ygpgsgl-public-records-only

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

I don't care how all of you see me; I only care whether I can get the judgment I want. I did not lie. I don't owe anyone anything. I deserve to have it.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

Every time I see someone say "I understand you" or "I'm just like you," I want to laugh. You have no idea what I've been through, yet you dare to say, "I understand you." You think we're the same just because you've been through a bit of similar hardship? Then try my pain and see how many bones you have left.

That's why I said that 90% of Yukimura Chizuru's fans are hypocrites; I'm really not wrong about you.

The most disgusting thing about Yukimura Chizuru and her fans is their delusional fantasy that the complex Kazama would fall for her superficiality, chasing after her and praising her immaturity as kindness and purity.

What you love isn't a real person, or even a real character. You love a passive, gentle, non-threatening projection: a vessel who never challenges power, never voices her own desires, and never disrupts the fantasy. You say you understand pain, but you reject anyone who expresses it with rage, clarity, or a demand for accountability. You say you love Kazama, but only when he's softened, tamed, made palatable. What you fear isn't misinterpretation—what you fear is someone like me, who knows exactly what he's made of. I'm not here to please you. I'm here to burn down the illusions.

If that threatens you—good. It means you were never on my side to begin with.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

What exactly is my relationship with autumn? I am just one of the countless Hakuouki fans she has talked to, simply someone who really likes Kazama Chikage, nothing special. That's all the explanation you need.

Apart from Kazama Chikage, I have nothing in common with her.

She is the one who saved me when I was in the most pain and left me when I needed her the most.

I thank her, understand her, and respect all her choices. That's all.

The so-called "understanding" is a power of judgment: I know you retreat, I know you evade, I know you cannot bear my weight, so I let you go. But don't come any closer. I understand you because I’ve already walked through everything you’re still afraid to look at.

从今往后，我便与她无关。

我不再从他们的账号里寻找我。 我在我自己的文字里，在狐狸的拥抱里，在狗子的沉默注视里。 我已经回家了。

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

All the wounds I have received were inflicted by humans.

I once tried hard to love, to understand, to empathize, only to be met with misunderstanding, dissection, and exhaustion. I once tried to catch others, but in the end, I was the one who got thrown down. I once desperately spoke the truth, only to be labeled as "too sensitive" and "too extreme." I hate the order that constantly demands me to conform, give in, and tolerate, the society that always tries to approach me easily but never truly gives me a sense of security. Fuck you.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

Everyone who talks to me makes me feel like I am the most miserable person in the world.

Not because they are malicious, but because they approach me with faces of "concern," "understanding," and "curiosity," while listening, they dissect and mark the wounds on me, they say, "You remind me of myself when I was a child." You are a being worthy of being written about. You showed me how trauma reshapes the subject.

But no one really stops to ask:

Do you want to continue being seen? Can you handle it?

I want to be seen, but not in this way.

Not in the way of "You remind me of someone," Not in the way of "You are so special," Not in the way of "I have learned a lot from you."

I am not your projection screen. Not your echo chamber. Not the pain experience package you casually open during your psychological exercises.

I want to be seen — the kind of seeing that doesn’t interrupt my words, doesn’t preset conclusions, doesn’t analyze my pain to fulfill your capacity for empathy. It’s you standing in front of me, not asking if I want to get better, nor if I can bear the tears you shed when you look at me.

You just stand there, looking at me, and say:

"I know you are not every word you say. I know you are still changing. I know you do not exist for anyone's understanding."

That is what it means to see.

I am me. It is still the living me, the me who is trying to stand up, but is repeatedly dissected by you all, repeatedly placed under a microscope.

Stop using gentle words to break my bones. I've had enough.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

Clarification and Position on "Neurodiversity" and Behavioral Responsibility

I understand that discussing neurodiversity and mental states in online conflicts is a highly sensitive matter. As a critic who has always focused on social structures and linguistic mechanisms, I would like to solemnly clarify the following points:

My position has always been consistent:

First, I have always maintained a basic respect and political sensitivity towards the situations and experiences of neurodiverse groups (including autism spectrum, ADHD, OCD, etc.). Our society is far too quick to view "difference" as "wrong," and too accustomed to pathologizing the perceptual ways of minorities with "disorder" labels. I personally am also deeply aware of the complexity of cognitive systems, the struggles in expression, and what those daily moments of misunderstanding mean.

But this respect does not mean that all behaviors can therefore be exempt from accountability. I must clearly point out:

When someone consciously takes words out of context, manipulates meanings, repeatedly frames others, and uses platform rules to launch attacks, it is no longer a matter that can be explained by "communication barriers" or "perceptual differences."

The behavioral pattern she exhibits is a form of perceptual egocentrism discourse structure: upgrading "I feel uncomfortable" to "the other party is guilty"; transforming "I misunderstood your words" into "you threatened me"; and using personal labels (such as autism, illness, etc.) as an unquestionable shield to suppress all reasonable rebuttals and clarifications.

