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written? 21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why? 22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing? 23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)? 24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s). 25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing? 26. Is there something you’ve written that you would never want your family to see? 27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why? 28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”? 29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.) 30. Ask anything!

[parafic]

fic author Never Have I Ever

Send me an ask about whether I’ve written a thing [ship, trope, dynamic, category of fandom, etc.] and if I’ve written it, I’ll link you. If I haven’t written it, I’ll tell you how I would write it if I did.

[parafic]

Get to know your fic writer!

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Do you like constructive criticism?

Do you have your work beta'd? How important is this to your process?

How do you choose which POV to write from?

Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

Do you comment on stories you read?

Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

Link your three favorite fics right now

how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

Best writing advice for other writers?

Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

What’s your revision or editing process like?

Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

Do you want to be published some day?

Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

How do you write kissing scenes?

How do you choose where to end a chapter?

Would you ever write commissions?

Share a snippet from a WIP

If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

What do you look for in a beta?

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

How long is your longest fic?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished? 

What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc) 

Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

Why do you continue writing fics?

Thoughts on cliffhangers?

Something you hate to see in smut.

Something you love to see in smut.

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

What scene in [Fanfic Name] took the longest to write? What was difficult about it? 

Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]? 

Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? 

[parafic]

Excellent thank you so much @beatriceportinari for enabling me

(This is going to be a long one. I uh, realized I had to cover a different headcanon first for this to make any sense at all)

So first, to be clear, absolutely none of this is canon. This is headcanons upon headcanons upon headcanons, because Naruto canon is never once interested in politics beyond "Protagonist and Antagonist have a fight which is actually an argument but it's cooler because they also both have an army" which is not like. actually politics, at all. But I am so I have overthought these things a lot

Step 1: The Founding Of Konoha Was A Trick

So for obvious reasons, it's fairly common for founders fic to include a subplot in which okay, the Senju and Uchiha have peace, Hashirama and Madara want to build a village, but the daimyo/the nobility/the other shinobi clans/someone opposes Konoha's existence, usually because they don't like how it will change the balance of power, and now we have to figure out how to convince them so Konoha can happen. Which makes a lot of sense!

And my favorite solution is: they didn't convince anyone. Quite possibly not even their own clans. Instead, it went like this:

Problem: The Senju and Uchiha have peace now, but they've tried to have peace before, and it's never lasted. Often because the entire rest of the continent wants to hire them in opposition to each other, and neither clan is willing to back down mid-mission when they realize who's on the other side, so even with the best intentions the fighting restarts.

Solution: build a joint mission office (on the border of Senju and Uchiha lands) so that anyone who wants to hire either clan has to show up at the same place and talk to representatives of both. If all missions are accepted at the same location, recorded in the same files, by the same people, it will be easy to just decline any mission that would hire them to go against a mission they already accepted.

Also, hiring shinobi used to mostly be done by going through connections, or in some cases spotting a shinobi and running over to beg them for help. Shinobi tend not to like the latter (both in itself and because often the "shinobi" someone "identifies" is just some bandit/thug, who's likely to damage the reputation of shinobi while taking advantage of the mistake), and the former becomes less accessible the less rich a person is. So having a known, permanent location that people can just show up at and ask to hire shinobi will greatly increase the number of missions, thus increasing income for both clans. (And, due to more ordinary people being able to hire shinobi, this will also reduce the proportion of assassinations and similarly distasteful missions, which is good for morale.)

Problem: the other shinobi clans do NOT like being excluded from all this new business

Solution: invite them to also send representatives to, and accept missions from, the shared mission office. Nearly every clan in the country is at least tentatively allies with either the Senju or the Uchiha, so that's an easy way to bring people in

Problem: now there are a bunch of shinobi hanging around the mission office, both to accept missions and to be available to be sent on them immediately, and their homes are not close enough for a convenient daily commute on foot

Solution: where there's money to be made, someone is always willing to make it. The Senju and Uchiha both carve out some of their land near the mission office, and rent it to civilians who build and run inns. And restaurants. And shops that sell weapons, armor, mission-ready food. Bars, bookstores, and other entertainment for the shinobi that are mostly waiting around to be given a mission. Further businesses to support the civilians running all of the above.

