whatcourageisleft

[whatcourageisleft]

It is so fucking exhausting fighting your brain every day dude

[whatcourageisleft]

[whatcourageisleft]

i’m not sleepy in a cute way but in a chronic depression and insomnia way 

[whatcourageisleft]

Okay okay okay okay okay okay okay

If I could stop feeling anxious now and be able to breathe that’d be gr8

[whatcourageisleft]

Anyone get that “my childhood was stolen and it’s not fair” kind of angry

[whatcourageisleft]

“if somebody becomes panicked when you accuse them of lying theyre obviously not telling the truth” shut up ugly im a survivor who got punished for shit i never did all the time of fucking course im gonna panic when im blamed for something i didnt do

[whatcourageisleft]

I need a fucking cigarette like no tomorrow - and I really hope there isn’t one.

[whatcourageisleft]

I’m proud.

… that I could faint because of staying too long in the shower

… that I could starve until I see the lights flicker

… that I could throw up even the tiniest bit of my dinner

… that I could cut the words in my arms “Kill her.”

… that no one sees my struggle, for it means I am only getting stronger, that they are wrong, that I’m not wrong, that I could continue killing myself

slowly…

slowly…

help me. (not)

My scars are getting bigger, the cuts are getting deeper, and my smiles are getting warmer.

Closer…

closer…

I’m no longer ashamed.

The number is going down.

And so is my life draining down the sink like my breakfast in the toilet bowl.

Call me home.

Because here I know, I don’t belong.

[whatcourageisleft]

[whatcourageisleft]

[whatcourageisleft]

Going through old pics on here is making me want to cut so bad, shit. I miss the blood. And the burn. And the numbness. And the healing. And the pink-y scars before fading into white.

Just fucking give it to me

[whatcourageisleft]

[whatcourageisleft]

[whatcourageisleft]

~To this Day-Shane Koyczan~

[whatcourageisleft]

[whatcourageisleft]

[whatcourageisleft]