phantastus

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reblog for easter

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– David Lynch, Dark Deep Darkness (2009)

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one day the sadness will end

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holy shit i made it into the live studio audience for sue's new years show tonight will take lots of pics!!!

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the curve

somehow ive found myself in a position where folks come to chuck in times of strife for encouragement. lets get the big part of this conversation out of the way LOVE IS STILL REAL and that is the thing to remember. that north star remains. today there is more to talk about though

existence pushes towards love community and freedom, because CREATION is what we were built to do and creation thrives with these things as fuel. IT GETS BETTER. LOVE IS REAL. however this change comes in up and down waves. its not a straight line and should not be expected to be

some of these waves are short and small, and some of the slopes are years or decades long. there is no mincing words here, we are entering a massive downward wave. the implications are huge and it is okay to mourn that. FEEL THOSE FEELINGS. it is an important part of the ride

the most telling sign post on our slope is this: tromp won the popular vote (or likely will when the votes are done). we can talk POLITICAL STRATEGY all day about electoral college or who should court the center or the left and on and on but ultimately THIS is the real story

to me it signals a TRUE cultural shift. likely conservatives will have presidency, senate, house, and supreme court. WHAT A GIANT SLOPE. HOLD THE HECK ON because we will be riding it for a while, deep into the pit of the void. hold your buds tight, prove love at the local level

but heres the thing, MASSIVE waves have happened before. theyll happen again. mind numbing slopes into the abyss and great soaring leaps into the sky. in fact the inertia almost ALWAYS causes them to happen right after each other. hippies or punks back in the day, buckaroos now

politically we were trapped in a basically fifty fifty trot for a long time, but it was not always like this (just look at old election maps what the heck). to be honest, tromps map looks like one of those old maps right now. and DANG did COUNTER MOVEMENTS blooms from those times

in other words, THERE WILL BE A COUNTER CULTURE MOVEMENT THAT WE HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN OUR LIFETIMES. you are now a rebel for the resistance and the wave that will swing back towards love will awe us in ways we cannot even imagine yet.

but for now, feel those feelings, mourn, prove love, stay safe. do not let the hope i am espousing feel like a distraction from the very real, even deadly consequences of the terrible pit we are plummeting into. it is a horrible day, and FUTURE HOPE does not diminish that, BUT

get ready because that counter culture wave is coming and YOU are a part of it. if you want to shout HECK OFF DEVILS then shout it LOUD, if you want to cry then cry HARD, if you want to love then love with your WHOLE HEART. thats the start of the movement that we dont know yet

when that movement takes shape we will feel the inertia of the curve and it may make us sick from the rollercoaster turn, and that pressure will be uncomfortable and scary, but THEN buckaroo, we will soar, and ill be so dang glad to be holding on tight with you when we do

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“There are other forces at work in this world besides the will of evil.”

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mulholland drive to the polls

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Headcannon scenario of Silent Hill protags with a s/o who likes to annoy em plz? Not bc it's out of maliciousness but it's rather mildly amusing according to s/o

Oop, sorry it took me a bit to answer this, anon!

-TRAVIS: He's a guy who under good circumstances likes having someone he can joke around with, so although he takes awhile to trust other peoples' intentions, he'd be all about having a partner who's playful. He can even put on the tough-guy "all right c'mere you little shit" scowl and chase 'em if that's what they're hoping for. Only hard rule is NO annoying him while driving-- he takes road safety very seriously!

-HARRY: I see him as someone who comes off as very serious, to the point that he almost seems like a square, but as soon as he's in a good mood the sense of humor comes out. The seriousness might make him look like an easy target to annoy, but you must remember: he raised Heather Mason. He has a straight face made of steel and underneath it, something even more terrifying: the capability to be so much more annoying than you. He will put up with prodding until it almost stops being fun and then he will turn around and deliver a dad joke so targeted that you get vaporized on the spot.

-JAMES: It depends a lot on where he is in the timeline, but he probably wouldn't like it lmao. He has a hard time reading social cues and, especially post-SH2, is both withdrawn, easily-irritated, and wary of others' intentions. So he'd spend a lot of time sitting there baffled and annoyed, wondering what the hell your problem is. THAT SAID, I think that at his core underneath all the baggage and misery, a happy and trusting James is a James that enjoys being gently and affectionately bothered. Prior to her illness, I think Mary brought out his sense of humor and they regularly annoyed one another on purpose. The trust is key though-- if he doesn't realize someone's trying to be affectionate, he just assumes they're being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole.

-HEATHER: Short answer: Heather is the s/o who is being annoying. Less-short answer: If Heather likes you, she goofs on you. That's just how she is. This is true whether you're a grouch or a fellow goof. In a scenario where Heather's got a partner with similar gremlin vibes to her own, they become completely imparsable to all those around them because they're just constantly doing weird shit to each other. If you needle her, she'll needle right back, and it will only escalate.

