pltfighter

[pltfighter]

Hi, I'm still alive. I've just been super active in the A.rcane (Specifically C.aitvi) community and so my RPing has taken a hit in terms of time constraints. BUT I am still here and do want to get more threads going soon. Both here and on @pltfighter.

[pltfighter]

She tries not to stare at the bandages where her once vibrant eye should be, but it's hard focusing one eye where once there were two. It's like coming back home and finding that things had changed while you were gone, and they were only apart for a few hours. If Ambessa wasn't dead, she would have finished the job herself for what she did to Caitlyn. It doesn't make Caitlyn any less beautiful in her eyes, it just... makes her heart hurt knowing the kind of pain she must be in. The medication probably helped. Whatever the Pilties use, that shit works miracles, she was only in marginal pain when she woke up from her coma. It wasn't quite like some of the more expensive meds like they had in Zaun, the miracle elixirs that were actual medications mixed with Shimmer and put into a little glass bottle. But... the Shimmer was gone now. It was for the better. Even if she isn't happy with what they had to do to achieve that.

But her lightness of relief at Caitlyn's survival mixes with the heaviness of losing Jinx and Vander. Lose one family, gain a new one. Why can't she have both? (She knows why). She wants a future with Caitlyn, she'll do anything to make it work, she just has to mend the hole in her heart first. Tobias had sat her down and talked with her during a long session when the doctor's were checking on Caitlyn to make sure she remained stable. They talked about grief and the burden it carried, he apologized for not being there for Caitlyn when she needed him before, but swore he was here for her now. It felt surreal after their last interaction but now she considered that man family after only a few days.

Vi leans forward into Caitlyn's trembling hand, not wanting her to strain herself too much. Janna, she could keep crying, maybe all night. And yet, she feels guilty for even entertaining the idea. Here Caitlyn is, awake after fighting for her life, and Vi is just in a sling, and bawling her eyes out. But there's some catharsis in just letting the tears flow freely. She'd bottled it all up before, even when talking about it with Ekko and later Tobias. Vander would have loved Cait, he would have hugged her like another daughter he helped raise. Because that's just the kind of man he was. And yet when she closes her eyes, she sees that wolfen face, features as shocked as they could be, staring up at her as both he and Jinx plummeted below. Vi carefully leans down so she rests on the side of the bed, her arm being carefully cradled against her chest so she didn't irritate her arm further.

"I can't think of a better time to make that promise, Cupcake. If neither of us made it, at least we would have died knowing we wanted to make the effort." She swallows, her throat burning from the tears. "I think Vander would have liked you a lot. He used to give these big hugs, like just wrapped you up entirely in his arms. Even before all of that, he was a big guy. Strong and gentle. I learned a lot from him." Her jaw clenches then, eyes squeezing shut. "Jinx took the hexgem right out of my gauntlet while I was struggling to pull them up. I watched them drop to the bottom of the tower. I couldn't do anything to save them. She just looked right at me and said Always with you, sis, and made sure I let go. I've never seen her so at peace when my whole world felt like it was crashing below." She huffed a sigh, trying to keep herself from falling back into choking sobs. "Ekko found me and brought me to the square... when I saw the state you were in... oh, Cait, I thought I lost you too."

THIS IS KIND OF EASY . there's still a surmounting anxiety and a lot of muffled confusion -- but having a conversation with vi is one of the easiest and most preferred things. A CONFUSED BODY CAN EVEN RECOGNIZE THAT . especially if her head is buzzing with anxiety like it's recognizing there's stifled pain , missing vision , and a missing section of her life. SHE ALWAYS DID JUST LIKE CHATTING WITH VI . and she's infinitely sorry she acted like she didn't when she was marred by dark grief. THAT MOMENT SHE LAID ON HER BED NEXT TO VI AS VI SPOKE ABOUT POWDER ... will forever remain positively in her head. it's a moment that sparked a happy change.

dump away , violet. CAITLYN KNOWS THAT MEANS VI TRUSTS HER . it's especially important in a moment like this where vi could have seen caitlyn as weak -- but instead they pick back up where they left off before the war. A COUPLE IN LOVE AND AGREEING TO GIVE IT ALL A SHOT . something said against the cold floor of a prison cell as they just sit next to each other basking in the glow of aftersex. ANOTHER SIGNIFICANT MOMENT IN HOW CAITLYN'S LIFE WILL PROCEED . or the fact it feels like it won't without vi in it.

THIS IS ALSO A MOMENT THAT'S HELPING HER WORK THROUGH THE WAY HER BODY FEELS INCREDIBLY WEAK . a coma will happen to do that. the hand that vi wasn't using as comfort shifts and there's a shake to it when she lifts it , but she regains control of it , long fingers just shifting over to rest atop vi's head. SCRATCH AT SCALP ACTUALLY . caitlyn is full of empathy , actually. CONTRARY TO THE POPULAR BELIEF THAT AMBESSA TRIED TO INSTILL IN HER AND THE PEOPLE OF ZAUN . she just is generally soft and caring but when it comes to vi and vi's family -- she also genuinely wanted to get to know them. ESPECIALLY VANDER . there was a part of her that romanticized the family aspect of bringing him coffee and asking him about vi. FAMILY IS SO IMPORTANT . caitlyn just breathes out , softly.

