parisenby - Tumblr blog

[parisenby]

Say it LOUDER!!!!

Trigger Warning: Suicide, Transphobia.

[parisenby]

As a lesbian i will always relate more to trans women than cishet women. Made to feel disgusting and predatory in women's spaces? Check. Berated and mocked for our relation to sexuality and womanhood? Check. Hated for our "deviancy from the norm"? Check. Every single essay about womanhood by a trans woman--and especially, especially by trans wlw--has spoken more to me than anything written by a cis straight woman ever could. T*rfs can take that to the bank.

[parisenby]

the gays will get it

original source: chebbyart on twitter

[parisenby]

"gee why do trans/nonbinary people go apeshit for title nouns like 'captain' and 'doctor'?"

also

but also

[parisenby]

If enby english speakers get tired due to have to explain over and over again that 'they' can be used as a singular pronoun, just imagine the same in spanish where every word has gender. Seriously, every fucking noun is male or female, which means that sociaty has a very binary vision of gender. So, when you try to explain that you identify yourself as someone outside the dicotomy male-female, they just treat you like if you were crazy or just 'disagree' with you and refuse to use any kind of neutral pronouns. In english it may not be that obvious unless they're talking about you directly, but in spanish all the words that can be related to you (like adjetives or articles) in a sentence turns to your gender, so if you're female all those words end with an A, if you're male end with a O and if you're non-binary end with a E. The whole sentence changes and the opresion can be feeled in every single word.

For example, if you want to say 'Alex is pretty, clever and a good worker' in spanish is traslated as 'Alex es lindA, listA y unA buenA trabajadorA', so if you hear this you know the agab of Alex is female, even when she is actually trans, but the person who's talking doesn't care.

Nonbinary people who don’t speak English/have English as a second language deserve SO much more respect than they get.

Not every language even has gender neutral terminology, much less pronouns. So nonbinary people using gendered terms or creating new ones (an example being neopronouns) is a wonderful thing, and so many English only nonbinary people treat it like some terrible thing.

It’s not, it’s wonderful and you deserve better

[parisenby]

hot take: bury your gays isn't just "any time a queer character dies" and acting like it IS is unnecessarily stifling to queer creators who don't want to write happy, fluffy stories where everyone lives

[parisenby]

People on this website are so fucking weird about cis straight GNC people. I reblogged something mildly testy about how we should acknowledge them as a category of people who face mistreatment, and someone got so upset about that they vagueblogged that I was asking them to "be nice to cishet GNC people". You don't have to be a doormat about homophobia or transphobia to acknowledge that cishet GNC people exist and have problems!

It's very uncomfortable! I think it probably has to do with the idea, which underlies a lot of Tumblr discourse, that there are Morally Pure categories of people who Suffer and May Not Be Criticized, and Morally Impure categories of people who Do Not Suffer and Must Be Criticized. Straight cis people are "supposed" to be in the latter category so there's no way they could be experiencing bad things because of their gender presentation. But that's really not how it works? At all?

I do think we should "be nice" to cishet GNC people! As you say, that doesn't mean not telling them if they're being transphobic or homophobic, because including someone in your activism or in a broad community space doesn't mean "you get free reign and never get to be criticized". You don't get that if you're, like, trans, either. If someone's not being respectful you just tell them that and if they don't fix that behavior they don't get to come back.

Man there's just like...I get that emotional energy is a finite resource and some people just don't have enough to be Genuinely Invested in every single issue, and I also know that if you're much besieged then it's very easy to suffer from compassion fatigue and feel a sense of "why should I care" about people whose issues are unfamiliar to you, but like...it seems most ideologically consistent to me to include GNC people, including straight cis ones, in activism about gender freedom. Because I mean, the problem society has with them is the same problem it has with the rest of us, "you're not doing gender right". And since that's what we're trying to dismantle, it's pretty immediately relevant and therefore it's useful to take it into account.

