pastelchrysalis

[pastelchrysalis]

Had a rather elaborate dream this morning. It began with me, physically present, spectating  number of very D&D-esque trials/encounters for a group of adventurers, though before too long I left to wander the location I was in, soon taking to the skies to fly about slowly. As I did so, I became abruptly aware that I was dreaming, and eager to use this knowledge to adapt the dream to a more preferable state.

Leaving the bounds of this dream, I found myself in an underground maze, quickly changing my own self using my awareness, and exploring a little bit. I also created what was intended as a doorway out of the maze in the wall, but it simply moved me to another part of the maze. Trying again, I was having trouble repeating the trick, and after closing my eyes briefly, upon opening them I found my alterations to myself had been nullified, requiring me to re-apply them. In the end, I did manage to leave the maze, which led into a large, fancy mall, sunlight visible through large windows. I wandered the mall a little, getting a sense that the dream was pushing back against me attaining full control, and as I moved down several floors, I found a bizarre sort of ritual hellmouth thing at the bottom, which I somehow managed to deal with, then flying for the exit, using my sense of control to save the surrounding people by turning shattering, falling glass into petals.

Finally free to leave the mall, the dream seemed to have it’s own narrative it wanted me to go with, but I declined, instead beginning to fly out over a town, but was sadly woken by my alarm before I could really exploit my awareness of being in a dream to any particularly high degree.

[pastelchrysalis]

So I’m doing well, clearly.

[pastelchrysalis]

Well this was...a dream.

I was part of some small, super gay, super trans group. I think a tabletop group or something? I’d been recently invited in but like, knew ‘of’ three of the other members. A fifth was joining us for the first time that day, in what I think was like...a closed down restaurant shopfront we had access to? I think the dream skipped over some actual play and moved on to us all taking a trip out somewhere.

I remember us all going down a wooded path and there were rabbits everywhere, which I was pretty excitable about. There were also shallow pools of water that seemed to have pale-ish pink/red ‘leeches’ in them. [we said leeches but i’m pretty sure they looked more like hagfish but shorter?] There were other people around but I can’t remember interaction super clearly.

In any case, I found what seemed like a geiger counter/handheld radar sort of device, that could track paranormal activity, just like...lying on the floor I guess, and mentioned this to our GM/leader. She was not thrilled, particularly by the word paranormal, implying that by speaking of it we’d draw it’s attention.

Seemingly this was true, as heading back the way we’d came, we were now in a tunnel/corridor of sorts, and there was a gelatinous spirit mass filling the doorway in front of us. It told us that it was a ghost that had died here, crushed by a portcullis sort of situation, and wanted us to help free him from being stuck in the living plane. Unfortunately the method he said was that like 4 or 5 people had to just stand there and allow themselves to be hit by the train that passes along this tunnel. Ignoring this, however, 3 or so of us lifted up the portcullis and reunited the parts of his body that had been severed by the gate, which seemed to allow him to move on as well.

Now at the end of the tunnel, we ran into more people coming the other way, including a guy who was pretty enthusiastic about seeing the group but kinda got the cold shoulder from them. I made a comment about how he’d recently come out as gay and our leader’s response was an honestly confusing one to the effect of ‘yeah, and his toenails are dry’. I pressed for an answer with regards to what this meant and I think she elaborated for me but I can’t really recall what she’d inferred from that, aside from the vague sense that he was perhaps being a bit performative or something?

In any case, we were now back in the part of town our sessions took place at. And confronted with a cyclone.

Or in any case, a huge column of swirling dust and wind. Especially while asleep, I’m not great at remembering which form of storm is which.