Problem: This thing just keeps growing. We could use some roads. Less haphazard sewers and plumbing. Maybe an electrical grid. The larger and/or more closely allied clans are interested in having their own space, so their own civilians can support their shinobi, and preferably some private training grounds so their shinobi can keep in shape while waiting for a mission

Solution: Hashirama and Madara swearing to the daimyo that they had NO IDEA this would happen, all they meant to do was keep their own clans from going back to war, and then avoid any new wars with disgruntled other clans, but, well... since a village does seem to have developed anyway, by total accident, and it's getting to be a bit too much to manage as adjacent subsets of Senju and Uchiha land, pretty please won't you recognize it now? (Nobody wants to see what will happen if this is forcibly undone. We've all had enough of war, right?)

And so Konohagakure becomes A Thing

(It's possible that, at least at first, Hashirama and Madara genuinely didn't know how this would go. This sounds like a Mito plan to me, though they (and Tobirama) certainly would have caught on to what was happening sooner than most. But anyway.)

As a result of this origin, Konoha is different from most other shinobi villages in a few key ways. First is that since Konoha is, functionally, an overgrown guild, it has literally no authority over internal clan matters. The agreements that brought every clan other than the Senju and Uchiha into this are limited ONLY to missions and directly relevant issues, like creating a uniform ranking system for missions and shinobi so that missions can be distributed efficiently. Anything else, such as the Caged Bird Seal, is None Of Konoha's Business, in the same way that, say, a union can't interfere with their members' kids being homeschooled. It just has nothing to do with them.

(I have a bunch of other thoughts about like, how the Shinobi Academy works in this context, but I am trying to get to the point so let's just say a thing like this tends to expand its authority over time and also administration of this Mess will be Complicated As Fuck, and leave it at that.)

The other key point is that all the land that makes up Konoha actually belongs to either the Senju or the Uchiha. Everyone else is renting from them. Which means that, should a political disaster occur and war resume (or should Konoha just be invaded and destroyed by outsiders), every other clan can retreat to their old lands, while the Senju and Uchiha are stuck. But in the meantime, the Senju and Uchiha are Profiting, because they can prettymuch charge what they want for rent. 1 single competitor is not much better than a monopoly in that way, especially when those competitors are friends.

But... there's the question of what happens to the land and the village if either clan dies out, which Hashirama and Madara probably didn't consider, but the daimyo's people would have when making the village official. And the agreement they all came to was: if a founding clan dies out, that land then belongs to the village.

Now, by Minato's time the Uchiha are still going strong, but the Senju are down to Tsunade, who wants nothing to tie her to Konoha or ever make her go back to the place again. Since she's the only Senju and her boyfriend died before she had children, the Senju are going to be totally gone as soon as she dies. It wouldn't be hard to talk her into signing something to declare the Senju clan officially dead and gone and their land passes into Konoha's control a bit early. Maybe Konoha pays Tsunade a certain amount each year/month/whatever (and funds her gambling) but mostly she's just free of the place. Maybe this was even Tsunade's idea.

But for Konoha, now half of the village isn't paying rent, they're paying taxes. (I mean, some of them will still be paying rent. But a lot of people aren't, and now there are a bunch of landlords that own one or a few buildings each, instead of two clans owning Everything.) Meanwhile, the other half is still paying rent to the Uchiha.

This is the sort of situation which can be used to manipulate public opinion.

Specifically, Danzo manipulates it by convincing Hiruzen to lower taxes, and pass laws to keep rent (and any similar expenses) low in the half of Konoha that used to be the Senju's. Like, by a lot, so that the difference is pretty noticeable. This encourages people to view the Uchiha as greedy and selfish, and blame them for any financial problems anyone has. Also, anyone who can moves to the (former) Senju half of the village, physically isolating the Uchiha. And, well, that certainly wasn't the main cause of the Uchiha massacre... but it didn't hurt.

(Minato raised taxes while he was Hokage, because wars need funding. But then he died and Hiruzen was back in power and everything was lowered again.)

