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phoenixsbby · 3 years ago

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The Thing About Forever - Hangman x Fem!reader

summary: your casual relationship with Hangman can’t stay casual forever, especially when your heart isn’t the only one you have to protect

WC: 6.4k

a/n: happy monday everyone :/ ... hope this makes your day a little better!

warnings: slight smut, swearing, alcohol consumption, children lol

In your dreams that involve Jake, things often start like this: soft kisses pressed up and down the side of your neck, warm lips tracing the lines of your collarbones. A burning palm placed on your naked hip, mapping out curves and dips of your body. The spread of goosebumps across your skin at the sensation of his tongue, wet and soft, and his teeth, rough and greedy.

You hum, it all feels so real when he bears into you, nipping and sucking until you’re red and raw. When your eyes flutter open and the feeling of him pressed behind you, holding you close, is as real as the mattress beneath you, you smile. As you adjust to the morning glow filtering into your bedroom, he continues to coax you from your dream state and into this blissful reality with impatient fingers digging their way into your flesh.

When you arch your back against his front, you can feel how hard he is against you. You push and grind you ass back into him, the vibrations of his groans radiate from inside his body directly onto yours.

You start to pant when his hand drags its way down lower and lower and lower until it parts your legs and settles in between your thighs, stroking lazily at your clit. You let your head fall back into the crook of his neck, gasping as his fingers move in and out of you in just the right way, the way he knows drives you absolutely crazy. In a matter of minutes, you’re coming all over him, droplets of yourself roll their way down your inner thighs and land on the sheets.

He gathers the mess up with his fingers and presses them to your lips, watching with his own lips slightly parted as you wrap your mouth around each finger and suck until they come away clean. He turns your body around to be flush against his and hooks your leg over his lip - desperate doesn’t even begin to describe how he feels about being inside you.

You hold each others eyes without saying a single thing, letting everything you feel and wish you could put into words flow from the way you look into each other. You gasp and grin softly at the feeling of his cock gliding against your slit, teasing you a bit by barely entering you before pulling out again.

All you murmur is a breathy “please” and he gives in, plunging himself into you deep and hard. You let your jaw open and your nails dig into his skin as he keeps his arms wrapped around you, holding you close as he pounds into you. Your gaze never leave each others and although no words are spoken, continuous communication still occurs through sounds of pleasure and hazy eyes. You’re irresistible, the feel of you soaked and pulsing around him is mind altering and it doesn’t take long for him to reach his peak and come crashing down.

He buries his face into your neck and lets all of the moans, groans, and cries of your name out directly onto your skin as he rides out the high. A few seconds of silence pass, filled only with heavy breaths and gripping onto each other tightly, sweaty bare chest to sweaty bare chest, before you pull back and smile.

You’re sure this, the sex, the way he holds you, the way he looks at you, will never get old.

The first time you were with Hangman, you were sure it’d be a one and done deal. That was what you both originally agreed on, the parameters of casually hooking up fit within both of your lives best. But after one hit, like a drug of choice, your relationship became an overpowering kind of addiction.

No feelings - that’s the golden rule.

The way he runs a hand along your hair and down your cheek, the way he smiles at you like you hung the moon, does not say no feelings. In fact, it screams fuck the golden rule!

You leave him with one final soft, drawn out kiss before getting out of bed to freshen up. You thrown on his baggy Navy t-shirt and a pair of sleep shorts that you absolutely did not sleep in last night and plop back down on the bed night to him with a groan, earning a chuckle from the man still naked under your duvet.

“What if we just never left this bed?“ You mutter into the pillows, feeling yourself melt deeper into them as his hand rubs up and down your back.

“That could pose a few logistical problems.”

“Such as?”

“Food? Water? Work?”

“Never heard of it.” He chuckles again as you flip over and look up at him. He still has bedhead, his usually neat and clean hair looks fluffier and askew and completely adorable. His face is still a little puffy with remnants of sleep and his lips are swollen from your kisses and ugh. Your heart feels like it turns to butter, soft and squishy in your chest at the sight of him looking so at home in your home.

