peculiareyezer

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Windows 11's latest update is resulting in SSD failures if it reaches 60% capacity. The update wipes the drive and unmounts it.

If you are on Windows 11, please don't update. If you have already updated, please look up how to roll back your update

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"A Bug's Life" is furry media send tweet

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in the wake of several more prominent transfem blogs getting terminated within the past week, most of them after concentrated harassment campaigns, i would like to say that i have zero fucking tolerance for callout posts. full stop. no exceptions. i will block you on sight if you spread that shit. furthermore, you, the reader should adopt this position as well. do not tolerate callout culture, especially against transfems, in any way, shape, or form.

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Isuggestforcefem was like the least problematic person of all time and still got banned, then the minute pendulouspuppytummy even spoke up about this she also got instantly nuked :) hi staff Matt mullenweg personally targetting Trans women again?

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(loooong post warning) idk how to structure this but coming at this from the perspective of the fictionkin/fictive host of a traumagenic system with mild psychosis:

delusions are not always harmful, sometimes it is actually more harmful to a person to deny and distance themself from the delusion than it is to (carefully and responsibly) accept/embrace it. ultimately, i don't care if being fictionkin is a "delusion" or not, but what i do know is that when i tried to reject being alt!cesar kin it put me in so much distress and made my delusions/psychosis much, much worse. i've told both my therapist and psychiatrist about my belief of being a reincarnated fictional character, and they both said that as long as i'm not hurting myself or anyone else, or behaving recklessly because i suddenly start believing i have supernatural powers or whatever, then it's harmless and i shouldn't try to repress or get rid of it. it's impossible for psychotic people to force themselves to be "normal" or stop believing in their delusions, you have to recognize which delusions benefit/help you and which ones you need to keep in check, it's a crucial part of double-bookkeeping. believing i'm alt!cesar enriches my life and makes me more comfortable with myself because it's just who i am, if i tried to stop believing it, i would feel like i was pretending to be someone else and living a lie.

people say that sort of thing because they are ableist/saneist and want people who are psychotic (or even just "too weird") to be "normal"/neurotypical (impossible) or die trying. they literally do not care if they drive us to death, even if they won't say that part out loud, because they just want us gone. they don't want to think of us, deal with us, etc. they hate that we inherently challenge the social norm and they would rather be bigoted than try to understand us, because bigotry is the low-effort option that allows them to stay comfortable. preferably, they would like us all locked up in asylums because they think we're subhuman or "dangerous" or whatever.

like other people have already said, being fictionkin is often either a psychological or spiritual belief, so it's very similar to religion in the spiritual aspects. most (us american) christians also just hate anyone who doesn't conform to their religion, especially one that challenges their beliefs of the afterlife. especially because christians generally don't believe non-human animals have souls, because the christian religion says that humans are Special and are the only ones with souls because they're god's favorites, and anything contradicting that makes them VERY mad. this isn't to bash christians, most are able to respect other people's beliefs, but the ones who weaponize their religion to be bigots have many "reasons" why they hate everyone with beliefs that even just Slightly differ from the norm and make it everyone else's problem.

related to the above point, organized religions ruled by bigots are a method of social control; they want a societal norm and anything or anyone who doesn't fit into that norm is "satanic/demonic" and needs to be eliminated to protect their social norms. if they allow things/people that differ from the norm to exist, they lose social power, so they have a vested interest in eliminating anything that falls outside of the norm for political/power hungry reasons as well. i had more to say on this but i forgor while i was writing the first part 💀. anyways this is why they hate gay and trans people, because we directly threaten their social norms ("God created Man and Woman and no other genders" and "True marriage is between a Man and a Woman")

very much agree with the "you have to learn to mesh your kin identity with your pre-existing sense of self" point @/sacchiarine-fiction made. it's an absolutely crucial part of safely and responsibly identifying as 'kin that i think a lot of people skip, thus harming themselves. i think this is common with people who lack a sense of self, like people with personality disorders and alters who don't have a pre-existing self. it certainly helps people be less obsessive and desperate with sourcemates. we actually do know a tmc sourcemate, but we built our friendship on mutual interests and it turned out we just clicked really well, it didn't have much to do with our source (we didn't even know each other in our canons, and i think we're from different canons entirely). there's some people we've tried befriending based on a shared source that we didn't click with, and we didn't become friends, you also have to learn to make peace with that/not feel guilty about it. i am speaking from a place of Priviledge as i have in-system sourcemates, though, and the loneliness can be really severe and soul-crushing (i know from when i wasn't aware of my sourcemates yet), so i also can't blame people for being so desperate for connection.

personally, as a traumagenic system, we believe endogenic systems exist. the brain is an incredibly complex organ, if something can happen by 'accident' then it can definitely be done on purpose, and also most anti-endo arguments we see boil down to "endogenics are faking a trauma disorder!" (not true, most endos do not claim to have DID/OSDD/etc. unless they have a diagnosis) and "system is an exclusively medical term!" (no, it is not, and why does it matter anyway if people are specifying they are non-traumagenic?) and "endos can't be real because the DSM says so!" (1. stop treating the DSM as a bible 2. the DSM acknowledges spiritual plurality as separate from DID/OSDD so also incorrect). we also have personal beliefs about plurality that are mainly formed by the book "no bad parts" by richard schwartz (the link is the internet archive pdf download link of the book). aka, most people have "parts", and being a system just happens when the brain forms enough dissociative barriers for the "parts" to become alters. i honestly think dissociative disorders are more about the person's dissociative tendencies than trauma, tbh, since some people can go through the worst traumas imaginable but stay singlet but that might be a Spicy take.

