pintobug

[pintobug]

I need a pregnancy scare Joel where like reader is freaked out bc she’s scared it’ll change things between them. Joel obviously calms reader down and is like no no never and then proceeds to get absolutely filthy bc he wants to “make it stick” please and thank you.

bellatopo25... thank you for this and your continued patience. i hope this is gives you what you need! wc: 4.3k tags: joel miller x fem!reader, established relationship, p in v, oral sex f!receiving, pregnancy scare, breeding kink, lil bit of a size kink, HBO joel or game joel- you pick!, i imagine joel and the reader to be closer in age, maybe late 20s and early 30s but no age is specified. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y’alright, darlin’?” Joel drawls with his brows sewn together.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You whip your head over to him with narrowed eyes, voice sharper than needed.

Joel paused loading the last few bags into the cabin of his truck to give you a blank look.

“What?” You ask while raising your eyebrows.

He shakes his head with a soft sigh, placing the bags in there and shutting the door.

“Kick the air on. It’s hot.” He tosses you the keys while turning to push the cart back to its return spot.

You grab the keys out of the air and roll your eyes when you turn, climbing into the passenger seat and reaching over the console to stick the keys in the ignition and turn them. The engine rumbles and you turn the dial for the AC. You almost gag when it first blows the hot air right back into your face.

“Kick the air on, it’s hot.” You grumble to yourself, turning your lips into a frown to mock his permanent scowl. “Like I don’t fucking know that.” You continue, picking at your thumb nails while Joel settles into the driver's side.

You can see him looking at you from the corner of your eye and it’s pissing you off. For no reason. He hasn’t done anything that he can remember, or that you can remember for that instance. But there's just a nagging feeling deep in your stomach and the way he’s breathing is pissing you off right now.

“Y’wanna order from that taco place tonight?” Joel glances over his shoulder at you before pulling away.

“Why would we order? We just went shopping.” You barely look at him while gesturing to the bags behind your seat.

Joel grunts and shrugs his shoulders.

What the fuck was he doing? You quickly dart your eyes over to him before focusing back to picking around your nails, just wanting to be home and out of whatever mood you’re stuck in.

“Yeah. But I know you like that place when.. Y’know..” He trails off and glances at you before turning back to the road.

You pinch your face in confusion, looking up from your nails but still not at him- just straight ahead into the dashboard. You’re honestly speechless for a moment because you know if you open your mouth right away it won’t be nice. You suck in a deep breath and exhale, letting your shoulders relax.

“When do I like it?” You finally ask in a short breath.

“When you have your period.” Joel says a little quieter while keeping his eyes on the road.

“I don’t have my period.” you say flatly, annoyed that he’d even say that.

“Y’don’t?”

“No, Joel. I don’t.” You retort, laced with tone.

“Hm.” He grunts, slowly nodding his head.

The drive is silent for the next few moments, other than the soft hum of the air and the occasional grunt from his truck.

“Shouldn’t you?” He speaks up once stopping at a red light.

“What?” You bite.

“Have your period. Shouldn’t you?” He asks while his thick brows saddle together.

“Are you serious right now?” You turn towards him in your seat while he slowly starts driving again once the light turns green.

“Yeah, baby.”

He says it so simply that it digs under your skin.

“I’m not supposed to have it for a while.” You narrow your eyes at him.

“Then what is botherin’ you? Actin’ like I pissed in your wheaties this mornin’ or somethin’.”

You groan and toss your head back into the seat while digging your phone out of your shorts pocket and scrolling through to find your tracking app.

“You’re assuming you know more about my own body is pissing me off even more.” you speak quickly while tapping on the app icon and waiting for it to pull up.

“C’mon now, sweetheart. I ain’t say all that. You got a damn attitude with me all day.” He mumbles while you speak over him.

“An attitude? Oh, you think I’ve got an attitude now just you wait-” You pause abruptly when the graphic finally loads on your phone.

Joel turns his head lazily, expecting you to finish your remark but pinches his face in confusion when he sees your jaw hanging open.

“What?” He questions.

Seven days late. No fucking way. You feel a hard lump form immediately in your throat, heart drumming quickly against your chest.

“We need to stop at a drug store on the way home.” You say flatly, sure that your face has an expression of pure horror if you were to check.

“Can you tell me what's goin’ on in that head’a yours?” He says sternly.

“I’m late.” You blurt out, looking blankly onto the street.

Until the car jerks. Joel being a little heavy footed on the break at the red light.

“You’re what?” He raises his voice in surprise.

“I’m late.” You say a little louder. Shoving your phone back into your pocket.

You feel sick. You didn’t feel like that five minutes ago.. Could you be? No. No fucking way. You can’t even let yourself think of that. 

“How late?”

“Seven days.” You mumble.

He’s not being mean. At all. Even if he was being annoying he’es not being mean now but tears sting your waterline anyways. You’re scared. Of course you and Joel have talked about it before but never seriously, and no plans were ever made.

“Jesus.” He mutters.

That makes a tear spill. Not happy. Not chastising. But dismissive enough to make your mind reel. Even if it wasn’t meant to be that way. That one tear leads to another, and more slowly starts to roll down your warm cheeks. You don’t sob or gasp for air like you usually do when you’re crying, but you can’t stop these tears. They’re flowing freely despite constantly wiping them with the back of your hands. Joel turns into the next drug store you pass and pulls into a spot. Without a word you step out of the car, biting down on the inside of your lip to suppress any more tears while you’re in the store, closing the door on Joel when he says your name. You move without thinking, your legs taking you to the right aisle to pick up one of these dumb blue boxes. There's so many of them. Your feet pull you away once you grab a pack of six. Your feet stop you at the back of the line and your mind runs wild.

Okay.. It’s fine. Just a few days late. Stress can do that, you know. Stress willa absolutely make you a few days late.. But seven? A whole week late? Can stress push you back a whole week?

You swallow thickly and take a step forward in line, eyes darting around to make sure no one can hear what you’re thinking. You instinctively hide the box's logo against your chest while you wait in line.

Don’t make eye contact. Fucking, please do not make eye contact. You’re not the first person to buy one. Everyone buys them. Okay not everyone, but enough. Enough people buy them. They’ve probably sold ten just today. Are they looking at you? It feels like they’re all looking at you. No. No one’s looking. They’re not looking. Stop it.

“Excuse me?”

You snap your head in the direction of the voice.

“Hi.” You blurt out, eyes wide.

“I can check you out.”

Your feet take you there. The transaction is quick and painless. That's all you could have asked for. The drive back is silent. You don’t know which you’d prefer right now though. As much as you’d like to hear Joel say everything is okay, the silence is okay, too. The silence continues. All the way from the car and into the house and up to the bathroom. Joel stands just behind you while your shaky fingers pry open the box. You pause and look back at him.

“Look..” you start off, voice shaky. “ I know this is a lot and I’m sorry I didn’t catch it sooner and I completely understand that this will change our entire lives and you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, that’s completely your choice but I just want to let you know that I won’t be-”

“Woah, woah.” Joel speaks up, placing both of his hands on your shoulders, bringing you closer to him. “You gotta breathe, darlin’.” 

You deeply inhale and slowly exhale while letting your shoulders drop. He gives you a soft squeeze.

“You think I’d up n’ leave you if that test was positive, hm?” He leans in and talks softly.

Your lower lip quivers just at the thought. “I wouldn’t blame you.” You whisper.

“You’re breakin’ my damn heart.” He tells you, whispering in the same tone. “Not leavin’ you no matter what that test says, darlin’. We’ve talked about this.”

He lowers his head to catch your gaze.

“Not seriously.” You point out in a quiet voice. 

“It was serious to me.” He says, voice firm but still kind. 

You lift your head to catch his eyes. 

“It was serious to me.” He repeats once locking onto your gaze. “I meant everything I ever said about it.” He smooths his hands down your shoulders to your elbows before engulfing you in his arms. 

You crumple into his chest and relish in it. In how firm he feels beyond the soft fabric of his shirt. He’s steady and strong like he always is. No wavering in his voice or an uptick in how his heart beats against his ribs. He means it. He pulls away after a beat, lifting your head with a soft nudge to your chin. 

“C’mon now. Let’s take it.” He says while reaching behind him for the box. 

He brings it between you and slowly unboxes it, letting you take the stick while he unfolds the miles of instructions. He makes a few remarks about it that ultimately earn a quiet laugh from you and he takes that as a win. 

“This will probably be the longest five minutes of my life.” You mumble while pulling your pants back up and placing the stick face down on the sink counter. 

You run the water warm while lathering your hands with soap. Joel stands behind you and slips his thick arms around your waist to clasp just at your belly button. You lift your head and look at him through the mirror in front of you. He hums while placing his chin on the top of your head slowly swaying you once you’re done drying your hands. 

“Can’t wrap my head ‘round it.” He mumbles into your hair.

“What?” You furrow your eyebrows while leaning back into his chest, still keeping eye contact through the mirror.

“That you could be growin’ somethin’ in here.” He pushes one of his hands under your shirt to sprawl over your lower belly. 

His broad, calloused hand is warm against your skin. You place both of your hands over his one, lifting up your shirt just slightly while you look down.

“Doesn’t sound so scary when you say that.” You say playfully. 

He chuckles and slowly rubs his hand against your belly, his other coming down to rest on the swell of your hip. He continues to lead the lazy sway, pulling you right against him. He leans down every so often to press a kiss. To your head through your hair. Against the back of your shoulder. In the crook of your neck. And when you turn to smile he makes sure to catch your lips. 

“Ready, sweetheart?” He asks after looking down at his watch. 

You force a large breath out of your nose before nodding. 

“As I’ll ever be.”

Joel leans forward to grab the test, keeping it face down as he brings it in front of you. He rests his chun against your shoulder, holding the test there.

“You just say the word, baby.” He says while giving you a squeeze to your hip. 

“Ready.” You mumble, body going rigid as he turns the test over. 

He flips it.

You grab it with both of your hands and hold it closer, squinting at the small screen. 

“Your big head’s in the way-“

“Negative.” You interrupt him.

He pauses behind you. No longer swaying, his hold is heavy on your waist.

“That’s good.. Right?” You whisper while turning the test over a few times. 

“Is that what you want?” He asks while watching you through the mirror.

“I..” You sigh and continue to stare at the test. “I thought I was.” You whisper. “Did you want it to be positive?”

Joel pushes a long exhale through flared nostrils while placing his hands on your lower belly. His large palms sprawled across your skin, his thumbs rubbing gently while he pondered.

“The thought of your belly swellin’ up with our baby makes me want it to be positive.” He says quietly.

The rest of the night was quiet. His words eat away at your brain. Overthinking every small action and comment from the past few months. Dinner was quiet, too. You couldn’t help but imagine Joel with your baby on his hip while he's watching baseball, while he’s cooking breakfast or walking around the store in the baby aisles. You’d be lying if it didn’t spark that same curiosity as Joel mentioned. Having your belly swell all filled with his baby. It wasn’t until the both of you were tucked away in bed when you asked;

“Should we try?”

You’ve never seen him change that quickly. Brows flat to mimic the press of his lips. He thought for all of 2 seconds before pinning your body into the mattress under the weight of his.

“Couldn’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout this.” He mumbled into your neck while pressing hot kisses there.

You breathe out shakily, one hand planting itself in his short, dark hair while the other pressed half moon indents into his shoulder. He worked down the length of your torso quickly, pushing clothing up and out of the way to connect his hot mouth to your burning skin, small wet patches left in its wake. 

“Gonna work you up before I fuck you, alright sweetheart?” He mumbles while pulling your pants down your thighs so quickly the fabric burns at your skin.

“Fuck-“ You hiss at just how rough hes being. “Yes, Joel.” You whimper while propping yourself up onto your elbows, both hands now gripping the sheets beneath you.

“Fuckin’ beautiful.” He whispers between your thighs.

His breath fanned over your core in such a familiar way it made your stomach tighten.

“Joel-“ You whined.

He was taking his time, spreading your folds apart with his thumbs and watching the thin strings of your arousal web you all together. But the second you drone his name, his mouth is on you. Low and slow. The flat of his tongue dragging over your throbbing hole several times before teasing just the tip past the threshold. You writhe beneath him at the feeling, rutting your hips into his face. He welcomes it with a groan, his strong arms slipping under your thighs and curling on top of them to hold them in place, on either side of his head. 

Joel reels back from your cunt and you peer down to him. He’s not even looking at you. His eyes are heavy, parted lips and his beard already glistening in the soft light of the bedroom. He’s not carrying any stress on his face like he usually does- but the concentration of his saddled brows shows you he means business. He tightens his grip on your thighs, bringing his thumbs from the top to spread you once again. Joel blows cool air over your exposed, dripping cunt and it draws an absolutely filthy whine from you. He doesn’t let you live in that for a minute before he purses his lips and spits directly onto your clit. 

“Fuck!” You hiss, twitching against his iron grip. 

He silences you by delving forward and wrapping his plump lips around that swollen clit and sucking softly. Your mouth is left agape, jaw slacked in awe at the pleasure coursing through your body. Joel closes his eyes and works his mouth expertly, savoring the taste of you, how warm and clean, soft and utterly you it tastes. He savors your noises, too. The drawn out, longing moans and gasps when he circles his tongue against your swollen clit before sucking it back between his lips. 

He doesn’t move until he’s drawn an orgasm from you. Shaky hands buried deep in his hair, tugging at the lochs from the base of his skull. He finally pulls his head back, holding your shaking thighs down with no effort. 

“Took it so nice, pretty girl.” He muses while pressing a few kisses to the inside of your thigh. 

You clamp one of your hands over your mouth to muffle the cries and hitching of your breath. Joel brings himself to his knees, still between your thighs and pulls your hand away from your mouth.

“Don’t go hidin’ any of those pretty little sounds from me.” He tuts while pushing his pants down his hips with his free hand. 

His thick cock springs free and slaps the base of his belly. It’s red and throbbing with pre smeared around his tip. 

“Please, Joel.” You beg quietly while scooting down on the bed to get closer to him, your knees bent over the tops of his thighs.

“I got you, baby.” He soothes while smoothing his large palm from your knee to the top of your thigh and around to grip your hip.

You squirm beneath him in anticipation, able to feel the sheer heat radiating from his cock against your pussy. He grips the base of his cock and slips it through your soaked fold with a guttural groan coming from deep in his chest. Joel tightens his hold on your hip while pushing his tip against your needy hole. No matter how many times he does this, the first push still stings. You don’t think you’ll ever adjust to the full size of him. Part of you is grateful because the second that sore sting turns sweet, everything else is gone. He’s all you can think of. 

“Grippin’ me so good already.” He grunts while sinking into you.

Stretch doesn’t begin to explain it. It’s the ache between your hips that you’ll feel for days. Even after years and years of taking him in every way imagineable. It’s still there. You gasp as he bottoms out, his hips pressed flush to yours. Joel groans through a tight jaw, leaning forward and bowing his head.

“I know, darlin’..” He muses while lifting his head.

He stays pushed in your cunt, rolling his hips against yours without actually thrusting, just making sure he feels each and every bit of your slick walls around him.

“P-Please, Joel.” You mutter through a stuttered breath while digging your heels into the mattress to lift your hips.

He tuts his tongue and shakes his head, broad palms moving to cup the backside of your knees and pushing them together.

“Please? Please what, baby?” He mocks in a sweet tone. 

He forces your knees towards your chest while sitting up on his own. He moves his right hand to knead the flesh at the underside of your thigh, your knees being pushed towards your chest with only one of his now. 

“Say it.” He orders in a low voice while sinking his thick fingers into your thigh. 

“Fucking move.” You hiss at him through clenched teeth. 

A low chuckle rumbles through his chest before his grip tightens and he finally draws his hips back slowly, then pushing them back in with force. It wasn’t fast or sloppy. It was calculated with his entire weight behind each thrust. He knows how you love it. His hands keep you slow despite the squirming and writhing beneath him, giving him the leverage he needed to fuck into you good.

His brows are saddled together, face pinches up in pleasure as he keeps his eyes locked onto where your bodies meet- watching his cock disappear within your slick folds over and over and over again. Concentrating. Putting thought into every thrust. Every time he pulls back he grunts, in disbelief of just how soaked he is with you. 

“Jesus, baby girl.” He heaved, hips starting to pick up their pace while he lost himself in you. 

You felt your eyes flutter, almost rolling to the back of your head while he pounded you into the mattress, keeping you all folded up for him to use. 

“Y’had such a fuckin’ attitude earlier.” He chides, his hand leaving your thigh. “Should’ve taken you right there in the truck, hm? That’s what you wanted, right?” He pants.

You nod lazily, hair sticking to the sweat starting to bead on your forehead, a filthy moan slipping past your lips. Your body jerks with each of his ruthless thrusts, knocking a small noise from the back of your throat that he absolutely ate up. He dreams about these noises. The way they grow closer together, breathless and tick up a pitch before you unravel on him. He tightens his grip on the back of your knees and forces them closer to your chest just thinking about it. 

Joel doesn’t crane over your bent legs anymore, he sits up straight with no hiccup in his thrusts, the hand that was at your thigh coming to rub concentrated circles onto your clit. 

“Fuck- Joel.” You say breathily, opening up your heavy eyes to watch him.

“Yeah? You gonna cum, sweet girl?” He recognized that look in your eyes right away. 

Glossy. Pupils blown black. Heavy lids and those pretty little red veins more prominent. The way your face contorted in pleasure when his thrusts became relentless, sloppy and chasing after his high he felt building in his stomach.

“Yes. Shi- I-.. Please.” You arch your back away from the mattress while Joel’s thumb continues to work in those steady circles despite his thrusts losing their rhythm. 

“Go on n’ make a mess, baby.” He encourages you while grunting something guttural. “I got you- fuck.” He bows his head for a moment, desperate to hold on until you’ve finished around him. “Fuckin’ cum on my cock, sweet girl.”

“Joel.. Joel- Fuck-“

His words pulled you over the edge, coaxing that white hot feeling to bubble over. Your walls spasm around his girth, legs shaking as he ruthlessly pounds into you, the loud thwack, thwack, thwack of his hips colliding with the back of your thighs not loud enough to drown out your lewd, languid moans.

“That’s it-“ He grunts, stilling his thumb and instead of circling he just adds pressure onto the small bud. “Sounds so pretty.” He pants while brooding over you. 

Your body involuntarily jerks and jolts under him while he fucks you through your second orgasm. 

“Need you to cum in me, Joel.” You speak up in a daze, voice broken. 

“Yeah? Want me to fill up this tight pussy, hm? Fuck a baby into you?” He gravels and you whimper at just how filthy his words are. 

You can see the concentration on his face, the beading sweat at his temples that makes his dark hair stick there. 

“Please, Joel, please.” You beg him repeatedly, hands scrambling for someone to grab a hold of.

“Gonna make it fuckin’ stick.” He spit, hips sputtering.

He quickly removes his thumb from your clit and wedges his hands between your thighs and your belly, pressing his palm into your navel.

“You fuckin’ feel that?” He asks you, folding you in half with his hand sandwiched between you. 

You do. The pressure on your belly only emphasizes how deep he is inside of you. You screw your eyes shut, trying your best to soak him in and memorize every vein, every ridge and how it feels being fucked into you repeatedly.

“Gonna fill you up so nice- fuck. Give you a fuckin’ baby. So fuckin’ nice, I promise.” His voice wavers. 

He curses through teeth clenched so tight they could crack before slamming his hips into you one last time, putting all his weight into holding himself there, buried deep inside you to the hilt. He spills into you with a deep groan. The coil in the pit of his stomach snaps, ropes of his thick white cum coating your insides. Joel hisses while relaxing, the crease between his brows softening while he slowly pulls back, but not out.

He releases his hold on your knees, letting them fall on either side of his hips but keeps his one hand planted on your belly. Your chest rises and falls rapidly, unable to control your breathing while he does the same, still towering over your lithe frame in the mattress. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers while letting himself collapse forwards, one hand coming to press into the bed next to your head to support himself. 

You open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off with a kiss. It’s warm and wet, loving but sloppy and needy. 

“My god.” You whisper against his lips and he chuckles before pulling back.

He rubs his calloused palm into the soft skin of your tummy and you can feel just how full you are. 

“Think it’ll stick this time?” You ask while he leans in to press hot kisses to the nape of your neck.

He pushes his hips against yours, still tucked away inside.

“I wouldn’t be upset if I had to do this a few more times, pretty baby.” He mumbled against your skin and you could feel the sly smile at the corners of his lips.

You hum, sighing softly as you feel him twitch inside you.

“Try again to make sure?” You say, voice barely above a whisper.

He pauses what he’s doing, slowly lifting his head to look at you, one of his eyebrows arched.

“You’re a filthy lil’ thing. Yeah?” He chides while adding that pressure back to your belly while tutting his tongue.

[pintobug]

your absence of review was noticed! and was missed!! i’m so happy to see this. i plan on posting a one shot later tonight & i’ll post this next chapter soon <33

maintenance

chapter 8: double feature

rating: 18+ MDNI

masterlist

summary: you see jesse again at the bar with ellie & joel surprises you!

word count: 13.3k

tags: light conflict between friends, fingering, praise kink!!, semi public fingering (lol), p in v sex (FINALLYYYY YESSS), age gap! joel is 46 reader is 23, idfk let me know if i missed any lol

a/n: im so HAAAAPPYYY to finally post this monster. 13.3k words?? i got stuck on it so many times so it is later than i expected but i am happy with it. im happy for them. i love when good things happen to the characters i create <33 hopefully it lasts! 😬 i want these two to be happy. anyways. as always, please let me know any and all feedback. i love to hear it. good or constructive or bad. i want it all <3

p.s. i had the idea for this title of this chapter when i first started writing it and the rocky horror soundtrack has been stuck in my head for the past week. fun fact. a lot of the titles are coming from songs that i listen to while writing. chapter 7 i think was from a song by the fray, chapter 5 was a harry styles song. and theres also a few times i think in chapter 6 from a song by alvvays. and joe is humming a marty robbins song in this chapter lol. if you guys are every interested in my fucked up selection of songs while writing this, let me know!

Half asleep, you turn over and what was once the warm, solid sleeping body of Joel is now an empty space. It startles you. This isn’t the first time you woke up to him missing but it doesn’t feel any better. You immediately start to scramble around the bed for your phone and find it tangled up in the comforter. Your eyes aren’t even fully open yet when you pull up his contact and press ‘Call’.

“Where are you?” You blurt out the second the ringing line pauses, and you hear the soft rumble of his truck on the other line.

He chuckles lowly before responding.

“M’sorry, darlin’. I left you a note.”

“A note? What note?” Your voice is hoarse and tickles the back of your throat.

“On the bedside.”

You rub the sleep from your eyes and whip your head around. Sure enough there is a little sticky note sat there with something scratched into it. You lean over with a grunt and scratch it up to read:

‘Had to take a job. Call you when I’m done. :)’

The little smiley faces eyes were so damn crooked, but it made your heart warm.

“Fuck. Sorry, Joel.” You whisper into the line.

“No reason t’be sorry, darlin’.” He says smoothly.

“Wait- Did Ellie catch you?” Immediately all your senses are at an all time high as you sit on the edge of your mattress.

“I’m stealthier than I look. I promise.” He chuckles into the phone. “No, she didn’t see me.” You could practically hear the smile on his lips.

You close your eyes and exhale slowly.

“Okay..” You trail off.

The both of you are silent over the staticky line. Just the sound of his truck driving on the road for a moment.

“What are you doing today?” Joel is the one to break the silence.

“Nothing. Frank cut me from my shift today. I guess as a thanks for last night.”

Joel hums in acknowledgement even if he still doesn’t know the specifics of what happened yet.

“Do you need me to take you to your car this morning? Drove past it on my way to the job and it’s still standing.”

A small smile curls the corner of your mouth while you search through your drawers to put on clothes for the day. It feels nice, Joel’s voice filling your room while doing something so mundane. It’s calm.

“No, I don’t need my car at all this morning.”

“Alright. Can I pick you up ‘round four tonight? I’ll take you to it then. How’s that sound, sweetheart?” The way the multitude of sweet names roll off his tongue makes your stomach flutter.

“That sounds just fine to me.” You bite back a too wide smile that he can’t even see.

You could easily walk to get your car, Joel knows that. But him offering to take you to it makes you want to let him.

“Alright.” Joel muses, satisfactory.

“Alright.” You repeat his words in a light tone.

“You have a good day, baby.”

“You too, Joel.”

You hang up and cover your face with your hands and make a small squealing noise out of excitement. Sure, you were upset to wake up and not see Joel. But the promise of seeing him later makes up for it. You slip on a loose t-shirt and biker shorts and make your way downstairs. In the midst of all your giddiness you completely forgot about Ellie. You do your best to not look so surprised when you see her sipping coffee from a mug in the kitchen.

“Hey.” She calls out as you make your way past the threshold.

“Good morning.” You say while showing her a soft smile.

“You okay?” She raises an eyebrow smile taking another long sip.

You think for a moment before answering.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” You nod your head while reaching into a cabinet for your own mug.

“The fuck happened last night? You made me all nervous by not answering.”

You shoot her a sympathetic look.

“I know, I know.” You mumble while pouring some coffee into your mug.

You start to fill her in on last night, minus Joel's appearance, while making your coffee.

“I was just about to leave, walked out into the dining room and all of a sudden- it’s fuckin’ packed.” You tell her while stirring sugar into your mug.

“And I mean fuckin’ packed.” You put emphasis on your words while Ellie listens intently.

“Aw, shit.” She mutters as you go on.

“I haven’t seen it like that, ever. People were asking for shit left and right. The damn computer service went down. It was an utter shit show.” You tell her while focused on pouring cream into your coffee.

You pause to take a long sip, Ellie does as well.

“And get this, to top it all off- I wasn’t even two blocks away when-” Your mind caught up with your words and you paused.

“When…?” Ellie gestures with her hands for you to finish.

“I got a flat tire.” You say flatly.

“Damn. You can’t catch a break. Is it fixed?” She asks.

You swallow thickly and nod your head, dancing around the fact that Joel, your maintenance man, came to rescue you from your flat tire and your panic attack.

“It’s fixed.”

“You can fix a flat tire now?” Ellie questions.

Fuck. Stop being so shady about it, just come out and say it, dammit. It’s right on the tip of your tongue.

“No- called a company to come out.” You lie.

Again.

It doesn’t feel good. The hot coffee you're pushing down your throat tastes sour after that. You set the unfinished coffee on the counter.

“Nice. I didn’t see it outside this morning, I figured you left real early. Thought I heard you coming down the steps.” Ellie says simply while walking to the sink and rinsing out her mug.

Stealthier than he looks, right? Wrong.

You blow raspberries while your mind races for excuses.

“Well.. It was really late by the time the company came out. Didn’t feel safe while driving.” You speak a little too quickly but Ellie doesn’t ever turn around to look at you, she just hums and nods her head while at the sink.

“And- I don’t know what you heard this morning.” You tack on at the end.

Ellie shrugs her shoulders.

“Don’t know I was half asleep.” She’s so casual through this conversation and you envy it.

You swallow thickly and nod your head slowly.

“What’re you doing today?” You take the moment of silence to change the subject.

Ellie turns around and leans against the counter to look at you.

“Going back to the bar in a little bit.” Her eyes darted around a bit before looking at you.

You know why. The bar. Owen. The other night you picked her up from the airport and she confronted you with that. You quickly convince yourself that pretending not to remember would be the best situation.

“Mm, nice.” You hum, staring into your coffee mug.

“Jesse’s working, too. Maybe you’ll swing by?” It sounds like a peace offering that you didn’t know you needed.

“Maybe-“ Joel’s voice in your head reminds you that he’ll pick you up at four.

Think of an excuse. Think. Think. Think.

“For lunch. A late lunch.” You say while nodding your head mostly for yourself.

“Lunch?” Ellie questions with a raised brow.

“Lunch.” You amend with a shrug.

“Right.” Ellie says before pushing off of the counter and slowly trudging out of the kitchen.

Her comment made your heart twinge a little. Dismissive or maybe unbelievable. Unbelievable would be true in this case. You sulk against the counter top, wrapping your arms around yourself for some sort of comfort. You go back and forth. Should you just come out and say it? How many times have you said that to yourself in the past few weeks? It’s starting to get old. If you tell Ellie, do you have to tell your father and if you tell one and not the other is that making the situation worse? What about Joel? Joel deserves to know. You groan and close your eyes tightly. You can’t get stuck in this loop all day.

Today will be good. It has to be. You’ll see Ellie and Jesse at the bar for late lunch and then you’ll get to see Joel for a little bit to pick up your car.

Ellie left for the bar a few hours ago and you figured now was a decent time for your visit. You dress yourself in a worn t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

Your walk there was pleasant, the sun was warm and the breeze made it bearable. You’re greeted with the smell of stale beer and fried food, it almost makes you moan. You look over behind the bar- no Ellie.

Just Jesse.

Standing back there, shining a glass with a stupid look on his face. You groan quietly and make your way over to him. You haven’t seen him since that night with Owen. Then he tattled on you to Ellie and you didn’t really want to see him right after that to be honest. You plop down on a bar stool and spin side to side while staring at him. He almost looks amused. Your eyes narrow.

“Where’s Ellie?” You ask sharply.

“Tapping kegs downstairs. Stuck with me for a little.” He says simply.

You scoff at him and fold your arms over your chest.

“You’re an ass.” You mumble under your breath.

“Haven’t seen you in a little while. Thought you died.” Jesse muses while setting the glass down, ignoring your previous comment.

“Wish I did.” You deadpan.

“Oh, you’re being dramatic for a change?” He feigns shock. “What else is new?”

“Why don’t you tell me? You’ve been real chatty lately.” You sneer at him and then suck at your teeth.

He chuckles and shakes his head while leaning into the bar.

“Ahh, so that’s what we’re doing, hm?” He hums.

You roll your eyes at him before leaning in over the bar and speaking in a tight, hushed tone.

“You ran and fuckin’ tattled on me to Ellie.”

“She asked how the night went!” He says defensively.

“So you spilled your guts?” You shove yourself off the bar and lean into the back of the stool again, pushing air from your lungs with force.

“I didn’t think it was a big deal.” He says honestly.

“Clearly you didn’t think at all.”

“Oh god-“ He groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re being dramatic. Ellie doesn’t really give a fuck like that. She was just concerned for you.” He says while lifting his head to look at you. “Friends talk about shit like that, you know?” His tone is a little sharper at the end.

You don’t respond and let the silence hang for a bit. The both of you continue to give side glances to each other.

“Hey, barmaid- let me get a grilled cheese, yeah?” You speak up, slapping a hand down onto the bar top.

He looks at you with a- ‘You gotta be fucking joking’ kind of expression. And you love it. You eat it up. As much as he annoyed you for running to Ellie you know it wasn’t in malice. But you don’t want to let him off too easily.

“And I want a pickle. I don’t care if it doesn’t come with it.” You quickly tack that on at the end, already knowing what his retort would be.

Jesse stands at attention and mocks a salute.

“Yes, ma’am.” He holds it for a second before dropping it and turning towards the kitchen while grumbling under his breath.

You mock his words quietly to yourself. A familiar laugh from the stairwell catches your attention. Loud, bubbly and echoing in the mostly empty bar. Ellie turns the corner and slips behind the bar to wash her hands.

“Hey! I didn’t know what time late lunch was,” She chuckles at her comment, wearing an expression that looks a little surprised to see you. “Glad you came by though, I think Jesse was getting bored with hearing details of the trip.”

You smile and sit forward in your chair, resting your elbows on the bar.

“He deserves the boredom. And more.” You smile sweetly.

Ellie sucks her teeth and laughs. “Spicy. Did you see him yet?”

Jesse exits the kitchen just in time to hear Ellie and holds his hands up in surrender.

“Did she see me? Yeah, she came in swingin’.” He finds his spot just next to Ellie behind the bar.

Ellie pretends to wince. “You two still going on about Owen-“

“God- no. Please. I’m tired of talking about him.” You cut her off with a whine while hanging your head between your shoulders.

The two of them chuckle at you and agree to drop it.

“Alright, then. No sulking at the bar.” Ellie taps her hand against the top a few times.

You sit up straight and smile warmly while watching her sort through a few different bottles, the soft clanking of glass against glass filling the room.

“Wanna try this?” She holds out a bottle filled with dark liquor.

You make a face immediately and Jesse laughs.

“Don’t make her try that shit.” He snatches the bottle out of Ellie’s hands. “Practically fuckin’ gasoline. Don’t need her puking up her grilled cheese on the bar.”

The soft dinging of a bell is muffled by the swinging kitchen doors.

“Speaking of-“ Jesse places the bottle back down and heads into the kitchen.

Ellie smiles and starts to unload the dishwasher behind the bar while talking with you.

“Grilled cheese, huh? Not even a menu item.” She shakes her head.

You shrug your shoulders, smiling wider as Jesse returns with your sandwich.

“And a pickle? What the fuck.” Ellie gestures to the basket as Jesse sets it on the bar.

He shrugs his shoulders.

“Had to pull some strings.” He says smoothly.

You enjoy your sandwich while going back and forth with Jesse and Ellie about anything. Ellie can’t stop bringing up her trip with Dina. You can’t get enough of the details, but Jesse? He looks like his eyes might fall out of his head if he rolls them again. Slowly but surely the bar starts to fill up as time goes by, laborers start filing in and filling the bar with dull chatter. Your two friends have less and less time to hang around chatting with you so you take advantage of it to slip out without question. It’s nearing 3 o’clock and you’d like a little time to get ready to see Joel.

“I’m gonna head out before it gets too busy in here.” You speak up when Ellie walks back over to you.

She nods while grabbing a beer glass and filling it from the tap behind the bar.

“What’re you gonna get up to?” She asks over her shoulder without taking her eyes off the glass.

“Um.. Not much,” You can’t come up with a lie quick enough and she turns her head to finally look at you confused. “Probbaly go visit my dad.” You blurt out once you see her expression.

Her face softens and she smiles while nodding her head. “Tell him I say hi.”

You nod quickly and leave cash on the bar to cover your bill and then some.

“That’s for you. Not Jesse.” You slide it over the bar towards her and she chuckles.

“Alright, I’ll see you at home.” She shakes her head and waves you off.

You push yourself off the barstool and wave back before turning to exit the bar.

You got home with enough time to shower, fix up your hair and put on a better outfit. You settled with a decent cami, a pair of shorts and a dark zip up hoodie. Not exactly suggestive but enough skin is exposed for your liking.

You have to admit it is a little ridiculous that you’re having him do this. Pick you up to go get your car that really isn’t that far away? Any excuse to see him, honestly. You hope he comes back to your house before Ellie gets home but you wouldn’t think twice about sneaking him in again. It was fun.

You’re slipping your sneakers on when you hear those three knocks at the door. He can’t really be at the door right now, can he? You expected a text or a call to let you know he’s here. You quickly walk to the door and open it.

“Hey there, darlin’.” His sweet drawl makes your insides turn to mush.

You gawk there in awe for a moment while he stands there before you, truck idling just behind him. A dark blue flannel stretches over his broad shoulders, the first two buttons are left undone to show off the thin white t-shirt he has on underneath. He’s still got his jeans on, but they don’t look like the ones ridden with paint and glue and everything else under the sun. They’re nice and clean, the same goes for his boots. You lift your head to look at him and- holy shit. Did he shower for this? His hair is still a little damp and it looks like it was pushed back but this Texas humidity keeps it looking unruly in the best way. He doesn’t look like he just finished up a day's worth of work.