“You’re beautiful.” He says as he drags a thumb across your jaw. No feelings my ass. “And I’d be honored to be stuck in this bed with you for all of eternity.” You beam up at him and scoot forward until your lips are hovering just above his. You inch closer and closer and close until-

You jolt up at the sound of your front door opening and Penny’s voice flowing through the hallways of your house. She babysat Lennon last night and wasn’t supposed to bring her back until later, until before her evening shift at the bar.

You rush out of bed and scurry, on your tip toes, to your bedroom door to close it as quietly as humanly possible.

“I thought you said she wouldn’t be here?” Hangman asks, his voice coming out as a whisper.

“Yeah well, that’s what I thought!” You whisper back. Penny knew you were ‘seeing someone’. She also knew how hard it was for a single mother to find spare time and meet new people so, she volunteered to take your daughter, Lennon, on some nights to free up your time. You loved her endlessly for it.

She knew you’d have someone here this morning ... she did this on purpose! Because you refused to tell her about the mystery man you’d been ‘seeing’, she dropped by early to catch a glimpse of him herself. That genius nasty woman!

When you moved to California to not only be closer to her but, also to get away from your shitty ex, she had warned you about men like Hangman. Naval men, she had said, it’s all the same game with them. Most, not all but, definitely most, are not good. You don’t need that.

Hence, why you’ve elected not to tell her about your hook up deal with a Naval man.

“Okay, so she’s here? It’s not a big deal.” Jake says as he gets up and throws on his sweats. He wasn’t referring to Penny. It really wouldn’t be a big deal if Penny found out, you’d most likely earn some firm looks and a kitchen lecture but, that wasn’t anything you hadn’t gotten from her before. He was referring to Lennon, to seeing her, to meeting her.

“Yes, it is a big deal!” Your voice changes from a causal whisper to one that mimics a yell. “I do not need strange men meeting my daughter!” Hangman furrows his brows and raises his hands like okay, rude. You roll your eyes. “Obviously I didn’t mean it like that! I just mean she’s impressionable! She needs stability and we agreed this wasn’t-“ You motion between your bodies and around the room and when no words come to you, ones that accurately describe what you’re even doing together, you settle on, “ya know!”

Hangman’s features soften as he takes a few steps closer. “Actually, Y/N, I-“

The sound of knuckles meeting the wood of your bedroom door causes you to jump. You and Hangman stare at each other, wide eyed, and stay silent as if that’ll really convince her to walk away.

“I know you’re both in there.”

Oh God, you are so not getting out of this one.

You point to a window in your bedroom and grin at Jake. He shakes his head, you nod, he shakes, you nod, all while he takes a few steps toward the door, dodges your attempt to block him and reaches for the handle.

Pennys eyes nearly drop out of her skull and roll to your feet.

“Good morning, Penny!” You strain out a grin, you’re sure it comes off as forced as it feels.

“What the fu-“

“Mommy!” Lennon comes toddling in from behind Pennys legs. She doesn’t pass even so much as a glance at Hangman, she just bolts to you as if she hasn’t seen you in weeks rather than one night. Your heart swells at the sweetness of it, at the clear display of her love for you.

“Hi, baby.” You coo as you squat down and squeeze her tightly against you. You look up from over her shoulder to see Jakes eyes bouncing between you and Penny, all while Pennys eyes remain locked on him.

This is a lot, a lot is happening, probably too much.

“How was your night with Aunty Pen?” You ask Lennon as you pull away from the hug and brush some hair away from her face. Maybe if you only acknowledge your daughter and not the other two people in the room, then they’ll just disappear. It’s not a bad idea, right?

“Good!” Lennon squeals as she reaches out and touches your face and your hair, the way you did hers. One of your favorite things about your girl was her affection. She always reaches out in someway, she appreciates the comfort of contact and the way she can show emotions she doesn’t know the words to describe yet.

“We painted and ate popsicles and played with Theo!” She smiles as she continues.

“Wow!” You share her enthusiasm, taking her hands in yours before bringing them to your lips. When you look back up at your guests, both Hangman and Penny are still present (sigh) and staring right at you and Lennon with equally tender, emotional expressions.

