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A 2009 dream

Warnings: mild angst, some crying, mostly fluff

Pairing: Phan (um duh this is a Phan blog)

Word count: over

Dan looked out at the view. His vision was hazy from tiredness (he’d been on a train that morning and he’d gotten up early) and his legs lightly shook from adrenaline and fright. When Phil had told him he was showing him around Manchester, he didn’t really consider the fact that Phil would be taken him on the Manchester Eye. But Phil was right about the view: it was breathtaking, the pinks, blues and slight purples in the sky a backdrop for the city’s soft lull of lights and busy hum of traffic. Of life.

But nothing was more breathtaking to Dan than the boy who sat next to him, his knee touching his own lightly. His dream, his crush, his everything for what felt like forever. The person he thought he’d only ever be able to see through this laptop screen, his voice only heard through the scratchy speakers. But he was here, the jet black hair ready for Dan to touch, the soft pale skin ready for Dan to roam. His heart lurched as they moved slightly higher on the wheel: they were at the top now.

Dan turned himself slightly, so he was half facing Phil, half facing the amazing sunset around them. Dan nervously laced his fingers together, lightly bobbing his leg up and down as a nervous pulse of energy rushed through him. Phil looked at him, amused.

“I can hear you thinking,” Phil said, giggling while tapping Dan’s forehead, his tongue just lightly sticking from the side of his mouth. Dan looked away from the sunset to quickly skim his eyes over Phil.

Phil’s hair didn’t look as smooth as Dan’s, but the messy parts that stuck out made Dan smile- it was such a Phil thing. Phil’s skin was glowing slightly in the light of the setting sun, his eyes nearly transparent because they’re THAT blue. His smirk transformed his face from geeky and cute to hot and alluring. Dan felt blood rush to his cheeks, and he flicked his gaze away. He was contemplating... but no, he couldn’t... right? He wasn’t sure if Phil was on the same page as him.

Dan subconciously angled his body to face Phil as he stared at the sunset, then at his feet. His cheeks were still alarmingly warm, and he didn’t want Phil to see him as a blushing mess- it was almost always Dan who made Phil blush. Dan was always the one teasing, not the teased, and he didn’t want to change that.

Another light tap on his forehead sent his thoughts scurrying except for one. Phil was all he could think, see and smell.

“What’s wrong, Bear?” Phil said lightly, implementing Dan’s childhood nickname.

“I asked you not to call me that anymoooreee,” Dan whined, lifting his gaze a little to meet Phil’s eyes. Phil was quite a bit closer now.

Dan’s cheeks got impossibly redder.

It’s not like Dan and Phil haven’t talked about kissing before. They’d both shared their first kiss stories before, their recent kisses (neither had any really recent ones anyway), and their fantasy kisses, reserved for celebrities and cute strangers. They’d even occasionally talked about kissing each other.

The wheel once again moved, and they were slightly lower. The sun could only reach Phil’s hair now, because most of it was right on Dan’s back. Dan was looking at Phil’s lips. He couldn’t rip his gaze away, even if he wanted to.

“Dan, are you okay, though?” Phil said softly. Dan was mesmerised by the way Phil’s lips were moving so beautifully, so deliciously. They were pink and looked softer than silk. Dan wouldn’t mind finding out just how smooth they were.

Dan finally looked up from Phil’s lips to his eyes. Dan saw a mixture of emotions he couldn’t exactly place dancing in the light blues, greens and yellows in Phil’s eyes.

“I...” Dan looked down. Looking at Phil’s eyes and lips were both equally intimidating right now, and Dan wasn’t exactly the best with awkward social settings. “I don’t know,” he finally mumbled, forcing himself to look up at Phil.

Woah.

Phil had gotten even closer. Dan didn’t know it was possible to, but Phil had done it.

But the closeness didn’t make Dan nervous like it usually would’ve. Because this was Phil.

“I-I um,” Phil mumbled, his breath puffing over Dan’s face - it smelled really good, like peppermint or something-, “can I kiss you?”

Dan was about to reply when the wheel once again moved, startling them both. Dan instinctively placed his hands on Phil’s shoulders, and Phil wrapped his hands around Dan’s waist.

After the moment of fright had passed, both noticed their position. For the first time, Phil blushed, and Dan stared in awe at the delicious pink colour of Phil’s skin, his lips.

Phil had given consent... kind of.

Well, kind of doesn’t matter.

Dan pushed his lips into Phil’s, moving his hands from Phil’s shoulders to his cheeks. Phil’s grip around Dan’s waist tightened as the two found a rhythm. They continued to kiss as the sun set and the wheel moved...

Dan sat up in bed, Phil’s arm that was loosely wrapped around his waist toppling down and landing awkwardly over Phil. Dan’s eyes were glossy with tears, and before he knew it he was sobbing.

Phil opened his eyes to the sound of sobs. He could see a blurry figure in the morning sun. The figure was sobbing.

“Dan?” Phil mumbled, reaching over to grab his glasses. As soon as they were on he looked over at his boyfriend of nearly 10 years. He was shirtless, his curly hair sticking out, his hands over his eyes and his body shaking as he sobbed.

Phil, worried, gently hugged Dan and whispered, “bad dream, Bear?”

Upon hearing the fond nickname, Dan seemed to sob even harder.

“No, no it was a perfect dream,” Dan said, smiling through his cries. Phil smiled through his confusion. “Then why the tears?” Phil asked hesitantly.

“Because... well... I don’t really know! It’s just the Eye is gone and that was our first kiss and it was so amazing and you looked so pretty in the Sun and”-

“Dan!” Phil said, his voice still soft, yet firm.

Dan looked up, his sobs now tiny sniffles. Phil smiled warmly. Even at 6 am with bed head, no shirt on and a tear-stricken face, Dan was unmistakenably beautiful. And he was Phil’s.

“Dan, you know that even if that wheel is gone, even if all of the places where we have had kisses and special moments goes, it doesn’t matter Dan because we’re still here and we’re still together and I’m not going to disappear.”

Dan looked up from his tears. Even though it was so early Dan was hyper aware that Phil was close to him, his arm around him, his breath puffing lightly on his skin - how was it possible that even his morning breath smelt fresh?- and his morning quiff was perched so perfectly on his head.

Then Dan’s eyes wandered from Phil’s face to his amazing lips, those he kissed on the Manchester Eye all those years ago.

And that was what made Dan lean in and close the gap between his lips and Phil’s.

This was so bad but man I tried.

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“I think it’s easier to be on bottom there.”

“He said it.”

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EXCUSE ME WHILST I LAUNCH MYSELF OFF A CLIFF

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Dan and Phil - Giving The People What They Want

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my favorite part of 2018 has been phil finally figuring out that he’s A Whole Fucking Meal™ and not being afraid to show that off sometimes, and pairing it perfectly with the humor and quirkiness that we have always loved him for. wow. i love a Man.    

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This Day in Dan & Phil History - April 20

2011 - wtf

2012 -  #peeniss

2014 - sexual tension on the radio show

2014 - happy 420

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mood

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‪Dan and Phil who? I only know Phil and Phil! 🤔‬ @amazingphil @danielhowell

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The fact that Dan immediately disregarded the idea of a different universe not containing him with Phil makes my heart warm.