" no. i am aware that making a promise in a jail cell after the heightened emotion of sex probably wasn't the best idea , especially considering we knew a war was approaching but i did mean it. i want us to be something , i'm just sorry it can't be with your family just as well. i know you did your best , everything you can to help them. it's what you always do , so it's not your fault. "

[pltfighter]

adhd hit way too hard, only got one reply done. i'll get more done through the week.

[pltfighter]

Vi didn't really think about who she would end up with as an adult. Prison with no formal sentence kind of put a halt to any future plans she may have had. Not even daydreams of a future girlfriend or wife flitted into her head. Instead her thoughts had been preoccupied with keeping a promise to Vander that she had broken within minutes of making it. Keeping an eye on Powder. But she's more than happy with the woman who she fell in love with. If young Vi would have known what her future held, she would have scoffed at the idea. But not everything is so black and white, she's come to learn. And that's okay. People live in the grey spaces in between.

Every little sound she elicits from Caitlyn's mouth just satisfies her all the more, until she can feel a tightness building in the pit of her abdomen. A needful kind of burn that has her squeezing her legs together as she pumps her fingers in and out at a quickened pace. As soon as she feels the wetness of Caitlyn's lips around her finger, those teeth digging in, she has to squeeze her legs together even more, fighting an urge to pull Caitlyn's hand into her boxers to touch her right back. "Fuck, Cait..."

IT'S ENTIRELY KIND OF FUNNIER WHEN THEY REALIZE THAT CAITLYN KNEW HER SOULMATE WOULDN'T BE LIKE HER . not the same type of piltovian born and raised to heed to the rich mindset. STRIVING TO IMPRESS THE COUNCIL WAS NEVER ON CAITLYN'S AGENDA . she'll solve all cases , dig into a chembaron outfit and won't look back. AND THAT'S EXACTLY HOW SHE MET HER ZAUNITE SOULMATE .

there's just something about being praised by vi. SOMETHING DELICIOUS . the little moan that slips from her lips is even without her realizing it. IT'S JUST A NOISE SHE HAS TO MAKE . pleasure is an amazing thing like that. if it's done just right , your body will release how good it's feeling. THE MOAN IS SHORT AND SWEET . caitlyn's lips wrapping around vi's pointer finger before teeth to latch on. not hard , entirely. ALTHOUGH IT WASN'T QUITE A SOFT NIBBLE EITHER . it was definitely a reaction to mounting pressure and some noise.

[pltfighter]

do you wanna be gay on main with me

Girl, do I ever!

[pltfighter]

Caitlyn wasn't the only one to lose herself. They both reached into the abyss, finding the bottom of the depths and drowned in its darkness. Caitlyn's came in the form of a shadow that seemed to cloud her brow, Vi's in the grease she painted herself, smearing it around until anything that resembled her was gone. No more pink hair, the tattoos were smudged, her name on her face obscured. Even that natural rose of her lips were painted with the darkness. They were encapsulated in the shadows. Funny how that encounter in the canyon changed everything. A part of her still needed to know what the fuck Caitlyn was doing while they were apart that she overpowered her like that.

Vi watches her closely, wondering if she perhaps overstepped. Caitlyn had seen her at her worst, well, no, she hadn't. She'd seen the sanitized version of her worst, the dark hair, the jacket, more muscles while looking like she hadn't eaten a solid meal in days. She didn't see the drunk, face smeared in black paint, dirty, grungy, and covered in blood that she couldn't tell if it was hers or the other guy's. She only saw a sanitized version of Caitlyn too, the smiling posters. She hated the damn things. There was one night she had staggered back, drunk, sometime after Loris had left her, and vomited right in the street. She'd picked a scrap of paper off the ground to wipe her face clean only to see the soiled image of Caitlyn staring back at her. It was always her face staring at her where ever she looked. At least now it is real, and she's doing so much better.

Vi resists the urge to close her eyes as those hands cup her face. Caitlyn's hands always knew how to hold her, long and delicate, and yet so deadly. Instead, she searches her eyes, looking for something, anything to hint what she is about to ask her. A smile ghosts upon her lips in anticipation.

"Those posters haunted me for months, I dunno, maybe if I saw that thing in person, I could get the image out of my head. The girl in the posters wasn't you, her smile didn't reach her eyes like yours does."

LOSING YOURSELF IS ENTIRELY AN UNFORGIVING FEELING . it's so lost. it's so out of control. STARING AT THE WORLD THROUGH A PAIR OF EYES THAT SHOULD BE YOURS . and caitlyn is actually not quite sure what she would have done if vi had chosen to leave with jinx -- except that she knows there would be a hole in her world she wouldn't be able to fill. SHE COULD FIGHT THE GRIEF THE LOST OF HER MOTHER GAVE HER . she doesn't know if she could fight the loneliness and emptiness being without vi gives her. because if caitlyn is entirely honest with herself , that grief was horrendous at times because she didn't have vi to collapse onto. and she is honest.