Did you really want to do this? To introduce Lennon to Jake? She loves everyone and anyone, she’s pure in that way. Life hasn’t taught her to mistrust or protect her heart. She’s over friendly and gets attached too easily and you assume she most likely got that from you too. You didn’t want her to develop any kind of fatherly feelings for Hangman if his plan was to bolt the same way your ex did.

Maybe if this meeting was a one time thing, Lenny will forget about him. He doesn’t have to keep coming around. Maybe it’s better for you too, to end this before it can get any more messy and Lennons feeling weren’t the only ones to get hurt. The thought makes you ache, looking at him now and knowing you won’t be able to trail kisses down his cheek or feel his arms wrapped around your waist, it settles in your stomach like a stone.

But, this isn’t about you. Three years ago, your main priority became Lennon, you will always put her first.

You lift Lennon up into your arms, noticing how much heavier she gets every time you do it and swallow that emotion down with the rest of them.

“Lennon, this is Mama’s friend, Jake.” Your eyes leave your daughters and travel to Jake, who’s already watching you closely. He blinks away the glassiness that coats his eyes and looks to Lennon.

“Well hi there, Miss Lennon.” His voice is so gentle, you feel it threaten to crack your remaining resolve. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Lennon, your outgoing, brilliant girl, sticks out her hand to for him to shake. Jake, without hesitation, takes her little hand in his big one and gives it a firm shake with a bright grin on his face.

“My mom has never talked about you before!” Lennon says shamelessly. You snort, adjusting her against your hip before meeting Hangmans eye and mouthing ‘busted’.

“Well your mom has certainly told me about you.” He pokes her side playfully, pulling a giggle out of her. “She goes on and on all the time about her amazing little girl.” Your daughter smiles widely at him as she squeezes you around the neck.

“Do you want to see my books?” She asks him eagerly. She’s loved books and reading for as long as she could show interest in anything other than food (like mother, like daughter). She’s always raring and ready to show off her collection to anyone willing to see it. You can picture it in your head, the three of you going to see her books and her toys and it all just becoming a slippery slope leading to more.

Your throat suddenly feels too tight to pull in the oxygen that your lungs demand of it.

“Actually, honey.” You draw her attention back to you. “Jake has to get going to his big, adult job.” Your daughter frowns and whines a “but” before Penny cuts in.

“Lenny, why don’t you and I go make some breakfast for your Mama and let her say goodbye to her friend?” You place Lennon back down on the ground and send Penny a thankful look, one she returns with a oh-this-is-so-not-over-look that has you quickly looking away.

“Okay!” Lennon cheers and bolts toward the kitchen, dragging Penny with her.

You collapse against the doorframe when she’s out of sight. Hangman leans against the adjacent side of the door, chewing at his bottom lip.

“You know I’m off today.” He doesn’t phrase it like a question because he’s right, you do know. You were planning to spend more time with each other this morning before .. well .. all of that.

“I know.” You scrub your hands over your face. “But, you can’t stay.”

You hate that flash of hurt that crosses over his face.

“But, I-“

“No. We decided from the first time we met that this would be causal. And Lennon ... she gets so attached so easily and I can’t let her get hurt as soon as you stop coming around because you’ve found someone better.” You huff.

You aren’t stupid and you certainly weren’t born yesterday. You’ve heard things about Hangman, about his lifestyle, about how he doesn’t prefer to be anywhere near a relationship if it’s close to being labeled ‘long term’ or ‘serious’. And you get it, you do. His job makes developing deeply rooted relationships difficult. If he choses to keep others at an arms length until he’s ready to settle down and accept love and the pain associated with it, then so be it.

If there’s more to it, a part of his game that leads you to believe that there was a possibility of more when there really wasn’t, you aren’t willing to participate.

“I wouldn’t-“

“Jake.” You cut him off with a deep sigh. The echoes of Lennons laugh that travel through the hallway land directly in your chest, pulling and tugging your heart in all different directions. “We had a lot of fun. You’re a great guy ..” Jake shakes his head. “But I think we need to stop whatever this is. We agreed it couldn’t be anything more. And this is ...” You gesture toward the kitchen, more laughter streams through as if it’s a sign. “Too much.” Your voice cracks slightly at the end, causing you to snap your mouth shut.