Of course, post-Uchiha massacre, Sasuke is still alive and absolutely NOT signing any 'my clan is officially dead, you can have all our stuff now' contracts, so Konoha doesn't inherit Uchiha land then. But once Sasuke leaves to join Orochimaru, officially leaving the village is probably enough for Konoha to assume ownership of Uchiha lands as well, at which point the rent on former-Uchiha land might take a sharp short term dive as existing laws kick in, but then it's all going to start creeping up. Wars need funding, and all.

But until then, all those lowered taxes mean Konoha's budget has gotten Tight. So they need to take more missions, send more shinobi, bring in more money. Shinobi are more worn out and overworked, both on missions and on the paperwork side; it's easier to hide convenient accidents, extra missions (Root), and secret experiments (Orochimaru) or organizations (Root again) when no one has time or energy to look because Konoha can only afford to pay half as many filing shinobi as they actually need.

But when Konoha assumed ownership of what had been Senju land, it also assumed all the responsibilities that clans usually handle. Most relevantly, that would include arranging support for orphans, elderly and/or disabled people, etc. The actual shinobi clans on that land handled their own people, but all the civilians and clanless shinobi would have been the Senjus' responsibility, and now they're Konoha's.

Konohagakure is an overgrown business venture, with a side of "plausibly deniable excuse to make everyone live together". It is not equipped, structurally, to provide social security and organize soup kitchens. Retrofitting those functions in is awkward, and also pretty rushed in a the-last-second-was-last-month, 'oh shit that is our job now I guess?' way.

And when Konoha doesn't have the budget for everything, well, it's easy to cut the funding for stuff that isn't really on the mind of anyone at the top. Like orphanages. And when an orphanage doesn't have funding, ultimately that means there is a limit on how many kids can be taken care of. So the rest (maybe the oldest, maybe the least liked, maybe the kids that anyone has shown some interest in because surely that anyone will step in when there's no other choice, right?) have to fend for themselves.

(While the people who can afford to were moving their homes and businesses from Uchiha to formerly-Senju land, a lot of retirees, both shinobi and civilian, moved from formerly-Senju to Uchiha land, because the Uchiha clan has been taking care of their elderly members and injured shinobi for generations, and they have systems in place to make sure that gets done, while people who need help on Senju lands just have to go without. But this means the Uchiha systems are overloaded, so the support they provide is more and more likely to be bare minimum, so there's more resentment, and also the Uchiha need more and more money to support the entire village's elderly and/or disabled population, so they keep having to raise rent instead of lowering it.)

Anyway so that's how the "how do we found Konoha despite anticipated political opposition?" question enabled Danzo to cause both Sasuke's and Naruto's awful childhoods via making taxes too low.

And now it's 4 AM so I'm going to bed.

1: I am finally home, I’ve been gone for… 13? days? way too long anyway. So I will be able to start writing again soon

2: somehow I am now contemplating the political implications of Danzo’s vs Minato’s tax policy, and how that contributed to both the Uchiha massacre and Naruto’s childhood neglect. I’m only interested in founders

[parafic]

1: I am finally home, I’ve been gone for… 13? days? way too long anyway. So I will be able to start writing again soon

2: somehow I am now contemplating the political implications of Danzo’s vs Minato’s tax policy, and how that contributed to both the Uchiha massacre and Naruto’s childhood neglect. I’m only interested in founders

[parafic]

1: Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a few days! Holidays are Bad for my free time and also energy, but I should be able to catch up soon

2: Accidentally thought too hard about genetics and the Uchiha (and any other serious bloodline clans, but especially the Uchiha) should be SO fucked up, culturally

Like I don’t have a fic for this and I probably won’t ever because it gets depressing fast, and I do not expect this sort of realism from Naruto so it’s not like I think this should be in fics or something

But logically they should be SO FUCKED UP

[parafic]

Itakuni 🐄🐣 is the best I can do for elau

🖤🤍🍊🐓

I was going to just do black-white-orange-chicken because that amused me, but the black and white hearts showed up, and yeah Itama in ItaKuni context really needs to just be a pair of hearts.

