pen-parker-blog
pen-parker-blog
David Parker
2K posts
Writer - Actor - Editor - Human
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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My Cinematic Life 2017 1/4
My Cinematic Life 2017 1/4
So one of my resolutions for this year was to go to the cinema more often, in particular to try to watch more good films after the disappointment that was last year (Although quite fitting for the quality of movies to represent the quality of the year itself). So with March over and us now a quarter of the way through the year (yes really), I figured it would be a good time to look back at the…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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How I Avoided a Hangover - Life Lessons
How I Avoided a Hangover – Life Lessons
So any loyal readers (all 2 of them) to this blog may have noticed a recurring trend in the majority of my posts. Yes, as you cannot have an omelette without breaking a few eggs, you also cannot have a series of hangover blogs without breaking your brain from heavy alcohol consumption. However I thought it was time for a change and to actually attempt to show the world that I am a responsible and…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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Ah the return of the Hangover Blog. Oh how I have missed thee.
So last weekend I travelled up t’North (as it is properly known to us Southerners), to Manchester to see Scratch Night Girl-ish, performed by the amazingly talented women of No Door Theatre (Click here for last weeks post). There is something odd about jumping on a plane and landing the same country you have taken off in.
  Not quite the sun kissed beaches of Majorca
  Although a trip to the tropical paradise that is Manchester did hold significance for me, as this was in fact the city from where my Mother hailed from and called her home growing up. So I was excited to walk the streets my Mum had walked down many years earlier, although she did have to break it to me, that perhaps things would have changed in the 30 or so years since she has lived there.
I’d like to think Johnny has been there forever
Still, even though we hadn’t left the country, this was all still so new to me. Having spent all my life in the South of England, I was excited to share the same experiences as my Northern brethren and live the life they live. So we went to a bar, got served by a southerner, and consumed Italian food and beer. Eee by Gum, don’t get much more Northern than that my son!
Did someone say alcohol?
So after watching Girl-Ish we were lucky enough to hang out with the cast and crew of No Door Theatre, and what happens when you find yourself in an enclosed space with a bunch of theatre types, near a flowing stream of alcohol? Well you suddenly find yourself on a night bus into the centre of town to go out clubbing – Wait what? How did I get here, you know my views on clubbing! I’m a grumpy 60 year old trapped in a 25 year old’s body! Problem for this inner curmudgeon is that his travelling companion is a young fresh faced University student who is way cooler than myself and leaps at the opportunity to venture out into the alcoholic’s equivalent of that cave in the  Dagobah system.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Once you’ve fallen out the taxi and stumbled back to your hotel room, having a full blown argument with the fucking key card lock – because I can never work the bloody thing, why can’t we just have keys like normal people, because I have to shove that card in every which way about a dozen bloody times before the damn thing gives way…. followed by a mere 4 hours sleep where really bad leg cramp suddenly wakes you up at 5am to remind you how much of an old man you are, you realise perhaps you shouldn’t have consumed that much alcohol when you have to check out at the ungodly time of 10am. The regret also sinks in, along with the pounding inside your head, as you ride the bus into town over a dozen potholes, even though you pay an insufferable amount of money each year on road tax, so why the hell don’t the pot holes get filled in? Don’t the Council even think about the poor hungover man dying on the bus? Then once off the bus, you have eight hours to kill..in a city you’ve never been to before…with a hangover… whilst this shit is going on.
This man is my hero
Thankfully the two of us survived dragging our carcasses through the city of Manchester, avoiding the temptation to fall asleep in a Costa Coffee, or throw up in a public toilet, to take in some of the sights this city has to offer. These included, but were not limited to, seeing a police woman give chase and tackle a man to the ground, people failing to pay attention to on coming trams, an oddly large number of hen party gatherings, and whatever the hell is going on here.
As far as hangovers go…. yeah this was a pretty horrid one. I don’t know what it is about hanging out with other theatre types, but the alcohol always seems to flow a lot thicker and faster. Or maybe it’s just my crippling alcoholism…. Nah can’t be that
Anyways, the pair of us made it o the end of the day with our heads held high, (literally we were having to physically hold them up) to make it to the airport, and enjoy the fun ordeal of me starting to panic as I think about just how in the flying hell does a giant hunk of metal, with dozens of people inside manage to get itself from the ground into the air when it must weigh a bloody tonne and- Oh wait we’re back home… that was quick!
And breath
I always love writing Hangover Blogs for this site, although the actual experience of the hangover is not one I am keen to repeat. So I’m happy to leave it a while before having to endure another one.
So next week I am London bound for the 28 Plays Later meet up. Meaning I will once again be in an enclosed space….with a load of theatre types….near a flowing stream of alcohol
Hangover blog it is. 
DAVE
P.S – Cheeky plug time. This April I will be performing in Yt2 Theatre’s production of the Simon Stephens play Birdland. We are taking the show up to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year, but before then we are hosting two performances at the Hanger Farm Arts Centre in Totton, Southampton. If you are in the area, or even if you’re not, you should really come and check out what will be a truly fantastic piece of theatre. And hey, maybe we can get drunk afterwards, because that’s what us theatre types do right?
