piratewinzer

[piratewinzer]

[piratewinzer]

[piratewinzer]

I do the opposite of gatekeeping, I’m not going to shut up until you like this thing as much as I do

[piratewinzer]

this guy's beef got old enough to have geology

[piratewinzer]

FINALLY finished the fellow sophonts for Styraphant-land. They aren't too closely related to the styraphants and have quiet a few differences. They are small, energized, and hyper carnivorous. Info dump BELOW!

Caltrops live on a mostly tropical continent, with the majority of their range being lush jungle and forests. The continent is pretty new, with the flying ancestors of the Caltrops being some of the first terrestrial creatures to colonize the land. So these guys and their relatives have a pretty intense stranglehold on the niche of megafauna. Caltrops are on the larger side of carnivores there and specialize in catching smaller prey with their creepy face fingers. They also partake in fruits and other treats they can find in the shrubbery.

Or at least they did before they got CIVILIZED. They have a complex and violent history between various peoples and governments that has lead to their current system of shakily aligned states controlling very rigid territories. But things are p chill at the moment! They made contact with the Styraphants a few hundred years ago and they actually have gotten along pretty well, though it is rare to see either living fulltime outside of their native ranges. (See ranges below)

I want to make a more in depth anatomy overview for them, but here are some general notes. They have 'stalk' less eyes, more so the stalk has shortened and become part of the eye itself. They have 6 webbed fingers that cover the majority of their face, including their mouth, nostrils, and secondary fingers. They have NO digits on their front limbs, since they are derived from wings, but they do still have their toesies. That big ass spike above their head is the remnants of their keel, used now for the muscle attachments of their large head. And most importantly is their tail, which like a Styraphant, is grown and dropped to feed their young. Though it is actually the male Caltrop that drops his tail for the kids to eat. Yeah, a good lil STARTER for em. I have another info sheet almost done, but wanted to get them down so I could think on em more.

[piratewinzer]

i desperately need this demon to smile more

[piratewinzer]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. chair attack 🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑

[piratewinzer]

where is all the art that perfectly appeals specifically to my exact tastes and desires and nobody elses

[piratewinzer]

cosmo, wanda, i want you to spawn a piece of radioactive plutonium in that person's stomach

[piratewinzer]

My day job is analyzing wildlife photos, and I've been getting this strage creature on camera recently... can anyone tell me what it is?

[piratewinzer]

>listening to nin

>hear a new layer to song ive relistened to over and over

>"wow i cant believe i never noticed this before! i wonder what kind of synth he used. its very forboding in a specific way only nin can achieve"

>pause song to write post praising nin

>the synth specifically keeps playing despite the rest of the song being paused

>look outside window

>garbage truck

[piratewinzer]

YouTube ads: (30 seconds of irrelevant wackiness) Oh hohohoho the creature wants the Food!

Facebook ads: (fabricated sponsored "news" article) Here is why, everyone is buying the new thing. Trust us everyone is buying it

TikTok ads: (paid actor) I just bought this thing and it totally changed my life! Join me on my Journey, with Product...

Tumblr ads: (ai generated image of heaven) The Truth About Your Elbows

[piratewinzer]

I worked at a McDonald's as a cashier in high school and it was during a time when they changed their POS system (point of sale, not piece of shit) so everything was now in a slightly different, less logical place, but I was working 20ish hours a week so I picked it up really quickly

Anyway I was out with my friend in the next town over and we went to a McDonald's because she really wanted an ice tea and we go through the drive through. The man greets us out of the little speaker and asks for our order and she says "Hi! Could I get a large sweet ice tea please?"

Silence.

Longer silence.

And I knew in my heart what was happening.

So I leaned over and said, "It's on page two of drinks, under juice, then the third one down."

Another much shorter silence.

Then:

"What the - how the hell did... Uh. I mean. Thank you?"

And it's been literally ten years but I'm still riding the high from that.

[piratewinzer]

oh my god it is them. I would say sharing the braincell but it's more like splitting the braincell like an atom.

[piratewinzer]

This Pride I hope that all of you never ever forget that no amount of sanitizing your sex life or sanding down of your LGBT edges will make bigots accept you. So, don’t debase yourself by capitulating an inch to them, especially in ways that throw your fellow community members under the bus.

[piratewinzer]

every morning I wake up and think of these words from philosopher cher

[piratewinzer]

“is this character good or bad” “is this ship unproblematic or not” “is this arc deserving of redemption or not” girl…