pinkpooled

[pinkpooled]

Emma Myers on The Tonight Show  - January 4 2023

[pinkpooled]

↪ ᵀᴴᴱ 𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾 , ꮲꭲ 2 . (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  1  of fox's sitcom ,  “ the mick ” adjust phrasing as necessary . )

damn , [ name ] , how many cars can one person crash ?

i can't help it — when i'm behind the wheel , i'm a slave to the power of the machine .

other people worked very hard to buy those cars , and now they're mine .

why you gotta put me in a cage ?

i'm not a rat , okay ?

shut up , you don't know what you're talking about .

i am NOT joking , i don't wanna do this .

guys , we don't snitch . that's it , end of story .

will you listen to yourself ?? "jUsT tElL tHe tRuTh"

[ name ] , you snitch you die !

pretty sure that was already there when i walked up .

how is this good news ?

everyone's gonna call me a traitor , like you .

don't worry about it , it was worth it .

what are you doing tomorrow night ?

just say the words , and it can be yours .

oh , it's like that , huh ? fine .

what was that ? i can't hear you ... you can't breathe ?

you better figure something out , 'cause if you don't — i'll have to go public with this .

that's called extortion , stupid !

those guys are just covering their own asses , they don't even like you .

as easily as i can save you in this world , i can destroy you .

if anybody messes with you , let us know - okay ?

with a dong like that , you'd think he'd be happier .

do i look like i'm playing , [ last name ] ?

oh , your breath reeks of booze .

i hope you have a plan .

i was up all night watching prep school movies in preparation .

there are some real evil illuminati-type vibes in here , right ?

there was a time i could see , and i have seen .

oh , i'm just getting warmed up .

we are but food for worms , gentlemen .

whose burrito did i just step in ?

get out of here , the tv's mine .

what did you do to my shirt ??

how would you feel if i ran around stealing your clothes ?

we had to kill him cause he wasn't a team player .

no more special treatment for you .

i grew up in squalor , i am perfectly comfortable in it .

[ name ] , don't you dare !

didn't know you were gonna be so weird about it .

if you decide that you don't want me around , just tell me and i will go .

you're not the only game in town , buddy , okay ?

you don't know who i hang out with .

jealousy is the reason people hate us .

you don't have to worry about labels , just like who you like .

i hope this is some sort of emergency .

you kept me waiting , so i'm gonna get right to it .

don't make this your thing , this is [ name's ] thing .

suing is how rich white people solve their problems .

i wanted to sing and show you there's nothing to be afraid of .

i'm so nervous for you ... i want to throw up and run away .

you could have me escorted out , but you have no security .

ooh , dark scary room ! you know what they call that in prison ? they call that a blind spot . great place to catch a shiv .

what kind of operation are you running here ?

you didn't do anything wrong . i was the problem , not you .

where i'm from , the guest gets the good seat .

i drink , smoke , lie , steal ... i'm drunk right now .

i will ruin him . please don't let me do that .

i'm not the one doing whatever you guys are doing ... what are you doing ?

i'm not judging , at least he's a hot mess .

it's the wolf's job to eat the sheep , so y'know ... this was bound to happen .

i will RUIN you when we get home .

i'll give it back to you in a minute , you're gonna get it back .

the suit you destroyed cost a grand !

come on , [ name ] . i'll help you get settled .

he can't know it was my idea .

she made her mean bed and she can sleep in those scratchy sheets .

woah , tough day at the office ?

what the hell did you just say to me ?

you are right ... no matter what you say about anything .

we do this all the time , but usually there's some art to it .

this is not nearly as fun as i thought it was gonna be .

you're letting a bunch of nerds pick on you with their computers ?

why don't you just systematically destroy her ?

i can see where this is headed , so i'm just gonna hit the road .

she ripped me open , stuffed me full of devastation and then sewed me back up again .

leave me alone , this is all your fault .

why are they yelling ? are they angry cause they're bad musicians ?

i will never understand your generation .

let me have it . how bad is it ?

do you have any idea what i saw in there ?

you should come and check out what's going on outside , cause i think you'll be pleasantly surprised .

i just want us to be friends again .

it would be such a silly waste of time for someone like me to be mad at someone as insignificant as you .

the truth is , i pity you .

when the universe gives you a sign , it's not up to you to ignore it .

