petrovanity - Tumblr blog

[petrovanity]

Marina Tsvetaeva, tr. by Elaine Feinstein from, “No one has taken anything away.”

[petrovanity]

❦      STEFAN SALVATORE

innocence. that was the secret to stefan’s kindness, particularly towards the woman he found himself beginning to fall in love with. where perhaps some other men might have been able to spot katherine’s red flags ( her narcissism, the selfishness, ) stefan only saw someone who was open to all the affection he had to offer. he saw a woman who looked at him like he mattered; someone who could think for herself and what she thought was that he was worth her time. “good. you know i’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy, don’t you?” they hadn’t known each other long, but he meant it and it showed in his lovestruck gaze and smile. “am i happy in this very spot? i’m ok. though i could be happier somewhere more intimate…” he flirted back.

somewhere else? stefan arched a brow, taking her comment as nothing more than a joke. he was just as blinded by his feelings for his family as he was for his towards her. by no means was being a salvatore perfect, but he tried every day to make them proud. he was happy if they were happy. “and where do you think that place would be? if you could take me anywhere else in the world, where would that be?”

“hmm, i think you’d like   chicago, london, paris...   places with history.”     and plenty of debauchery to pull stefan into, though katherine won’t admit that  just yet.  first, she has to appeal to his interests — then she can con him into hers.       “haven’t you ever thought about exploring?”       her hand traces down his chest; a sharp nail down his collarbone, his sternum until it rests over his heart. 

her big curls bounce playfully with every naughty tilt of her head.      “there’s a whole world out there,  stefan, and it’s just waiting for us —  come with me.  everywhere.      there will be plenty of places to be intimate along the way...”      katherine leans in, doe eyes shrouded by thick, dark lashes. just as she’s about to kiss his lips, she diverts to his cheek.      “come with me,”      she tempts again.  this time, she won’t have to be alone.

[petrovanity]

This is my daughter. In the picture, she’s 6, but she’s 11 now. She lived in Santa Barbara, but they moved. I don’t know where. But I know her name is Hannah. And she likes pigs. She collects them, like figurines or stuffed animals, you know? I think it’s because her mom read her “Charlotte’s Web”. Look, I know that where we come from, this kind of thing doesn’t get talked about. But I wanted you to know that there’s more than one way to be a good mother. I wanted better for her than I could do at 16.

GREYS ANATOMY (2005—) | 2.15 “Break On Through”

[petrovanity]

she remembers him: new to town from chicago with a leather jacket and killer hair.  she and her friends had been talking about him all week   —   at sixteen, there wasn’t much else to fixate on   —   but before katerina could as much as say  ‘hello,’  he was chasing after that  rory girl  with single-minded determination. not only did the town’s beloved go to a private school, but she even got her boyfriend to  build her a car.

dean used to seem blissful:  always a half-smile and a good natured comment. a positive energy that matched their giddy small town. recently, though, he’s seemed irritable. exhausted. insecure. the town had started to whisper about him again; everyone in lorelai’s tight network wanted to know what was going on with  ‘rory’s boy.’

only, he isn’t rory’s boy anymore — at least not the  only one.  the blue-eyed princess had found herself attracted to someone else:  a dark bad boy  who crashes her car and gives a big  fuck you  to everyone he meets.      personally, katerina has always preferred the good guys:  they’re so much fun to corrupt      (and they never leave her or sound like her father).

when she finally sees the chance to get dean alone, she takes it without hesitation. she sits down by his side with a loving hand on his back and a concerned expression: "what's wrong?" ever the master of perception, katerina goes to work. and maybe she does want to help him, too, so long as there's no personal cost.

