peter--pandemonium

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Wearing men’s deodorant and watching the straight girls I work with faces’ become Confused and Attracted because I smell like a Hot Guy™ (their words) is a bisexual power move and you can’t tell me otherwise.

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taken literally 1 minute apart

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so i work at a retirement home and one of the residents heard me saying “mood” all the time and she asked what it meant and now she won’t stop saying it

another resident fell over and she was just like “mood”

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vanitas: *removes helmet*

sora: hey you look kinda familiar

vanitas: huh weird guess I just have one of those faces

sora and vanitas:

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ocean man

take me by the hand

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life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep

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i don’t even get what’s wrong with this gif

i mean she pours the soda perfectly why do they all shit their pants

[peter--pandemonium]

bikinikillings:

roses are red

violets are blue

[peter--pandemonium]

two hackers accidently hacking the same website

hacker 1: im in

hacker 2: im in

hacker 1: oh shit hacker 2 wasssap

hacker 2: hey hacker 1 sorry man i didnt see u here this is awk ill just go

hacker 1: ok see u later man

hacker 2: im out

[peter--pandemonium]

[peter--pandemonium]

when my brain manages to pump out some dopamine

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i feel like bo burnham did the exact opposite of sell out. like his early stuff is pretty tacky run-of-the-mill edgy™ comedy which was his way of breaking into the business but now he’s just like “hey do you guys want to hear about how celebrities are products manufactured by a capitalistic society preying on the marginalized also art is dead *funky synth noise*”

[peter--pandemonium]

[peter--pandemonium]

life is a joke!!!! we’re all a joke!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!