pinkcoloredwings - Tumblr blog

[pinkcoloredwings]

Solitariness.

Sometimes I hate being alone, yet sometimes I love being alone. Nowadays, I love me and my solitariness. I used to think, “What would I do if I don't have a lover?” but now, see, I'm doing just fine. Perfectly fine, if I may add.

In days, I might be thinking about it again—to have someone, a lover, by my side. But, then, again, I love my current state. It feels.. free.

“All of the love I see living inside of me.”

[pinkcoloredwings]

From Now On, Don't Let Me Down.

Despite all the men that have been letting me down for whatever reason, I stil believe that in a relationship, both sides shall be happy and understanding, and I will find the one in anytime soon. One guy let me down because he was into someone else, another guy let me down by telling me we're not anything serious, and I let myself down for meeting them. But meeting them wasn't exactly a bad experience. In fact, I do think that it's a meaningful lesson in life that I should not be settling with anything less than the standards I originally set.

“Did I ever tell you that I'm not doing well?”

[pinkcoloredwings]

She's Loved.

She loves him, and not only because he became her boyfriend. She loves him, his personality, his traits, his cute stickers that makes her want to eat him up, the way he talks to her, the way he jokes around, the way he calls her “Woy” whenever she's acting up—everything about him.

He makes her feel good about herself. He makes her gain her confidence again. He makes her feel happy. He doesn't make her feel sad. He gives me things she has never received before. He makes her feel things she has never felt before. On top of it all, he makes her feel loved.

Oh, Gosh. He's just her type. She wants him, and she wants him all over again.

“He likes my American smile, like a child when our eyes meet. Darling, I fancy you.”

[pinkcoloredwings]

Come Over Before You Lose Me.

You left me hanging, and never would I have thought it would make me feel empty. I might be starting to develop feelings for you; I might find myself longing for you. I did all of this without even realizing it. It's amusing how I never noticed before that I was expecting something from you. Perhaps, all along, I had been expecting you to reciprocate the feelings I have for you.

This is screwed up, I'm screwed up, and I need you to come over. I wish you would.

“How long could we be a sad song? ‘Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?”

[pinkcoloredwings]

The Space Between Us.

My bad, that was my bad.

Letting you in wasn't on my list, until you, somehow, convinced me to let you in. I believe it's not your fault, it's on me. And before everything gets more complicated, I choose to leave, slowly. You won't even notice it.

Your presence brought me happiness, that was at first. As the time goes by, you seem to be more focused on yourself and your whole story, not letting me to get involved in those conversations, not to the slightest bit. I get it, I said, “Okay, go on.” That wasn't a lie. In fact, indeed, I wanted to hear you out for at least once to decide where should I stand, where do I belong here, where am I—definitely not inside your head or heart.

The moment I know the truth, I was devastated. All the things I've sacrificed, which I believe you don't even know that I did for you, now mean nothing.

Darling, I can't get in. You won't let me, I won't let you anymore either, and this is my wishful thinking.

I wish I didn't let you in, I wish I didn't remove the space between us. Now I'm constantly running away.

“I pull away and reassess, gotta protect me...”

[pinkcoloredwings]

Home.

I've been questioning myself a lot these days. I thought to myself, “Why am I feeling lonely and anxious whenever I'm home?” This feeling is true, and it starts to disappear when I come back to where I belong; not a home but probably smells more like home.

Home is supposed to be where I feel safe and alive, home is probably just right here.

“I'm coming home...”

[pinkcoloredwings]

I believed that I will get through everything if I put my mind and efforts on it, and I still believe it up until now.

[pinkcoloredwings]

I Loved.

At last, I bid my farewell. A goodbye to you, the person I used to call home. I used to tell you, “Anchor up to me, love.” I did. You were the embodiment of everything that I desired. Nonetheless, if I can be brutally honest, my heart still aches a little when I hear your name, when I listen to our songs playing on the radio, when I remember the way you're being soft and gentle to me, when I look at today's calendar and it's supposed to be our day, when I find a black obsidian, when I decide to seek for calmness and walk along the seashore; everything just reminds me of you. It's much certain that you don't realize I'm walking away, at least for now, but I am. In fact, my dear, I don't feel the warmness anymore. I can't feel the warmth of your love – you just don't love me anymore. It's a fact that I need to liveby, and I'm alright. Not literally alright, but will be, soon. I won't find another you, as everyone is one of a kind, and you too. I will only find someone who can love me with their whole heart, with sincerity. But I loved you, I swear I did.

“My dear, is it all we've ever been?”

[pinkcoloredwings]

Morning Sweet Scent.

It's been a while. I swear it's been a huge while. Hence, my morning has never felt this lovely. Waking up with your presence is like smelling a sweet scent in the morning. You, baby. You're the sweet scent that I've been yearning. I want to keep you by my side, intertwining our fingers as we lay down on the bed we made, staring into your eyes and get sucked deeply into it. My morning sweet scent, thank you for coming into my life.

“The world is lighting up...”

[pinkcoloredwings]

The Prettiest Lady As Per Today.

My lady, my Karina Yoo.

Little baby is looking absolutely stunning in her recent “Everyday” dance challenge. I can't help but play her video on repeat; she captivates my attention, making me feel amazed throughout the whole video. The definition of perfection she is: her look, her dance, her smile, everything. The only lady who can make me feel in love today. The prettiest, my prettiest Karina.

“Breathe me in, breathe me out, fill me up...”

[pinkcoloredwings]

Jatuh Cinta Seperti di Film-Film.

Nothing much to say other than I'm in love with the movie poster and the movie trailer. It gives off the calming and romantic vibes, with a hint of dramatic and comedy scenes. I will put this one on my watchlist for all the obvious reasons. 🤍

[pinkcoloredwings]

Hearthrobbing.

I wasn't planning to come across you. I was certain that we're not supposed to meet, but we did. I made up my mind to come to you, that was on me. We met, enganged on small talks, and all that; our encounter brought a smile to my face. You seemed delicate, what a sweet not-so little thing. You, my hearthrob, lead me to an idea of a happily ever after fairytale.

“I'm quickly fallin' and it feels natural...”

[pinkcoloredwings]

My Mr. Perfect, wait, are you?

It's funny how you used to brighten up my day and night, lighting up a smile to my face. You were my Mr. Perfect, you were everything I dreamed of, my dream man. Now I can't even look at you and feel alright. But I'm alright without your presence, and I will always keep it that way.

“Threw a kiss, I bit you off...”