He’s usually better than this. Stronger than this…But tonight? He couldn’t be. Couldn’t take the crushing weight of all of his emotions weighing down with such intensity that he felt robbed of air. It was like Dean could feel his lungs screaming for air yet no amount of inhaling could breath life back into desperate lungs. Without him even realizing it tears had become spilling down his cheeks, crystalline liquid dripping down onto his shirt and jacket. The night air chilled his cheeks but even chillier was his heart. At one time warmth resided there but now it was just a raw gaping hole. Or that was how he described what it felt like. He’d tried for so long to do his best, to be something worth loving, someone worth loving. But in the end he had failed.  Could he have done more? Tried harder? Been smarter? These and many more questions ran through his mind as the soft sniffles and whimpers left the now broken late teen. Dean knew it must all seem dramatic but right now..? His heart was broken. To give all of himself to someone and then have them choose someone else, it just hurt. But he didn’t blame Rory. Hell, he didn’t even blame Jess.  He just…blamed himself in entirety. For not being good enough to be kept around. His mind was getting foggy, the intensity of his sadness only growing to the point of rendering him thoughtless. His vision was slightly blurry from the tears so he attempted to wipe them away but they were only replaced by more. Even so Dean just decided to keep walking, as if moving enough would allow him to escape this overwhelming sense of pain.

[petrovanity]

❦ "I LACK NOTHING. I ONLY NEEDED MYSELF," from @nikl3us

and the blood of an innocent girl, she thinks bitterly. ( I'M ONLY SEVENTEEN, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ! ) her betrothed became her nemesis overnight and five hundred years later, she still can't escape his burning touch. niklaüs mikaelsøn, the most evil creature to have ever lived! her equally forgotten name, miss katerina petrova, has been at the top of his hit list for centuries ( succeeded only by dear old dad; at least katherine can sympathize with that ).

after weeks of self-torture, flinching every time klaus takes a step, katerina grows numb to her own fear. the little girl she becomes when he's near — ( KATERINA! IT'S POINTLESS TO RUN. KLAUS WILL FIND YOU WHEREVER YOU ARE! ) — begins to recede back into the ever-cynical katherine. ( LIVING OUT OF A SUITCASE IS BETTER THAN DYING, ) but dying might be better than this: weeks upon weeks locked in alaric saltzman's creepy history teacher apartment with some weird little witches and klaus's sadistic whims. at least katherine didn't have to stab herself today.

"and a doppelganger, witch, vampire, werewolf, moonstone..." katherine mutters to herself. klaus's 'true self' sure requires a lot of ingredients...

[petrovanity]

❦    NINA ZENIK,   @lovetold​

                katherine was a beauty.     tainted with tragedy,     but somehow,     that had only made her grow even more beautiful.     nina would’ve been a fool not to see it,     everyone did.       head tilts as she watches the textbook.     fighting back a groan,      already bored with the task ahead.       “     are we supposed to study without snacks  ?     there must have a snack lair somewhere.      ”        looking around her kitchen with a perked brow.

“ i could go for some waffles. ”      she quirks her brow at nina, a sly smiling disguising her hunt for a reaction. katherine is nothing if not observant   —   ( always looking for something to bend to her will; a loophole to exploit to get her way )  —   and the way to nina zenik’s heart?      snacks, specifically waffles.      of course  she has them provided.

katherine bends over to open her family’s freezer with dramatic flair.      “ pick your poison. ”      pick me! my ass looks great from this angle!

[petrovanity]

franz kafka starters

WARNINGS: MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, IMPLIED DEPRESSION feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !

❛   i am a cage, in search of a bird.  ❜  

❛   don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical.  ❜  

❛   don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion.  ❜  

❛   follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.  ❜  

❛   youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty.  ❜  

❛   anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.  ❜  

❛   i write differently from what i speak.  ❜  

❛   i speak differently from what i think.  ❜  

❛   i cannot make you understand.  ❜  

❛   i cannot even explain it to myself.  ❜  

❛   i cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me.  ❜  

❛   a first sign of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die.  ❜  

❛   the meaning of life is that it stops.  ❜  

❛   all language is but a poor translation.  ❜  

❛   remain sitting at your table and listen.  ❜  

❛   do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary.  ❜  

❛   it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.  ❜  

❛   the nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.  ❜  

❛   slept, awoke, slept, awoke, miserable life.  ❜  

❛   i have the true feeling of myself only when i am unbearably unhappy.  ❜  

❛   paths are made by walking.  ❜  

❛   i can’t think of any greater happiness than to be with you all the time.  ❜  

❛   it’s because of their stupidity that they’re able to be so sure of themselves.  ❜  