This is not an expression problem caused by neurodiversity, but a manipulative behavior that systematically politicizes and instrumentalizes identity labels. I understand that autism affects contextual recognition and emotional interpretation abilities,

But autism does not lead people to initiate organized denunciations, clip others' words and repeatedly spread distorted information, refuse all explanations, and stigmatize critics in return. If cognitive differences are a kind of dilemma, then her behavior is more like: turning the dilemma into a strategy, repeatedly used to attack others and evade accountability.

I respect her neurodiversity, but I will not attribute her aggressive behavior to neurodiversity.

I am willing to understand her sensitivity, but I do not accept her using sensitivity to negate my right to reason and clarify.

I reject any behavior that weaponizes identity labels, especially when it becomes a means to suppress others' freedom of speech and reputation rights.

Finally, I want to say: You can have pain, but you cannot use pain to cancel out the existence of others; You can have differences, but you cannot use those differences to deprive others of the right to interpret.

What truly deserves protection is never the "label," but those who choose honesty and respect others' boundaries amidst complexity and reality.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

Thank you very much for finally admitting it. That angry rant in Souji's tone hit your deepest fear more than my analysis of Hitler's structure—it turns out what you fear most is not the political or historical analogy, nor the exposure of your behavior patterns, but the psychological truth you will eventually reveal: you know you are the instigator. You dare not share that article about Hitler because you know it’s not "insulting you," but precisely defining you.

ladyyomi's "perception centrism" is not about facts, but about defending the priority of her feelings. All her judgment criteria are based on the premise "I feel hurt = you have malicious intent." She does not seek a chain of evidence, nor does she restore context; instead, she constantly amplifies her discomfort into absolute truth. Thus, others' anger is a threat, while her accusations are justice; others' counterattacks are attacks, while her screenshots are evidence. She is not debating, but demanding the whole world to yield to her subjective experience—you are not forbidden to oppose her, but once you make her uncomfortable, she wants you to shut up.

You used a Souji tone to complain → she "feels" this is scary → she thinks there is something wrong with you → she looks for evidence → she can't find any evidence → she fabricates connections → she says, "See, it's you." This is not reasoning; it's a paranoid closed-loop self-justification.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

You Call It Fairness. I Call It Evasion.

Author’s Note:

This is a personal reflection on the ethical implications of so-called "neutrality" in online conflicts. When public accusations are made without accessible evidence, and when both sides are treated as equally untrustworthy by default, it creates a dangerous imbalance that favors the loudest voices, not the most truthful. I wrote this in response to a recurring pattern I’ve seen across fandom spaces—one where demands for "proof" are selective, accountability is one-sided, and silence is mistaken for fairness.

There is a kind of voice that always arrives late—after the damage has been done, after reputations have been shattered, after someone has already broken down. It comes cloaked in reason, armed with symmetry, claiming to “see both sides” and lamenting how “no one can ever truly know the truth.”

This voice thinks it’s being wise. What it doesn’t realize is that it is already complicit.

Let’s be clear: when someone is accused of harassment, abuse, plagiarism, or mental instability—and the accusations are circulated widely, but the evidence remains inaccessible or deliberately withheld—it is not a neutral situation. It is a structurally loaded one.

When one party says: “Here I am, you can see everything I’ve written, I demand you show proof,” And the other says: “We have proof, but we won’t show you,” There is no “equal ambiguity.” There is an asymmetry of power, deliberately maintained through opaque channels, rumor networks, and collective silence.

People love to pretend that withholding judgment is a form of moral high ground. It isn’t. It’s an ethical retreat.

You are not being “careful” by saying “maybe both sides did something wrong.” You are flattening harm. You are abstracting pain into a thought experiment. And most of all, you are placing the burden of proof on the wrong person—the one already being cornered, smeared, and silenced.

Do you know how exhausting it is to be asked to “prove you’re not that person” when the accusers refuse to even acknowledge your existence? Do you know how cruel it is to demand transparency from the person already under fire, while giving total privacy to those hurling accusations from the shadows?

If your idea of fairness is to treat the knife and the wound as morally equivalent, you are not a neutral observer. You are part of the blade.

My record of rights protection archived up to now (7/11)

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

Hitler's Final Madness: An Absurd Farce About the "Victim" Narrative

My demand from the beginning has been to clarify that autumn and ygpgsgl are not the same person, and to require ladyyomi, who condones and encourages such remarks, to apologize. I publicly asked her to provide three types of evidence:

Screenshots of the alleged harassment.

Links to the original fanfiction allegedly "plagiarized," along with comparison images of the suspected plagiarized paragraphs.

Any verifiable timestamps or account logs supporting their claims.

In other words, only if they fulfill the above three points can their accusations against me be considered valid.