“Hi Joel.” You spit out after a few seconds go by.

He chuckles while taking a step closer and holding out his hand for you to take.

“Ready?” He asks.

You furrow your eyebrows but take his hand in yours.

“…To go get my car? Yeah. I’m ready.” You say, now suspicious of him.

“What’re ya lookin’ at me like that for?” He says while leading you to his truck, that lopsided smile plastered on his lips.

“Don’t know just yet.” You side eye him when he holds the door open for you and you climb into the passenger.

He sucks his teeth while shaking his head. Joel shuts your door and rounds the hood to get into the driver's seat. He slowly pulls the truck out of the spot and heads towards the car you abandoned last night. Music spills out of Joel’s radio, some older western music you haven’t heard before. It’s very on brand for Joel, though. You’d be surprised if he didn’t have it all burned into a tape. Joel stops at the red light and you can see your car on the street.

“Well, it’s still there.” You say and look over to Joel who still has a sweet smile on his face.

“‘Course it is.” He says.

The light turns green and he makes the turn but coasts swiftly past your car.

“Joel-“ You turn around in your seat to look at your car now disappearing behind you. “That was my car.”

Joel looks over his shoulder for a moment before directing his attention back to the road.

“Hmm, weird ain’t it?” He hums in amusement and continues to drive.

You turn in your seat and look back at the car and back to him.

“Joel, what’re you doing?” You ask again in confusion.

He shrugs his shoulders, tossing one of his hands palm up.

“Dunno. Just letting the wind take us.. I guess.” He says nonchalantly.

You furrow your eyebrows and look at him in pure confusion while you stutter on your words. Joel chuckles and places his hand on your knee, giving it a soft squeeze.

“Calm down. Y’look like ya saw a ghost.” He flashes a wide smile at you. “Relax. Just listen to the music, sweetheart.”

You pinch your face up at him before forcing air from your lungs and relaxing into the seat. What the fuck is going on? Your mind is racing. Where is he taking you? You know the area so you’re really not too concerned but.. What the fuck? That’s all that's going through your mind.

Joel removes his hand from your knee to turn up the knob on the radio. The cabin floods with the plucking guitar and Joel’s humming. You swear you hear him muttering the words of the song.

“I was in love, but in vain, I could tell.

One night, a wild young cowboy came in, wild as the West Texas wind,

Dashing and daring, a drink he was sharing

With wicked Feleena, the girl that I love.”

His voice never wavered but it also never carried. It was strong and solid but soft in volume compared to the radio. It was comforting and adorable, you thought. It makes him human. Joel really knows the words to songs like this? And is singing them while sitting next to you? He surprises you every day.

A few songs go by and you’re starting to get impatient.

“Where are we going?”

“Told you already.” He says.

“You only said ‘Just lettin’ the wind take us’” You emphasize your southern drawl and lower your voice to mock him the best you can.

This earns a hearty chuckle from Joel.

“I don’t sound nothin’ like that.” He retorts.

“Something like that,” You smile. “Can I get a hint?”

He pretends to ponder it for. second. “Nope.”

You whine quietly. “Please? Just one?”

He shakes his head. “Not a single one.”

You lean back into the passenger seat and cross your arms over your chest while you think.

“We have to be going somewhere. You got all dressed up.” You point out while leaning your head back on the headrest.

“Dressed up?” He chuckles and looks down at his clothes. “S’just what I wear.”

“But you took a shower before.”

“I did take a shower after workin’ all day, you’re right.” He sucks at his teeth.

“Is it something cool?” You turn your torso towards him.

He takes a moment to give you a look for a few seconds.

“Quit it.” He says while tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“I just wanna know-“

“In due time, darlin’. In due time.” He interrupts your pleas and you let out an exaggerated groan.

He goes back to humming the songs pumping through his radio and you decide to peer out the window to try and get a guess where he’s taking you. You look over to him and open your mouth to say something at least three times and all he does is ‘Shhh’ quietly and wave you off. You exhale deeply and become complacent in the silence. It’s not bad, at all. But him being so secretive is making you beyond impatient.

Ten minutes go by.

Fifteen minutes.

Twenty minutes go by of Joel’s humming and his hand on your knee before you sit up straight.

“I feel like I’m gonna go crazy, Joel-“

“We’re here.” He says while slowing the truck down to turn down an unpaved road.

You whip your head around to look out the windows. Outside is filled with trees and greenery lining the road.

“Where is here?” You ask while twisting in your seat to look out the opposite window.

“Here.” He says and pulls his hand from your knee to point at a large marquee.

Your jaw drops as you lean forward in your seat.

“Oh- no fucking way.” You spit out.

Mustang Ridge Drive-In Theater Presents:

Double Feature

The Evil Dead (1981)

The Evil Dead || (1987)

Joel pulls farther into the unpaved road to the break in the trees and there it is-

A large clearing in the trees with a huge white screen stretched between poles. There has to be tens if not hundreds of feet of string lights laced between the towering trees that illuminate the patrons below in a soft orangey light. Cars of all kinds lined up in perfect rows. The smell- oh my god, the smell. A small snack shack tucked into the side wafting buttery popcorn into the air, with tons and tons of colorful packages of different candies stacked high.

Joel rolled all the windows down as he pulled closer to the booth. The soft chatter of the other movie goers filled the cabin, the smell stronger than before. You smile widely back at Joel who's already watching you.

“You’re serious?” You ask while leaning over the center console.

“As a heart attack, darlin’.” He smiles while leaning in to press a soft peck to your lips.

“You’re sneaky.” You giggle against his lips.

“Told you I’m stealthier than I look.” He smirks while turning to the booth attendant to start chatting.

That leaves you speechless.

Stealthier than he looks.

You thought he was full of shit earlier but he might actually be right. You couldn’t see this happening if it bit you on the ass.

Joel slowly rolled away from the booth and turned into one of the last rows and backed into an open spot with the cabin of the truck facing the trees. You looked over your shoulder to the bed of Joel’s truck.

Clean.

No tools.

No dirty tarps and buckets filled with god knows what. It’s clean with two large duffle bags in it.

He cleaned the bed of his damn truck for you?

“Joel- oh my god.” Is all you could say.

“Y’alright?” He asks while turning the car off.

“Am I alright?” You scoff a laugh at his ridiculous question.

He chuckles while getting out of the car and rounding the front to open your door. He smiles while you scramble to unbuckle your belt and hop out. You bounce on the balls of your feet in excitement and trail behind him as he walks to the tailgate of his truck. He lowers it and picks you up just like he did last night and sets you on the edge.

“You stay here.” He tells you while patting the tops of your thighs.

You nod your head and swing your feet while they dangle. Joel swiftly hauls himself into the bed of the truck and seconds later you hear rustling behind you. It takes all the every ounce of strength you’ve got to not turn around but you wait, patiently and take in the scenery in front of you. The sun is sitting lower in the sky but it hasn’t started to turn yet. The blazing heat is no longer there, it’s been replaced by a chilly wind and the trees help shade from whatever is left of the sunlight.

Joel calls your name from behind you and it pulls you out of your day dream. You whip your head back and find him standing right behind you. You crane your neck to look at him and grab his outstretched hand. He secures his larger hand around yours and helps to pull you up. Joel steadies you as you stand with a hand on your hip.

“Not much, but I hope s’alright for ya.” He says quietly at your side.

He’s got a big comforter laid out on the bed of the truck, a handful of pillows stacked along the back with a few smaller blankets rolled up on either side of the bed walls. A back pack lays to one side, candies and bags of snacks spilling out of it from being so stuffed. Beside the pack is a small, black portable radio. Your heart swells and your stomach flips.

“You did all this for me?” You ask but your eyes don’t leave the little set up he made for the two of you.

“‘Course it is.” He says.

You look over at him. He looks timid, or bashful? Like that rough around the edges attitude he’s usually got going on has melted away into a boyish hue. A shy smile hides under his beard. It makes your chest tight.

“Well c’mon n’ sit with me. Should be starting soon.” He completely steers the conversation away from him and guides you towards the pile of pillows. He lets you settle down first before finding his spot next to you and pulling the snack bag into his lap. He starts to pull them out one by one.

He’s got red vines, MNM’s, a flask, gummy bears, skittles, a chocolate bar, another chocolate bar,-

You watch in awe and keep thinking the next thing he pulls out has to be the last.

Sour gummy worms, a water bottle, another water bottle, a soda can, hard candy and another can of soda.

“Don’t think you ever told me what your favorite..Anything is. So I got everythin’.” He says while gesturing to the pile of candy and drinks.

You blink while slowly taking it all in.

“This is.. Wow.” You say while taking a deep breath.

“Wow?”

“Wow.” You repeat.

“These are my favorites.” You say quietly while picking up the sour gummy worms.

Joel plucks them from your hands and opens the bag before handing it back to you. You’re a bit surprised but you thank him and lean into his side. He lifts his arm to wrap around your shoulders, his hand gently clamping around your upper forearm like it belonged there. It felt so right. You weren’t concerned about anyone seeing you and it didn’t seem like Joel was, either. The pair of you tucked into one of the very last rows, the walls of his truck bed shielding you from any curious eyes.

The loud speaker on the snack shack crackles to let everyone know which station to tune the radio to and Joel grabs the portable one and turns the knob to the right channel. He sets it on the side of the truck and sighs softly while pulling you closer.

“I didn’t think you’d be the kind to like zombie movies.” You whispered while resting your chin on his shoulder and looking up at him.

“M’not.” He chuckles and eyes you.

“Why’d you pick this then?”

“Wanted to take you out. You’ve got the first one on DVD in your entertainment center.”

“What? How do you know that?” You sit up from him and look at him, bewildered.

He looked down at you with a soft smile.

“The night of the storm when I came over, you were watching movies-“

You nod your head while listening, memories of the stormy night start to flood your mind.

“Did you watch it? It was sitting on the top of it.”

You don’t respond right away, just look at him in disbelief.

“I was going to. How did you notice that?” You ask.

“I put it back into the entertainment center. When I put away the candles.”

You almost forgot about that. When you came down all the candles were blown out and on the coffee table. God, how could you forget about that?

“Why’d you do that?” You ask, since you never got the chance to before.

“You fell asleep. I was ‘bout to leave. Didn’t want to leave you with a buncha clean up after you let me come in. Saw a few movies sittin’ there n’ I checked ‘em out. When I was done I slipped ‘em back on the shelf.” He speaks calmly.

So, so calmly. It stirs something in your stomach. He’s talking so casually about doing something so domestic for you, it almost makes your eyes cross.

“You're something special, you know that?” You say while leaning into him again.

He smiles sweetly but ignores your comment with a squeeze to your shoulder.

“Movies startin’, sweetheart. Pay attention.” He nudges you and pulls you even closer.

The beginning credits roll and surely the movie starts. You smile to yourself and pop a sour gummy into your mouth here and there. Joel would unscrew the cap to a water bottle and offer it to you throughout the movie. He’d slouch into the pillows and pull you with him, your head nuzzled comfortable into his chest. You’re trying your hardest to pay attention to the movie but the steady thud in Joel’s chest is distracting. The way your head rises and falls slowly with his concentrated breaths is distracting. His hand rubbing along your arm and lingering light kisses to the top of your head, is distracting.

You find your eyes straying from the large screen and focusing on Joel. Making it as inconspicuous as possible. You look at his boots, the way the denim of his jeans stretches over his wide lap and the glimmer of his belt buckle reflecting light from the film. You notice how soft his belly looks and absent mindedly slip your arms across his midsection, tugging yourself into him. Joel hums pleasantly and looks down to you, his hand ceasing the rubs on your arm to brush over your hair a few times.

“Gettin’ comfortable?” He whispers and you nod against him.

He smooths your hair a few times slowly before his hand finds a perch at your hip. Your zip up has fallen behind you and your cami has scrunched closer to your waist. Joel’s hand is warm on your skin. So warm it reminds you how chilly it is now that the sun has set.

“Where’d you stick those blankets?” You whispered while craning your neck to see him.

He looked down to acknowledge you but reached beside him without a word and presented the rolled up flannel material. He unrolled it and splayed it across both of your lower bodies and returned his hand to your hip, under the blanket to trace small circles there

The two of you barely move once the first film ends. The hum of the summer bugs now fills the empty air. The loud speaker boots up again to announce a fifteen minute intermission before the second film starts. You sit slowly from your comfortable but squished up position against Joel and stretch your arms out. He watches you with a smile that hasn’t seemed to have left his lips once this evening.

“Thought you might’ve fallen asleep.” He muses.

You laugh breathily and shake your head.

“No, but I probably could’ve.” You tell him.

He chuckles before looking around at the other cars, some people exiting and chatting softly.

“You fill up on them sour things? Or you think you got room for somethin’ good?” He gravels.

You purse your lips in thought, leaning back and placing a hand on your belly. You definitely ate more sour gummy worms than you should’ve- but maybe you could snack on some real food.

“Hmm. What’re you thinking?” You ask while bringing yourself to your knees and shuffling over to him.

Joel wraps an arm around your thighs, just under the curve of your rear and pulls you into him with a low hum. You laugh and place your hands on his shoulders to prevent yourself from fully toppling over him.

Joel presses a kiss to your shoulder, exposed from your draped zip up.

“Was thinkin’-“ He pressed another kiss to the base of your neck.

“We could go over to that shack over there-“ Another kiss to your throat.

“N’ I’ll get you whatever your lil’ head could think of.” A kiss to your jaw.

“Now, how's that sound, sweetheart?” He pulls back just enough to get a good look at your face.

Your face. It was burning. The way he grabbed you and kissed you all over in front of all of these people. Granted they weren’t all looking at you, odds are none of them were, but his public display of affection towards you made your stomach tighten in the best way. You swallow thickly and nod your head.

“Sounds good, Joel.” You smile lazily.

“Alright, pretty girl. Let's go.” He gives your rear a playful smack, as if to signal you to get a move on.

You let out a noise of surprise and Joel chuckles at your reaction, already making his way to the tailgate and slipping off with a quiet grunt. He brushes his hands off on his thighs and holds a hand out to you.

“You comin’ or what?” He says while running a hand through his hair.

The playful glint in his eyes warms your heart. You scramble after him while laughing and joining your hand with his to jump off of the tailgate. He doesn’t let go of your hand once you’re on the ground with him, just gives it a squeeze and leads you towards the snack shack. The two of you wait in line, illuminated by the shitty neon lights that flicker and buzz louder than the cicadas in the trees.

Joel has been sneaking glances at you all night. You haven’t caught him yet, he thinks. He can see out of the corner of his eye that you’re sucked into reading the menu above the shack. He turns his head and allows himself the time to take you in. Joel Miller is not the poetic type. Not the mushy words or flowers at every turn type. But something about seeing you in this too-bright neon signage lighting knocks the wind from his lungs and makes him want to be the poetic type. It makes him want to be the mushy words and flowers at every turn. To him, you look like something he isn’t allowed to touch. Most would think he’s too old to get so tied up by a girl reading the snack shack menu but you look so gentle in this lighting. Your mouth is softer, and your eyes are more gentle. You look like you aren’t carrying everything you were last night. Like just for a moment he was able to lift it up and give you a break. He notices all of you. The curve of your cheek and the way the string lights twinkle in your eyes. The slope of your neck and how your lashes catch the light.

You make him ache. It isn’t just about wanting you because- Fuck, does he want you. It’s how you make him feel seen. Like he can be softer, too. He likes being out and about with you, staring at you like this. Protective, hungry and quietly in awe.

You pull your attention away from the menu to look at him and to your surprise he’s already watching you.

And he still doesn’t look away.

Joel ends up ordering two different kinds of tacos because-

“Well, I want one of those n’ one of these.” He tells you while settling down into the bed of the truck again, beside you. “We can trade one each. Best’f both worlds, hm?”

He hands you the container and all you can do is laugh at him while popping it open.

“Alright, take your pick.” You hold the box out to him.

He smiles widely while taking one and placing one of his into your box.

“There ya go.”

The two of you eat in silence. That's how good these tacos are.

“Holy shit- these are amazing.” You say through a bite while covering your mouth with your fist.

Joel hums in amusement while nodding his head.

“Knew you’d like ‘em.” He says after swallowing.

He packs the boxes away when you two finish, just in time for the second movie to start, beginning credits are rolling on the screen as the two of you get comfy again. Joel tunes the radio in for the second time and sets it to the side before handing you a water bottle. You take it graciously and take a sip. Joel pushes himself against the cabin of the truck, sitting up against it. You take the opportunity to swing both of your legs over his lap and lean into his side. He wraps his broad palm around your calf and rubs small circles with his thumb then slips it up to your knee and back down your ankle. Repeat.

The film drones in but neither of you are watching anymore. You’re so close to him, warm and smelling sweet. Every time you shift it pulls something deep in his gut. He’s trying to be good, trying to play it safe, but then his fingers find the hem of your shorts and you lean closer into his chest like you need him. He can feel your breath warm his chest through his shirt.

“Y’alright?” He whispers.

You nod and look up. “Mhm. You?”

He meets your eyes and lets them linger.

“Yeah.”

Joel’s doing that thing again. Looking at you like his thoughts are racing and he’s holding back. You want him to stop holding back. You feel his hand tightening around your thigh, the tips of his fingers grazing just under the hem of your shorts. He leans in. It’s slow and intentional. You watch his eyes drop to your lips and that's all it takes.

Fuck the movie.

You lean into him and kiss him gently, testing. It builds quickly. Parted lips against his, tongue rolling past his lips to twist into his. One of his hands cups your cheek while the other palms the flesh at your hip, slipping back to rub over the curve of your ass and stopping at the side of your thigh. He’s not rushing, just exploring slowly. You let out a soft noise into his mouth that causes him to groan.

Joel pulls back to break the kiss just long enough to whisper. “You want me to stop?"

“No- No, Joel. Please.” You say breathlessly.

The pair of you shift, frantic and hungry. His fingers dig into your hip but you ignore it. The movie is still playing in the background now half forgotten. Joel’s touches grow more possessive, less hesitant. He pulls from the kiss and pushes your head to the side and connects his lips to the soft skin just under your jaw. He leaves slow, wet, open mouthed kisses there while the coarse hairs of his beard leave a tight burn.

“I been thinkin’ ‘bout you all week, sweetheart.” He whispers against your skin.

His words flip your stomach over and over again. You’d be lying if you said anything different. You’ve dreamt of him daily and nightly. His rough touches and soft kisses, how warm his breath felt fanning between your thighs. It seems so long ago. He promised to give you what you wanted so, so long ago and between sneaking around and stress from work weighing on you, the both of you haven’t had the opportunity.

“Couldn’t wait to get my hands on you. Y’looked so good when I picked you up.” He mumbles with lips brushing yours.

He connects his lips back to yours feverishly while pulling you closer with his hand at the back of your head. You place your palm at the base of his neck, fingertips pressing gently into his warm skin.

Joel slides his hand between your knees and you reposition yourself to spread your legs. You feel his lips tug into a faint smile. He moved with you, laying you on your back while slipping his bicep under your head, bending his elbow to grip your jaw and keep your head turned towards him to prevent breaking the kiss. Joel is laid on his side, his chest pressed into the side of your ribcage with his hand that isn’t gripping your jaw splayed under the blanket over your lower stomach, finger tips brushing against the soft skin of your belly. You rolled your hips up into his hand and he pressed into your belly to pin your movements.

“Poor thing. Kept you waiting a long time, hm?” He pulled back from the kiss to look down at you.

You nodded your head frantically, the heat piling up quickly in your lower stomach. Embarrassment flooded your cheeks while he pointed out just how eager you were. Joel slipped the tips of his fingers past the waistband of your shorts and it knocked the wind clear from your lungs. You turned and buried your head into his chest that you felt vibrate with a chuckle.

“Barely even touched you.” He states.

You grip the fabric of his shirt where your hand sits at his collar and pull on it while whining quietly.

“Touch me, Joel.” You whisper into his broad chest while your free hand wraps around his forearms and pushes his hand a bit lower, his fingers brushing the hem of your panties.

The noise he makes turns your stomach. It’s raw and rugged and filthy. It matches the way he kisses you after you say that. Hot, open mouths with his angles down into yours. His hands push into your pants further, cupping your covered sex snugly. You buck your hips again, searching for any additional pressure, any additional friction he’s so kind to offer. But you found none, just the heel of his hand pressing into your mons to ground your hips for the second time.

“You need to calm down, pretty girl. Can’t have any wandering eyes knowing what I’m doin’ to you.” He rasps into your ear after pulling back from the kiss.

You feel your lower lip tremble in frustration. It’s completely unfair that the first chance he gets to touch you like this in days is in the bed of his truck with people only a few feet away. You were grateful for the blanket covering the both of you even if it grew warmer and warmer underneath.

The arm Joel has under your head cranes again and grips your chin, turning your head away from him to present your neck to him. He takes advantage immediately, pressing open mouth kisses to your collar and all the way up to your jaw, he stops to suck for a quick second before releasing or to blow air softly over the damp spot he leaves.

“Fuck, Joel.” You stifle a moan.

He continues kissing lazily at your neck while grinding his hand into your damp panties. Your knees are bent slightly, thighs clamped around his wrist but it doesn’t stop him. He runs his middle finger along the wet spot in the center of your panties.

“Poor thing. Must’a been achin’ these past few days.” He pressed a hot kiss by your ear.

It sends a shiver down your spin and white heat into your lower belly.

“Huh? You been thinkin’ ‘bout this, sweet girl?” He taps three fingers against your clothes folds and your body twitches in reaction.

You nod your head quickly but he tuts his tongue.

“Lemme hear you. N’ you better say it quietly.”

“Yes, Joel.” Your voice is just above a whisper. “Been thinking about you every night.”

He hums in satisfaction while toying with the elastic of your panties before pulling them to the side. You didn’t realize how much they were suffocating you, the freedom he now had sent a fresh wave of arousal right between your thighs and you gasped. A little too loudly. Joel’s hand on your chin quickly clamped over your mouth, cutting your gasp with his broad palm. Your eyes were wide and darted over to him rapidly. He could feel the soft puff of your frantic breaths from your nostrils on his finger. It made a sickening smile spread across his lips. A knowing smile.

“Don’t know how many times I gotta tell you, baby. Gotta be quiet.” He presses a kiss to your temple while finally dipping his fingers between your folds.

His hand muffles a whimper rumbling at the back of your throat. He presses his fingers more firmly against your mouth, ceasing any other remaining noises that threaten to spill. He drags two fingers from bottom to top, collecting your slick as lubricant to circle gently around your clit. The muscles pull hard in your stomach, your soaked walls spasming around nothing.

Your eyes are still wide and looking at Joel, silently pleading through muffled grunts and whines. He looks down at you, almost sympathetic to your whines and twitches.

“No need to worry, pretty girl. I’ll take care f’ya.” He reassures you but moves his fingers no differently.

Agonizingly slow circles with the occasional tap from his middle finger. Your settled arousal has now completely soaked your underwear that's tugged to the side. Joel slides his middle finger down your slit, rubbing the tip of his finger at the rim of your cunt, barely pushing inside. This does something to you. The tease, his smug look while he watches your reaction and the building anticipation in your lower belly. Days and days of day dreaming about this happening and he’s teasing you. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes and they don’t go unnoticed by Joel.

“Awh, c’mon now, sweetheart. Need it that bad?”

You nod to the best of your ability, his hand still clamped over your mouth.

“Tell you what, sweet girl.” He whispers into the top of your head while his finger continues to tease. “Gonna give you what you want-.” He kisses the top of your head. “What you deserve.” He corrects himself. “But you can’t take your eyes off that movie. Y’hear me?” He pulls back to look down into your blown black, glossy eyes.

You mumble against his hand and for a second he removes it to allow you to speak.

“Y-Yes, Joel. Pleasepleaseplea-“ You pant a few times and Joel cuts off your please by clamping his hand there again.

He sucks his teeth and shakes his head, his fingers stopping where they are.

“You forget the first thing I told you? Told you to be quiet, too. You think you can handle all this at once?” He asks and you nod your head swiftly.

“Good girl.” He praises softly.

You lock your eyes onto the movie that's projecting before you, not taking in a single frame of it. All that's running through your head is Joel.

Joel. Joel. Joel. Joel. Joel.

Joel Miller, your maintenance man. Your auto repair man. Your ‘call during a panic attack man’. Your ‘sneak into the house for a sleepover man’. Your ‘planning secret dates man’. Is this a date? He took you to a secretly planned drive-in movie and is now finger fucking you in the bed of his truck-

It’s a date.

Your thoughts don’t have much time to spiral because Joel finally pushes one of his thick fingers into your cunt. It’s warm and slick and hugging his digit. He groans while bottoming out to his knuckle. He keeps it there for a moment before drawing it out and pushing it back in slowly. He sets a painfully slow pace. One that makes your thighs shake with need and your already strained breath catches in your chest.

“Doin’ real good.” He says softly against your hair.

His palm muffled the sob that you choke out. You buck your hips into his hand, silently trying to tell him you want more, you need more. You need him. He fully removes his finger from your slick when you do this.

“Greedy lil’ thing.” He comments before pushing his middle and ring finger into your pussy.

Your body buckles against his and he ‘shh’s you quietly.

You feel your walls stretch around his second digit, merely uncomfortable for a second before turning sweet. Joel pumps his fingers at a slow, steady pace. He cranes his thumb to rub into your clit every time he sinks his fingers deeper into your cunt. He leans in and leaves a few lingering kisses into your hair, his warm breath fanning down your neck. The frames of the movie are blurred and moving too quickly for you to absorb any of it. They flutter when Joel curls his fingers upwards. A lewd, drawn out whine gets caught in his palm.

“Keep watchin’ that.” He reminds you when your head starts to turn towards him.

He tightens his grip over your mouth, not painful but there's enough pressure to know he’s serious. Your breaths are quick through your nose while your core grows white hot. That familiar bubbling in your lower belly sets in. Joel watches your body react. Your chest rises and falls quickly but it sputters when he takes a moment to curl his fingers while bottomed out in you. His slick thumb adds pressure just above your clit and draws small circles.

Joel resumes fucking his fingers in and out of you, curling his opposite bicep to keep your close to his chest. He’s looking down at you with half lidded eyes, lips parted just slightly. You can barely see him out of the corner of your eye and it's driving you insane. You want to see how his pupils are blown wide, how he wets his lips when you make a noise against his hand. You want to see how fucking good he looks while making you feel like this. Fuck it.

You turn your head slightly, eyes glueing onto him. He doesn’t waste a second. He stops thrusting his fingers and leaves them deep in you. All that build up in your belly is ripped from you and you almost sob into his hand.

“What’d I tell you, hm?” He asks but it’s rhetorical.

“Told you to keep your eyes on that movie, sweetheart.” He brings his thumb to your clit and taps it once, then twice.

Your body jolts with each tap, thighs shaking while trying to clamp around his hand. You don’t stop looking at him though. Joel raises his eyebrows.

“You tryin’ to call my bluff, pretty girl?” He gravels in your ear.

Your eyebrows furrow together. No, no, no. That’s not what you’re doing.

“Think I won’t leave you just like this? Stop right now n’ leave you with that mess between your legs?” His voice is so low and steady it gives you a rush.

How can he be so solid? If he asked you to speak right now you’d be stuttering over every word.

“Look at the screen.” He tells you while curling his fingers and tapping them at the inside of your walls.

You must not have moved quick enough for him as he turns your head with the grip he has on you. It’s taking too much effort to look at him from the side of your peripheral vision. So you blink back at the movie with a soft sob.

“Atta girl.” He whispers.

Joel picks up speed and he is giving you no mercy. His fingers move in quicker, harder, firmer thrusts into you. If his fingers are making you feel this way you can’t imagine how his cock will. Every whimper or broken moan comes muffled and you’re thankful for his hand because you genuinely don’t think you could be quiet enough right now.

You’re fully engulfed in Joel. You’ve got one hand of his around your mouth, the other buried deep inside your cunt, his mouth whispers filthy praises between soft, lingering kisses to your temple. All you can smell is him. Long gone is the popcorn, scents from the snack shack or any sense of night summer air. Joel’s scent is running deep through you. Heavy like cedar and clean. His blankets smell like him, too. It’s comforting.

“Can feel you grippin’ me so good, baby. You gonna make a mess on my finger f’me?” He coaxes you and you nod your head to the best of your ability.

You arch your back away from the bed of the truck while he grinds his palm into your clit, fingers curling over and over again. Joel fixes his grip on your mouth in anticipation of what's to come and you can feel the muscles in his bicep flexing around your head.

“That’s it, pretty girl. Want you to give it all t’me.” He leans down to whisper right into your ear, pressing a soft kiss there.

All the muscles in your core tighten, thighs shaking, breath stuttering. You can’t even keep your eyes open anymore, they’re screwed shut.

“Doin’ so good.” He praises softly. “Gonna make a mess. Go on n’ give it to me.” He presses a long kiss to your temple, the heel of his palm giving you the much needed friction on your clit. “Let me feel you, my sweet girl.”

That was it. Your hand scrambled for something to hold onto, like the weight of Joel’s brooding figure surrounding you wasn’t enough. You bunched the fabric of his shirt in your fist and sobbed into palm while you came. Hot and frantic, arousal gushing between your thighs while your walls spasmed around his fingers.

“That’s it, darlin’.” He coo’s while groaning softly.

His fingers move slower, riding you out through your high. Your body jerks and twitches as he slowly rubs into your overstimulated clit but his tight hold keeps you still for the most part.

“Look so pretty, baby. You did so good.” He praises in such a sweet voice.

He peppers kisses on your cheek and your temple before slowly unsheathing his fingers all while loosening his grip over your face. You take a deep breath in now that your mouth is uncovered.

“Easy, baby girl.” He whispers.

He gently pulls your underwear back to its place and places his two soaked fingers in his mouth. You whine quietly at the sight while turning into him and wrapping your hand around his wrist, pulling his fingers from his mouth to put them in your own.

“Fuck.” Joel mutters as he watches you close your lips around his fingers and suck.

You let them go with a ‘pop’. Joel grips your jaw and pulls you in for a heated kiss, his wet middle finger and thumb pressed into the flesh of your cheeks. It wasn’t long but it was strong and hard and laced with want.

The static on the radio is what causes the kiss to break. You both lifted your heads to see the end credits rolling for the second film. You couldn’t stifle the quiet laugh that bubbled from your lips and neither could Joel. You rest your head on his chest for a moment before he taps your back.

“We gotta get outta here.” He mutters while sitting up with you.

“You in a rush?” You ask while tilting your head.

“I’d say a lil’ bit, yeah.” He rubs his hand over his beard and chuckles.

“For what?” You rest your hand on his leg and he shoots you a knowing look.

He opens his mouth to say something but hesitates for a second.

“I’m a man of my word.” He says flatly while shrugging his shoulders and beginning to pack up the snacks and blankets strewn across the bed of the truck.

You furrow your eyebrows.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

Do you? You give him a confused look. You don’t think you do.

Regardless, you help him clean up. He’s working rapidly, haphazardly shoving unfolded blankets into the bags they were once folded neatly in. Once everything is squared away, he’s hopping off the tailgate and gesturing you with his hands.

“C’mon now.” He rasps.

You follow and he helps you off the tailgate. Once settled into the cabin of the truck Joel pulls out- a little too fast. You think you might be the first car to pull out after the second movie ended. The soft and sweet Joel you pulled in here with is long gone. This Joel is rushed and filled with determination. There's no humming sweet songs and no shared soft glances. He’s paying attention to the road. One hand white knuckles the steering wheel while the other has a firm grip on your thigh. You watch him the whole damn time. The way the muscle in his jaw ticks. The way his forearm flexes as he readjust the grip on your thigh with his thumb rubbing circles onto the outside. You let your eyes fall down his torso and your breath hitches when you see the bulge in his jeans. Strained and you’re positive he’s throbbing.

Man of his word.

It is rattling around in your brain right now.

Thoughts of baking the cake flood your mind. Then the phone call the night before that and-

There it is.

He promised you something specific. And you haven’t exactly had the chance since then. You keep this revelation to yourself and lean over the center console to place your hand on his knee. He jerks it away from you in surprise but slowly relaxes back in the seat.

“What’re you doin’?” He asks with his voice taught.

“Nothing.” You say simply while inching your hand up his thigh.

“Careful.” He warns.

You ignore his words and slip your hard over his bulge. He hisses through his teeth and grips the steering wheel so hard the leather squeaks.

“Everything okay?” You say sweetly, paying no mind to your actions right now.

You palm him gently before tracing your fingers over the outline of his cock and you can see his body go rigid.

“Knock it off while I’m drivin’.”

“Hm?” You hum, only half paying attention to him while rubbing your thumb over his erection.

“Said knock it off.” He spits.

“Oh, you want me to stop?” You ask while wrapping nimble fingers around him.

He sucks in a sharp breath and grits his teeth. He doesn’t answer but does shoot daggers in your direction. You bite your bottom lip to stifle a laugh that he doesn’t find amusing. You reel your hand back to drop into your own lap and lean back into your seat. A few moments pass while you each exchange pointed gazes and Joel rolls to a stop. You pull your eyes off him and look around- your car.

“Listen to me-” Joel starts while turning to you. “Want you to get out the truck, start up your car and drive home. You think you can do that?”

You furrow your eyebrows and glance between him in the car, unable to read his mood for a moment.

“Are you leaving?” You ask with your handle on the door.

He shakes his head.

“Want you to take your car home so I can park down the street. Y’don’t think your lil’ roommate’ll start askin’ who’s truck is outside everynight?” He tilts his head, a smile toying at the corners of his lips.

Your smile is wider though. You nod your head and hop out of the truck.

“You drive safe, y’hear me? I won’t be but right behind you, sweetheart.” Joel tells you before you shut the door and nod your head.

You’re fumbling for your keys to open your door. When you start up the car you waste no time getting a move on. You don’t think you’ve ever made it home faster. You pull into your spot and as promised, Joel pulls down the road a few seconds after and parks a few spots away. You switch the car off and walk briskly to your front door. Fumbling with more keys. You open your door and shout out.

“Ellie? You home?” You wait in the doorway for an answer.

No answer.

She’s not home yet, perfect. You have ample time to get him in without worrying about sneaking about. You turn around and wave Joel in from his car. When he walks towards you he’s got a bit of pep in his step and you can’t help but smile wider. You usher him in and quickly close and lock the door behind him. You have no time to shove your key on the hook because Joel turns you around and immediately connects his lips with yours. Your arms fall limp as you kiss him back. His hands come to cup your cheeks, angling down into the kiss. You sigh softly into him, tilting your head and swiping your tongue along his plump lower lip. He grunts and takes one of his hands off your cheek to grip your hip while the other moves to the back of your head. You absentmindedly toss your keys in the direction of the table in your entry way to free up both hands for Joel. You grip his forearm with one and settle the other on his chest only for a moment before you’re pulling at his flannel, balling it in your hand and tugging at it. He pulls back from the kiss with a soft smile, bringing his hand to push some hair out of your face. You smile back at him, slowly walking the two of you closer to the steps. Joel lets up on his grip and allows you to lead the way. His lips are on yours the second your bedroom door closes.

“Joel-” You whine into the kiss, both hands not fumbling with the buttons on his flannel.

He bites softly at your lower lip, ignoring your plea but he does swat your hands away with one of his before working at his buttons effortlessly. He breaks the kiss to remove his flannel, toss it to the side and do the same with your zip up. He connects your lips again, with force. He’s leading you backwards until the back of your thighs makes contact with the comforter. This feels all too familiar. THe first time you kissed Joel was like this. At that point in time you never would've thought you’d have him the way you do now.