❛   there is an infinite amount of hope in the universe … but not for us.  ❜  

❛   he is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn’t yet lived.  ❜  

❛   i have spent all my life resisting the desire to end it.  ❜  

❛   i usually solve problems by letting them devour me.  ❜  

❛   i am in chains. don’t touch my chains.  ❜  

❛   i never wish to be easily defined.  ❜  

❛   start with what is right rather than what is acceptable.  ❜  

❛   love is, that you are the knife which i plunge into myself.  ❜  

❛   i miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly.  ❜  

❛   now i can look at you in peace; i don’t eat you any more.  ❜  

❛   better to have, and not need, than to need, and not have.  ❜  

❛   you are at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart.  ❜  

❛   i’m tired, can’t think of anything and want only to lay my face in your lap.  ❜  

❛   they say ignorance is bliss… they’re wrong.  ❜  

❛   in man’s struggle against the world, bet on the world.  ❜  

❛   in a way, you are poetry material.  ❜  

❛   you are full of cloudy subtleties i am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out.  ❜  

❛   may i kiss you then?  ❜  

❛   you can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world.  ❜  

❛   that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature.  ❜  

❛   perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.  ❜  

❛   beyond a certain point there is no return. this point has to be reached.  ❜  

❛   people label themselves with all sorts of adjectives.  ❜  

❛   i can only pronounce myself as ‘nauseatingly miserable beyond repair’.  ❜  

❛   love is a drama of contradictions.  ❜  

❛   i’m even losing my name, it was getting shorter & shorter all the time & is now: yours  ❜

❛   first impressions are always unreliable.  ❜  

❛   if i shall exist eternally, how shall i exist tomorrow?  ❜  

❛   evil is whatever distracts.  ❜  

❛   what do you know of the griefs that are in me and what do i know of yours?  ❜  

❛   how about if i sleep a little bit longer and forget all this nonsense?  ❜  

❛   kill me, or you are a murderer.  ❜  

❛   last night i dreamed about you.  ❜  

❛   what am i doing here in this endless winter?  ❜  

❛   if you become involved with me, you will be throwing yourself into the abyss.  ❜

❛   my guiding principle is this: guilt is never to be doubted.  ❜  

❛   i am dirty, endlessly dirty, that is why i make such a fuss about cleanliness.  ❜  

❛   please — consider me a dream.  ❜  

❛   i can love only what i can place so high above me that i cannot reach it.  ❜  

❛   i’m doing badly, i’m doing well, whichever you prefer.  ❜  

❛   for myself i am too heavy, and for you too light.  ❜  

❛   it certainly was not my intention to make you suffer.  ❜  

❛   you can choose to be free , but it’s last decision you’ll ever make.  ❜  

❛   even if no salvation should come, i want to be worthy of it at every moment.  ❜  

❛   he was a tool of the boss, without brains or backbone.  ❜  

❛   if i could drown in sleep as i drown in fear i would be no longer alive.  ❜  

❛   i lack nothing. i only needed myself.  ❜  

❛   i long for you; i who usually longs without longing, as though i am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy.  ❜  

❛   i really, utterly long for every bit of you.  ❜  

❛   even the merest gesture is holy if it is filled with faith.  ❜  

❛   you misinterpret everything, even the silence.  ❜  

❛   you must not pay too much attention to opinions.  ❜  

❛   i only fear danger where i want to fear it.  ❜  

❛   nor is it perhaps really love when i say that for me you are the most beloved.  ❜  