Anyway one time a butch magazine I read included the story + photoshoot of a straight cis GNC woman who talked about her own gender issues and the things she experienced as a result of them and it was pretty cool. She had obviously had experiences that the majority of the butches in the magazine could not relate to (e.g. feeling like she needed to fem it up if she wanted to find a sexual partner) and obviously didn't experience any of the homophobia that the butches in the magazine had dealt with, but there was a spirit of like...respectful exchange. And I think as long as the parties involved are both approaching it in good faith then that's usually going to be useful? Not to say they always will be, but, again, if they're being disrespectful you can to take measures about it.

[parisenby]

[parisenby]

now lets admire one of my favorite quotes about TRANSNESS

[parisenby]

*alleviates your anxiety by replacing it with new, less relevant anxiety”

[parisenby]

I had a guy come in and order two sandwiches today and he told me the second was for his boyfriend because he was surprising him with lunch at work and. My skin? Cleared. My crops? Watered. I love homosexuality

[parisenby]

Fortunately, this generation is the one that least wants to have children. But maybe that's the reason why they give them glue to eat idk

How can you justify keeping your cats inside all the time if you can acknowledge that they do in fact want to go outside and hunt?

How can you justify not letting your child eat glue if you can acknowledge that they do in fact want to eat glue?

[parisenby]

today's gender is stolen from you. that's right. I took your gender.

That’s not what I meant when I said you could have my pronouns!!

[parisenby]

This show was the funniest fucking thing

[parisenby]

whats your stance on mspec gays/lesbians?

I don't think the label really makes sense, and let me explain why. lesbians are fem-only attracted and gays are masc-only attracted (although the history of the word gay allows it to be used as an umbrella queer term, but it's primarily meant for gay men), while bi people are attracted to several genders. it doesn't make sense to say you're a lesbian if you're attracted to men/mascs, even when using the split-attraction model. the SAM is primarily for aces and aros who want to label their alternative attraction, but the lack of attraction is really what warrants that.

it's kinda like the pemdas of sexuality; the presence of "bi" cancels out the "gay". bi people can call themselves gay/lesbian if their same-gender attraction matters more to them or if they don't feel like getting into the specifics of their sexuality, but the presence of both labels simultaneously is an oxymoron.

if you're attracted to men and women (and enbies of course), then it makes sense to call yourself bi. I'm not saying you can't specify the type of attraction you feel or whom it's toward, I'm just saying "bi" and "gay" have oxymoronic meanings, which is why the labels were created. we have shared history of course, but the types of queerphobia we experience is different. for instance, lesbians are shamed for their lack of attraction to men. bi people are called greedy sluts, or are sometimes only sought out to be a third in a straight couple's relationship. there's overlap between our sub-communities, but we are a bit different, and that's okay. being gay or lesbian is good. being bi is good. all of these orientations are good on their own. it doesn't make sense to say you're both though when some of our experiences are mutually exclusive.

additionally, the origin of the term is transphobic. that's not to say that that's how people mean it now, but the label was meant to mean "lesbians who also date trans women," which enforces the idea that lesbians are inherently TERFs (ew), and that trans women aren't actually women. also, the terms lesbian and gay are inherently inclusive of nonbinary identities, but people started saying "bi lesbian" so as not to "misgender" enbies. however, this just alienates nonbinary people, as they were already included in the original term since nonbinary doesn't have a "look." the term also makes it seem like gays and especially lesbians are available to the opposite gender, and we've been fighting that ideology for years. however, msepcs are available (or rather i should say "open") to the opposite gender, thus the mspec modifier doesn't really make sense.

basically, lesbians and gays are not attracted to the opposite gender, so putting an mspec label in front of it doesn't make sense. I'm not gonna condemn people who do ID with mspec and mono orientations, like it's your identity, your label, your decision. but I do implore them to ask why (if they're not aspec) dividing their attraction is important to them, and if they have anything against non-SAM labels that perhaps might have something to do with internalized bi/homophobia. again, I'm not saying inherently they do. but i think it's an idea worth pondering.

[parisenby]

“But what if you get top surgery and regret it later? >:(“ Do you ask that to every cis woman who’s ever gotten breast implants or reductions? Or cis teens who’s parents PAID for them to get the breast implants they want. Or get breast reductions after having children? Or is your issue ONLY with trans people.