“Lay down.” He instructs and you listen.

You pull yourself onto the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows while kicking your shoes off of the bed. You hear the clunk of Joel's heavier booths toppling over on the floor before he’s on you. Kissing you everywhere but your lips. Starts at your forehead and down your cheek, then your jar and neck and he makes sure to spend a little extra time right at your collar. His beard is a scratchy contrast to his soft, wet lips and it makes you feel hot. You already feel your arousal between your legs again. He’s got you wrapped around his finger.

“You did so good earlier.” He mumbles into your skin. “Kept quiet so none f’those people heard what I was doin’ t’ya. Made a fuckin’ mess on me."

You shudder and pull gently at the hair on the nape of his neck, taking staggered breaths.

“Did you like that?” He pulls back, looking to you for an answer.

You nod your head against the pillows.

“It felt good.” You tell him.

“Know it felt good, baby. Had to keep my hand over your mouth. Made me real upset I couldn’t hear those sweet noises you were makin’.”

He slips his knee between yours to prevent you from clamping your thighs together and you writhe under him for a moment. You sigh softly in response.

“Joel, please just touch me.” you say quietly, almost unsure if you want him to hear it.

You have been beyond patient, and you can’t function properly until you feel him. You need it. You’re craving something you’ve never fully had.

“Alright, baby. I got you.” He says with a nod.

He meant it. His large hands are making quick work of your shorts and underwear. You gasp at the cool air making contact with your core. It makes you draw your knees up to press your thighs together. Joel shakes his head and lands both of his hands on your knees.

“Weren’t you just beggin’ me to touch you? How you reckon I do that like this?” He asks while pushing your knees apart.

You swallow thick and let him. His eyes follow your body while he sinks to his knees. Joel wraps his arms under your thighs and pulls you to the edge of the bed. You make a small noise of surprise that's quickly drowned out with a moan. His hot, open mouth is on you in seconds. Licking thick, long and slow strips up your folds. Your hand finds his hair immediately and grabs hold there. He hums into your core, pulling you flush to him with his grip on your thighs.

“F-Fuck, Joel. I-“ You whimper through heavy breaths.

He sucks gently at your swollen bud before pulling back and peppering soft kisses to the inside of your thigh, leaving damp marks behind. As he lifts his head he splays his one hand across your lower stomach, dipping his thumb past your slick folds to circle your clit.

“What’s wrong baby?” He coo’s.

“Need.. Need you.” You choke out while peering down at him and you moan at the sight.

Hair tousled, lips glossy and pupils blown like saucers.

“Need what? Want you to tell me.”

You toss your head back into the mattress in frustration. He knows what you need.

“More.” You say quietly, bucking your hips into his hand.

“Be specific. Let me hear you say it, sweet girl.” He presses another kiss to your thigh that makes you twitch.

“Fuck me.” You whimper, almost embarrassed to beg him like this.

“I’ve got you.” He says simply while leaning in to place a lasting, wet kiss to your cunt.

He pulls back and stands, the metal clank of undoing his belt has never sounded so good. The leather ripping through the denim loops made your heart beat faster. You struggled to remove your cami while he undressed himself but when you did you tossed it in a pile with the rest of the forgotten clothing.

You had to remind yourself not to drool. Joel’s body is beautiful. Tanned skin turns pale where his shirt covers him in the sun. The dark hair in his chest tapering down his stomach, leading to his swollen cock. He looks down to you with almost a pained expression while stroking his cock a few times.

“Y’look so fucking good.” He mutters while taking a step closer, his thighs now pressed into the mattress.

Fuck, you can practically feel the heat off him, he’s so close.

“Please, Joel. Please.” You sob out, squirming on the bed.

“I know, I know.” He whispers softly.

You part your legs, taking him between your thighs while propping yourself up on your elbows. Joel has one hand on your hip and the other hand gripping the base of his cock. He rubs the head of his cock through your slick folds a few times and you gasp loudly when he brushes past your clit. The noises leaving your mouth already are filthy.

“Fuckin’ soaked.”

“Joel.” You drag out a whine of his name impatiently.

“Shh, s’okay.” He reminds you.

Slowly he pushes the tip of his cock into you.

“Fuckin’- God.” He hisses through a tight jaw.

You felt all the muscles in your stomach tighten as he pushed you open. It pinched, the way his thick cock stretched you and you winced. But the promise that it would soon turn sweet was more than enough reason for you to withstand it. You suck in a sharp breath and toss your head back. Joel now has both hands gripping your hips as he sinks fully into you.

“Feel like you were fuckin’ made for me.” He lets out a guttural groan.

He keeps his hips pushed against your for a few seconds and just as you thought, that tight pinch had subsided and you needed him to move. You squirm beneath him, hands fisting your comforter below you, elbows sinking into the mattress.

“Joel-” You pant out. “Need you to move.” You whimper.

He doesn’t respond but does put his hand back where it was to thumb at your clit. You curse under your breath as he rubs slowly, pulling out of you. You already miss how full you felt. Full of him, to the brim. His hand at your hip keeps you still while he sets an agonizingly slow pace for his thrusts, rolling his hips forward before drawing them out.

“Fucl. You feel me here?” He rasps, pushing down on your lower stomach with his hand that was stimulating your clit.

The added pressure makes you see stars and the moan that left your throat was pathetic. He continues to thrust but picks up the speed just slightly.

“Give me your hand.” He asks but grabs your one hand before you have the chance to do anything.

He places it on your lower stomach, and places his large one over it. He pushes down on your hand, adding that weighted pressure again while he fucks into you.

“Feel that, baby girl?” He looks at you with lust filled eyes.

You do. You do feel him, deep inside of you and you feel the bulge of him under your palm.

“Fuck, yes.” You sob out.

“Taking me so good.” He groans.

You screw your eyes shut and let yourself fall back into the mattress, arms feeling like jelly with all of your nerves working overtime. Joel ends up swatting your hand away from your belly after some time before resuming his hold on your hips and yous into the comforter. He snaps into your hips with more force, not changing the pace but putting more weight behind each and every thrust. More concentrated. Joel was completely consumed by you. He couldn’t think about anything else other than the way your cunt hugged him so perfectly. About the lewd, wet noises while he fucked into you. About how sweet it is to hear the sounds you make. About how badly he wants to make you feel good. For Joel, this is all about you.

You arched your back away from the bed and Joel tightened his grip on your hips, the repeated heavy thrusts making your orgasm approach quickly and Joel can tell by the way your walls flutter around him.

“Squeezin’ me so fuckin’ good, angel face. You gonna cum, hm?” He hums while his thrusts grow more eager.

You nod your head quickly, barely being able to form the simple word, but a long string of breathless moans fall from your lips instead. That’s enough for Joel.

“Good girl.” He praises in a strained voice, his own orgasm building as his cock throbs inside of you but he wouldn’t dare to spill before you do.

You force your eyes open and as hard as it was to do that you are grateful to see what is before you. Joel Miller fucking into you, muscles straining under his skin with the iron grip on your hips. The light sheen of sweat covering his torso. The way his face flushed and the look in his eyes alone could make you come undone. The way your breathing hitches and your moans tick up a pitch signals Joel as to just how close you are.

“Gonna cum on my cock, pretty girl? Make a fuckin’ mess on me?” He gravels through labored breaths. “Let me hear you.”

You don’t hold back at all, filthy moans dripping from your lips with every breath.

“Fuck! Joel I’m gonn-”

“Cum for me, pretty girl.” He says while returning his thumb to your clit, not rubbing but just adding pressure.

And you do. It rips through you, white hot. You don’t know if any of the noises leaving your mouth are coherent right now but you don’t care and neither does Joel. It feels too good to finally be taken like this by him. You’re sure theres a few broken cries of his name in there, you can tell by the way Joel curses under his breath and lets out his own strangles moans.Joel doesn’t move his thumb but he continues to fuck you through it. Your skin is on fire right now and Joel is fueling it. Your walls spasm and grip him tightly, arousal gushing around him only to make the wet slapping noises more prominent.

“That’s it, baby Fuck- So, fuckin’, good.” Joel spat while delivering a harsh thrust between every word.

His thrusts are growing more sloppy, the force behind them is wavering only slightly. Your limbs feel like jelly and the only thing grounding you is Joel’s grip.

“M’gonna cum- fuck. Gonna cum, darlin’.” He moans.

“Please.” You sob out and he lets his head fall between his shoulders.

“So fucking good baby.” He praises you and you whimper in response.

Your hand wraps around one of his wrists and holds it tightly. Joel lifts your hips just off the mattress and fucks into you roughly a handful of times before swiftly pulling out of your cunt and letting his soaked, throbbing cock rest on your lower belly. He pushes his hips forward as he cums, spilling his seed over your hot skin, strangled grunts leaving his lips. Joel collapses a bit, his grip on your hips is gone and his fists and pushes into the mattress on either side of your torso. He lets his head hang while he breathes heavily. You watch him with your lips parted, moaning at the pure sight of him.

“Fuck.” he mumbles after a beat, his ribs still expanding and deflating.

Slowly he lifts himself back up and reaches a hand down to cup your cheek.

“You did so good, sweetheart.” He says with a hoarse voice and you whimper at the skin on skin contact.

“Gonna clean you up, pretty girl.” He says breathlessly.

You turn your head and half assed point to a towel that's hanging up. Without another word Joel grabs it and comes back over to you, gently wiping his cum from your belly. You twitch and squirm, nerves on high after everything that just happened. The drive in. How close he held you while fingering you in front of all those people. The way he just fucked you into your mattress. You were having a hard time wrapping your head around all of it and you were grateful Joel is caring for you. You don’t have the energy to do anything else but let him right now.

“So pretty.” He praises softly while wiping up the last bit on your stomach.

Joel carefully places a hand on your thigh and parts them. You whine quietly at the sensation.

“I know, I know.” He comforts while bringing the towel to wipe at the slick between your thighs.

You choke out a small whimper and squirm, thighs shaking under his grip.

“Easy, baby. S’alright.” He reminds you and leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

Joel tosses the towel to the side before returning to you once more. You feel the mattress dip beside you as he settles behind you. He’s slipped his boxers on at some point, and pulls the blanket around you to offer some sort of covering. He pulls you into his chest and presses kisses to your head.

“You did perfect.” He whispers into your hair.

You close your eyes and hum softly, leaning back into him as he holds you by your waist.

“So beautiful,” He kisses again. “Proud of you.” He mumbles there.

Bliss. That's the only way you can describe what you’re feeling right now. Soft and warm, spent and having Joel coddle you afterwards. You couldn’t ask for anything more. You close your eyes and sigh deeply while relaxing into the bed. Joel slowly combs his fingers through your hair, brushing the strands out of your face when you speak up.

“Thank you for today.” It comes out barely a whisper.

“Don’t have to thank me for any of that. I’d do all of it and more to see that pretty smile on your face.” He drawls while leaning to press a kiss to your temple.

That's the last thing you remember before lulling off to sleep with Joel holding you snugly

[pintobug]

hii. i’m not dead <3

i’m just busy and burnt out. but i have a request lined up to post soon. and the 9th chapter of maintenance !

[pintobug]

I want to be a better writer, but it's hard when it's:

• 5% cool shit that you think of

• 95% filler to justify the cool shit

[pintobug]

That’s big dick energy.

[pintobug]

cowboy take me away

[pintobug]

omg- the few i just got. i can’t. you guys are great. open for more, always. i will work on the ones i got ♥️ THANK YOU!!!

does anyone have any oneshot/scenarios/hc for joel they’d like to see? i think breaking uo writing maintenance with little things like that would help me ♥️ send any of them through my inbox!!

[pintobug]

does anyone have any oneshot/scenarios/hc for joel they’d like to see? i think breaking uo writing maintenance with little things like that would help me ♥️ send any of them through my inbox!!

[pintobug]

was not expecting to tear up from this. thank you all so much ♥️

[pintobug]

maintenance

chapter 8: double feature

rating: 18+ MDNI

masterlist

summary: you see jesse again at the bar with ellie & joel surprises you!

word count: 13.3k

tags: light conflict between friends, fingering, praise kink!!, semi public fingering (lol), p in v sex (FINALLYYYY YESSS), age gap! joel is 46 reader is 23, idfk let me know if i missed any lol

a/n: im so HAAAAPPYYY to finally post this monster. 13.3k words?? i got stuck on it so many times so it is later than i expected but i am happy with it. im happy for them. i love when good things happen to the characters i create <33 hopefully it lasts! 😬 i want these two to be happy. anyways. as always, please let me know any and all feedback. i love to hear it. good or constructive or bad. i want it all <3

p.s. i had the idea for this title of this chapter when i first started writing it and the rocky horror soundtrack has been stuck in my head for the past week. fun fact. a lot of the titles are coming from songs that i listen to while writing. chapter 7 i think was from a song by the fray, chapter 5 was a harry styles song. and theres also a few times i think in chapter 6 from a song by alvvays. and joe is humming a marty robbins song in this chapter lol. if you guys are every interested in my fucked up selection of songs while writing this, let me know!

Half asleep, you turn over and what was once the warm, solid sleeping body of Joel is now an empty space. It startles you. This isn’t the first time you woke up to him missing but it doesn’t feel any better. You immediately start to scramble around the bed for your phone and find it tangled up in the comforter. Your eyes aren’t even fully open yet when you pull up his contact and press ‘Call’.

“Where are you?” You blurt out the second the ringing line pauses, and you hear the soft rumble of his truck on the other line.

He chuckles lowly before responding.

“M’sorry, darlin’. I left you a note.”

“A note? What note?” Your voice is hoarse and tickles the back of your throat.

“On the bedside.”

You rub the sleep from your eyes and whip your head around. Sure enough there is a little sticky note sat there with something scratched into it. You lean over with a grunt and scratch it up to read:

‘Had to take a job. Call you when I’m done. :)’

The little smiley faces eyes were so damn crooked, but it made your heart warm.

“Fuck. Sorry, Joel.” You whisper into the line.

“No reason t’be sorry, darlin’.” He says smoothly.

“Wait- Did Ellie catch you?” Immediately all your senses are at an all time high as you sit on the edge of your mattress.

“I’m stealthier than I look. I promise.” He chuckles into the phone. “No, she didn’t see me.” You could practically hear the smile on his lips.

You close your eyes and exhale slowly.

“Okay..” You trail off.

The both of you are silent over the staticky line. Just the sound of his truck driving on the road for a moment.

“What are you doing today?” Joel is the one to break the silence.

“Nothing. Frank cut me from my shift today. I guess as a thanks for last night.”

Joel hums in acknowledgement even if he still doesn’t know the specifics of what happened yet.

“Do you need me to take you to your car this morning? Drove past it on my way to the job and it’s still standing.”

A small smile curls the corner of your mouth while you search through your drawers to put on clothes for the day. It feels nice, Joel’s voice filling your room while doing something so mundane. It’s calm.

“No, I don’t need my car at all this morning.”

“Alright. Can I pick you up ‘round four tonight? I’ll take you to it then. How’s that sound, sweetheart?” The way the multitude of sweet names roll off his tongue makes your stomach flutter.

“That sounds just fine to me.” You bite back a too wide smile that he can’t even see.

You could easily walk to get your car, Joel knows that. But him offering to take you to it makes you want to let him.

“Alright.” Joel muses, satisfactory.

“Alright.” You repeat his words in a light tone.

“You have a good day, baby.”

“You too, Joel.”

You hang up and cover your face with your hands and make a small squealing noise out of excitement. Sure, you were upset to wake up and not see Joel. But the promise of seeing him later makes up for it. You slip on a loose t-shirt and biker shorts and make your way downstairs. In the midst of all your giddiness you completely forgot about Ellie. You do your best to not look so surprised when you see her sipping coffee from a mug in the kitchen.

“Hey.” She calls out as you make your way past the threshold.

“Good morning.” You say while showing her a soft smile.

“You okay?” She raises an eyebrow smile taking another long sip.

You think for a moment before answering.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” You nod your head while reaching into a cabinet for your own mug.

“The fuck happened last night? You made me all nervous by not answering.”

You shoot her a sympathetic look.

“I know, I know.” You mumble while pouring some coffee into your mug.

You start to fill her in on last night, minus Joel's appearance, while making your coffee.

“I was just about to leave, walked out into the dining room and all of a sudden- it’s fuckin’ packed.” You tell her while stirring sugar into your mug.

“And I mean fuckin’ packed.” You put emphasis on your words while Ellie listens intently.

“Aw, shit.” She mutters as you go on.

“I haven’t seen it like that, ever. People were asking for shit left and right. The damn computer service went down. It was an utter shit show.” You tell her while focused on pouring cream into your coffee.

You pause to take a long sip, Ellie does as well.

“And get this, to top it all off- I wasn’t even two blocks away when-” Your mind caught up with your words and you paused.

“When…?” Ellie gestures with her hands for you to finish.

“I got a flat tire.” You say flatly.

“Damn. You can’t catch a break. Is it fixed?” She asks.

You swallow thickly and nod your head, dancing around the fact that Joel, your maintenance man, came to rescue you from your flat tire and your panic attack.

“It’s fixed.”

“You can fix a flat tire now?” Ellie questions.

Fuck. Stop being so shady about it, just come out and say it, dammit. It’s right on the tip of your tongue.

“No- called a company to come out.” You lie.

Again.

It doesn’t feel good. The hot coffee you're pushing down your throat tastes sour after that. You set the unfinished coffee on the counter.

“Nice. I didn’t see it outside this morning, I figured you left real early. Thought I heard you coming down the steps.” Ellie says simply while walking to the sink and rinsing out her mug.

Stealthier than he looks, right? Wrong.

You blow raspberries while your mind races for excuses.

“Well.. It was really late by the time the company came out. Didn’t feel safe while driving.” You speak a little too quickly but Ellie doesn’t ever turn around to look at you, she just hums and nods her head while at the sink.

“And- I don’t know what you heard this morning.” You tack on at the end.

Ellie shrugs her shoulders.

“Don’t know I was half asleep.” She’s so casual through this conversation and you envy it.

You swallow thickly and nod your head slowly.

“What’re you doing today?” You take the moment of silence to change the subject.

Ellie turns around and leans against the counter to look at you.

“Going back to the bar in a little bit.” Her eyes darted around a bit before looking at you.

You know why. The bar. Owen. The other night you picked her up from the airport and she confronted you with that. You quickly convince yourself that pretending not to remember would be the best situation.

“Mm, nice.” You hum, staring into your coffee mug.

“Jesse’s working, too. Maybe you’ll swing by?” It sounds like a peace offering that you didn’t know you needed.

“Maybe-“ Joel’s voice in your head reminds you that he’ll pick you up at four.

Think of an excuse. Think. Think. Think.

“For lunch. A late lunch.” You say while nodding your head mostly for yourself.

“Lunch?” Ellie questions with a raised brow.

“Lunch.” You amend with a shrug.

“Right.” Ellie says before pushing off of the counter and slowly trudging out of the kitchen.

Her comment made your heart twinge a little. Dismissive or maybe unbelievable. Unbelievable would be true in this case. You sulk against the counter top, wrapping your arms around yourself for some sort of comfort. You go back and forth. Should you just come out and say it? How many times have you said that to yourself in the past few weeks? It’s starting to get old. If you tell Ellie, do you have to tell your father and if you tell one and not the other is that making the situation worse? What about Joel? Joel deserves to know. You groan and close your eyes tightly. You can’t get stuck in this loop all day.

Today will be good. It has to be. You’ll see Ellie and Jesse at the bar for late lunch and then you’ll get to see Joel for a little bit to pick up your car.

Ellie left for the bar a few hours ago and you figured now was a decent time for your visit. You dress yourself in a worn t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

Your walk there was pleasant, the sun was warm and the breeze made it bearable. You’re greeted with the smell of stale beer and fried food, it almost makes you moan. You look over behind the bar- no Ellie.

Just Jesse.

Standing back there, shining a glass with a stupid look on his face. You groan quietly and make your way over to him. You haven’t seen him since that night with Owen. Then he tattled on you to Ellie and you didn’t really want to see him right after that to be honest. You plop down on a bar stool and spin side to side while staring at him. He almost looks amused. Your eyes narrow.

“Where’s Ellie?” You ask sharply.

“Tapping kegs downstairs. Stuck with me for a little.” He says simply.

You scoff at him and fold your arms over your chest.

“You’re an ass.” You mumble under your breath.

“Haven’t seen you in a little while. Thought you died.” Jesse muses while setting the glass down, ignoring your previous comment.

“Wish I did.” You deadpan.

“Oh, you’re being dramatic for a change?” He feigns shock. “What else is new?”

“Why don’t you tell me? You’ve been real chatty lately.” You sneer at him and then suck at your teeth.

He chuckles and shakes his head while leaning into the bar.

“Ahh, so that’s what we’re doing, hm?” He hums.

You roll your eyes at him before leaning in over the bar and speaking in a tight, hushed tone.

“You ran and fuckin’ tattled on me to Ellie.”

“She asked how the night went!” He says defensively.

“So you spilled your guts?” You shove yourself off the bar and lean into the back of the stool again, pushing air from your lungs with force.

“I didn’t think it was a big deal.” He says honestly.

“Clearly you didn’t think at all.”

“Oh god-“ He groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re being dramatic. Ellie doesn’t really give a fuck like that. She was just concerned for you.” He says while lifting his head to look at you. “Friends talk about shit like that, you know?” His tone is a little sharper at the end.

You don’t respond and let the silence hang for a bit. The both of you continue to give side glances to each other.

“Hey, barmaid- let me get a grilled cheese, yeah?” You speak up, slapping a hand down onto the bar top.

He looks at you with a- ‘You gotta be fucking joking’ kind of expression. And you love it. You eat it up. As much as he annoyed you for running to Ellie you know it wasn’t in malice. But you don’t want to let him off too easily.

“And I want a pickle. I don’t care if it doesn’t come with it.” You quickly tack that on at the end, already knowing what his retort would be.

Jesse stands at attention and mocks a salute.

“Yes, ma’am.” He holds it for a second before dropping it and turning towards the kitchen while grumbling under his breath.

You mock his words quietly to yourself. A familiar laugh from the stairwell catches your attention. Loud, bubbly and echoing in the mostly empty bar. Ellie turns the corner and slips behind the bar to wash her hands.

“Hey! I didn’t know what time late lunch was,” She chuckles at her comment, wearing an expression that looks a little surprised to see you. “Glad you came by though, I think Jesse was getting bored with hearing details of the trip.”

You smile and sit forward in your chair, resting your elbows on the bar.

“He deserves the boredom. And more.” You smile sweetly.

Ellie sucks her teeth and laughs. “Spicy. Did you see him yet?”

Jesse exits the kitchen just in time to hear Ellie and holds his hands up in surrender.

“Did she see me? Yeah, she came in swingin’.” He finds his spot just next to Ellie behind the bar.

Ellie pretends to wince. “You two still going on about Owen-“

“God- no. Please. I’m tired of talking about him.” You cut her off with a whine while hanging your head between your shoulders.

The two of them chuckle at you and agree to drop it.

“Alright, then. No sulking at the bar.” Ellie taps her hand against the top a few times.

You sit up straight and smile warmly while watching her sort through a few different bottles, the soft clanking of glass against glass filling the room.

“Wanna try this?” She holds out a bottle filled with dark liquor.

You make a face immediately and Jesse laughs.

“Don’t make her try that shit.” He snatches the bottle out of Ellie’s hands. “Practically fuckin’ gasoline. Don’t need her puking up her grilled cheese on the bar.”

The soft dinging of a bell is muffled by the swinging kitchen doors.

“Speaking of-“ Jesse places the bottle back down and heads into the kitchen.

Ellie smiles and starts to unload the dishwasher behind the bar while talking with you.

“Grilled cheese, huh? Not even a menu item.” She shakes her head.

You shrug your shoulders, smiling wider as Jesse returns with your sandwich.

“And a pickle? What the fuck.” Ellie gestures to the basket as Jesse sets it on the bar.

He shrugs his shoulders.

“Had to pull some strings.” He says smoothly.

You enjoy your sandwich while going back and forth with Jesse and Ellie about anything. Ellie can’t stop bringing up her trip with Dina. You can’t get enough of the details, but Jesse? He looks like his eyes might fall out of his head if he rolls them again. Slowly but surely the bar starts to fill up as time goes by, laborers start filing in and filling the bar with dull chatter. Your two friends have less and less time to hang around chatting with you so you take advantage of it to slip out without question. It’s nearing 3 o’clock and you’d like a little time to get ready to see Joel.

“I’m gonna head out before it gets too busy in here.” You speak up when Ellie walks back over to you.

She nods while grabbing a beer glass and filling it from the tap behind the bar.

“What’re you gonna get up to?” She asks over her shoulder without taking her eyes off the glass.

“Um.. Not much,” You can’t come up with a lie quick enough and she turns her head to finally look at you confused. “Probbaly go visit my dad.” You blurt out once you see her expression.

Her face softens and she smiles while nodding her head. “Tell him I say hi.”

You nod quickly and leave cash on the bar to cover your bill and then some.

“That’s for you. Not Jesse.” You slide it over the bar towards her and she chuckles.

“Alright, I’ll see you at home.” She shakes her head and waves you off.

You push yourself off the barstool and wave back before turning to exit the bar.

You got home with enough time to shower, fix up your hair and put on a better outfit. You settled with a decent cami, a pair of shorts and a dark zip up hoodie. Not exactly suggestive but enough skin is exposed for your liking.

You have to admit it is a little ridiculous that you’re having him do this. Pick you up to go get your car that really isn’t that far away? Any excuse to see him, honestly. You hope he comes back to your house before Ellie gets home but you wouldn’t think twice about sneaking him in again. It was fun.

You’re slipping your sneakers on when you hear those three knocks at the door. He can’t really be at the door right now, can he? You expected a text or a call to let you know he’s here. You quickly walk to the door and open it.

“Hey there, darlin’.” His sweet drawl makes your insides turn to mush.

You gawk there in awe for a moment while he stands there before you, truck idling just behind him. A dark blue flannel stretches over his broad shoulders, the first two buttons are left undone to show off the thin white t-shirt he has on underneath. He’s still got his jeans on, but they don’t look like the ones ridden with paint and glue and everything else under the sun. They’re nice and clean, the same goes for his boots. You lift your head to look at him and- holy shit. Did he shower for this? His hair is still a little damp and it looks like it was pushed back but this Texas humidity keeps it looking unruly in the best way. He doesn’t look like he just finished up a day's worth of work.

“Hi Joel.” You spit out after a few seconds go by.

He chuckles while taking a step closer and holding out his hand for you to take.

“Ready?” He asks.

You furrow your eyebrows but take his hand in yours.

“…To go get my car? Yeah. I’m ready.” You say, now suspicious of him.

“What’re ya lookin’ at me like that for?” He says while leading you to his truck, that lopsided smile plastered on his lips.

“Don’t know just yet.” You side eye him when he holds the door open for you and you climb into the passenger.

He sucks his teeth while shaking his head. Joel shuts your door and rounds the hood to get into the driver's seat. He slowly pulls the truck out of the spot and heads towards the car you abandoned last night. Music spills out of Joel’s radio, some older western music you haven’t heard before. It’s very on brand for Joel, though. You’d be surprised if he didn’t have it all burned into a tape. Joel stops at the red light and you can see your car on the street.

“Well, it’s still there.” You say and look over to Joel who still has a sweet smile on his face.

“‘Course it is.” He says.

The light turns green and he makes the turn but coasts swiftly past your car.

“Joel-“ You turn around in your seat to look at your car now disappearing behind you. “That was my car.”

Joel looks over his shoulder for a moment before directing his attention back to the road.

“Hmm, weird ain’t it?” He hums in amusement and continues to drive.

You turn in your seat and look back at the car and back to him.

“Joel, what’re you doing?” You ask again in confusion.

He shrugs his shoulders, tossing one of his hands palm up.

“Dunno. Just letting the wind take us.. I guess.” He says nonchalantly.

You furrow your eyebrows and look at him in pure confusion while you stutter on your words. Joel chuckles and places his hand on your knee, giving it a soft squeeze.

“Calm down. Y’look like ya saw a ghost.” He flashes a wide smile at you. “Relax. Just listen to the music, sweetheart.”

You pinch your face up at him before forcing air from your lungs and relaxing into the seat. What the fuck is going on? Your mind is racing. Where is he taking you? You know the area so you’re really not too concerned but.. What the fuck? That’s all that's going through your mind.

Joel removes his hand from your knee to turn up the knob on the radio. The cabin floods with the plucking guitar and Joel’s humming. You swear you hear him muttering the words of the song.

“I was in love, but in vain, I could tell.

One night, a wild young cowboy came in, wild as the West Texas wind,

Dashing and daring, a drink he was sharing

With wicked Feleena, the girl that I love.”

His voice never wavered but it also never carried. It was strong and solid but soft in volume compared to the radio. It was comforting and adorable, you thought. It makes him human. Joel really knows the words to songs like this? And is singing them while sitting next to you? He surprises you every day.

A few songs go by and you’re starting to get impatient.

“Where are we going?”

“Told you already.” He says.

“You only said ‘Just lettin’ the wind take us’” You emphasize your southern drawl and lower your voice to mock him the best you can.

This earns a hearty chuckle from Joel.

“I don’t sound nothin’ like that.” He retorts.

“Something like that,” You smile. “Can I get a hint?”

He pretends to ponder it for. second. “Nope.”

You whine quietly. “Please? Just one?”

He shakes his head. “Not a single one.”

You lean back into the passenger seat and cross your arms over your chest while you think.

“We have to be going somewhere. You got all dressed up.” You point out while leaning your head back on the headrest.

“Dressed up?” He chuckles and looks down at his clothes. “S’just what I wear.”

“But you took a shower before.”

“I did take a shower after workin’ all day, you’re right.” He sucks at his teeth.

“Is it something cool?” You turn your torso towards him.

He takes a moment to give you a look for a few seconds.

“Quit it.” He says while tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“I just wanna know-“

“In due time, darlin’. In due time.” He interrupts your pleas and you let out an exaggerated groan.

He goes back to humming the songs pumping through his radio and you decide to peer out the window to try and get a guess where he’s taking you. You look over to him and open your mouth to say something at least three times and all he does is ‘Shhh’ quietly and wave you off. You exhale deeply and become complacent in the silence. It’s not bad, at all. But him being so secretive is making you beyond impatient.

Ten minutes go by.

Fifteen minutes.

Twenty minutes go by of Joel’s humming and his hand on your knee before you sit up straight.

“I feel like I’m gonna go crazy, Joel-“

“We’re here.” He says while slowing the truck down to turn down an unpaved road.

You whip your head around to look out the windows. Outside is filled with trees and greenery lining the road.

“Where is here?” You ask while twisting in your seat to look out the opposite window.

“Here.” He says and pulls his hand from your knee to point at a large marquee.

Your jaw drops as you lean forward in your seat.

“Oh- no fucking way.” You spit out.

Mustang Ridge Drive-In Theater Presents:

Double Feature

The Evil Dead (1981)

The Evil Dead || (1987)

Joel pulls farther into the unpaved road to the break in the trees and there it is-

A large clearing in the trees with a huge white screen stretched between poles. There has to be tens if not hundreds of feet of string lights laced between the towering trees that illuminate the patrons below in a soft orangey light. Cars of all kinds lined up in perfect rows. The smell- oh my god, the smell. A small snack shack tucked into the side wafting buttery popcorn into the air, with tons and tons of colorful packages of different candies stacked high.

Joel rolled all the windows down as he pulled closer to the booth. The soft chatter of the other movie goers filled the cabin, the smell stronger than before. You smile widely back at Joel who's already watching you.

“You’re serious?” You ask while leaning over the center console.

“As a heart attack, darlin’.” He smiles while leaning in to press a soft peck to your lips.

“You’re sneaky.” You giggle against his lips.

“Told you I’m stealthier than I look.” He smirks while turning to the booth attendant to start chatting.

That leaves you speechless.

Stealthier than he looks.

You thought he was full of shit earlier but he might actually be right. You couldn’t see this happening if it bit you on the ass.

Joel slowly rolled away from the booth and turned into one of the last rows and backed into an open spot with the cabin of the truck facing the trees. You looked over your shoulder to the bed of Joel’s truck.

Clean.

No tools.

No dirty tarps and buckets filled with god knows what. It’s clean with two large duffle bags in it.

He cleaned the bed of his damn truck for you?

“Joel- oh my god.” Is all you could say.

“Y’alright?” He asks while turning the car off.

“Am I alright?” You scoff a laugh at his ridiculous question.

He chuckles while getting out of the car and rounding the front to open your door. He smiles while you scramble to unbuckle your belt and hop out. You bounce on the balls of your feet in excitement and trail behind him as he walks to the tailgate of his truck. He lowers it and picks you up just like he did last night and sets you on the edge.

“You stay here.” He tells you while patting the tops of your thighs.

You nod your head and swing your feet while they dangle. Joel swiftly hauls himself into the bed of the truck and seconds later you hear rustling behind you. It takes all the every ounce of strength you’ve got to not turn around but you wait, patiently and take in the scenery in front of you. The sun is sitting lower in the sky but it hasn’t started to turn yet. The blazing heat is no longer there, it’s been replaced by a chilly wind and the trees help shade from whatever is left of the sunlight.

Joel calls your name from behind you and it pulls you out of your day dream. You whip your head back and find him standing right behind you. You crane your neck to look at him and grab his outstretched hand. He secures his larger hand around yours and helps to pull you up. Joel steadies you as you stand with a hand on your hip.

“Not much, but I hope s’alright for ya.” He says quietly at your side.

He’s got a big comforter laid out on the bed of the truck, a handful of pillows stacked along the back with a few smaller blankets rolled up on either side of the bed walls. A back pack lays to one side, candies and bags of snacks spilling out of it from being so stuffed. Beside the pack is a small, black portable radio. Your heart swells and your stomach flips.

“You did all this for me?” You ask but your eyes don’t leave the little set up he made for the two of you.

“‘Course it is.” He says.

You look over at him. He looks timid, or bashful? Like that rough around the edges attitude he’s usually got going on has melted away into a boyish hue. A shy smile hides under his beard. It makes your chest tight.

“Well c’mon n’ sit with me. Should be starting soon.” He completely steers the conversation away from him and guides you towards the pile of pillows. He lets you settle down first before finding his spot next to you and pulling the snack bag into his lap. He starts to pull them out one by one.

He’s got red vines, MNM’s, a flask, gummy bears, skittles, a chocolate bar, another chocolate bar,-

You watch in awe and keep thinking the next thing he pulls out has to be the last.

Sour gummy worms, a water bottle, another water bottle, a soda can, hard candy and another can of soda.

“Don’t think you ever told me what your favorite..Anything is. So I got everythin’.” He says while gesturing to the pile of candy and drinks.

You blink while slowly taking it all in.

“This is.. Wow.” You say while taking a deep breath.

“Wow?”

“Wow.” You repeat.

“These are my favorites.” You say quietly while picking up the sour gummy worms.

Joel plucks them from your hands and opens the bag before handing it back to you. You’re a bit surprised but you thank him and lean into his side. He lifts his arm to wrap around your shoulders, his hand gently clamping around your upper forearm like it belonged there. It felt so right. You weren’t concerned about anyone seeing you and it didn’t seem like Joel was, either. The pair of you tucked into one of the very last rows, the walls of his truck bed shielding you from any curious eyes.

