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pillarprojects-blog · 8 years ago

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Pillar 6 Project:

The “before”:

I was pretty hesitant to choose this as my Pillar 6 project due to the fact that i know i absolutely hate listening to my own voice in a recording. I feel like its almost comparable to nails on a chalkboard. Regardless of this, I decided to give myself a little bit of a push to get out of my comfort zones. There’s no time like the present! After speaking to a few other instructors in my home studios in the weeks and months leading up to this about what they did to get comfortable with things, about 80% of them told me about recording their own classes and listening to them right after teaching it. All of them said they found that once they could get through the fact of listening to themselves talk (apparently hating the sound of your own voice being recorded is pretty common??) they all were able to pick out filler words, weird cues and pretty much anything that they personally felt didn’t “fit” in the class.This month was the tail end of my community classes before i go on the schedule for normal Moksha classes, so i figured I could suck it up and give it a go. My goal of this project is to see any effects this has on my teaching and to hopefully get rid of any bad habits that are sneaking up on me in classes. One teacher even told me that even 3 years after his training, he still tries to record himself teaching once a month just to check in with how things are going! Should be a time!

Week 1

I feel like a hit pause at least 5000 times. Practicing along with the recording proved to be a little difficult. Mainly because of how every two minutes i’d have a “oh my god, is that seriously what i sound like?” moment and lose track. After a few attempts I ended up just saying “screw it” and sat down with a pen and paper and wrote out any little things that came up/stuck out. I wrote everything out in a “bullet point” style as the recording when through then after a few more attempts at getting through it i was finally able to take the class in my living room without ‘rage quitting’. Things I noticed were:

-Holy filler words. Oh my god. The biggest ones that stuck out were “UM” being #1, followed by “and then”, and “so”.

-I forgot dancers pose and abs.

-Uneasy/ unconfident voice tone. Especially during the intro, i noticed that my tone sounded almost like i was asking a question and overall, unsure of what i was doing.

-Some ques just didn’t make sense.

I feel like the majority of the things i noticed probably came up due to my nervousness of knowing I was recording myself and the fact that one of the studio managers was also taking my class so it was a huge double whammy. I think the biggest thing i want to tell myself as I conclude ‘week 1’ is to learn to take a breath and ground myself. A lot of the things that i noticed as i listened to the recording were things that i feel usually aren’t an issue for me. Part of being a good instructor is being able to roll with the punches and be able to get out of my head and be there for my students regardless of the situation/factors.

Week 2:

A LOT easier. This time i decided to take the class from start to finish without stopping. I think i’ve somewhat gotten over hearing my own voice so that was a huge improvement. During the first run through it, nothing really stuck out at me. Primarily because of that fact that I was actually taking the class as if it was a normal one so i kind of went into my head a bit. I ended up just relistening to the recording a few hours after the class so i could jot down some feedback and the main things were:

-Filler words, filler words, filler words! Why do i hear myself saying these words 20 times over but i don’t hear myself as they come out?

-Intro was a little short, forgot to encourage water but still encouraged rest. There were beginners in this class so i felt like that should have been something i stressed.

-I spoke reaaaaally fast sometimes. especially in the flows. I found it hard to keep up with some of my breath cues. This definitely showed my uneasiness.

Going back to my “Week 1” advice, learning to stop and take a breath in times that i just feel nervous and uneasy is proving to be a hard thing for me to do. It seems like such an easy thing to do but yet i still find myself either having a tone that comes off unsure or I’m just zooming through things, talking a mile a minute. where is the fricking balance? Regardless of how i still felt like i lacked a bit of confidence in this class, i noticed a HUGE improvement in my intro. Its typically what i struggle with the most. the first few words are always the hardest, but surprisingly it seemed to be my strongest area. All i really did was at the start of the class, i put myself into childs pose for a few breaths, grounded myself and was good to go! My advice for this week is to work at holding on to that and staying grounded for the entire class. To keep my breath, and breath with the class as i instruct and to over all, stop being a nervous nelly and get out of my head. (easier said than done.)

Week 3:

This week was kind of a flop. I had actually messed up my original attempt at recording this class (technical difficulties) so i ended up just having a few people over as home and taught a class in my living room. It wasn’t really what i had in mind, but a class is a class and a girls got to do what a girls got to do. There was only about 4 other people but they were pretty frequent members of moksha charlottetown which was nice. It was a little weird at first. Mainly just getting into it was a little iffy. As I was listening i noticed some filler words sneaking up. After a few minutes into it, I clearly got more used to things. The main things i noticed during this recording were:

-I was more grounded after getting a few poses in, but working at carrying that throughout the whole class is definitely a must. I kept a steady pace throughout the class and managed to keep my own breath, but i’d still like to hear a little bit more confidence in the tone. Especially in the first few moments on a class.