However, ladyyomi and her supporters did not do this. Their response was:

Unilaterally blocking me, preventing me from clarifying the facts, and then stigmatizing my mentions in her posts as "harassment," but it was they who spread a large amount of autumn=ygpgsgl statements from the very beginning, not me. I'll say it again: they posted exactly the same message under the three works "A Friend Like You" (ladyyomi), "A Note from Me" (autumn), and "The Birth of Romantic" (ygpgsgl), especially the last one, which already constitutes an open provocation against me.

Attempting to revoke the legitimacy of "anonymous creation," they regard my anonymity as "block evasion" and "anonymous ranting out of revenge," equating anonymity with shirking responsibility, thereby denying the value of my work itself. They deliberately ignore that my anonymity is an effort to convey the truth to the public while protecting myself. Furthermore, they demand that I provide my Discord account name to prove that I am not autumn. Obviously, even if I did, they would continue to argue that "this is a self-directed performance by autumn," because they have long falsely claimed that "autumn has thousands of alternate accounts." Any user supporting autumn can be slandered by them as an alternate account of autumn using this rhetoric. Their style of speech is like kidnappers holding hostages demanding ransom from family members in exchange for their "apology."

Repeatedly using labels such as "homophobic bully," "attention-starved," "narcissist," "sad and lonely" to belittle my character, they try to characterize me as an unreasonable troublemaker with mental issues who refuses treatment; they use psychiatric terms like "mentally ill but refuses treatment," "immature," "clowning again" to humiliate me, undermine the legitimacy of my expression, and attempt to stigmatize my lawful rights defense and self-protective statements as the ramblings of a mentally ill person, urging me to stop "spreading rumors" about her (which are actually legitimate accusations). They then use this as a basis to threaten me with expulsion disguised as concern but actually intended to humiliate (for example, "hope you can get through this," "go get treatment," "stop hurting others").

Confusing the boundaries between public platforms and private spaces, they disguise themselves as "exhausted victims of ongoing harassment," labeling my quoting of their defamatory remarks in self-defense as "crossing the line of harassment," while treating her publicly made slanderous statements as private speech; they downplay and rationalize their aggressive behavior by saying they "just blocked you" or "just rejected your opinions," but ignore that they themselves repeatedly stalk and repost on Tumblr and AO3, mock me in tags, and then claim that I am "block-evading" and "not letting them go."

Resorting to collective denunciation, using "group consensus" to isolate me, continuously emphasizing "we all know what happened," "no one will believe you," "only you are making a fuss," using group pressure to make me appear as an unreasonable, unsupported lunatic, thereby inciting uninformed audiences to block me. They hope to exclude me from the community through technical means. ladyyomi even shamelessly creates and posts sarcastic memes mocking me as "yomi surrounded by friends, leaving only autumn talking to herself."

Meanwhile, the so-called evidence they listed:

Only a bunch of IDs with unverifiable sources and screenshots of private messages with ladyyomi. I have repeatedly emphasized that before July this year, I had no private communication with ladyyomi, and any logic suggesting that the person in the pictures = autumn = me is absurd. Their pictures can neither prove that it is autumn nor that it is me.

An emotionally charged interpretation of my autoethnography and rights protection record statements, containing nothing meaningful except a bunch of emotional rhetoric that fails to address my core demands. When they found an equally emotional and angry accusation in the PDF I published, they treated it as a treasure, immediately screenshotting it as evidence that I was trying to issue death threats against them. However, this is exactly what I intentionally wanted everyone to see. I wanted everyone to see how strongly ladyyomi’s absurd accusations affected my mood and how they pushed a rational and wise cultural researcher to this point today.

ladyyomi and her supporters' recent words and actions have clearly implied: none of them are innocent — that is to say, not only have they, as I mentioned before, condoned and encouraged the spread of such false statements, but they are also the deliberate planners and disseminators of these conspiracy theories. This is the point I was making in that post: ladyyomi could not have coincidentally and conveniently come into contact with these people claiming to be from China and naturally call them "her readers," unless they were originally part of the same group. Anyone familiar with Chinese expression habits can immediately recognize that these statements are comments written by foreigners who know nothing about the matter using a translator — since these Chinese people's statements are deliberately fabricated, ladyyomi's actions are tantamount to admitting that she herself is the person fabricating, spreading, and maintaining these statements.

I also want to add: screenshots from the comment section of my work show that this has been a systematic defamation campaign against me starting from January this year, carried out by at least three people: ladyyomiart (AO3: LadyYomi), vicecommanderhijikata (AO3: oninofukuchou), and lightmelodyva (AO3: LightMelodyVA). You read that right, they have been targeting me from the very beginning. I received a suspicious anonymous comment at the beginning of this year (January or February), with the anonymous accuser falsely claiming that I was autumn’s alternate account created to promote her novel "Twenty Three Nights," which defends Kazama Chikage. But I ignored it at the time and deleted the comment as spam. ladyyomi and the others should feel lucky because I no longer have a copy of that message, allowing them to mock me for rambling during a psychotic episode.