The loud speaker on the snack shack crackles to let everyone know which station to tune the radio to and Joel grabs the portable one and turns the knob to the right channel. He sets it on the side of the truck and sighs softly while pulling you closer.

“I didn’t think you’d be the kind to like zombie movies.” You whispered while resting your chin on his shoulder and looking up at him.

“M’not.” He chuckles and eyes you.

“Why’d you pick this then?”

“Wanted to take you out. You’ve got the first one on DVD in your entertainment center.”

“What? How do you know that?” You sit up from him and look at him, bewildered.

He looked down at you with a soft smile.

“The night of the storm when I came over, you were watching movies-“

You nod your head while listening, memories of the stormy night start to flood your mind.

“Did you watch it? It was sitting on the top of it.”

You don’t respond right away, just look at him in disbelief.

“I was going to. How did you notice that?” You ask.

“I put it back into the entertainment center. When I put away the candles.”

You almost forgot about that. When you came down all the candles were blown out and on the coffee table. God, how could you forget about that?

“Why’d you do that?” You ask, since you never got the chance to before.

“You fell asleep. I was ‘bout to leave. Didn’t want to leave you with a buncha clean up after you let me come in. Saw a few movies sittin’ there n’ I checked ‘em out. When I was done I slipped ‘em back on the shelf.” He speaks calmly.

So, so calmly. It stirs something in your stomach. He’s talking so casually about doing something so domestic for you, it almost makes your eyes cross.

“You're something special, you know that?” You say while leaning into him again.

He smiles sweetly but ignores your comment with a squeeze to your shoulder.

“Movies startin’, sweetheart. Pay attention.” He nudges you and pulls you even closer.

The beginning credits roll and surely the movie starts. You smile to yourself and pop a sour gummy into your mouth here and there. Joel would unscrew the cap to a water bottle and offer it to you throughout the movie. He’d slouch into the pillows and pull you with him, your head nuzzled comfortable into his chest. You’re trying your hardest to pay attention to the movie but the steady thud in Joel’s chest is distracting. The way your head rises and falls slowly with his concentrated breaths is distracting. His hand rubbing along your arm and lingering light kisses to the top of your head, is distracting.

You find your eyes straying from the large screen and focusing on Joel. Making it as inconspicuous as possible. You look at his boots, the way the denim of his jeans stretches over his wide lap and the glimmer of his belt buckle reflecting light from the film. You notice how soft his belly looks and absent mindedly slip your arms across his midsection, tugging yourself into him. Joel hums pleasantly and looks down to you, his hand ceasing the rubs on your arm to brush over your hair a few times.

“Gettin’ comfortable?” He whispers and you nod against him.

He smooths your hair a few times slowly before his hand finds a perch at your hip. Your zip up has fallen behind you and your cami has scrunched closer to your waist. Joel’s hand is warm on your skin. So warm it reminds you how chilly it is now that the sun has set.

“Where’d you stick those blankets?” You whispered while craning your neck to see him.

He looked down to acknowledge you but reached beside him without a word and presented the rolled up flannel material. He unrolled it and splayed it across both of your lower bodies and returned his hand to your hip, under the blanket to trace small circles there

The two of you barely move once the first film ends. The hum of the summer bugs now fills the empty air. The loud speaker boots up again to announce a fifteen minute intermission before the second film starts. You sit slowly from your comfortable but squished up position against Joel and stretch your arms out. He watches you with a smile that hasn’t seemed to have left his lips once this evening.

“Thought you might’ve fallen asleep.” He muses.

You laugh breathily and shake your head.

“No, but I probably could’ve.” You tell him.

He chuckles before looking around at the other cars, some people exiting and chatting softly.

“You fill up on them sour things? Or you think you got room for somethin’ good?” He gravels.

You purse your lips in thought, leaning back and placing a hand on your belly. You definitely ate more sour gummy worms than you should’ve- but maybe you could snack on some real food.

“Hmm. What’re you thinking?” You ask while bringing yourself to your knees and shuffling over to him.

Joel wraps an arm around your thighs, just under the curve of your rear and pulls you into him with a low hum. You laugh and place your hands on his shoulders to prevent yourself from fully toppling over him.

Joel presses a kiss to your shoulder, exposed from your draped zip up.

“Was thinkin’-“ He pressed another kiss to the base of your neck.

“We could go over to that shack over there-“ Another kiss to your throat.

“N’ I’ll get you whatever your lil’ head could think of.” A kiss to your jaw.

“Now, how's that sound, sweetheart?” He pulls back just enough to get a good look at your face.

Your face. It was burning. The way he grabbed you and kissed you all over in front of all of these people. Granted they weren’t all looking at you, odds are none of them were, but his public display of affection towards you made your stomach tighten in the best way. You swallow thickly and nod your head.

“Sounds good, Joel.” You smile lazily.

“Alright, pretty girl. Let's go.” He gives your rear a playful smack, as if to signal you to get a move on.

You let out a noise of surprise and Joel chuckles at your reaction, already making his way to the tailgate and slipping off with a quiet grunt. He brushes his hands off on his thighs and holds a hand out to you.

“You comin’ or what?” He says while running a hand through his hair.

The playful glint in his eyes warms your heart. You scramble after him while laughing and joining your hand with his to jump off of the tailgate. He doesn’t let go of your hand once you’re on the ground with him, just gives it a squeeze and leads you towards the snack shack. The two of you wait in line, illuminated by the shitty neon lights that flicker and buzz louder than the cicadas in the trees.

Joel has been sneaking glances at you all night. You haven’t caught him yet, he thinks. He can see out of the corner of his eye that you’re sucked into reading the menu above the shack. He turns his head and allows himself the time to take you in. Joel Miller is not the poetic type. Not the mushy words or flowers at every turn type. But something about seeing you in this too-bright neon signage lighting knocks the wind from his lungs and makes him want to be the poetic type. It makes him want to be the mushy words and flowers at every turn. To him, you look like something he isn’t allowed to touch. Most would think he’s too old to get so tied up by a girl reading the snack shack menu but you look so gentle in this lighting. Your mouth is softer, and your eyes are more gentle. You look like you aren’t carrying everything you were last night. Like just for a moment he was able to lift it up and give you a break. He notices all of you. The curve of your cheek and the way the string lights twinkle in your eyes. The slope of your neck and how your lashes catch the light.

You make him ache. It isn’t just about wanting you because- Fuck, does he want you. It’s how you make him feel seen. Like he can be softer, too. He likes being out and about with you, staring at you like this. Protective, hungry and quietly in awe.

You pull your attention away from the menu to look at him and to your surprise he’s already watching you.

And he still doesn’t look away.

Joel ends up ordering two different kinds of tacos because-

“Well, I want one of those n’ one of these.” He tells you while settling down into the bed of the truck again, beside you. “We can trade one each. Best’f both worlds, hm?”

He hands you the container and all you can do is laugh at him while popping it open.

“Alright, take your pick.” You hold the box out to him.

He smiles widely while taking one and placing one of his into your box.

“There ya go.”

The two of you eat in silence. That's how good these tacos are.

“Holy shit- these are amazing.” You say through a bite while covering your mouth with your fist.

Joel hums in amusement while nodding his head.

“Knew you’d like ‘em.” He says after swallowing.

He packs the boxes away when you two finish, just in time for the second movie to start, beginning credits are rolling on the screen as the two of you get comfy again. Joel tunes the radio in for the second time and sets it to the side before handing you a water bottle. You take it graciously and take a sip. Joel pushes himself against the cabin of the truck, sitting up against it. You take the opportunity to swing both of your legs over his lap and lean into his side. He wraps his broad palm around your calf and rubs small circles with his thumb then slips it up to your knee and back down your ankle. Repeat.

The film drones in but neither of you are watching anymore. You’re so close to him, warm and smelling sweet. Every time you shift it pulls something deep in his gut. He’s trying to be good, trying to play it safe, but then his fingers find the hem of your shorts and you lean closer into his chest like you need him. He can feel your breath warm his chest through his shirt.

“Y’alright?” He whispers.

You nod and look up. “Mhm. You?”

He meets your eyes and lets them linger.

“Yeah.”

Joel’s doing that thing again. Looking at you like his thoughts are racing and he’s holding back. You want him to stop holding back. You feel his hand tightening around your thigh, the tips of his fingers grazing just under the hem of your shorts. He leans in. It’s slow and intentional. You watch his eyes drop to your lips and that's all it takes.

Fuck the movie.

You lean into him and kiss him gently, testing. It builds quickly. Parted lips against his, tongue rolling past his lips to twist into his. One of his hands cups your cheek while the other palms the flesh at your hip, slipping back to rub over the curve of your ass and stopping at the side of your thigh. He’s not rushing, just exploring slowly. You let out a soft noise into his mouth that causes him to groan.

Joel pulls back to break the kiss just long enough to whisper. “You want me to stop?"

“No- No, Joel. Please.” You say breathlessly.

The pair of you shift, frantic and hungry. His fingers dig into your hip but you ignore it. The movie is still playing in the background now half forgotten. Joel’s touches grow more possessive, less hesitant. He pulls from the kiss and pushes your head to the side and connects his lips to the soft skin just under your jaw. He leaves slow, wet, open mouthed kisses there while the coarse hairs of his beard leave a tight burn.

“I been thinkin’ ‘bout you all week, sweetheart.” He whispers against your skin.

His words flip your stomach over and over again. You’d be lying if you said anything different. You’ve dreamt of him daily and nightly. His rough touches and soft kisses, how warm his breath felt fanning between your thighs. It seems so long ago. He promised to give you what you wanted so, so long ago and between sneaking around and stress from work weighing on you, the both of you haven’t had the opportunity.

“Couldn’t wait to get my hands on you. Y’looked so good when I picked you up.” He mumbles with lips brushing yours.

He connects his lips back to yours feverishly while pulling you closer with his hand at the back of your head. You place your palm at the base of his neck, fingertips pressing gently into his warm skin.

Joel slides his hand between your knees and you reposition yourself to spread your legs. You feel his lips tug into a faint smile. He moved with you, laying you on your back while slipping his bicep under your head, bending his elbow to grip your jaw and keep your head turned towards him to prevent breaking the kiss. Joel is laid on his side, his chest pressed into the side of your ribcage with his hand that isn’t gripping your jaw splayed under the blanket over your lower stomach, finger tips brushing against the soft skin of your belly. You rolled your hips up into his hand and he pressed into your belly to pin your movements.

“Poor thing. Kept you waiting a long time, hm?” He pulled back from the kiss to look down at you.

You nodded your head frantically, the heat piling up quickly in your lower stomach. Embarrassment flooded your cheeks while he pointed out just how eager you were. Joel slipped the tips of his fingers past the waistband of your shorts and it knocked the wind clear from your lungs. You turned and buried your head into his chest that you felt vibrate with a chuckle.

“Barely even touched you.” He states.

You grip the fabric of his shirt where your hand sits at his collar and pull on it while whining quietly.

“Touch me, Joel.” You whisper into his broad chest while your free hand wraps around his forearms and pushes his hand a bit lower, his fingers brushing the hem of your panties.

The noise he makes turns your stomach. It’s raw and rugged and filthy. It matches the way he kisses you after you say that. Hot, open mouths with his angles down into yours. His hands push into your pants further, cupping your covered sex snugly. You buck your hips again, searching for any additional pressure, any additional friction he’s so kind to offer. But you found none, just the heel of his hand pressing into your mons to ground your hips for the second time.

“You need to calm down, pretty girl. Can’t have any wandering eyes knowing what I’m doin’ to you.” He rasps into your ear after pulling back from the kiss.

You feel your lower lip tremble in frustration. It’s completely unfair that the first chance he gets to touch you like this in days is in the bed of his truck with people only a few feet away. You were grateful for the blanket covering the both of you even if it grew warmer and warmer underneath.

The arm Joel has under your head cranes again and grips your chin, turning your head away from him to present your neck to him. He takes advantage immediately, pressing open mouth kisses to your collar and all the way up to your jaw, he stops to suck for a quick second before releasing or to blow air softly over the damp spot he leaves.

“Fuck, Joel.” You stifle a moan.

He continues kissing lazily at your neck while grinding his hand into your damp panties. Your knees are bent slightly, thighs clamped around his wrist but it doesn’t stop him. He runs his middle finger along the wet spot in the center of your panties.

“Poor thing. Must’a been achin’ these past few days.” He pressed a hot kiss by your ear.

It sends a shiver down your spin and white heat into your lower belly.

“Huh? You been thinkin’ ‘bout this, sweet girl?” He taps three fingers against your clothes folds and your body twitches in reaction.

You nod your head quickly but he tuts his tongue.

“Lemme hear you. N’ you better say it quietly.”

“Yes, Joel.” Your voice is just above a whisper. “Been thinking about you every night.”

He hums in satisfaction while toying with the elastic of your panties before pulling them to the side. You didn’t realize how much they were suffocating you, the freedom he now had sent a fresh wave of arousal right between your thighs and you gasped. A little too loudly. Joel’s hand on your chin quickly clamped over your mouth, cutting your gasp with his broad palm. Your eyes were wide and darted over to him rapidly. He could feel the soft puff of your frantic breaths from your nostrils on his finger. It made a sickening smile spread across his lips. A knowing smile.

“Don’t know how many times I gotta tell you, baby. Gotta be quiet.” He presses a kiss to your temple while finally dipping his fingers between your folds.

His hand muffles a whimper rumbling at the back of your throat. He presses his fingers more firmly against your mouth, ceasing any other remaining noises that threaten to spill. He drags two fingers from bottom to top, collecting your slick as lubricant to circle gently around your clit. The muscles pull hard in your stomach, your soaked walls spasming around nothing.

Your eyes are still wide and looking at Joel, silently pleading through muffled grunts and whines. He looks down at you, almost sympathetic to your whines and twitches.

“No need to worry, pretty girl. I’ll take care f’ya.” He reassures you but moves his fingers no differently.

Agonizingly slow circles with the occasional tap from his middle finger. Your settled arousal has now completely soaked your underwear that's tugged to the side. Joel slides his middle finger down your slit, rubbing the tip of his finger at the rim of your cunt, barely pushing inside. This does something to you. The tease, his smug look while he watches your reaction and the building anticipation in your lower belly. Days and days of day dreaming about this happening and he’s teasing you. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes and they don’t go unnoticed by Joel.

“Awh, c’mon now, sweetheart. Need it that bad?”

You nod to the best of your ability, his hand still clamped over your mouth.

“Tell you what, sweet girl.” He whispers into the top of your head while his finger continues to tease. “Gonna give you what you want-.” He kisses the top of your head. “What you deserve.” He corrects himself. “But you can’t take your eyes off that movie. Y’hear me?” He pulls back to look down into your blown black, glossy eyes.

You mumble against his hand and for a second he removes it to allow you to speak.

“Y-Yes, Joel. Pleasepleaseplea-“ You pant a few times and Joel cuts off your please by clamping his hand there again.

He sucks his teeth and shakes his head, his fingers stopping where they are.

“You forget the first thing I told you? Told you to be quiet, too. You think you can handle all this at once?” He asks and you nod your head swiftly.

“Good girl.” He praises softly.

You lock your eyes onto the movie that's projecting before you, not taking in a single frame of it. All that's running through your head is Joel.

Joel. Joel. Joel. Joel. Joel.

Joel Miller, your maintenance man. Your auto repair man. Your ‘call during a panic attack man’. Your ‘sneak into the house for a sleepover man’. Your ‘planning secret dates man’. Is this a date? He took you to a secretly planned drive-in movie and is now finger fucking you in the bed of his truck-

It’s a date.

Your thoughts don’t have much time to spiral because Joel finally pushes one of his thick fingers into your cunt. It’s warm and slick and hugging his digit. He groans while bottoming out to his knuckle. He keeps it there for a moment before drawing it out and pushing it back in slowly. He sets a painfully slow pace. One that makes your thighs shake with need and your already strained breath catches in your chest.

“Doin’ real good.” He says softly against your hair.

His palm muffled the sob that you choke out. You buck your hips into his hand, silently trying to tell him you want more, you need more. You need him. He fully removes his finger from your slick when you do this.

“Greedy lil’ thing.” He comments before pushing his middle and ring finger into your pussy.

Your body buckles against his and he ‘shh’s you quietly.

You feel your walls stretch around his second digit, merely uncomfortable for a second before turning sweet. Joel pumps his fingers at a slow, steady pace. He cranes his thumb to rub into your clit every time he sinks his fingers deeper into your cunt. He leans in and leaves a few lingering kisses into your hair, his warm breath fanning down your neck. The frames of the movie are blurred and moving too quickly for you to absorb any of it. They flutter when Joel curls his fingers upwards. A lewd, drawn out whine gets caught in his palm.

“Keep watchin’ that.” He reminds you when your head starts to turn towards him.

He tightens his grip over your mouth, not painful but there's enough pressure to know he’s serious. Your breaths are quick through your nose while your core grows white hot. That familiar bubbling in your lower belly sets in. Joel watches your body react. Your chest rises and falls quickly but it sputters when he takes a moment to curl his fingers while bottomed out in you. His slick thumb adds pressure just above your clit and draws small circles.

Joel resumes fucking his fingers in and out of you, curling his opposite bicep to keep your close to his chest. He’s looking down at you with half lidded eyes, lips parted just slightly. You can barely see him out of the corner of your eye and it's driving you insane. You want to see how his pupils are blown wide, how he wets his lips when you make a noise against his hand. You want to see how fucking good he looks while making you feel like this. Fuck it.

You turn your head slightly, eyes glueing onto him. He doesn’t waste a second. He stops thrusting his fingers and leaves them deep in you. All that build up in your belly is ripped from you and you almost sob into his hand.

“What’d I tell you, hm?” He asks but it’s rhetorical.

“Told you to keep your eyes on that movie, sweetheart.” He brings his thumb to your clit and taps it once, then twice.

Your body jolts with each tap, thighs shaking while trying to clamp around his hand. You don’t stop looking at him though. Joel raises his eyebrows.

“You tryin’ to call my bluff, pretty girl?” He gravels in your ear.

Your eyebrows furrow together. No, no, no. That’s not what you’re doing.

“Think I won’t leave you just like this? Stop right now n’ leave you with that mess between your legs?” His voice is so low and steady it gives you a rush.

How can he be so solid? If he asked you to speak right now you’d be stuttering over every word.

“Look at the screen.” He tells you while curling his fingers and tapping them at the inside of your walls.

You must not have moved quick enough for him as he turns your head with the grip he has on you. It’s taking too much effort to look at him from the side of your peripheral vision. So you blink back at the movie with a soft sob.

“Atta girl.” He whispers.

Joel picks up speed and he is giving you no mercy. His fingers move in quicker, harder, firmer thrusts into you. If his fingers are making you feel this way you can’t imagine how his cock will. Every whimper or broken moan comes muffled and you’re thankful for his hand because you genuinely don’t think you could be quiet enough right now.

You’re fully engulfed in Joel. You’ve got one hand of his around your mouth, the other buried deep inside your cunt, his mouth whispers filthy praises between soft, lingering kisses to your temple. All you can smell is him. Long gone is the popcorn, scents from the snack shack or any sense of night summer air. Joel’s scent is running deep through you. Heavy like cedar and clean. His blankets smell like him, too. It’s comforting.

“Can feel you grippin’ me so good, baby. You gonna make a mess on my finger f’me?” He coaxes you and you nod your head to the best of your ability.

You arch your back away from the bed of the truck while he grinds his palm into your clit, fingers curling over and over again. Joel fixes his grip on your mouth in anticipation of what's to come and you can feel the muscles in his bicep flexing around your head.

“That’s it, pretty girl. Want you to give it all t’me.” He leans down to whisper right into your ear, pressing a soft kiss there.

All the muscles in your core tighten, thighs shaking, breath stuttering. You can’t even keep your eyes open anymore, they’re screwed shut.

“Doin’ so good.” He praises softly. “Gonna make a mess. Go on n’ give it to me.” He presses a long kiss to your temple, the heel of his palm giving you the much needed friction on your clit. “Let me feel you, my sweet girl.”

That was it. Your hand scrambled for something to hold onto, like the weight of Joel’s brooding figure surrounding you wasn’t enough. You bunched the fabric of his shirt in your fist and sobbed into palm while you came. Hot and frantic, arousal gushing between your thighs while your walls spasmed around his fingers.

“That’s it, darlin’.” He coo’s while groaning softly.

His fingers move slower, riding you out through your high. Your body jerks and twitches as he slowly rubs into your overstimulated clit but his tight hold keeps you still for the most part.

“Look so pretty, baby. You did so good.” He praises in such a sweet voice.

He peppers kisses on your cheek and your temple before slowly unsheathing his fingers all while loosening his grip over your face. You take a deep breath in now that your mouth is uncovered.

“Easy, baby girl.” He whispers.

He gently pulls your underwear back to its place and places his two soaked fingers in his mouth. You whine quietly at the sight while turning into him and wrapping your hand around his wrist, pulling his fingers from his mouth to put them in your own.

“Fuck.” Joel mutters as he watches you close your lips around his fingers and suck.

You let them go with a ‘pop’. Joel grips your jaw and pulls you in for a heated kiss, his wet middle finger and thumb pressed into the flesh of your cheeks. It wasn’t long but it was strong and hard and laced with want.

The static on the radio is what causes the kiss to break. You both lifted your heads to see the end credits rolling for the second film. You couldn’t stifle the quiet laugh that bubbled from your lips and neither could Joel. You rest your head on his chest for a moment before he taps your back.

“We gotta get outta here.” He mutters while sitting up with you.

“You in a rush?” You ask while tilting your head.

“I’d say a lil’ bit, yeah.” He rubs his hand over his beard and chuckles.

“For what?” You rest your hand on his leg and he shoots you a knowing look.

He opens his mouth to say something but hesitates for a second.

“I’m a man of my word.” He says flatly while shrugging his shoulders and beginning to pack up the snacks and blankets strewn across the bed of the truck.

You furrow your eyebrows.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

Do you? You give him a confused look. You don’t think you do.

Regardless, you help him clean up. He’s working rapidly, haphazardly shoving unfolded blankets into the bags they were once folded neatly in. Once everything is squared away, he’s hopping off the tailgate and gesturing you with his hands.

“C’mon now.” He rasps.

You follow and he helps you off the tailgate. Once settled into the cabin of the truck Joel pulls out- a little too fast. You think you might be the first car to pull out after the second movie ended. The soft and sweet Joel you pulled in here with is long gone. This Joel is rushed and filled with determination. There's no humming sweet songs and no shared soft glances. He’s paying attention to the road. One hand white knuckles the steering wheel while the other has a firm grip on your thigh. You watch him the whole damn time. The way the muscle in his jaw ticks. The way his forearm flexes as he readjust the grip on your thigh with his thumb rubbing circles onto the outside. You let your eyes fall down his torso and your breath hitches when you see the bulge in his jeans. Strained and you’re positive he’s throbbing.

Man of his word.

It is rattling around in your brain right now.

Thoughts of baking the cake flood your mind. Then the phone call the night before that and-

There it is.

He promised you something specific. And you haven’t exactly had the chance since then. You keep this revelation to yourself and lean over the center console to place your hand on his knee. He jerks it away from you in surprise but slowly relaxes back in the seat.

“What’re you doin’?” He asks with his voice taught.

“Nothing.” You say simply while inching your hand up his thigh.

“Careful.” He warns.

You ignore his words and slip your hard over his bulge. He hisses through his teeth and grips the steering wheel so hard the leather squeaks.

“Everything okay?” You say sweetly, paying no mind to your actions right now.

You palm him gently before tracing your fingers over the outline of his cock and you can see his body go rigid.

“Knock it off while I’m drivin’.”

“Hm?” You hum, only half paying attention to him while rubbing your thumb over his erection.

“Said knock it off.” He spits.

“Oh, you want me to stop?” You ask while wrapping nimble fingers around him.

He sucks in a sharp breath and grits his teeth. He doesn’t answer but does shoot daggers in your direction. You bite your bottom lip to stifle a laugh that he doesn’t find amusing. You reel your hand back to drop into your own lap and lean back into your seat. A few moments pass while you each exchange pointed gazes and Joel rolls to a stop. You pull your eyes off him and look around- your car.

“Listen to me-” Joel starts while turning to you. “Want you to get out the truck, start up your car and drive home. You think you can do that?”

You furrow your eyebrows and glance between him in the car, unable to read his mood for a moment.

“Are you leaving?” You ask with your handle on the door.

He shakes his head.

“Want you to take your car home so I can park down the street. Y’don’t think your lil’ roommate’ll start askin’ who’s truck is outside everynight?” He tilts his head, a smile toying at the corners of his lips.

Your smile is wider though. You nod your head and hop out of the truck.

“You drive safe, y’hear me? I won’t be but right behind you, sweetheart.” Joel tells you before you shut the door and nod your head.

You’re fumbling for your keys to open your door. When you start up the car you waste no time getting a move on. You don’t think you’ve ever made it home faster. You pull into your spot and as promised, Joel pulls down the road a few seconds after and parks a few spots away. You switch the car off and walk briskly to your front door. Fumbling with more keys. You open your door and shout out.

“Ellie? You home?” You wait in the doorway for an answer.

No answer.

She’s not home yet, perfect. You have ample time to get him in without worrying about sneaking about. You turn around and wave Joel in from his car. When he walks towards you he’s got a bit of pep in his step and you can’t help but smile wider. You usher him in and quickly close and lock the door behind him. You have no time to shove your key on the hook because Joel turns you around and immediately connects his lips with yours. Your arms fall limp as you kiss him back. His hands come to cup your cheeks, angling down into the kiss. You sigh softly into him, tilting your head and swiping your tongue along his plump lower lip. He grunts and takes one of his hands off your cheek to grip your hip while the other moves to the back of your head. You absentmindedly toss your keys in the direction of the table in your entry way to free up both hands for Joel. You grip his forearm with one and settle the other on his chest only for a moment before you’re pulling at his flannel, balling it in your hand and tugging at it. He pulls back from the kiss with a soft smile, bringing his hand to push some hair out of your face. You smile back at him, slowly walking the two of you closer to the steps. Joel lets up on his grip and allows you to lead the way. His lips are on yours the second your bedroom door closes.

“Joel-” You whine into the kiss, both hands not fumbling with the buttons on his flannel.

He bites softly at your lower lip, ignoring your plea but he does swat your hands away with one of his before working at his buttons effortlessly. He breaks the kiss to remove his flannel, toss it to the side and do the same with your zip up. He connects your lips again, with force. He’s leading you backwards until the back of your thighs makes contact with the comforter. This feels all too familiar. THe first time you kissed Joel was like this. At that point in time you never would've thought you’d have him the way you do now.

“Lay down.” He instructs and you listen.

You pull yourself onto the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows while kicking your shoes off of the bed. You hear the clunk of Joel's heavier booths toppling over on the floor before he’s on you. Kissing you everywhere but your lips. Starts at your forehead and down your cheek, then your jar and neck and he makes sure to spend a little extra time right at your collar. His beard is a scratchy contrast to his soft, wet lips and it makes you feel hot. You already feel your arousal between your legs again. He’s got you wrapped around his finger.

“You did so good earlier.” He mumbles into your skin. “Kept quiet so none f’those people heard what I was doin’ t’ya. Made a fuckin’ mess on me."

You shudder and pull gently at the hair on the nape of his neck, taking staggered breaths.

“Did you like that?” He pulls back, looking to you for an answer.

You nod your head against the pillows.

“It felt good.” You tell him.

“Know it felt good, baby. Had to keep my hand over your mouth. Made me real upset I couldn’t hear those sweet noises you were makin’.”

He slips his knee between yours to prevent you from clamping your thighs together and you writhe under him for a moment. You sigh softly in response.

“Joel, please just touch me.” you say quietly, almost unsure if you want him to hear it.

You have been beyond patient, and you can’t function properly until you feel him. You need it. You’re craving something you’ve never fully had.

“Alright, baby. I got you.” He says with a nod.

He meant it. His large hands are making quick work of your shorts and underwear. You gasp at the cool air making contact with your core. It makes you draw your knees up to press your thighs together. Joel shakes his head and lands both of his hands on your knees.

“Weren’t you just beggin’ me to touch you? How you reckon I do that like this?” He asks while pushing your knees apart.

You swallow thick and let him. His eyes follow your body while he sinks to his knees. Joel wraps his arms under your thighs and pulls you to the edge of the bed. You make a small noise of surprise that's quickly drowned out with a moan. His hot, open mouth is on you in seconds. Licking thick, long and slow strips up your folds. Your hand finds his hair immediately and grabs hold there. He hums into your core, pulling you flush to him with his grip on your thighs.

“F-Fuck, Joel. I-“ You whimper through heavy breaths.

He sucks gently at your swollen bud before pulling back and peppering soft kisses to the inside of your thigh, leaving damp marks behind. As he lifts his head he splays his one hand across your lower stomach, dipping his thumb past your slick folds to circle your clit.

“What’s wrong baby?” He coo’s.

“Need.. Need you.” You choke out while peering down at him and you moan at the sight.

Hair tousled, lips glossy and pupils blown like saucers.

“Need what? Want you to tell me.”

You toss your head back into the mattress in frustration. He knows what you need.

“More.” You say quietly, bucking your hips into his hand.

“Be specific. Let me hear you say it, sweet girl.” He presses another kiss to your thigh that makes you twitch.

“Fuck me.” You whimper, almost embarrassed to beg him like this.

“I’ve got you.” He says simply while leaning in to place a lasting, wet kiss to your cunt.

He pulls back and stands, the metal clank of undoing his belt has never sounded so good. The leather ripping through the denim loops made your heart beat faster. You struggled to remove your cami while he undressed himself but when you did you tossed it in a pile with the rest of the forgotten clothing.

You had to remind yourself not to drool. Joel’s body is beautiful. Tanned skin turns pale where his shirt covers him in the sun. The dark hair in his chest tapering down his stomach, leading to his swollen cock. He looks down to you with almost a pained expression while stroking his cock a few times.

“Y’look so fucking good.” He mutters while taking a step closer, his thighs now pressed into the mattress.

Fuck, you can practically feel the heat off him, he’s so close.

“Please, Joel. Please.” You sob out, squirming on the bed.

“I know, I know.” He whispers softly.

You part your legs, taking him between your thighs while propping yourself up on your elbows. Joel has one hand on your hip and the other hand gripping the base of his cock. He rubs the head of his cock through your slick folds a few times and you gasp loudly when he brushes past your clit. The noises leaving your mouth already are filthy.

“Fuckin’ soaked.”

“Joel.” You drag out a whine of his name impatiently.

“Shh, s’okay.” He reminds you.

Slowly he pushes the tip of his cock into you.

“Fuckin’- God.” He hisses through a tight jaw.

You felt all the muscles in your stomach tighten as he pushed you open. It pinched, the way his thick cock stretched you and you winced. But the promise that it would soon turn sweet was more than enough reason for you to withstand it. You suck in a sharp breath and toss your head back. Joel now has both hands gripping your hips as he sinks fully into you.

“Feel like you were fuckin’ made for me.” He lets out a guttural groan.

He keeps his hips pushed against your for a few seconds and just as you thought, that tight pinch had subsided and you needed him to move. You squirm beneath him, hands fisting your comforter below you, elbows sinking into the mattress.

“Joel-” You pant out. “Need you to move.” You whimper.

He doesn’t respond but does put his hand back where it was to thumb at your clit. You curse under your breath as he rubs slowly, pulling out of you. You already miss how full you felt. Full of him, to the brim. His hand at your hip keeps you still while he sets an agonizingly slow pace for his thrusts, rolling his hips forward before drawing them out.

“Fucl. You feel me here?” He rasps, pushing down on your lower stomach with his hand that was stimulating your clit.

The added pressure makes you see stars and the moan that left your throat was pathetic. He continues to thrust but picks up the speed just slightly.

“Give me your hand.” He asks but grabs your one hand before you have the chance to do anything.

He places it on your lower stomach, and places his large one over it. He pushes down on your hand, adding that weighted pressure again while he fucks into you.

“Feel that, baby girl?” He looks at you with lust filled eyes.

You do. You do feel him, deep inside of you and you feel the bulge of him under your palm.

“Fuck, yes.” You sob out.

“Taking me so good.” He groans.

You screw your eyes shut and let yourself fall back into the mattress, arms feeling like jelly with all of your nerves working overtime. Joel ends up swatting your hand away from your belly after some time before resuming his hold on your hips and yous into the comforter. He snaps into your hips with more force, not changing the pace but putting more weight behind each and every thrust. More concentrated. Joel was completely consumed by you. He couldn’t think about anything else other than the way your cunt hugged him so perfectly. About the lewd, wet noises while he fucked into you. About how sweet it is to hear the sounds you make. About how badly he wants to make you feel good. For Joel, this is all about you.

You arched your back away from the bed and Joel tightened his grip on your hips, the repeated heavy thrusts making your orgasm approach quickly and Joel can tell by the way your walls flutter around him.

“Squeezin’ me so fuckin’ good, angel face. You gonna cum, hm?” He hums while his thrusts grow more eager.

You nod your head quickly, barely being able to form the simple word, but a long string of breathless moans fall from your lips instead. That’s enough for Joel.

“Good girl.” He praises in a strained voice, his own orgasm building as his cock throbs inside of you but he wouldn’t dare to spill before you do.

You force your eyes open and as hard as it was to do that you are grateful to see what is before you. Joel Miller fucking into you, muscles straining under his skin with the iron grip on your hips. The light sheen of sweat covering his torso. The way his face flushed and the look in his eyes alone could make you come undone. The way your breathing hitches and your moans tick up a pitch signals Joel as to just how close you are.

“Gonna cum on my cock, pretty girl? Make a fuckin’ mess on me?” He gravels through labored breaths. “Let me hear you.”

You don’t hold back at all, filthy moans dripping from your lips with every breath.

“Fuck! Joel I’m gonn-”

“Cum for me, pretty girl.” He says while returning his thumb to your clit, not rubbing but just adding pressure.

And you do. It rips through you, white hot. You don’t know if any of the noises leaving your mouth are coherent right now but you don’t care and neither does Joel. It feels too good to finally be taken like this by him. You’re sure theres a few broken cries of his name in there, you can tell by the way Joel curses under his breath and lets out his own strangles moans.Joel doesn’t move his thumb but he continues to fuck you through it. Your skin is on fire right now and Joel is fueling it. Your walls spasm and grip him tightly, arousal gushing around him only to make the wet slapping noises more prominent.

“That’s it, baby Fuck- So, fuckin’, good.” Joel spat while delivering a harsh thrust between every word.

His thrusts are growing more sloppy, the force behind them is wavering only slightly. Your limbs feel like jelly and the only thing grounding you is Joel’s grip.

“M’gonna cum- fuck. Gonna cum, darlin’.” He moans.

“Please.” You sob out and he lets his head fall between his shoulders.

“So fucking good baby.” He praises you and you whimper in response.

Your hand wraps around one of his wrists and holds it tightly. Joel lifts your hips just off the mattress and fucks into you roughly a handful of times before swiftly pulling out of your cunt and letting his soaked, throbbing cock rest on your lower belly. He pushes his hips forward as he cums, spilling his seed over your hot skin, strangled grunts leaving his lips. Joel collapses a bit, his grip on your hips is gone and his fists and pushes into the mattress on either side of your torso. He lets his head hang while he breathes heavily. You watch him with your lips parted, moaning at the pure sight of him.

“Fuck.” he mumbles after a beat, his ribs still expanding and deflating.