-Messed up breath cues a couple times. In the flow section, I got the inhales/exhales mixed up. I didn’t notice this at the time, and was only able to pick it out as i did the class.

I feel like every week I come back to the same thing. Grounding, building confidence in the room, and keeping my own breath. They seem like such easy things whenever i think of them in my head and as i write this, but the second i’m in the room, its a whole new ball game. Regardless of some of the habits i still notice sneaking up at times, i’m seeing improvements everything. The biggest thing has been stopping and taking a breath before starting. Keeping myself calm and slowing myself down as i go. I think the biggest thing was being able to catch myself using filler word. Remembering the 15 times i heard them in the recording and listening/avoiding them in my class.

Week 4

It was almost fitting for week 4. I was successfully able to get through the whole recording without stopping the entire time. This class was awesome. It was the last week of the challenge and things are finally slowing down. I had 22 people, so it was probably the first class of the month that hasn’t been packed and i was fully caffeinated. After listening to the final recording, I was pretty pleased with the progress i could see/hear in my overall steadiness and confidence. There were still a handful of times where i used filler words (mainly just “and then” ) but besides that i was enjoyed hearing it. (probably the most surprising part). The few things i’d still want to work on are:

-Being more direct with my cues. Especially when doing the second side of some postures, i notice myself throwing in cues just to fill the silence. One thing i noticed this time around, was the wordiness of things i was saying. This could be a result of my overall nervous, but its definitely something to keep an eye on.

-Filler words!!!! I’ve noticed a drastic decrease in them, but there’s still some sneaking in! I feel like the remedy for this is mainly to just stop and slow it down. Think about my words before they come out. Short but sweet!

The “after”:

Overall, I feel like this has been a fairly productive experience. it got me out of my comfort zone, and i saw some real progression in my teaching when comparing week 1 to week 4. I plan to keep it up. Taking it down to recording and critiquing my class once a month just so i can touch base and see where I’m at. There’s always room to grow and i see this as a chance to do so. Each week, i wrote my feedback in a notebook and took it with me to each class. Looked over it before going in (excluding a couple times that i forgot it) and tried to keep it in mind as i taught. 10/10 would recommend to any teacher trying to get more comfortable holding a space.

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pillarprojects-blog · 8 years ago

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Buying local: The good, the bad and the tasty.

BEFORE

What challenges do I predict? Concerns?

My primary concern is the lack of variety I’m expecting to find. It may be poor planning on my part, but I decided to do the “buy local” challenge in the winter months to see how sustainable it is. While having a bunch of different options for locally grown produce and island made products, February is typically the harshest month for us. Many storm days, and just overall, crappy conditions that make it hard to get around. This leads me to expect that the variety of stuff ill find will be fairly limited and quite expensive (prices of food skyrocket here in the winter). My other main concern being my mobility. I currently don’t drive, or have access to a car so my main source of travel is walk in the winter. We regularly get hit with 2-3 feet of snow, which makes it even harder to get around. From the research that I did regarding sources of local produce, I determined that very few are within walking distance to me. So I’m sure that’ll be something interesting to try to work around.

WEEK1

Difficulties:

As expected, transportation was a HUGE issue. While having a bus system, it doesn’t run on storm days (Any day were government offices close). We had 3 storm days alone this week, where everything was shut down so I ended up being pretty stuck for the majority of the week. Luckily I was able to go to the farmers market and grab a couple things on Sunday before the snow hit, but by Tuesday I was running low and had to do a ‘cheat day’ where I walked to a corner store to get some frozen food for that night. Downside of making it to the farmers market? It’s only open Saturdays and Sundays and nearly everything was sold out by the time I got there at noon. Very little veggies left, and what fruit did remain was a little out of my price range (strawberries were $7.99 L ) Lesson learned. Looks like my weekends of sleeping in may need to take a break for the next month!