ELAU:

“Done,” Hashirama says.  “I gave him as little as I could; I didn’t want to overwhelm him.” Itama checks—not a true jutsu so much as a way of focusing his sensing—and it’s more than would be ideal, the Uchiha had so little chakra to begin with, but it won’t kill him.  “Good enough.” That seems to be the best they’ll get with this Uchiha. “Is there any reason not to sedate him now?” Tobirama asks. “No.  That would probably be best.” Tobirama nods, and pulls ink and a brush out of his sleeve. Hashirama stands, and looks at Itama.  “What happened?”

[parafic]

I am trying to think of emoji for elau

Given dt3 (and TobiIzu), the emoji should probably be a warning sign

Warning: still healing the suicide attempt

(but I'm trying to speed through it now so instead of 100 words you get 800ish)

ELAU:

Itama unlocks the chains, one key for each, and drops both keys into a pocket.  Then he picks up the Uchiha, who is now too weak to resist, and carries him to the door.

The sunlight is blinding, as it’s meant to be, but Itama keeps his eyes open.  A few tears well up, but through the tears and the brightness Itama can make out the shape of the mokuton platform in front of him, Hashirama and Kawarama standing slightly back, and Tobirama reaching out to take the Uchiha.

Itama lets him, and follows after, not looking at his feet.  “I already did diagnostics,” he says.  “I’ll do the healing; there’s more than I’d like but it’s too close together to split.  Nii-san, Kawarama, pick a limb and work on replenishing blood.  Anija, make sure he doesn’t wake up and hurt himself more, and when we’re done I want you to give him a chakra transfusion.”

Itama can hear Hashirama’s frown, even as Tobirama sets the Uchiha down and they all arrange themselves around him.  “Does he need it?”

“He was already… stretched thin.”  And he shouldn’t have been, not like that, but that’s a question for later.  “And the healing will make it worse.  I want the mokuton to fill in until we can get him proper food and rest.”

“Hmm.  Noted,” Hashirama murmurs, thoughtful and concerned, and then there’s healing to do.

Itama is good at healing.  From practice, now, but by luck initially: nearly every healing jutsu requires chakra to be stripped of its elements first, leaving only yin and yang, which most shinobi take years to master.  Itama’s chakra is only yin and yang to begin with, which makes all but the most basic elemental jutsu nearly impossible for him, but healing is much easier, as he can put all of his control and focus into the jutsu itself, and not preparing his chakra for it.

He’s familiar with how healing always seems to take too long.  By the time he’s repaired each individual blood vessel, muscle and membranes and finally skin, it feels like hours have passed.  But it can’t have been more than minutes; the Uchiha would have bled out.

There’s a mess of scars, Itama notes as he sits back.  He knew that, couldn’t afford the extra time to heal the Uchiha without them, but they’re… quite awful looking, when he considers that.

He could reopen and reheal them without scars later, but Itama suspects he knows what the Uchiha’s opinion on that will be.  At least they shouldn’t hurt, or hinder him.

Tobirama and Kawarama are still side by side—the Uchiha looks tiny beside them—Tobirama working on the Uchiha’s leg and Kawarama on his arm as they force his body to produce blood at an accelerated rate.  Itama checks with a diagnostic jutsu, but the Uchiha still needs a lot more blood, so he lets them continue.

But they can’t keep going too long.  Injuries aside, the Uchiha’s body is worn down, like he’s been stretched thin without enough rest for months, maybe years.  It’s the sort of thing Itama would expect to see in a clan that’s losing, politically or militarily or both, and has been forced to send their shinobi out on missions back to back for far too long.

Itama has only been able to check Uchiha with diagnostic jutsu twice, in the brief windows before live prisoners were executed.  But other Senju have found similar opportunities, and in over a dozen reports over the years, Itama has never seen signs of Uchiha shinobi being under that sort of long-term stress.  Other kinds, certainly, but not this.

So why is an Uchiha civilian in such a state?

Does his clan really hate him enough to work him, specifically, to death, and no one else?  But if that were the case, Itama would expect more scars, and not regular visits from the Uchiha main family.  Not to mention, all the Uchiha’s anger so far has seemed to be directed squarely at the Senju, and none at his own clan.  Some sort of specific cultural role that only Uchiha have?  Itama will have to go over the reports again later.

