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So your saying...

That I can pay $15 to receive my order in 4-7 days

OR

That I can pay $0 to receive my order in 2-4 days.

Oh I don’t know, I think the $15 is the better deal...

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SO TODAY I ENCOUNTERED THE MOST DEPRESSING THING EVER.

So...

Ya know those bags that always feel like they are 80% air and 20% pretzel/chip.

Well... I received this one on a flight today and it felt like there was some pretzel in it.

But when I opened it...

THERE WASN’T A FREAKING SINGLE PRETZEL.

The disappointment :(

On on a side note, now I’m going through slight withdraw and depression because I just wanted some pretzels.

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Whoop whoop

Happy Pride 2019, Tumblr!

There are so many ways to celebrate this beautiful month! Pride parades and festivals and marches will take place all over the U.S. to elevate our LGBTQIA+ selves, friends, and family. Your Tumblr dashboards deserve to feel just as commemorative, so all month long we’re going to be highlighting amazing LGBTQIA+ Tumblrs for you to follow.

As we celebrate, we also want to remember the serious event from which Pride has evolved. This month marks the 50th anniversary of the beginning of the Stonewall Riots, a series of political protests that began at The Stonewall Inn in New York City. Young Black and brown LGBTQIA+ people—particularly trans POC—were the first to stand up and protest against the police brutality and inhumane treatment of people within their community. They deserve to be remembered, respected, and honored.

And so, this year, our theme is “Educate. Advocate. Celebrate.” We’re sharing resources and information about the LGBTQIA+ community to help educate those who are not as knowledgeable about the history of the community. We’re advocating for the community by providing links to helpful resources, small businesses owned by LGBTQIA+ folks, and non-profits to support. And, of course, we want you to celebrate who you are. Through that, we’ll be spotlighting non-profit organizations, LGBTQIA+ artists on Tumblr, and more throughout the month right here on @action. There are so many wonderful LGBTQIA+ Tumblrs out there, and we want to continue to support and uplift them.

There’s also a little bit of fun added across the platform. See the Tumblr “T” up at the top on the left on desktop web? Hover your mouse and see it cycle through different LGBTQIA+ flag colors, including the traditional LGBTQ+ rainbow flag, trans flag, non-binary flag, genderqueer flag, lesbian flag, POC LGBTQ+ flag and more. Using the app? Open up the sticker drawer and find some of those Pride flag in sticker form to use however you see fit.

We want to know how and who you’re educating, advocating, and celebrating this month. Is it you? Your parents? Your best friend? Is there a small business owner we should know about? Make a post about ‘em! Make sure to tag your post with #Tumblr Pride so the whole community can find it.

Stay safe and stay kind, Tumblr. ❤️

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Most of us have heard of Naruto...

Some of us know his son Boruto...

But have you heard of his grandson Dorito?

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What’s the difference between what you would call a “mood” and a “brain cell”?

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What is it called when you sit criss-cross applesauce, but without the “criss-cross applesauce?”

Like is it called criss-cross, cross-legged, what?

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I’m desperately single

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God when creating male and female genitals:

Angel: We have the basic design of each.

God: Good, now what options are left.

Angel: Option 1 is excruciating pain when the genitalia is touches in a harsh manner and Option 2 is constant bleeding and cramps for a week, then a few weeks off.

God: Oh goodness. Well men tend to not show weakness, so Option 1 goes to them. Poor women, at least they wouldn’t have to wear a condom for 7 days, but we need to make them pay for ways to stop the blood.

Angel: Perfect. I will put the orders in.

*Once God Leaves*

*Pulls off mask*

Satan: I can’t wait to see this species suffer.

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Whenever I check my phone battery it’s always:

100%

69%

Or

1%

No inbetween.

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No one:

When someone short sees a basketball player:

Cut off his ankles and give them to me, I’ll gain a few inches.

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Why is duct tape such an asshole? It’s like someone took an asshole and turned it into tape...

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“Other people’s words are so important. And then without warning they stop being important, along with all those words of yours that their words prompted you to write. Much of the excitement of a new novel lies in the repudiation of the one written before. Other people’s words are the bridge you use to cross from where you were to wherever you’re going.” - Zadie Smith, Changing My Mind

via @quotespile