-HENRY: He doesn't do a lot of verbal banter, and like James, he takes a long time to really open up. In his case, he's shy and skittish and probably too worried about accidentally crossing a line to do much bothering in return. However, once he knows it's okay to "fight back", his unique brand of silent Henry retaliation kicks in. It will be quiet in the house and then you'll hear the first three notes of a song you hate play on his phone from somewhere in another room. This is your life now.

-ALEX: Alex is a big brother. He puts his s/o in a headlock and noogies them until they say uncle.

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I read Gravity when I was back in high school after I played SH2 and loved it. Now I'm watching my friend play the SH2 Remake and immediately ran to see if it still existed on the internet for me to re read. Which I was really excited to see that it does and I know what I'm gonna be doing ASAP. Thank you so much for writing it!

Aaaaaa anon, thank you both for being a long-time fan and also for sending me such a sweet message!

In case you're reading it where it's hosted on Dreamwidth, I'm excited to direct you towards my AO3 account (Phantastus), where I've been slowly glacially crossposting chapters as I re-edit and spruce them up! There's four posted so far (unsurprisingly, giving the novella-length Chapter 5 a fresh coat of paint is taking me forever so I've been stuck there for a good while haha), and since the remake came out I've noticed a handful of kudos coming in which has definitely brightened up my October so far lol.

Thank you again so much, I hope you enjoy your reread!

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ANYBODY AT BOSTON FAN EXPO? COME SAY HI 2 ME.... my table is AA601!

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💖thank you EVERYONE for the outpour of love for radrezi/heather-garland.💖

we still have no word yet on where or how she is, and it seems like our only option is to simply wait it out and hope she returns soon.

in the meantime, i want to thank absolutely EVERYONE for their love, attention, concern, and support. Rezi is a beautiful and positive force in our spooky little fandom here and her art style is so distinctive and her humor is outstanding, and i know she's a good friend to so so many of us.

i hope we will hear from her soon or get updates from someone who has heard something. it truly means a lot to see how much so many people care for her.

you are beloved. not just Rezi, but you. YOU are beloved. please always try to remember and to hold onto that, no matter what. 🥚💖

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A DESPERATE CRY FOR HELP. You can save lives in Gaza by reading through this post. Please dont scroll. Below are some VETTED campaigns to support Gazans. DONATE. If you cannot, share widely.

(June 3)

Save 16 year old Yazan and his family (@yazanabusaia) - Yazan Ashraf Abu Safiya is a 16-year-old skater from Gaza. He seeks to help his family evacuate to Egypt after their home was destroyed by war, to access medical care for his sick mother and elderly father, and to pursue his dreams.

Save a displaced Gazan Family (@ranibra) - Rania is married with five children, her husband needs medical care. She is now responsible to save her children. Help them evacuate.

Help evacuate Hani's family (@skatehani) - A dear friend, and a Palestinian skater trying to evacuate 10 members of his family; he has lost his father to injustice. Less than halfway to his goal.

Save Mahmoud's family (@mahmoudkhalaff) - Mahmoud Khalaf is a PhD student in Ireland from Gaza. He urgently pleads for help to evacuate his family, who have been displaced multiple times and narrowly escaped death.

Save a family trapped in Gaza (@mohamedalanqer) - Mohammed Alanqar and his family are living in fear, urgently needing financial assistance to escape to a safer environment.

Help a Gazan family rebuild their life (@jkr85) - Amal and Khalil, a Palestinian family with four children, were displaced, losing their home. Help rebuild their life.

Ahmd needs urgent evacuation (@ahmd-iyd) - Ahmd has lost his livelihood to this genocide, and needs funds to help his family evacuate and rebuild their life.

Help Gazan children survive (@aymanayyad81) - Fadi Ayyad, an 18-year-old from Gaza seeks the funds to help his family survive these gruesome conditions.

Help Tahseen and his family (@tahseenmush) - Tahseen and his family are from northern Gaza and need urgent help to survive this genocide.

Help Iman’s family find safety (@imaneyad) - Iman has a family of 7 who need to find safety.

Help Omar evacuate (@omarsobhi) - Omar is a 20 year old Palestinian student who wants to save himself and his family from this genocide.

Support Mohammed Ayesh (@mohammedayesh) - A university student who desperately needs to evacuate to Egypt.

Save a Gazan family of 18 (@bilalhammadsblog) - Urgent help to evacuate a family of 18, who live in a tent, facing scarcity of food, water, and medical care.

Help Nader's family to evacuate from Gaza (@nadershoshaa) - Nader and his family, consisting of six members, are currently displaced in the south; help them evacuate and survive.