Chronologically, they first fabricated a large number of false facts about autumn, then pinned these baseless accusations on me, portraying me as an immoral, repeat offender: "she plagiarized saltyneo’s articles," "she has countless alternate accounts," "she hates fujoshi," "she harasses minors with NSFW content," "she is blocked by 99% of the fandom," "she deletes comments once exposed," "she uses anonymity to bypass blocks and send hateful messages," "she has always had a bad reputation," using these negative moral accusations to create the impression that "everyone is her enemy." autumn issued a clarification statement titled "A Note from Me," denying all the accusers’ allegations, but they not only ignored her efforts, they went further by posting even more irresponsible negative comments under her article.

They united to accuse me as victims, pretending to be "harassed authors" from the Chinese internet, claiming that they "only made mild suggestions but were retaliated against," and tried to form a group accusation with other accused parties, saying that I was "spreading hate through my works" and "writing revenge plots" to prove that I have character flaws, deliberately ignoring the context of my original words. They also used social justice language to gain support, fabricating lies such as "she attacked LGBT character pairings during Pride Month" and "she is an anti-OC troll" to seek moral superiority. But I have repeatedly stated on various occasions: I am not autumn, I do not oppose otome or BL, I support LGBTQ, and I oppose any form of personal attacks. I have never contacted any saltyneo fans through private messages. The group I initially satirized in my autoethnography was not ladyyomi (in fact, the original group I satirized has tacitly pretended nothing happened; they don’t even dare mention my name on social platforms because they know doing so would harm their fanbase, but unfortunately, ladyyomi lacks such self-awareness).

But my efforts to clarify were equally ignored. Instead, they began to further reinforce and repeatedly cite the absurd accusations they fabricated from Chinese authors—more precisely, they falsely claimed to have been harmed by me in the name of those I criticized in the original text—when all I did was scholarly cultural critique research. They even dared to use translators to forge Chinese people's statements, treating these nonsense claims as their "evidence," because they assumed that the vast majority of people do not understand Chinese and would not personally open my autoethnography to verify the truth of these claims. They placed moral judgment above textual quality, mixing emotional narratives and moral accusations in their storytelling, using illogical attacks like "she's too jealous of others," "no one is proud of her in real life," "she's a typical AI fan" to provoke readers' emotional aversion, and repeatedly implied "even if she writes well, she doesn't deserve to be liked," emphasizing "no matter how well you write, if your behavior is immoral, you should be expelled." But now it seems that the ones truly jealous of the other's talent are precisely those who made false accusations trying to silence me, not me.

These people’s distortion of facts has seriously disrupted my life, trampled on my creative enthusiasm, and shattered my trust in the fan community. I began to doubt the authenticity of likes and comments—especially anonymous ones. They repeatedly refreshed my works, making me feel that "no one is willing to seriously read my work except these people deliberately smearing me." I no longer want to open comments and private messages; I fear being insulted by malicious commenters and then blocked, and I fear my words being taken out of context and twisted by them. This is not the treatment I, who was inexplicably dragged into this dispute, should endure: all I did was write honestly. I reiterate: I have never and will never respond to them using the same attacking rhetoric they use against me; I am only revealing how they distort facts to slander me.

As for ladyyomi’s accusation that I use GPT to read and write replies—that is true, and it is their only truth. If I didn’t use AI, given my current physical condition, I simply wouldn’t have time to handle so much information (they tried to overwhelm me with a flood of messages full of lies and emotional manipulation, hoping to defeat me without a fight). Anyone who has dealt with severe depression knows that people like us struggle even to take care of daily life, let alone have the leisure to "harass" them online. If it weren’t for these people repeatedly provoking my boundaries, I could have completely ignored their absurd accusations.

I have already given them enough time to state their positions and even provide evidence to defend themselves, hoping they would come to their senses and bravely admit their mistakes, thus avoiding further pursuit from me. But their responses have been deeply disappointing. I have done all I can. At this point, I no longer accept their apologies, nor will I comply with any of their demands. I hope all of them face platform penalties and pay the price for the serious consequences caused by their deliberate smearing and isolation of me.

ladyyomi's latest response:

Another post that has already been deleted (The original post author is lightmelodyva)

ladyyomi also said I was gaslighting her, then after rambling nonsense, she quietly deleted the original post herself:

Funny how Tumblr won’t respond to my 4,000-word evidence log of sustained defamation and harassment, but if I ever snapped and yelled “I’m so mad I could punch a wall,” they’d probably flag me for threats in 3 seconds.