Slowly he lifts himself back up and reaches a hand down to cup your cheek.

“You did so good, sweetheart.” He says with a hoarse voice and you whimper at the skin on skin contact.

“Gonna clean you up, pretty girl.” He says breathlessly.

You turn your head and half assed point to a towel that's hanging up. Without another word Joel grabs it and comes back over to you, gently wiping his cum from your belly. You twitch and squirm, nerves on high after everything that just happened. The drive in. How close he held you while fingering you in front of all those people. The way he just fucked you into your mattress. You were having a hard time wrapping your head around all of it and you were grateful Joel is caring for you. You don’t have the energy to do anything else but let him right now.

“So pretty.” He praises softly while wiping up the last bit on your stomach.

Joel carefully places a hand on your thigh and parts them. You whine quietly at the sensation.

“I know, I know.” He comforts while bringing the towel to wipe at the slick between your thighs.

You choke out a small whimper and squirm, thighs shaking under his grip.

“Easy, baby. S’alright.” He reminds you and leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

Joel tosses the towel to the side before returning to you once more. You feel the mattress dip beside you as he settles behind you. He’s slipped his boxers on at some point, and pulls the blanket around you to offer some sort of covering. He pulls you into his chest and presses kisses to your head.

“You did perfect.” He whispers into your hair.

You close your eyes and hum softly, leaning back into him as he holds you by your waist.

“So beautiful,” He kisses again. “Proud of you.” He mumbles there.

Bliss. That's the only way you can describe what you’re feeling right now. Soft and warm, spent and having Joel coddle you afterwards. You couldn’t ask for anything more. You close your eyes and sigh deeply while relaxing into the bed. Joel slowly combs his fingers through your hair, brushing the strands out of your face when you speak up.

“Thank you for today.” It comes out barely a whisper.

“Don’t have to thank me for any of that. I’d do all of it and more to see that pretty smile on your face.” He drawls while leaning to press a kiss to your temple.

That's the last thing you remember before lulling off to sleep with Joel holding you snugly

[pintobug]

hoping to post new maintenance chapter this weekend <3

[pintobug]

aHHH i love that you love THIS so much. i write so much of myself into this so it really really means something so personal to me. i cannot wait for the next few chapters, they’ll be so fun. thank you <3

maintenance

dbf!joel miller x female reader

chapter 7: who’s still standing when the smoke clears?

rating: 18+ MDNI

masterlist

summary: first day back at the diner & a flat tire? joel can make it better.

word count: 5.5k

tags: internal conflict, mentions of anxiety/OCD, mild angst?, little bit of fluff, very transitional chapter im sorry lol, age gap, reader is 23, joel is 46.

a/n: got myself back on schedule. have the next few chapter outlined and i’m excited to write them. thank you all for being beyond patient. <3 also- i've tried to make my writing of reader to be as neutral as possible besides the mention of a little bit of hair length. but if theres ever a sentence of time where you guys think i'm possibly too descriptive of the reader, please point it out!!! i literally just think of myself when writing and have found myself mentioning that readers face turns red when embarrassed while that isn't true for all skin tones. so as i've caught it i've tried to change it to things like 'you feel your face warm' instead. if theres anything i'm overlooking please do not shy away from calling me out! the next chapter will be fun you guys i promise

You did not expect your first day back at Riverside Diner to be so fucking horrendous. It started with two people calling out. Not too bad, but that was just the beginning. Frank was ticked off, but he picked up some tables here and there to take some of the pressure off of you and the other servers. You were nearing the end of your shift, beyond thrilled to go home, get clean and settle down. You’re proud of the way you handled it- just being thrown into the pits of hell like you haven’t missed a day. Bill even tossed some french fries in a paper boat your way, his silent way of thanking you.

You pushed through the swinging doors of the kitchen to look for Frank in the dining room. You locked eyes with him immediately and knew something was wrong. His eyebrows were all pinched up, eyes wide enough to see the whites clear as day and that forced a little too wide smile of his. Frank is moving quickly between the aisles of booths and nodding frantically at the new tables. Your shoulders dropped, the lead weight in your chest pulling them down. You have a feeling you won’t be able to leave right now.

“Hey, sugar.” Frank says with pleading eyes and a sickeningly sweet tone.

You inhale deeply and nod your head, knowing exactly what he’s asking for.

“Need me to stay a little longer?” Deep down you hope he says no.

He nods his head.

“Overheard a few of the tables talking about the arena on campus. I guess there's a band playing- I don’t know. But I need hands, hun. I cut Michelle ten minutes ago. It’s just us.” He wears a pained expression on his face while admitting that last part.

You can’t leave him. You exhale while scanning the dining room, the bell on the door indicating that new customers are filing in is relentless. Slowly but surely table after table filled up, then it was the bar stools and no one was able to flip tables quick enough to keep the line out the door under control. Double sat, triple sat and before you know it there's six tables that don’t have drinks yet. You can’t even think about the bar yet.

“Excuse me!”

You can’t even tell which table it’s from.

Your forced smile is fading and tunnel vision sets in. Frank checks in with you here and there by patting his hand on your back while passing by. He’s running around you, weaving through customers trying to lessen the load. Trays of drinks going out quickly. You’re sure you forgot to put syrup on one of the tables but you can’t remember which. Tightness in your chest reminds you to breathe.

“Come on.. Not now.” You mutter to yourself while repeatedly jamming your finger into the service computer.

It locks up and freezes every now and then but you didn’t have the time for it right now. You’re only halfway through putting the damn order in when it seizes up. You close your eyes and bite back a groan. You can hear the kitchen scrambling, Bill barking out dishes, ticket numbers and tables that he’s still waiting for one more thing. Your throat feels tight. You’re wasting time standing here and just waiting for the stupid fucking computer to pick back up. You slam your guest check down onto the counter and make a round of the tables.

“Can I have a refill?”

You have to double back to grab the cup which wasn’t even empty. It sloshed as you gripped it up and spilled onto your forearm. You cursed under your breath and quickly turned away. Before you dropped that drink off another table stopped you.

“Hi, how much longer for our food?”

Words to the tune of: ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ are bubbling at the back of your throat. You bite them back and force a toothy grin.

“I’ll check.” You feign kindness.

Quickly you drop off the refill and practically run into the kitchen and past the swinging doors. The first thing you notice is the constant mechanical whirr of the ticket printer spitting out the papers non stop. Bill keeps this a well oiled machine but even now there's tickets hanging from the printer that haven’t been looked at yet, bodies darting from station to station- plating, wiping, topping and serving it through the pass. Bill whistles to you and gestures to the plates he set on a large serving tray.

“Booth ten.” He says, scrapping the ticket and piercing it on the pin.

You grab the large tray mindlessly and head back out into the dining room.

Ten. Ten. Booth ten. Ten.

You’re bobbing through people standing in the walkways, your ‘excuse me’s falling on deaf ears.

“Can I have another straw?” “I think I ordered…” “Are there more napkins?” “…An extra side of bacon.”

You don’t even know which direction the voices are coming from at this point. Somehow you make it there in one piece and don’t even remember setting the food down.

“Can we have syrup?” “And some more napkins.” “If you have any hot sauce, we’d love it if you could bring some out!”

Fuck, you knew you forgot the syrup. By the time you grab the bottle you forget what table even asked for it. You chewed nervously on your lower lip while almost jogging up and down the rows of tables before finally- no syrup in this booth. You set it down, apologize and scurry back to the kitchen before they have the chance to get a word in.

The computer. Holy shit you forgot about the fucking computer. You still didn’t finish putting that order in. You try to now show your pure panic on your face while making your way back to the system. You whine quietly, bouncing on your feet impatiently as you wait for the screen to wake up. It takes a few seconds longer than usual but it’s up. All the air leaves your lungs in a long exhale. Quickly, you enter the order that was forgotten about. Double check it and send it.

You’re running on fumes. Your hands are sticky from syrup and drinks splashed up your arms and your apron is covered in crumbs and smeared whipped cream. Your sweat is sticking to your temples and you’re sure you’ve sweat off half your makeup. There's an ache in the soles of your feet and your lower back and your palms and your bladder- you really need to fucking pee.

The bar. How could you forget about the bar? You quickly make your way behind it and check in with each and every customer sitting there. You turn around and refill, turn again and set it back down. You’re grabbing ketchup, cream, sugars, tabasco, syrup, butter squares, silverware and anything else you could think of- they’re asking for it. The sweat is visible running down your temples, beading under your eyes and the top of your lip.

It goes on for so long. So, so long. Frank trying to keep up with tables, Bill trying to keep up with the kitchen and you trying to keep up with survival right now. But there is a turning point. A light at the end of the tunnel where you’re printing more checks than you’re creating. The bell on the front door no longer signals patrons coming in, but going out. You’re actually able to clean a table off here and there.

It ends. Eventually. You don’t know how it ends but it fucking ends. Hours later. Hours after you were supposed to be home and in bed. When the last customer exits Frank quickly locks the door behind them and takes a moment to lean against the door.

“Holy shit.” Is all he says.

You finally get to pee before starting the break down. Your head is buzzing while clearing tables, thoughts on loop of how exhausted you are and how gross all of these tables are.

“Don’t do any silverware. Just.. We just need to get this place looking like a bomb didn’t go off, hun.” He speaks slowly, clearly exhausted while beginning to sweep the floors. You just finished cleaning the last table when Frank lets you go. He shushes you when you tell him you can still help but he thanks you and pulls you into a hug before sending you on your way.

You made it to your car twenty minutes ago but you just couldn’t muster up the courage to start it. The center of your steering wheel is at the focus of your stare the entire time. Grateful doesn’t even begin to explain your feelings towards sleeping in a little more earlier today. You didn’t have enough time to walk, so you took your car. If you had to walk home after all of that you might have lost it.

Empty. Drained. Fatigued.

All accurate words to describe you right now.

In time you manage to start the car then slowly pull out of the spot and start heading home. You turned into the street and stopped at the red light once you reached it. Sighing, you peered over to your phone that's sitting in the passenger seat. There's a few texts from Ellie. That’s it. You’ll see her soon so you don’t need to answer her right now. There's a soft pull in your chest. You were hoping to see a text from Joel, if you were honest with yourself. Something to pick you up after the shit show you encountered.

The light turns green.

You slowly turn the wheel to the right and let up off of the brake and-

POP! Pfffffffffft.

You jump at the loud noise and slam your foot into the break just as your car slowly begins to tilt. You look around frantically with wide eyes.

“Fuck.” You whispered, peeking out into the street.

You gently pushed your foot into the gas, trying to pull to the side and you heard the crunch of glass under your flattened tire.

“Fuck.” You say again but sharper this time.

You quickly throw the car into park and fling the door open, legs moving quickly while rounding the hood of the car and-

There it is.

The flaccid rubber of the passenger side tire.

You refuse to believe it. Theres absolutely no fucking way you popped a tire after the day you just had. The universe has to be playing some sort of sick joke.

Your mouth hangs open. Flat. Throat is dry. Buzzing fills your ears and tears sting your eyes and your fingers start to numb and your chest is tight and the dizziness starts to creep in and now your face is wet from tears you don’t even have to push out. A broken sob leaves your lips. You pat your hands down your jeans and your pockets are empty. There’s fucking syrup everywhere and the sweet smell on your hands is starting to turn your stomach.

Nauseous. Dirty.

You throw open the passenger door and scramble for your phone with trembling fingers. Everything is blurry through the stinging in your eyes but you find your phone and swipe through it maniacally. You don’t even know what you’re doing all you can feel is lead in your chest and in your stomach and pins and needles in your arms and running down your fingertips and-

“Another late night call?”

The sound of his voice makes you cry harder.

“Woah- What's wrong?” His voice is taught and frantic, that slow sultry drawl now thrown out the window.

You choke out his name.

“Where are you?”

You’re babbling and making no sense. Sore. Your eyes are sore and your throat is sore and your nose starts to run.

“Baby, please tell me where you are?”

You hear keys over the line. You’re rubbing your eyes to regain some sight through tears and running makeup while choking out the closest street sign you can make out and that you think there's a coffee shop behind you. You’re stuttering, every word that passes your lips pulls any lasting energy in your body. Hands are so numb you can’t hold the weight of your phone anymore and it bounces back onto the passenger seat while you sob uncontrollably. Raw and broken and loud.

Crumbling onto the curb, you try to soothe yourself by wrapping your arms around your knees. But you’re sticky. And dirty. Your chest is heaving with breaths ripping through your esophagus. There’s nowhere you can go to wash off and you’re all alone with the walls closing in despite being outside, crying too fucking hard to see your hands right in front of your face.

You don’t know how long you’ve been here. It could be seconds, minutes, or even closer to hours. It’s all melting into one. Continuous sobs while your hands paw at your face in a useless attempt to dry it from tears.

You hear his voice in the distance all muffled and broken up between your sobs. The usual roar of his truck engine is just barely there. A sharp pain in your lungs prevents you from taking a full breath. All the muscles are constricting around your chest. You can’t take a deep breath and your eyes are fluttering while the ringing in your ears takes over everything, deaf to any other sound.

If you thought your throat was raw before, you were sorely mistaken. Every breath hurts. Ripping in and out of your esophagus that's heating up from all the irritation to the point where you’d believe it if you coughed up blood.

Two strong hands settling at your shoulders drags you to a somewhat conscious state. Your face is hot, head throbbing from all of the blood whooshing around. You’re hunched over and shaking. The hands. Strong hands. You feel them gently on your cheeks, tilting your head up. You hear your name over the all familiar crashing waves.

Joel is on the verge of panicking himself. His large hands are enveloping the side of your head that's slick with tears and sweat and who knows what else. His calloused thumbs are swiping at the tears but it’s no use. They keep rolling. Joel catches a glimpse of what should be the whites of your eyes- all red and irritated now with puffy lids. Your lips are swollen and red. He can’t tell what is tears, spit, snot or sweat but he doesn’t care. He just needs to make sure you’re okay.

He’s feverishly scanning your body over and over and over again. No wounds. No injuries. That he can see at least. His stomach turns, nursing his own bout of anxiety but anger bubbles over that as the worst comes to his mind.

Did someone hurt you? Did someone fucking hurt you and leave you here?

He can’t spend time seething over the possibility while you’re hysterical in front of him. He needs to reel you in. He starts by whispering your name but it’s overshadowed by your cries and gasps for breath. He repeats it but can see the disconnect. You’re looking through him right now. Not at him. He’s talking but you’re not hearing.

He does the only thing he thinks he could and pulls you into his chest there on the curb with his knees digging into the asphalt. Joel soothes a hand down your back repeatedly and whispers into your ear. He’s talking aimlessly about anything that comes to mind. But it starts to cut through.

He pulls you from his chest after some time and takes another look at you. This time you’re looking at him. Really looking. Pupils dilated. His heart throbs heavily. Seeing you like this makes him sick but he doesn’t dwell on it. He knows he needs to be a rock for you right now and he wouldn’t want to do anything else. All caution is out the window. Joel doesn’t care if anyone sees him consoling a ‘client’ at this time of night. The word leaves a bad taste in his mouth. You’re no damn client to him, no matter how badly he tries to convince himself.

He thinks about you a lot. He tries to control himself, he swears he really does but it’s to no avail. He tries not to contact you the second he opens his eyes and it’s getting painful. He doesn’t have an easy time trying to process these emotions. Forget explaining them. He’s not good with words despite how well he can talk you through it. Joel likes to think his actions speak for themselves.

They do.

The waves begin to settle and the gravel of his voice takes over.

“Shhh, s’okay sweetheart.”

“Gonna need to try and calm down f’me, now.”

“I’ve gotcha, darlin’.”

Your voice is frail and cracking.

“M-My tire.. I’m dirty.” You sputter out through a coughing fit and quieting sobs.

He can just barely make out what you’re saying through your gasps for breath and coughing.

“Are you hurt? Did somebody hurt you?” His voice is soft and unwavering with fear in his eyes.

“No!” You choke out and sob into his hands that linger at your face.

You don’t mean to raise your voice at him but he doesn’t mind. You bring your hands to cover your face but instead they clamp over his hands that cradle your face. He pulls you closer into him, feeling the sticky syrup grab onto his shirt and frowns. It doesn’t bother him really but he knows it's upsetting you.

“C’mon baby, look at me.” Joel tries to coax you through your heavy breathing but you don’t listen.

Slowly he pulls his hands from your face and finds your eyes again. Joel takes both of your hands in one of his and presses it to his chest. He takes slow, calculated breaths that force his chest to expand and collapse.

“Breathe with me darlin’.” He whispers

You tried to focus on the steady rise and fall of his chest but it was hard. Joel reeled you back in with a squeeze of your hands. You can feel the soft thud behind his chest. Steady and strong. You flatten your one palm there and try to focus. Rise and fall and thud. He’s here and he’s real and you can feel him.

You suck in a slower breath through a tight jaw, attempting to match him. It’s broken and shaking but it’s slower. Joel nods his head encouragingly and continues to exaggerate his slow, deep breaths.

You’re almost matching his pace now, your own heart no longer thumping in the base of your throat. Tears are slowing to a drip down your cheeks.

“Are you hurt?” Joel speaks up eventually.

“No.” Your voice is hoarse.

“Why are you out here all alone, sweetheart?”

“Tire.”

He looks over his shoulder at it and then back to you.

“Did something happen before that?”

“Work.” You have no energy to give anything more than that flat, one worded answer.

You can’t force anymore and Joel knows that, so he doesn’t push. He lets you sit quietly against him for some time.

Eventually Joel taps you and pulls you up with him while holding you steady.

“C’mon with me.” He whispers and walks you over to his truck that's pulled in front of your car.

He keeps his arm wrapped around your shoulders as you walk next to him. Joel lowers the tailgate of his truck and turns to you then picks you up like it’s nothing and sets you onto the edge with your legs dangling off. He stands between your knees with hands at your shoulders, steadying you.

“I’ll be right back.” He mutters and leaves you to dig in the cabin of his truck.

You’re slouched over with the weight of the world on your back and your arms collapsed into your lap. You sniff and rub your wet nose with the back of your arm and let it collapse again. Joel returns shortly with a bottle of water with the cap already removed.

“I always got some in the back seat.” He says casually while gesturing it towards you.

You blink at it a few times then look at Joel before slowly taking the water bottle into your shaky hand and bringing it to your lips. He leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead while you take small sips. Then another. And another. And the last one lingers for a long time. The water hurts going down your throat, still swollen and raw from your cries but it will help.

“You tell me if you need somethin’. M’gonna fix that up for you.” He says while giving your thigh a gentle pat and a squeeze.

You don’t respond or react but look at him with wet and irritated dyes. You watch him walk over to your car and ponder for a moment with his hands at his hips and one knee cocked out. He rifles through your trunk before coming out with the car jack. He slips it under the car and starts cranking it up.

Joel works quietly and doesn’t say anything to you while he’s working but he does look at you maybe every ten seconds just to make sure you’re still there and breathing. Maybe to make sure you’re not going off the deep end again. Joel has noticed small comments over the past few weeks but he has never pressed you on anything you haven’t come outright and told him about. But he makes a note in his head to press you about this. Not right now. Or any time tonight. But he will. Joel doesn’t know if he’s helping you and it makes him feel uneasy. Could he be making this worse for you? His only saving grace is that you’re no longer screaming and crying. He replaces your flat tire with the spare in your trunk in record time.

“Still got it, huh?” He jokes lightly.

It’s exactly what he said after moving your dresser into your room and it makes your heart heavy. You remember how you responded all those weeks ago but you do not have the energy to do it now. It doesn’t look like he minds. Without another word he helps you off of the tailgate and sets you back on your wobbling feet. Joel walks with you around his truck to the passenger side and opens the door for you. You grab onto his shoulder while climbing in.

“Stay here.” He says.

You listen, no desire to move in the slightest. The rumble of your car's engine startles you and you whip your head to the side. Joel slowly rolls your car against the side of the road, lining it up before shutting it off again. Guilt pangs in your stomach. Moments later he returns with your phone, bag and keys. He reaches over you to set them all on the center console and lets his hand rest on your knee.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out.

He tuts quietly and shakes his head. He’s pressed into the side of the car, knees pressed into the running board and arm slung over your thighs. His other hand brushes some hair from your face while he whispers to you.

“Nothin’ to be sorry for, baby. When I told you to call me next time you needed me, I meant that. M’proud of you for rememberin’.”

You open your mouth to blubber out another apology but he cuts you off with a simple kiss. It’s sweet. Gentle and warm against your face that feels like an open wound. You barely return the kiss but not because you don’t want to, you simply don’t have the energy to. He pulls back from the kiss and just stays close. Your eyes bore into his, almost ready to cry again from how sweet and gentle he’s being despite not knowing what the fuck is going on.

“Moved your car into an actual spot so you won’t get a ticket. I’ll take you back here tomorrow morning, alright sweetheart?” He hums.

You slowly nod.

“Can I take you home?”

You nod again before Joel buckles you into the seat and gently closes the door. He rounds the hood of the truck and hops in the driver's seat. His hand makes immediate contact with your knee, heavy and comforting as he drives away. The ride is silent other than Joel triple checking if you’re okay. And to remind you to drink water. A few more squeezes of your knee and you’re sitting outside of your house.

Ellie’s room light is on. Fuck.

“She home?” Joel questions while lowering his head to look at what you’re looking at.

“She is,” You say quietly with eyes lingering on the window. “I don’t want you to leave.”

Joel turns the key and the engine rumbles before stopping. He didn’t question your request.

“Can you wait here? I can sneak you in.” You say while unbuckling your belt.

“Sneak? Why do you have to sneak me in?” He asks with saddled brows.

“You want Ellie to see you bringing me home this late? You didn’t even want the neighbors to see you coming over without a toolbox in your hand.” It sounds more harsh than you mean it.

It makes Joel’s chest tighten but he doesn’t comment because it’s true. He did say something to that effect. He regrets it. But he’d be silly to deny the excitement he gets from sneaking around like a teenage boy again.

“Stay here?” You look over your shoulder at Joel.

“You sure you’re okay to go in by yourself?”

“Just for a second. I’ll be okay.” Your voice keeps its soft, hushed tone.

Joel nods and watches you exit the truck, walk to the front door and disappear.

You sigh the second you enter your house, a comforting and familiar space feels better than the sidewalk at midnight. You hang your bag on the hook and slowly wall up the stairs to Ellie’s room.

“Ellie?” You call out quietly with a hand on her door knob.

Slowly, you push the cracked door open while the door squeaks and you silently curse yourself. No answer. She’s laying on her belly, game controller in hand, slipping off the bed. Face smushed into the comforter she’d sprawled on top of. You blink a few times and shake your head. She had to have fallen asleep in the middle of a game, the monitor still had a game lobby up with quiet music playing on a loop. You sigh quietly and back out of the room, quietly clicking the door shut.

You turn and make your way down the steps again and open the front door. Joel is still sitting in his truck across the street from your house. You wave for him to come in and wait for him to get up to the doorway. You lock the door behind him and gesture him up the steps while ‘shhhhsh’ing him when he takes a step that creaks too loud.

“She’s asleep,” You whisper once the two of you make it into your room. “and I really need to shower. But feel free to make yourself comfortable here.”

You look around your room with Joel in it. It’s surreal.

“Let me come in with you.” He says softly while taking a few steps closer to you.

You don’t speak for a moment, surprised at his comment.

“Come in with me?” You repeat his words back to him.

He chuckles quietly and nods his head.

“Yeah, come in with you.” He repeats again in a lighthearted tone.

So, you shower together. The water was warm enough to create steam that fogged the mirror as it billowed out from behind the curtain. Joel steps in first and makes sure the water feels right before taking your hand and guiding you under the stream. It feels normal. You don’t stop to think about being fully nude in front of him for the first time because he doesn’t make it feel like you should. He’s soft and gentle, no lingering stares anywhere but your face and his hands massaging shampoo into your hair. Joel cradles your head and tilts it under the water to let it wash away the suds then brings you out of the stream to press a soft kiss to your forehead. He’s doing all of the work for you, sudsing the soap between his hands and the washcloth and softly scrubbing it over your arms to get rid of any sticky syrupy patches. You want to stay like this forever.

With his hand, Joel pushes his hair away from his face, now shades darker from the water and slicked back. Brown eyes blinking the water away under heavy lids. A pang of guilt hits you low in your stomach for the second time. You don’t even know what time it was when you called him. He has to be exhausted but here he is in the shower, washing your strawberry scented soap off of your skin.

“Feelin’ alright?” He says just loud enough over the patter of water.

“I’m alright.” You nod your head slowly.

He turns you around a few times in the water making sure there's no more suds latched onto your skin before reaching around and turning the water off. You wrap your arms around your chest and stand there with water rolling down your legs while Joel reaches for one of the towels hanging up. He helps you out and wraps the warm towel around your shoulders. You pull it tighter around yourself while Joel reaches for a second towel and wraps it around his waist. He reaches out and settles a hand on the door knob.

“Wait-” You blurt out and he turns his head back to you, not moving a muscle.

“Let me check and make sure she’s still asleep.” You whisper.

Joel nods and stands to the side. You slowly turn the knob and push the door open, peeking out to confirm that the coast is clear. You open it and gesture Joel out, his arms filled with the clothing the two of you were previously in.

“I’ll be in there in a minute.”

He nods his head and presses a soft kiss to your lips before you watch him disappear into your bedroom. You take a deep breath and sigh while turning to face the mirror hanging on the wall. There's still some stubborn mascara under your eye. You fasten the towel under your arms and start to spot clean with a cotton pad. Moments later you’ve got a clean face, brushed teeth and you’re about to finish detangling your hair when a soft knock rasps at the door. You pause and turn towards it, cracking it open.

You nearly jump out of your skin when you’re greeting with Ellie’s drowsy face. You’re grateful her eyes are barely open because she can’t question the pure shock on your face when you see her.

“Y’got home so late.” She mumbles while rubbing her eyes.

“I know. I promise I’ll fill you in tomorrow but go back to bed. Your eyes aren’t even open, Ellie.”

“Gotta pee.” She says with eyes still squinted.

“Shit, sorry.” You cringe and slip out of the bathroom.

“Goodnight.” Ellie grumbles.

“Night, Ellie.” You whisper while slipping into your bedroom.

You slowly click the door closed and turn around, pressing your back into the door and sighing heavily.

“Looks like you seen a ghost, darlin’.” His low voice breaks the anxiety building in your stomach.

You force a breathy laugh and lift your head to look at him. God, it takes all of the air out of your lungs. His hair is no longer soaked, it’s damp and starting to curl at the ends like it normally does. His tanned torso is exposed with hair littering his chest with a fine line down his soft stomach while it disappears under the band of his boxers. His sweatpants hung so low on his hips you could see said band before the elastic of his pants just under it. That was it. Joel Miller, damp in your bedroom. You couldn’t ask for anything more.

It reminds you of the night of the storm. When he surprised you at your front door, soaked to the bone. The only difference is, this Joel just helped you through a panicked episode without a shred of knowledge of them, washed you off and showered you clean and this Joel helps you get dressed, too. He helps you pull on a shirt over your head and he makes sure none of your hair is caught in the collar of it. He holds out his arm to balance you while you’re slipping on a pair of your shorts. This Joel lays in bed next to you under your comforters with your back pressed firmly into his chest and his strong arm draped over your waist.

You like this Joel, too.

[pintobug]

band-aids & boots

dbf!joel miller x fem!reader

A/N: hi. first time posting something i’ve written!! woah! i hope someone gets to read it. i can’t stop consuming dbf!joel content so heres my way of coping!! a one shot!!(?)! also i apologize in advance for the layout & any editing mistakes. please have grace for me <3

Summary: Halloweekend. Your dads street hosting its annual block party & everyones dressed up for the costume contest!

Rating: 18+ MDNI !!!!

Word count: 11.8k oops

Tags: dbf!joel, protective!joel, joel dressed as a cowboy, duh, aka just a hat and his regular get up. smut, porn with little plot, pining, age gap (reader ~25 Joel is late 40s early 50s), fem!reader, p in v, fingering (f receiving), established secret relationship, use of pet names, dirty talk, dom!joel, sub!reader, spit kink, he slaps her (she loves it)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The street was alive, smoke rising from the grills planted in almost everyone’s driveway, music spilling out of cracked windows and booming from speakers across the way. Kids darting by in costumes and neighbors laughing too loud over cheap beer and folding tables. You closed your eyes and sucked in a deep breath through your nose. The smell wafting from outside was comforting. The annual Halloween block party.

You smoothed your palms over your torso, ridding of any wrinkles in your costume. You tilted your head while you watched yourself in the full length mirror.

Your body clad in a white dress, the buttons in the front coming to rest just between your breasts. The red, lacy bra top exposed. Your eyes fell down your legs, covered in thin, white stocking material until your mid thigh. Your hands fumbled with the skirt of your dress, reaching up to grab the strap of the white garter belt you had beneath the costume, clipping it to keep your thigh highs in place. You repeated this on the other thigh.

Hair tied into a low, messy ponytail, pulling strands out to frame your face. Small, white costume hat with a fat red cross in the middle sat off center the top of your head. Your eyelids are packed with a pale blue shadow, lined with black and finished with thick mascara. Red lips, and rosy cheeks to match.

Damn.

You thought. You’re pretty fucking close to the real thing. Just missing one thing. You pulled a skin tight blue latex glove over your one hand, letting it snap against your skin.

You smiled contently at yourself, wiggling your toes against the floor in excitement. This wasn’t for you. None of this was for you actually, despite how fucking good it felt to have this on. It was for Joel. It’s been two agonizing weeks since you’ve last seen him.

It’s always- “Sorry, baby. Your dad’s keepin’ me late at work tonight. No slippin’ away.” and not- “F’course I’ll come over and do away with the nagging between your thighs. Right away, baby.”

You could roll your eyes right now just at the thought. But this. This is good enough revenge for now, you figured. ‘Nurse from the Blink-182 Album’ You know. Enema of the State. Joel doesn’t give a shit about Blink-182. But he will give a huge fuck about you in this outfit. Your stomach turns at the thought.

You peer over to the red heels lying outside your closet door and you think about it long and hard. But theres absolutely no fucking way you’re trudging through gravel drive ways in them. You bend down, hooking your fingers into your old pair of white converse.

These’ll do.

You slip them on and turn to the steps, bouncing down them.

———

Joel sucked on the toothpick between his lips, bringing a hand up to tilt the cowboy hat upon his head, bringing it forward slightly. He sighed, leaning against the wall of your front porch. Tommy and your father opposite him, backs to the street. Your father lazily flips burgers around on the grill.

He was trying to act normal- laugh when he should, nod when Tommy or your father told him a story- but it was damn impossible with you prancing around the front yard like that.

Tight, short nurse’s dress. Red lipstick he was dying to smear. Skin tight stockings clinging to your thighs and- fuck. The garter belt clip that keeps them there.

You were laughing, handing out beers to some of the neighbors who sat in lawn chairs. The hair framing your face blowing softly in the cool wind. Joel tightened his jaw, hard enough that he snapped the toothpick between his molars. He spat it to the side with a grunt, beer warming in his tight grip.

Your dad, dressed in a pirate costume- hat, eyepatch, and all- was eating it up. “That’s my girl!” He shouted, holding his beer up, tilted towards you as he laughed. “Ain’t she somethin’? I barely gotta host ‘round here now that she's home.” He raised his eyebrows, bringing his beer to his lips for a long sip.

Joel forced a grin through a strained jaw . “Yeah.” he muttered under his breath, “She’s somethin’ alright.”

Tommy gently jabbed his elbow into his older brothers. “Man, you look like you’re in pain or somethin’. Y’alright?” Tommy turned his head towards Joel.

Joel mirrored him, giving him a once over before chuckling and shaking his head. “M’fine. Can’t take you serious with-“ Joel gestured his beer towards his kid brother. “All’at.”

Tommy furrowed his thick brows, lips falling to fein offense. “You barely got a damn costume on. You ain’t winning shit, Joel. I came to win, mother fucker.” He spoke coolly, taking a step back to let your dad and Joel get a good look at his costume.

Tommy had a pair of khakis on, dark green long sleeved shirt, and a black rubber apron tied over his torso, his face splattered with blood and some more dripping down the apron. Laminated I.D badge slung around his neck: ‘Dexter Morgan.’ Fake knife hanging from his belt.

“I ain’t peg you for a Dexter fan, Tommy.” Your dad quipped while shaking his head at the two brothers.

“Eddie, y’look like you’re fresh off’tha damn Black Pearl.” Joel chuckled, Tommy dropping his smug look to laugh alongside him.

“Ain’t no damn.. Jack Sparrow.” Your dad laughed, taking some burgers off of the grill, placing them on a platter. “Just any fuckin’ pirate. The two a’yous piss me off.” He joked, sucking his teeth.

“Baby! C’mere!” Your dad called, your head snapped at his shout.

You came quickly, bounding over to the three men.

“You lot doin’ alright?” You beamed, eyes lingering on Joel for just a moment longer.

He looked fucking good. When didn’t he, though. His blue jeans snug around his thighs, fell neatly around his booted feet. It looks like he polished them recently. His dark navy flannel, nothing new, you’ve seen it on him thousands of times but it always looks just as good. Buttoned almost to the top, two spaces left undone, few dark, wiry hairs peeking over the snug, white beater he had on underneath. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the muscles in his arm visible as his hand gripping a beer bottle tighter and tighter. You swallowed thickly as your eyes moved slowly to meet his eyes. You’d probably be drooling if it weren’t for your dad and Tommy standing between you and Joel. The air felt thicker than usual. His eyes were dark and stoic, burning into your body. His dark hair was peppered with grey at his hairline, curling at his ears and the nape of his neck more than the rest. And fuck- that damn cowboy hat.

“We’re doin’ just fine, baby.” Your dad nodded, then gestured towards the plate of burgers he had just pulled off the grill, a sorry smile on his face.

“Would y’mind runnin’ these around and offerin’ them up?” He asked, a sing-song tone in his voice, trying to persuade you.

You laughed softly and shook your head. “I gotcha. Wouldn’t want hostin’ to interrupt your boy time.” You poked at him before grabbing the tray.

You gestured the tray towards your dad, then Tommy, letting them take what they’d like.

“Want some?” You questioned Joel, looking up to him through your thick lashes.

His lips turned, almost grimaced at the way his stomach twisted. “Not hungry f’that right now.” He muttered emotionless.

Your face flooded with heat, you’d be surprised if it couldn’t be felt 10 feet away. You’d nod your head and turn quickly before you jumped his bones. You could feel his eyes bore into the back of your head, following you as you’d walk down the porch steps and back to the yard, smiling and offering up the food on the platter.

Tommy took a bite of his burger, settling next to his brother. Your dad stood and started cleaning the grill. Tommy mentioned something about the Rangers, but didn’t get an answer from Joel. He whipped his head over, narrowing his eyes to follow Joel's eye-line once he realized Joel was too preoccupied to pay the slightest attention.

Tommy hummed in amusement when he saw you, holding your tray, bent at the waist and chatting with a neighbor sitting in a lawn chair.

“You’re starin’ awful hard at Eddie’s girl.” Tommy said low, nudging Joel with his elbow. “You got a thing for nurses now, old man?” Tommys got a sick grin on his face despite chewing on his last bite on the burger.

Joel gave him a sharp look. “Drop it, Tommy.” He spat.

Tommy held his hands up in defeat, chuckling lowly. “Alright, alright.”

“Need a beer.” Joel said, jaw tight.

“You offering?” Eddie quipped.

