phirim - Tumblr blog

[phirim]

waters so amazing because you can drink it really sloppy style and like spill it all over yourself and it doesnt even leave a stain. you dont even have to wash it out/ . because its already washed

[phirim]

Pokemon XD Spread from the Nintendo New Summer Line-up Catalog (2005) [✩]

[phirim]

Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:

If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.

If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.

I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.

There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.

[phirim]

normalize being deeply average and being mediocre at everything <3

[phirim]

have yall heard about the tiktok lady whose like actively mining a tunnel under her house gathering rock for "a castle" and all of her folliwers are like "yeah its fine she's an engineer" but it turns out she's a SOFTWARE ENGINEER

and she's not like, in the country or anything either, she lives in the suburbs?????¿¿?? and being really vague about the "permits" she got for this project and like she's making the perfect conditions for a sinkhole underneath not just her house but her neighbors' houses too????

[phirim]

it's terrible when there's a very beautiful story stuck in a mediocre television show just trying to get out. unfortunately most television is made by people with sticky darkness in their hearts. and not even a sexy kind of sticky darkness.

[phirim]

you guys dont even know that the zootopia abortion comic takes place inside jerry seinfelds apartment

[phirim]

i hate when ppl act like the only reason to not like a "sad" ending is because you can't take it or whatever. personally as a tragedy enjoyer, i hate a poorly written ending. i hate an ending that is just kind of a bummer. i hate an ending that feels mean-spirited to the audience. i hate an ending that's redundant. i love a sad ending that is thematically consistent, poignant, and bespoke to the rest of its narrative.

[phirim]

cold out tonight

[phirim]

[phirim]

Doylist explanation: They keep making new electric mouse pokemon because they're frantically trying to recreate the success of Pikachu. Or at least because it's tradition at this point.

Watsonian explanation: A major predator of rodents is birds of prey. A mouse that can deliver electric shocks to flying-types has a much higher chance of living to produce more offspring. Thus, convergent evolution fills this niche in every region. "Pikachu" is just the pokemon universe equivalent of "crab".

[phirim]

...so this morning i'm at the public pool, done with my laps, putting on makeup for work and there's a woman and a man -- both easily in their 70s -- who obviously don't know each other coming down the stairs, and she has a little trouble with her balance so he goes, "Can I help?" and holds out his hand and she takes it, navigates the steps while holding on to him and talking about the importance of exercise and he deadass breaks out the "Come here often?" to which she says, "Yes, but some mornings it would be nicer to stay in bed" while batting her lashes at him, and it was such God Tier Flirting that it reaffirmed my entire faith in humanity.

YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD FOR A MEET CUTE.

[phirim]

I'm not corrupted by the amulet or anything but people who might try to touch or steal it from me definitely have to die. just as a moral thing

[phirim]

Do they have blueish hair?

Do they use a lance?

Odds are I love them

[phirim]

Do not blame me for who I am. The doctor prescribed me 20 mL of #i love women twice a day.

[phirim]

Bird identification is so fucked up in a really fun way you can’t understand until you get into it. For example, there is a type of goose called the cackling goose that looks exactly like a Canada goose except smaller and “cuter”. The cackling goose is way, way, more rare in most places than its relatively common cousin, so it’s on tons of birders life lists. Everyone wants to see a cackling (look in any bird ID group to see lots of hopeful people posting petite Canada geese). The two species regularly commingle, so sometimes a flock of those common parking lot birds will have the equivalent of a Pokémon shiny just hanging out in the middle of them.

How ridiculous and fun is that? I can never look at a big group of Canada geese without scrutinizing their ranks for an adorable little extremely rare cutie pie cackling goose. It reminds me a bit of mushroom harvesting minus the risk of death if you get it wrong

[phirim]

"oh but your favorite shows are going to be delayed by the strikes" my favorite shows consistently get cancelled after 2 excellent seasons bc of the exploitive corporate greed that these strikes are fighting against