Progress:

Despite the issues I had this week with a lack of variety in regards to produce, and the trouble I had with getting around. I managed to have some success with getting some more local food sources to add to my list! After chatting with someone with a booth at the market about how little stuff was left at the other vendors, they referred me to a market place I hadn’t heard of that’s open 12-5 Monday to Friday and sources all their products from local farms. They offered a much bigger variety, but the priced were just a little bit higher than those at the farmers market. I managed to catch a ride with a friend to the area and checked it out. LOVED every second of it. The only downside was that it’s about a 20 minute drive away from where I live so I have to buy in bulk. I’m slowly starting to get into meal planning after having a few things I bought go bad.

New things to try:

I added this section on after the week had already started. Once I started going around and looking at different things, I became pretty interested with some local products that I’ve never actually tried, due to always going with the “box store” buying. New thing this week? Locally roasted coffee. I almost regret finding it. I feel like I’m ruined for being able to drink my usual coffee from Tims. While costing $3.50 (large) it did end up being almost double the cost of my usual, the quality of it made up for the extra cost. Love at first sip. Enough said.

WEEK2

Difficulties:

Transportation is still troublesome, but slowly and surely getting used to it. We still had some storm days (2) but I actually managed to plan ahead for once. The day before we got pelted with some more snow, I dragged myself out of bed to get to the bus and did a full day of going to a few spots I’ve discovered to get everything I needed to get me through the first half of the week. Lugging 40 pounds of groceries home on a bus is definitely not something I will ever even attempt to do again but got it done! I did end up breaking down again and cheated just a little bit this week. I ended up going to a grocery store to buy almond milk. After finally finding a local brand that does it, the price difference was too much for me (local was $7 per 500ml, store bought was $375 for 2 litres). I’m starting to notice the price difference of certain things can be substantially high.

Progress

Finally motivated myself to at least try to take the bus. Discovered that my student ID actually doubles as a bus pass, so I didn’t need to pay for traveling that way which was pretty sweet. I really started to monitor what I was bringing into my home this week. After finally getting into the groove of things with finding my food sources and getting around when we have 5 feet of snow, I really hammered down on getting my meal plans in order. In the process of doing so, I started to notice some changes in my eating habits. I’m usually a serial take out offender. I love to just order pizza to spare myself the sink full of dishes. Since week one started, I’ve probably only eaten out once or twice. Both times being this week after I found some local restaurants that I stumbled across during my research. Originally, I thought money was going to be a pretty big issue for me. I kind of had this picture in my head of spending and arm and a leg for local products but I’m starting to see the balance. Even though a lot of what I’m buying is more expensive than the box store alternatives, I’m actually spending quite a bit less since I’ve started on bringing in these new things. My random spending has cut down A LOT. I’m usually the person that will go to a convince store and drop $20 on candy and call that “dinner” on a busy day. It’s definitely nice to start seeing some of the rewards of the challenge at this point.

New things I tried?

Local beer! Three words, Oh my god. We had a handful of microbreweries on the island but I always had a tendency to avoid buying the products due to the price difference. I decided to reward myself for the end of week 2 with a couple different kinds of beer to try out. This is another thing I’m somewhat regretting trying. Everything I tried was awesome. I’m usually not a huge beer drinker, but after trying them I fell in love!

WEEK3

Difficulties

Biggest problem this week? Lack of variety. Huge issue after all the storm days we had the last two weeks. When I went to the farmers market this weekend, probably only 40% of the usual vendors were there. Even with showing at at 8AM, pickings were small. I ended up leaving with just some potatoes and turnip. I had originally planned to go back the day after but we had another storm warning so they didn’t bother opening for the day. This definitely put me into a little bit of a slump. I ended up leaving somewhat cranky, wanting to go to tims for a breakfast sandwich and a coffee.

Progress

I feel like the biggest change Im noticing as I finish my third week, is how im starting to see more of a defined difference between my “wants” and my “needs”. For example, I WANT to go out and buy 5 bags of chips and not cook, but I NEED to stop being lazy and go get eggs for my breakfast. I usually drag my heels to cook myself meals. Completely dreading the mess Ill have to clean up after, but as I look back on the week im a little proud of myself for cooking at least once everyday. My meal planning helps a lot with that. After doing most of the prep needed on Monday after buying what I could, I had most things set up so that it required as little work as possible later in the week! I still consistently had a sink full of dishes all week, but its still some progress!! The biggest thing I noticed this week was the relationships im starting to build. The vendors at the market recognized me, and knew what I was there for. They even gave me samples of other random things for me to try out. It was such a nice experience. The whole interaction seems to add even more value to the product. Seeing who is growing it, and seeing my money go back directly into their pocket. Makes the whole experience feel more personal.

