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you should make a buttered pasta poll. cause carnage when the buttered-pasta haters lose

(p.s. butter IS a flavour)

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I am voting specifically against fettuccine in this poll because of the pure hatred that was lobbed onto poor fusili in the last one. That poor pasta shape did nothing to them except be the best and it can't even enjoy the sweet taste of victory without violence coming in from another poll. Justice for fusili! Down with fettuccine!

nothing attracts hatred quite like winning! all fusilli did was succeed

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Are you taking nomonations for "evil" pasta? I think squid ink pasta should be included (if it's not already). Maybe it doesn't count though, since it can come in different shapes.

i AM taking nominations for evil pasta! the final bracket will be determined by Secret Methods, but nominations are encouraged

squid ink pasta can be a contender. the evil pasta bracket is loosely defined

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May I request a Tiny Pasta bracket after the Long Pasta bracket?

Tiny Pasta is planned for after Evil Pasta, which is after Long Pasta!

after that i think is stuffed pasta? maybe gluten free pasta. the future is so far away

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How is my beloved linguine losing to that little asshole fettuccine.

Fettuccine alfredo isn’t even that good to begin with but if we’re gonna be technical about it, does it even really require fettuccine? Make linguine alfredo.

linguine propaganda

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At this point spaghetti should win simply because it garners such strong opinions. Love her or hate her, she’s living rent free in everyone’s heads.

spaghetti really is That Bitch tbh

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if fusili col bucco has 50 fans I'm one. if fusili has 1 fan it's me. if fusili has 0 fans I'm dead.

fusilli col buco dedication

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If we're nerfing fettuccine by making the picture uncooked pasta, should the same be done for all the other pastas? I believe bucatini is guilty of being cooked and prepped (if not sauced) as well in that case

that is fair, and normally, i would agree

however, bucatini is the one my sister is rooting for so i'm just gonna let her have the advantage. i would never impose my own biases onto the sanctity of the polls but my integrity has limits

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Fettuccini, my dearest, hath finally won a poll! I feel my rage and apathy melting away as we speak, for I am turning a new leaf! I almost cannot believe that I thought of the common voter as fools and villains after the landslide that was fettuccini and her win.

But out fight is not over yet! For my love has more battles to win before we declare ourselves victorious. And, as my dearest fettuccini is my world and nothing less, I must rally the troops in her favour! For that is the barest minimum for a pasta like her.

But what more could I possibly say that I haven't already proclaimed endlessly? She is, simply put, a delight. She is easy to cook (if you know how to treat her right, that is), and easily paired with near any sauce you, or I, could possibly imagine. And yet, unlike spaghetti, she isn't basic, nor is she as horrid as that villain f*silli. She is, put plainly, perfect.

And such perfection deserves a win, does it not?

fettuccine propaganda, fettuccine poetry

also fusilli catching strays

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ah, the versatile vermicelli ❤ i love you vermicelli

vermicelli appreciation

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Look you gotta raw dog a noodle of raw pasta right out of the water now and again. It's a spiritual experience. Centering.

so true. it is also how to test if the pasta is perfectly al dente yet

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spaghetti-Os are a crime against pasta specifically and food in general and now that the blame for them has been placed on spaghetti itself by an earlier anon, I have slight regrets about voting for spaghetti

spaghetti regrets

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just caught up w tonight's bracket lore and suddenly I'm craving plain pasta

follow your heart, plain pasta is here for you always