Either way, the thing is super close. Two of the group pick up and carry a car into the building, which is confusing because it was wider than the door and wasn’t inside the place when I follow them in, slinging a backpack I apparently had behind the counter to shield it from whatever wind might whip up inside as I do. I ask if we need any more cars bringing in, he other 3 members inside being worn out and coughing from both the onset of the storm and moving the first one. Our leader went past our place to the next building over for reasons I’m not aware of, and has yet to come back. I start trying to post myself over by the door, which is actually two doors. A mostly glass front door and then a thick, secondary door for just this sort of situation. I get the first closed, but can’t shut the actual protective door against the wind, and would require someone’s help to close it fully. We’re still waiting for our GM. Then, this fucking...old bearded guy, running for shelter from the the swirling, destructive dust funnel, which is now basically moving exactly down the street, between the buildings on either side, and is close enough that it should have just sucked him up, I feel like? Just runs at our door, covering her face, and dives through the glass door, leading to me yelling at him because now the building is more compromised, so it’s not like he’s gotten to safety anyway, and one of the other members of the group yelling at him because the door wasn’t even fucking locked, and we would have let him in anyway.

Dream ends there, with us now stuck with a broken door and still no sign of the GM. .__.

[pastelchrysalis]

Okay so this is a little meta.

But I had a dream where someone wrote a story. It was offered to me that I feature in this story in a small way but I declined, though a couple of my girlfriends were also given the option and one of us did go for it, in the end.

So, this story concerned what was, essentially, a speakeasy for monstrous/occult people, that would throw a party each Halloween where they could indulge in their vices and general behavior that was harmful to regular humans. The club being staffed full of humans who were willing to be put through this. I don’t remember much of what went on there save for a reaper reaping a bunch of people’s souls and some dude with like 50 smoky, ghostly tendril limbs lifting up a whole bunch of people, his hands passing through them all in a big tangle. Things, as far as I can tell, weren’t fatal, even considering the separating of people’s souls from their bodies. I believe everything was being done in a way that could be reversed, without causing lasting harm.

Now the twist ended up being, this whole hedonistic event turned out to be a sting operation, and midway through a bunch of human cops kicked down the door and arrested the monsters who’d broken the terms of their interaction with human society by secretly doing shit like this. There was also like, at the end of the story, a ‘bestiary’ of sorts detailing, with illustrations, who some of the monsters that got arrested were, what they were capable of and the best ways to lure them/disable them if need be.

...Upon actually finding out what the story was about [but possibly before having managed to read it myself] I ended up regretting not taking the offer I’d been initially given.

[pastelchrysalis]

There’s a part of me that rails against the ‘you’ve survived 100% of your worst days’ rhetoric super hard.

Like sure. But that doesn’t mean I want to. Or that I’ll keep doing that.

[pastelchrysalis]

Had two or three distinct dreams this morning.

The first took place in a post-apocalyptic zombie situation. Myself and a small group of about 6 or so other people were exploring an arctic or possibly just mid winter snow covered settlement that’d been abandoned, gathering what we could and putting down the odd zombie here and there. In the basement of one shattered building we found about 15 legless zombies crawling about on the floor and the the expedition leader was like ‘okay I know we usually urge you to absolutely not do this, but I want you all to head into that horde and take them all out as efficiently as you can’.

So apparently we’re zombie hunters in training and he’s our instructor, so off we go, and wail on these not especially mobile zombies. I was using a knife or dual wielding knives I don’t recall which, just that whichever I was, someone else was the other. Seemed a bad idea to use a weapon with such a short reach but uh??

Anyway, we made short work of the zombies and then our instructor is just like, saying such and such people did well with co-ordinating their attacks and teamwork and such and that some of us, on the other hand, did not, and need to train harder. I was in the latter group.

This lesson was apparently the purpose of this trip, so that done, we start to make our way back to our transport, to go back to whatever sanctuary has been constructed. On the way, while outside, one of my team mates is doing whatever when I see another legless style zombie rushing them from out of their field of vision. I manage to intercept it with my knife/ves but in the process, it manages to catch a glancing blow to the back of my hand with it’s mouth.

As this broke the skin, it’s...apparently enough that I’m now infected, with the implication being I’ll zombify while still alive, rather than just being fine up until I die. Just from this unfortunate graze. From the perspective of everyone else, all they know is I just stopped a zombie from blindsiding someone else, but we pull the instructor off to one side, at which he’s frustrated by the delay, until I show him the mark on my hand and he understands. He at least agrees to let me travel back with them and get my affairs in order since I should have time for that at least before I turn, but I’m basically just like, requesting of them a ‘make it quick, please’ situation in which once I’ve got myself sorted out, I want them to kill me before I become a zombie.