Help Iyad and his family (@iyadsobhei) - Iyad is an elderly man who has been living in dire conditions with deteriorating health; he needs to evacuate with his wife and eight children.

Support Ruba and Amal's family's urgent evacuation (@rubashaban @amalshabn) - Ruba and Amal's family are lacking the basic necessities of life; they have an elderly father who desperately needs to be evacuated for medical care.

Help save Mahmoud's family (@hillesmahmoud) - Mahmoud Helles, separated from his family for seven years, seeks urgent help to relocate his displaced children and ailing wife from Gaza to Egypt and cover her medical expenses.

Help a pregnant mother survive with her family (@lailashaqoura) - Laila and her family are facing dire conditions and hunger, desperately hoping to escape to safety in Egypt. Her mother is pregnant.

Don't scroll before picking AT LEAST ONE fundrasier to support. Even the smallest donation can save a life. If you can't donate, please share these campaigns.

Before you go.... FIND MORE CAMPAIGNS HERE

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What headcannons do you have on Stanley Coleman? I always imagined him as some serial killer. So, the church would cover for him, he’d do it again, they got tired and then they institutionalized him. What do you think the origin is for his obsession? Anger? Retaliation? Reassurance? Power? Lust?

Hey there!

I've actually got a fair bit, although most of them I think can already be found tagged 'Stanley Coleman' on my blog.

For my own personal interpretation, I don't really see him as having been an active killer prior to being institutionalized (though he is 100% capable of violence and would definitely have attacked Heather eventually had something else not killed him first), but I DO think that the Order played a big role in getting him institutionalized. The way I've always headcanoned it, his psychosexual obsession with the concept of Alessa (and then the LIVING PERSON Heather, once she was 'located' and her identity was confirmed) was off-putting and offensive even to the other cultists.

As for the origin of the obsession, I think it's like... 75% lust, 25% extreme loneliness, but with a heaping side of main character syndrome and the selfishness/entitlement that comes with that? Stanley comes off to me as someone who is fully aware that he's very disliked but considers himself firmly above everybody else, and since he was ALREADY part of a religious cult, his religious delusions formed at least in part as a convenient justification for his superiority complex. He's God's specialest most favorite little boy and that's why he gets to fuck the Jesus figure (who loves it and also him, they are married on the astral plane), and if you don't like it when he comes to church and talks openly during group prayers about how much Saint Alessa craves his magnum dick, you're just jealous.

I also headcanon that what actually killed him was Valtiel and it was because he was a clear physical threat to Heather (and therefore to God).

TL/DR Stanley is a fuckin creep and even the Order isn't wild about him.

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VASH IS SHAKEN TO ATONE FOR HUMANITY'S SINS

He is here! A lil Vashie to shake around and carry with me everywhere.

It was really fun to bring this silly little idea to life.

You can find him here!

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ABBY IS THE BIGGEST SWEETIE AND I HAVE KNOWN HER FOR MANY YEARS NOW, she deserves to live somewhere NICE and NORMAL for once!!!!!!

🚚 MOVING ALERT WEE WOO 🚛

⚠ POST MADE IN THE STEAD OF @theabbystabby ⚠

(because she felt bad asking for help and I love her like a cool aunt.)

Abby and Missy -- friends I have known for practically 15 years now-- are finally being able to move in together!

BUT!

THEY NEED HELP PAYING FOR THE LAST BIT OF AMENITIES ( van. food. gas. etc. )

It's a trip from Minnesota to Missouri on Febuary 28th - 29th

GOAL IS 800 USD

This would be to cover the Moving Van costs (she is being driven by her sibling and wants to help pay for it)

It's rounded up by 20 to hopefully cover some small buffers like gas or additional things/fees that might come up! If we break past it then she can help pay for any other extra things post move in, too!

She has been hot-potatoed in abusive households for a whole 30 years. It would help loads if you pitched in or shared!

🇵 🇦 🇾 🇵 🇦 🇱 BELOW 💲⬇⬇⬇ Please help her out! This is major life improvement for her!!

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Hey all, I'm opening up comms to buy e-sims for people on the ground in Gaza. You can read more about the project here. I'll be sure to post caps of the purchases once all is said and done.

Prices are per-character and based on my typical humanoid style. I'm flexible if you're looking for something simpler. Payments are completed via PayPal invoice.

Send me a DM if interested!

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As a fellow Silent Hill obsesse , I just want to let you know that James adding the nine red squares to his jacket is a genius detail and I'm sad that I didn't think of it first

Ah!! Thank you! It's so funny, I think the very first iteration of the red squares on the sleeve was literally just a visual placeholder because I was drawing him after first getting into the series and couldn't remember what his actual patch looked like.

Only for it to become a big fanfic plot point and (apparently) something that wound up being associated with me specifically later on, lol!

I'm really glad it stands out in a positive way!

Have a shabby mid-Gravity James!