For now, he checks the Uchiha’s blood supply again.  It’s still low, but… it shouldn’t kill him now, at least.  “Nii-san, Kawarama, that’s enough.”

They sit back, Kawarama more quickly, and Hashirama takes their place.  Itama never had to learn to strip the elements from his chakra, and Hashirama has never managed it; something about the mokuton is even more deeply intertwined with his chakra than other elements.  In any other case, that would mean he couldn’t do chakra transfusions, or the conflict between his and the patients’ chakra elements would destroy the patients’ chakra system and kill them.  But the mokuton is healing, and while the Uchiha will be very uncomfortable for a few days until his own chakra replaces Hashirama’s, it should help to counter the strain all the healing has put on his body.

[parafic]

I forget if domoz asks for Saturday or Sunday but elau and typhoon island please

I mean I don't think Domoz would refuse either, but currently it's Saturday.

Warning: Still treating the suicide attempt in ELAU

Typhoon Island:

“If there are, their chakra is hidden, which is rare.” “Alright, what are your clans, and which country are they in?” Izuna asks.  “We need to know where we’re taking all of you.” One of the older girls frowns at him.  “Are you going to hold us for ransom?” “Probably not!” Izuna says cheerfully.  “I don’t recognize any of your clans so we’re probably not enemies, so they’d have to really annoy me for that.  Now, clans?  And if any of you are from the same clan, stand together.” The children shuffle reluctantly at first, then more quickly into ones and twos, and begin giving Izuna their names.

ELAU:

He gets it to work, barely, still too weak and too slow, and begins healing the most significant blood vessels. He’s just begun to make progress when there are loud footsteps near the door. “Itama?” Hashirama calls.  “Tobirama wasn’t sure what—oh, no—” Hashirama drops to his knees beside Itama.  “What happened?  How?  Is there anything I can’t see?” Itama lets the healing jutsu go; he can’t maintain it in here and hold a conversation at the same time.  “He broke a bowl and I missed a piece.  There’s no poison or additional injuries, but he’s close to bleeding out.” Hashirama nods, passes a pair of keys to Itama, and stands.  “I’ll make a platform.”

[parafic]

Elau and then throw in a typhoon island since its domoz day

The alliance continues to flourish!

...wait does this make me the mutual enemy?

Warning: ELAU is now focused on treating the suicide attempt

Typhoon Island:

That’s… odd.   “If you want to cut them up first, go ahead,” Izuna says.  “But we don’t have much time.  We need to take a boat back, and they weren’t willing to wait for long.” The boy’s face screws up even further, not at all comforted by Izuna’s words, and he sobs so hard his whole body is wracked by it. Hikaku has a sinking feeling about this. “Tobirama, is that all you were looking for?” Hikaku asks. “Yes,” Tobirama says.  He’s still half-holding and half-buried by the redheaded children. “So then we have….”  Izuna’s gaze sweeps over the cavern.  “Eighteen… Tobirama, are there any other kids on the island?”

ELAU:

It’s not the worst it could be.  Almost all of the damage is to skin and muscle.  But not quite all.  They’ll need at least two people healing him at once. Itama can’t work on the most critical issue first; they’re all the most critical.  Replenishing the Uchiha’s blood will do no good while he’ll just bleed it out again; closing the wound will do no good when he’s already lost too much blood. But doing nothing would be worse, so—Itama releases the diagnostic jutsu, takes a breath, and begins a longer set of handseals.  Still too slow, but the diagnostic jutsu he can partially brute force against the cell’s resistance with extra chakra.  He can’t do that with actual healing jutsu.

[parafic]

I am putting another elau in the bank

A whole series 100 words at a time....

Warning: focus is back on the suicide attempt now

ELAU:

The Uchiha is weak—it’s safe to assume that he already didn’t have enough blood, thanks to his first attempt, and now he’s close to passing out, far too close to death—but he might also be too weak to fight now.

Itama lets go of the Uchiha’s wrists and then, cautiously, his jaw as well.  His hands twitch, but he either can’t or doesn’t move them further.