[ name ] gave it to me . it means i'm in charge .

i'm not comfortable with the whole arrangement . where's [ name ] ?

this is outrageous ! i'm getting passed over again ?

i don't have a problem , i'm just blowing off some steam .

you wanna get in on this ?

you deserve to take a time out as much as anybody else .

sorry , i didn't realize you were the fun police .

having money has reaaally changed you .

i've lost control ?! oh no , you dumb , dumb idiot . YOU'VE lost control .

that's a gross overreaction .

i will show myself the door in a ... graceful and classy manner .

thanks for sticking around .

look , i realize i did some questionable things in there .

i just felt like the universe was giving me a sign .

i'm the only one worthy of its power !

keep it in your pants and follow my lead .

it's no offense , i just don't know you very well .

let's go over this one more time , just so we're clear .

we've already been over the terms .

what's in it for you ?

i like the element of surprise .

wasn't expecting that . are you okay ?

i saw a burglar , i didn't know what to do ... so i SMOKED his ass !

you SHOT me ! what the hell's the matter with you ?

that gunpowder's like a hundred years old , it probably just broke the skin .

what about the police ? they're expecting a gunshot victim .

guys , we've gotta move this along , okay ?

you got it , i'll get you a pillow .

you're lucky no one was killed .

here's the thing about the bordeaux ... i drank it .

i'm so sorry that you had to keep our mansion warm .

how do you think the police found them ?

if you're done criticizing me , i think i'll head on up to bed .

you want me to do the jobs no one else wants ?

can we pick this up tomorrow ? i was shot , so ... i'm very tired .

it has nothing to do with that . okay ? now please leave .

i wanted to thank you for having my back earlier .

that had nothing to do with you . i was just trying to hurt them .

it's chloroform . i found a recipe online .

[ name ] , don't come at me with that .

i was gonna do whatever it takes . i'm not a quitter.

i wanna tell you , i really do . but first there's something i need .

oh my god , you're bailing again .

innocent people don't sneak in and out of their own home .

'cause i don't like you , that's why .

i'd rather get mowed down in a hellfire of bullets than listen to you screech .

you don't have to lie . i heard you guys .

how was i supposed to know you were gonna hug me ? i didn't even know you knew how to hug .

[pinkpooled]

gwen uses her own fortnite skin btw

[pinkpooled]

@ladyspool: did you bring any weed?

you blink. you tilt your head. you wonder if you would get shot for asking her where her wolverine baby is. you decide against it. plot armor only goes so far.

“ uh — no. ” part of you wants to try and look through the panels of the comic to see if you’re going to acquire weed, because you’ve never smoked but it always sounded fun. can you even have weed with interdimensional travel ? who knows. instead you shake your head, take fate into your own hands. how fun !! “ wanna go get some with me ? ” a big grin. this is like harold and kumar go to white castle but the white castle is … a dispensary ? and the sliders are weed. and maybe it’s nothing like that at all, actually. oh well ! your writer never claimed to know that much pop culture.

[pinkpooled]

@telekuntic: this mirror is gaslighting me.

“ hm ? ” you pause your ministrations — drawing a cute heart on your big toenail with the hot pink nail art bottle emma had in her top drawer (she’s used to this. it’s fine.) — to look up. pink hair flows around you as you tilt your head, brows furrowing for just a moment at the image in the mirror.

“ it looks like a fun house mirror. ” it’s beautiful, of course, because it’s emma, but it’s clear it’s warping. a little huff of a laugh, “ what happened ? isn’t like, everything you own supposed to be perfect ? ”

[pinkpooled]

@deweaponize: i have an extra shirt you can wear.