- - -

Middle dream took place at some sort of school. A ‘viewing party’ had been set up tho’ for what, I’m not sure, and the class I was in was getting dressed up for it? I ended up in some huge white mascot style costume that didn’t cover my face, but made me considerably taller, which was fun. Seemed like rather than just my class a whole year of the school had gotten together in the hall to watch this thing, whatever it was. Some typically odd dream stuff happened while we were all sat around but unfortunately I’ve lost most of the details for this one.

- - -

Last dream was just full on horror game style. First person perspective, wandering around in a dimly lit place, lots of creepy old ladies around, not really sure what was going on. In the dream, I kinda’ went ‘to the settings’ of this game/dream and changed up the contrast so the shadows were darker/sharper and such and weirdly this seemed to up the threat level considerably, as upon resuming there were a lot more old ladies and other things around and the ladies were armed in a much more dangerous manner [like one of them pulled two stun guns on me] and upon fighting three of these ladies around a flaming barrel, I found myself in a relatively well lit stretch of this place but suddenly found myself amidst a small stampede of various enemies, though they were running past me there were a hell of a lot of them which can’t have been good news either way.

[pastelchrysalis]

I don’t remember this morning’s dream in full, but toward the end of the first ‘segment’ I learnt that the events I’d been experiencing up til that point were because I was shortly going to die.

Kind of took a fairly accepting attitude to it, my mom was around at some point just before I went though and I broke down for a bit then. 

So, as I was told I was going to, I died. And two small creatures explained that my soul would now hurtle away through space. I don’t remember why or where I was headed, but off I went.

The next part of the dream took place in this interstellar afterlife trip. Apparently the dead would fly past various things they could interact with on their way, and I’d gone into a weird sorta videogame styled ‘star’ as I passed it. A younger girl was in the same game, and apparently had a poorer understanding of the afterlife compared to me, so I had to help her get back out again. We ran into some guy who was being troublesome, too, and somehow all three of us wound up transported to my own personal sort of...’world’ that each dead person could generate.

The world I’d made to occupy myself seemed to take the form of an rpg styled village square, with a few shops and various npcs around. I was explaining how a lot of this worked to the little girl since she’d somehow not been informed as I had. The guy turned out to be Kubo Tite, as he mentioned some of the stuff he’d done while alive, while conspicuously avoiding mentioning Bleach.

The next bit is a bit fuzzy, but the dream continuity fucked up a bit and instead of Kubo, it was Donald Trump who’d been brought along. Naturally, I wanted him to leave. Unfortunately, the sheer intensity of his own delusional, arrogant self-confidence seemed to affort him a startling resistance to the rules of the setting, as even though we were in my world, I couldn’t boot him out, and he started meddling, gathering up the NPCs and bringing them round to his fucked up views. At this point I don’t know where the little girl was. She might have left to her own world now that she understood that she could do that, since I know she’d gotten anxious over a conflict between me and Kubo earlier.

I remember trying to revert the changes Trump was making to my world but the stuff he’d done was resilient to my efforts. Particularly, I recall holding something that he’d converted into a horribly tacky looking solid gold version of itself.

It’s not that surprising I guess, my dreams tend to do the whole ‘you cant have things go the way they want’ thing all the time and I’m used to having to fight with them repeatedly to try to get alterations to stick.

I remember trying to tell him he could just make his own world rather than trying to shape mine the way he wanted it but I’m hardly surprised that fell on deaf ears either. =_= Sadly I think I woke up before managing to get rid of him.