Diagnosis first.  The cell’s seals don’t make jutsu impossible, but they make it far more difficult, like trying to run while buried in sand.  Itama has to go through the entire set of over a dozen handseals, slowly and carefully, feeling every desperate second.

[parafic]

Thinking about elau

ELAU:

Tobirama will complain about being called to hiraishin himself into midair later, and probably devise a way to train for it after.  But he’ll help first. Which means Itama just needs to keep the Uchiha alive for… he doesn’t know.  Tobirama said he’d notice any of them breaking a wristband no matter how focused he is, but they haven’t tested it, and it would be smart for him to take a moment to grab weapons first, even if he probably won’t delay for armor.  Then it will take a handful of seconds at least for Kawarama to explain, and then Tobirama will have to go to Hashirama and explain the situation to him thirdhand, and that should all be fairly fast but the handfuls of seconds will add up, and if Hashirama doesn’t have the keys on him—and why would he—and he has to go retrieve them…. Itama can’t count on them arriving in time.

[parafic]

Elau doesn't need a title I think its fine we all know what it is

But ELAU is the series! The fic needs a title so it can go on AO3 someday.

Warning: suicide attempt continues to be ongoing but out of focus

ELAU:

“It’s me!” Kawarama gets out between wheezes.  Itama had aimed so his foot landed in Kawarama’s gut; less dangerous, and less painful, but it knocked out all Kawarama’s breath.  “Itama-nii-san!” “He hurt himself, not me,” Itama says.  He grabs for the Uchiha’s hands again, and the Uchiha barely tries to resist.  “I can’t heal him in here, I need the keys, and anija—I need you to go back outside and call nii-san, he’ll be fastest.  Tell him I’m not hurt, the Uchiha is, and I need anija and the keys immediately.” “Right.”  Kawarama scoops his sword off the floor, and hurries back out of the cell.

[parafic]

Angy baby pwease

What about... second angy baby?

Warning: suicide attempt is still ongoing, but out of focus here

ELAU:

“Itama-nii-san!” Kawarama shouts from near the door Kawarama is only an average healer and won’t have the key to get the Uchiha out of here, but he can hold the Uchiha down so Itama’s hands are free.  “Here!” Kawarama snarls and his foot lands heavily as he lunges past the wall.  “Get away from nii-san!” —and Itama should have thought of that—he lets go of the Uchiha’s wrists so he can plant a hand on the floor and throw his legs into the air—the Uchiha makes a small, hurt noise at the extra pressure on his jaw—and Kawarma’s lunge ends with him bouncing off of Itama’s foot as his sword clatters to the floor.

[parafic]

To no one's surprise I am here to request elau

And I am here to write it!

Warning: suicide attempt still continues

ELAU:

Itama pushes the Uchiha back to the floor.  He has to use one hand to hold the Uchiha’s jaw open when he tries to bite his own tongue, and the other to pin the Uchiha’s hands down so he doesn’t claw at his stomach with his bare hands and short nails, and he can sit on the Uchiha’s legs to hold them still so he doesn’t flail around and make the wounds worse that way, but he needs both hands for even simple jutsu in here and he can’t let go of the Uchiha, which means he can’t do any healing, and the Uchiha is already so close to bleeding out, his movements weak and going sluggish—

[parafic]

I wish you a very good elau this fine Saturday

It is definitely not Saturday anymore but in my defense: parents

Warning for more of the suicide attempt

ELAU:

“Let go!” the Uchiha gasps desperately, then yelps as Itama puts pressure on a nerve to force his hand open.

The shard falls, Itama kicks it away, and then he uses his grip on the Uchiha’s arm to haul him upright.

There are several cuts across his stomach, some deeper than others, occasionally crossing each other.  They’re ragged, awful cuts, the sort that are almost impossible to heal without scars.  There are smaller cuts on his hand as well, but they’re much less likely to kill him.

“Go away,” the Uchiha demands, and tries to kick Itama.

Itama lets him, and the blow bounces weakly off of his shin.  Why are you doing this, he wants to demand, but he can’t afford the time.