i think some parts of the endogenic community are definitely harmful for some people, especially minors, but i know endos/mixed origin systems who are fantastic people. it's like how there's definitely some Bad parts of the queer community, but that doesn't reflect on queer people as a group, it reflects on the people in those Bad parts of the community. personally, i hate the anti-endo community because when i was trying to learn about what we were going through as a newly discovered system i was bombarded by anti-endo discourse in the main OSDD/DID tags, and it fucked me up really badly. does that mean all anti-endos are bad people? no. but i much prefer the community that encourages self-expression and exploration and that says it's okay to be wrong about things, vs. the community that is incredibly restrictive and demands to know about other people's traumas and fakeclaims people and pathologizes plurality to a concerning degree (plurality isn't a disorder, DID/OSDD systems who achieve functional multiplicity exist, the disorder is the severe dissociative symptoms of DID/OSDD/etc, not the plurality)

hopefully this is coherent and not just inane yapping <3 i can elaborate if you want to know more about certain points but uhhh i think i said a lot already lmao

Im going to be extremely honest right now, this is going to be something like "change my view" from reddit and yes it will be raw because everything in my blog is raw and honest to the most I can. Please ignore this if anti-kin might trigger you even if you want to help, prioritize your health, Im just an online stranger.

Tw: fake claiming things, something similar to cringe culture, calling things insane, person questioning if they are a bigot, sharing of a personal history (very short part of the post but matters a lot for the context)

Going straight to the point:

- I used to be fictionkin, but I was VERY parasocial and wanted to find sourcemates all of the time even when people didnt even know me much or didnt know I was talking to them because of source (did this with also fictives of systems)

- I used to post anti kin things after my bad experience and stopped being fictionkin/otherkin and even argued with people that it was harmful because of my experience and that it was insanity

- I still feel kin feelings but I just try to erase them since I do think they are part of something insane

- I do think that kin is bad on younger people because it might confuse them about reality x fiction

- I do feel jealousy because Im worried if any kins will get between me and a fictional character and even gatekeep them because "they are actually the character"

- I do wish that everyone stopped being kin and abandoned the community

And finally: I feel like Im a bigot. Like. An homophobe but kin version.

I fear so much, like, I fear insanity, I fear that this is harmful to one's identity, and I fear it might make me insane to say "hey Im zombie kin" or "hey Im actually like, Noob in some level of self"

Anyone feel/felt like that too?

Anyone can help me with my bigot head?

I... Also think I feel something similar for the plural community with the whole stuff about faking disorders and the discussions between endogen vs traumagen

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you know the nap was bad when you wake up feeling like you had a scary edible in nightmare world

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LOWER BACK STILL IN PAIN THIS MORNING 🎉 lord have mercy upon us we cannot afford a doctor's appt rn and also we need to go places tomorrow. i am going to lay flat as a board and Pray. every doctor who told us our back pain is "nothing to be worried about" owes every member of this system $1000 each and will be sent to hell swiftly and efficiently amen

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I'm in so much physical pain but that won't stop me reblogging trump is dead manifestation god strike him down PLEASE

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FUCKING REBLOG TO CAST NOW

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INTERESTING THINGS HAPPENING ON TWITTER RIGHT NOW

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when everything in the insane asylum is out to get you but you're just a chill guy

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Anti-Callout posts facinate me as I've only ever seen them used for actual shit like pedophilia or incest. Are there people making callout posts for not that?

fascinating question. anon, i highly doubt that every callout post you've ever seen was for "actual shit" like pedophilia or incest and not usually just someone itching to unperson a trans woman obsessively digging through her personal social media (very normal behavior of course) and then self-righteously calling her out for a kink she has, or a post that wasn't perfectly worded, or just something entirely made up. there is genuinely little point in entertaining the idea that some callout posts are not That, and that they accomplish anything other than giving people an excuse to dogpile, isolate and maybe ruin a vulnerable person's life

[peculiareyezer]

Anti-Callout posts facinate me as I've only ever seen them used for actual shit like pedophilia or incest. Are there people making callout posts for not that?

fascinating question. anon, i highly doubt that every callout post you've ever seen was for "actual shit" like pedophilia or incest and not usually just someone itching to unperson a trans woman obsessively digging through her personal social media (very normal behavior of course) and then self-righteously calling her out for a kink she has, or a post that wasn't perfectly worded, or just something entirely made up. there is genuinely little point in entertaining the idea that some callout posts are not That, and that they accomplish anything other than giving people an excuse to dogpile, isolate and maybe ruin a vulnerable person's life

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'Blissful'

8in x 10in, Gouache

2024