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#215+

I don’t know how I’m going to explain history to my 2.5 year old.  I don’t know how, when all this horrific truth will be alive and well I’ll be able to explain why.

When I hear my daughter speak our language that’s on the verge of death it’s a completely unimaginable happiness. But the history, will it scare her, will she run and hide and refuse to embrace it? 

She’s pale. But this is her history and it’s her future to carry. 

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Some days, she has no idea how she’ll do it. But every single day, it still gets done.

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Motherhood

Have you ever sat down and pondered what it means to fit into a predefined role of a 'mother' or 'father'? When did you decide that you would accept the name of Mom or Dad? DId you ever feel like this binary was something that you didn't want to accept, condone or reinforce?.. I’d rather be a parent. A label that is fluid and not narrowly defined or colonially stereotyped.

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Variations between countries/cultures is interesting

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Many things at the same time

Sometimes I think ADHD gets the best of me and tricks me into thinking I’m a superhero and that there is no limit to my capacity. I’m not there yet, but when I think about all the things spiraling around me, it’s a bit of a tornado.  Mayaxala - my little dream team is all set up and ready to rock it. But if this was the only thing that needed my attention in my life, it would be sprouting a lot faster.  School - the biggest elephant of them all. I’m about to make my first step of progress since organizing a binder a couple months ago. But the Masters is something that will not complete itself and that holds a lot of meaning for me; topic of Indigenous Fatherhood, and so much more within that.  Work - Meaningful, rewarding and full of opportunities. Solving huge system problems, and supporting our First Nations with the daily battles of accessing care; health, mental, spiritual, physical.  Home - 70% of the way to comfort. With small projects left to accomplish, and some bigger ones in February. It was so amazing to sit in our home a few nights ago and just be so so comfortable and content, it’s been a while. Family - the true Never Ending Story, i guess Max would be my luck dragon.  Community - there’s a lot of movement trying to happen but hurdles being chucked up all the way along. Taking a positive outlook, pushing forward with extreme patience. On two different committees to date and I’m thinking more positively about the potential of running for Council again in three years. Me - trying to find a balance where I don’t stay up to late, I can get up early, and move through the day with grace and speed. I’m getting there. Closer and closer each week.   Over all, I’m excited to be where I’m at. A solid job, a husband, our puppies, our home, being in Campbell River and watching our finances balance out after our first property purchase together.  Keep it coming Creator. 

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Always go too far, because that’s where you’ll find the truth.

Albert Camus (via fyp-philosophy)

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Easy Saturday

Sometimes it's about only doing a couple loads of laundry and shovelling the driveway, and then taking the rest of the day in bed with Netflix while the man plays video games online with his brother and takes out an hour to make a little bit more progress on the spare room. Been an easy Saturday, ready for a busy Sunday, and an unbelievable Weekend with some pretty awesome folks. 

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Some modern day Rosa Parks fanart for you <3

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#30th year

The year of introducing lipstick into the wardrobe.

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The fact that I’m silent doesn’t mean I have nothing to say.

Jonathan Carroll (via wordsnquotes)

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01.01.2017

I'll be posting on my blog a lot more this year to journal about my experiences, habits, activities, progress, regress and everything in between in an effort to use it as something to keep myself accountable.

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I hope there comes a day where I don’t miss you anymore.

aye-ho (via wordsnquotes)

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Your physical body isn’t what’s remembered when you’re gone… It’s the stories you leave for people to tell, and the love you leave that people feel obligated to share.

Dori Banks (via wordsnquotes)

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I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.

Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (via theliteraryjournals)

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If We Weren’t Afraid

- - - I sat around the other day just looking at a lot of my friends relationships, who they’re ending up with, remembering their previous relationships and wondering how we all end up finding that individual that we just cling to for life.  I wonder who we would have chosen if there was never any damage to our hearts. I wonder who we would decided was our match if we had never been hurt, if we didn’t have any scars, if we never had to worry. Is there someone that would have been different for us if we weren’t afraid of the impact they would have on us, if we weren’t so worried that they would hurt us? If you never had to worry about someone hurting your heart, who would you have been with? Who would you have stayed with? Would it have still been everything that you’re seeing in the person that you’re with now... Maybe we’re hurt for a reason. Maybe we have to go through these things so that our paths will get us to those that we need to be with. Those that will hold us up in our weakest hour and not judge us for being a little bit nuts. Maybe we literally had to be abused, or damaged by our paths to make sure that they lead to what was ultimately where we were supposed to be. - - - I think too much, especially when I’m left to my own devices. 

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