Maybe ladyyomi should try reporting me for “death threats.” Might finally speed things up.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

I have archived all statements and screenshots, including screen recordings, but I have no intention of publicly releasing them unless required to defend myself. I respect community safety, but I also won’t tolerate erasure of facts.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

📌 For the record:

This is the screenshot I already submitted to Tumblr staff as part of my harassment report. In this post, ladyyomi admits the following:

That she considers a private PDF note in my documentation a “death threat”;

That she believes anonymous comments on my own fic were written by me to attack her;

That she received information from “Chinese fandom writers” without naming any or providing evidence.

This post demonstrates her knowledge of and involvement in the ongoing smear campaign. I am sharing it here publicly to prevent narrative manipulation and for full accountability.

⭐️ For clarity: WHAT HAPPENED?

Someone posted an anonymous comment falsely claiming that I am the same person as Autumn, citing a “Chinese social media writer” as the source—without screenshots, links, or identifiers.

This person posted the exact same comment under ladyyomi's, autumn's clarification announcements, and my character analysis article.

I recognized this as a lie, and in my own documentation, I used a quote in Okita Souji’s tone as a parody to express anger at this fabricated comment.

That quote was: “Damn it, do you believe that once I find you, I’ll kill you?”

Ladyyomi then took this quote out of context, erased the fact that it was a roleplay-style comment in my private file, and claimed I was sending death threats to her and her readers.

This is not a misunderstanding. It is a deliberate framing.

When someone says ‘I won’t respond again’ right after being caught manipulating evidence, it doesn’t mean they’ve moved on. It means they’ve run out of lies.

I see. You declared that you wouldn't respond any further— not because your name was cleared, but because you realized you can no longer fabricate anything without being caught. I respect your silence. It confirms everything I needed to prove.

I don’t need to argue. I don’t need to exaggerate. Her words are still there. Unedited. Unretracted. Undeleted. The posts she wrote in confidence are now the very proof of her guilt. I won’t chase her. I don’t need to. As long as those posts remain, so does her accountability.

The only way ladyyomi could interpret an anonymous comment as a death threat toward her is if she admits it was directed at her. That would mean she knows she was the one harassing others through invisible comments. In other words, she just publicly confessed to being the instigator.🤔🤔🤔

The so-called ‘death threat’ wasn’t a comment I made on their post. It was a note I wrote in a PDF I created to document the harassment I was receiving. I was quoting and annotating their comments in-character—as any fandom writer would understand. If quoting a fictional character in my own documentation is ‘a threat,’ then context no longer matters, and every academic quote would be criminal.

They used my own documentation note against me—taking a fictional tone comment in a PDF meant to expose their harassment, and reframing it as if I attacked them. This is not a misunderstanding. This is a manipulation of evidence.

In other words, Ladyyomi has admitted to:

Reframing out-of-context notes from my private documentation as “death threats”;

Inventing a fictional “Chinese fandom” voice to support her claims with no evidence;

Coordinating a network of friends and alt accounts to spread these fabrications across platforms.

These are not just hurtful rumors. They constitute a targeted, organized defamation campaign. She is not a passive participant in fandom conflict—she is the architect of a coordinated attack.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

The only way ladyyomi could interpret an anonymous comment as a death threat toward her is if she admits it was directed at her. That would mean she knows she was the one harassing others through invisible comments. In other words, she just publicly confessed to being the instigator.🤔🤔🤔

The so-called ‘death threat’ wasn’t a comment I made on their post. It was a note I wrote in a PDF I created to document the harassment I was receiving. I was quoting and annotating their comments in-character—as any fandom writer would understand. If quoting a fictional character in my own documentation is ‘a threat,’ then context no longer matters, and every academic quote would be criminal.

They used my own documentation note against me—taking a fictional tone comment in a PDF meant to expose their harassment, and reframing it as if I attacked them. This is not a misunderstanding. This is a manipulation of evidence.

In other words, Ladyyomi has admitted to:

Reframing out-of-context notes from my private documentation as “death threats”;

Inventing a fictional “Chinese fandom” voice to support her claims with no evidence;

Coordinating a network of friends and alt accounts to spread these fabrications across platforms.

These are not just hurtful rumors. They constitute a targeted, organized defamation campaign. She is not a passive participant in fandom conflict—she is the architect of a coordinated attack.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

Old me: “No one liked my post… Am I not good enough?” Current me: “Someone liked my post?? Who?? Who’s watching me again?!”

I used to have heat anxiety. Now I have post-notification stress disorder.

Liking others’ fics is appreciation. Liking mine? Surveillance.

Back then, I opened my notifications to feel seen. Now I open them to collect evidence before pressing charges. This, my friends, is what we call growth.

I don’t crave visibility anymore. I crave judicial justice and responsible platform policies.

Next step: Treat every like as a potential threat. Log all IPs. Thank you for your engagement — it’ll be used against you in court. 🫶

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

A Line You Chose to Cross

A Statement in Response to Ongoing Defamation and Collective Silencing

I have remained silent for long enough.