❛   in this love you are like a knife, with which i explore myself.  ❜  

❛   i like to make use of what i know  ❜  

[petrovanity]

stefan salvatore was a romantic.     as a boy, he lost himself in stories and make believe. ideas that no matter how horrible life got, there’d eventually be someone to save him from the darkness that seemed to follow him as a salvatore. as he grew, the idea evolved but never left. he got teased for not chasing after girls as if it were sport like his brother and his friends did. instead he waited, determined that someday a girl would come along who’d make everything fall into place. katherine pierce was not that girl. she spun his world entirely, leaving him dizzy, and confused, and desperate for more. more than that? he was happy. all stefan ever thought he wanted was a calm and controlled life, but chaos with her made him feel so full.    “you’re beautiful,”    he repeated with ease, sneaking in a kiss just to her cheek. innocent.   “you are absolutely beautiful,”    next his hand brushed against her hip as he leaned in a bit closer.    “need me to keep going? because i will. complimenting you has easily become a hobby for me.”    he smiled at her finally, gently and lovingly as he took in her own expression.    “are you happy here?”    a random question, though not uncharacteristic for someone like stefan. at his highest he still needed to know his partner was ok.     “you’ve been in town for a while, and everyone’s certainly happy you’re here. but are you?”

[petrovanity]

put  a  (  ✒  )  in  my  ask  and  i  will  write  you  a  random  starter  based  on  any  of  the  below  tropes:   ship  edition.

love  at  first  sight.

friends  to  lovers. 

enemies  to  lovers. 

forbidden  love. 

love  potion. 

married  in  vegas.  

childhood  friends. 

love  triangle. 

already  taken  (  pining.  )

unrequited  love. 

secret  love. 

boss / employee. 

nerd / jock. 

partners  in  crime.  

using  this  randomizer  i  will  choose  the  trope  or  alternatively  you  can  send  one  of  your  own  choosing. 

[petrovanity]

last of us (show) starters

ep1-4. to be updated with each episode.

