patchpyre

[patchpyre]

( A DANCE WITH YOUR SON, HERE IN HELL !! )

independent dabi / touya todoroki. unaffiliated with bnha.

[patchpyre]

I SUPPORT PRE-EST SO MUCH. YOU WANNA SEND UR MUSE JUST KISSING HIM JUST DO IT. WILDCARD.

[patchpyre]

EVEN MORE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to lighten up the situation at hand.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   It’s sea shanty time once again my fellow bastards of the ocean! ”

“   Partner, I reckon that I ain’t been feeling very yeehaw lately. ”

“   I don’t study; I consult the lore. ”

“   Yeah, I understand women — they all want daggers and swords. It’s all quite simple, really. ”

“   Lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase. ”

“   Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range. ”

“   Yes I’m a gatekeeper and a hater. I’m also God’s most favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. ”

“   My primary motivations are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ”

“   Man — if I had a sword, I wouldn’t be worried about shit. ”

“   It’s not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink. ”

“   If I was in a Jane Austen novel, I would be the one sent to the seaside for my health. ”

“   Half of me is a hopeless romantic, and the other half of me is … well … an asshole. ”

“   I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know. ”

“   I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and their friend. ”

“   I see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. Why is that? ”

“   Normalize letting me talk without making any sense. ”

“   Don’t care, didn’t ask, plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter. ”

“   I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. ”

“   Sorry for acting so strange and irregular; It will happen again. ”

“   i love sitting in my room.....alone....a girl in her cave....scheming and plotting and drinking tea. ”

“   These man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get it though. ”

“   I’m a goth girl on the inside. On the outside? A father figure. ”

“   I don’t need to face reality; I’m not just that type of girl. ”

“   DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A frickle-frackle? ”

“   I’m about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff. ”

“   Sorry I told you about my trauma. Do you still think I’m hot? ”

“   My priorities aren’t straight and neither am I. ”

“   I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was like eight years old. ”

“   Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, you fool! I’ve been the same height since I was twelve years old! ”

“   I was born for shock value. ”

“   Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem. ”

“   Oh, I slept miserably because I was tormented by terrible visions all night. I hope none of them were prophetic! ”

“   Be the surreal nonsense that you want to see in the world. ”

“   Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ”

“   My hobbies include knowing things and being right. ”

“   This is good advice, but don’t tell me what to do. ”

“   I hate the idea of authority. What the fuck is someone being superior to me? Bitch I’m gonna take your kneecaps. ”

“   Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those! ”

“   My hobbies? Uhhhh, symbolism mostly. Metaphors and implications and the like. ”

“   I may not have any braincells, but I make up for it by having many heart cells. ”

“   I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one guys! ”

“   Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value. ”

“   Sometimes I wish I looked more fragile and feminine like a dainty flower, but I do enjoy looking like I hate everyone. ”

“   Any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ”

“   girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure. ”

“   BRO, you NEED to stop SUMMONING DEMONS in the FRAT HOUSE. ”

“   I just gave your address to some spiders! ”

“   I disappoint my father as a hobby now. ”

“   I think that the dark circles under my eyes add to my aesthetic actually. ”

“   Good news! I’ve successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes! ”

“   I have half a braincell left and I’m very scared to use it! ”

“   Listen, son — in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted. ”

“   I appreciate the advice, but I think that I’m old enough to make my own bad decisions. ”

“   I’m disappointed in me too. Y’all aren’t special. ”

“   Running from your demons is the best exercise! ”

“   Sorry; I can’t commit any crimes with you. My mom says that I have to study. ”

“   Time flies when you don’t know what the fuck is going on. ”

“   If I run out of tacos, I can no longer maintain my human form. ”

“   Bestie, I don’t think that I can girlboss under these conditions. ”

“   Yeah I’ve had combat training; I can do anxiety attacks! ”

“   Swag is earned, not learned. ”

“   Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot. ”

“   I CANNOT STAND YOU ALL so I will SIT DOWN. ”

“   Please God no … I don’t need any more character development right now! ”

“   If you can’t beat ‘em, yeet ‘em. ”

“   Do not put me in a situation. I’m at my limit and I am very tired. ”

“   I may be depressed, but at least I’m not basic. ”

“   It’s MY LIFE and I’ll sabotage it myself, thank you. ”

“   Think twice? Bold of you to assume that I think once. ”

“   At the next inconvenience, I will start biting people. ”

“   Oops I think that I just experienced an emotion. ”

“   Did you know that rats spelled backwards is star? ”

“   One day, I’ll be reincarnated as a pigeon, and I’ll shit on your head. ”

“   On the outside, I’m a baddie — but on the inside, I’m a saddie. ”

“   My grandma bullies me through the Ouija board. ”

“   I’m a cool person if you can just look past my personality. ”

“   Beetles don’t have to do taxes, and I think that is a beautiful way to live. ”

“   I hope that you get your character development arc soon. ”

“   Those are some nice kneecaps … It’d be a shame if someone stole them … ”

“   I’ve wanted to be a trophy wife ever since I was a little boy. ”

“   I’m done being baby; I want POWER ”