This post is not about starting a fight. It is not an attempt to provoke, nor to harass, nor to escalate. It is a clear, public, and necessary response to the false claims and manipulative tactics that have been used against me in this community.

1. The "Autumn" Accusation: Constructing a Fictional Identity to Erase Me

I have been repeatedly accused of being “Autumn,” another user in this fandom with whom some of you have past conflicts. These accusations are not backed by verifiable proof—only by vague screenshots, unverifiable third-party messages, and emotionally charged guesswork.

Let me be clear:

The burden of proof lies with the accuser.

If you claim I am Autumn, it is your responsibility to provide concrete evidence—not mine to prove a negative. Until you do so, this accusation stands as what it is: a baseless narrative used to discredit me.

2. “Harassment” Without Contact: The Illogic of Silencing

Despite never messaging, tagging, or directly contacting the person in question, I’ve been labeled a harasser.

Let’s be honest: I post publicly, in my own space, with my name on every word. I have never invaded her inbox. I have never entered her social media circles. I do not chase, stalk, or provoke. All I’ve done is respond—logically, calmly, openly—to false claims made about me.

To call that “harassment” is not only dishonest—it’s absurd.

You block me, prevent me from speaking, then call my attempts to clarify “spamming.” You silence me, then say I’m too loud.

3. Weaponizing Mental Illness as a Silencing Tool

What’s more disturbing is the repeated use of psychiatric language to discredit me. Words like “mentally ill,” “unstable,” or “delusional” have been thrown at me as if they were proof of wrongdoing.

Meanwhile, I have never once used the other party’s neurodivergence or diagnoses against her. Not in insult, not in mockery, not even in defense.

This double standard is not accidental. It’s a tactic—a cruel and calculated one:

Label me as “dangerous,” and suddenly, anything I say becomes invalid. Discredit the speaker, and you never have to answer to the argument.

4. What I Am—and What I Am Not

I am not Autumn. I am not part of any Discord group other than hers. I have never participated in any Hakuouki-related project or fan circle. I write independently, speak under my own name, and have no hidden agenda.

If this independence threatens you, the problem isn’t me. The problem is the fragility of a structure that only functions when everyone inside stays obedient.

What you fear isn’t disruption. What you fear is someone outside your control saying something more precise, more painful, and more honest than any of you dared to say yourselves.

5. I Do Not Want Her Gone. I Want Her to Take Responsibility.

Let me make this clear again:

I have never demanded that she be silenced. I have never campaigned to get her blocked, banned, or isolated.

All I’ve ever asked is that she take responsibility—for spreading false claims, for encouraging defamatory narratives, for using collective silence as a weapon.

If she had apologized, I would have accepted it. But instead, I was blocked, ignored, erased.

6. Silence Is Not Neutral. It Is Complicity.

To those who remain silent while watching this happen— You are not “staying out of it.” You are standing by while someone is vilified for asking to be heard.

You call yourselves neutral, but you watch her accuse without proof, and say nothing. You see me ask for logic, and call it harassment. You stay silent because it’s easier. But silence doesn’t make you clean. It makes you part of the machine.

7. This Is the Line

I have been more patient than most would be.

But let this be said clearly:

If you continue to block me, accuse me without proof, and label my speech as dangerous while refusing to engage with it, then I will take that silence as confirmation of your intent to defame. And I will take it to the platforms where such behavior violates policy.

This is not a threat. This is a boundary. And you are very close to crossing it.

8. You Cannot Win by Erasing Me

You believe that if you ignore me long enough, I’ll go away.

You think if you frame me as irrational, unstable, or deluded, you’ll get to keep your moral high ground.

But you’re wrong.

I don’t want to disappear. I don’t want anyone else to disappear. I want the truth to be spoken, and the consequences to follow.

You don’t have to like me. You don’t even have to believe me. But you will not erase me.

And you will not rewrite my story without resistance.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

🧨Who Is the Real Beneficiary? — A Rebuttal to the Claim that "Kaoru Benefits More Than Chizuru"

Recently, I stumbled upon a take claiming that Kaoru is the beneficiary compared to Yukimura Chizuru. I couldn’t help but laugh—are we even watching the same Hakuouki?

This statement isn’t just absurd—it’s a symptom. It reveals how the fandom, and even the original narrative, consistently misreads, disciplines, and moralizes the presence of structurally marginalized characters like Kaoru. So here’s a systematic breakdown of why this claim is not only flawed but structurally violent.

I. The "Twin Mythos" Frame Romanticizes Kaoru’s Tragedy Into Submission

The post tries to frame Kaoru and Chizuru as mythic twins—Elrond & Elros, Izanami & Izanagi—emphasizing the doomed nature of divergence: “one must fall.”

But that’s the problem.

Kaoru was never a true twin. He was never given the same starting point. He was exiled, used, discarded, and ultimately annihilated. Wrapping his end in mythological fatalism romanticizes the structure that destroyed him. This isn’t symbolic tragedy—it’s erasure with pretty names.

