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idk if I really have fans on this app, but if you remember when I posted the “what stuck” thing, I mentioned the things that my aunt has said that have caused me a great deal of pain and were one of the defining moments to my ed. anyways she called my mom and dad up a couple months ago and told them that she never said any of those things and that I made them up, keep in mind what she said was years ago. anyways I was starting to get better but this whole situation made me relapse lolz so im back and I actually haven't gained as much weight as I thought I would've 

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me: is at my lowest weight i’ve ever been

my brain: FaT

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this is the pic and also body check ig??? idk i’ve never done this but anyway pls be nice ik i’m still a fucking fat pig but just don’t say it ❤️

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i posted a pic on insta and i was in a bikini so it made me ✨uncomfy✨ but everyone commented super nice things and someone said that i looked snatched which made me feel really good. it also looked like i had abs in the pic??? which i don’t???

i’m also w my bf for the weekend and he eats 24/7 but is literaly a stick which i hate him for but whatever hopefully i haven’t gained any weight bc i’ll off myself ❤️

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when someone’s talking bad about themselves i’m all “stop it you’re BEAUTIFUL!!!🤬😡👊👊”

but i speak to myself like “naughty piggy no food for you😌😅👊🐽❌”

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facts

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yesterday my family and i went to my grandmas house to “celebrate” the 4th and i had my bikini top on and jeans and my mom says “you’re so skinny omg” and i just got like so fuckin happy

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It’s that time again - my dash has fully slowed down !!!

Drop me a follow or a message or something if ur an active Ed blog in July 2020 bc I swear I need some new mutuals

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what stuck

the summer between 6th and 7th grade, I was getting a snack from the pantry and mind you I was a pretty chubby kid. My mom comes in the kitchen and says “you need to stop eating just because you're bored, you're gaining weight.” that sentence is what started it all.

I had a crush on this guy in the 7th grade, and his ex was one of the more ~developed~ ones in our grade. my friend told him that I liked him which was a normal thing in middle school ya know, but he approached me at lunchtime and said that he would never go for me because “how could you be that fat and still not have any boobs.”

my family and I went on a camping trip, and it was time for dinner. I put on my jeans and they ripped right under my buttcheek. they were my favorite jeans so I was very upset. I went to the dinner table and said “ugh my jeans just ripped and they were my fave im so mad.” then my aunt responded with “looks like you've gained a little weight since we've been here.”

and im sorry for everyone that relates, you're all beautiful and you are all loved 

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im sorry i didnt reply to your text i forgot you were a person who existed

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my fucking piece of shit little brother always has something to say about what I'm eating or how fast I'm eating or if I eat too much like holy fuck dude he weighs more than I do, is like 5 inches shorter, and is 5 years younger than I am. he really needs to get his own goddamn weight under control and stop commenting on what I'm eating.

stuff like that really pisses me off like the doctor literally said you're overweight and you have the AUDACITY to say ANYTHING about my body or the food that I chose or chose not to put in it. 

and then my mom asks why I'm so mean to him like she doesn't hear all of the things he says to me.

literally

fuck

off

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I would literally sell my soul to look like lily collins in the movie to the bone she's the definition of perfection and if I looked like her I would never let a man speak to me ever again 

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can ppl stop asking me how i lost weight like i starve myself karen idk what you want me to say

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i went on a camping trip over the weekend which made it really hard to restrict bc all of my friends were eating together so i was forced to eat sooo i was really scared to gain weight bc i wasn’t restricting as much as i regularly would but i got home and weighed myself and i didn’t gain anything but i also didn’t loose anything but at least i didn’t gain!! super excited

i’m also moving out in august and going to college which is gonna be fuckinf amazing to not have my mom up my ass 24/7 about how i don’t eat enough

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This is the no binging ghost👻

Reblog and like this and it will bless you with self control to achieve your ultimate goal weight.

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why the FUCK does alcohol have so many calories???? who allowed this

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good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