[pastelchrysalis]

Dream this morning started with me looking after a goldfish. They grew quite quickly but luckily in the dream I had 3 different tanks. I think the dream either reset or they didn’t make it though because I recall caring for a second goldfish, too. Dreams being as they are, the second fish quite liked being petted, and had some odd little toys in their tank to interact with. [One was just a bundle of tiny foam tubes, as far as I recall]

Somehow the dream moved on to a city under attack. Myself and I assume Nic went to a bookstore that was currently a safe spot. There were injured being tended to there and I recall we were waiting for someone or something. Eventually getting tired of waiting, I went off into the store and poked around the manga/graphic novel section for a while before heading back. I ran into an ice cream stand inside the shop on the way back, but declined to buy anything as just the most basic cone was over £6 ad I didn’t have that much money on me at the time. [I also stated the ice cream was so sweet i could taste it without even having eaten it, which turned out to be true as I had a rather strong sweet taste in my mouth as I walked back to where I’d started. And it’s here that I woke up.

The finer details like the actual prices of the ice cream being concrete, and a strong sense of taste in a dream, are both sort of rare for me.

[pastelchrysalis]

Had two distinct dreams this morning, which was rare.

The first took place in the house I lived in as a kid, with the added twist that there was a panel of wall in either my parent’s or siblings’ room that if pushed, opened up into a ‘secret’ passageway, but all of us knew this.

One day, though, I saw my mom go into my room, but when I went in, she wasn’t there. I found out my room also had a panel, and it led up to an entirely secret room in the ceiling, from which the regular atticspace was viewable.

The room was plain, wooden and sorta dusty, and the walls were lined with lots of books, magazines and...other stuff? I remember big sacks of dog food, at least. Mom was in there and seeing that I’d found the place, explained none of this stuff was ours, it belonged to the house’s previous owner and we were still waiting on him to come and get it or at least say it was okay to dispose of the stuff.

Also some of the magazines were pornographic, which I noticed while looking around, so I wanted to try to get up there at a time when I wouldn’t be disturbed, to check them out, but the dream conspired against me on that matter and presented obstacles.

- - -

Next dream also features the family, but having just moved to a new house. [which fused with a store on one end, weirdly]

I got to explore a decent amount of the surrounding town, which featured a mall with a lot of really nice stuff [and may be an echo of a mall/malls from previous dreams because I was just reminded of a high street music store that had a cinema on it’s second floor, which I’m quite sure is from an older dream.]

I wasn’t quite familiar with the layout of the town, however, so what started as an intended trip to the mall to get some really nice donuts led me into a fancier looking segment of town, lots of offices and such. Someone asked if I was lost but I sorta brushed it off. Around this point, I got picked up by a minibus of people I’d sorta started to get to know.

This trip took up a large segment of the dream, just travelling roads. To the right of the road, consistantly, was what looked like a huge drop, like the whole dream took place on a floating island that ended super abruptly. The sharpnesss of some of the turns made me quite anxious for a while as I tried to determine if it WAS just a drop, or some texture that was screwing with my perception. After a while I saw another vehicle cutting across the ‘gap’ so I assume it was just weird looking solid ground.

The minibus had a tv and game system in it, on which someone was playing some super sadistic dark souls style game. But I do mean turned up to 11, like just at the very start you were placed in a room with an altar, and another character who had great significance to the player character, and if you didn’t do things exactly right, they were absolutely guaranteed to die, fucking up a massive swathe of the game in the process.

We got into a conversation with the player about how I’d played dark souls 2 and bloodborne. For the former, he asked if i’d concentrated on poise with my character, with his wording and tone implying dismissiveness of this approach to playing. I answered that I’d gone mostly dex and gone for a dual wielding style. He still seemed sort of judgemental about this, which was kind of irritating, since I’m not fond of people trying to decide how other people should enjoy a leisure activity :x

Either way, as with the previous dream, the main thrust of this one, all details aside, was that the long bus trip was preventing me from getting what I wanted. In this case, the donuts, because though i was trying to ask them to run me over to the mall, which should have been a short trip, we just never got there.

[pastelchrysalis]

Had a rather long and elaborate dream this morning.

The start has become a little fuzzy, which is terribly unfortunate, but I still recall that I was in a hospital, and stumbled upon something that I shouldn’t have, ending up having to shake off some pursuers to rejoin my family.