❝ your t-shirt’s inside out. ❞ ❝ you already know i’m bad at lying. ❞ ❝ i need you to take a breath. ❞ ❝ i never liked you, but still, it’s like we’re friends. almost. ❞ ❝ we’re gonna be brave, and we’re gonna get out of this. ❞ ❝ can’t tell you how exciting it was listening to that fucking conversation. ❞ ❝ there you are. i was getting worried. ❞ ❝ this isn’t gonna end well. ❞ ❝ we can help each other. and get that gun out of my face. ❞ ❝ i think i’m gonna love you for a long, long time. ❞ ❝ there’s stuff up there you shouldn’t see. ❞ ❝ you ask a lot of goddamn questions ❞ ❝ i mean…our luck had to run out sooner or later. ❞ ❝ like to think, for once, we could finally win? ❞ ❝ i mean, it’s the long way or the ‘we’re fucking dead’ way. ❞ ❝ you mumble in your sleep. ❞ ❝ no. no questions. just do it. ❞ ❝ nobody’s gonna be coming after you, right? ❞ ❝ you stay close and you follow my lead. ❞ ❝ it’s a miracle you’re alive. ❞ ❝ it doesn’t matter. you have to trust me. ❞ ❝ you know, people like to tell stories. ❞ ❝ you have a greater purpose than any of us could’ve ever imagined. ❞ ❝ how about we start with ‘thank you’? ❞ ❝ i’d like to go home and drink ‘til my face stops hurting. ❞ ❝ i want you to forget this ever happened. ❞ ❝ you can’t be stupid like this. ❞ ❝ if we come up against anything, you get behind me and you stay there, okay? ❞ ❝ i’m trying to keep you alive. ❞ ❝ that’s not my fucking home. ❞ ❝ i don’t want your sorries. ❞ ❝ don’t blame me for something that isn’t my fault. ❞ ❝ oh, finally, some fucking luck. ❞ ❝ no more questions about me. ❞ ❝ you want your jacket back? ❞ ❝ fuck you, man. i didn’t ask for this. ❞ ❝ besides, it’s the thought that counts. ❞ ❝ wasn’t my fault this time. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry, but this has gone on too long. ❞ ❝ i’ve had…more good days with you than with anyone else. ❞ ❝ i need you to take a breath. ❞ ❝ can we start a fire? i’m freezing. ❞ ❝ the darkness is falling, the sky has turned gray. ❞ ❝ matter of fact, we can just keep our histories to ourselves. ❞ ❝ you stay here. you hear anything, yell. ❞ ❝ what do you want me to say? ❞ ❝ are you okay? you’re not hurt? nothing? ❞ ❝ there’s no way anyone knows we’re here, right? ❞ ❝ you do what i say when i say it. we clear? ❞ ❝ where would you be without me, huh? ❞ ❝ i’ve been on both sides. ❞ ❝ let’s just handle what we have to handle. ❞ ❝ is it everything you hoped for? ❞ ❝ it doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope, it will always be stationary. ❞ ❝ you hungry? you can share some of mine. ❞ ❝ have i committed a crime? ❞ ❝ i don’t wanna talk about it. ❞ ❝ i’m alone and forsaken by fate and by man. ❞ ❝ here. this make you all nostalgic? ❞ ❝ you keep your eyes on me. and don’t look anywhere else. ❞ ❝ i know this hurts. you’re gonna be okay. ❞ ❝ you think i’ve never done shit like that? ❞ ❝ it isn’t fair, your age…having to deal with all of this. ❞ ❝ i was never afraid before you showed up. ❞ ❝ we did what we needed to survive. ❞ ❝ when do we tell the others? ❞ ❝ i would very much like for you to hurt them. ❞ ❝ what i’m about to tell you cannot be repeated to anyone. ❞ ❝ they’re gonna catch us if we don’t run. ❞ ❝ well, i…i don’t know how to swim. ❞ ❝ i wasn’t gonna say i’m sorry. i was gonna say that i’ve been thinking about what happened. ❞ ❝ how about you just take the good news? ❞ ❝ god help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. ❞ ❝ you stay down, you stay low, you stay quiet. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t have had to. i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ did you kill innocent people? ❞ ❝ when we were talking about hurting people…what did you mean it wasn’t your first time? ❞ ❝ looks different in the daylight, huh? ❞

[petrovanity]

❦      STEFAN SALVATORE,    for @brokenbrxther​

"the only criminal thing here is the distance between us." an arm wrapped loosely around his partner's small waist, bringing her in as close as he could without causing a scene. salvatore family events were meant to be the definition of class and elegance; stefan and katherine making out in a corner would have certainly caused some heads to turn. still, eyes on them or not, stefan couldn't bare the idea of being much further apart than they were at the moment. "have i mentioned that you look breathtaking tonight?" he smiled, fighting the urge to glance back at her lips again.

she’s a revolution, his own  manic pixie dream girl –      ( “who needs rules?” )      – and mystic falls would be  scandalized  if they were smart enough to catch on. katherine pierce does not abide by their small town mentality and it’s been all too easy to peel off stefan’s blinders and show him the big, boisterous world that awaits a man of his talents. she is his vixen, his kryptonite, his selfish hope. but he challenges her, too:

( “no touching, mr. salvatore. those are the rules.” “i thought you didn’t believe in rules.” )

she treasures her little facades.      she will test them, but she will never discard them completely. stefan? when his wild side takes over, he’s unrestrained. he’s both kind  and  captivating; her own destructive habits make that a new combination for her.      “not nearly enough,”      katherine taunts,   “you should say it again.”   so she can get high off his praise and feel like she’s worth something.  if her own father found her unlovable, why should strangers feel any differently? no, the men who adore her only do so because they don’t know her yet. once her enigma wears away, she’ll be alone again. it’s easier to stay alone in the first place with mere  playthings  to keep her company...  though the more time she spends with stefan, the harder it is to suppress her budding feelings...