“Nope.” Joel popped the ‘p’ while pushing himself off the wall, heading through the front door of the house.

——

The noise of the block party muffled as you walked through the back door, the tray now empty as you had made your rounds. You stopped in there to wash up quickly and grab more beers. You were halfway into the fridge when a rough hand wrapped tightly around your wrist, yanking you around.

Joel.

He was towering over you, his hat shadowing his dark eyes, the muscle in his jaw ticking. Up close he smelled like beer, smoke, and the lingering warmth of October air. It was dizzying.

“You tryin’a kill me, baby?” he muttered, a deep rumble, only for you to hear.

“What? M’just celebrating.” You fiend innocence as Joel backed you up against the counter top, the cold granite pressing into the middle of your back. His body is just inches from yours.

His eyes lowered to your lips, then to trace the obscene outline of your costume. The curve of your thighs, the way your chest nearly spilled out of the tight, low neckline.

“You’ve got no idea what you’re doin’ t’me, sweetheart..” He breathed out, pushing his hips forward, into yours.

He leaned down, breath hot against your ear. “No fuckin’ clue.”

You did have a clue. You felt it as clear as day pressing into your lower stomach as he kept you pinned at the counter, his fingers flexing against your wrist while his other hand brushed over your side. Your lips parted, a soft sigh falling against his collar when his hand gripped your side, pulling you against him.

“Maybe I do.” You teased, whispering soft against his skin, lips pursed just under his ear, pressing a kiss there.

A low groan rumbled in the back of Joel's throat, hand that was wrapped around your wrist leaving to cup your jaw, his broad palm splayed across the front of your neck. His thumb and middle finger pressing gently into your jaw bone, his index finger tapping the apple of your cheek once. His grip wasn’t harsh but it was strong, your face squished slightly. You’d blink quickly while looking up to him through your heavy lids, your stomach twisting and turning with heat.

“You keep pushin’,” He growled through a tight jaw. “N’ I’m not waitin’ ‘til later to put you in your place.”

You swallowed thickly, he could feel your throat flex under his warm palm.

“You understand me, pretty girl?” He leaned back a bit to get a better view of you, his hand giving your jaw a squeeze, his other hand slipping from your side to your lower back, pulling your hips flush against his.

Your eyes hooded, he barely touched you and you already look so fucked. You couldn’t help but crumble at his touch, he’s too calculated. He knows when to push, when to pull. Where to touch, where to grip, then to soothe it after. It makes your head spin.

On cue, his thumb shifted, rubbing small circles into your back where he guesses the corner of the counter was just jabbing you.

You squirmed beneath his gaze, it only brought a sly smirk to the corners of his full lips. You’d nod the best you can against his hand. He sucked his teeth sharply.

“Words, baby.” He raised his eyebrows waiting for your response, his tongue darting to wet his lips quickly.

The sight made you squeeze your thighs together, searching for any sort of friction to relieve the growing pit in your stomach. Just that short lived glimpse of his tongue was enough to fill your mind with gut churning flashbacks of his head between your thighs, his salt and pepper curls tickling your skin while that tongue lapped at you endlessly. His eyes were dark under heavy lids as he studied your face. His thumb lifted from your jaw and hovered over your lower lip, instinctively you parted them. Your eyes stayed locked on his, though his were now centered at your mouth. Slowly he pressed the pad of his thick thumb into the swell of your lower lip, then dragged it to the side, smearing the bright red lipstick over to the corner of your mouth.

What the fuck.

Your knees wobble. If he wasn’t holding you so closely they’d buckle and you’d fall right to them in front of him, beg him to let you take him in your mouth right there, in your kitchen, with the entire street just a wall away.

Tommy, just a wall away.

Your dad, just a wall away.

“Lemme hear ya’.” His voice snapped you out of your daze. Thick and syrupy against your buzzing ear drums.

“Y-Yeah. I understand.” You finally choke out, embarrassed at how pathetic you must sound.

He smirked, a low chuckle leaving his lips as he stood himself up straight, his hand behind your back steadying your wobbling frame- so used to his weight being held against it already. He sighed softly, hand leaving your jaw to slap his three, thick, middle fingers against your cheek. It wasn’t hard, just a love tap. But enough to leave your skin burning, to match the feeling between your thighs.

“Good.” He smiles. “Get back outside.” He mutters. “‘fore I do somethin’ stupid.”

It pained him to let you go at that moment. But you cleared your throat, nodding your head while bringing your own gloved thumb up to your mouth, pressing the pad against the flat of your tongue. Then swiping it below your bottom lip, cleaning up the lipstick he had smeared just a moment prior.

You turned to leave, smoothing your hands down your costume and taking a few steps when he cleared his throat, his feet still haven’t moved from their spot.

“Don’t forget the beer, baby girl.” He’d remind you, a sly, lopsided smile on his lips.

Fuck, what the fuck. Your brain is mush.

His stupid smile made your stomach contort. You trudged back the few fews, swinging the fridge open and grabbing as many in your arms as you could.

“You’re a real ass.” You grumbled before turning your back to him, cheeks hot while walking back out the back door.

Joel was left standing there, a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding, forcing itself from his lips as you pushed the door shut. His fists clenched at his sides, doing all he can to not follow you like a mad man.

——

It was incredibly hard to host while your brain buzzed with Joel. You tried your best with keeping up with conversation, but you weren’t retaining any of it. A ditsy smile on your lips, nodding and uh-huh’ing when it seemed right. You couldn’t focus on anything else other than him. Hell, most of the time your eyes were scanning the yard to make sure he was still here, still close. You were impatient and needy. You had half the mind to drag him away from Tommy and right up to your room, deal with all the bullshit fallout after. A hand on your shoulder made your body jump.

You heard your name behind you.

“Didn’t mean to scare ya.” The boy snickered, shoving your shoulder a bit.

Your shoulders relaxed when you saw Cody.

“Me? Didn’t scare me.” You laughed softly while opening your arms and pulling him into a hug, then holding him out in front of you to get a good look.

“My, my. New York did you well. You’re even taller n’ me now!” You whistled and laughed.

Cody grew up only a few houses down from yours. You both graduated high school together. You were close while growing up but amicably went separate ways when you both went off to college. Cody went to Columbia. Boy was smart as a whip. Lacked in common sense, but book smart. You’d seen him once the first summer after you both went away at a big BBQ with some of the neighbors.

He was cute, thinner build with a boyish face, could barely grow facial hair. The hair in his head was a dirty blonde and all over the place, curling at the ends. Cute. The both of you ended up getting quite drunk and had a half assed make out session on a tire swing in his backyard, and went your separate ways again to school. He texted you a week after that.

——

‘guess i’m not a good enough kisser to get a text? hahah’

You remember cringing as you saw the notification light up your phone.

‘knew i was drunk, but didn’t think i was that drunk!’

You played it off as a joke. You didn’t like him like that. You were drunk, young and lonely at the time.

——

You still don’t like him like that. But he was always a decent friend to you.

Cody nodded his head. Still had his bouncy blonde hair, but it was restrained under a hat.

“Race car driver, huh?” You smiled and tapped his arm before dropping your arms at your own sides.

“Oh absolutely. Last thing the store had in stock.” He joked while picking at the costume. “You look real good tonight,” Cody said eagerly. “Way too good to be hangin’ ‘round a dad party.”

Your brows furrowed slightly, taking a small step back. You didn’t expect him to be so forward. You laughed politely, wrapping your arms around your torso.

“Well, thanks Cody.” You said quietly, lips in a kind smile.

Joel and Tommy were leaning against your dads truck in the driveway. Tommy going on and on about the homeowner for the new job they just picked up, how bossy and nit-picky she is. Joel isn’t absorbing a lick of this. His dark eyes are shooting daggers into Cody.

“Maybe after things wind down..” Cody continued, his voice low as he leaned into your ear. “We could find a real party?”

You physically cringed. Is this really what guys your age thought was smooth?

No sweet talking? No soft looks and hot whispers?

No Joel.

They weren’t Joel.

Joel was smooth.

He was sweet and slow when he wanted to be. He was collected, stoic but melted in your hands when you were alone. As dominant as he was, you always had the final say. He’d do anything for you. He’d kneel before you and make you finish twice with his mouth before bending you over and fuck you until tears spilled down your cheeks. Then he’d kiss them away, rub your back and whisper-

‘s good baby. pretty girl. ‘s alright darlin’ i’m here. y’took my cock so well, s’like your made for m-’

Cody cleared his throat, pulling you from your thoughts. You still didn’t answer him.

Oops.

Your eyes were wide as you scanned his face, and could barely remember what he asked. It had to be clear as day because he repeated, placing his hand on your shoulder, slowly rubbing it down your arm to grip your elbow.

“Wanna find a real party later?” He repeated.

Joel wanted to take the beer bottle in his hand right now and crack it over this kids thick fucking skull.

“Kids bad news.” Tommy strains through his mouth full of beer, gesturing to Cody.

“What?” Joel snapped, he swore his blood ran cold.

“M’kiddin’. He’s a fuckin’ dork.” Tommy chuckles, his words slurring.

Joel rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the truck, taking a step towards the two of you only to be stopped by a strong arm pushing against his torso. Tommy almost choked on his beer.

“Woah, woah.” He sputtered, pushing Joel back against the truck.

“What’re you fixin’ to do, big brother?” He questions, squinting his eyes as he tries to read Joel's face.

His eyes were locked onto you and Cody, body stiff as his back was on the truck again, Tommy’s arm lowering after a beat. He didn’t answer. Watching your tight, polite, forced smile. Cody leaning in closer, talking too damn much. Touching your fuckin’ arm.

Eddie peered over to Joel and Tommy, then you and Cody before letting out a laugh. He sauntered over, enough beers in him that he really did look like Jack Sparrow, walking the way he was. He slapped Joel on the back.

“She can handle him.” He reassures Tommy and Joel. “Cody’s harmless. He’s been makin’ eyes at her since they were fifteen. Little punk just ain’t smart enough to know she’s outta his league.” Your dad laughs at his own comment.

Joel silently agrees. ‘Way out.’ He thinks to himself, bringing a hand of his to pinch the bridge of his nose, pulling himself together.

“Fucker went to Columbia, still ain’t smart enough.” Eddie continues with a laugh.

That comment pulls a laugh from Tommy, but not from Joel.

Joel grunted, muscle in his jaw ticking. Tommy and Eddie were too busy laughing back and forth over it, he used the opportunity to saunter towards you.

You shook your head softly. “Thanks, Cody. But I’ll be good here. Dad party or not.” You confirm with a solid nod, taking a slow step back.

Cody flushed and muttered something under his breath, then turned to walk away. You rolled your eyes and pushed air through your lips, blowing raspberries as he did.

Joel stopped in his tracks as Cody turned away, weight lifting from his shoulders when they rolled back. He sipped his beer, but kept a watchful eye. Pretending like he didn’t want to snap that kid in half.

You turned to pick up some empty cans, catching sight of Joel and his rigid frame, shooting him a quick look as if to say.

‘Relax.’

His shoulders slouched as he sighed. But he was hanging on by a thread.

———

Your dad stood at the porch, drunkenly declaring the start of the costume contest, giving directions to those who wanted to participate. Slowly groups gathered across the street, leaving a few stragglers behind. You’re using the opportunity to clean up some. Collecting empty bottles, cans, plates and candy wrappers.

You caught his eye again from across the yard. You froze where you were standing, the both of you just taking a moment to stare. His eyes flickered behind the house, then back to yours. You blinked, doing the same. When your eyes met him again he tilted his head the same direction, quickly. He pushed himself out of his chair and went through the front door of the house. You gave it a moment before following, anxious bubbles blooming in your sternum. All you two knew was sneaking around. That same giddy feeling pushes goosebumps over your skin every, damn, time.

You made it into the house, looking around for him before noticing the back door was propped open.

You whine in confusion. “Joel, what the fuck.” You whispered to yourself, exiting the back door and shutting it behind you.

Still no sign of him.

You did hear heavy boots crunching on stale leaves. Your heart thumped against your chest, you swallowed thickly, making your way towards the back of the yard, by the shed.

Nothing. You push air through your nose, frustration growing.

What the fuck is he doing? Calling you to the back and disappearing? Is this fun to him?

You start to get annoyed, an anxious feeling in the bottom of your stomach.

A large, calloused hand grips your wrist for the second time today, pulling you behind the shed, pressing you roughly against the siding. The air pushed from your lungs in a gasp.

“What the f-“ You started angrily.

“You tryin’ to make me lose my goddamn mind tonight, darlin’?” He hissed against your ear, his breath pickling heat against your skin.

You dropped your annoyed frustration. Quickly it turned into a hot, needy kind of frustration between your thighs. A sick smile twisted at the ends of your lips, arching your back against the shed, pushing your chest into his broad, firm chest.

“What if I was?” You gleamed, breathless.

His expression stiffened, eyes cold and dark. He released your arm, that hand wrapping loosely around your jaw, the opposite finding your hip. He splayed his thick fingers along the curve of your ass, slipping his hand lower to cup your thigh, urging your leg to lift and hook at his hip. You whined at the cool air now having direct contact to your damp clothed core. His lips crashed to your hungrily, kissing you hard. His hand squeezed your thigh as he sunk his teeth into your lower lip. The sound leaving your throat was filthy, pleading for him.

“You keep wearin’ shit like this,” He muttered, dragging his lips across the skin of your jaw, sucking soft kisses there. “Someone’s gonna end up dead. And it ain’t gonna be me, baby.”

You moaned softly, his words hitting your core directly, heat building there. You giggled through needy breaths, snaking a hand between the two of you, tugging his cowboy hat lower to cover his eyes.

“You gonna punish me, cowboy?” You emphasized your southern drawl, and the growl that rumbled in his chest was all the assurance you needed to know his answer.

“Damn right I am.”

Your hand rested at his shoulder, pulling him down for another desperate kiss. His hand left your throat to mirror his other, cupping your opposite thigh and coaxing it to do the same. You whined into his lips and he swallowed every one of them. As you lifted your thigh, he bounced you to get a better grip, his strong, warm hands spread along the underside of your thighs, his hips pushed forward to keep you pinned at the wall. The cool metal of his bulky belt buckle pressed into your damp panties made you rut your hips pathetically against it.

One of his fingers finds its way under the strap of your garter belt. He pulled it away from your skin with a hooked finger, far enough to create tension. He let it slip. The strap snapped harshly against the sensitive, fleshy skin. You whined, body stiffened at the sharp burn, melting as it slowly turned sweet.

“Joel- please..” You pleaded against his lips.

“Yeah? Want me to take you right here-“

You heard your name.

Tommy’s voice.

Way too close.

You heard it again, shoes crunching the leaves beneath them.

Panicking, you look at Joel.

He’s losing his shit too.

Fuck.

“Shh. I got you.” He whispered, letting you down softly, but quickly onto the ground. You’re grateful with how quickly he’s collecting himself because you’re sure you still look like a deer in headlights.

Footsteps crunching closer.

Joel ushered you behind the recycling bin, mouthing to you ‘crouch down. be quiet’

You nodded. Your heart was beating out of your chest while you pulled your knees so close to your chest you could barely take a full breath.

Joel turned his back to you, rolling his shoulders back while clearing his throat.

“Joel?” Tommy's voice sounded so clear, he had to be right there.

“Takin’ a leak.” He said cooly. Like he didn’t just have you off the ground, whimpering into his lips.

You swallowed thickly, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to convince yourself this is just a sick fucking joke.

“You seen Eddie’s girl? He’s lookin’ for her.” Tommy slurred.

You heard Joel rustle with his belt buckle. ‘really selling the ‘takin’ a leak’ You thought to yourself.

“Ain’t seen her. Did you check the house?”

Tommy didn’t answer, he lingered for a second.

You felt your stomach sitting in your throat, threatening to spill your guts and give away your cover.

Tommy sucked his teeth, mumbling something under his breath before turning away. Leaves crunching under his shoes again.

You still felt like you were gonna puke, all this built up tension. You needed another second to remind yourself to breathe.

Joel peered around the bin to you, his face flushed, looking like he just ran a mile.

“Y’almost got us caught.”

“You almost got yourself caught, cowboy. Hands up my skirt n’ all.” You grumbled, frowning at him.

His lip curled, muttering something under his breath. He placed a hand on his belt, peering down at you.

“What was that?” You teased, a small smile teasing your lips.

“Said you’re a damn brat.” The words rolled off his tongue effortlessly, and landed deep, heavy in your core.

All the worry and anxiety melting from your body in that moment, that warm pit in your belly taking its place. He reached for your hand, that you graciously took, and pulled you to your feet. His hands, the ones that were just gripping your thighs in a filthy way. The ones that grip and pin your hips, the pads of those fingers that leave bruises there sometimes.

Those hands- His.

His hands.

They were gentle for now, brushing the dirt and leaves from your costume and helping you settle again. His last words rattled around in your brain.

“Go on, get ‘fore you get us both strung up.” His voice was soft, his hand giving you pat on your hip, guiding you out to the front as he lingered behind the shed a moment longer.

——

You were exhausted. Tired from picking up after everyone. You’re making runs for drinks, ice, trash bags, more drinks, quick pit stop behind the shed with Joel, judging the costume contest, things now finally starting to wrap up.

“Tommy, you’re really no help.” You’d mutter, tossing an empty can in his direction. He sat, eyes closed in a lawn chair. He gave no response.

“Only thing I asked-“ You’d grunt, trying to push the grill over to reach some trash behind it. “Was for you to- fuck-“ You panted, grunting against while pushing the grill. “Hold the fuckin’ bag open. Ya drunk, can’t even do that.” You blew air through puffed cheeks, shoulders slouched over as you turned back to him.

He was stirring in the chair, eyes not closed, but heavy enough to look it. “Not a drunk.. You screwed me on that contest. Should’ve been first place.” He slurred. You laughed at him, tossing an empty red cup that was behind the grill at him next, barely making it in the bag.

“You holding grudges now?” You joked, clapping your hands together to brush them off. “C’mon. Don’t be a baby.” You teased.

“He still sour o’er that?” Your dad’s voice comes from the yard.

“He hasn’t shut up ‘bout it since.” Joel chimed in, packing the speaker away.

You smile and shake your head at Tommy’s mumblings and groans.

“I got the rest of this.” Your dad says, walking over and putting a hand on your shoulder. “I got him too.” He gestures to Tommy, who looks like he might actually be asleep now.

“Are you sure?” You raise your eyebrows, tilting your head up to him.

“Mhm.” He hums, looking at the yard then back to you. “Long as you don’t mind helpin’ Joel take some of these chairs back to his house, huh kid?” Joel cleared his throat from a few feet away, eyes locked onto you.

Your stomach sits heavy.

It’s sick, really.

Your dad asking you to help Joel, to be alone, in his house, for who knows how long it takes to put away some damn chairs. While he’s sat taking care of his kid brother.

It’s sick.

It shouldn’t light a fire in your stomach. But it does.

“Y-Yeah. I can help.” You finally choke out.

Your dad smiles and gives you another pat on the back, mumbling a ‘Thanks, kid.’ before turning towards Tommy, slumped in one of the chairs you’d need.

“Get’cher ass up, boy.” Your dad laughed while tugging on his arm and helping him up, taking Tommy's body weight on his own and helping him into the house. The click of the door seems to echo through the quieting houses on the street., you and Joel sharing side glances as you’re left alone.

——

You struggled to keep up with the pace Joel set as he walked towards his house, just four houses down from your dad’s, arms filled with lawn chairs. The lawn chairs now thrown onto the porch, not taking the extra second it’d take to put them away.

He unlocked the front door in one smooth motion and pulled you in the next. He kicked the door shut, hard, with his boot.

His hands are on your hips, whipping you around until your back is pressed against the door, his hips keeping you pinned there. The quick movements pulled the air from your lungs, leaving you to gasp.

“Been teasin’ me all goddamn night.” He hissed, voice thick with frustration.

He leaned back to give his hands some space to roam over the fabric of your nurse costume, his palms warm and broad as they’d skate over the buttons.

His hands stopped at your ribs, his fingertips pressing into the bottom of your breasts.

“Flirtin’ and smilin’ at every boy who looked your way.” He spat while taking both of your wrists into one of his hands and pinning them about your head, knocking his cowboy hat off his head, somewhere behind him.

You gasped, bottom lip quivering. You needed him badly. Pent up after hours of waiting for this- for him. You force a grin, not wanting him to know how easily you’ll fold. You know he loves it, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t too.

“What’re you gonna do about it, cowboy?” You don’t even recognize the sound of your own voice with all the buzzing in your head.

He does though, and he growls in response, pushing his hips firm against yours. His thick cock straining, hard against the denim material, right up against your lower stomach for the second time today. He grits his teeth, his free hand coming to grip the collar or your dress, the warmth of his hand over the exposed skin of your breast makes you whimper.

You arch your back, pushing your chest towards him, silently begging for more contact, just more. He doesn’t give it to you just yet, hand around your wrists tightening, the one on your cheap costume ripping it open, the white buttons bouncing off of the wooden floor.

Your eyes widened as you processed, squirming under his dark stare. Under the shreds of the white dress, your body clad in the white and red, laced get up you so thoughtfully slipped on earlier.

For him.

He knows that, too.

“Gonna remind you who you belong to, pretty girl.” He says lowly, his southern drawl painfully prominent.

Before you get the chance to respond, Joel spins you around, taking your hands that were above your head and pinning them behind your back, still his single hand keeping both of yours pinned there. Your chest pressed against the cool door, the difference of your burning skin against it made you whine. Your back arched, his straining cock now pressed to your ass. Silently you tried to push your hips back onto him.

His free hand came down quickly on your ass, the stinging turning sweet as he rubbed his warm palm over the spot, soothing it.

“Joel!” You squeaked, resting your cheek against the door, face smushing just slightly, stomach turning and pulling.

“Gonna be a good girl now, hm?” He leaned over your back, his lips just dusting the shell of your ear while rocking his hips slowly into yours.

“Y-Yes, Jo-“ He cut you off with another rough smack to the same spot. A yelp bursting through your lips, body slinking back into his.

“Too late for sweet talk, baby girl.” He rasped, his hand not soothing the sting this time, letting it sit and burn your skin.

He pulled back for a moment, the weight of his body being pulled from you made you whine, missing the heavy contact. His hands made work of what was left of costume, discarding it somewhere with his now long forgotten cowboy hat.

It hit you like a ton of bricks. The fact that you’re bent over, pressed against his front door in nothing but a red laced bra, panties, the garter belt and the thigh highs they held up. Joel was still fully clothed, just his hat missing. The thought of being so exposed and vulnerable to him just made the slick between your thighs amplify.

“Fuck.” Joel growled, pushing a sharp breath through gritted teeth. His dark eyes scanned your body, the way the lace dug into the fleshy parts of your skin, thighs spilling slightly out of the tops of the stockings. The large, pink outline of his handprint adorning your ass cheek.

“Look so pretty for me like this, baby.” He muttered.

He let your hands go and you quickly pushed your palms into the door, steadying yourself.

Before you got the chance to beg for his touch, he gave it to you- just not where you needed him. Broad, calloused palms skating up your sides, then back down to rest at your hips. You closed your eyes, scrunching your nose in frustration. A quiet whine fell from your lips as you pushed against the door, grinding your hips against his throbbing cock.

“S’alright, angel. I got you.” He offered reassurance.

“Please- just. Need you. Badly.” You pleaded through soft breaths.

“Tell me where, pretty girl.” He rasped, placing a hand between your shoulder blades, keeping you pinned to the door again.

His other hand reached around your torso, palming your breast for a moment, his fingers hooked around the cup of your bra and tugged down, letting your boob spill out. You whined as his fingers found your hardened nipple, his thumb and pointer finger giving it a lazy roll.

A broken whine left your lips, body squirming for any additional friction he’d offer.

“This where you need me?” He asked lowly.

You could just about hear the smirk on his stupid, beautiful, fucking face.

You shook your head.

“Gotta use your words, darlin’.” He reminds you.

“N-No. Not there.” You huffed into the door, his hand still working painfully slow at your nipple.

“So good f’me.” He praises.

In a beat it was gone, his hand trailing down your spine, stopping for a moment to admire his darkening handprint on your ass. The sight made his eyes roll back and his thick cock twitch.

“What ‘bout here?” He asked, his hand trailing further to cup your cunt.

Your knees buckled at the contact, after being teased and left all day, the final contact of his warm palm grinding against your sensitive slick was euphoric. A long string of ‘yesyesyespleaseyesthatsit’ left your lips quickly.

“Atta girl.” He muttered, almost to himself.

Your body writhed under his touch, even when there wasn’t much of it. The anticipation of it was enough.

His index finger dragged slowly up your slick panties, nudging against your covered entrance, a soft, sick, wet noise filling your ears as his finger rubbed slow, torturous circles there.

“S’all for me, angel?” He sucks his teeth sympathetically. “Poor baby, walking ‘round all day like this, huh?” He hums.

You’re embarrassed because it’s true. Even more embarrassed because of him calling you out on it, makes it worse. Heat licks at your core, right where his fingers prodding on the other side of the lace.

“For you- yes. All for you.” You pushed out quickly, your soft moans gracing his ears shortly after.

He tucked two fingers under your panties, slowly tugging them to the side, a growl rumbling deep in his chest at the sight. A thin line of your slick stretching from you to the lace, your cunt and inner thighs glistening from your arousal.

“So pretty.” He said simply, tugging your panties once to keep them out of the way, letting the web fabric snap against your skin.

You grit your teeth, the cool air hitting your wet core, walls clenching around nothing. You could almost sob at how desperately you needed him, chest heaving, heart sitting in the base of your throat, stomach wound in a tight coil.

He leaned over your back, his fingers dipping through your folds, collecting your slick and stopping at your clit.

You cried out against the door, pressing your thighs together, clamping down on his hand.

“You knew damn well what you were doin’ tonight.” He whispered against your ear, his syrupy voice soft against you.

“Paradin’ around in this little thing. Letting that fuckin’-“ His fingers worked in smaller, more concentrated circles at your clit despite your thighs clamping down. “-punk lean in real close. Like he had a chance.”

His voice was hot on your already burning skin, his words doing filthy things to the coil in your belly.

“I-I didn’t-“ You rebuttal.

“Quiet.” He spat, his tone making your breath hitch.

You became painfully aware of how large he was, how big he felt while brooding over you, fingers working at your clit, his wide chest pressed against your back, lips ghosting your ear.The sheer size of his frame against yours made your muscles spasm, a fresh gush of arousal dripping from you and into his palm.

“That's what got you this wet, hm?”

You shook your head.

“What was it then, baby?” He asked, fingers slowly to dip back into your folds, his middle finger circling your entrance before slowly pushing in, your slick allowing him to sink it deep, smoothly.

“Fuck!” You panted, walls spasming around his thick digit.

“Was it when Tommy could’ve caught us? He walked around any later, would’ve seen me fucking you right into that wall. That make your pretty pussy this wet?” His southern drawl rang against your ears, his finger pumping slowly in and out of you, his knuckles shiny with your slick.

“J-Joel, please-“ You begged breathlessly.

You were gratefully cut off by him adding his ring finger. Both of his fingers work at your core, stretching you as he bottoms out to his knuckles. You balled your fist and banged it against the door, trying to release the pent up energy buzzing around in your body.

“Or was it when I had you in the kitchen?”

Fuck.

“Your daddy just on the other side of the wall, while I had that pretty lil’ face’a yours in my hand, smearin’ that fuckin’ lipstick.” He grunted, curling his fingers deep inside you.

Every huff that left your lips ended in a moan, a whine or a plea for him. His beautiful, filthy mouth pushes you closer to your release.

He fucking knows it, too.

He is painfully aware of the effect his sultry words have on you. He weaponizes them every. fucking. time. It’s why he makes sure to let you know how beautiful you look while dripping and shaking for him, how tight, wet, hot, you feel against him, around him, for him.

Only him.

His heart skips a beat, dark eyes locked onto every subtle movement, clocking the way your body reacts. He knows those moans, increasing in volume, being drawn out towards the end. Breathless and fumbling over your own lips.

“That was it.” He states matter of factly.

“Wasn’t it baby?” His fingers twisting, curling and pumping into your wet cunt.

Your arousal pooling in his palm, dripping down his wrist and soaking into the sleeve of his flannel that's pushed up his forearm somewhere.

You swallowed thickly, almost wincing, the amount of pleasure wound in your gut painful.

“Joel I-“

“I know, baby.” He soothes you with his words, fingers giving you no mercy.

“Give it to me, baby girl. Let me feel you squeeze my fingers, yeah?”

Your eyes screw shut, rutting your hips against his fingers. His soaked knuckles brushing against your swollen clit. That swift contact was all you needed to unravel.

“J-Joel, ohfuck-“ You whined out, your fists so tight your nails pressed half moons into the fleshy part of your palm.

The coil deep in your belly snapped.

“I know. Look so pretty cummin’ around my fingers, angel face. S’good for me baby.”

Your knees buckled and he quickly wrapped his free arm around your torso, your skin white hot, supporting your entire weight like it was nothing, keeping you upright. His fingers didn’t change pace, your slick gushing around his digits. The squelching and your moans almost syncing up, all he could think about was how fucking good you felt writhing in his arms.

“I got you, pretty girl. S’okay. Doin’ so good for me.” He praised.

His thick fingers fucked you through your orgasm, your hands squabbling at the door as it became too much. He didn’t let up right away.

“Fuck-“ You’d pant. “Joel, s’too… too much.”

He smiles sweetly behind you, slowing his fingers and finally unsheathing them, a thick string of your cum webbing your cunt to his fingers.

“I know-“ He’d drawl again. “You’re alright. I got you.” He reminded you.

You whined at the loss of his digits, walls clamping around nothing now. Empty. Joel's hand cupped your pulsing heat, rubbing his hand sickeningly slowly. Your body twitched, thighs clamping shut around his hand, broken whines leaving your raw throat.

“Alright, pretty girl. Settle down.”

He removes his hand from your heat completely, smearing your slick on the inside of your thigh before grabbing your waist and slowly turning you to face him.

“There's my girl.” He spoke softly, one hand pressed to the small of your back, holding you to him while the other creeped up your body.

Your eyes were hooded, face flushed, body unsteady and shaking from the orgasm he just ripped from you. His hand cupped your cheek, cool and still slick from you. You turned your face into his palm, parting your plump lips and taking the two fingers that were just fucking you into your mouth.

His groans, eyes dark and wide while he watched your lips close around the base of his knuckles. You could taste your bittersweet cum still clinging there. His fingers prodding the hot flesh at the inside of your cheeks.

“Did so good for me, darlin’.” He reminds you.

You met his eyes, leering up to him through your thick lashes, lids still heavy. You look fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. It makes him throb to know he’s the one who made you look like this.

Mascara and eyeshadow smudged around your eye, a small trail of what looks to be a single tear spilling over one of your cheeks which are now hollowing around his fingers. He studied every small detail, eyes lingering on your mouth, lipstick barely on but just enough to leave a small stain at the base of his knuckles as he slipped his fingers out of your throat. The suction lifting with a small ‘pop’ as his hand returned to cup your cheek, pulling you in for a long, desperate kiss.

“Not done with you yet, baby.” He mumbles into your mouth.

Your lips part to sigh into his. He quickly took the opportunity to roll his tongue into yours. His kissing turned from sweet, long and slow to hungry and needy in no time. Low growls from his throat spilling against your mouth.

“Think you can give me another one?” He pulled back, looking down at you.

His face was red, a slight sheen of sweat sticky around his hairline. His dark curls plastered there, grey hairs adorning them. His hair was messy, tousled and fucking beautiful. That's how he looked. Beautiful, hungry and so fucking filthy at the same time. But god your body was fucking reeling from the first one still. He must’ve sensed your hesitation by the way your eyes widened.

“Know you can, you did so good just then angel face.” His words work overtime in your brain.

“Need to see you cum ‘round my cock. Yeah? S’that sound okay?” He hums, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear and tilting your chin up, more and more pieces must have come loose during the past 20 minutes.

“Joel I don’t.. I-I don’t know if I can.” You whimper, hating how pathetic you sound. But he drinks up every bit of it.

He started shaking his head before you even finished.

“I’ve gotcha baby, don’t forget that.” He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before bending at his knees, wrapping his strong arms around you and lifting you up like nothing.

“Joel!” You yelped in surprise, wrapping your arms around his neck, giggling into his chest.

You feel him smile against your skin. He’d kick his bedroom door open, sauntering in until his knees came in contact with his bed frame. He crouched over, letting you fall onto your back, mattress bouncing. You sprawled your arms out, his dark grey comforter, your hands balling some of the fabric into your fists. You felt vulnerable in front of him like this. This is far from the first time he has seen you in such scad clothing, but the way he loomed over your body made you feel shy. His large hands pull his flannel from his belt line, unbuttoning and slipping it off. His broad, tanned shoulders are on display. The white beater clung to his sweaty skin, belt buckle hanging at his hips. Just the sight of him made you swoon.

“Keep lookin’ at me like that.” He mutters.

You just can’t take your eyes off his body. The way his muscles flex under his skin while his hands work at unfastening his belt, the large buckle clinking against itself.

“You look so good.” You hum to him, spreading your legs further apart as he stands between them. The insides of your thighs are warming from the friction of his jeans rubbing against them.

He chuckles, pulling his belt from its loops in one quick motion. Your stomach tightens. Your hands are moving before you can notice, fingers splayed outwards, reaching for his torso. He drops the belt on the floor with a clatter. He lets you reach, even leaning down and pressing his hands into the mattress on either side of your head. You tilted your head up to pull him into a kiss that's soft at first until he sinks his teeth into your lower lip. You hissed as he pulled it back, letting it snap back to its place. The noise only made him smirk. Your hands made quick work of the button and zipper of his blue jeans. Frantically pushing them down his hips. He helps you by kicking them off with his boots.

“Joel-” He cuts you off with a kiss before pulling back and looking down at you.

“Please.” You were over his slow and calculated moves. You needed him to take you here and now.

He doesn’t answer, even when you pull his beater off and run your fingers down his torso, tugging at the band of his boxers.

“Tell me you’re mine.” He finally speaks up, voice slow and steady.

You furrowed your eyebrows. Of course you’re his. You sighed softly while nodding.

“I’m yours, Joel.”

“Repeat it.” He demands.

“I’m yours.” You obey.

“Those college boys couldn’t make you feel the way I do.” He’s not asking. It was true.

He pushes your bodies up the bed, now kneeling into the mattress, his thighs pressed into the bottoms of yours, his lips connecting with your collar.

“They couldn’t make you cum with their fingers like I can.” Another true statement.

Your legs wrapped loosely around his waist, digging your heels into the backs of his legs, coaxing his hips to make contact with yours, the throb of your cunt doing everything but dulling.

“No, only you.” You reassure him, slipping your hands to the back of his head, curling the hair at the nape of his neck around your index fingers.

“Only me.” He repeats, growling.

“You sure you know that? Was lettin’ that Cody kid hang ‘round for some time.” He continued, his lip curling at the thought.

He was jealous. Even while he was fucking his fingers into you minutes ago, he couldn’t help that quick memory of Cody holding your arm, leaning in close. The way you let him.

You knew Joel was jealous, but this made your heart skip a beat.

“You think he’d like to see you like this, hm?”

Your breath caught in your throat, shaking your head ‘no’.

“You want him to?”

“No.” You breathed out.

“Want him to hear you?” He whispered, peppering kisses across your chest, licking a fat stripe from there to the spot below your jaw, then blowing cool air over the damp skin.

