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penis-queen · 8 years
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want2die
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penis-queen · 8 years
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Tim this isn’t fair. we spent the last two hours after our date crying and arguing and i can’t take it.
at the same time i can’t take feeling like everything i’m doing is absolutely wrong. so much is going on inside my head constantly. every day my mom wakes up, she’s so much closer to her death and that scares me. especially when she’s out of the state. i’m not even 22 yet for god’s sake. i’m not ready for anything like this. today i bought large size tights before our date and they still didn’t fit me right. LARGE. how the fuck heavy am i now? like holy shit every day seems like a fucking battle at this point. i fucking hate myself no matter what. I’m unhappy at a job i’m overly succeeding at. you don’t have a job. you don’t have a job. you don’t have a job. you don’t have a job. why do i always have to be working full time? i hate working full time. i’m so under appreciated it hurts so deep inside. i constantly want to relapse again because sometimes i don’t feel anything at all and i just want to feel again some how.when will i ever be good enough for myself
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penis-queen · 11 years
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I'm honestly glad that I haven't relapsed since November. Let's make sure it's the last time that I will! 
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penis-queen · 11 years
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penis-queen · 11 years
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it's weird to think, but i might be in love with my best friend?? living with him has been such a breeze but that's stupid. but also i have feelings for my ex. 
but then again i have no idea what i'm thinking of and what about because this has been an on and off thing for the past few days and it's almost my birthday. i have no idea whatsoever and it sucks i really need to talk to my other best friend to help me clarify things and some tough love.
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penis-queen · 11 years
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penis-queen · 11 years
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penis-queen · 11 years
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U
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penis-queen · 11 years
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penis-queen · 11 years
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I'm so sad because i'm missing you. I don't know what love is but all I can think of is you even though there have been other prospects. I can't think of being with them without feeling guilty because i'm only thinking of you. Fuck, I do miss you so much and I know you miss me too and that's what makes it hurt more. Do I love you? No. but I only see myself with you for now. And being in the same state as you in a few days will soften the pain, but I just really want to hold you and your face.
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penis-queen · 11 years
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penis-queen · 11 years
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penis-queen · 11 years
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You broke up with me and we fucked and later you tell me you still have feelings for me. I don't understand. 
But it's nice to know that you do because I'm just in it for the sex and familiarity that comes along with it. 
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penis-queen · 11 years
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I'm so bummed out, I don't know what to do with myself.
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penis-queen · 11 years
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penis-queen · 11 years
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penis-queen · 11 years
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