it's the way caitlyn peers at vi from underneath eye lashes. A DIFFERENT VERSION OF THE HEAD TILT . equally as forward and dominate -- caitlyn's about to get something she wants. SHE'S ABOUT TO SOLVE A LITTLE MYSTERY . because vi is usually only not forward herself when it's sexually , intimately , or softly emotionally charged. IF VI DOESN'T LIKE SOMETHING , VI LET'S IT BE KNOWN . loud and unapologetic. just like caitlyn absolutely adores. and if caitlyn is to be quite honest , she was ashamed of the cape mostly because she thought vi would absolutely despise it. IF THAT IS NOT THE CASE --

SO CAITLYN'S HANDS MOVE FROM VI'S WAIST AND HIPS . fingers glide along vi's jawline. caitlyn just cradles vi's head and it's so soft. SHE'S BEEN NOTHING BUT SOFT WITH HER GIRLFRIEND . not after that grief hardened her blindly enough that she hurt the one person she just wanted to spend time with. it wasn't about time then , it is now. TIME CAN NOW STOP FOR THEM . just so they can breathe together. she promises from the bottom of her heart that she hasnt been so crazy over a girl like she has been for vi. A REAL PROMISE .

" why? "

[pltfighter]

Caitlyn looks past her but her eyes never leave the woman she had come to love so quickly. No matter how hard it is to see her in this state. Alive, she reminds herself, she's alive. That's better than not at all. Better than dead. Subconsciously, she chews at her lower lip. Caitlyn's good eye was just as beautiful as it had always been, if not a bit bleary from waking from her coma. She is just grateful to see it again, those eyes had been haunting what little sleep she had. That is when she wasn't replaying Jinx and Vander falling into the abyss below, over and over again. Caitlyn had been a specter that stood behind her, a hand on her shoulder assuring her that everything would be fine. Only she was dead too in her dreams.

Maybe Vi just had low expectations for Caitlyn to pull through because everyone else had been violently ripped from her. At least she still had Ekko but he was almost a stranger, after she was gone for so long, and she's certain that word of her in the uniform had gotten back to him. That is going to be a conversation for another day. Right now she has Caitlyn before her, bandages on her abdomen in the opposite spot where her scar sat. The bandages on her eye would grow rusty red every now and again in the first day or so, but today it was freshly dressed. Tobias had showed her how to care for the wound while Caitlyn endlessly slept, dabbing gently at the wound with an antiseptic and water. Sometimes she feared mixing saline in with the solution, it was so hard not to cry at times. But while her dreams were hopeless, her waking hours had been spent pleading with Caitlyn to come back to her.

What happened on your end, Vi? She doesn't even ask about her eye, downplays the impact her sacrifice had on that day. "Cait, it wasn't just for Mel. Ambessa was a threat to everyone, Mel said she couldn't have ended it without you." She smiles tiredly as she gives Caitlyn's hand a squeeze. She's avoiding Caitlyn's question, because she knows the instant she says it, it becomes real, and if it becomes real, it becomes too much to bear. "You were a hero, don't downplay what you did. You did amazing." But she knows Caitlyn, she's just going to keep asking until Vi says it.

She goes to open her mouth, but all that comes out is a choked sob, her entire body feeling like led and the ground giving way as if she was the one who plummeted. "They're gone, Cait. I couldn't save them, I couldn't save either of them." The last time she sobbed this ugly in front of her was—"Jinx, Vander, I couldn't save them." She leans her head down, resting it on top of Caitlyn's hand, mindful of the IV. "I couldn't save them." Great, her love wakes from her coma and she's immediately dumping this on her. The last few days have just been so much that she knew she was going to explode if it didn't escape her. "And I was so scared I was going to lose you too. I almost did, it was close there for a bit."

YOU KNOW SOMETIMES WHEN YOU WAKE UP AFTER BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF A DREAM , IT FEELS LIKE YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE ? or what was real and just the dream? it's like that right now , but immensely intensified. caitlyn's finger twitches and vi's hand under it becomes suddenly so very real , so she taps again. THE FUNNY THING ABOUT THOSE DREAMS WERE SOME OF IT WERE REAL . caitlyn didn't make up how warm vi feels. not just in a temperature way , vi just feels warm and comforting.

single eye shifts behind vi and caitlyn feels more like she's in her bed , sinking into it , in her family's mansion of a home. A DEEP BREATH IN . yeah , she's home. now she has to gather why she's home. EYE SWITCHES BACK TO VI . she's just staring for a few seconds because that's all it takes to remember. THE FIGHT . the goddamn war they shouldn't have been fighting. ambessa and all her contingency plans , minus the one where she didn't think caitlyn would sacrifice an eye. THE HAND IN VI'S SHIFTS LIKE SHE WAS GOING TO MOVE IT. it just felt heavy , like it was a lot of work , so it falls back into vi's palm. but suddenly it makes a little too much sense why her vision is skewed. EVERYTHING IS OFF . exactly like she can't open one eye. and why that side of her face is uncomfortable. EYE WAS , INDEED , SACRIFICED . wasn't it.