New thing I tried?

Local, organic caoca chocolate. I feel like this is everything I’ve been looking for in my life. Or at least what I’ve been looking for the last 3 weeks. There was a new vendor at the market this week. A lovely lady and her sister were sell their handmade chocolates, even the mint in and on them was grown in their garden. For someone with a HUGE sweet tooth, this was a blessing. So much of a blessing that I spent $20 on a bunch of different ones she had so I could try everything that night. No shame!

WEEK4

Difficulties

Being picky! For some reason, when I went shopping this week I had a hard time settling on anything. Most of this was probably a result of my own laziness. This was the week that I decided to branch out and try some more of those local restaurants I had added to my list. I did end up spending quite a bit more because of how much I ate out but overall I enjoyed everything and it seemed to get me out of my lazy, cranky slump. Lesson of the week? Laziness is your own worst enemy!!!

Progress

It’s been really dark and gloomy here this week. Switching between raining and snow. Worst combo EVER. I fell into a little bit of a lazy streak but managed to drag myself out of it. New vendor this week at the farmers market with locally made organic cacao chocolates, so that was definitely the boost I needed. My intake of crappy food has decreased A LOT. I have such a sweet tooth and love chips way too much but with only buying local, I find its hard to find a variety of that tip of food. Tried chips from a local company and hated them, and same deal with some other sweets and goodies.

AFTER

What challenges did I face?

Transportation was a huge factor. Paired with the terrible weather we ended up having and my lack of planning seemed to be my biggest challenge throughout the month. One of my original, bigger concerns was money and the cost associated with buying local. I’d say about 60% of the products I bought we more expensive than what you would purchase in a grocery store. Regardless, with only buying local I was more selective with what I purchase and my random spending cut down A LOT. So I ended up saving some money (YAY). Certain products were out of my price range so I broke down and cheated a little bit (berries and almond milk) and there was very little local fruit, (box of strawberries cost 9.99).

Final progress report:

Over all it was a good experience, saved some money. Found some new favorite things. I learned to meal plan to an extent, AND found sources for local products that I probably wouldn’t have found without giving this a go! While things were more expensive, I found the quality was better and overall had more appreciation for the products after talking to some of the people that grew it themselves. The customer relationships I established with extremely valuable. I think ill try to keep it going, (with a few exceptions). I feel that the relationships built from this practice are definitely one of the most attractive things in regards to keeping up these habits. I made some new friends, and I discovered that I really enjoyed being able to put a face to what I was buy. I would rate the whole experience as a 8/10 and I’ll definitely be making an effort to continue J

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pillarprojects-blog · 8 years ago

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Wheel of Life: Part Two.

How am I imbalanced? What steps can I take to correct this (if needed)

Romance -9

I had to spend a bit longer reflecting on this section than the others. I often have mixed feelings about this area of my life. At first i immediately came to the conclusion that I was a 9/10. The more i thought about the whole picture, i started to see the imbalances and imperfections. I made myself a promise that I wasn’t going to change my original score after i thought about it and started noticing the ‘little things’. I’m incredibly lucky to have a lovely partner. Carson and I have been together for about two years and have managed to keep a pretty solid relationship. We usually spend the majority of our time together (excluding work and such) and live together; leaving very little time apart. After weighing these factors into consideration i immediately thought “yup, definitely a solid 9/10″. Once i started reflecting on this optimistic score, i quickly began to see the downfalls to it. With romance being a very large part of my life, it opens me up to the risk taking away from other areas of life. Even missing out on opportunities and experiences because i dedicate so much time and energy to it. When you’re committed to spending all your time with one person, you can tend to forget about number one. When I was trying to think of ways to ‘correct’ the imbalance, my mind immediately went to the most obvious option. Stop spending so much time focusing on this area. Going more in-depth, i reached to the conclusion that maybe i need to dedicate more of my time to personal growth. Whether it be, just spending more time on my own or even picking up a new hobby.