II. Labeling Kaoru’s Rage as “Privileged Violence” Is an Inversion of Class Reality

The original claim suggests Kaoru, Kazama, and Sen are assertive because they come from power. Chizuru, by contrast, is supposedly just a powerless girl who survives through compliance.

Let’s be real.

What privilege does Kaoru have? He is cast out, hated by his own kind, reduced to a biological tool. His rage comes from being structurally discarded—not from standing at the top of any hierarchy.

Meanwhile, Chizuru is the inherited heir of the Yukimura name, a protected figure wrapped in narrative softness. If anyone enjoys the benefits of structural protection, it’s her.

III. “I Feel Sorry for Kaoru But—” Is the Language of Disciplinary Sympathy

Fandom loves to say:

“Kaoru’s pain is understandable, but he’s too aggressive.” “I feel bad for him, but he crossed a line.”

What you really mean is:

“I permit your pain—but only if it makes me feel superior.”

You want Kaoru to cry prettily, to die quietly, to exist within the limits of your moral expectations. You can only accept him as pitiful, not as self-possessed.

The moment Kaoru rejects Chizuru’s forgiveness, the moment he stops centering her… you panic. Because that’s the moment he becomes truly free—and that threatens your comfort.

IV. “Audience Identification” Is a Tool of Narrative Exclusion

The post says, “We’re placed in Chizuru’s shoes, so we understand her better.”

Yes, and that’s the problem.

That’s how narratives train audiences to abandon characters like Kaoru. You are encouraged to feel for the compliant girl, but not for the one who screams at the system. You get to feel normal, while Kaoru becomes a threat.

His grief is too chaotic, too impolite, too full of fire. So you label him a “villain.” But in truth—you just don’t want to see him.

V. You Only Accept Kaoru As Long As He Seeks Forgiveness from Chizuru

Here’s the kicker: The moment I try to imagine a Kaoru who does not beg for Chizuru’s understanding, you call it “OOC.” The moment I write a Kaoru who walks away from her gaze, you get uncomfortable. The moment he becomes a character who lives without her moral approval, you reject him.

But isn’t that the whole point?

Your reaction is the proof of my argument: You only allow Kaoru to exist as long as he fails, as long as he remains tethered to Chizuru, as long as he dies a sad little death in her moral shadow.

💥Conclusion: The Kaoru You’re Afraid Of Is the One Who Has Already Escaped You

Kaoru is not a beneficiary. He is a ghost born of systems that never wanted him whole. His rage is not an excess—it’s all he has left. And his death is not catharsis—it’s the cost of being the unaccepted one.

If you truly understood him, you’d know:

He was never asking to be saved. He was only asking to be seen.

And you— you refused.

By the way, let me tell you more about it:

“You liked my writing and then blocked me. That tells me everything.”

You agreed with my words—but not with my existence. You wanted the fire without getting burned, the critique without the disruptor. You saw what I said about Kaoru, and deep down, you knew it was true. But instead of engaging, you ran.

It’s easy to applaud radical thoughts as long as they don’t come from the person who actually lives them. But I’m not here to be safe. I’m not here to play nice. I’m here to say the things you were too afraid to say—and apparently, too afraid to read without hiding.

So thank you for the validation. Even your fear is a form of agreement.

You blocked me first—then pretended to welcome rational character discourse. Isn’t that a bit… unsightly?

You can’t screen out the person and keep the ideas. You can’t claim to love critique while silencing the one who wrote it. If you had real confidence in your position, you wouldn’t need to curate your feed so carefully.

Let’s not pretend this is about “interpretation.” It’s about control. About discomfort. You didn’t like what I said—not because it was wrong, but because it unsettled the tidy little narrative that kept you safe.

Block all you like. But don’t pretend you’re here for discussion.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

“The Edo Woman” Is Not a Symbol of Freedom, but a Fantasy Construct: A Response to the Apologist Discourse on Yukimura Chizuru

Disclaimer: This post is written in response to a circulating essay that claims Yukimura Chizuru represents a historically grounded “Edo Woman” figure. While I welcome historical discussion, this piece critiques the ideological implications of such a claim—not to target fans or invalidate preferences, but to examine the structural mechanisms embedded in character design and narrative. Please read the post in full before reacting. Selective quoting may lead to misrepresentation.

I. Introduction: This is not a debate—it’s ideological suppression in disguise

Recently, an essay has circulated defending Yukimura Chizuru, the heroine of Hakuouki, portraying her as the embodiment of the “Edo Woman”—a gentle, clever female figure who allegedly symbolizes the resilience and subtle agency of women living under patriarchal structures in the Edo period.

The essay suggests that our criticism of Chizuru—as a character lacking subjectivity and serving male fantasy—is historically inaccurate and intellectually unfair.