You shiver and he speaks up again before you can answer.

“Want him to hear you cummin’ on my cock? Hear how wet your pussy is while I fuck you?”

You shake your head again, rocking your hips in the direction of his.

His words stirred around your brain. God, how long was he thinking about you and Cody? The five minute interaction burned permanently into Joel’s brain. He couldn’t stand looking at a boy touching you like that. That's not how you like to be touched, Joel knows how you like to be touched. Only Joel.

“That boy wouldn’t know the first thing to do with you.” He sucks a small hickey into the side of your neck.

“With this.” he mumbles against your skin, pushing his teeth into the flesh. One of his large hands cupping your sex again.

You whined at the contect, almost sure he could feel you throbbing in his palm.

“Only you, Joel.” You moaned softly.

“Damn right, darlin’.”

He couldn't contain himself anymore.

Yours. Yours. Yours.

He heard you say it a million times.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

Was the only thing ringing through his ears.

He stood up quickly, pulling your panties and garter belt off, fast. Fast enough for them to burn down your legs. As good as it looked on you, he needed it off. He needed to feel your skin against his, not the scratchy lace fabric. He pulls your bra over your head, not caring how awkward it was. He needed it off. He needed you. He groaned at the sight of you beneath him, body squirming in anticipation on the bed. His cock throbbed in his boxers, pre cum staining the fabric with a wet spot.

“Please,please,please” You murmur, reaching your hands out again to push his boxers down his hips. He lets you, kicking them off the rest of the way.

He sucks a sharp breath through his teeth as his cock springs free, bobbing against his stomach. You’ve seen him plenty of times but it never mattered. His cock thick, tip red and glistening with his pre. You rolled your hips up, feeling your slick drip from your folds, flooding the comforter beneath you.

“Please what, baby?” He teases and you cuss under your breath.

As much as he loves talking you through it, he loves eliciting your voice too. No matter how broken or pathetic it may sound. Your pleading and promises ‘to be good’ drive him fucking insane.

He wraps his strong hand around the base of his cock. Dark, wiry hairs brushing his knuckles as he pumps himself. A hearty groan falling past his lips.

“Joel. I need- Please,” You breathe out.

“Fuck me, please.” You push out your words before whining.

He doesn’t say anything but position himself as close as possible to you, his thighs under yours again.

“Fuck.” He drawls, slipping the tip of his cock through your soaked cunt.

You’re white knuckling his bed spread, rocking your hips into him. He purses his lips before parting them, letting the tip of his tongue fall past them. A hot, thick drip of his saliva spilling off his tongue and onto your pussy.

The sight was fucking dirty. But him tapping the head of his cock along the spit, dragging it against your clit was downright filthy.

Quickly your hands left the sheet, squabbling at his strong shoulders before gripping them, pressing your nails into his hot skin.

“Y’look so pretty. Soaking my bed like this, baby.” He gruffs.

His words could eat you alive right now.

“Joel-” You warn him, your walls clenching around nothing, needy and weeping.

He guides the tip of his cock to your entrance, prodding there before stuffing the tip past your tight cunt. The muscles in your stomach tightens, rapid breaths breaking up your moans.

“Feel good, baby?” He swallows, trying to keep his composure.

Slowly he sinks his hips into yours, his thick cock stretching you. You wince as he bottoms out, the sharp burn making your vision blurry. Full. You felt so full of him. This is the feeling you’ve been missing for these long two weeks. No matter how hard you tried, your own fingers in your bed did no justice. You’re not sure anything would amount to the pleasure of being stuffed to the brim with his cock. His heavy, sweat sheened body hovering over yours.

You nod your head. “Y-Yes.” You babble while nodding your head sloppily.

You were grateful for the moment he gave you to adjust, the burn turning sickly sweet. Your hips rolled, now begging for friction.

“S’good, pretty girl. Y’fit my cock so good. Like you were made f’me.” He breathes while slowly drawing his hips back, and pushing them back into the hilt.

He established a paced thrust, his tongue wetting his lips in concentration, his eyes focused on how slick his cock is with you when he draws out.

You felt the air knocking out of your lungs with every thrust, whining steady pouring from the back of your throat. Your eyes rolled shut, nails pressing harshly into his shoulders. His hips didn’t slack as he pushed your hands off him, his hands pulling your legs to rest on them now, ankles on opposite sides of his shoulders. The new angle pushing him deeper in your cunt, the room filling with his grunts and the sick squelch of your arousal.

“Open your eyes. Look at me.” He grits, picking up his thrusts, the new position making his cock strain against your tight walls.

You were too drunk on his cock to listen. Your eyes still screwed shut, mouth falling open, fucking filthy sounds falling. Until you felt a sting on your cheek, your eyes opened wide, greeted with his face. His hand made contact with your cheek again, but didn’t leave it. His burning skin is boring into your reddening cheek. He grips your jaw roughly.

“Said-” He groans, hips slapping against the back of your thighs. “Fuckin’ look at me.” His dark eyes locked onto yours.

You swallowed tightly, the coil in your lower stomach binding quickly.

“Open.” He says, pressing his thumb into your lower jaw.

You whine as his thrusts cease. He’s leaning over your frame, legs still propped on your shoulders as he's practically folding you in half. You whine and open your mouth, tongue sitting on your lower lip, welcoming the string of his saliva he drips over you. It's hot on your tongue. It tastes like whiskey and him. You let your tongue display it for him, closing your lips around it when he taps your tender cheek roughly with the hand that's there, signaling you to do so. Then you swallow.

He grits at the sight, resuming his thrusts like he hadn't stopped. He's even setting a new debilitating pace, one that makes the muscles in the undersides of your thighs burn.

“Fuck, y’so good for me, baby.” His praises make your walls squeeze his cock.

The familiar pit in your stomach rumbles. You won't last long the way his hot breath tickles the inside of your ankles. The ruthless pace he set with his thrusts. The thought of his spit lingering on your tongue while he fucks you senseless.

“I-I’m close, Joel.. Fuck- Harder.” You tell him, moaning loudly.

“Yeah? Want to cum on my cock, pretty girl? Fuck-.” The hand on your cheek leaves to brush some of your hair from your face. A loving gesture while he's manhandling you otherwise. His hand settles on the top of your shoulder, giving him leverage to fuck you deeper, harder.

His free hand glides down your shin and onto your thigh, his fingers pressing harshly into your flesh. The pain dragging a breathless moan of his name from you. He could listen to that all fucking day.

You try to answer him, the words coming out as a blubbering mess. You aren’t able to think straight while hes fucking you, drunk on him.

“Squeezing my cock so good, angel face. Such a good girl.” He presses a wet, sloppy kiss to your inner ankle, the hand at your thigh wrapping around in, his broad palm splaying across your lower stomach.

Fuck.

His jaw falls slack, his own stomach churning at the feeling. The feeling of his cock pounding into you under his palm.

“Need y’to cum for me baby. Give it to me, c’mon.” He encourages you, his hand slipping lower, thumb making contact with your clit.

You can barely make out his figure, sight going white when you feel his thumb. He barely moves it, just adding pressure right above the sensitive bud. THe ruthless movement of his hips jolt your body with every thrust. He's holding out for you, he doesn’t want to finish until you’ve given him another, and he tells you just that.

“Need one more baby, know you can do it. Cum on my cock. Let me feel you.” He doesn’t know how much longer he can hold on.

You dont last any longer. He rips a second orgasm from you. Your body white hot and shaking as he fucks you through it. His name leaves your lips repeatedly, not knowing anything else in this moment other than him.

Joel. Joel. Joel.

“Fuck, yeah.” He pants. “That's a good girl. Easy. Cumming for me so- shit.” His hips sputter as he nears his own high, his thumb now working small circles on your clit, riding you through your high. “S’good. S’fucking tight- ah, fuck.”

Your body burns, muscles sore as he relentlessly fucks into you, breathing rapidly while his thumb works quick to overstimulate you. Tears welling in your eyes, threatening to spill.

“Cum in me-” The first coherent words you blurt out other than his name in a while. “F-Fill me- fuck, Joel. Please.” You pant, head turned into his wrist, teeth grazing his skin.

That was all he needed. “God- fuckin’.”

Both of his hands grabbed your hips hard, keeping you still as he fucks his hips into you, cock throbbing and twitching as he cums, thick ropes filling your cunt.

Full.

He collapsed against you, his forehead falling to yours, folding you in half again, his hips staying buried deep in you. Your legs are shaking around him.

You both stayed like that for a few beats, breaths slowing, chests no longer heaving. After another moment, Joel lifted his head, pressing soft kisses to your forehead and down your cheeks. Your body felt limp, quivering under him.

“Hey, hey.” Joel whispered after he's taken a look at you, brows knitting in concern.

“Look at me, baby.” He takes your face in both his hands, slowly slipping himself from your throbbing cunt.

Your face scrunches, still so sensitive from your last orgasm, and the feeling of being empty again makes a tear spill over your cheek.

“Talk to me, hun.” He pleads, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on your face, swiping your tears away.

You felt distant, your mind clouded. It was painful to not have him stuffed to the hilt, prodding spots so deep you’d have never known they were there. The warmth between your thighs making you whine, his spend leaking from your cunt.

“Baby, I need you to tell me you hear me.” He coo’s, hands cradling your head while he continues to pepper kisses against your skin. “Was I too much?” He blinks lovingly at you.

You sigh deeply, his continued touches to your face grounding you, your vision slowly coming back to you.

He's sweaty. His hairs stuck to his forehead. His eyebrows sewn together as he tries to read your face. He looks spent. His face is flush, features relaxing as you stir beneath him.

“Mmh.” You hum and nod your head once.

Joel lets out a sigh of relief. “I got you. Let me clean you up, angel face.”

He pulled himself off of you, steadying himself on his legs before making his way to the bathroom.

Your thighs twitch as your eyes dart around, fingers sprawling across his comforter. You turned your head to take a deep breath in, your nose filled with the smell of him.

Clean blanket, smoke and cedar.

Joel.

He returns a moment later with a warm, wet rag. “C'mere sweetheart,” He whispers, sitting in the bed next to you.

He slowly pats the warm rag against your face, cleaning the smudged and running makeup. You watched him closely. His eyes are soft, no longer harsh and black. They were big and doe like. The soft brown hue back. He gently dragged it down your neck, torso and then the insides of your thighs. You hissed, the skin there sensitive.

“Shh. S’okay. Did s’good for me. Gave me everythin’ you had. Looked so beautiful doin’ it.” He whispers, his gruff voice rolling softly from his swollen lips.

He gently wiped his spend between your thighs, turning the rag over until you were clean. He leaned over to toss it in his hamper, turning his full attention to you.

“Thank you, darlin’.” He lays on his back, pulling you into his side. You curl into him, your head nestled under his arm, nose brushing the side of his chest.

“Thank you, Joel.” You finally whisper, feeling more grounded, more present.

He chuckles, craning his neck to look at you, the arm under your head curling around your body, tracing his fingers against your skin.

“There's my girl.” he whispered into your hair.

The two of you laid there for some time, damp bodies intertwined. Joel whisperering sweet praises. Sharing sweet, soft kisses here and there.

Until your phone vibrates. You fish it from the sheets.

Dad.

Your heart drops, turning the screen to Joel and he gives a sympathetic smile.

“Hey.” You answer swiftly. Act normal. You’re not laying naked with his best friend.

“Hey, kid. Did you help Joel out?”

Your throat tightens. But you remind yourself that is what you were supposed to do. Just not how your dad thinks.

“Yes.” You blurt out bluntly.

“Well, alright.. Are you still there? Been a while. Just checkin’ on you.” He asked, voice wavering a bit. He's waiting for you to fill in the spaces so he doesn't have to ask. But you don’t.

“Nope. Left after dropping off the chairs.” You roll your eyes and Joel gives you a squeeze.

Your dad didn’t say anything. He’s asking where you are without seeming like he’s prodding.

“Went out with Cody,” You say quickly. “I’ll be out late. But not too late. I’ll be safe. I’m okay.”

You barely take a breath between your words. Joel's eyebrows lift at your mention of Cody, he's sucking his teeth quietly.

“Oh! Well-uh.. Well, alright kid. Be uh. Be safe and good y’know. Can’t leave Tommy. He’s in bad shape. Call Joel if you need anything. He won’t mind helpin’ you out.” He says, speaking just as quickly as you did.

“Okay, thanks. Bye, dad.” You hang up before he can answer, tossing your phone on the bedside table with a groan. You turned back into Joel and buried your face in his chest.

“Out with Cody, hm?” He teases, wiggling his fingers on your side.

“Did you want me to tell him I’m laid up naked next to his best friend?” You quipped.

Joel opened his mouth to speak, then shut it. He shook his head.

“Thought so.” You scrunch your nose at him, stretching up to place a soft kiss on your lips.

“Said I’d still be a while.. He told me to call you if I needed anything.” You continue, lifting yourself to straddle his lap, knees sinking into the mattress on either side of his hips, hands splayed on his torso.

Joel sighed, sinking into the bed, one arm folding behind his head, the other resting on the top of your thigh. His eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Did he now?” He clicks his tongue.

“Said you wouldn’t even mind helpin’ me out.”

“I wouldn’t.” He chuckles, hand rubbing slowly on your thigh.

You sit there and bask in each other's smiles before his drops, his body stirring beneath yours.

“Think you can give me one more before you go, hm?” He asks, your stomach does a flip.

“Joel- no way.” You laugh, prodding a finger into his chest. “M’still sore.”

He shook his head before removing the pillow behind it.

“C’mere n’ sit on my face. Lemme kiss you better.” He muses and your face drops, trying to read his expression if he was serious or not, his hand on your thigh pulling you up his torso.

“Don't mind helpin’ you out.” He repeats your earlier words with a smirk.

✨

thank you <3

[pintobug]

would anyone mind tagging some writers they know don’t use AI? i’d love to support and read their works <3 i feel like i’ve been seeing a lot of AI fics being reposted on my feed lately & i’d love to drown it out!

[pintobug]

maintenance

dbf!joel miller x female reader

chapter 7: who’s still standing when the smoke clears?

rating: 18+ MDNI

masterlist

summary: first day back at the diner & a flat tire? joel can make it better.

word count: 5.5k

tags: internal conflict, mentions of anxiety/OCD, mild angst?, little bit of fluff, very transitional chapter im sorry lol, age gap, reader is 23, joel is 46.

a/n: got myself back on schedule. have the next few chapter outlined and i’m excited to write them. thank you all for being beyond patient. <3 also- i've tried to make my writing of reader to be as neutral as possible besides the mention of a little bit of hair length. but if theres ever a sentence of time where you guys think i'm possibly too descriptive of the reader, please point it out!!! i literally just think of myself when writing and have found myself mentioning that readers face turns red when embarrassed while that isn't true for all skin tones. so as i've caught it i've tried to change it to things like 'you feel your face warm' instead. if theres anything i'm overlooking please do not shy away from calling me out! the next chapter will be fun you guys i promise

You did not expect your first day back at Riverside Diner to be so fucking horrendous. It started with two people calling out. Not too bad, but that was just the beginning. Frank was ticked off, but he picked up some tables here and there to take some of the pressure off of you and the other servers. You were nearing the end of your shift, beyond thrilled to go home, get clean and settle down. You’re proud of the way you handled it- just being thrown into the pits of hell like you haven’t missed a day. Bill even tossed some french fries in a paper boat your way, his silent way of thanking you.

You pushed through the swinging doors of the kitchen to look for Frank in the dining room. You locked eyes with him immediately and knew something was wrong. His eyebrows were all pinched up, eyes wide enough to see the whites clear as day and that forced a little too wide smile of his. Frank is moving quickly between the aisles of booths and nodding frantically at the new tables. Your shoulders dropped, the lead weight in your chest pulling them down. You have a feeling you won’t be able to leave right now.

“Hey, sugar.” Frank says with pleading eyes and a sickeningly sweet tone.

You inhale deeply and nod your head, knowing exactly what he’s asking for.

“Need me to stay a little longer?” Deep down you hope he says no.

He nods his head.

“Overheard a few of the tables talking about the arena on campus. I guess there's a band playing- I don’t know. But I need hands, hun. I cut Michelle ten minutes ago. It’s just us.” He wears a pained expression on his face while admitting that last part.

You can’t leave him. You exhale while scanning the dining room, the bell on the door indicating that new customers are filing in is relentless. Slowly but surely table after table filled up, then it was the bar stools and no one was able to flip tables quick enough to keep the line out the door under control. Double sat, triple sat and before you know it there's six tables that don’t have drinks yet. You can’t even think about the bar yet.

“Excuse me!”

You can’t even tell which table it’s from.

Your forced smile is fading and tunnel vision sets in. Frank checks in with you here and there by patting his hand on your back while passing by. He’s running around you, weaving through customers trying to lessen the load. Trays of drinks going out quickly. You’re sure you forgot to put syrup on one of the tables but you can’t remember which. Tightness in your chest reminds you to breathe.

“Come on.. Not now.” You mutter to yourself while repeatedly jamming your finger into the service computer.

It locks up and freezes every now and then but you didn’t have the time for it right now. You’re only halfway through putting the damn order in when it seizes up. You close your eyes and bite back a groan. You can hear the kitchen scrambling, Bill barking out dishes, ticket numbers and tables that he’s still waiting for one more thing. Your throat feels tight. You’re wasting time standing here and just waiting for the stupid fucking computer to pick back up. You slam your guest check down onto the counter and make a round of the tables.

“Can I have a refill?”

You have to double back to grab the cup which wasn’t even empty. It sloshed as you gripped it up and spilled onto your forearm. You cursed under your breath and quickly turned away. Before you dropped that drink off another table stopped you.

“Hi, how much longer for our food?”

Words to the tune of: ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ are bubbling at the back of your throat. You bite them back and force a toothy grin.

“I’ll check.” You feign kindness.

Quickly you drop off the refill and practically run into the kitchen and past the swinging doors. The first thing you notice is the constant mechanical whirr of the ticket printer spitting out the papers non stop. Bill keeps this a well oiled machine but even now there's tickets hanging from the printer that haven’t been looked at yet, bodies darting from station to station- plating, wiping, topping and serving it through the pass. Bill whistles to you and gestures to the plates he set on a large serving tray.

“Booth ten.” He says, scrapping the ticket and piercing it on the pin.

You grab the large tray mindlessly and head back out into the dining room.

Ten. Ten. Booth ten. Ten.

You’re bobbing through people standing in the walkways, your ‘excuse me’s falling on deaf ears.

“Can I have another straw?” “I think I ordered…” “Are there more napkins?” “…An extra side of bacon.”

You don’t even know which direction the voices are coming from at this point. Somehow you make it there in one piece and don’t even remember setting the food down.

“Can we have syrup?” “And some more napkins.” “If you have any hot sauce, we’d love it if you could bring some out!”

Fuck, you knew you forgot the syrup. By the time you grab the bottle you forget what table even asked for it. You chewed nervously on your lower lip while almost jogging up and down the rows of tables before finally- no syrup in this booth. You set it down, apologize and scurry back to the kitchen before they have the chance to get a word in.

The computer. Holy shit you forgot about the fucking computer. You still didn’t finish putting that order in. You try to now show your pure panic on your face while making your way back to the system. You whine quietly, bouncing on your feet impatiently as you wait for the screen to wake up. It takes a few seconds longer than usual but it’s up. All the air leaves your lungs in a long exhale. Quickly, you enter the order that was forgotten about. Double check it and send it.

You’re running on fumes. Your hands are sticky from syrup and drinks splashed up your arms and your apron is covered in crumbs and smeared whipped cream. Your sweat is sticking to your temples and you’re sure you’ve sweat off half your makeup. There's an ache in the soles of your feet and your lower back and your palms and your bladder- you really need to fucking pee.

The bar. How could you forget about the bar? You quickly make your way behind it and check in with each and every customer sitting there. You turn around and refill, turn again and set it back down. You’re grabbing ketchup, cream, sugars, tabasco, syrup, butter squares, silverware and anything else you could think of- they’re asking for it. The sweat is visible running down your temples, beading under your eyes and the top of your lip.

It goes on for so long. So, so long. Frank trying to keep up with tables, Bill trying to keep up with the kitchen and you trying to keep up with survival right now. But there is a turning point. A light at the end of the tunnel where you’re printing more checks than you’re creating. The bell on the front door no longer signals patrons coming in, but going out. You’re actually able to clean a table off here and there.

It ends. Eventually. You don’t know how it ends but it fucking ends. Hours later. Hours after you were supposed to be home and in bed. When the last customer exits Frank quickly locks the door behind them and takes a moment to lean against the door.

“Holy shit.” Is all he says.

You finally get to pee before starting the break down. Your head is buzzing while clearing tables, thoughts on loop of how exhausted you are and how gross all of these tables are.

“Don’t do any silverware. Just.. We just need to get this place looking like a bomb didn’t go off, hun.” He speaks slowly, clearly exhausted while beginning to sweep the floors. You just finished cleaning the last table when Frank lets you go. He shushes you when you tell him you can still help but he thanks you and pulls you into a hug before sending you on your way.

You made it to your car twenty minutes ago but you just couldn’t muster up the courage to start it. The center of your steering wheel is at the focus of your stare the entire time. Grateful doesn’t even begin to explain your feelings towards sleeping in a little more earlier today. You didn’t have enough time to walk, so you took your car. If you had to walk home after all of that you might have lost it.

Empty. Drained. Fatigued.

All accurate words to describe you right now.

In time you manage to start the car then slowly pull out of the spot and start heading home. You turned into the street and stopped at the red light once you reached it. Sighing, you peered over to your phone that's sitting in the passenger seat. There's a few texts from Ellie. That’s it. You’ll see her soon so you don’t need to answer her right now. There's a soft pull in your chest. You were hoping to see a text from Joel, if you were honest with yourself. Something to pick you up after the shit show you encountered.

The light turns green.

You slowly turn the wheel to the right and let up off of the brake and-

POP! Pfffffffffft.

You jump at the loud noise and slam your foot into the break just as your car slowly begins to tilt. You look around frantically with wide eyes.

“Fuck.” You whispered, peeking out into the street.

You gently pushed your foot into the gas, trying to pull to the side and you heard the crunch of glass under your flattened tire.

“Fuck.” You say again but sharper this time.

You quickly throw the car into park and fling the door open, legs moving quickly while rounding the hood of the car and-

There it is.

The flaccid rubber of the passenger side tire.

You refuse to believe it. Theres absolutely no fucking way you popped a tire after the day you just had. The universe has to be playing some sort of sick joke.

Your mouth hangs open. Flat. Throat is dry. Buzzing fills your ears and tears sting your eyes and your fingers start to numb and your chest is tight and the dizziness starts to creep in and now your face is wet from tears you don’t even have to push out. A broken sob leaves your lips. You pat your hands down your jeans and your pockets are empty. There’s fucking syrup everywhere and the sweet smell on your hands is starting to turn your stomach.

Nauseous. Dirty.

You throw open the passenger door and scramble for your phone with trembling fingers. Everything is blurry through the stinging in your eyes but you find your phone and swipe through it maniacally. You don’t even know what you’re doing all you can feel is lead in your chest and in your stomach and pins and needles in your arms and running down your fingertips and-

“Another late night call?”

The sound of his voice makes you cry harder.

“Woah- What's wrong?” His voice is taught and frantic, that slow sultry drawl now thrown out the window.

You choke out his name.

“Where are you?”

You’re babbling and making no sense. Sore. Your eyes are sore and your throat is sore and your nose starts to run.

“Baby, please tell me where you are?”

You hear keys over the line. You’re rubbing your eyes to regain some sight through tears and running makeup while choking out the closest street sign you can make out and that you think there's a coffee shop behind you. You’re stuttering, every word that passes your lips pulls any lasting energy in your body. Hands are so numb you can’t hold the weight of your phone anymore and it bounces back onto the passenger seat while you sob uncontrollably. Raw and broken and loud.

Crumbling onto the curb, you try to soothe yourself by wrapping your arms around your knees. But you’re sticky. And dirty. Your chest is heaving with breaths ripping through your esophagus. There’s nowhere you can go to wash off and you’re all alone with the walls closing in despite being outside, crying too fucking hard to see your hands right in front of your face.

You don’t know how long you’ve been here. It could be seconds, minutes, or even closer to hours. It’s all melting into one. Continuous sobs while your hands paw at your face in a useless attempt to dry it from tears.

You hear his voice in the distance all muffled and broken up between your sobs. The usual roar of his truck engine is just barely there. A sharp pain in your lungs prevents you from taking a full breath. All the muscles are constricting around your chest. You can’t take a deep breath and your eyes are fluttering while the ringing in your ears takes over everything, deaf to any other sound.

If you thought your throat was raw before, you were sorely mistaken. Every breath hurts. Ripping in and out of your esophagus that's heating up from all the irritation to the point where you’d believe it if you coughed up blood.

Two strong hands settling at your shoulders drags you to a somewhat conscious state. Your face is hot, head throbbing from all of the blood whooshing around. You’re hunched over and shaking. The hands. Strong hands. You feel them gently on your cheeks, tilting your head up. You hear your name over the all familiar crashing waves.

Joel is on the verge of panicking himself. His large hands are enveloping the side of your head that's slick with tears and sweat and who knows what else. His calloused thumbs are swiping at the tears but it’s no use. They keep rolling. Joel catches a glimpse of what should be the whites of your eyes- all red and irritated now with puffy lids. Your lips are swollen and red. He can’t tell what is tears, spit, snot or sweat but he doesn’t care. He just needs to make sure you’re okay.

He’s feverishly scanning your body over and over and over again. No wounds. No injuries. That he can see at least. His stomach turns, nursing his own bout of anxiety but anger bubbles over that as the worst comes to his mind.

Did someone hurt you? Did someone fucking hurt you and leave you here?

He can’t spend time seething over the possibility while you’re hysterical in front of him. He needs to reel you in. He starts by whispering your name but it’s overshadowed by your cries and gasps for breath. He repeats it but can see the disconnect. You’re looking through him right now. Not at him. He’s talking but you’re not hearing.

He does the only thing he thinks he could and pulls you into his chest there on the curb with his knees digging into the asphalt. Joel soothes a hand down your back repeatedly and whispers into your ear. He’s talking aimlessly about anything that comes to mind. But it starts to cut through.

He pulls you from his chest after some time and takes another look at you. This time you’re looking at him. Really looking. Pupils dilated. His heart throbs heavily. Seeing you like this makes him sick but he doesn’t dwell on it. He knows he needs to be a rock for you right now and he wouldn’t want to do anything else. All caution is out the window. Joel doesn’t care if anyone sees him consoling a ‘client’ at this time of night. The word leaves a bad taste in his mouth. You’re no damn client to him, no matter how badly he tries to convince himself.

He thinks about you a lot. He tries to control himself, he swears he really does but it’s to no avail. He tries not to contact you the second he opens his eyes and it’s getting painful. He doesn’t have an easy time trying to process these emotions. Forget explaining them. He’s not good with words despite how well he can talk you through it. Joel likes to think his actions speak for themselves.

They do.

The waves begin to settle and the gravel of his voice takes over.

“Shhh, s’okay sweetheart.”

“Gonna need to try and calm down f’me, now.”

“I’ve gotcha, darlin’.”

Your voice is frail and cracking.

“M-My tire.. I’m dirty.” You sputter out through a coughing fit and quieting sobs.

He can just barely make out what you’re saying through your gasps for breath and coughing.

“Are you hurt? Did somebody hurt you?” His voice is soft and unwavering with fear in his eyes.

“No!” You choke out and sob into his hands that linger at your face.

You don’t mean to raise your voice at him but he doesn’t mind. You bring your hands to cover your face but instead they clamp over his hands that cradle your face. He pulls you closer into him, feeling the sticky syrup grab onto his shirt and frowns. It doesn’t bother him really but he knows it's upsetting you.

“C’mon baby, look at me.” Joel tries to coax you through your heavy breathing but you don’t listen.

Slowly he pulls his hands from your face and finds your eyes again. Joel takes both of your hands in one of his and presses it to his chest. He takes slow, calculated breaths that force his chest to expand and collapse.

“Breathe with me darlin’.” He whispers

You tried to focus on the steady rise and fall of his chest but it was hard. Joel reeled you back in with a squeeze of your hands. You can feel the soft thud behind his chest. Steady and strong. You flatten your one palm there and try to focus. Rise and fall and thud. He’s here and he’s real and you can feel him.

You suck in a slower breath through a tight jaw, attempting to match him. It’s broken and shaking but it’s slower. Joel nods his head encouragingly and continues to exaggerate his slow, deep breaths.

You’re almost matching his pace now, your own heart no longer thumping in the base of your throat. Tears are slowing to a drip down your cheeks.

“Are you hurt?” Joel speaks up eventually.

“No.” Your voice is hoarse.

“Why are you out here all alone, sweetheart?”

“Tire.”

He looks over his shoulder at it and then back to you.

“Did something happen before that?”

“Work.” You have no energy to give anything more than that flat, one worded answer.

You can’t force anymore and Joel knows that, so he doesn’t push. He lets you sit quietly against him for some time.

Eventually Joel taps you and pulls you up with him while holding you steady.

“C’mon with me.” He whispers and walks you over to his truck that's pulled in front of your car.

He keeps his arm wrapped around your shoulders as you walk next to him. Joel lowers the tailgate of his truck and turns to you then picks you up like it’s nothing and sets you onto the edge with your legs dangling off. He stands between your knees with hands at your shoulders, steadying you.

“I’ll be right back.” He mutters and leaves you to dig in the cabin of his truck.

You’re slouched over with the weight of the world on your back and your arms collapsed into your lap. You sniff and rub your wet nose with the back of your arm and let it collapse again. Joel returns shortly with a bottle of water with the cap already removed.

“I always got some in the back seat.” He says casually while gesturing it towards you.

You blink at it a few times then look at Joel before slowly taking the water bottle into your shaky hand and bringing it to your lips. He leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead while you take small sips. Then another. And another. And the last one lingers for a long time. The water hurts going down your throat, still swollen and raw from your cries but it will help.

“You tell me if you need somethin’. M’gonna fix that up for you.” He says while giving your thigh a gentle pat and a squeeze.

You don’t respond or react but look at him with wet and irritated dyes. You watch him walk over to your car and ponder for a moment with his hands at his hips and one knee cocked out. He rifles through your trunk before coming out with the car jack. He slips it under the car and starts cranking it up.

Joel works quietly and doesn’t say anything to you while he’s working but he does look at you maybe every ten seconds just to make sure you’re still there and breathing. Maybe to make sure you’re not going off the deep end again. Joel has noticed small comments over the past few weeks but he has never pressed you on anything you haven’t come outright and told him about. But he makes a note in his head to press you about this. Not right now. Or any time tonight. But he will. Joel doesn’t know if he’s helping you and it makes him feel uneasy. Could he be making this worse for you? His only saving grace is that you’re no longer screaming and crying. He replaces your flat tire with the spare in your trunk in record time.

“Still got it, huh?” He jokes lightly.

It’s exactly what he said after moving your dresser into your room and it makes your heart heavy. You remember how you responded all those weeks ago but you do not have the energy to do it now. It doesn’t look like he minds. Without another word he helps you off of the tailgate and sets you back on your wobbling feet. Joel walks with you around his truck to the passenger side and opens the door for you. You grab onto his shoulder while climbing in.

“Stay here.” He says.

You listen, no desire to move in the slightest. The rumble of your car's engine startles you and you whip your head to the side. Joel slowly rolls your car against the side of the road, lining it up before shutting it off again. Guilt pangs in your stomach. Moments later he returns with your phone, bag and keys. He reaches over you to set them all on the center console and lets his hand rest on your knee.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out.

He tuts quietly and shakes his head. He’s pressed into the side of the car, knees pressed into the running board and arm slung over your thighs. His other hand brushes some hair from your face while he whispers to you.

“Nothin’ to be sorry for, baby. When I told you to call me next time you needed me, I meant that. M’proud of you for rememberin’.”

You open your mouth to blubber out another apology but he cuts you off with a simple kiss. It’s sweet. Gentle and warm against your face that feels like an open wound. You barely return the kiss but not because you don’t want to, you simply don’t have the energy to. He pulls back from the kiss and just stays close. Your eyes bore into his, almost ready to cry again from how sweet and gentle he’s being despite not knowing what the fuck is going on.

“Moved your car into an actual spot so you won’t get a ticket. I’ll take you back here tomorrow morning, alright sweetheart?” He hums.

You slowly nod.

“Can I take you home?”

You nod again before Joel buckles you into the seat and gently closes the door. He rounds the hood of the truck and hops in the driver's seat. His hand makes immediate contact with your knee, heavy and comforting as he drives away. The ride is silent other than Joel triple checking if you’re okay. And to remind you to drink water. A few more squeezes of your knee and you’re sitting outside of your house.

Ellie’s room light is on. Fuck.

“She home?” Joel questions while lowering his head to look at what you’re looking at.

“She is,” You say quietly with eyes lingering on the window. “I don’t want you to leave.”

Joel turns the key and the engine rumbles before stopping. He didn’t question your request.

“Can you wait here? I can sneak you in.” You say while unbuckling your belt.

“Sneak? Why do you have to sneak me in?” He asks with saddled brows.

“You want Ellie to see you bringing me home this late? You didn’t even want the neighbors to see you coming over without a toolbox in your hand.” It sounds more harsh than you mean it.

It makes Joel’s chest tighten but he doesn’t comment because it’s true. He did say something to that effect. He regrets it. But he’d be silly to deny the excitement he gets from sneaking around like a teenage boy again.

“Stay here?” You look over your shoulder at Joel.

“You sure you’re okay to go in by yourself?”

“Just for a second. I’ll be okay.” Your voice keeps its soft, hushed tone.

Joel nods and watches you exit the truck, walk to the front door and disappear.

You sigh the second you enter your house, a comforting and familiar space feels better than the sidewalk at midnight. You hang your bag on the hook and slowly wall up the stairs to Ellie’s room.

“Ellie?” You call out quietly with a hand on her door knob.

Slowly, you push the cracked door open while the door squeaks and you silently curse yourself. No answer. She’s laying on her belly, game controller in hand, slipping off the bed. Face smushed into the comforter she’d sprawled on top of. You blink a few times and shake your head. She had to have fallen asleep in the middle of a game, the monitor still had a game lobby up with quiet music playing on a loop. You sigh quietly and back out of the room, quietly clicking the door shut.

You turn and make your way down the steps again and open the front door. Joel is still sitting in his truck across the street from your house. You wave for him to come in and wait for him to get up to the doorway. You lock the door behind him and gesture him up the steps while ‘shhhhsh’ing him when he takes a step that creaks too loud.

“She’s asleep,” You whisper once the two of you make it into your room. “and I really need to shower. But feel free to make yourself comfortable here.”

You look around your room with Joel in it. It’s surreal.

“Let me come in with you.” He says softly while taking a few steps closer to you.

You don’t speak for a moment, surprised at his comment.

“Come in with me?” You repeat his words back to him.

He chuckles quietly and nods his head.

“Yeah, come in with you.” He repeats again in a lighthearted tone.

So, you shower together. The water was warm enough to create steam that fogged the mirror as it billowed out from behind the curtain. Joel steps in first and makes sure the water feels right before taking your hand and guiding you under the stream. It feels normal. You don’t stop to think about being fully nude in front of him for the first time because he doesn’t make it feel like you should. He’s soft and gentle, no lingering stares anywhere but your face and his hands massaging shampoo into your hair. Joel cradles your head and tilts it under the water to let it wash away the suds then brings you out of the stream to press a soft kiss to your forehead. He’s doing all of the work for you, sudsing the soap between his hands and the washcloth and softly scrubbing it over your arms to get rid of any sticky syrupy patches. You want to stay like this forever.