Tickets can be purchased here
Manchester Hangover – Up t’North Ah the return of the Hangover Blog. Oh how I have missed thee. So last weekend I travelled up t'North (as it is properly known to us Southerners), to Manchester to see Scratch Night Girl-ish, performed by the amazingly talented women of No Door Theatre (
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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A Night of Scratch Theatre - Girl-ish
A Night of Scratch Theatre – Girl-ish
On Friday myself and my friend Shannon hopped on a plane and found ourselves in Manchester. The reason for this “exotic” excursion was for the scratch night Girl-ish, presented by No Door Theatre, which would feature a series of short plays focused on what it means to be female. One of the pieces, Conversations with Myself, had been written by Shannon and seeing I was the one who convinced her to…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Epilogue
28 Plays Later – Epilogue
I never thought I would see the day, or should that be month? It is now finally March. February has passed and so too has the 28 Plays Later challenge. 28 days over, 28 plays completed, and 60,595 words have been written. Granted some of those words were for verbatim plays, and one of those plays was essentially a copy and paste of the Vagina Monologues which I just inserted Donald Trump into…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 -Plays Later - Challenge #28
28 -Plays Later – Challenge #28
Challenge We started with 1928 – so lets end in 8291. Write a play based around those numbers. Response ….. Oh go on then. This challenge was inspired by a conversation I had with Sebastian Rex following yesterdays challenge. Sebastian revealed to me that 18 months ago he made a vow that if Brexit and Trump happen – I will stop…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #27
28 Plays Later – Challenge #27
Challenge Pick any of the previous 26 challenges we’ve done and write a NEW play following that brief. Response This is a pretty good opportunity to go back to a challenge I struggled with, or go back to a play I hated and be able to tackle one of the previous briefs and create something better. Or I could just be completely lazy and re-do a challenge that was piss-easy because screw effort it’s…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #26
28 Plays Later – Challenge #26
Challenge Pick your favourite play from this month so far, check the word count and divide it by two. Edit your play to the new word count, but only delete and do not add anything new. Response One of my favourites for this month was Challenge 22, where we had to create a piece of Fan Fiction. My play was entitled Curtain Call, which is a small spin-off of the David Hare play Amy’s View, with the…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #25
28 Plays Later – Challenge #25
Challenge Every writer has started working on something and then gave up halfway through. We all have somewhere an uncompleted idea or play. Your challenge for today, should you choose to accept it, is to find one of those ideas and complete them! Response Where do I even begin with this one? There are countless ideas and unfinished scripts on my laptop that I have started working on and never…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #24
28 Plays Later – Challenge #24
Challenge Write a play in another language (a real or made up one) and make it interesting for an English speaking audience. Response God Damn it! Why do we get a tricky challenge for a Friday where I am at work all day, followed by rehearsals, which in turn will be followed by a large intake of alcohol (all of these thing are neccesities). So this is a cop out short and sweet submission. I saw…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #23
28 Plays Later – Challenge #23
Challenge There are so many different ways in which we can create radical theatre. Whether we want to look at how we treat our bodies or how we use language or humor or space or our relationship with the audience or gender or ethnicity or sexuality or narrative, etc. So let’s do that today. Pick something you want to be radical about – and go wild! Response Anyone that knows me is aware that I am…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #22
28 Plays Later – Challenge #22
Challenge Write a theatrical piece of Fan Fiction. Write something about your favourite characters doing something else. Or use their world to create new characters… Or something like that. Response Last year I performed as Toby in Amy’s View, at the Chesil Theatre in Winchester. When trying to come up with a form of fan fiction, I found it a lot easier to write for a character that I myself have…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #21
28 Plays Later – Challenge #21
Challenge Get your space suits on, and your metaphors in first gear – and lets get inspired by the vast meaningless emptiness that is our lives… I mean – the vast meaningless emptiness that is the universe! Response I wasn’t really sure where I was going with this one. I think in the back of my head I had an “it was earth all along” twist ready to end this one on. Just no beginning or middle. In…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #20
28 Plays Later – Challenge #20
Challenge Write a play under the title: Boundary Issues. Response We’re enetering the twenties, the end is in sight. Also a challenge where two page pieces are being celebrated? Yes please. Result Boundary Issues Scene One A small kitchen – There is someone rooting through the fridge, his face is obscured by the fridge door, but we can tell he is smartly dressed. He stands up, holding a bottle of…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #19
28 Plays Later – Challenge #19
Challenge Pick an artistic movement or an art form that is not applied to theatre yet, research it – and write a play in that style – whatever that may mean. Response  Is it cause it’s late, is it cause I went to the pub today? Either way I read the brief for todays challenge and I had no f**king idea what this challenge meant or what I had to do. I am one of the least arty people out there, so I…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #18
28 Plays Later – Challenge #18
Challenge This is what is known as Sebastian Rex’s ‘favourite’ challenge. The rules for this play are as follows. The play has 3 talking characters and two that don’t talk. You have an option of adding one more character – but only if he delivers pizza! One of the characters is magical (in whatever way you see fit) and/or one of the characters is obsessed with fish. You may use a maximum of 7…
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pen-parker-blog · 8 years ago
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28 Plays Later - Challenge #17
28 Plays Later – Challenge #17
Challenge Write a play that is devoid of emotion. Response After work on Friday I have a rehearsal to go to and no time to write a play, so this one was a cop out. I basically bashed out a boring 2 and a bit page dialouge. Still meets the criteria of the challenge though. There is no emotion, it conveys some form of drama, and features a kitchen sink (that’s what he meant by kitchen sink drama…
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