[petrovanity]

i’ve been thinking a lot about the concepts of “no humanity” and “no emotions” in tvd and how people who turn off their humanity are usually incredibly destructive, impulsive, and glib. they aren’t really emotionless because they have a lot of negativity and resentment. they are ambivalent to the suffering they cause but they are not ambivalent to others’ attempts to change them; they are very protective of their new state even if it is not something they chose for themselves (like elena).

it got me thinking – what if that’s what “true vampirism” is? like shutting off your humanity is literally shutting off the “human” parts of you that make you thrive as a part of a social species (like craving connection, acts of service, etc), the parts of you that you carried over after death. when you shut off your “humanity,” all that’s left is your “vampirism.”

and by comparison, vampires are a solitary species. they live alone and feed alone. they’re powerful enough that they don’t need each other to survive. their nature is to be individualistic and to take what they want when they want it. anyone who gets in their way is a threat that needs to be scared off (much like an animal scaring a competitor away from a food source or an animal being territorial). anyone who threatens their lifestyle and vampiric needs is seen as threatening their life and that’s why humanity-less vampires are so vicious towards those who try to re-instate their humanity.

the switch disappears as they get older because their vampirism merges with (or overpowers) their humanity over time.

[petrovanity]

AVA GARDNER & ROBERT WALKER in ONE TOUCH OF VENUS — 1948, dir. William A. Seiter

[petrovanity]

[Verse 1] Well, I'm perfection when it comes to first impressions / Well, I romanticize and then I get to stressin' / Big brain like I'm teachin' it a lesson / Baby, it's a blessin', yeah / You got me thinkin' that I was too mean / Well, everything that I say, I believe / Tuck a knife with my heart up my sleeve / And change like a season, reason for nothin' / I am disruptive, I've been corrupted / And by now, I don't need a fuckin' introduction / I been gone 'cause I been on this road too long / You know...

[Chorus] You know I get too caught up in a moment / I can't call it love if I show it / I just fuck things up if you noticed / Have you noticed? Tell me, have you noticed? [x2]

[Verse 2] Now, I'm wonderin' if I ever wanted to hold you / It never mattered if I owned you / 'Cause you'd let anybody with a body control you / And you know it too / You got me feelin' like I been too mean / And everything that I say, I believe / Tuck a knife with my heart up my sleeve / And fuck like a demon, do it like nothin' / I am disgustin', I've been corrupted / And by now, I don't need no help to be destructive / I been gone, yeah, I been on this road too long [Chorus]

[Outro] The more that you give away / The more that you have / More that you give away / More that you have / The more that you give away / The more that you have, the more that they take / (More that you have, the more that they take)

[petrovanity]

1492 || 1864 / Modern times requested by anon

[petrovanity]

[petrovanity]

#PETROVANITY:  RULES AND IMPORTANT INFORMATION

my portrayal is show based with book knowledge. established 2014.

author: my name is katherine/kat and i am 21+ years old

writing: this blog is independent and exclusive. i am not affiliated with any groups and i will only interact with mutuals.

behavior: reblog karma aka send an ask before reblogging a meme. this applies to reblogging from me or the source. please be patient with replies and messages as my response time does not indicate my investment in the plot.

shipping: katherine is an easy muse to ship with, so if you want to give it a try just let me know! flings are easiest. deep romances are rare.

triggers: triggering themes will be present as katherine is a violent vampire with a troubled past. i do not tag anything that is present in the show; it is expected that those themes will be present  (with the exception being sexual assault. that will be tagged if present, but it is not something i want to explore).  if you would like something tagged, you must message me directly. anonymous asks do not count.

if you do not want to see a specific actor then you should use tumblr’s filtering system to block popular fandom tags. example: for ian somerhalder, block “damon salvatore,” “damonedit,” and “damonsalvatoreedit.” if you would like my original content tagged, you must message me directly. anonymous asks do not count.

see my portrayal notes here (imperative for S4+)

please reach out with any questions so that i know what to elaborate on!