“ oh. thank you. ” you don’t know why you sound so surprised. you and laura are friends (self-proclaimed by you about a month ago, you think she’s warming up). she’s much nicer than she thinks she is, and you’re apparently more awkward than you think you are. you contemplate ripping the page out of this comic and starting fresh; nice gestures are weird for you. raw and unfamiliar.

you almost want to say you’re fine, you don’t need it, but you’d be lying. turns out saving the world actually makes you really sweaty, and you don’t want to wear the bloody suit again after a shower. so you nod. “ is it cute ? if i look stupid i’ll be really, really sad. ”

[pinkpooled]

@telekuntic: you have a lot of weird knowledge.

“ well — ” do you think she knows ? she probably knows.

being around jean unsettles you, majorly; it’s similar to the way you feel about good ol’ chuckie. she can peer inside your head, peel back the layers and layers of fake garbo you’ve decided constitutes your “mutant backstory”, finger quotes finger quotes, is. you swallow thick and shrug, hands clasped behind your back, and do a little bounce on the balls of your feet.

“ i’ve been told i’m very smart. i won my third grade spelling bee, even. ” untrue, you lost. you were largely unremarkable because you never lived up to your potential. also you forgot to capitalize ‘Thanksgiving’.

[pinkpooled]

* while gwen knows characters’ comic + movie lore extensively, this only extends to canon characters. if she meets an original character, she won’t know anything about them, and it both confuses and frightens her ! she may also give writing props in her own internal dialogue, wondering how you managed to make an oc so perfectly fit for the universe 🩷

[pinkpooled]

@wolvify: i don't know how to block people.

“ thats — oh, wolvie, let me see. ” of course you’re going to help him. that’s the fucking wolverine. comic nerds everywhere would be creaming their pants and going into some type of logan-induced shock if they were in your situation. suck it, nerds.

a quick look beyond your current panel to stick your tongue out and throw a peace sign up (side note: please do not look at me like that?) while he stares at his phone like it owes him money and won’t pay up. you hold your hand out for the phone, holding it up gingerly when it’s placed into palm, “ i’ll show you while i do it, ‘kay ? make sure to remember, because you won’t always have a social media aficionado around, i don’t think laura knows how to block people either. ” don’t make fun of him for being old, don’t make fun of him for being old, don’t —

[pinkpooled]

@deweaponize: i have about two weeks of sobbing i haven't gotten around to yet.

ohhh, right. right. there’s an adamantium skeleton six feet (more like 5.7) under and a very, very dead wolverine. god, you cried so much to that you thought you’d submerge your whole room; no dice, though, just too many pints of ice cream to count and a tear-stained comic panel. as you sit next to laura you remove the mask (she deserves to see your face, you think), inch a little closer to sit. not too close, you don’t want her to think you’re weird. but your fingers flex because you want to hug her.

“ how are you … dealing ? ” you think that’s a stupid question to ask, and you’re awkward and bumbling with it, but you want to help. or at least try to. your heart aches in the way it so often does (like someone shoved a fist in your chest and squeezed), but you know laura’s private. you pivot. “ been eating and stuff, right ? i can come over and make food if you need. it’ll be burnt, though. ” note from the author: please do not trust her with fire.

[pinkpooled]

[pinkpooled]

It's a small detail but I love that Gwenpool's resemblances to Deadpool are canonically all entirely coincidental. She wears a Deadpool-like costume because her tailor misunderstood her name and thought it was a reference. She uses swords because in one of her first appearances she fought a guy who uses swords and she wanted to match. She doesn't even have a healing factor. She doesn't even like Deadpool

[pinkpooled]

Gwen Poole from Fort Night

[pinkpooled]

i am homeless if this is not my home.

dialogue prompts from i am homeless if this is not my home by lorrie moore.

i suffer stage fright everywhere but the stage.

i am braced at every turn for disenchantment.

i sort of remember you.

i am here for you and with you.

what is there to be bitter about?

people don't think i know who they are.

reminiscence is an earache.

i am personally unreconciled to just about everything.

i have about two weeks of sobbing i haven't gotten around to yet.

i am so burned out.

do you remember that day?

all 'good' usually means is that someone got lucky.

i don't believe in 'good' anything.