As it happened, I was able to work backwards from some meager information I’d picked up along the way, and determine the identity of the person who’d sent them to capture me. She turned out to be living in a trailer behind the hospital, and I went there to obtain enough evidence to have the law deal with her.

At her trailer, I did wind up running into her, and somehow or other she pulled some mind trick that was intended to make me mentally regress to a point where I wouldn’t be able to communicate what I knew to anybody, or indeed pose any sort of threat to her anymore. I recall being sat in front of a laptop and trying my hardest to hold my mind together as the information on the screen was critical to defeating her, but I was losing the mental capacity to read it, and try as I might I couldn’t fight what she was doing.

I believe the rest of my family were around at this stage. Either way, the effect got lifted somehow, possibly by the ‘scene’ of the dream changing since....consistency and all.

Either way, this woman ended up not being the head of the organisation I’d stumbled onto at all, though she was one of the higher members. She ended up calling the actual boss via a large monitor, instantly earning his ire and basically being discarded as this meant she had foolishly revealed both the mere fact that he existed, and more critically, his appearance, to anyone close enough to see the screen. Including myself, even though at this point I was still not 100% with it, mentally.

The dream at this point cuts to the leader’s perspective. Apparently this woman wasn’t the only subordinate of his to have fucked up, and the dream briefly treats us to little bits of backstory about how he enlisted these two, both small time con-artists, essentially, and trained them up to be more than that. I forget the woman’s origins, but can at least the recall the second subordinate was a short greasy looking man who often pulled cons where he’d fake getting injured to guilt people into giving him things. Unfortunately for him he tried this on the boss when the two had ended up on a flight together, and it absolutely hadn’t worked.

At this stage, the dream starts to lose cohesion, post-backstory interlude, we’re on a space station the boss owns, the two subordinates apparently will be put to death for their failings, by the needlessly elaborate method of hurtling them through a zero gravity chamber contained in the station, which is filled with some sort of super-fine wire that will cut them to pieces.

This is demonstrated by two sentient robotic drones, one of whom loses a limb while flying through the chamber as they discuss the boss’, seemingly not exactly loyal, but frightened enough to obey.

My family and I have also been taken to this space station, and I have formed a truce with the woman from before, on the basis that her boss is a much more dangerous individual [though her motives are more of a ‘i’m not too big on him killing me’ deal.]

My siblings, it seems, have also been taken up here, and escaped from their cells, as we have. When we meet up, it is revealed that my siblings and I are both werewolves. At this point I woke up.

I’m sort of disappointed that the earlier, more stable parts of the dream were beyond my recollection, because as far as I can tell, the method I used to work backwards and identify the subordinate was pretty damn great.

[pastelchrysalis]

I want to scream from every part of my being at once.

[pastelchrysalis]

Dream this morning was an interesting one. Started off with some sort of alien being from whom we’d stolen something important. They were able to shapeshift to pass as human and I think they were here to prep for a takeover or something. In any case, they chased us down. A molotov cocktail was involved in some capacity, they or the object ended up exploding.

This, however, seemed to have the effect of converting/infecting the three or so people present, granting them the alien’s powers. [Signified by rather bright green eyes.]

Fast forward a bit, and my family and I are out at some place, and in the dream, we have a new sibling. Who somehow, has been converted. And thus is already talking at an absurdly young age. As an aside to a fellow converted, I state that we need to find a way to convert one of my other siblings, because she was always the smartest of us prior to this and I feel kinda bad about her now being surrounded by people with alien boosted intellects.

At this point, I head off by myself, and spy a car going past with two cute girls in it. I somehow get into this car as it’s moving, and boot out the two guys who’re also in there, asking the girls if they’d like to fool around, basically. For whatever reason, they end up agreeing, and we all head off for a secluded spot. Once we do find a place, one of them seems kinda anxious. Turns out they’re trans. Well, all things considered, not exactly an issue to my mind, so things continue. In the course of things happening, they both get converted too. This gives them some pretty impressive new powers [particularly the more nervous of the two seems to gain a stand] They take some objection to the fact I basically manipulated them into things/had set out to convert them from the start though, and kinda kick me about a bit before leaving.

