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[persephoneunderground1]

Change

I hate change, I know it is necessary, but somehow it hollows my heart thinking it is not the same between us.

Maybe I could have changed with you, but I didn't. And cannot stop thinking that I'm falling behind And you meet new people. But I'm right where you left me.

[persephoneunderground1]

Yearly throwback

This year was unremarkable. But make me realize that the best things in life doesn't necessarily need to be remarkable. Instead, the little things are the ones that marks you more than your understanding. In comparison to 2022, this year has taught me to accept things about me that I didn't know I needed to heal.

Last year, the separation of my parents marked me like the moon marks the night. And I, at the right time and the right moment, listened to "castles crumbling" from Taylor Swift, which somehow related to my parents' divorced and the fact that one of the buildings I grew on was shattered down, like my love expectations. So, last year I was beyond heartbroken, if it weren't for my friends I probably wouldn't be able to overcome the lost I had at the time. But this year, that place, that was broken just as my home, began to be built up again. And, somehow I wasn't as angry and concerned as the beginning. One of the things I notice is that my parents are humans, and they are prone to make mistakes too because they are just like me, just tying to overcome life as best as the can. So, even though I resented them a little bit, I understood that it is not my fault. And everything is gonna be alright. Things just change, just as energy.

So, for this year (2023) I didn't have many expectations, as the previous were broken by circumstances of life. Somehow, this year hadn't as much emotions as last. But I did have many learning. I become so much self-conscious about my surroundings. I didn't thought someone could grow this fast but I did. I could go on about all the things I learnt in this year, but I'll just summarize the information for me in the future. First, you are worth of love, and the universe won't give you quest you can't complete. You are in perfect timing for doing everything you ever dreamed on. Don't take it too personal, take a moment to breath, every day is beautiful as it is. You are fine as you are, take your time, don't compare yourself to others. You have your own inner beauty. You are magic, girl, don't be afraid of being yourself. Do not hold on things you cannot save and set your boundaries. Finally, things change, it is normal, don't be afraid because so many beautiful things are coming for you.

And for those who read this long story of a girl who's trying to understand life and somehow are in the same situation. Don't be afraid because things do get better <3

[persephoneunderground1]

“I do not miss childhood, but I miss the way I took pleasure in small things, even as greater things crumbled. I could not control the world I was in, could not walk away from things or people or moments that hurt, but I took joy in the things that made me happy.”

— Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane

[persephoneunderground1]

Grantaire: this salad is the exact opposite of me

Bossuet: what, you mean it’s healthy?

Grantaire: ahahahaha

Bossuet: ahahahaha

Grantaire: no I mean it’s dressed

Bossuet, looking at a naked grantaire: yeah I’ve been meaning to ask you about that

[persephoneunderground1]

“I want to tear up the earth until I find you,”

— Miguel Hernández, from Selected Poems; “Elegy,” wr. c. January 1936

[persephoneunderground1]

“Never choose region over humanity. Never choose religion over humanity. Never choose politics over humanity. The only thing to choose over humanity is the truth.”

— the only thing // Hina Syeda

[persephoneunderground1]

[persephoneunderground1]

can’t stand those dumb teenagers who insist on using “da” instead of “the” because they think it’s cool. leonardo DA vinci? seriously? it’s obviously leonardo THE vinci, you uncultured swine

[persephoneunderground1]

I usually think that I’m not really important to other people. That there’ll be someone above of me, someone better, sweeter, happier, funnier than me. I think that I’m not the number one in the list of anyone, not my parents, not my best friend, no one really cares what happens to me

[persephoneunderground1]

Automatic lifeline

I usually feel that I’m living my life in automatic, that i don’t live and feel my life enough, that I see myself outside me, and I don’t really like that, maybe if i am more funny or charming could help, but I’ve trying so hard and i don’t see any differences between before and now.

[persephoneunderground1]

I just want to enjoy the time, but Often it seems to be really difficult for me

[persephoneunderground1]

[persephoneunderground1]

Feeling Suicidal… again

[persephoneunderground1]

Sometimes

Sometimes I think that anger and problems are a big part of me.

Sometimes I say things that I don’t want to say

Sometimes I screw up the things with everyone

Sometimes I can’t control myself

Sometimes I let my anger control me

Sometimes I just let oneself go

And sometimes I’m just tired of being me.

[persephoneunderground1]

When you’re nicht seguro if you are speaking en English, español or Deutsch oder a weird mezcla of that

Me

[persephoneunderground1]

[persephoneunderground1]

“oh ok” actually means my heart just got ripped into a million pieces but i won’t tell you because you wouldn’t care how i feel anyway