there was no one heroic in my entire ancestral line, i'm pretty sure.

it's easier to speak when you don't have to look at people.

i didn't think you'd live this long.

i never really closed out the tab on ___.

i'm ostensibly more myself, or building up that way.

all that wanting's going to wear you out.

you? feel sorry for me?

i'm so sorry this is happening to you.

every marriage has a sinister little wobble in it.

i thought you might win. i really did.

jesus. i thought you were here to cheer me up.

the real story is never the official one.

if it adds up too neatly, it probably isn't correct.

be careful. you'll hear from HR.

democracy is a fine idea, but we've never actually had it.

did you bring any weed?

i miss you already.

i can't just come home.

i still have some things i want to tell you.

failure is a form of vacation.

i've never been good at connecting dots.

photos are a weird form of time travel.

why were you working so late?

may i kiss you?

you may want to sit down.

we were never on the same page at the same time.

are you trying to hug me?

i don't know how to block people.

i guess i'm like a bad penny. always turning up.

i guess death is kind of a spectrum.

did you think i had forgotten you?

changes of heart are my superpower.

aren't you happy to see me?

are you going to make me do a ted talk about my devious inner world?

it's hard to forgive what you've turned me into.

didn't you try to forget me?

your vitals are not so vital.

i did nothing but want you.

this mirror is gaslighting me.

you never really know where anybody is.

is this a dream? where am i?

i think this is a crime in several states.

it's not the prayer, it's the things you do to move the prayer along that give the prayer a fighting chance.

faith is not about argument.

i want my death to be helpful, even if it turns out it's not. i want to try to be helpful.

did you really die?

are you joking? sometimes i can tell, but not always.

we were each other to each other. not everyone can say that.

i'm sorry that i failed you.

is there something you'd like to share with the class?

you're going to carry me?

i'm a lot of things i didn't tell you.

life is a tough room.

where would we be without music?

i think i should be wearing sunglasses.

hang on. i'm going to sweep you off your feet.

sorry if i resemble a swamp person.

it's not haunted or anything.

i don't keep the shotgun loaded.

if anything seems not to work, just kick it, smack it, or unplug it then plug it back in.

now would be the time to cry.

i have an extra shirt you can wear.

here with you. this is my home.

the dead prefer the company of the living.

do we have a safe word?

you have a lot of weird knowledge.

i know this is too soon, but i do believe i love you.

don't you love farce?

my bad. i thought that you'd want what i want.

i want you in the world, where you belong.

i'm just a bump in your road.

i will miss your rogue and random energy.

tell people i was fun.

listen to me. everything is going to be okay.

you're just going to leave me here?

i realize it's over, but i can't let go.

[pinkpooled]

bambi’s interpretation of gwendolyn ‘gwen’ poole, also known as gwenpool. affiliated with sabrina, ripley, & liv. dni if you aren’t a mutual on @redpooled.

biggest rule, dni if not mutuals on my main. i have no clue what im doing here!!! i dont want to be perceived by the greater public!

gwen is functionally omnipotent. she knows everything about all characters, and can access spaces between comic panels, pages, etc. with that being said, she probably will not tell your character that she knows everything about them, but will just think it. you’d think this would make her win all her fights, but no — she is very vulnerable physically!

gwen is not a deadpool variant, she is a human from our world that got isekai’d into the marvel universe. she doesn’t even particularly like that guy. i am currently reading gwen’s comics and employed with her thick ass wiki, so as of now gwen is a human who, after nearly being forgotten in the comics universe, rewrote her universe so she had always existed as a mutant who allied with the x men. that is not her true origin and when she says that she is eating hot chip and lying.

also she’s autistic. yeah.

shipping (in the traditional way) will not take place on this blog, as gwen is aroace. that being said, she has hormones, and if the need occurs, will act on them. she also values deep friendships with people & doesn’t necessarily hate romance, but it is very, very rare to feel that with someone (so if i do ship with anyone on this blog, it’ll probably be exclusive). yay for platonic soulmatism!

um. idk. more maybe later. why am i doing this.