Jake lets his head hang and keeps his gaze low, silent in the time he allows to let your words to fully sink in.

“Okay.” You hear him reply, his voice coming out low and gravelly. He looks up, blinks a few times and nods. “Okay.” He repeats with more sturdiness, more acceptance. He takes a few steps closer until he’s effectively invaded your personal space. He rests a hand on your hip and you let him, savoring the heat that emanates from his palm and seeps into your skin. He places a gentle, tender kiss to your forehead, takes one last look at you, then walks away.

You hear a faint call of ‘bye, Mister Jake!’ from the kitchen and have to pretend that in that moment, your feet are cement blocks just to keep yourself from chasing him down and begging him to stay.

You release a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding after you hear the front door close. Once you’ve effectively blinked away the prickle of tears you feel against your dry eyes and take one last long exhale, you head to the kitchen to see Penny and Lennon.

Lennon is standing on a stool, supported by Penny, mixing (or at least, attempting to mix) some batter in a large bowl.

“Pancakes! Mommy’s favorite!” Lennon giggles as she moves her small arms in big circles to combine the ingredients.

“Sounds perfect.” You smile and kiss her cheek before moving toward the coffee machine.

“So,” Penny starts, causing you to tense “Hangman, huh?” You brace yourself for the look of disappointment you’ll see on her face when you turn around. Except when you do turn, it isn’t there. All you see on her face is look of genuine interest, maybe even a look of understanding.

You scoop a finger into the bowl of batter and stick it into your mouth, all while mumbling, “Not anymore.” She sends you a crooked, sympathetic smile as you lean against the counter.

“I should be mad at you.” You tell her, keeping an eye on Lennon to ensure her acute focus remains on the bowl in front of her and not your conversation. “You knew I had a guy here and you still brought Lennon home.”

“I know.” Penny fixes her body so its turned toward you while still supporting Lennon. “I’m sorry. But I knew it was the guy you’ve been seeing for awhile and I figured maybe you needed a little push.”

You narrow your eyes at her, the words she’s chosen buzz around your head like bees, too fast and too scary to try to grasp on to.

“Come on, Y/N. You’ve got to give me a little more credit.” She grins. “I know you like him. You always try to hide how you excited you get when I offer to take Lennon so you can see him and you always come back with this dreamy look in your eyes, a look I’m very familiar with by the way.” She snickers as your cheeks flood with heat. You hadn’t realized how obvious you’d been about it all, about how you really felt for Jake.

“And I trust your judgement. I knew if you kept seeing him, he must have been a good guy. Or at least, a better guy than ...” Penny covers Lennons ears, causing her to giggle “your ex.” She pulls her hands away and helps Lennon add some chocolate chips into the bowl.

Jake is a better man than your ex, by far. Lennon was too young when he bolted to have any solid memories of her father. And he had made it plenty clear that he didn’t have any intention on playing a role in her future.

That’s why you’ve been hesitant to bring men not only into your life but, into hers as well. You know that the minute you do, he’ll start to fill a void Lennon may feel in her life without a father, a void that you, despite your best efforts, might never be able to fill on your own.

You should be mad at Penny for jump starting that process, for pushing the boat of your relationship with Jake into uncharted waters. But, you’re not mad. You know that if it weren’t for her, you may never been the one to cut the rope and do it yourself.

Not that it even matters anymore. When it came down to it, Hangman proved to you exactly what you had believed him and your relationship to be.

“I’ve known Hangman for a bit,” Penny adds “he’s a good guy. He may not come off that way at first but, I know who he really is.” You open your mouth to reply when Lennon decides to slide herself into the conversation.

“Mommy, are you have Mister Jake going to be friends forever?” She stops her mixing and looks up at you. There, looking into her eyes, you find a soft glow of curiosity that you’ve seen in her many times before. Your gaze flickers briefly to Penny who gives you a small shrug. You take a deep breath and smile down at Lennon.

“The thing about forever is ... it’s always changing. Forever can feel like thirty minutes or a hundred days, it can pass in the blink of a second or stretch on for years. It’s an inaccurate measure of time. So, I don’t know if Jake and I will be friends forever.” At the sight of her little pout, you scoop her hands into yours. “What I do know, is that I will always love you, no matter how long my forever is.”