IF THERE WAS ONE THING SHE WAS GOING TO REMEMBER ... it's that she loves vi. caitlyn's hand squeezes back and it feels exactly like the body slowly regaining strength after the longest and most emotionally tiring sleep. WITH AN ADDED DOSE OF BEING STABBED TWICE . lips twitch now , that is the softest and smallest little smile to quirk caitlyn's lips. that is still the same face in her dreams and the one she fell in love. THAT'S STILL THE WARMTH SHE CRAVED . the one she felt in her dreams like it wasn't even a dream. vi had been the color in her black and white world when her mother died. IT'S JUST SO EASY TO FOCUS ON AGAIN . questions being found.

" for mel , you mean? ambessa was mel's mother after all , so mel ended the tragedy. i just helped her. ambessa is gone. mel was an amazing partner. i missed my brawler. what happened on your end , vi? "

[pltfighter]

They had all been different people at some point, hadn't they? The Vi that Cait accidentally ambushed in the commune was not the Vi she freed from prison. That Vi was desperately trying to chase away apparitions of Caitlyn, hoping to concuss her out of her mind, or to live in the delusion that she was there beside her as she drunkenly passed out in what she called bed. At least she was sober when they encountered each other again, even if not entirely by choice. People change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, and sometimes they have to fight tooth and nail to get back to who they were.

That's where they are now, nails cracked and nailbeds bleeding, because they clawed and fought their way back to who they were. Only they could never fully be who they were before, they were changed, scarred, but damn if they weren't going to get close. Fitting that they stand bare to each other now, scars on full display, each with their own story. Some far more heroic than others. It's equally honest as it is attractive.

It's funny how Caitlyn's wealth and position had informed some of her view of the world, even if she had never meant it to, just as Vi's upbringing had informed her view. And yet Caitlyn never truly held her wealth over Vi's head. Her wealth was honestly the least interesting part about her, she didn't give a shit about any of that. She cared about her interests, her culture, her favorite foods and drinks, all the things she didn't have a chance to get to know before. For once they aren't running, they have time to breathe. Vi watches Caitlyn carefully, she almost looked surprised to hear about the posters. Did she not know? It really hadn't seemed like something she would do, then again, a lot of things the Commander did didn't feel like Caitlyn's actions. Maybe not all of them were. Ambessa had her hands in more pies than Vi realized. Caitlyn's gaze distracts her again.

"Do you still have it?" That was probably a bad question. "You don't, ah, shit, you don't have to answer that. I probably shouldn't have brought it up."

IT'S JUST THAT CAITLYN IS HAVING A HARD TIME SEPARATING JINX IN MOMENTS . or maybe they are separated and the jinx that kidnapped her and taunted her is different than the one that said 'i didn't know.' JUST TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE . maybe they are different people. just like the caitlyn that thrust her gun forward to shake vi's hand off it out of a pure aggravation was different than the caitlyn that gave up her gun for vi's life. BECAUSE THEY ARE , ACTUALLY . that anger and frustration made her personality dark and demented. so is what grief does.

... and if she hadn't asked vi to join here , caitlyn would be a little paranoid. THINKING ABOUT IT . she doesn't think about it with vi. IT'S THAT PLEASANT , LITTLE DISTRACTION . well , maybe not so little. there are a pair of boobs and a set of abs directly on display where caitlyn is actually more so thinking about running fingernails down stomach. THAT'S WHY THE BACK OF ONE KNUCKLE IS JUST LIGHTLY CARESSING SCAR . she pauses when vi asks that question. head turning slightly.

still , to this day , every damn second , caitlyn is also so in love with vi's fascination of caitlyn's culture instead of her class. SHE LIKES THE WAY IT FEELS SO COMFORTABLE SETTLING WITH THE FACT IT'S NEVER BEEN OIL AND WATER . they fit together so well. a sharpshooter and her brawler. close range and far range. COMBINATIONS THAT NEED EACH OTHER . the words 'the posters' catches her attention the most at the moment. she had to contemplate that. AMBESSA DID A LOT OF THINGS THAT SHE DIDN'T ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT . caitlyn handled the crime and the council and that's about it. ambessa was doing so much else , including those posters. the most notorious is working with singed without caitlyn knowing. ONE BLUE EYE SHIFTS BACK TO VI'S PRETTY FACE .

" it was a gift from ambessa. "

[pltfighter]

Vi preferred actions to words anyway. Anyone could say I'm sorry. Two words, could mean anything at all. But it ultimately meant nothing when they weren't supported by actions. Actions were what spoke to her the most. And Caitlyn had been apologizing in everything she did for her since that day. In tender touches, in kind glances, in patience, in everything she's done to make the Zaunite feel like she belonged in one of the nicest houses in all of Piltover. Maybe even the nicest. She hadn't really been in any others save for the one she broke into as a teen.

Teen Vi would never believe where she is now. A safe home, no holes in the roof, just a giant beautiful window where she could look up at the stars at night if she couldn't sleep. And a woman she loves more than all of Runeterra by her side. If Vi believed in soulmates, she might well think she's found hers. Funny how that worked out.

Caitlyn brings Vi's hand to her lips, pressing kisses over the healing knuckles and she can't help but wonder if it's an attempt to stifle the noises Vi knows she's going to draw from those lips. Either way, she doesn't mind. She's still paying worshipping kisses along her neck, fingers still ministering prayers inside her in a steady rhythm.