“   Wait, “Just Standing There Ominously” doesn’t count as socializing? ”

“   Yes I am smart, and yes, I am stupid. It’s called being flexible. ”

“   I am NOT delusional!!!!! I am OPTIMISTIC! ”

“   I deserve compensation for not being the menace to society that i could be, like i'm skipping out on a lot of fun here. ”

“   Do not ask me if you should or shouldn't do something !!! Before I am a friend I am an enabler !!! ”

“   i am the WORLDS PRETTYIST PINK PRINCESS and im gonna KILL YOU WITH MY HUGE FUCKING HAMMER ”

[patchpyre]

[patchpyre]

should i make a tier-list of how much dabi would like the kids of 1a if he actually met them under normal circumstances

[patchpyre]

au where touya is class 1-a's cool older brother

[patchpyre]

Bites him 100 times

"Yknow, if ya keep chowin' down like that... can't guarantee what you'll catch." He thwacks her with a finger to the forehead. Blood splats onto her cheeks from the movement. Did she really have to go and make him bleed?? Well. Supposed she did have to. Vampiric little shit. "I'd wash my mouth out with soap if I were you."

[patchpyre]

oh my god, they were roommates  … sentence starters

also included some aimed at cohabitating couples

“Did we leave the stove on?”

“Did you remember to unplug that?”

“Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

“Do you wanna just order pizza tonight?”

“You’re slowing down the internet, again.”

“I washed dishes last night. It’s your turn.”

“Seriously? You ate them all? Without me?”

“Do you have to have your music that loud?”

“Oh, don’t give me that! It had my name on it!”

“Scootch over, you’re hogging the whole couch.”

“You made dinner? Thanks, it smells really good.“

“Touch my chips and you’re gonna meet the lord.”

“My Netflix password, I get to decide what we watch.”

“If you touch that thermostat one more time, I swear…”

“Oh, yeah, light’s been burnt out for, like, a week, now.”

“Put down the broom and go to bed, you’re exhausted.”

“I just pulled all these out of the couch. Care to explain?”

“I swear, this place is haunted. The lights keep flickering.”

“No. You can’t solve every household issue with duct-tape.”

“Was that the sound of a pipe bursting? Please, tell me no.”

“You can’t just hoard (trash item). You’re like a dragon of garbage.”

“Well, I would’ve liked to sleep, but SOMEONE hogged the bed last night.”

“Our neighbors keep eyeing our little garden. I think they’re jealous. Good.”

“So, don’t panic, but you know how they say you shouldn’t microwave metal…?”

“Excuse you, you don’t need a pillow. I’m right here, and perfectly pillow-shaped!”

“Did you really write ‘REDRUM’ on the mirror? You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Hey, I know you’ve had a rough day, so I made a quick stop and picked up your favorite snack.”

“Sorry I didn’t warn you that I sleepwalk. Didn’t mean to become your sleep paralysis demon.”

“Yeah, I’d love to do the yardwork… if it could stop snowing/raining/storming for more than ten seconds.”

“I was going to throw out the milk, but it’s been in there so long, it gained sentience and I’m scared to get near it.”

“Since things keep breaking, I think we have a household ghost. And I’m gonna name him Steve. Steve, you’re a dick.”

“Apparently, you can duct tape a person to a wall. We have duct tape. We have a wall. Are you seeing where I’m going with this?”

“Somewhere in this house, there’s a smoke alarm low on batteries. And it’s taunting me with its beeps, because it knows I can’t figure out which one it is.”

[patchpyre]

rare threats, bc i’m feeling feral … sentence starters

tw: violence and death mentions throughout 

“I’ll eat your fingers.”

“I will boil your teeth.”

“I will pee your pants.”

“I will liquefy your soul.”

“I will alleviate your skin.”

“I will invert your ribcage.”

“I’m gonna harvest your toes.”

“I will acquaint you with a brick.”

“I will dropkick your funny bone.”

“I will delete you like a spam email.”

“I will beat you to death with a spoon.“

“I will steal the calcium from your bones.”

“Your descendants will know who I was…”

“I will gently rearrange your bone structure.”

“I’m going to eat your socks while you sleep.”

“I will turn your kneecaps into moist frisbees.”

“I’m going to make all your systems nervous.”

“I will suck out your bone marrow with a curly straw.”

“I will fill all the holes in your body with baked beans.”

“I’ll have NASA give you a one-way ticket into the sun.”

“Shut up before I open a Nature Valley bar on your bed.”

“Say something like that again and I’ll give you an irrational fear of eggs.”

[patchpyre]

baby gorl u are so crispy

[patchpyre]

watching the boys and iconing dabi is such an experience lemme tell you

[patchpyre]

heres ur nipples back king

im deleting my blog

[patchpyre]

hi

[patchpyre]

( A DANCE WITH YOUR SON, HERE IN HELL !! )

independent dabi / touya todoroki. unaffiliated with bnha.

[patchpyre]

..... He doesn't wanna know what's going on in the hero side of things. Don't wanna know.

[patchpyre]

love dabi's girlfriend, annie thx @actstogether

[patchpyre]