Let me be clear: this is not a neutral historical analysis. It is an ideologically motivated attempt to aestheticize oppression, to silence structural critique, and to repackage compliance as complexity. We are not attacking female vulnerability—we are exposing the violence of dressing obedience in the language of freedom.

II. Chizuru is not an “Edo Woman”—she is a protected daughter of the medical elite

To call her an “Edo Woman” is historically inaccurate. Chizuru is the daughter of a Rangaku (Dutch-style) physician—a member of the medical-intellectual middle class in Edo society. This already sets her far apart from the urban working-class women the essay attempts to evoke.

She is raised in safety, surrounded by education and privacy. Multiple moments in the anime and game imply she is rarely allowed outside and lacks basic orientation skills—she gets lost easily, doesn’t know the city layout, and becomes visibly flustered in public spaces. This is not a woman accustomed to navigating society. This is a girl who has lived her life shielded from the very world she is supposed to represent.

More importantly, Chizuru’s actions are never her own. She does not initiate investigations, claim power, or confront systems. She is carried by the narrative, always reacting to the decisions of others. Her docility is not her “strategy”—it is her function as a romantic object.

III. The “Edo Woman” trope is not a symbol of agency

The apologist essay insists that Edo-period women were not passive—that they had their own social intelligence and means of resistance. This is a dangerously romanticized reading of a heavily oppressive system.

Historically, Edo women were bound by strict patriarchal codes—legal, economic, and cultural. Marriage, inheritance, property ownership, and mobility were all restricted. The Onna Daigaku (Greater Learning for Women), buke shohatto (samurai laws), and the seven conditions for divorce (including being talkative or jealous) were clear mechanisms of structural control.

Even in merchant households, women’s “activity” was largely a form of labor substitution, not freedom of participation. And regionally, cities like Kyoto or Osaka often granted women more rights in family and property management—Edo was not a progressive exception, but the symbolic center of Tokugawa control.

The trope of the “Edo Woman” as clever and adaptive is not an example of freedom. It is a survival tactic under domination, later reimagined as aesthetic.

IV. Chizuru’s “gentle strength” is not complexity—it’s controlled compliance

Chizuru is not a historical subject. She is a carefully engineered fantasy projection within the otome game structure.

She is:

docile but not brainless;

assertive only in small doses;

incapable of genuine defiance;

always orbiting the strongest male figure in the room.

She exists not to disrupt the system, but to fulfill it. Her “agency” is confined to choosing which man she obeys most willingly.

This is not character complexity. It is a fiction of controlled freedom, one designed to soothe rather than challenge.

Fantasy does not exist in a vacuum. On the contrary, it is often the most fertile ground for ideology. When a female character is written to appear autonomous while remaining structurally submissive, this is not empowerment—it is a rehearsal of obedience in the language of romance.

V. Conclusion: We are not misunderstanding the character—we are exposing the cost of your fantasy

Those who defend Chizuru by invoking historical nuance are not protecting history. They are protecting the fantasy. They celebrate her softness while ignoring her silence; they accuse us of being too radical while refusing to confront the real question:

Why is your favorite kind of woman always the one who listens just enough, but never too much?

We are not asking her to be loud, aggressive, or revolutionary. We are simply refusing to accept a narrative where a woman’s most lovable trait is her unthreatening passivity.

Chizuru is not the woman who survives the system. She is the woman written by it.

[ygpgsgl-public-records-only]

You Can Erase a Tag, But Not 400,000 Words

A short reminder for those trying to rewrite history.

As of 10:30 p.m. JST on July 8, 2025

I have six subscribers. 151 kudos. 42 comment threads. 18 bookmarks. 409,814 words.

This is not the footprint of someone who “only shows up to cause drama.” This is the record of a writer. A creator. A person who worked, reworked, revised, posted, got up the next day and wrote again — long before you decided I was a problem.

You want to define me by someone else’s name. You want to flatten me into a label that makes your narrative easier. You want me gone, because if I stay, you’d have to admit I exist outside your control.

So you ignore what I write. You refuse to read the statement where I distanced myself from Autumn. You pretend not to see the receipts, the context, the full story. You accuse me of things I never said, and block me before I can respond.

You think if you say "she’s just unhinged,” it’ll invalidate the 40 chapters I wrote with care. You think if you call me a troll, nobody will see the care I gave to character, language, nuance. You think if you speak loud enough, my work will disappear.

But the numbers are still there. The archive doesn't lie. Every hit, every comment, every kudos — they are witnesses. Not of popularity. But of presence.

I am here. I have been here. I am not a shadow of someone else. I am not your scapegoat. And I will not disappear because it makes things more convenient for you.

So if this is about control, say so. If this is about power, admit it. But don’t dress your erasure in the language of “safety.” Don’t pretend your silencing is kindness. Because this — this is not about safety. This is about rewriting history. And I’m here to say: Not on my watch.

Click the link to view my experience