With his hand, Joel pushes his hair away from his face, now shades darker from the water and slicked back. Brown eyes blinking the water away under heavy lids. A pang of guilt hits you low in your stomach for the second time. You don’t even know what time it was when you called him. He has to be exhausted but here he is in the shower, washing your strawberry scented soap off of your skin.

“Feelin’ alright?” He says just loud enough over the patter of water.

“I’m alright.” You nod your head slowly.

He turns you around a few times in the water making sure there's no more suds latched onto your skin before reaching around and turning the water off. You wrap your arms around your chest and stand there with water rolling down your legs while Joel reaches for one of the towels hanging up. He helps you out and wraps the warm towel around your shoulders. You pull it tighter around yourself while Joel reaches for a second towel and wraps it around his waist. He reaches out and settles a hand on the door knob.

“Wait-” You blurt out and he turns his head back to you, not moving a muscle.

“Let me check and make sure she’s still asleep.” You whisper.

Joel nods and stands to the side. You slowly turn the knob and push the door open, peeking out to confirm that the coast is clear. You open it and gesture Joel out, his arms filled with the clothing the two of you were previously in.

“I’ll be in there in a minute.”

He nods his head and presses a soft kiss to your lips before you watch him disappear into your bedroom. You take a deep breath and sigh while turning to face the mirror hanging on the wall. There's still some stubborn mascara under your eye. You fasten the towel under your arms and start to spot clean with a cotton pad. Moments later you’ve got a clean face, brushed teeth and you’re about to finish detangling your hair when a soft knock rasps at the door. You pause and turn towards it, cracking it open.

You nearly jump out of your skin when you’re greeting with Ellie’s drowsy face. You’re grateful her eyes are barely open because she can’t question the pure shock on your face when you see her.

“Y’got home so late.” She mumbles while rubbing her eyes.

“I know. I promise I’ll fill you in tomorrow but go back to bed. Your eyes aren’t even open, Ellie.”

“Gotta pee.” She says with eyes still squinted.

“Shit, sorry.” You cringe and slip out of the bathroom.

“Goodnight.” Ellie grumbles.

“Night, Ellie.” You whisper while slipping into your bedroom.

You slowly click the door closed and turn around, pressing your back into the door and sighing heavily.

“Looks like you seen a ghost, darlin’.” His low voice breaks the anxiety building in your stomach.

You force a breathy laugh and lift your head to look at him. God, it takes all of the air out of your lungs. His hair is no longer soaked, it’s damp and starting to curl at the ends like it normally does. His tanned torso is exposed with hair littering his chest with a fine line down his soft stomach while it disappears under the band of his boxers. His sweatpants hung so low on his hips you could see said band before the elastic of his pants just under it. That was it. Joel Miller, damp in your bedroom. You couldn’t ask for anything more.

It reminds you of the night of the storm. When he surprised you at your front door, soaked to the bone. The only difference is, this Joel just helped you through a panicked episode without a shred of knowledge of them, washed you off and showered you clean and this Joel helps you get dressed, too. He helps you pull on a shirt over your head and he makes sure none of your hair is caught in the collar of it. He holds out his arm to balance you while you’re slipping on a pair of your shorts. This Joel lays in bed next to you under your comforters with your back pressed firmly into his chest and his strong arm draped over your waist.

You like this Joel, too.

[pintobug]

thank you for much for taking the time to write this. i say it every time but i mean it- this means so much to me!! i cant wait for give you guys the next few chapters. it should be really fun!! thank you thank you thank you ♥️

maintenance

dbf! joel miller x female reader

chapter 6: have your cake and eat it too

rating: 18+ MDNI

masterlist

summary: joel pays a visit. reader has dinner with her dad. ellie finally comes home!

word count: 6.9k

tags: flirting, internal conflict, maintenance man!joel, dbf!joel, joel x female reader, very mild angst, age gap, reader is 23, joel is 46.

a/n: i wanna thank you guys for being so patient with me while i was sick. also- i’m sorry this chapter isnt as long at the recents. i still hope you guys enjoy.

Three solid rasps at the door rips your attention from all of the baking ingredients sprawled out on the counter.

“Coming!” You announce while skittering towards the door.

You open it quickly, beaming up to Joel on the other side.

“You’re a cheeky lil’ thing, you know that? Hung up on me ‘fore I could get a word in.” He’s got a lopsided smile plastered over his lips.

“That was the whole point.” You remind him and usher him in.

You bring him into the kitchen and gesture your arms at the spread.

“We got some work to do, cowboy.”

Joel raises an eyebrow, his smile still there until suddenly it's not.

“My god, look at you.” He takes a step closer, grabbing your gesturing hands and flipping them palm up.

You wince when he drags his thumb over the scrapes.

“They hurt when you touch ‘em.” You hiss, jerking them closer to your body, but still in his grasp.

“They look like they hurt.” He sucks his teeth and shakes his head. “Where else you scraped up, hm? This it?”

You shake your head. You feel like a dog with its tail between its legs.

“My knees. Well, knee- really. The one got the worst of it, the other one is fine.” You kick out one of your legs to display the scrape to him.

It’s red and angry but scabbed over. You weren’t sugarcoating it. They really weren’t bothering you unless they were being touched. Your hands were different, dull throbs in them from being used constantly. It was hard to avoid. But you’re more than willing to pay for your crime of getting too drunk and allowing yourself to interact with Owen.

“Christ.” He mutters and shakes his head.

He’s looking at you like he’s the one who just got scraped up, like he’s in physical pain. His big, brown, puppy dog eyes are boring into you.

“Alright, stop with the pity party.” You wave him off with a hand. “Need your help.”

You ignore the throb in your chest as his face softens, still laced with an ounce of concern. His shoulders relax while he exhales, eyes flickering between you and the counter.

“Okay, baby. Give me the low down.” His voice practically drips from his lips.

You're reminded of how it sounded over the phone last night. Slow, low and raspy. Southern twang was prominent when heavy with sleep. All of that made the filthy words he spoke that much better. The way he calls you baby, not even in a bedroom sense. But after you told him you didn’t like the way it sounded coming from another guy's mouth- he made sure to throw it in there.

You explain everything, tell him about the cake, fudge icing, and the black cocoa powder you use. You tell him that it gives a beautiful bitter taste that balances out when you cut it with half of a regular cocoa powder, but the color. The color takes it to a different level. It’s black and velvet. It’s beautiful.

“That's what makes Oreos so dark.” You tell him.

He gives you a kind of deadpan look.

“You got a lotta shit stored up here, huh?” He smiles down at you, tapping the top of your head

“A lot is an understatement. Filled with useless information is more accurate.” You cross your eyes, trying to look up at his hand.

He chuckles and removes it, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. He looks soft and calm. His presence has a weight to it, a good one. Joel claps his hands together and rubs them. It sounds rough from all the years of labor, but they still touch and cradle you like you’re fragile.

“Like hearin’ what you got to say. C’mon now, show me what I’m ‘posed to be doin’.” He nudges you with his shoulder.

“Okay! Okay.” You laugh breathily.

You have the entire recipe memorized and you’re rattling off measurements and weights of the ingredients. Telling Joel if he’s going to crack the eggs to make sure to do it in a separate bowl, that there are no shells and to make sure that there are no yolks in the separated whites. He makes a face at you when you tell him this. One that has confusion and uncertainty plastered on it.

“Why don’t you do the eggs, darlin’?” He tells you, flashing a sweet smile but you can see the wary behind his eyes.

He does help you though. He greases the pan while you tell him about one of the first times you made this cake alone. You had made it in a decorative bundt pan for Christmas. You were really trying to step it up and show off your skills. It all fell on its head when you took the cake out of the oven, let it cool and tried to turn it over. Stuck. It wouldn’t come out of the pan. You tapped it, smacked it and finally started beating the side of your fist into it and it still didn’t budge. You tell Joel how you cried when presenting it to your parents and all they could do was hug you. You, your dad and your mom ate it right out of the cake pan later that night.

Joel's eyes crinkle when he smiles, the impression of two dimples under his thick beard. He’s got his hands in the pan, twisting and turning them with a butter wrapper to coat the bottom and sides. You try your hardest not to gawk at them working with something other than tools, something softer, something that feels personal to you. He chuckles between your words and his eyes rarely leave you, even if you’re not looking. You can feel them, studying the way you carefully separate the eggs, sprinkling salt in a container until it hits the exact number of grams you need. Your hands are skilled. In a different way then his.

Yours are scraped and bruised up right now but you’re still working meticulously, practiced and with ease. Joel admired this. His heart breaks a little every time he catches a glimpse of one of the angry scrapes. He wants to take over for you, baby you and make sure you don’t feel any pain while doing this. But he swallows the feeling down. He doesn’t want to overstep. You’re a capable little lady, he thinks. He really likes that about you. He didn’t realize he was staring until you said his name in that sweet voice you always do.

“Joel.” Your voice carries a sing-song tone.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you wanted to do the honors! Dump it all in the pan.” You smile up at him, gesturing the bowl and spatula to him.

He nods his head and gently takes them from you, tilting the bowl into the pan and scraping it clean with the spatula.

“Okay, now tap in gently on the counter a few times.”

Joel nods again and gently wraps his hands around the pan, tapping it against the counter top. He looks to you for approval and you nod your head.

“Make sure it sits on the middle rack in the oven.” You say softly.

You turn to open the oven door, warmth rushing out and fanning over your body. The gas clicks and kicks on in the oven. You turn to Joel and gesture towards the oven but he’s already bending down to slide the pan onto the rack.

“Perfect.”

“Y’think I did alright?” He chuckles, turning to the sink and washing his hands.

“I think you did great.”

He rolls his eyes playfully, leaning back against the counter and drying his hands off on a dish towel. You wash your hands and walk slowly, stopping in front of him. You take the dish towel from his hands and dry off your own, looking up to him. You pat your hands gently, making sure to not irritate your palms. Your bodies are close, your feet settled between his. You can feel his breath dust over the top of your head.

“C’mere.” He mumbles, wrapping his strong fingers around your wrist and pulling your torso into his.

You stumble forwards,head making contact with his chest. You laugh softly, wrapping your arms around his broad torso, tossing the dish towel somewhere on the counter behind him. His strong arms envelope your frame, wrapping over your shoulders in a bear hug and giving you a tight squeeze. You let out a strained groan at result of the squeezing, Joel lets up on your with a chuckle.

“The sink giving you any trouble?” He asks, smoothing his large palms down your back.

It sends chills from the soles of your feet to the top of your head.

“No, think the fella that fixed it knew what he was doing.” You tease, a cheesy smile fixing itself on your lips.

Joel mirrors the smile, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. You close your eyes and sigh. The warmth of his lips made your belly tumble, the soft fan of his exhale from his nose buried into your hair. It felt good. It felt safe. You remember what he said last night. About calling him, about letting him make sure you got home safe. You think about how quickly he called you when you told him you were sore. How he only reiterated that you should’ve called him last night to help you. He wants to help you. You feel a familiar gentle tug in your chest and it almost knocks the wind out of you.

You’re not scared.

Not of Joel at least.

You are scared of the secret you’re keeping. You’re scared of Ellie coming home and having to figure out what this means. Are you going to tell Ellie? In turn you have to explain he’s your dads friend. Ellie might be turned off by the fact that he’s older but when you turn and tell her he’s also friends with your dad? You don’t know how she’ll react. Actually, fuck that. You have no idea how Joel will react. You need to tell him. The tug in your chest changes to a quickening thud. Your mouth gets dry and you swallow thickly to try and make it better.

“Y’alright, darlin’?” Joel pulls back and looks down at you, feeling you tense up.

You look up, staring blankly for a second. You need to pull yourself together before he questions you more. You won’t be able to keep yourself from spilling everything if you start. Just like that- you snap out of it. Wanting to keep this moment, keep Joel, as pure as possible for the time being. The sharp emptiness in your eyes fade and you let them go soft, switching your brain off so you can focus on Joel. It’s easy to do when he’s standing in front of you. Easy to get lost in his eyes. Studying every hair, every mark, every curve and every crease on his face. The tan from years spent working in the Texas sun. The way the grey in his hair seeps along his temples.

“M’alright.” You tell him, turning your head to press your head against his chest.

The soft whirs of his body fill your head. Then you hear it. The gentle thud behind his chest. You walk your fingers up his torso, pressing your palm against his chest, ignoring the way your scrapes pull when you flatten it against his shirt. You feel it there. He’s real and he’s here.

Joel doesn’t ask you again. He doesn’t ask anything else for sometime. He lets you rest against him, raking his hands up and down your back. He knows something is up, but he doesn’t want to press. Joel just wants to be here for you. He knows you’ll key him in when you want to. Patience is something Joel has a lot of when it comes to this. To you. He surprises himself with that.

You’re the one to pull away, feeling a little too vulnerable for comfort.

“Time to make the icing?” He asks.

You’re surprised when he speaks up, but you nod your head. You feel a little spacey after pulling away from him and maybe he reads that. Because he takes the lead. He’s asking you questions in a soft voice, how much of this to add to that and how he should mix it. He even takes some on the tip of his index finger and holds it out to you.

“S’it taste right?” He gestures with his finger again.

Your eyes flicker between his finger and his face. You lean towards him and lick the icing off of his finger. It makes your cheeks hurt from how sweet it is. But it tastes right. Tastes like it always has. It tastes like home. And Joel. The fudgey chocolate is forward with the salinity of his skin on the back end. Joel watches you carefully like he can see the gears turning in your brain. It’s not sexual but it’s intimate.

“Tastes right.” You tell him.

He smiles warmly. You like the way he’s taking control. Just silently taking control. You like how dominant he is. Not in the fact that he’s ordering and demanding you around, not that at all. But noticing there's a problem and taking care of it. Taking care of you. He handles it with ease.

You jump when the timer goes off and Joel’s already pulling the oven door down.

“Look ready to you?” He asks, stepping to the side.

You squint and lean down, tapping the top of the cake with your finger. It's hot but not hot enough for you to pull back quickly. Just tap it to see the spring of the cake. You look at him and nod.

“It feels ready.”

“You can tell just by touchin’?” He asks, grabbing the oven mitts and slipping them on his hands.

“Yeah. It’s bouncy.” You say, leaning against the counter and watching him.

“Huh. You’ll have to tell me what you’re seein’. Teach me how to tell.” He smiles, setting the cake pan on the top of the oven.

You walk over and tap the top a few more times.

“Not wiggly. It’s bouncing back, there's a nice toasty feel to it. It’s done.”

Joel nods his head, taking off the oven mitts and laying them down on the counter.

“When do you have to head out?” He asks, coming to stand next to you.

You sigh and look at the clock on the oven.

“Maybe an hour.” You shrug.

There's a beat.

“Thank you for coming over.”

“I like seein’ you.” He tells you.

Your face grows warm at his admission. You like seeing him, too.

“I like hearin’ you.” He continues, a sly smirk toying at the corner of his lips.

Joel walks towards you, pinning you against the counter top with his hips. His hands rest on the counter at either side of you. You want to hide your face, embarrassed as he mentioned last night.

“Yeah?” You tease.

“Yeah.” He nods his head with a light laugh.

You laugh breathily and lean up to press a soft kiss to his lips. He tastes like chocolate. He’s warm, soft and inviting. He doesn’t break the kiss and neither do you. Joel tilts his head, angling his lips down to you. You respond, moving with him in sync. Your hands skid up his torso and over his shoulders to link behind his neck. He sighs softly through his nose, hands moving from the counter to rest on your hips. He doesn’t deepen the kiss right away. He keeps it light and playful. He’s working you up. He knows it too. He’s waiting for you to make the move. You don’t take long to do it. You stand on your tippy toes, pushing your tongue past his lips and sighing softly once you feel his.

“Happy you called last night.” He tells you through kisses.

You hum as response, too eager to continue kissing him to pass the time.

“Wanted to come over here real bad, y’know.” He keeps pulling away from your mouth to speak.

His lips connect with your jaw, then down the length of your neck, still whispering into your skin.

“Sounded real pretty.”

You bite back a small noise, letting your head fall into your shoulder, granting him more room to move about. His teeth sink into the soft spot where your neck meets your shoulder and you tug his head back by his hair.

“Don’t leave a mark there.” You tell him, though you’re ready to crumble in his hands if he tries again.

“Don’t want me to leave a little bite on you?” He asks, peering up at you from his hunched position. “Don’t want anyone to see?”

“Not my dad.” You hiss halfheartedly at him.

He looks down to the spot, the soft indent of his teeth marks are still on your glistening skin. He drags the flat of his tongue over it before placing a kiss there instead. You squirm against him and huff out a breath.

“You’re teasing.” You state obviously.

“You want me to stop?”

“No.” You say too quickly.

He pulls back anyway.

“I said no.” You repeat and he chuckles.

“I heard you.” Is all he says.

You whine in frustration and throw your head forward into his chest.

“You need to finish the cake.” He reminds you.

You grunt into his shirt in response. He doesn’t pull away from you, just lets you hang out there for a moment.

“I know.” You finally mumble into him.

“Alright, sweetheart.”

“You’re kinda fucked up for that.”

Joel furrows his eyebrows.

“For what?”

You look at him like he’s got three heads. He steps back and tilts his head, waiting for you to explain. You gesture your hands towards him and then yourself.

“Getting me all worked up then reminding me that I have shit to do that isn’t this.” You wave your hands around at him.

He’s got a sly fucking smirk on his face.

“This?” He mocks your hand movements.

“Yes. Fucked up.” You repeat and sigh deeply.

You ignore his proud chuckles and you grumble something under your breath. You are cutting it close on your time. But Joel is here, in your kitchen. He helped you bake a cake, make the icing and just kissed you like you meant the world to him. How could you be in a rush to get away from him?

You turn the cake upside down onto a dish. It’s no longer steaming and it's cool to the touch. He’s right behind you, placing the bowl of icing at your side. You look at him over your shoulder, feigning annoyance. He notices and doesn't say anything, but he does smile. He settles behind you, his hands finding their place on your hips, one of his hands slipping to rest on your lower stomach. He sways as you move, adding icing to the cake with a spatula. He’s humming softly into your hair, pressing the occasional soft kiss right above your ear. It feels normal and easy. The warm weight of Joel pressed behind you while you’re doing something so mundane, so domestic. It makes your stomach fill with butterflies while you lean back into him.

Joel draws small circles with his thumb at your hip, slipped it under the material of your shirt. He thinks you’re so soft. It drives him insane. He was hesitant to wrap his arms around you like this. It feels different than the sexual intimacy that the both of you shared previously. When he felt you melt into his hold, he swore his heart kicked up. He has a soft spot for you.

Something about you is comforting. Joel hasn’t had that in so long, it’s too hard to push it away. He’s spent too many nights alone, drinking with his brother while he rambles about all the girls he’s been seeing. Joel never told him, but he was jealous. Jealous that he could let anybody in. Jealous at how easy his brother made conversation. He even tried setting Joel up a few times but it always fell flat. He’d had relationships after his failed marriage, seen the same girl more than once. But even since that, it’s been quite some time. You pushed and prodded, made little comments here and there that made Joel curious. You don’t feel like them. Joel doesn’t feel like he has to entertain, or put on a show. He doesn’t feel like he has any expectations to meet. He can just be himself.

You swirl the spatula around on the top, creating a little design out of divots and peaks.

“Looks real good, baby.” He whispers into your hair.

You stop and tilt your head back against his shoulder, looking at him through your lashes. He pulled back to look down at you. The two of you share a sweet look, breathing each other in. He always smells the same. Clean and smokey. Warm with a hearty, earthy tone. It’s comforting. You find yourself wishing your pillow smelled like it some nights.

“Wanna clean the spatula?” You ask with a smile, holding it up and turning around in his arms.

He nods and licks it as you hold it close. You push it into his lip, smearing a glob of the chocolate icing over his plump lower lip. He widens his eyes and chuckles. Joel brings up his thumb to swipe the chocolate off his lower lip.

“Really?” He teases with a tut of his tongue.

You laugh lightly and nod.

“Couldn’t help myself.”

“Did you wanna taste it again?” He raises an eyebrow, soft glint in his eye.

You open your mouth to answer and Joel lays the chocolate covered pad of his thumb on your tongue. You blink up at him, wrapping your lips around his thick digit and pushing your tongue into the icing. He sighs heavily through his nose, his other fingers resting at the side of your throat. He just watches you for a moment. You slowly hollow your cheeks around his thumb, sucking off the icing and releasing it with a small ‘pop’.

Joel loosely wraps his hand at the base of your throat. He pushes his slick thumb into the bottom of your jaw to keep your head tilted back against him.

“You look real pretty like that, s’a shame you gotta go, darlin’.” He whispers in a gravelly voice.

Your thighs twitch and press together, the syrupy words going right to your core.

“A shame?” You speak just above a whisper.

“Yeah, baby. A real damn shame.” He repeats.

“Why’s that?” You press him.

“Got me all worked up lookin’ the way you do.” He squeezes your hip and you feel your stomach tighten.

You push your hips back into him. Joel Miller is no liar. You feel him hard, pressed into the curve of your ass. If he didn’t have the hold on you that he does, you swore your knees would give out right then. You need him. Badly.

“Feel that?” His voice snaps you out of your daydream.

You nod to the best of your ability, despite the gentle grip he has on your throat.

“Don’t think I forgot what I told you last night. Did you forget?” He’s using such a condescending tone but fuck- coming from his filthy mouth?

It couldn’t sound better.

“I didn’t forget.”

“What did I tell you, then?” He presses his fingers more firmly into your jaw.

You clam up all of a sudden. He’s had you sprawled out on the counter with his head between your thighs and now you’re nervous? He just has that effect on you. He moves so confidently, there's little room to doubt that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s intimidating in the best way possible. The way he makes you speak up, won’t touch you or give you what you need until you do what he asks of you. Even if it’s just a simple: ‘What did I tell you, then?’

“You said next time you see me..” Joel feels your throat contract under his hand as you swallow thickly. He’s watching you expectantly. “You’ll make me make a mess on your cock.” You’re surprised he could hear you given how softly it came out.

“That's why it's a shame baby, you’re making me a dishonest man.” He whispers into your ear, pressing a soft kiss to your lobe and then just below it.

He pushes his hips more firmly into your ass, pinning your hips against the counter. You can feel him breathe behind you. Chest slowly rising and falling. It’s embarrassing how easily he’s working you up. You’re more than positive he can feel the quick pulse of your heart just under your jaw, while he’s remaining calm and composed behind you.

“Since you’ve gotta go, I’ll tell you what-“ He proposes, tilting your head to the side while he peppers a soft kiss on your throat.

“I wanna take my time with you, sweetheart. Don’t wanna rush that one bit. Want to make sure you’re nice and worked up for me, yeah?” He whispers into your skin, you can’t help but let out a small noise.

His warm breath against your sensitive skin is making you shudder, your belly doing somersaults.

“You go ‘head and leave me today and I’ll make sure I make it up to you. How’s that sound, darlin’?” He continues to press gentle kisses to the side of your neck.

“S-Sounds good, Joel.” You stutter, sucking in a sharp breath.

He chuckles against your skin, biting gently there. Joel pulls back and turns your head towards him, pressing another soft kiss to your lips this time. He pulls back and gently squeezes the base of your throat.

“You gotta get goin’.” He reminds you.

You just stand there, looking at him. With that fucking smug look on his face, like he knows he got you all trussed up with no way to release. You’re in awe. How does he know exactly what to do, exactly what to say to hit you in all the right places?

“You’re no help. Keep me here later than I need to be.” You bite back at him.

You’re not mad at him. At all. Frustrated? Yes. Sexually frustrated to be specific.

“C’mon. I’ll help you to the car, baby.” He gives your shoulder a squeeze before turning and picking up the cake.

You stand there again- in awe. Joel Miller is one hell of a man. He keeps you on your toes. You hurry up behind him and slip on your shoes. He waits by your car and slips the cake onto the passenger seat when you unlock it. He reaches for you but hesitates. You’re right outside your house. Joel is supposed to be your maintenance man. He works on the neighbors' houses. You could hear his voice plain as day in your own head. You nod your head understandingly.

“It’s alright.” You reassure him with a small nod.

He gives a sympathetic smile.

“You text me when you get there. Alright, darlin’?”

“I will.” You nod.

He takes your hand in his and gives it a soft squeeze, careful to not irritate the scrapes.

“And take care’a these.” He adds on at the end.

You sigh softly and nod again before getting in the car. You sit there for a moment, watching Joel get into his truck and pull away before you pull out of your spot.

You knock on your dad’s front door, cake in hand.

“Aw, there she is. Startin’ to think you weren’t comin’, kid.” He opens the door with a smile, dish towel thrown over one of his shoulders.

“Hey, Dad.” You greet him with a smile.

He pulls you into a side hug and rubs his hand up your shoulder. A low whistle escapes his lips.

“Hooo boy. I never get tired’a seein’ this ol’ thing.” He gestures to the cake, taking it out of your hands and placing it on the counter.

He adjusts it a few times, taking a step back to admire it. You shake your head at his goofy antics.

“You’d think it had a rack the way I’m lookin’ at it, huh?” He looks over his shoulder to you.

You scrunch up your face and make a ‘blagh’ noise.

“Dad- come on.” You say, huffing in distaste.

He pats your shoulder and directs you to the dining room table, like you forgot where it was. He’s an oddball for sure You almost form a tear, the plate before you looks great. You’ve missed your Dad a lot but you might miss his cooking more. Wait, let you be specific. His grilling. You miss his grilling. He could grill whatever to absolute perfection. But for all that is good in the world, keep him away from a stove.

“This looks so good.” You tell him, smiling wide.

“Well it ain’t gettin’ any hotter. Sit and start chowin’ down kiddo.” He says while sitting across from you.

You comply without a second request, plopping down in the chair. He digs in while starting with pleasantries.

“How’s the apartment?”

“Good.” You say through a mouth full.

“When do you start the diner backup?” It’s his turn to talk through a full mouth.

“Tomorrow.” You swallow and take a sip of water.

“Ellie will be back tonight. I gotta pick her and Dina up really late.” You say before he can get more words out.

“I didn’t ask that.” He says, furrowing his eyebrows.

“But you were gonna, right?” You raise a brow.

He blinks at you, then looks down at his plate, shrugging his shoulders and shoving a chunk of steak into his mouth.

“Got me there, kid.” He says with a smile, one cheek bulging out.

He starts telling you about the side job he was at today. You take this opportunity to text Joel under the table:

You: made it here alive

He responds maybe a minute later.

Joel: I was getting worried

Worried? Was he thinking about you, then?

Joel: Now get off your phone. Bad manners.

You kinda like it when he talks to you like that.

Your dad is oblivious, telling you how the home owners have been a real pain in his ass. He’s ordering custom tile for their bathroom, he installs it. They decide they don’t like it anymore. So on and so forth. He’s changed the bathroom tile three times. You laugh at his frustration. It’s valid frustration but you can’t help but smile at the way he explains it. Like he’s done and tired of it, but you know he’s not. He loves doing it. That's why he tortures himself with it.

“That’s why, when this jobs done- I’m throwin’ a damn party.”

“A party?” You laugh.

“More like a barbeque, I guess.”

You nod your head, pursing your lips in thought.

“Been a while since you had one of those, it’ll be really nice.” You say genuinely.

He takes a long rip of a beer before answering.

“I know. I’ll invite some of the neighbors, friends and-“ He pauses, looking into his beer bottle.

You furrow your eyebrows and lean forward, waiting for him to continue.

“You- uh.. Heard from your Mom lately, hun?”

Oh.

It stings a little.

You don’t know why. Maybe it's the sad look in your Dad’s eyes when he asks about her. You don’t know if he’s sad for your sake, or for his own.

“Not since last year.” You say blankly. “Have you?”

He sucks his teeth while shaking his head stiffly.

“Why?” You ask in a flat tone.

“Was just gon’ say you’re more than welcome to invite her to it if you want.” He shrugs his shoulders.

You direct your attention to a stay string that sticks out of the seat cushion. You pick at it aggressively. You don’t respond. He doesn’t seem to mind. You think over the situation, playing scenario after scenario over in your brain before you decide you don’t want to deal with that. You don’t think you’ll ask. But it stays in the back of your mind.

When dinner is done, you do the dishes. You’re drying the plates and putting them away when he grabs your wrist, turning your hand over. He’s concerned, asking you about the scrapes. You wave him off and tell him you tripped on some uneven sidewalk the other day. He gives you a look, narrowing his eyes like he knows you’re not telling the whole truth. But he doesn’t press. He accepts that answer for now.

The two of you are sitting on the couch, his wide eyes boring into the TV that's playing a baseball game a little too loudly. Your dad has cleared half the cake. After he went back for a second slice, he just brought over the whole dish and has been attacking it with a fork since then. You position yourself more comfortably and start losing yourself in the game.

Joel Miller was pacing in his bedroom. His heavy boots made contact with the floor over and over again. Not long ago, he told you his visits needed to be more sparse. More secretive. Careful and quiet. He hasn’t enforced it or even brought it up since then. He can’t bring himself to. He likes seeing you. Especially this morning, how you looked at him while he helped you in the kitchen. The way your eyes, round as coins blinked up at him as he stood behind you. His chest hurt in the best way. He keeps telling himself not to get comfortable, because then he gets dumb. Too wrapped up in the what if’s and your pretty words.

“Fuck me.” Joel mutters while sitting down on the edge of his bed.

He kicks off his work boots and nudges them to the side. He’s hunched over, thumb and forefinger pinging the bridge of his nose like it’ll make him think more clearly. It isn’t working. He’s itching to text you again even though he clearly stated it was ‘bad manners’. Fuck, why did he say that? Is the lack of response because you’re listening to him, or did it turn you off? He doesn’t think it turned you off. If he remembers correctly, your body responds beautifully to demands he makes. Usually in a different context.

Fuck.

This is what he means. Babbling and going on like some school boy with a crush. The thick wall he spent years and years building up isn’t as strong as he thought.

Who would build a wall just to let it crumble?

If you’re the one breaking it down?

Joel.

Joel would let it crumble.

Knocking on your car window wakes you up. You jump, terrified. You don’t even remember falling asleep.

The last thing you do remember is Ellie texting you that they landed and need to grab their bags. Her and Dina are staring into your car window. Knocking on it again, Ellie makes a noise of excitement.

“Open up!!” It’s muffled.

You scramble to unlock the car, popping the trunk next. Before the sleep is out of your eyes, you’re out of the car and helping them load their bags into the trunk. Dina and Ellie are telling you all about their trip, one riffing off the other's story. All about Dina’s sister and her boy drama. It makes you laugh. It feels nice to have both of them back. Dina tells you about the museum they visited while they were there and how the workers let Ellie sit in the spaceship- even if it was only meant for children under 10. Ellie talks about how nice the local farmers market was. How they lived off of the local fruits and veggies there for the whole trip. They invite you to come next time.

You drop off Dina at her house, help ELlie get her bags out of the car and leave them to say their goodbyes.

“Thank you!” Dina yells and waves her arm from her front step.

You and Ellie watch her walk in the house and shut the door before pulling away.

It’s just the two of you now.

“You’d love that farm.” Ellie says with a wide smile.

“I bet I would. Give me a break from all the concrete around here.” You say jokingly.

Ellie chuckles and nods her head. She sighs softly and leans into the car seat.

“Have you been bored out of your mind since I left?” She teases.

No, not exactly.

“Yes. Nothing to do. I’ll start the diner tomorrow though.”

You look at Ellie quickly. She has a look on her face, like she’s waiting for you to finish your summary. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. You don’t say anything.

“So,” Ellie starts and you cringe at the tone.

It’s slow and wary. Not usually how the two of you speak to each other. It hangs in the air. Your eyes flicker to her and then back to the road.

“So.. Spit it out.” You say.

“Owen.” Ellie blurts out.

You want to feel Jesse’s windpipe collapse under your sore palms right now.

Ellie crosses her arms over her chest, turning her torso to you.

“What about him?” You say, trying to sound casual as you approach your street, hoping she will drop it.

“No way you’re gonna act like that. Why wouldn’t you tell me?” She sounds upset and she has the right to be.

You inhale deeply and grip the steering wheel, the scrapes on your palms pinching against the leather.

“It was nothing.”

“Nothing? That’s not what Jesse said.” Ellie bites back.

The car rolls to a stop. You push the gear shift into park and don’t say a word. You’re hoping your silence is enough of an answer for her.

“You fucking hate Owen.” Ellie retorts, her tone growing sharper.

It hurts. There's an aching throb in your chest weighing you into the seat of the car.

“I thought maybe there’d be something. Maybe I wasn’t giving him the time of day.”

“I’m sorry. Have you gone stupid since I left?”

That throb turns into a stab while you toss your hands up in defeat, not knowing what else to say. Her eyes widen and she grabs at your wrist, turning it over. The dull street light filled the front of the car in a warm orange glow that gave Ellie just enough to catch the concrete burn on them.

“Oh- fuck. This is nothing.” You pull your hand away from her while practically rolling your eyes.

It is not a big deal. You refuse to let her make it one. Everyone is out here acting like your hands are about to fall off when in reality it’s just simple scraped skin.

“Nothing? What the fuck is going on? You’ve been so quiet the past week.” She isn’t facing you anymore but her tone is still just as sharp.

“God, you’re all acting like the world is fucking falling apart. I got drunk, Jesse was giving me the drinks by the way-” Your words are flowing quickly at Ellie. “Owen came in and- does it really fucking matter? We didn’t do anything. Jesse ripped me out of there and all we did was talk. Owen bought me drinks and I drank them.”

Your words are jumbling, coming out quicker and louder. You didn’t mean for them to come out like that. They’re ripping right out of your throat all raw and sore.

“Does it really fucking matter?” Ellie repeats your words to you and it stings.

“Yes, it fucking matters,” She spits your name at you, turning to face you again. “You haven’t called me in fucking days. Been dicking my text left and right. Didn’t say fuck all about Owen. I-..” She stops to take a breath and calm her tone. “I found out from fucking Jesse. You didn’t say anything to me. I’m so sorry if it feels like nothing to you but there's no reason to shut me out. I don’t understand.”

“There's nothing to understand!” You raise your voice at her. “I’m fucking fine!”

What feels like hot liquid spills down your throat when you swallow harshly. It’s raw. Pain is stemming from your palms. You look down and see your knuckles are white, nails pressing into the cut up flesh. You groan and throw your hands into your lap. The familiar burn in your eyes lets you know what's coming and you can’t let it. You felt like you were shaken up, all the fizz was building and building and millimeters away from spilling over the top. Ellie stares in bewilderment at your tone.

“What happened since I left? Did you have an episode?” Her face relaxes, voice softer than it was moments before.

You want to scoff and roll your eyes at her but you don’t. She’s coming from a place of love. It’s not Ellie’s fault you’ve got yourself wrapped up in this. She extends her hand over the center console and all you can do is look at it for a moment.

The lump in your throat is forced down with a harsh swallow while you reach your hand out to hers and shake your head. The warmth of Ellie’s hand wraps around your own and she gives a soft squeeze.

“No. I’m okay.” You lie.

To Ellie.

To your Dad.

To Joel.

And now you’re lying to yourself.

[pintobug]

i need to gnaw on joel’s knuckles