As Caitlyn's grip on her boxers tighten, Vi just presses herself closer to the woman, feeling the heat radiate off her body. She'll get some noises out of her soon enough, she knows it. Cait can't help herself. Rumbling a hum against Caitlyn's throat she picks up the pace with her fingers, curling them as she moves deeper inside her. "Ah," she says, huffing a breath against her skin, "you feel so good."

YOU CAN EITHER CHOOSE TO NEVER FORGIVE OR FORGIVE . and maybe it's never really as simple as that , sometimes it just has to be as simple as that. CAITLYN WILL NEVER MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES . and her apologies are always in the way she makes she vi knows she's apart of caitlyn's family now. AND SOMETIMES LOVE IS JUST THE COMFORT IN THE LACK OF LONELINESS . a perfect match.

... it's just been months of them figuring out how to live together. AND THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. has it even really been 'figuring it out' when they've learned to communicate. months of them just living together peacefully.

THERE'S ALWAYS THESE LITTLE MOMENTS THAT JUST INFINITELY REMIND CAITLYN HOW IN LOVE SHE IS . their sexual intimacy is actually one of those moments where they just read and understand each other. MOST OF THE TIMES IT'S ON THE BATTLEFIELD TOO . where they have to actually communicate how each other work are all those other moments : cooking in the kitchen , waking up , showering , all routines.

for a second there , caitlyn didn't know what to react to. FINGERS JUST TIGHTEN AROUND VI'S BOXERS AGAIN . caitlyn's other hand just wraps around the wrist of the arm caitlyn was lying on. BRINGING KNUCKLES TO HER LIPS . the kiss is entirely soft. the rest of her body is tensed up in just the way where a body exposed to pleasure is trying to cultivate it. AND THEN SHE RELAXES AGAIN . hips slowly move against vi's hand again. lips are still resting against vi's knuckles.

[pltfighter]

She lost count of the days from the battle until now. And despite her insistences that she could keep a constant vigil at her bedside, both Mel and Tobias would force her to sleep at some points. At first in one of the guest rooms, worrying that she wouldn't be able to rest if she was in the same room. Eventually they relented, setting up a trundle bed from one of the guest rooms. Tobias, at some point, realized that Vi meant everything to Caitlyn, and Caitlyn to her. Her devotion couldn't be questioned, not with the way she put her own health aside just to stay up with her.

There were occasional moments where Tobias would jostle her awake from her chair (the same chair Loris sat in to watch over her when it was Vi in that bed), a cup of Ionian tea in hand and some biscuits along the saucer. You need to eat, he would say. Eventually it was little hand sandwiches and cups of broth. Perhaps this was his way of coping, taking care of someone else's daughter when he could do little for his own. He wasn't the same man who snapped at her when she lingered after Cassandra's death. It felt like life had slapped him back to consciousness, knowing he almost lost his daughter as well.

Almost. Because Vi has to believe she was going to make it through this.

Another day, the doctors have learned to work around her, Vi sitting like a broken gargoyle, keeping watch over the woman she loved. Her arm shifted in the sling, breath sucking in sharply but she tried not to let her pain show. It felt selfish while Cait lays there, softly breathing, an IV in her hand, and bandages covering her face.

Phthisis bulbi, Tobias had observed, his clinical side kicking in, because Vi knew if he had addressed it as Tobias, father of Caitlyn, and not Dr. Kiramman it would have hit him in the chest without mercy. Dead eye, he had followed it up with. Those eyes were the first thing Vi truly noticed about her. Cerulean pools framed by dark eye makeup. About the only makeup Caitlyn wore, now that she thought about it.

Damn, even with all these bandages, she can tell Caitlyn's scars are going to heal just as pretty as she is. Piltovans don't get nasty scars, they get neat little lines, they can afford the best doctors. She won't have valleys etched into her skin like Vi does.

She's grateful for that.

But she starts when she glances back up and sees Caitlyn's living eye open. Open and staring, as if she's trying to figure out where she is. Home, Cait, you're home. But she can't speak, the words don't come out. It feels like something so deeply lodged in her throat that she could choke on the hopeful apprehension. She's awake, the real question is, is she aware?

Hand twitch and in an instant Vi is back at her side, sliding her hand under Caitlyn's and giving it a light squeeze. Nothing too tight, she fears it could break her in this state. Caitlyn was tall and lean, but she always had a sense of strength about her, not the oxen kind like Vi had, more like a sleek jungle cat. But she looks so frail now, like a gentle breeze could blow her away. She would block it all from hurting her.

Vi bites at her lower lip, nerves settling in as Caitlyn turns to regard her, only one blue eye this time. It's dulled, still brighter than Vi's steel eyes, but dulled all the same. "Hey, Cupcake. It's me... I'm here. Mel told me you went and had to be a big damn hero."

THERE'S THE PRIVILEGE AGAIN , ISN'T IT? caitlyn with machine beeping in her own bed with her own covers. WITH COLORS THAT LOOKED LIKE SHE CHANGED THEM SLIGHTLY BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT VI . at one point it's not going to matter because war is war and it's violent and horrendous. EVERY SINGLE ZAUNITE THAT'S INJURED IS ALSO SITTING IN BEDS . with machines whirring being treated so that they can heal. JUST LIKE THE PILTONIANS . a bunch of early 20-something-year-olds shouldn't have fought a war.

