pillowthoughtsofawallflower-blog - Tumblr blog

[pillowthoughtsofawallflower-blog]

If my son was like him, I don’t know how I’d feel. I wouldn’t want my child to see me being spoken to so inadequately and for him to grow up thinking it’s acceptable 🤔

[pillowthoughtsofawallflower-blog]

Blogging for Dummies

Hey there! First time EVER writing a blog so let’s give it a go.

So I’ve been feeling like I’m not actually me lately... It’s like, I have this body and life but my mind doesn’t match it.

I’m finding it difficult to concentrate and to find motivation for simple tasks such as showering.

Yes I have had concealed depression for just over a decade, with it only being brought to light by professionals when I decided it was getting out of hand in 2015. Was put on anti-depressants but I think my system got used to them last month and I started going downhill again - so was moved on to low mood and anxiety tablets. So far so good!

I do have a couple of supportive friends, but it’s difficult when everyone is struggling with their own demons... I don’t want to be seen as a burden.

Some friends even dump their emotional baggage on me, and I openly listen, but do not get a “how have you been” in return regardless of them knowing my situation, which infuriates me.

My boyfriend (let’s call him Alex for the sake of staying anonymous), is a good person deep down, but he doesn’t understand when I get low. Says he’s sick of tiptoeing around my feelings and would rather go out and cheer himself up then see me as I was “getting him down aswell”.

Other things have went on with him, which leads me to the notion of classing it as emotional abuse. Or am I overthinking and being too sensitive?

Self-help books are really the only thing going strong for me atm.

Naps also help! And the new Marshmello song makes me feel ALL my feels👇🏼

Ciao for now!