Fun -4

I feel like this section of my life has been lacking a lot lately. I like to think that i have a pretty fun life for the most part. It seems like this year i’ve just gotten into a lazy slump. I have been at battle with the winter blues (spoiler: they’re winning). I’ve been resenting and blaming the cold weather for me feeling the need to stay inside. Which has been resulting in resentment towards myself for being lazy, and not motivating myself to get out of my apartment and do all the things I usually would have been doing. I love the snow. I’m a pretty frequent skier, and i love the winterized trails we have. It’s not like there’s a lack of stuff to do. It’s more so my mind being my own worst enemy. With the new year coming i’d really like to see this turn around. Maybe it’s because i’m working less, or maybe even because this summer was extremely busy and i’m burnt out. Either way, i want to give myself a push to motivate myself to do more. We only have so much time. Better make the most of it!

Health -7

I’m actually pleasantly surprised by how pleased i am with this area of my life right now. I have a tendency to struggle to keep up with healthy habits and activities. Since getting back from my Level 1 training, i’ve managed to stay on track for the most part (i’m still a sucker for ice cream). My eating habits have improved quite a bit from my usual take out and left overs routine. In addition to this, i’ve really dived into my personal yoga practice (YAY!) and have been working on getting back into running on the warmer days. My health has been something that constantly fluctuates. This is one of the few areas in my life that I feel balanced in and i’m incredibly happy about it. Instead of thinking about what i could do to bring more balance, I tried thinking of what I needed in order to sustain these new habits and practices. When it came down to it, laziness is my worst enemy. I find it so easy to justify eating out, or skipping out on a run. Whether it be tiredness, or having work to do that they. Ultimately, what I need to bring into my life is motivation.

Finance -6

Finances and money matters related are always a huge worry for everybody in life. For the last few years it was something i was constantly fixated on to the point that it controlled and influenced my life. I found myself constantly worrying about car payments, student loans, bill, and all that fun stuff. Even though I was bring in enough income to keep myself above water, this bills were a constant worry floating around in my head. It got to the point that I was letting this area of my life completely dictate my plans and decisions based on how fast a could pay something of. This may not seem like the worst thing in the world, but eventually it starts to wear you thin. Earlier this year, i came to the conclusion that I’m always going to owe someone money and that theres no point in spending all of your time trying to get ahead while drowning yourself in stress. I like to think that’s the balance i needed for this area in my life. I experience A LOT less stress, and i’m more willing to venture out and do more with myself. I still have my student loans, car payments, and bills but they’re more in the back of my head now instead of running my life.

Career -6

For the last few years this part of my life has kind of been the great ‘unknown’. I never really had any clue what i wanted to be growing up. I never wanted to be a fire-woman, or a doctor. Not much has changed in regards to that as an adult. At this point in my life, i feel like I’m finally starting to smooth out some of the bumps along my path. This path that i’ve fallen on has led me to meet some great people, who are doing some even greater things. Last year, I would have never thought that I would end up where i am, doing the things i am. With work at the studio starting up in a couple weeks, i’ve become quite happy with how things are right now. Compared previous years, i’m in a complete different place; Mentally and physically. Up until earlier this year, i was working a service job that i never really enjoyed, or felt rewarded in. I dropped out of university and overall, had no clue what I was doing. I feel like i’ve really made an effort to better myself in this part of my life through pushing myself to try new things and live to learn. In addition to the new job prospects at my home Moksha studio (YAY!), I’ve begun the process to upgrade some of my classes in order to get into the LPN program at the local university. When I was trying to decide what i needed to do to get myself on track it came down to education. All of this new things going on have been extremely nerve-racking, but totally friggin’ awesome at the same time. Even though things are constantly changing around us, and you never really know whats going to happen. I feel like this is one of the few parts of my life that i’ve found some balance in.

Social -8

This ended up being another section that i originally believed i was doing quite well in. This was actually the first section I scored myself in because i firmly believed that it was a no brainer. When I began the reflection for this section, I started seeing characteristics similar to ‘romance’ . If i’m not with my partner, i’m with my friends. At first, it didn’t really seem like a negative thing. I always love being around people and having a busy(ish) social life. How could spending too much time with friends and family create an imbalance? I’ve realized that between work, spending time with my partner and friends, I leave very little time for myself. Just how i like it. Doing this section made me realize that I have a tendency to need to have people around, and if i don’t i feel bored and even irritated about the situation. Even though it’s important to have these social interactions, personal space is even more important. I think that by constantly busying myself, i’m actually starting to take away from my personal growth. The steps i’d need to take to reach balance in this area of my life seem quite simple, easy peasy. But it’s always easier said than done. I’d like to take a step back and maybe spend less time surrounding myself with others and more time just hanging out with myself. You should enjoy your own company, before you enjoy someone elses.

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