... in the end the only real privilege now is that caitlyn is loved and her death would be the end of the world for someone that has nothing else. AND CAITLYN WOULD LOVE TO LIVE WITH VI . for vi. because nothing else matters. caitlyn loves vi. VI LOVES CAITLYN . everything else in their lives they place around that so that they can continue to have that. for love.

IT'S ONLY BEEN A COUPLE OF DAYS BUT CAITLYN HAS LIVED A WHOLE LIFETIME IN HER HEAD . sitting in a comfortable chair , drinking tea , both eyes as she just listens to vi. THOSE WERE HER LITTLE DREAMS . and sometimes she listens to vi and tobias converse , happy little smile. SHE NEVER NOTICES HER LITTLE WORLD IS LIMITED . just the area , there's nothing beyond it. at least until one of the moments when she's sitting on a couch. COMFORTABLE . she's sinking in. she has her arm around vi , vi sinking into her side. THE VI SHE'S WITH ISN'T THE ONE THAT JUST SAID THAT THOUGH . her head turns , she looks towards where there should be a door. THERE IS NO DOOR . it's a blank space. not just pitch black. THERE IS NOTHING THERE . her eyes close. when she opens them again , she's in a different location. STARING AT THE CANOPY OF HER BED . an extreme discomfort and slight pain. her vision isn't right either.

caitlyn just takes a deep breath in. THERE'S A DEEP CONFUSION . struggling to remember. struggling to rid herself of the dream world that ultimately felt real. IT'S DEFINITELY A DISORIENTATION . things feel more in place. not like the dream world. THERE'S SOMETHING BEYOND THE CANOPY AND NOT JUST THE CANOPY . but she also remembers voices with such clarity. vi talking about jinx. tobias talking about cassandra. vi just conversing with her. THERE WAS MEL A FEW TIMES TOO . jayce was the only one missing.

caitlyn's hand twitches. THAT FEELS MORE REAL THEN THE DREAM WORLD . fingers stretch out , testing the water. doesn't really help the confusion , but that's her body and that's her control. HEAD FINALLY TURNS TO CONTROL THE DISORIENTATION . canopy goes to bed , right? so if she turns , there should be ... bedroom. and there is. the breath outward is shaky. HER VISION STILL ISN'T RIGHT . but she knows that red hair anywhere. so , a single blue eye just regards vi.

[pltfighter]

Pride Caitvi piece for the StillFantastic caitvi server - collab between @meg-noel-art and myself! They drew Caitlyn and rendered Vi and I drew Vi and rendered Caitlyn!

[pltfighter]

The Final Curtain

My contribution for Still Fantastic Month. This week's theme: Commander Caitlyn and Pitfighter Vi. I wanted to go for something akin to gothic horror, that feeling of something ending. I swear Cait is just staring into the distance, no need to fret.

Click for full size.

ko-fi

[pltfighter]

A man of science. Maybe in another life Powder would have picked this guy's brain. But in this life she was sooner to put a bullet in it. Vi shook the thought, not wanting to ponder what her sister had become in her absence. "Is he the guy that came up with all that fancy shit you guys use?" She couldn't sugar coat the jealousy and slight anger at the fact that the topside lived in opulence while Zaun suffered. Their houses were every bit of gilded homes, Zaun's were covered in corrugated sheet metal bolted down to mask holes in the walls.

Mel doesn't flinch, that's enough for Vi for now. Still not enough to fully trust her, just enough for her to feel a little less abrasive. Of anyone at that table, Mel had seemed the most likely to help them in their cause. She seemed reasonable, not wanting war. Too many were quick to turn bloodthirsty, viewing Zaunites as lesser than, needing to remember their place. Vi still reserved final judgment, but it is enough for now that she doesn't let ire for the Council slip into her voice.

"Yeah, well, I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up for the status quo to change, huh?" Platitudes meant nothing when nothing was going to change. Jayce seemed more eager to go into the trenches and face the problem head on, if she could convince him to go with her, maybe they could put an end to Silco's plots and power. Vi shook her head, her hands shoving into her pockets in frustration. "I'm not going to be able to wait around for new councilors to replace the old ones who refuse to budge. My people are under the thumb of a drug lord who isn't above using child labor and killing his own people. They get to sit in their fancy towers and turn away from the problem." There is a moment where she takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I just hoped it would be different this time. I don't know why."

Vi wasn't afraid to be assertive about what bothered her. Mel seemed sympathetic to the cause, maybe if she heard the frustration behind it, how long Zaun had suffered because of Piltover's inaction, or worse, because of Piltover's actions. It was enough to drive anyone mad with frustration.

"Ah, I see." Mel says with a nod in Vi's direction. "He's probably in his lab, working on Hextech." That's usually where Jayce is when he's not with the Council. He and Viktor work hard on the inventions. And Mel is happy for them, and for Piltover to have their inventions. To truly stand for progress in that sense.

Mel shakes Vi's hand firmly. The other woman has a firm grip, but Mel isn't scared of that. In fact, she rises to the challenge. At least, she thinks she does. Vi will be the true judge of that, of course. But Mel still has her confidence. If she has nothing, she has that. And her feeling that there is a better way of doing things than the violence and war her mother always reaches for.