“I’ll love you for my forever too, Mommy.” She smiles at you before quickly centering her focus back on the pancake batter. You chuckle and shake your head, hoping she caught onto the point as much as her developing brain could allow.

——

Hangman can’t believe it’s over. Sure, he’d only spent a handful of months with you. Did a majority of the times you found yourselves together end in sex? Yes. Did that mean he felt like that time spent was any less valuable? No. He feels like he knows you in a way so many other people never will. A way, deep down, he wishes not a single soul other than himself gets the privilege to.

But it seemed like when it really came down to it, all of it was just a hook up to you.

What you had said to him in your bedroom was stuck in his head, replying like a record with a scratch, catching over and over again.

As soon as you stop coming around because you found something better.

Found someone better

Someone better

Someone bett-

No, it doesn’t seem like that’s ever going to be possible.

You’ve branded yourself onto him, he’ll carry around a scar of you everywhere he goes. He’ll most likely use it to compare and find himself disappointed (but, not shocked) when no one does.

Hangman takes another shot and flags down the bartender who, thankfully, is not Penny tonight. He feels a hand place itself on his shoulder, causing him to look up and observe Rooster with disinterest as he slides into the barstool beside him.

“How ya doing, buddy?”

“Awesome.” Hangman takes another shot.

“Clearly.”

After a second or two of nothing besides a lull in conversation and the background noice of clattering glasses and soft music, Bradley asks, “Is this about that woman I’ve seen you staring at whenever she’s here? Penny’s niece?”

“Why do you care?”

Bradley scoffs and shakes his head, a small grin tugs at his lips. “Come on, Hangman. You know why I care.”

Oh my god, Jake thinks, how drunk am I going to have to get tonight?

“Anyway,” Bradley continues “do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“It’d probably hel-“

“No.”

“But, maybe I could-“

“She dumped me, okay?”

Bradley blinks at him, slightly shell shocked. “You got dumped?”

Jake groans and rakes a hand over his face. “No. Technically we were never together.”

“Why?”

“She has a kid.”

“…so?”

“She thinks I’m a player.”

“…you are?”

“She doesn’t want her kid to get attached to me then be sad when I stop coming around because I’ve fucked it all up.”

Bradley sits back in the barstool and lets another lull settle between them while he processes this new information. For awhile, Jake thinks Bradley won’t say anything because he’s also come to the conclusion that you’re right. It’s a move any good mother would make and he’s proud of you for doing what you feel is necessary, despite how much it burns him.

‘She thinks that you only like her as a friend.” It’s more of a statement than a question but, Jake grunts in agreement regardless. “And she thinks you’re still pursing other women romantically.” He grunts again despite that being the furthest thing from the truth. “She doesn’t know that you’d drop it all for her if she gave you the chance.”

“Wow, Rooster, you are really just so preceptive.”

Bradley tilts his head and raises his eyebrows and Jake shuts up.

“Well if that’s true then what the fuck are you doing here?”

“What-“ Hangman blanches. “What do you mean?”

“If you want more from her, you have to tell her that, you idiot! By leaving her when she asked you to, you only proved her point! If you want something with her then you have to fight for her. Show her that this is no longer casual for you, that you’re in this for real, and then she’ll reconsider!” Its Hangman’s turn to blink at Rooster, trying to comprehend his words.

“Do you want to be in her life?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to be in her daughters life?”

“Yes. You should see her Rooster, she’s adorable. And so smart. Y/N has done such a good job raising her and-“ Rooster throws his hands up in the air and that’s when it finally clicks.

“Oh.” Realization comes, very slowly but, it comes nevertheless. “Oh. I have to tell her!”

“Not tonight, big man.” Rooster pushes Hangman back into his stool after he shoots up out of it. “It’s late and you’re definitely not sober enough to pull this off.”

Tomorrow, Hangman thinks, I’ll tell her first thing tomorrow.

——

After wrestling Lennon into a sweater, gathering all her toys into your bag, and packing both of your lunches, you are finally ready to wrangle her out of the house and into your car. Normally, she’s nothing but eager to head to the beach on a Sunday but, she slept poorly the night before and has been cranky all morning. The smoother the process of transporting her from one place to another, the better.