I return back to where my family was, lamenting that things went awry because I actually had genuine feelings for them. Turns out one of them was hiding like right next to us at the time and heard everything I said along these lines, and forgives me. Dream pretty much ends there.

[pastelchrysalis]

Dream this morning started with myself and a couple of other [dream generated] people traveling about some town in a car. The section we were in all seemed to be contained within a large structure.

Upon leaving the interior part of the town, we observed a large swirling ball of shadowy black/purple stuff in the sky. Apparently this is a normal occurrence in this town, where this orb will appear at regular intervals and descend upon parts of the town. Being caught in the orb? Basically a death sentence, but relatively easily avoided. Does mean areas are periodically blocked as the orbs remain for a while.

Now, though, the orb descends much faster than it normally should, and rather than staying, dissipates almost immediately after touching down.

Then it appears again in another spot. Then another. Then it becomes apparent that there are multiple orbs dropping all over the place.

The implication [via inherent narrative knowledge rather than anything explicitly stated] is that someone, somehow, has done something they shouldn’t have and the phenomenon has reacted and intensified [or is no longer being suppressed anymore, potentially]

Anyway, a lot of people are rushing for a nearby subway entrance, since the orbs can only like, submerge 50% of their mass into the ground at most [they phase through inanimate matter], so you’re fine if you’re far enough down. 

Unfortunately one drops directly onto the entrance, blocking the way and killing several people in the process. It also seems to damage the structure, which the orbs cant do normally.

Likewise, further orbs start to damage the streets, implying that if the same spot is struck a few times, the orbs will break through, meaning the underground wont be safe indefinitely.

For some reason having left the car, I am stuck amongst general panic, and myself and several others are helped out by a subway staff member, who opens up a service hatch that we all crowd down to get off the streets.

- - - 

Safe for the moment, myself and this group of survivors quiuckly hash out a plan to do...something[???] This involves our group having to spread out to various sections of the station we’re now in to operate various things. However, after waiting for a while, things that should be happening aren’t. Eventually deciding to leave my post, I discover that everyone at the other locations has died.

What happens after that gets kinda’ hazy.

[pastelchrysalis]

When I actually have a dream where I’m myself, rather than some entirely fictional narrative, things seem to often take place at my parent’s old house even when the events that unfold relate to the present day...

This morning I had a dream where I, by chance, ran into a friend I knew at college, who had not too long ago been inquiring after me via a friend from dA [since I’m not on there anymore.] I did ask him in the dream, what that had been about, but I don’t recall his answer. I do recall that he was apparently living in Hawaii now, and was just visiting the UK.

We arranged to hang out, and it’s at this point that events took place at the aforementioned house. I don’t know why but I ended up having to change clothes and so I’m like, pretty sure he ended up seeing me in just a [clearly feminine] top and panties [when he would have known me prior to me starting to pursue transition] ...Seems to happen to me a lot in dreams.

He did seem to want to ask me something, but when he did finally decide to bring it up, it turned out not to be that, though I cant recall what it was. Maybe he just hadn’t worked up the nerve to actually ask about that yet and came up with something else, idk.

One of those dreams that I briefly confused with a memory of something that actually happened when I woke up.

[pastelchrysalis]

Had a dream this morning wherein a voice tried to persuade me to drown myself.

Did eventually comply in putting my face under the water, but even when I couldn’t hold my breath anymore and swallowed a lot of water, I was still okay.

Then the voice gave me some sort of powerful item that a lot of people wanted and I got chased by them. I’m not sure what it did, but managed to use it to slow down my many pursuers. Then it broke, but apparently I had a second one?

[pastelchrysalis]

Still kinda’ wanna rip my own skin off.

[pastelchrysalis]

Well I guess I know what one of my top anxieties is at the moment...

Just had a dream that took place in the house my parents and I used to live in for most of my childhood. Was talking to one of them from across the hallway, sat on a bed, when I suddenly realised, oh shit, I’m wearing a skirt. Why am I doing that, I’m not out to them yet. Maybe they’ve failed to notice somehow.

Hardly the first time this topic has come up. =w= Ah well...