Mel raises her eyebrows when Vi says that. "Of course. I was impressed by your courage in addressing the council. I'm sorry that things didn't go your way," She truly is. And if it was up to her, alone they would have. "Piltover may be known as the City of Progress, but in many cases its councilors are set in their ways. Still, I hope that one day that will not be the case as much as it is now. If we are truly to be the City of Progress, then we must stand for good things and not bad ones, isn't that right, Vi?" Mel's eyes twinkle as she looks at Vi. Hoping that her words are seeming as genuine as they are. Mel really believes in Vi's cause, despite how rough around the edges the other woman can be.

Regardless, Vi deserves to be heard. To be listened to. To be respected. And if it was up to Mel alone, she would be. Alas, there is only so much one person can do. And though Mel thinks of herself as having a keen mind, even she can not force her fellow councilors to see things her way. At least, not all the time.

[pltfighter]

Some of the kids in Zaun were born soldiers. It was never a choice, they had to do whatever it took to survive a city where every day was a fight for survival. It wasn't as if there weren't good days, they found ways to have fun, to make the best of a terrible situation, but this place, it found a way to make adults out of children way too fucking fast. Too many dead parents, too many broken dreams. What a way to live.

She was grateful that Ekko never had to see her in the Enforcer uniform. The only reason she put it on was so she could be there when Jinx was dealt with, it had been the only way. At least it felt that way at the time. But she meant what she said to Ekko. He had grown up to be a good man, his heart was still so big, he was a symbol of hope for the Firelights, and probably for the rest of Zaun. Too bad Jinx couldn't be here with them now. She deserved to be.

"Ah," The things that happened. So much had happened between the night she was abducted and jailed by Marcus. Those two were so close as children, they were the same age, both brilliant tinkerers. Both precocious little shits. It saddened her to see them fight, but when they arrived together at the battle, for a moment it felt like old times. He would always be Little Man in her eyes, just as it had been so hard to shake Powder from Jinx. She lost seven years of her life, of course she was stuck where things had left off. "But not for enough of it. If I could have escaped, I would have." She was just a kid, she shouldn't have been there.

It was funny how comfortable she had become with crying more openly. Bottling her emotions had gotten her nowhere. Her fists spoke to her toughness, but her heart was so damn soft and it had been squeezed to the point of popping so many times. She didn't have to be strong all the time, did she? No. No she didn't. She ran a shaky hand across her eyes.

"She looked so defeated when she left... I—" Her hand began to massage her shoulder, it still carried a dull ache most of the time. "She did fight, she saved me from Van—from that beast. And they both fell to the pit of the tower." She swallowed, the tears finally falling down her cheeks. "I know, I didn't even get to tell her I was proud of her. Last thing she said to me was I'm always with you, sis." She didn't go into what happened next, the image was already seared into her mind, she didn't need it embedded in his as well.

⊱ ━━━━━━━━.⋅ ⤽ ⋅.━━━━━━━━ ⊰

Children of Zaun had to grow up fast. They didn't get to bask in innocence the way the kids topside did. Survival was a fight. It wasn't easy to claw your way out of that mindset even into adulthood. Parents tried to shield them, sure. But how many orphans were there in the Lanes? Vi, Powder, himself... Most of the Firelights had lost their loved ones a long time ago.

He shrugged off her compliments. It wasn't as if he didn't see himself as someone tough. He did. It was more... Awkward when someone you looked up to sang your praises. Even if he didn't always agree with Vi, her putting on that uniform still left a bad taste in his mouth, he still cared about her. She had been like a big sister to all of them. He spent years thinking she was dead. He was happy she was still in his life. If only Jinx was here too.

"She told me a lot." They had a pretty big heart-to-heart. He told her about the other timeline. Of course, the z-drive had Powder written all over it in terms of its aesthetic. She was too smart to not see it. She told him about her life with Silco and after. About the commune and Isha. About Vi's refusal to give up on her. Jinx had always been emotional, even when she was Powder. He spent a lot of time hating her and blaming her. And it seemed like she had spent the same amount of time blaming herself and hating herself too. He only wished they could have fought for Zaun together. "About how she felt and the things that happened. It was... Well, you were there for some of it."

He looked up at Vi. He pretended not to see the tears threatening to spill out. Ekko hadn't cried about it much. He hadn't let himself. He sure as hell wasn't going to do it in front of Vi. Not when she needed him to be strong. How many times did she put on a brave face for them back when they were kids? It was the least he could do for her now.

"She didn't give up then though." It only took a couple of rewinds, which he didn't mention. "She fought and helped protect our cities." A pause. "She loved you, Vi." His voice shook. He spent so much of his life missing Powder. He had hoped it would be different but...

( @pltfighter. )

[pltfighter]

Grief is a horrible thing, isn't it? The way the world stops, everything around her becoming the single monotone buzz in the ears as if an explosion had gone off beside her. Just the buzzing, the buzzing and the scream that tears from her own throat that she couldn't even recognize as hers. The same scream that had Ekko rushing to her location to get her out of a tower that was barely keeping itself upright. It was doing a better job than she was. Her arm dangled limply at her side as she held on to him, the hoverboard racing down to the battle below. Already medic teams were rushing to the square and setting up tents and equipment.

