pissvvytch - Tumblr blog

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Yoshitomo

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If someone jerks me off with a puppet it counts as a threesome, right?

read your bible

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Gotta hand it to my ex who I dated when I was a cis guy who sent me a post on National Ex-Girlfriend day and said "Congrats, you're my only one!" I got a good laugh out of that one

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It's really simple. If you're born with a vagina and you naturally have elevated testosterone levels, you're a man. If you have a vagina and you take testosterone, you're a woman. But also if you have a vagina, you'll never be a man. But also if you have higher testosterone then you were never a woman. Woman never yes man a vagina testosterone no was an elevated. Vagina man.

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CHAPPELL ROAN at the 2024 MTV Video Music Awards — September 11, 2024

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Sardinian nuragic civilization Miku. Is this too specific or

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I think it’s interesting how many people on the Languages post want to defend their god given right to make fun of “posh English” people and accents, and then in real life pretty much all the actual jokes I’ve seen making fun of British accents have made fun of Multicultural London English and sometimes more working class Essex area or northern and Yorkshire accents like hmmmm I don’t know how good you are at making these distinctions but it seems like you’re absolutely punching sideways or even down here?

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theres nothing in the english language quite like the britishism of "fucking about"

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I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

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Wings sourced from beekeepers dealing with the loss of their hives due to extreme weather, the pieces are made to memorialize the bees.

"A veil lifts between two worlds: light and dark; life and death; individual and union. It is worn in ceremony of transition. It is a fabric of both grief and celebration, made up of a community, a hive." by lucijockel

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theres like a guarantee that if someone’s url ends in “course” or “discourse” theyre an asshole