pivol-34720

[pivol-34720]

starting now goodbye for a while guys <3

emotionally retreating from everyone to focus on getting worse

[pivol-34720]

10000 percent true

looking has become the new sex

[pivol-34720]

americans when things cost no longer costs 1cents but two cents which is 100percebt mofe expensive but like …

Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from

[pivol-34720]

my life is getting disgusting

i am watching fun series and movies again but i literally don’t deserve this .i don’t deserve any comfort in life . but say this is okay .i am overwhelmed when i watch interesting things .i don’t want to stay here .i want to live in it .i want to be a random rock on the ground . if i can’t be anything at least be that .i want to have friends too .i want to have a quirky life in an american white fenced gated community too .i want to dance and act and be seen by others and loved by some too .i want to live too .i want to live too .i want to live there too .i want to live so safe and predictable so controlled and beautiful too .i don’t want to live the 80s . my parents were newly born then why should i live the 80s .normal life oh normal life . all ido is to pray for a miracle from now on . my life is not in my control

[pivol-34720]

are you ever in a bad mood and mistakenly flatten all human experience

[pivol-34720]

future idealized version of myself is dead because a past me couldn’t be the catalyst for change and do the hard things that current me could today still work towards but can’t start .

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[pivol-34720]

can’t relate +blocked +reported

I just added a fun activity to my life in order to make it interesting

[pivol-34720]

i’m feeling hollywood baby by 100 gecs :(

[pivol-34720]

guy in the dorm dinner hall is beautiful and we naturally come across in bus stops or common areas and he is always alone and he looks gay what was that word . he’s flamboyant (non derogatory) .i thought about introducing myself today during lunch . but instead i just sat somewhere we would be facing each other while eating .but not directly across him .like a freak .and held very short eye contact .it was weird omg

[pivol-34720]

“tumblr don’t have algorithm”

“tumblr’s algorithm doesn’t work”

how many people are talking about dying and not quiet dying at the same time as me ?

[pivol-34720]

do you guys think i stand a chance in dating world ? for reference i might be slightly attractive but also nothing exceptional and what i want is to find a boyfriend i’ve loved since we both were small children therefore we have a long standing friendship .it would be unsafe for me to try to find a person in real life so there’s only dating apps and dating apps only show three people because that’s how many gay people are here . and what i want from a dating app , is to find me a guy who i met unintentionally and if we live in different countries he does not mind that and is okay with putting up effort for getting to know a new online friend and if we live in the same city he does not text me ever and facetimes on first meeting and second meeting is in real life there’s nothing that happens in he phone ever

[pivol-34720]

do you guys think i stand a chance in dating world ? for reference i might be slightly attractive but also nothing exceptional and what i want is to find a boyfriend i’ve loved since we both were small children therefore we have a long standing friendship .it would be unsafe for me to try to find a person in real life so there’s only dating apps and dating apps only show three people because that’s how many gay people are here . and what i want from a dating app , is to find me a guy who i met unintentionally and if we live in different countries he does not mind that and is okay with putting up effort for getting to know a new online friend and if we live in the same city he does not text me ever and facetimes on first meeting and second meeting is in real life there’s nothing that happens in he phone ever

[pivol-34720]

do you guys think i stand a chance in dating world ? for reference i might be slightly attractive but also nothing exceptional and what i want is to find a boyfriend i’ve loved since we both were small children therefore we have a long standing friendship .it would be unsafe for me to try to find a person in real life so there’s only dating apps and dating apps only show three people because that’s how many gay people are here . and what i want from a dating app , is to find me a guy who i met unintentionally and if we live in different countries he does not mind that and is okay with putting up effort for getting to know a new online friend and if we live in the same city he does not text me ever and facetimes on first meeting and second meeting is in real life there’s nothing that happens in he phone ever

[pivol-34720]

girl obviously did your mom not teach you these while clothes shopping as a child

The closest experience I've ever had to discovering "the vitamin" was buying a 100% wool outfit and wearing it in the winter.

Not only was I not freezing anymore, I was not sweating and overheating either. The horrible sensory nightmare of winter clothes disappeared.

In particular, I bought a pair of wool pants. They were a thrifted pair of fancy dress pants like you would wear at an important office job, and they were easily the most comfortable pair of winter-appropriate pants i'd ever worn. I wore them Every Single Day.

From that point on I realized a lot of my clothes were making me feel bad, and the common thread was polyester. Especially polyester blends.

It's a trap because the polyester clothes are the ones that always feel sooooo silky soft when they are in the store, whereas cotton, linen and wool can feel comparatively rough and scratchy. But when actually wearing them for hours throughout the day, it's the natural fibers that feel more comfortable.

Maybe the secret to sensory comfort is not about the presence of softness, but the absence of overloading sensations. Or maybe the sensory stress and agony is not triggered by texture of the fabric, but by how it breathes and regulates temperature.

Then there's the problem of clothing life span: polyester blends, no matter how soft they seem at first, become rough and scratchy and covered in hard, itchy pills after wearing them 10 or 20 times, whether or not they have been tumble-dried or even washed at all. (I tested it!) Linen and cotton become softer and more comfy the more you wear them, polyester but ESPECIALLY polyester blends become a constant stressor. Polyester blend t-shirts I used to love for their softness now feel bristly and irritating.

So now I'm trying to change my wardrobe to as many natural fibers as possible, and the more natural fiber clothes i have the more I realize that the plastic fibers stress me out. It's so easy to overheat or freeze in them and they're always degrading and becoming less comfortable and it sucks.

[pivol-34720]

talked to another person .it’s a girl from school .only other person i talked other than the roommates mom and one cousin in weeks perhaps in months? a short and casual chit chat . she is nice as much as everyone else is actually . but she had purple ombré on her hair and has a visible disability so i thought maybe this girl is not a narrow minded scary person literally so embarrassing to put it out in its plainness like this but really this is what my thought process was . i’m sorry okay . after we talked a bit she brought up the “forced diversity” in films but held it back after she realized i don’t think it’s that bad to have someone who isn’t pale white play ariel . which could mean nothing but she’s in my school . you know my school . but she’s nice and i don’t think she’s racists . she also is kinda rich has parents who are both doctors . talks about some europe trip as summer plans . stays in her own apartment . they have pets . she grew up in holiday resorts in the summer and rest of the year probably a gated private school . and i don’t know i’m indifferent towards her . she at least complains about the exams with me but i feel like she does feel respect for the professors here . i don’t feel the same way i think they are what makes this place as suffocating as it is today . the rights wing people didn’t really have a giant pool of intellectuals to pose with or to compete with the relatively progressive authorities . that’s what they are . in the hypothetical situation where i succeed( however you define it .just succeed)in my academics or career this situation will get personal .i hate this . these people have no right to flex on their alumni .i hate them .

[pivol-34720]

i always always need to sleep

[pivol-34720]

i will fucking die

You'll find your fate on the path you take to avoid it.