But those teams couldn't save Jinx or Vander. They were already gone, their descent into the abyss dragging on forever until she couldn't see them any longer. All that after the strange ethereal calm of weightlessness, of mindlessness and then the sudden crash of reality hitting her with the force of a boulder

She remembers the feeling of her world dropping out from under her for the second time in less than 10 minutes, medics crowding around one spot in the center of the square, Mel among them, the sun glistening off the gold inlays on her skin were unmistakable. Vi watched in horror as a limp and bloody body could be seen in the mass of bodies huddled about. No. No! As they drew closer, Vi didn't wait, leaping down from the hoverboard and landing ungracefully to the hard ground below.

"CAIT!" She cried out, voice raw from all her prior screaming as she rushed in, shoving medics aside with her good shoulder, wedging her way between them. Even Mel, upon seeing who it was, urged for some space. "No, no, no, no, no..." Not you too, she thought, the words repeating. A bloodied dagger laid beside her body, a wound weeping blood in her abdomen, her eye swollen shut and leaking crimson. Caitlyn was nearly unrecognizable as she pulled her battered body against her, holding her to her chest as the tears she shed for her family earlier grew to include one more.

The breath that was leaving her was labored, faint. Alive, but not for long. "Hold on, just hold on Cait, you have to live!" A desperate tremble shook her voice. She barely registered the soft touch of Mel's hand on her shoulder, blurry eyes looking up only to be met with the sympathetic gaze of the older woman. You need to let her go, she mouthed. Vi just stared for the longest moment, her grip on Caitlyn loosening as steel blue eyes looked down at her body one last time, gently wiping away her bloodied tears before the medics gingerly took her from her arms.

As the medics cart her away with urgency, all Vi can do is remain kneeling, arm dangling unnaturally at her side, Caitlyn's blood staining her lap and hand. Caitlyn's blood. Janna, there was just so much blood. Mel and Ekko are beside her now, but she hardly notices, nor does she notice as they gently help her to her feet, guiding her to another tent to get her arm tended to.

She doesn't fucking care. They could amputate it and it wouldn't matter. If she lost Caitlyn her world would be utterly destroyed.

It feels like it is taking too long, the dread building in her chest, tightening and tightening until she feels her heart may go out. she sits by Caitlyn's bedside, hearing the machines going off, seeing the tubes sticking out of her arm, the bandages on her face. And she can't hold them back anymore, the tears tear from her throat, wracking sobs as she leans over against the bed, not even caring that bumping her arm in the sling sends a shock of pain through her shoulder. It doesn't fucking matter. She just needs Cait to survive, fuck everything else. "I can't lose you too, Cait." She whispers, "I can't lose you, you have to fight. Please, I need you to fight."

━ plotted starter for @pltfighter .

THE LAST THING CAITLYN FULLY REMEMBERS : JUST AS IF TIME HAD STOPPED . technically it had because her body had went into shock and it needed to pause life to heal. caitlyn didn't want to die. SHE ADMIRED LIFE TOO MUCH . or , rather , maybe it's that she admires watching other people live too much. her fingers had been trying not to dig into mel's arm , but there was a rather surmounting pain shooting through her abdomen. IT BEAT OUT THE EYE SOMEHOW . maybe she was trying not to focus on that. moving carefully , slowly , focusing on mel's warmth and comforting voice. MEL'S NO DOCTOR , BUT SHE IS SOMEHOW A HEALER . caitlyn would have been fine if what happened next hadn't happened.

somehow it was nothing and everything. a thousand voices. A BODY WITHOUT A FORM . the arcane working in whispers. viktor's voice. nothing. more whispers. nothing. AND THEN THE ARCANE HAD LOST IT'S HOLD , but cait had been semi-floating. and she came crashing back down. one hand did reach out to catch her fall so bleeding eye and head wouldn't crash into cement. SHE FELT THE JARRING SENSATION IN HER ABDOMEN . arm slid slowly out from under her until she was just laying on the ground. A WHEEZE OF A NOISE .

... and then she doesn't quite remember anything after that. SHE JUST KNOWS THAT LAYING ON THE BED WITH VI'S EYES STARING LONGINGLY INTO HERS WASN'T REAL . sometimes she heard conversations and rewrote them in her head so she was talking to someone. sometimes she would get confused -- like where was vi's sobbing coming from if she's smiling right in front of her. IT WOULD USUALLY SWITCH FROM MEL OR VI WHERE SHE WOULD HAVE A CONVERSATION . somehow always in the garden. a favorite.

somewhere in the real world outside of cait's consciousness , mel was a little desperate and hovering around seb who was working fast to at least stop all bleeding. THE SHOCK PROBABLY COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED . if there wasn't those few minutes of cait just suspended in air , bleeding. SEB WILL FIX IT THOUGH . mel's already running to find someone else that's able bodied and seb is still working hard.

[pltfighter]

the game plan is to do replies on vi tonight and on @ofspvrta tomorrow or thursday night

[pltfighter]

New (matching) icon for pride made by the bestie @torntruth