It’s going smoother than expected so far and but, of course, nothing ever goes perfectly to plan. When you open your door and come face to face with Hangman, lurking on your porch, you’re pretty sure even Lennon falters at the sight.

“Hi.” His greeting is causal, his smile subtle and soft.

“How-“ You start, your eyes darting down to Lennon clinging to your leg and back up to Jake. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long enough for your neighbors to consider me a stalker.” He tries to joke but the laugh gets lodged in his throat, coming out forced and broken. He winces at the sound, he’s probably never been this nervous in his life and his profession involves putting his life on the line so, that’s saying something.

“Well, that’s good.” You smile back and watch some of the evident tension in Hangman’s shoulders loosen. “I wouldn’t want to end up on Dateline or anything.” You laugh together naturally, as if this isn’t the awkward, unexpected encounter that it really is.

“Hi, Mister Jake.” Lennon smiles up at him from a few feet below you two.

“Hi, Miss Lennon.” Jake greets her back with a sweet smile that threatens to melt you like candle wax under a hot flame.

“Did you, uh, need something?” You ask, glancing back down to Lennon who’s still transfixed on Jake.

“No, I-“ He clears his throat. “Well, actually, yes. I-“ His eyes flicker down to Lennon. He can’t say he intended to declare his feelings in front of not only you but, your very attentive daughter as well. But he guesses it’s okay, he wants Lennon to understand to the best of her ability how much he cares for her mom.

Still, he starts to panic slightly. All of the words and phrases he rehearsed during the drive over suddenly feel like a foreign language on his tongue.

And it’s not like you don’t notice that he’s acting like a fish out of water.

You’ve known Hangman for a few months now and you’ve never seen him act like this. Fumbling for his words, slightly sweaty despite the cloud cover protecting him from the heat of the California sun, clearly he has something important to say.

You can tell he’s going to tell you that he wants more, that he wants you. You desperately want him to and despite your entire argument against continuing your hook ups being that it could risk Lennons feelings, you start to believe that if he’s serious about this, about you and her, then there’s a possibility that this could work.

You put him out of his misery by cutting him off, “Little Lenny and I were just headed to the beach.” You pat down her slightly crazy, still lingering bed head. “Want to join us?”

If this man is about to tell you that he wants a real relationship, then you need to be ensured that he’s not in it for you but, for Lennon as well. If they can spend the day together and things feel natural and good and you can see potential then maybe, just maybe, you do have a future together.

It’s just one day, you tell yourself. If it doesn’t work out then you’ll be very grateful for her toddler attention span and the comforting idea that you can’t remember a single thing from your own terrible twos.

If Jake has any disinterest in the idea, he doesn’t show it. He blinks away an expression that feigns shock before putting on his signature grin.

“I’d love to.”

——

Just because it’s late fall doesn’t mean that it isn’t beach weather in San Diego. It’s a little colder than usual, there are more cloud peppering the sky than you’d prefer but, it’s still the kind of weather that allows you to sit on the sand, watch the waves, and have a good day with your girl.

And Jake, of course.

Bringing Lennon to the beach every Sunday has been something you’ve done since the first week you moved to the area. You hoped it would help her accumulate to the climate and develop a similar love for the beach that you’ve possessed since your own childhood. She fell for it instantly.

After waiting patiently for Jake to help you set up a beach blanket, Lennon gets right into showing off all of her favorite beach toys and what she prefers to do with each. She insists in needing his help to build the ‘biggest sandcastle on any beach ever’. It sounds like a tall task but, you’re pretty sure Jake isn’t one to turn down a challenge.

You give him an encouraging nod and let your daughter steal his attention away as she so often does around others. You watch as the two dig and fill and build in the sand until it forms some resemblance of a sand castle, all while they talk and laugh and smile. They get along well, really well. It’s clear despite his over charismatic and sometimes egotistical behavior, Jake is really good with kids, your kid, and you let your heart swim in the warmth of it.

You find yourself turning away after observing some more. The way Lennon traces the features of Jakes face with her little fingers, the way she crawls on him until he’s flinging himself back into the sand with her giggling against him, you need a second away from the sight of it to really think.

One day can’t really prove anything, you know that. There will be days when Lennon isn’t in a good mood or your not or he’s not, how will your dynamic change then? All that today, this moment, is proving is that there is a chance that this could work out and you’re finally at a point in your life where you feel like you can take that chance.

After an admittedly nice stretch of time with her focus on someone else, you call Lennon over to make sure she eats and has some water. Within only an hour of filling her stomach and playing with more toys, she grows fussy and you take that as the cue that it is - time to get her home for a well earned nap. Without needing to be asked, Jake helps you clean and pack everything up like the gentleman you know he is. By the time everything is stowed away and ready to be hauled off of the sand, Lennon, being her dramatic self, can barely stand from being just so tired.

“I can carry her.” Jake speaks up, pulling your attention to him. With your hands already full, you’re not in a position to turn the offer down. You’re glad you don’t turn him down. You watch, trying to remain steady in the flimsy sand under your feet, as he scoops her up into his arms. It makes you thankful for the weight of the bags grounding you in your spot, your face may have have met the sand otherwise.

You get a full view of them walking back to the car together, you watch closely as he cradles her close to his chest, as she tucks her head against his shoulder and lets her eyes flutter shut, soaking in his warmth and safety.

Motherfucker, flame meet wax.

Lennon sleeps the entire ride home after Hangman places her into her car seat and lets you explain to him, very quietly, how to strap her in. He even offers to drive back after taking in the sight of the bags under your eyes that have grown more prominent throughout the day, you probably need a nap as bad as Lennon at this point.

During the drive, with the windows cracked just enough to let in the fresh air and the radio turned off to let Lennon rest, a comforting silence settles between you and Jake. The conversation yesterday feels like it was a distant memory, faded and blurred by the events of day, by the way he had shown up for you and your girl. You can feel the energy in what today means for you two like a tangible force in the air. You slip your fingers in between Jakes, hoping to translate some of that energy sizzling beneath your skin to him. By the way he squeezes your hand tightly in his own, you can tell he understands all the words the gesture truly means.

When you get home, Jake doesn’t hesitate in offering to take a knocked out Lennon from the car to her room and this time you don’t hesitate, even in the slightest, in letting him. You show him the way to her small bedroom and he follows all your instruction on how to tuck her in.

After you ensure that she’s all set, showing no signs of waking up anytime soon, your eyes catch Jakes figure, lingering above her to watch her sleep.

“She’s perfect, Y/N.”

The words, the sentiment, wrap around you like a blanket. Warmth settles in your chest and spreads its way through every inch of you.

As soon as Lennons door is shut, you’re rounding on Hangman and connecting your lips to his. He kisses you back instantly, encasing you in his arms to pull you against his body. How is it possible to feel both comforted and exhilarated through a kiss? The way his lips move against yours is natural, picking up on a rhythm you two have developed over time. There’s a relief in familiarity and easiness of it. But, there’s also an intense heat and hunger there. A spark that ignites no matter how accustomed you get to kissing him.

You guide him back toward your bedroom and only when you turn to shut your own door do you allow yourself to break the kiss. You’re ready to kiss him again but halt in your tracks when Jake puts out his hands.

“Before we continue this, I came here this morning to tell you something and I-“ He runs a hand through his hair before taking a deep breath. “I feel like now more than ever I need to say it.” You nod encouragingly, knowing now more than ever you’re ready to hear it.

“I don’t want this to be casual. I want all of it.” He takes a step closer to run a hand across your cheek. “I want the date nights, whether that’s going out somewhere or staying in with you and Lennon. I want the feelings, every single one. Everything I’ve felt for you since we met has been anything but casual. I want to be in Lennons life and watch her grow and help her flourish. I want you. All of you.”

You’re a little breathless by the time he adds, “I really like you, Y/N. I’m positive I could love you if you just let me.” You feel an undeniable smile peak its through the corners of your lips.

“I really like you too, Jake. I trust you, with me, with Lennon. With all of it.” Jake takes your face in his hands and smiles before connecting your foreheads. “Please, don’t let us down.”

“You and her? Never.” He kisses you then, a strong and sure kiss that tastes a lot like forever.

——